"here we go again"
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Crusader Kings II
Game of Thrones
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#ck2#gaming#memes
i never want to do one of these again...please...
coward!
We love you too Vale
Getting those Caligula vibes once again.
But the thing is Vale, the vale is a place, so now you have to do it with the whales
This is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself... Jk never stop these are so good.
"I hate you guys for making me choose Stark!" Meanwhile the other two specific options were marked as "almost cheating"...
No no no, The Lannisters are almost cheating. The Targs are just straight up regular cheating.
In this mod, if you imprisoned Arya you could have clicked the option to 'visit her cell' until she got pregnant.
You stop that!
I don't even wanna know how you learned that
I love how CK2 has taught us...things. We shall never be innocent again.
you cant. pregnancy depends on odds. when you click once she gets a skill like visited chamber and you cant visit again for some time. But i suggest dont use this ability because arya and kins hates you ten years.
i used to force marriage button. when i prisoned the child king. it was joff who married with my girl and then died. my girl becomes queen. i start a fraction on senyority law, and won the won so seven is mine and there is civil war. :C
"How are you supposed to win this war!?" You're the Starks. You're not.
welll about that.
It's actually really easy to win because you have Brynden Tully as a commander
The only way I've ever seen them win is rushing King's Landing. Which is what they tend to do. The Iron Throne tends to focus Stannis over the Starks roughly 3/4 of the time in my experience. Brynden does his job and dies, giving Robb his armor, Robb makes a weirwood spear or inherits Ice when John gets Rabies, ya know, Ck2 stuff.
It’s not too difficult a war once you got it down. You have two major advantages at game start. One: Direct command of the Riverlands army. While the rest of your enemies are divided, you enjoy a centralized, player run command structure. Two: Mobilization Speed. The Riverlands is basically one large vassal, usually giving you about 20k or so troops. From there, the strat is simple. Raise all levies. Use the piecemeal levies in the North to deal with the Ironborn. Win enough battles and victory is yours, and that gets easier once the first couple are won and the Ironborn are only sending a few hundred against the thousands of Northmen waiting for them. In the South, mobilize the Riverlands and invade the Westerlands. Your goal is not to take castles but to kill soldiers. The Westerlands levies are divided. Attack them piecemeal and neuter the Westerlands. During all of this, watch the Reach. If they don’t join the Lannister’s, divorce Roslin and marry Margaery to remove the Reach from play. They won’t ally you, but they won’t attack you. If this happens, the war is a breeze once the Lannister’s are weakened. Attack Joffrey once you see that his armies are weak enough to risk such an invasion. If the Reach joins the Lannister’s, play defense. Keep them from holding Riverlands territory, and spank any small armies with the Riverlands levy while the North is secured from Ironborn. Then, call those Forces south to help defend until you feel an invasion is possible or your war score gets high enough. At that point, congratulations! The North is a free Kingdom at last! You are now one of the best commanders in Westeros with all your enemies weakened. Do as you will with that.
@Lilithan Chrispiford the 4th The Blackfish is too OP. I was once playing as Stannis then came across him and the Northern Army which was just a bit more half my size and they still beat me
"This has not gone well." Robb Stark's life in a nutshell. Hell, STARKS in a nutshell
I bit youre smiling now that the show has ended
Tony Stark agrees
Char Zy Nope, bran was my favorite character. However, that’s to rushed and insulting writing, I have to hate him now.
@@shayla106 ok sorry my bad. I meant "smiling"
Even Tony Stark ended up in the rough... yikes
All incest aside, Stannis just casually taking the Iron Throne was fucking hilarious
*battle breaks in near the wall* "We're just gonna ignore that for now" Just like everyone else for the first seven seasons.
Game: The Starks refuse to participate in your internet poll. Game: The Starks win by abstention.
Starks have no time for these shenanigans :D
"House Baratheon is dead, there are no living members..." *aggressive hammering in the background*
*aggresive rowing*
Technically he’s a Waters because bastards.
Kekero He could get legitimised
Considering the Lannisters wins in the end, who's to say he wasn't purged?
Casandshail I forget, confuse crow lands with Stormlands
A small lesson: Never hire a Lannister to be your bodyguard
that will come back to bite you later.
12:55 Arya's husband was reincarnated as her son via the immortality event chain lmao
Jamie went beast mode... Two for two on the kingslaying.
The historical version of _WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEP BRO?_
in this case is WHAT ARE YOU DOING BRO?
what art thee doing broth'r?
@@chickenjoelnuggito7316 *thou nay thee
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ON THE BED ONII-CHAN
"𝓟𝓸𝓶𝓯"
"I can feel my knee bending on its own" 😂😂😂 that just killed me!
Stannis is the ONLY true king.
@@dylanmonstrum1538 true kings are chosen by their people. stannis is an unpopular moron
God Emperor of Mankind 3.0 in the books he was extremely popular. He almost got Jon Snow to become lord of Winterfel (then Jon got stabbed), the Iron bank started to back Stannis up against the Lannister’s and his soldiers are loyal to the bone to him as he is a king that fights with them on the battlefield
@@valon5069 wheres the army? as far as i can tell, his highest point involved men that were already sworn to serve him (Stormlords after Renlys death). renly is right 100%. a man without friends is a man without power. his soldiers are half sellswords, and half men who preferred Renly and would have obeyed Renly's orders to KILL HIM
God Emperor of Mankind 3.0 that is true, I cannot deny it. But it would seam most were not as loyal as they seam after his death. Only the Reach joined the Lannister’s after Renlys death. I’d wager the lords on Renlys side only joined him because they believed they would have gained more from him. Simply what I am trying to say is this: partially you are right. He isn’t very popular with most southern Lords because of his....... foreign ways. But you cannot deny those who originally follow him see him as the only good leader. Not only that he is the true heir to the throne. Stannis is steel while Renly is Bronze. Stannis would rather break than bend, while Renly is nice looking yet easy to mold yourself. Renly would have made the kingdom corrupt within a few years if he had won, which he would have not. No matter what he could not escape the fate the fire god gave him, which is a pity
*Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good...*
*You will soon be feeling good, my daughter*
I love you 3000
STAHP
@@ExcedereInInfinitum cursed comments
I had a vision
If Westeros had social media: *Robb Stark* and *Sansa Stark* are now in a relationship!! Liked by Cersei and Jaime Lannister
HaHahahah that is hilarious 🤣 that made my day 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😃
@@larenianightengale9467 *The Tagaryens* liked that
Only in a Valefisk game could _Lancel_ get the Iron Throne
Stannis the Mannis doing gods work by ending Jeoffre's reign singhandedly
I have never seen Game of Thrones, but I feel the pain radiating out of this man's voice. I am very confused as to what's going on and want no answers.
Same.
Me as well. I hear the pain. Have no idea what's going on. Yet can't stop laughing.
Its very easy to grow attached to the charecters of game of thrones. The Starks especially.
@@xanpenguin754 Still Team Lannister
@@nursetobee. Personally supporting the one true king of Westeros
"They're not real people, they're not real people, they're not real people"
Sweet Home Valyria
March to King's Landing, siege it down, capture Joffrey, war over. Works every time.
True, it does. To be honest, the war is the best part of that scenario though. It gets mundane pretty quickly when you simply win it and then easily unite against the White Walkers. I find it more fun just to keep it going.
@@MrJH101 how's it going littlefinger
He goes to hiding
"M'y knee is just bending on its own" I know the feeling brother. It happens when you meet the rightful king
hes not and has never been the "rightful" anything. why is he rightful? because his brother had a big hammer? one big lesson of ASOIAF is that blood and claim means little. if it meant something, perhaps Stannis wouldnt have been slaughtered with such ease by Ramsay
Stannis the Mannis does is again! One true king!
Damn Starks, being good, honourable, non-incesting human beings!
Welp you failed too quickly, gonna have to try again
Fun fact: Robb Stark never lost ANY battle, even against Jaime Lannister who was considered by most as the best knight in the 7 Kingdoms (when he still had 2 hands)
he never directly faced Jaime one on one and when Jaime tried, Robb refused. yes hes a great commander. but a horrible politician. thats why he lost. 'i won every battle but im losing the war". Jaime was never that impressive as a commander. out thinking him isnt the masterpiece you think it is. Also the Stark side was losing battles here and there as he gave Roose command of the infantry and Roose was intentionally losing battles to bleed Stark loyalists but keep his own troops safe.
@@godemperorofmankind3.091 robbs two fatal mistakes killing karstark and marrying Talisa/jayne westerling. Shit politician that he was, he probably would have won if he didn't make those mistakes
@@lynchiestlynch5442 he could have spared karstark and married the Frey girl and STILL lost and died. they didnt provide him that much men. the new Lannister-Tyrell alliance had more. way more. also the main reasons Roose turned on him was because of Stannis losing at Blackwater Bay and the loss of Winterfell.
See, the problem here is you played *the wrong Stark*! To make this work, you've got to pick Jon. From there you take Stannis' offer and press your claims HARD. Take every opportunity. Backstab Robb? Sure! Wait, I'm a Targ and that gives me claims on the Iron Throne? Deus Fucking VULT! Daenerys is my aunt, you say? *Time to murder her husband and marry that woman*! Once you're there (and trust me, the fight will be long and arduous, relying on more than a touch of RNG in your favour) you can establish the Stark-Targaryen dynasty, gaining the benefits of the Targ/Valyrian unique features *while still technically also being a Stark*, at which point you're set to 'cest into the sunset until the game times out. You'll have to deal with the whole 'Targaryens are either brilliant or insane' problem but compared to this? Yeah, setting it up is the hard part rather than keeping it going.
Daenerys is barren in-game and in-series and in-book
@@ABAlphaBeta That's funny, 'cos I swear I made this happen one time. Maybe it was an earlier, less complete version of the mod? *shrugs*
@@MrMortull If you complete her entire questline you can have a child with her, but IIRC you have to be her
@@ABAlphaBeta Wasn't it the witch that hated her and then she burned her at the stake that told Daenerys that she was pregnant and she never even thought of having someone give her a second opinion?
@@floppydisksareop True, but in the books, all the prophecies she gave her were fulfilled. Plus, at the end of Dance she has something that fans think might have been a miscarriage, while she is walking around the Dothraki sea. So she technically could get pregnant now.
Lancel and a dothraki woman. That feeds my fanfiction.
Valefisk: *commits many war crimes and inexcusable acts in war games* Also Valefisk: *His limits are incest*
Best/Worst Alternate Universe scenario for A Song of Ice and Fire Created by Valefisk, 2019
Still better than Season 8
Crusader kings 2: Targaryn boogaloo
6:27 "I can just feel my knee, it's bending on it's own" *Instantly subscribes and turns notifications on*
You know Vale, this was a surprisingly low-incest video. Come on, you've got standards to keep up! :D
Just a typical day in Westeros, move along now
I'm guessing you're off to kill more goblins?
"Incest only?" I thought incest _was_ the only way to play this game.
"How outnumbered can we b-- oh shit." 😂😂😂😂
omg!!! me and my friends were watching the previous video and minutes later you drop THIS. Hilarious, thank you for existing
4:20 "How are you supposed to win this war?" Well, not at all. Robb Stark died a hideous death, remember? :D
wrong. Robb's campaign in CK2 is easily won if you play your cards right. all the things limiting Robb in the books, you can just not do in the game.
"I mean, the point is incest, that's why we're here." -Valefisk, 2019
New GoT canon.
During my game Jaime got turned into a white walker.
everyone loves the starks, and everyone loves some stark incest.... which is smth i wish i never learned about the fandom, yet here we are.
"I hate this." Sure.
9:30 What are you talking about, the guilt will just make it even better Aren't there a saying, "incest is the spice of life"
Looking at that weeb pfp Oh! Oh, no!
I guess it's a little bit harder to commit atrocities when you know who you're doing it to.
I'm glad it failed. Ned would roll over in His Grave if he knew what you're trying to do.
You get my like just for the fact that stannis became king,
Last time I did a play through like yours I found a similar problem with them not having children.. So I checked in the files and saw that incest has some nasty hidden fertility modifiers that drops fertility for most characters close to 0.. I belief it was like -50 fertility or something.. So the moment they get any of the "incest" traits then they are pretty much instantly infertile.. If you want to do something like this your first gotta have to manually remove those hidden modifiers to make it a lot easier for yourself.. Or you can install the mod "divine marriages".. I tried it and it removes the modifiers for you after you pick the 'divine marriage" reform option.. And it reduces the chance of traits like inbred and such..
Please make more of these! They're hilarious to watch!
Nobody: Literally no one: KZhead recommendations @2am:
If its good enough for Targaryens its good enough for me.
5:10 Stannis! STANNIS! STANNNIS!!!
George RR Martin is gonna copyright strike you
I just clicked a video and look away then i hear "oh its Arya" in a surprised WarCrimer voice
"I mean how outnumbered can we b-ohshit."
He we go again with the family circle
Oh look, it's my favorite anime's new season!
Better writing than what actually happened in season 8
Dude, this is like the entire show
PLEASE DO MORE OF THESE TYPES OF VIDEOS, ITS HILARIOUS!!!
The first time I played Lancel got the throne too, I think he was meant to be king
I watched your first video on CK2 yesterday, thought it was funny. Today I proceeded to do this exact same thing for fun without even knowing you had done this video yet LOL.
This is the best content on KZhead
You just described Game of Thrones in one video.
When you've never watched nor read Game of Thrones nor do you have any interest to, you're just here because you like Crusader Kings and this guy is funny.
Need to click on the check box for family members to only get married at you command. It is just under their picture when you left click on them.
I learned about the Lord's Right when I was like 9 or something in a history book I got for my birthday. My learning of the existence of something like that completely changed my worldview
It isn't a real historical practice. I have seen multiple people disprove this longstanding idea Though let's not kid ourselves, lots of nobleman probably cucked commoners in a less official and more standard mannner
now we know Lancel Lannister will emerge victorious by the end of season 8
ceuzi gotta use an older version of Ck2
this is way more entertaining then it has any right to be
This is a goldmine of quotable moments
The video has better story telling than season 8 did
So Sansa killed her husband and then went back to Winterfell. Awesome.
"Ah shit here we go again"
Didn't name Robb's and Sansa's baby "Ned" 1/10
Parents: You were named after your grandfather Child: My paternal or maternal? Parents: *YES*
At this point I think that the game can hear you
Lolol that laugh/shudder at 5:54. Just subbed BTW. Hello.
"If we don't get a son, the game ends". Yes, yes it does.
Seduce Arya has kidnof a new meaning now
This whole video was like a rule34 gone wrong
Valefisk: I can do this Lannisters: hahahaha
You've failed us Vale, the spirits after unhappy with you
Game of Thrones browse game ad pops-up before the video... Nice KZhead... Nice...
This is next-level fanfic writing.
Don't blame me dude I voted targaryen
Please, do more of this! I love it! Sorry, for my inglish, i am not very good...
The first seven minutes are like: "Oh fuck." "Oh. fuck!" "OH FUCK!"
Huge concept bro
My deeek is rocking hard the whole game, the old god has abandoned me
Glad to see another of these I mean what
The perfect sequel
This is more Game of Thrones than Game of Thrones
I just litteraly got an add on god damn Game of Thrones browser game when this video started
This was almost as painful to watch as the finale of season 8
I've seen a few attempts at the "incest only" playthrough of CK2. Let me just say that I've never seen them end well.
To maximize children with seduction, you have to pick the love and leave option. It allows you to immediately try and seduce again, with each success giving a high chance of pregnancy. If you keep the relationship going, turning them into a lover, there is only a small chance of pregnancy (especially if you're not around, like leading armies).
So a midway comment to the video, the south is busy doing war while the north is preoccupied by having a taste of the family pie.
Goddamn, the Kingslayer lives up to his name
This is a great introduction to Game of Thrones XD
Bro i saw this video and downloaded the mod wanting so badly to play Stannis and take the Iron Throne. Then he just takes it in this video. OMFG.