demonitze gang roll up
Join the Discord: / discord
Find Me At:
Twitter: / valefisk
Twitch: www.twitch.com/valefisk
SUGGESTION BOX BOYS!:
goo.gl/forms/6q9l9NkWGBpJZEWH3
Crusader Kings II
==================Source Credit Stuff=======================
Production Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound: www.epidemicsound.com
Royalty Free Music by audiomicro.com/royalty-free-music
Sound Effects by audiomicro.com/sound-effects
========================================================
#ck2#gaming#memes
can i get an f in chat for all these unfortunate children
f
f
F
F for all the messed up genes messing with these children
F
Imagine attending the funeral when his wife dies and say these words “I’ve lost a wife and a sister”
Lol
And a mother, and an aunt
I’ve lost a wife, a mother, a daughter, my father and my dog at the same time. Yet, only one person died.
'I feel your pain Uncle Cousin Brother Grandad'
So you guys are saying that's weird outside of Alabama???
_When that cute princess winked at you but you are a prince and both live in the same castle._ *Sweet home Estonia.*
LMFAO
I see nothing wrong with th- sorry, got to go... Sister's already waiting in the bed... instaud.io/1shk
Da na na an naew
No
@@apatheticeye6955 _Yes brother_
When you are confused whether the affair is happening with your daughter, sister, or mother
or with your dog or cat wev all been there
Incest netorare, INCEST NETORARE
our names seem similar
What if they are all the same person?
I hope somone takes this out of context
Of course Kosk thought they were his, the family resemblance was so strong
lol
Oddly enough, like father like son, in more ways then one. (:
Oh that's good
This whole ass comment section man.... goddamn.
@@expensivemagic4754😊😊ñ😊😊ññ😊😊ñ😊😊😊ñ😊ñ😊😅😊ñ😊ñ😅😊ñ😊😊😊ñ😊ñ😊😊😊😊😊ñ😊😊ññ😊😊ñ😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
"She's humble, she's charitable...she's a lunatic..."
she's a NICE crazy lady :)
“PELICANS EATING MY BRAIN BLARGAHAGHAGH...care for tea?”
“We don’t do the reverse cowgirl here, because you don’t turn your back on family!”
why
"*family*" -Dom Torreto
Two years before it actually became a wide spread meme. A prophet to be sure
Nooooooooooo
7:06 omg one of the options is “vidi, vici, veni” which means “I saw, I conquered, and I came” I CAAAAN’T WITH THIS CHALLENGE
Yeah, the folks at Paradox are _real_ good with their one-liners.
Umm I'm no Latin expert but is int that backwards? is it not suppose to be "Veni, vidi, vici"
Schmitty yeah that’s the one everyone knows but they were trying to make a joke here so they switched haha
@@schmitty5461 Veni Vidi Vici means "I came, I saw, I conquered" They flipped it around to "Vidi vici veni" which means "I saw, I conquered, I came" It's a dirty joke for nerds.
NO WAY
The king: Is that my sister, wife or daughter? Family tree: Yes
Family wreath*
it's all of them
ah, i see estonia is finally receiving public attention... ...wait
Hey, it's because of the holy sites
but at what cost?
Naramitzas *they have hope but we have INCEST*
I want to like but it's at 666 likes
Isnt this what Estonia is normally like
*Targaryen and Habsburg Houses wants to know your location*
Ptolemy and Rothschild would also like to have a word.
@@rsync9490 The Rothschild's showed me, that incest IS wincest.
@@Rickuo They have an... Austrian Branch
*Kraster34 is only 3 miles away*
"there are hot sisters in your area"
When you have a crush on a girl in class but you're home schooled.
Even worse *your the teacher*
@@mightygeneral4359you’re*
I think Alabama has been trying to do this challenge for a while.
Profile pic checks out
the jewish community has been living up to this challenge for millennia
Pakistan*
I’m sorry but Jews don’t f*ck their cousins. The Torah (old testament) is where Christian ideas regarding incest come from.
@@Warrior4Bsoft I think you mean Muslims.
“Oh, my sister’s pregnant again!” “Oh, we have a daughter!” ... wait
Dude: My sister just texted me and said she is pregnant! Crowd: Yeah *clapping* Dude: I'm gonna be a dad!!! Crowd: 😲
@KAIDO OF THE BEAST IKR. I love that video
llol
@@piergiorgiocaroli9201 did you saw that tiktok
Niece daughter?
" *We don't got a family tree, we got a family wreath!* "
As a person from Alabama, I find this joke funny. And no, I don't fuck people I'm related to.
Little do people know, there is only two family's in Alabama
Despite what you said implying an inversion.
@@mattfabz I was just trying to be as confusing as possible, seems it worked, because even I have no idea what I said.
@@nullpoint3346 you most certainly succeeded at making yourself look ignorant
'Where I united Ireland and married my way into the center of the Holy Empire' As an Irish person I wanna announce you as our new Emperor.
No the Irish have Irish as emporers
Ben Keane Yeah, I heard they had a High-King (not a high King) back in the days. But that was way before Otto I. founded the Holy Roman Empire.
Inbred taiga
Yes
Fhjthnl Lol Iuyo Keep your union to yourselves!
*Several generations of incestous relationships* "i think we can call this a success for now." Egypt would be proud of you, Pharao
They didn't actually commit incest: the brother-sister marriages were ceremonial only. Some dynasties still ended up inbred, but that was a consequence of the nobles marrying each other and then marrying into the royal family. brother-sister incest generally gets you nada irl.
@@sophiejones7727 yeah...... the ptolemy dynasty was notoriously inbred.
@@jamesprice6605 they actually did as weird way to legitimize themselves as pharaohs, probably also to avoid splintering their holdings with gavelkind successions.
When you look at the stats, the areas with the highest cases of inbreeding is in the middle east.
@@kwazooplayingguardsman5615 A little misleading, the Middle East has the highest rates of consanguinity in the world, not inbreeding. Although consanguinity is basically the result of inbreeding so I guess whatever.
16:30 - The tribes of Brandenburg have converted to the Sunni faith. What
Sultanat of Bavaria Wait what !?
how the fuck did i never notice that...
also, although i never showed it, they actually formed Germany too
The sultan of Bavaria.... WHAT?
@@HannibalUvvU sounds appropriate.
Family tree? Family circle? More like a family tumbleweed.
The family genome
Family spiral
Strait lines down
Lmao
Family mesh
no one: youtube recomendations:
I REGRET NOTHING
Well actually he said there was a pole vote for this.
I like how the likes on this comment is 404...too bad that I'm going to end it :v
You know that youtube recomendations are based on your internet activity?
@@robloxxd5367 Hey hey hey! we dont talk about this
So the daughter has two kids with the father and names them both after her parents... How sweet!
Im surprised the child didn't come out as a Horse, For one of my games we appointed a Horse as the Anti-pope, overthrew the real Pope and then it turned out the horse like to eat people and suddenly me and my friends were hunted down by a magical horse pope called Glitterhoof Benedict 1st
Uhhhhmm
R/ThatHappened
Wonderful.
Hmmm. Not enough incest
Thracian Horse I see 🤔
This challenge is about incest. "I want this guy to aspire to what I, in real life can't have." 2:46
well
I interpreted something and I now wish to uninterpret it
That's taken out of context. That said, it's much funnier this way.
A select few children of the family were auctioned off to 85 year old men for diplomatic purposes, or forced to marry a young, immature prince and join his several wives in order to increase political stability between regions. *_They were the lucky ones_*
Yeah, welcome to history lol
Most Ruler's Family Trees: A mile long. Valefisk's in game Family Tree: A mile wide. Mine: BOTH.
Hol up
@@brendencooper5154 easy peasy, change your laws to allow succession by both genders and do matrilineal marriage for all female heirs and you can end up with that.
Sweeeeeet Home
Two people need to take away thier likes
Wa da hell
The second option with the centaur was: Why am I in the stables? It was no hallucination. The centaur was a ... horse. You had a son with a horse, congratulation. So not only incest, but zoophilia as well. Nice family you got there.
I knew that horses can do that with donkeys, but damn, humans? CK2 surprises you every time I guess
Marek Stefański ck2 is a wild wild game. From appointing horses as cabinet members to regrowing limbs if you pray and sacrifice enough to the devil, you can do anything.
Nah, it might as well be meant as that she was fucked by a stableman whom she, being a lunatic, mistook for a centaur.
@@mirurururuvein I mean, that's my realistic interpretation of it. Even though Glitterhoof is a thing, he's still got -1000% fertility, so I doubt having children with horses is a thing in the game. Then again you have magic and immortality so what do I know
Estonians, what can I say.
"You're clones are impressive. You should be proud"
Can’t expect perfection from every clone, some have typing issues
Magnificent are they.
Cantaur Fett helped a lot
"My accursed Brother-Husband confronted me!" Also, the title you're looking for at 17:30 is Sister-Aunt.
This just in: Kosk fancies his sister-niece-adopteddaughter
To be precise, half sister, niece, and daughter-in-law.
Only in Crusader Kings 2! Or is it also in CK1? Like I know the first game is usually the least feature-filled, but Paradox is also known for generally downgrading the next games to add the missing parts as DLC years later and discarding the more complex stuff(like HoI3 research) altogether, sooo...
This is some funny stuff
*Laughs In Police Sirens*
You show up on a lot of CK2 videos
@@MrLogan2600 he or she shows up everywhere tbh i feel like that search for shit like this that they can make a comment on and get those likes
"What would you do if you were in a room full of everyone you've ever had sex with? " tell me about it. I hate family reunions. " **JAZZ MUSIC STOPS**
*BANJO MUSIC STARTS*
"The line must remain pure." LOL
>I united Ireland >Screenshots shows he's not owning Northern Ireland *IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION*
*Laughs in Margaret Thatcher*
@@tommyscott8511imageproxy.ifcdn.com/crop:x-20,resize:320x,crop:x800,quality:90x75/images/cf6fd2de3b197d76d899b5d1134ba28e5869e29ff1fa0963ec4e1ec69587e4f4_1.jpg
*Laughs in car bombing.*
Uvf
Yes!!
The family tree is more Roots than tree.
Reminds me of your family tbh
god im gonna steal that
it's family moss
family weed
Don't you mean rotten?
"My grandfather is my father and my great uncle."
Many, many years ago when I was 23 I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life For now my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife And to complicate the matter even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad And so he became my uncle though it mad me very sad For if he were my uncle that would also made him brother Of the widows grown-up daughter who was of course my stepmother Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue Because although she is my wife she's my grandmother two Now if my wife is my grandmother then I'm her grandchild And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild 'Cause now I have become the strangest case you ever saw As husband of my grandmother I am my own grandpaw
I need a family tree for this, man. Amazing job tho.
@@hitsugatatsuro9978 this isnt mine. It's a song from an episode of the Muppets called "im my own grandpa." look it up. There are several videos of it
@@hitsugatatsuro9978 I've just been waiting for a chance to post it somewhere
@@theex-authoritarian3745 Haha, ayt ayt. I've never heard of this. Really dodgy content for a kids.show tbh, but it's awesome nonetheless.
@@theex-authoritarian3745 Thanks for sharing!
The CK2 eugenics program is in full swing i see
Jepp
"im your sister, for kuu's sake".... "the virtue is strong in this one". Yup..
When you look up your family tree and it goes backwards
Omg💀
The various screencaps of people recounting their experiences playing this game failed to convince me to purchase this game. This video, in the first ten minutes, has succeeded. Good show, sir.
Blood so pure you can take it to church. Which you did... Repeatedly.
15:45 *she's humble, she's charitable. . . She's a lunatic* 🤣
your basic waifu
@Undiscovered Nacho 🤣
So you recreated Europes actual history. Nice work!
In europe only royals were inbred
@@eugenisttechnocrat669 would probably depends on how close said cousin is to you genetically
Eugenist Technocrat Found the guy from Alabama
Coefficient of Inbreeding: (Percent chance of genetic defects) Father/daughter- 25% Mother/son- 25% Brother/sister- 25% Half-brother/half-sister- 12.5% Uncle/niece- 12.5% Aunt/nephew- 12.5% First cousins- 6.25%
What's the percentage if all of those are the same person?
Isaiah Moorehead for comparison, Virve Rivala (14:50) is the daughter of a father/daughter relationship, with her mother being born from a brother/sister relationship. Virve’s inbreeding coefficient would be 50% inbred, which explains her many, many problems.
This is blatantly false(in reality) lmao
@@jacobhines5583 His talking about in-game debuffs / bad traits wich u can get from inbreeding... In realty u have 400% higher chance to be born with < 70iq / genetic disorders... ^^
What would identical twins be?
*Has his son marry his sister* "I don't like this, I really don't like what I'm doing!" Vale, buddy, are you trying to convince us, or yourself? :^)
@Prime Megalodon I disagree
Sometimes that's just how the game goes. In CK2 AGOT I was playing as Aegon the Conquerer and my daughter was married to my eldest son but kept having bastards with my youngest son until the eldest went insane and died. So then I married my daughter after my sister wives died and had 3 kids with her lmao
@@KingBrandonm Honestly sister sagging isn't all that bad, idk why you people continue to fuss about.
@@GEXGE11 my daughter was married to my eldest son, my issue is that she was cheating on him with my youngest. I had all these grand designs and I raised the eldest to rule. Gave him Blackfyre and my daughter Dark Sister. Then when my younger son took the throne the whole fucking seven kingdoms shattered with every kingdom declaring independence from the throne. Aegon spent so much time and effort unifying the kingdoms, he even brought Dorne in with zero bloodshed. Then he spent over 50 years solidifying alliances and raising his eldest to rule. He died of depression at age 74.
Roses are red 12 is a dozen Royal family created by marrying cousins
But the royal family never made it to 12...
The ones that survived married at that age
King: *kills wife!* King: *has children with daughter* King: Getth Næ Næd
You're being awfully harsh on Kosk. I mean, the kid WOULD resemble *him*
And so the Targaryen bloodline was formed
Still better then the ptolemy dynasty
nope, it's and so first valyrian bloodline was formed. behold of House Revalaryen of Valyria
Sees polygamy "OH No" Viewers "Oh YES!"
I have wanted to see someone playing with my tiny country... But not like this... xD
Shenryyr has a playthrough
Not like theese….not like theese.
If it pleases you, one of my favourite campaigns was with Estonia 25 years after starting I reformed the religion with the feature Bloodthirsty Gods and a warmongering nature. I sacrificed a whole lot of prisoners and at some points I started to mass sacrifice my population to gain the favours of the God for the Flower War I started against the Swedish (who conquered a great deal of Finland) and I won and sacrificed the Swedish nobility to the gods. In this world Estonia is synonymous with barbarity and violence and children everywhere are scared with stories of how the Estonians will kill them and eat their heart for their gods if they don't -Finnish- finish their soup. Happy ?
I suspect that was actually happening in Albania....I mean good gods who names their kid "Zog"??????? As in the last King of Albania.
I'm trying to make an Estonian merchant republic.
16:57 xD this is why incest is just the best thing in fiction. it always leads to confusion and that gets insanely funny
Too bad SJW's think it is "normalizing" actual incest.
@@Kimikachu22 SJW's probably would thing The Producers is nazi propaganda and hate speech, nevermind that it is quite the opposite and Mel Brooks is a Jew.
"incest is just the best thing in fiction" Oh, God.
Please give me the title of the book that has this, I want to laugh
Country roads, take me home! To the place, where I belong! North Estonia! Mount Your Mama! Take me home! Country roads!
I think In this it would be “mount your mama” Did I really just fucking type that
@@sketchyirishman8975 Yes. Yes you did.
Stop.
@@sketchyirishman8975 I'm screaming and I can't tell if it's from laughter or horror.
Bear Van Helsing if you’re anything like me it’s a bit of both
Estonia is the Alabama of Europe
Nejtro Habsburgs not Augsburgs lol
@Nejtro according to this game, he is probably "kotting" his sister
More like Saarland in Germany
"For this guys ambition, I want him to aspire for what I can't have" *Plots to turn his family tree into a family circle*
*Husband returns home from scheming* His wife: "Honey! Good news! I've had another child... I named him after your father."
*Our father
Alternate Title:Making my family tree a family wreath
Estonia, commonly known for being one of the great Eastern European innovators for technology and anti-corruption practice. In Crusader Kings II, it's where you can get incest quick.
It's considered northern Europe. All of the baltics are.
@@user-pi8pd9wc5y Only Estonia considers themself northern, Latvia and Lithuania have more ties to Eastern Europe
@@stenlohmus7766 Isn't the Estonian language not Slavic at all? I thought it was closer to Finnish than to any Slavic language.
@@pureevil6047 Yeah Estonian is part of the Finno-Urgic branch not Slavic or Baltic(they are both descended from Proto Baltic-Slavic)
@@stenlohmus7766 so... just as the finns estonian are not nordic germans but nordic hungarians?
17:32 I think the phrase you're looking for is "sister-niece-daughter-in-law"
Ah yes, the great Kingdom of Karen. So that's where they all come from.
Jesus the royal family is undergoing mitosis
Lot, from Sodom and Gomorrah: You called me?
I almost did a spit take
Z
Kyla Mamber 2
Ukko you mean
I got a Game of Thrones advertisement before the video... Well played Google
Ymir the Primordial you’re gonna get some weird ass ads lol
same here, those ads have been everywhere recently but at least it's fitting now
Isn't there a mod or DLC wich you can play with GoT charcaters?
"united Ireland" you have a like Sir! "married my way into the Holy Roman Empire" You have an Irish Sub Sir!
Crusader Kings II - Habsburg Edition
Sounds like regular CKII to me. ;D
Virva Revala was the kings sister; daughter in law; and niece Well done i would say
Not sure if coincidence, but... Estonian is part of the finno-ugric language group, closely related to Finnish, the two of which to foreigners are virtually indistinguishable. Revala, or as it's nowadays known, Tallinn, can be literally translated into Cunt town/city from Reva (cunt) and -la suffix denoting a place of something. So having an incestuous bitch going all the ways named like this is simply perfection.
@@mursuhillo242 Really? Did not know Reva meant that lul. Have always known Revala was one of the names for Tallinn. Makes me see cafes etc. with the name Revala differently now haha
mursuhillo A more legitimate etymology is actually sth like ‘place of foxes/fox color’. There is this Estonian word ‘rebu’ (egg yolk) and ‘rebane’ (fox) might be an adjective form of it as, in their natural form, these things have roughly the same color. (Free hens who have eaten certain bugs or worms produce orange yolks.) Another possible etymology is from the word ‘räbal’ (rag; bad, shabby)... Revala/Rävala has reached us through Germanic sources, anyway. So it’s hard to tell. Repola in Karelia seems to have the same etymology and we can be more sure about it. It seems to be a quite usual Fenno-Ugric toponym. Plus, in the area of ancient Revala, there is also Rebala village nowadays.
Got an ad for a game of thrones mobile app before the video, never felt more appropriate.
Jaime_irl
The family that lays together, stays together.
Turn up the ingame volume. I can't hear it over the police sirens. Do headphones help?
69.. nice
The Lannisters sends their regards.
*chuckles in Ptolemaic
Game of Thrones has nothing on this
@@Rickuo *Giggles Habsburgishly...
TheEthanGamer That face when your dad tries to marry you right as you leave the womb
Others: manage to create unbelievable things like incestuous marriage and converting the pope into a satanist Me: dies on third generation Clearly I don't know anything about this game
Start small and just colonize the British Isles as an Indian ruler.
@@doomyboi I could even pass the third generation lol
You see, I'd say the same thing but 90% of the time my runs are ended by something like my children being pushed off a cliff 3 times in a row, as soon as they take the throne, leading to the immediate loss of all of my heirs and a game over
@@tenacity25 That's what concubines/polygamy is for - if you don't fuck your way across Europe you're not even trying. Few hundreads years in and not only your family is pure, whole goddamn land is pure, even if some don't realise it
@@Molochors so literally the only defense against the RNG is to go forth and multiply? And get all your family married with as many wives as possible and seduce those too?
all i'm gonna say is that this could be the plot for an RPGMaker hentai game... and no, i am not proud of myself for knowing that
*raises finger, lowers finger*
Time to learn how to program.
This is pretty much the plot of quite a few renpy games. I will still never understand why.
Tough times man, tough times.
Zero001 I hate myself for knowing exactly what you’re talking about
"I don't like this!" He giggles with glee and obvious excitement. "I don't like this at all!" :D
"United ireland" I see those blue counties.
Now if you only had mod with dragons in it...you'll get sued by HBO.
AGOT mod; already done
I've had this in my watch later for literally years and I'm so glad to finally be watching it
I haven't laughed that hard in a while. You sir, get a like and a sub.
Graduated from war crimes to straight up crimes against humanity I see
Still waiting for human experimentation
This is next level hentai lmao. Tags include: Incest, NTR, Disabled, Aheago, Medieval, Dirty old bastard, Mental disability etc..
+1 for Hemophilia lmao
THIS VIDEO, of all things, is what got me into CK2. i now have 3500 hours. thanks valefisk, for making a video about incest
10:46 that genuine shock 😂
"Incest only challenge" aka regular gameplay of crusader kings 2
FBI OPEN UP!!!!! Valiefisk: "Ah, our sister is finally of age, it begins!! FBI: "......"
This Divine breeding created Caligula.
Tbh they were already pretty idiot if they took the Caesarian divinity thing that serious to begin with. Fun fact, Octavian was adopted, though he was blood kin to Julius Caesar, and his sucessor was also adopted as he was his wife's son that he also adopted as his own. The original Caesars were actually geniuses who used legalese to ensure their successor was the most capable, often to the detriment of their own blood.
Gotta keep that bloodline pure... Time to turn the family tree into a family circle.
The line stayed pure. Just as tainted by the end, as it was at the beginning.
'Ello DaggerMcPerson! How goes the fort?
Why are you making a documentary about Alabama?
You mean Arabia
You mean the every Muslim country
@@Rickuo Basically.
I think you mean the entire south, not just Alabama.
@@Deranfan entire south hemisphere?
In 20 hours and you have all that knowledge or this game?
Kugelblitz Pretty sure I’ve summed up 20 hours trying to get past the second tutorial step.
Right, I just got the game, played all day and have no clue wtf I'm doing 🤣
This is the best quality content I could ever ask for. Subscribed.
"Historically Accurate." 10/10
The Sultan of Bavaria likes that
@@maximilianfranz2158 Sultan of Bavaria?? Geography: 6
@@mr.hierkonnteihrewerbungst8555 Humor? 6, setzen!
@@maximilianfranz2158 Langeweile? 1+
@@mr.hierkonnteihrewerbungst8555 Schlagfertigkeit? 1+ mit Sternchen
vidi, vici, veni must be one of the nerdiest jokes ever. I've never had that and played a lot of CK2
Me: *sees title* Oh well this will be hilarious (turns out gritty and horrifying) Me: HOW DID HISTORY EVER HAPPEN!?
"So the first thing we're gonna do, is immediately plot to kill our wife." lol
this was the least weird thing in the whole video
In this episode, the Estonian royalty turns their family tree into a family wreath.
Southerners and Habsburgs, the most overpowered faction ever.
No, the most overpowered incest faction is the Rothschild dynasty. The Rothschild's really show you how you make incest into wincest.
"a success" yeah okay valefisk, it is your show you can call it what you want.
I came over here after watching the spiffing brit play CK2 and I love it. Because of you both I love this game so much and get to laugh so hard while being stuck at home doing my own challenges.
After seeing the poll results, I’m proud of this community. Sort of?
16:37 technically he isn't having an affair with his daughter, he is having an affair with his half sister/niece. Edit: aight you thought about it lol
This excuse already worked fir your parents so why not
roninn same goes to your quotation marks.
@roninn It's actually like this, "Proper Quotation Marks."
@roninn Apologies, I didn't know other countries did it differently.
roninn understandable, have a nice day.
Me shouting in my head "sister-niece-stepdaughter!"
When I’m feeling sad, I sometimes watch these videos to make me laugh. Thank you Mr Fishie.