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===LINKS===
THE REALISTIC GAME OF LIFE: steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Patreon: / valefisk
Twitter: / valefisk
Twitch: www.twitch.com/valefisk
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00:00 Introduction
03:18 Extra Notes
03:38 PAIN TIME
01:16:28 Outro
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#pain#gaming#valefisk
We laugh, but chamber WILL buy Seraphine skins
Roply
People who buy jhin skins 👁️👄👁️
based
based
Based on
I flew too close to the sun with my league career but safely landed in a pile of shit
Time traveller
We now know that Vale’s “friends” get to watch Vale’s videos before us RATS.
What Seraphine skin did you end up buying?
The fact you went from league player to shit fetishist is fucking incredible for a storyline.
league to shit pipeline aka the jobbie trolley
Maivi feels like she's less a victim and more an accomplice at this point
She’s just Amanda from SAW
She is specifically the one who drags everyone else in to Vale's games.
She just is
And we love her for it
and it’s so funny
What this game is missing is houses. Every turn you lose money paying rent until you buy a house. Then you get in massive mortgage debt until you sell your house for a lot less then what you bought it for due to the housing market crashes
Oh yeah
Ah yes, the imminent "housing market crash"
yes because the housing market never crashes.@@AnotherFunnyLittleGuy
@@hamr1741it doesn't if your time frame is anything more than half a decade The only people that got hurt in 2008 are morons that where over leveraged up their ass Housing is entirely fool proof as long as you can actually afford the mortgage You have to be incredibly financially incompetent to lose money with property lmao
dont forget property tax
this was supposed to be a realistic game but in the end everybody pay their college debt and more than half of the players became millionaires
By gambling and playing league, anything is possible.
I mean, is more realistic than your regular game of life for sure, but clearly it needs: Taxes Child related costs due to parenting Partner related costs due to marriage (maybe not as needed for the most part) Overall living costs (do i think taxes covers this one) Car maintenance related costs Insurance costs I think that would be what's missing for the most part? That way it'll be truly realistic, and those with kids will truly experience what is like to have kids and how that affects Your bank account, while everyone will be constantly against the clock and in constant debt due to the taxes, insurance, and car maintenance.
@@andresf.7563 And then losing half your wages for child support after the other parent files for divorce and the court rules against you for arbitrary reasons.
@@sik3xploitdon’t forget the increase in economy! And national pandemics, the way the market increases and job salaries stay the same, inflation etc…. Sigh.
I feel like the gambler should also be balanced by having way more dice rolls than the other jobs. Like, if the gambler lands/crosses Payday, they need to roll a die, and if it’s a 6 they get all the money, 2-5 it’s half or some percent of the money, and 1 they lose money or don’t get paid.
Lynx deserves an Oscar for his gambler roleplay
Roleplay?
You can’t get an Oscar if you’re not acting
You can't win an oscar for a autobiography.
Roleplay?
He was the gambler on the train bound for Dover.
I notice that Maivi is consistently the only person who Vale warns ahead of time. It's a good thing Vale has a collaborator like that, someone who can lull their other -victims- friends into a false sense of security before Vale reveals his master plan.
Vale is training her emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader style
Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every great green gender is a great Goblin.
Maivi makes a great subjects for the development of Stockholm syndrome
nah shes the judas goat, the one that leads the other ones into the slaughterhouse, but is themself fine afterwards
Every great con needs a great accomplice.
What Vale should have done is make the Gambler job a non-College and College job, just for that extra realism
I mean going to college is already a gamble on its own, so there wouldn’t be a need to add a profession of “gambler” as you’ve already have all the negative effects from it.
@@Burning_Marshmallow Many College Students turn to gambling to “pay” off their debt. That’s why such change would be for the sake of realism, not gameplay purposes.
It also should’ve been riskier, where you can lose the job just like the trust fund baby and possibly also go into inescapable debt. That way it’s a TRUE gamble. Would love to see a sequel where you have to pay for your child(ren)’s tuition or not, with cards reflecting both (like one becomes a bum and wastes their tuition, or they make it as an entrepreneur and disowns you if you gave preferential tuition to other children). It should be like insane monopoly-levels of torture.
@@chinsaw2727 That does make a lot of sense. It would be funny to see someones already horrible debt double a couple of times just to break even at the very end, while still being in debt.
@@kugelblitzkrieg I think instead you should have the option to quit the gambling job; no true gambler will ever lose it beyond their control
Massive respect to M0 for not ragequitting an hour into his run
how did you post this before the video released
@@liam.28patreon early access
@@ddunfuh9239 ok
@@liam.28 Pure skill.
Man I swear you people are too stupid to remember patreon exists@@liam.28
I saw them scheming on tabletop while I was getting my food manager's certification; little did I know this is what they were getting up to.
you're lucky you weren't dragged in
Yeah you probably should be glad you weren’t a part of this one.
Fun test right
Q errar Q bush
As a latrine pit inspector in Aberdeen who makes £2,000 a year, I can confirm this is the happiest job on Earth.
And you can work at home!
Really good hours, too!
@@battadia Don’t forget about the random $1 (even though I get paid in pounds) bonuses. Makes work so much more exciting!
If this is actually your job, I’m sorry if this is really rude, but why? Is 2000 pounds a lot where you live? I’m very confused. Sorry if this comes off as ignorant.
@@Atellas it’s a joke, all is well :)
You can make this worse by giving anyone on the college path a Midterm test. They have 30 mins to answer obscure questions like "What is Valefisk's most popular video?" and "How many cubic centimeters are in a football field?"
Make it a paradox quiz show
“I Made A Board Game To Torture People” and idk.
Wait cubic? No way they make you find the volume of a field
Question 2 would be 0, as a football field is a plane
Which kind of football?
Thanks Vale for mentioning me
Had pneumonia in college, completely decked me and really limited what I could do for a long while without becoming incredibly exhausted. All the best to you feeling better January.
Please feel better soon! Praying for your recovering
Feel better soon x
lets fucking go
Get well soon my man
At this point of Vale's career, the most psychological torturing thing to do would be to make a normal game and see everyone freaking out thinking what the catch
Omg yeah, he actually makes(coding or not) a fair game that has been play tested and just invites some of his normal victims(Lynx, Maivi, Chamber, Candy, Soll, Virtial, etc) and watches the chaos ensue
I think they played a normal game of Diplomacy, it's just that Teddy was in a life threatening situation
@@tundcwe123but Vale didn't make that so it's more believable that it's normal than if he did
@@tundcwe123 Normal Diplomacy is already a torture game.
Stop, you might give him an idea.
Despite how insane this version of LIFE is, it seems relatively well balanced. No one ended the game in debt, and most of you got into the millionaire manor.
Also more fun than the real game
As a German I have never seen a happy or married train driver so I can confirm everything in this video
Saying that Vale made an unfair game is like saying Beethoven composed a song, Picasso drew a painting or Stalin sent a person to a gulag. It doesn't really narrow it down much.
Drawed
drawed sounds so wrong
@@DecisionsRQuestionable I believe the proper form would be "has/had drawn". Drew is somethin' people say but I think thats one of the american "improper" past tenses like Sung/Sang.
I've corrected it to "drew". English is not my first language and I wrote the comment without thinking about it too much.
He painted it you troglodyte
Can't belive lynx is surprised that vale lied about the lenght of something involving tabletop sim lmfao
also holy shit this is probably the funniest video yet im in tears at m0 flunking out and earning 6 shilling
Teddy’s character arc from trust fund baby to league player is fucking insane
the fact there is no "buy home" option makes it so much more realistic! :D
It's not my fault i came in last, My train got delayed. God i love DB
i do gotta ask are they known for bad trains
The trains are not bad mostly but they're late, really really late... It's a good meme in germany but in general it's just sad @@naenaemister5048
@@naenaemister5048 nah their trains are amazing their compliance with the timetable however is not
although when i was in germany back in 2008 i've been told the exact opposite, that they had it to seconds
@@ser_igelI’ve been to Germany this August and I can tell you that the DB has an incredible network with a less than good timetable management
I cant believe Vale rigged the game, trying to show how gamblers will never beat an honest career, absolutely scandalous
A trust-fund baby who eventually played League professionally? Even gambling is more honest than that... 😂
@@BaronVonMott Gambling takes a lot more skill too.
@@jaeusa160considering he plays on the lcs you are not wrong
@@jaeusa160 he was more rounder than gambler tbh
The proof that Maivi did the art is that there were no spontaneous popups saying that art is Vale’s passion.
The fact that the trust fund baby won is so real to life. He'll write a memoir from his mansion retirement home about how he made it all on his own with no help too
I love how the torture version is actually more fun and creative than the original, lmao
One day, Valefisk will make an actually fair game, but he’ll have no friends to play it with due to all of the torture he put them through.
Jokes on you, Vale is fully aware of that and he will never make a fair game
@@equilintogo5378maybe the fair game was the friends we lost along the way
Vale? Fair game? Im not a gambling man, but i wouldnt bet on it
pretty sure they have no choice at this point
@@xaviersavard6343 Didn't you watch the video? Why aren't you a gambling man!
As someone who uses the DB almost daily, I appreciate the DB train driver job. Also, the fact that the first thing that happened after Novel got the job was a strike is really realistic (there have been two strikes in the last three or four weeks and now they are discussing to strike longer than one day at a time starting january...). But as long as they aren't striking, they also aren't unloved. They are just easily annoyed when people block the door or when the train gets delayed because of a defective signal or too much traffic or if the train takes a wrong turn because the switch was set the wrong way. I think this is completely understandable. So it's not a job for the unloved, but for people who don't love themselves. Also, some of them make funny announcements. P.S.: Get well, Jan.
American here: what's the deal with DB? It sounds like the employees are nice enough, but the company sucks at their business lol.
@@mantha6912 The deal with DB is that it got privatized in some thatcher-esque effort to make it more efficient, but all it did was make them profit oriented and so they let the rail network rot and kept unperpaying the conductors and now it's always strikes and construction and like always people are too stupid to blame the fuckups at the top
ah :/@@SuperDropsX
@@mantha6912 As @SuperDropsX explained, they got privatized and turned into a profit oriented company (even though the state is still the lone shareholder). To summarize how much they let the stuff rot: 30-50 years ago, the phrase "Pünktlich wie die Deutsche Bahn" (= as punctual as a german train) was used as a compliment for people who are reliable and always on time. In 2021, only 65.2% of interregional trains were on time. And if that sounds bad, keep in mind, that firstly a train counts as on time if it arrives at its destination less than six minutes later than planned. This might sound somewhat reasonable, but it also means that your train might arrive "on time" but you end up missing your connection. Additionally, a train that got cancelled doesn't appear in that statistic at all. I mostly use the regional public transport and I've also seen some things. Every winter, they have to reduce the frequency of their trains because too many conductors are sick (I mean yeah, that happens, but if that happens year after year, you'd think they would plan ahead). Other reasons why they reduced the frequency included that they realized they can't couple different models of trains and that the wheels wore down faster than expected. Some other highlights of my daily commutes include: -A train being stuck in the station for 90 min, because one door was defective and the train couldn't start with it opended -A train taking a wrong turn. All passengers then had to leave the train and take a much smaller one to get back to the last station -One of the extendable boards used to cover the gap between train and platform could not be retracted, because the train was overloaded and the board was pressed onto the ground too hard. Every passenger had to leave the train, so that the conductor could close all of the doors and open them again without the board. This caused quite the delay. And of course there are also lots of delays and often cancellations in regional transport.
Strike longer than one day at a time ? Wow, as a friend from across the Rhine, that sounds like absolutely nothing, it's wild ^^
59:41 here it is the moment that idle death Gamble hits the 777 jackpot, and in fact it only lose to the trust fund baby + leage player, those two combined are like an automatic win
The strongest present gambler vs the strongest league player in history
Stand proud lynx, you're strong
Plot twist : Jan didn't have pneumonia, he just knew not to play another game with Vale.
He put wet socks on and slept with the window open to get pneumonia. Anything is better than vale’s torture
57:31 the whole exchange about House Jobbie was easily the funniest thing in the video, almost crying
JOBBIE IS FREE!
that exchange was beyond hilarious
It was pretty funny but the iron lung free lunch had me in tears
As a German, you made the train driver job too nice.
Sacrificing a child to grow another testicle? As a train driver? Sounds like a normal business day on Frankfurt main station
I do love seeing my padded room background being put to good use
Thanks for making it super internet star fridge
they locked me in a room…
@@solo4559a rubber room
@@solo4559a rubber room....
@@solo4559A rubber room with rat-human hybrid children.
"Who's going to actually pay off their student loans" "I literally don't have any money, I'm in double debt" Vales torture is now directed at the viewers as well.
this game looks legitimately good, i would play this if it were a board game
I like this version more than the official versions, it's actually fun and painful like Monopoly.
Well, its up on the tabletop simulator workshop, so you only need the game and friends
Maivi did a great job on the art btw. Really adds to the charm of this hellscape. :)
One day Vale will do the most shocking twist of all; making a fair game
Doesn't the ChatGPT game count? It's the most playable of his games.
@@justindieterich1773 vale didnt make it tho, thats the entire reason why its fair
I laughed when they said "this is probably one of your future career paths" and then i remembered my first job after droping out was telemarketing.
ur a brave one 🙏🙏🙏
@@cadenisforeverbored1612 bruh i lasted 2 weeks before i moved to retail. Fuck that shit.
I hope you didn't become an Ape Urine collector afterwards...
@@user-iw1zz2en4k nope, i have not sunk that low lol.
L pfp
As a german i want to comment on the represantation of our train drivers in this video. It is very acurate that the first thing they do on their job is to strike. There are four different unions for the DB, if one strikes jts enough for chaos.
It's astonishing how close Chamber got with the league career ending prediction.
I was laughing so hard through this whole video that I was physically unable to fold clothes.
this is such a beautifully specific comment.
"Vale, the sadist, tortures his masochist friends" Part 999999
And I'd watch another 999999 episodes
I just realized, the salaries that use pound shilling are always going to change and be slightly different each time you play… Vale, you need to add an update with a job using a volatile currency
*I LOVE how you “spin” the wheel, and then a die drops from the sky.*
Maivi really needs to stop helping with these soon if she wants to dodge the inevitable trial
I have a really bad headache and am known for laughing until i can't breathe and cough my lungs out so this was a highly funny and *INCREDIBLY* painful video to watch
Just like the real U.S.! :'D
Good
the gambler losing to a dice roll at the very end is so fucking fitting
Valefisk about to meme his way into a degree in game design
Vale, YOU MADE LIFE, YOU MADE THE ACTUAL LIFE. YOU'VE MADE A GAME THAT PROPERLY SHOWS WHAT LIFE TRULY IS. YES!!!!
"6 of which had no idea what they were getting into" I think the ptsd from your previous games should give them an idea of what they're getting into at this point.
most unrealistic part of this is everyone ended up mostly fine in the end
I feel like he should partner up with the guy making the Uno Amalgam. Just straight up the most cursed party game ever.
4th time asking for the ultimate SPS tournament (Second person shooter) two teams of two face off against each other in the FPS shooter of your choice, but they can only see the game through their teammate's perspective.
ingenious
“Money may not bring happiness but GAMBLING definitely does” Lynx 2023
Suprised at the pfp
@@malice6081 Why?
Okay, call me crazy, but this is the first one that looks ACTUALLY FUN to play. Like, unironically more fun than the actual game of life
28:43 I love how Vale's Gregor Samsa steam profile has come full circle with this one.
Vale, I believe you and your friends would greatly enjoy the recently released "Godgame Trillhouse edition" published to tabletop Sim's workshop by socksbox and his friends. I would definitely pay a hundred bucks to see you play that, that is, if I even had that kind of money in the first place.
I'm always impressed at Vale's ability to create new -fun- forms of -torture- -pain- erm... entertainment, yes that's the one
I'm waiting for the day that Vale opens up his own LLC (Beyond the Vale Entertainment, (Its ok you can have that for free ;) ) that specializes in board games). Eventually surpassing Milton Bradley and the Hasbro Corporation, and ultimately making it to Chateau de billionaire. (Not gonna lie, I would pay the 40 dollars if this was an actual game.)
There's a great moment in The Brittas Empire (it's a classic British sitcom set in a sports and recreation centre) where the infuriatingly sanctimonious Brittas forces his staff to play a boardgame exactly like this which he's designed to teach them about resilience, life being unfair, etc. Series Four, Episode Seven, 'The Chop'. 😄
I still lie in wait of the Campaign for North Africa video. I wonder if it will be more painful to play or to edit. God Speed, comrade Vale
Oh boy, another Valefisk board game. I sure hope everyone has a good time!
23:59 I laughed/cried pretty hard here. I was in software for 12 years, and when I finally left corporate because of my depression, I was making $120,000 a year.
As someone who knows the Deutsche Bahn quite well, I think it's hillarious that the DB conducter only rolled 1s. Very fitting.
We must ping him to remind him to add the link to the game in the description.
i have great news
I was literally just binging your board game torture videos when I got the notification for this - I can't wait to see what unspeakable horrors you'll put the gang through this time
Ich möchte Sie wissen lassen, dass ein Job im Zuggeschäft voller Liebe von all Ihren dankbaren Fahrgästen ist
The Egg Factory job makes more sense if its a Fabergé egg factory with those damages costs
25:56 I am that current trajectory 😅 went to college, flunked out, deep in debt, and I'm an assistant manager at a place. Family is close to disowning me for other reasons--the job is the one good thing I've got going on currently
Pogs in the chat
1 hour of 18 minutes of fun to watch :D
The sad thing is that this game probably only needs some name changes for a lot of people to decide to play it, Vale has (probably on accident, lets be honest) actually made a somewhat balanced game
I just finished 3h+ jerma's house flipper 2 video which was an amazing experience and now I get over 1h video from vale, jesus I'm eating good today
I'd love to see you and Magic the Noah do a collab on a crazy game, haha.
I’m surprised that “Fluids collector at the Inverness Canine Fertility Clinic” wasn’t a possible job
I like how Maivi has just become your right hand man im these torture games
We need a sequel to this video. This game has so much playtime potential.
Maivi has become the Amanda to Vale's jigsaw
"I Made an Unfair Board Game." Vale... I think you gonna have to be more specific than that, this ain't exactly the first time 💀
This is possibly the greatest video you've made since the Geoguesser quiz. Such a wild ride with so many ups and downs for each person, with everyone getting a story to tell. Not to mention so many little bits built up over the video that were absolutely hilarious. Peak Valefisk right here.
God, I haven't cried laughing in a good while now, but the third ball and jobbie parts fully shortcircuited me, fucking hell. New emotional support video I guess, the fuck can I say.
"Bro is getting paid like... peaky blinders money" had me fucking dead hahahahaahahaha
Thank you for the goblin representation, finally my life is complete
PLEASE make a second one of these, it was genuinely hilarious
*idea:* last to quit/leave wins. mage archer knight monster in a hexagon or square board with free movement speed damage health defence and every class has its own reason why its nearly impossible to kill like archer moving tons of times per turn and healing tons and knight take -99% damage with having tons of health. mage having op gear by default that heals him and monster reflecting like 95% of damage or something. etc. strong atack abilities but which still arent enough to win the game in under like 4-8h. loot around the map for new gear per class and different terrain like trees best for archers mountains for monster and mage and archer plains for mage and knight and cities for knight etc.
"masc, fem, and green" as a plant (green) i LOVE the representation! Keep up the awesome work, Vale!
Of course Maivi's the one who was in on it. Vale's partner in crime.
Great job on the editing love the amount of stuff that was happing
I laughed so hard throughout the video, all the others hav been gunny as well but this one has been physically painfully funny. Thank you Vale
I love that Teddy, Teddy Roosevelt, the well-known trust-buster, became a trust fund baby 😂
Can't wait for among us in the game of life
Can't believe I've never heard of this channel before! I'm absolutely in love!! Keep up the amazing work!
My favorite video from you so far, the game was funny and the group dynamic was great
Life Finds A Way.
Honestly thought Vale said "7 French victims" and just. Took that at face value.
thank you for the nonbinary representation of goblin. I've never felt more included.
The timing on this video couldn’t have been more perfect. I just watched the last game of life video on your channel yesterday🤯
Vale edited most of it out, but this game lasted 80 years
It isn't a good day until Valefisk uploads a torture video
I've had pneumonia but I was blessed it never required hospitalization, great job getting through it Jan!
I love how complicit Maivi is in your torture videos now. She always seems to know ahead of time what everyone is in for, and yet still shows up