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Пікірлер
"everyone goes back to start" means that the more players there are the more impossible the game becomes
@android19willpwn Жыл бұрын
Boutta host a 25 player game
@cryst4l_clear456 Жыл бұрын
@@cryst4l_clear456 🎶This is the game that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started playing and not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing forever just becuase this is the game that never ends...🎶
@syrusgrove8682 Жыл бұрын
@@syrusgrove8682 Even though i never watched that show, I understand that reference
@nfortyeight Жыл бұрын
@@nfortyeight what show is it
@zixvirzjghamn737 Жыл бұрын
@@zixvirzjghamn737 search, the song that doesn’t end
@nfortyeight Жыл бұрын
"I'm afraid it's the new deal, brought by FDR to the United States" fucking killed me
@pixelkamui4555 Жыл бұрын
Brilliant
@SgtKOnyx Жыл бұрын
18:48
@thatdudemario2403 Жыл бұрын
I know, haha. I've never laughed harder in my life watching a video. In the middle of the night, no less!
@ENCELADUSCompositions Жыл бұрын
E
@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын
@@EEEEEEEEF
@actuallyIDontExist5 ай бұрын
This *desperately* needs a public release
@pizzaplate3846 Жыл бұрын
Fr tho!
@basiclyzang312 Жыл бұрын
I’d love to play this with friends. It’d make me go crazy, but in a good way.
@MintTheProtogen11 ай бұрын
YES PLEASE
@mrpayday705510 ай бұрын
with some modifications, it would be really good.
@DollarStoreEggman8 ай бұрын
No Please No
@Flightkitten8 ай бұрын
The clown board seems like a pleasant place to be, since you don't have to draw any pain cards. For future versions of the game, make the clown board more painful.
@tickytickytango5634 Жыл бұрын
Clown board is just the Matrix
@lucaluca31079 ай бұрын
“The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.” “They killed my wife.” Best exchange, hands down.
@jax_firestorm9689 Жыл бұрын
"I'm afraid that in your anger you have killed her."
@The-jy3yq Жыл бұрын
45:41
@mxm23adregalusandmore62 Жыл бұрын
@@mxm23adregalusandmore62 goat
@daminkon246 Жыл бұрын
They sounded like bots on Reddit. It was great 😅
@nymphrodellsalavin Жыл бұрын
Actual real life copies when?
@ecrosenow5194 Жыл бұрын
*The hardest quest in any video game "Go Outside And Touch Grass"*
@thespiffingbrit Жыл бұрын
truly impossible
@ryank_ Жыл бұрын
What do you think about this 3:33
@prodrom Жыл бұрын
🎩 🪳 Look! Its The Spiffing Brit!
@minihjalte Жыл бұрын
Sir! Today I had many glasses of yorkshire tea!
@theswissconfederacy2136 Жыл бұрын
@@prodrom it do be me...
@thespiffingbrit Жыл бұрын
That ending killed me, you can't even flip the board to vent your frustration. You are a monster for making this game. I love you.
@ThePhantomSafetyPin Жыл бұрын
E
@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын
@@darthvader8744 sports
@ProfessionalBugLover11 ай бұрын
@@ProfessionalBugLover ITS IN THE GAME
@actuallyIDontExist11 ай бұрын
609thliker
@user-pr6ed3ri2k10 ай бұрын
that ending killed you like they killed my wife
@P-nk-m-na4 ай бұрын
‘Groog want egg” “Courage is found in unlikely places” “Richard?” “Neigh neigh” “Grooog” It is indeed a fucking disaster
@goldenbunnies4143 Жыл бұрын
Yeah that's right Richard, care I do not CLICK CLOCK CLICK CLOCK
@actuallyIDontExist Жыл бұрын
34:21
@050_WeiXianАй бұрын
The only game where you have to memorize the Bible and several released CIA documents to stand a chance
@captainkawaii666 Жыл бұрын
Finally im actually useful
@khajandes2066 Жыл бұрын
Remembering the bible wouldn't even help you in here.
@FamilycrusadersAnd_The_Crew Жыл бұрын
The Bible isn't gonna help much with those questions.
@thewanderingmistnull2451 Жыл бұрын
don't forget about the most obscure paradox questions
@Themoonisachees Жыл бұрын
the bible won't help you with deep catholic lore
@tmzilla Жыл бұрын
"She couldn't stay your little girl forever, Jim. Beep beep." My sides.
@Tmanowns Жыл бұрын
"Richard"
@Nothing-1w3 Жыл бұрын
“They killed my wife”
@px1_ Жыл бұрын
COPE-LAND COPE-LAND COPE-LAND
@lelagrangeeffectphysics4120 Жыл бұрын
ㅤㅤㅤ
@Emerald29 Жыл бұрын
That JUST happened in the video as I read the comment
@basicallytoxic Жыл бұрын
The [redacted] deck is probably the funniest thing I've seen in years. Every single card was pure gold. I would like a copy.
@undeadgoat Жыл бұрын
I wanted to play this with my friends the other day and the moment I saw it wasn't on the workshop CRUSHED me. I so wanted to introduce them to the chaos on display here
@toaferon1822 Жыл бұрын
It's so sad that it has been retroactively added to the Geneva Convention in its fifth and final amendment
@BierBart129 ай бұрын
i was really expecting "you 'win'" to just unveil an entire second board
@keava Жыл бұрын
Me simulater
@guncatto2625 Жыл бұрын
to really win you have to not suffer, that's why it is called "you "win""
@unknownfox3796 Жыл бұрын
YES
@seamusquain2706 Жыл бұрын
I'ma make a copy of this board, and make more levels for this board.
@Echo-Frisk Жыл бұрын
Temple of Madness
@HypoValence Жыл бұрын
Next video: "I invented an actual honest-to-god physical torture device and locked my friends in it", followed by "building a torture device in federal prison"
@MadamLava094 Жыл бұрын
If anything he’ll get hired by the feds to be the new warden at Gitmo.
@baz5042 Жыл бұрын
@Anna ♪ bad timing edit: and ironic somewhat
@johnsteampunk6408 Жыл бұрын
@@johnsteampunk6408 What the hell is behind those links?
@theangrymilitant Жыл бұрын
Isn't this what Michael Reeves used to make? Maybe Valefisk can get some inspiration from his videos.
@TheLonelyBrit Жыл бұрын
@@theangrymilitant they're just spam bots
@FelineBlue Жыл бұрын
"Now, I am not a cruel man" I love how he keeps repeating this line, knowing nobody will believe him
@xdarin_ Жыл бұрын
“Charles deGaul is right between General Grevieous and Patrick Bateman” laughed so hard at that
@PacmanZoomPZ Жыл бұрын
“For you see, Young Skywalker, I have 1 Gregor Samsa buck in my possession” I’m framing this
@elderberryva9282 Жыл бұрын
They killed my wife
@elgordobondiola Жыл бұрын
E
@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын
Copeland.
@alexandersean4708 Жыл бұрын
@@alexandersean4708 yea that's right Richard I don't care
@actuallyIDontExist Жыл бұрын
35:52
@shoukokomi6419 Жыл бұрын
Secret alternative pain deck: If a player is speaking in a French accent or imitating Charles De Gaulle when they land on Pain, they get a card from an alternative deck with bread-themed, mostly positive cards.
@Frommerman Жыл бұрын
Okay this is funny
@mantacid1221 Жыл бұрын
He *was* pretty lucky irl
@ariesdemiurge Жыл бұрын
pain card 1: go make toast pain card 2: have a sandwich :) if you're under the conditions for pain cards and not pain cards then you're. running out of bread
@smamy8861 Жыл бұрын
"your baguette crumbled. go back to the last pain tile and draw from the pain deck"
@rsodrealm Жыл бұрын
“If bread in french is pain, then I own a fucking bakery” -Literally pick anyone in this video
@therealchaosguy Жыл бұрын
the most torturous part of this game is that it's crossed beyond the barrier of the video and affects the viewer because we can't play the game for ourselves. truly the most torturous part of the game
@asura3695 Жыл бұрын
I can't imagine the confusion somebody watching with the sound off would've experienced seeing "they killed my wife" keep popping up. This game seems like the best and worst time of someone's life simultaneously
@tweekkat7764 Жыл бұрын
I just thought of a way to make the "everyone go back" card less painful, yet more chaotic. Add an option in the shop to remove that card from the draw pile and put it in the discard pile. If the players don't want this card drawn, someone will have to pay for it every-time the draw pile is remade. Which means, it becomes an interesting variant of the prisoner dilemma, wherein each player has the option of spending their precious money on this, or be greedy and hope someone else pay for it.
@yoyogre Жыл бұрын
That's an amazing idea hahaha
@magiv4205 Жыл бұрын
even worse: add an option to pay to add it back into the draw pile someone loosing horrendous can now bring everyone else down with them, sowing discord and chaos.
@laniaki463 Жыл бұрын
@@laniaki463 oh god, you are a mad man
@minehermit Жыл бұрын
@@laniaki463 R/Madlads
@Your_mom513 Жыл бұрын
@@laniaki463 Even better if you make it cheap to put back. Like $1 dollar cheap.
@josephvictory9536 Жыл бұрын
I genuinely want to play this game with my friends but it would be absolutely fucking unplayable because of all the inside jokes and references that none of us would get
@HoffayStudios35 Жыл бұрын
I feel like the distrubtion version of this game is one with "[insert in-joke here]" for the game master to fill in and the table top simulator tutorials valefisk used.
@AbsolXGuardian Жыл бұрын
Gotta customize your own board for the friend group.
@kosherkingofisrael6381 Жыл бұрын
if it doesn't exist, make it yourself.
@MiriadCalibrumAstar Жыл бұрын
it's also mathematically impossible to win
@therealpotsmoan593 Жыл бұрын
make your own
@hardlyanydiggity3953 Жыл бұрын
To be fair, if Vale DID play, imagine him trying to GM while being an Italian Shrek who can only quote Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it would be an actual nightmare.
@jakeking974 Жыл бұрын
Considering that the "Win" in "You "Win"" was in quotations I thought if you land on it there was gonna be a card that said something like: "You realize that it's the journey, not the destination that matters. Go back to start". Considering that the last game Vale made was unbeatable, I’m surprised that this one was beatable. He was so merciful.
@dank_smirk2ndchannel200 Жыл бұрын
instead of going back to start, it makes you go to a mirrored version of the board.
@kaiseremotion854 Жыл бұрын
It should just reveal a whole second board even worse than the first
@blarghmoment1825 Жыл бұрын
Technically, it wasn’t. Because he had to take a card out of circulation for them to ACTUALLY progress
@RealCoolstriker64 Жыл бұрын
@@RealCoolstriker64 oh God. Imagine if the card he removed is what the O.C was proposing... That would just be cruel.
@dylantucker5374 Жыл бұрын
@@kaiseremotion854, It’s just Castlevania.
@Jaydee-wd7wr Жыл бұрын
Very sad Vale cut out my defence of libertarianism in French when I was Charles De Gaulle
@pedejo Жыл бұрын
Convince him to give you the clip so that it can be shared
@tankbuster626 Жыл бұрын
French is basically gibberish and we already heard the defence in gibberish.
@namethathasntbeentakenyetm3682 Жыл бұрын
I genuinely need a clip of this. j’aime la pensée de la tête français pendant la Seconde Guerre mondiale défendant le libertarianisme
@ericdillingham7843 Жыл бұрын
LOL
@thilsiktonix Жыл бұрын
Lmao
@trashkitty8736 Жыл бұрын
A way to make this game more balanced is replace the "Everyone goes back to start :)" with 2 "Everyone else goes back to start :)"
@z3_gaming526 Жыл бұрын
I love that, even though he is in agony, Vale still commits to the dumb trick questions on the Paradox Quiz Show.
@lord_azazel001 Жыл бұрын
I love how every so often we just get a sad "they killed my wife" for no apparent reason. Also, Gregor Samsa Bucks made me laugh way too hard
@flipflopzthreeonethree1873 Жыл бұрын
I didn't kill my wife.
@xyz3524 Жыл бұрын
What was worse was that there was 2 of them and not once in this video did the other say "I don't care" when the other said "I didn't kill my wife."
@gentlemanmadness607 Жыл бұрын
@@xyz3524 I knew it was Richard all along. He's the one who did it
@MiroslavBarzashki Жыл бұрын
"You have no money. Too bad. You remain as Star Wars Shrek making car noises." I love this channel.
@Zanthosus Жыл бұрын
E
@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын
I have a bad feeling about this VROOM KACHOW
@actuallyIDontExist Жыл бұрын
@@actuallyIDontExist get out of my parking garage
@ProfessionalBugLover Жыл бұрын
@@ProfessionalBugLover no
@actuallyIDontExist Жыл бұрын
That's the future capitalists want lmao
@plaguenplay3516 Жыл бұрын
10:10 (*casually pulls out redacted CIA documents*)
@blacklight683 Жыл бұрын
This is my first and favorite Valefisk video. Whenever I feel sad, or sick, or bored, or need something as background noise, this is one of the videos I always come back to. Thank you, Valefisk, for bringing me joy through the torment of your friends. I only wish I could be this problematic while keeping my friends and sanity. Truly, you are a role model I will look up to for years to come. XD
@thespudbud235110 ай бұрын
I love how the guy who got Joe Biden just did a Senator Armstrong impression instead and everybody went with it. Edit: Hey KZhead, it would have been nice to know that editing my comment to correct a typo would have deleted the heart that Valefisk gave me before I did so.
@weirdtyrant6274 Жыл бұрын
But as for now, our protagonist Raiden with Biden
@orangetabby7122 Жыл бұрын
What are you talking about, thats clearly biden.
@janehrahan5116 Жыл бұрын
@@orangetabby7122 Joe Raiden.
@JustAJosuke Жыл бұрын
That was closer to a macho man impression than Armstrong
@breckhodges3177 Жыл бұрын
@@breckhodges3177 What’s the difference?
@Clarity_Control Жыл бұрын
Here’s an idea for a pain card: Set a timer for an hour, and if the game hasn’t ended when it goes off, everybody goes back to start.
@TheGuyBehindYou Жыл бұрын
Given the number of back to start conditions, I think it might be unnecessary.
@rafaelmarkos4489 Жыл бұрын
@@rafaelmarkos4489 Yes but with this one the pain isn't instant. You have to live with the existential dread that it doesn't matter how much progress you’re making, as unless you finish the game, everything you worked for is gonna be gone.
@TheGuyBehindYou Жыл бұрын
To make it a bit more fun, whenever you grab it again, the timer extends just a bit, so people would have to through the pain (lol) faster in order to have a chance at this
@user-zw7zp3jg5f Жыл бұрын
@@user-zw7zp3jg5f yea give them 1 extra minute each time they pick it up
@vulkarma741 Жыл бұрын
@@vulkarma741 nah 1 whole hour
@otherlego Жыл бұрын
Still waiting for Vale to release this on the workshop
@danielquintero8694 Жыл бұрын
Actually the only way to win quickly is to draw the "dementia card" and claim you already won.
@TheGriever Жыл бұрын
Next Valefisk video: "I Invented A New Torture Device To Torture My Friends"
@shamsquatch9980 Жыл бұрын
sensing a pattern here yet?
@Valefisk Жыл бұрын
I Put My Friends In An IRL Saw Trap For $10,000! (Not Clickbait)
@connorkolodziej1879 Жыл бұрын
"Myself included."
@tacticalnuke5673 Жыл бұрын
@@Valefisk make a crypt sequel that only changes the color with one more puzzle, and claim you completely overhauled the game for your next victims
@boomstick7506 Жыл бұрын
Are they even friends at this point?
@Apgl257 Жыл бұрын
The problem with the "everyone goes back to start" card was the number of players you had. Increasing the players rattled through the deck faster than in your testing, so there wasn't enough time between resets. It makes the winning strategy just enduring the pain and aiming to collect up enough cash to buy victory.
@laurenceperkins7468 Жыл бұрын
Ah capitalism
@Udle101 Жыл бұрын
@@Udle101 not exactly
@binguloid Жыл бұрын
@@binguloid pay to win
@AP-uc7oz Жыл бұрын
So....what you are saying is that his toture method is unintentionally better then expected
@sxlproductions Жыл бұрын
@@binguloid actually, pretty much exactly capitalism. The only difference is this one was deliberately designed to be unnecessary torture, while the only reason Capitalism is like that is due to humans *really* hating actually fixing their systems when upgrades become available IRL. They're fine with pointlessly trying to find ways to persecute each other though, but that's neither here nor there, although it might be a good add on for Vale's next game.
@theendersmirk5851 Жыл бұрын
27:30 debut of "they killed my wife"
@emred465311 ай бұрын
This is like a Sadist being given the tools to create Calvin Ball and I am *all here for it*
@girlwarriorx5536 Жыл бұрын
Valefisk at the start of the year: "I've decided I want to become a youtuber full time" Valefisk in the middle of the year: "Scratch that, I want to become a torturer full time"
@RAFMnBgaming Жыл бұрын
The perfect arc
@KnowledgePerformance7 Жыл бұрын
Torture is like fun, except with fun more than one person is happy
@puppergump4117 Жыл бұрын
Without context, "They killed my wife." is so out of left field and it's hilarious
@riptideanomy1024 Жыл бұрын
E
@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын
@@EEEEEEEE E
@lonelyincorporated1583 Жыл бұрын
@@lonelyincorporated1583 E
@dewfeather8209 Жыл бұрын
@@dewfeather8209 E
@alexandersean4708 Жыл бұрын
@@alexandersean4708 E
@actuallyIDontExist Жыл бұрын
I love how it didn't matter who won at the end; everyone was just glad it had ended! That's how you know it's a quality game! 😆
@caseyelworthy2759 Жыл бұрын
Its a feature shared by only the very best, and very worst games.
@janehrahan5116 Жыл бұрын
the fact that at 51:24 we can see it landing on Palpatine instead of Gunray is just awesome
@5atemir335 Жыл бұрын
I love how seemingly half of the cards force players to speak in quotes, add random noises to sentences or just straight up gibberish. It's the tower of Babel all over again
@SoewoeMoloko Жыл бұрын
Соя имба
@duftx Жыл бұрын
@@duftx this goes hard
@thesalad943 Жыл бұрын
@@thesalad943 im cryin and shakin rn
@duftx Жыл бұрын
@@duftx Вареная фасоль
@telescopesfs-officialchann3897 Жыл бұрын
It's crazy because if they actually worked together they would be finished by the 3 hour mark. But for some reason winning an arbitrary game was too appealing
@airwalker0676 Жыл бұрын
I think part of the problem was that it took a few hours to figure out how they needed to work together. I wouldn't have thought that there was a way _to_ work together until after the "Everyone goes back to the start, lol" card was mentioned...
@timothymclean Жыл бұрын
@@timothymclean to
@brionesjohnelvin4949 Жыл бұрын
I only thought if one player can give money to another, everyone just need to save $100 together
@roseyuen6916 Жыл бұрын
How can they work together?
@coconoisette Жыл бұрын
@@coconoisette if they agree have one person go forward and everyone else always choose "return to start" it would minimize the chance of return to start appearing
@airwalker0676 Жыл бұрын
"they killed my wife" gets me every time
@pixalor Жыл бұрын
25:23 I died laughing, this is such an oddly specific question lol.
@OneDapperFrog Жыл бұрын
Seems like the key is to nominate one person as the savior, and then get everyone else stuck on clown boards just going in loops so they can't land on pain spots and reset.
@mjf69 Жыл бұрын
when are you coming back to dynamite max
@lint9305 Жыл бұрын
The meta is forming...
@pirig-gal Жыл бұрын
Ah, Christianity
@redeye4516 Жыл бұрын
yeah because theres a pain card that send everyone back to start so you cant win if there are too many players they eat through the cards and send everyone back alternative tactic is everyone conspires to spend all there money sending them back so they can stay near the money tiles near the start
@kellynolen498 Жыл бұрын
kinda feels like the best strategy is to just endure the negative effects as much as possible and just quietly roll for money until you have $100 to pay to win the game.
@wfchannel4673 Жыл бұрын
I like how she says "I took a painkiller" after all these Pain cards. Also, this seems like an excellent game for a bunch of drunks friends to play.
@binaryalgorithm Жыл бұрын
I fear for the physical safety of your face or your computer and it's accessories nay, I say, to the proposed statement
@The-jy3yq Жыл бұрын
@@Rekkuza-eu6sp *WOLOLO*
@The-jy3yq Жыл бұрын
@@Rekkuza-eu6sp somebody drew the Catholicism card
@Ardorstorm Жыл бұрын
E
@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын
Except if you have a severely hungover friend and said person has to do ten push-ups or go back to the start
@victorleoncio1079 Жыл бұрын
The only person to make his friends choose to live in purgatory (the clown board) instead of exist in the agony that is Vales presence.
@ricecooker703710 ай бұрын
27:00 here is where I completely lost it 🤣🤣
@irissupercoolsy Жыл бұрын
"Please let this be a normal game" "With Valefisk? No way!"
@somegem6344 Жыл бұрын
Magic school's theme begins playing but its earrape.
@heartysquid Жыл бұрын
C R U I S I N O N D O W N M A I N S T R E E T
@DoritosAndMountainDew Жыл бұрын
Cruisin on down pain street
@blarghmoment1825 Жыл бұрын
Cruisin' on down pain street I am not a cru-el man Next thing that you know, it's... Everyone go back to start :)
@johncameron1935 Жыл бұрын
@@DoritosAndMountainDew relaxed and feelin good
@O5-7 Жыл бұрын
11:03 The hell I actually would've know the answer to that question. Since I'm a Finn, my dad has told me about the Winter War between Finland and Russia in 1939. Afte the war, Finland agreed to pay war indemnities to Russia. For some reason, I would always remember quite precisely the details about the payment. This included over 100 ships and huge amounts of timber, forestry and metal industry products. Frying pans for example. All this would amount to over 300 million US dollars, which when converted to Russian rubles, will amount to roughly 17,5 billion rubles.
@Zeppe2 Жыл бұрын
17.5 billion back then or now? That’s cool though.
@robertdolcetti450 Жыл бұрын
@@robertdolcetti450 Back then I'm assuming.
@Zeppe2 Жыл бұрын
Finland is such a neat country, not to mention the great legends who rose from that time. Simo Hayha, and Lauri Taurni. The White Death, and The Traveling Hero (that's what I call Lauri Taurni, considering his history.)
@airplanemaniacgaming7877 Жыл бұрын
@@airplanemaniacgaming7877 I'm glad to see someone who is well informed on Finlands history
@Zeppe2 Жыл бұрын
@@Zeppe2 I learned of both thanks to a certain Swedish metal band with historically themed lyrics. That also just so happens to have gotten a holy artifact from the Church of Poland. Delivered by the Archbishop of said Church himself at a concert.
@airplanemaniacgaming7877 Жыл бұрын
22:11 you had a chance to Rick roll everyone
@user-hv6tt2sg9k9 ай бұрын
48:19 - Metal Gear Rising
@LordXaedin_AltAccount Жыл бұрын
Vale. My god Vale I know what must be done. What game allows for more gaslighting and bullshit than any other? Thats right, a TTRPG dungeon crawl. Build the single most hellish Dungeon imaginable and force them to fight through it. Even better, pitch different genres and styles of games to all your players so they each come with the most disjointed, out of place character possible.
@timeenoughatlast3368 Жыл бұрын
YES
@gentleshark972 Жыл бұрын
Yyyyyseeeeee
@pastoralpaul1002 Жыл бұрын
My personal favourite trap suggestion. You allow the players to observe a 31ft long corridor. At the end of this corridor is a corner turn leading to an indestructible, locked door. At the start of the corridor is a trap warning, crushing plates of instant death for anyone who steps into the corridor, but they only trigger 50% of the time. No tricks. No skills or ways out of it. Just a 50/50 chance of death every time you cross the corridor. But what about the locked door you ask? Well, scrawled in black chalk are nordic symbols which correctly translate to "the key is hidden behind the sign." The players are then forced to possibly cross back over just to get the key, then again to unlock the door. Which would then turn out to be a dead end
@timeenoughatlast3368 Жыл бұрын
@@timeenoughatlast3368 And just a cherry, have the germanic runic alphabets be mixed up and all written as bindrunes, to make translation that much more difficult- but in reality the sign has a decorative border that is actually secret instructions in Ogham of how to find a series of buttons in the corridor you have to press in an order, only to do nothing
@veszimardalath9739 Жыл бұрын
@@veszimardalath9739 genius inclusion!
@timeenoughatlast3368 Жыл бұрын
"I am not a cruel man" - person who made an awful geoguesser tournament
@Fireluigi1225 Жыл бұрын
That’s because cruel doesn’t begin to describe them
@grukmccrymyselftoosleep7098 Жыл бұрын
40:45 made me laugh way harder than it should've
@DaniLoRiver Жыл бұрын
At 38:17 I took so so so much effort to not explosively spit out the soda from my mouth in laughter
@BlackOps-bn1qe Жыл бұрын
This guy just took the “ruins friendship” aspect of every board game and made it into a board game
@specialism640 Жыл бұрын
when the "make a defence for anarcho-primitivism" card came up, I was honestly expecting him to just pull up the Unabomber's Manifesto
@betteradversary1606 Жыл бұрын
Ooga booga grug think industrial revolution consequences been disaster to grugan race.
@beybladeguru101 Жыл бұрын
return to monke
@felicityc Жыл бұрын
Not much of a defense then
@puppergump4117 Жыл бұрын
31:26 Chamber’s ping is 999. I don’t care what you say, that’s impressive.
@KingBanjo1217 Жыл бұрын
What if instead of removing the "everyone back to start" card after some time, certain spaces were outlined and if you're in one of those you get to stay there? perhaps the final loop could be fully protected, or maybe all but one, and in general they're sorta like chance checkpoints randomly scattered across the board
@VoidRift Жыл бұрын
you get reset to these chechpoints instead of back to the start
@alfiehutchinson10306 ай бұрын
but if that were to happen then i would get rid of that cards entire purpose sure people would go back to start but not everyone like the card says and we gotta follow the rules now trust me its better this way
@SasquatchWithATophat6 ай бұрын
This is keeps hitting harder and harder. I didn't think we were going to get Senator Armstrong from memory that late in the game.
@Erthradar Жыл бұрын
"Nanomachines, son" - Joe Biden
@LaggySnake Жыл бұрын
"Tremendously based Joe Biden" is a phrase I never thought I would hear edit: fixed the quote
@betteradversary1606 Жыл бұрын
*"I'm not a cruel man"* _Press X to doubt_ Finally a board game that can torture the boys 😂
@-Raylight Жыл бұрын
as he said that the insane monopoly video popped up on the i button, comedic gold I tell you
@feldbiss6417 Жыл бұрын
Raylight
@shoda9939 Жыл бұрын
Oh, I heard I'm not a cool man....
@dominusvolpus8031 Жыл бұрын
I casually heard that line half a second after reading your comment. *X files music.
@aylenpons6682 Жыл бұрын
Plus tortures the girls (Do 10 push-ups while suffering from a hangover).
@thetruegoldenknight Жыл бұрын
"For you see young Skywalker, I have one Gregor samsa buck in my possession."
@Totas_funnynumber Жыл бұрын
Marking 14:38. One of my favorite soundbites from any video ever. Better than Bill Jensen.
@revolutionstudios50523 ай бұрын
"Cocolate" is probably due to bad OCR when scanning a printed document directly to PDF. That is why many legal documents online have spelling errors, they're typically printed out in a serif font like Times New Roman where some of the details are hard to parse by the software.
@CPU9incarnate Жыл бұрын
Because I'm a huge nerd I actually looked up the document. The official one doesn't have the spelling error. Also the actual recipes are about 1 page long. The rest is a lot of very specific anti-'there ain't no rule' legalese about the quality of the ingredients, the way they want it packaged, and the way they're going to inspect the final product.
@stargate525 Жыл бұрын
The easy solution is to make the "everyone goes back to start" card a single-use card
@elijahingram6477 Жыл бұрын
A single use card that is thrown in on the 2nd or 3rd pass of the cards, otherwise it loses its luster.
@gingerinajacket8519 Жыл бұрын
He should add another deck with single use cards that just have the most cruel punishments possible
@murpledeer Жыл бұрын
18:04 the illusion of choice
@iplayminecraft2248 Жыл бұрын
Everybody gangsta till valefisk whips out the pdfs
@macnbac3476 Жыл бұрын
This feels like an AI generated this game and just had a stack overflow 2 seconds in
@totallynotcass7732 Жыл бұрын
I'd unironically like to play this with my friends myself. Maybe with alcohol involved. And me running the game rather than playing. And, probably even more alcohol.
@Blackslayter Жыл бұрын
Play the imposible game he mentions at the begining of the video to get a taste of it
@january0th Жыл бұрын
Same
@lebendigesgespenst7669 Жыл бұрын
Drink every time you get went back to the start.
@jakebluestein4542 Жыл бұрын
I’d say make it yourself so you can tailor the torture to your friends
@LEGOALEX97 Жыл бұрын
satan has lost his job to you
@commie_sylveon6563 Жыл бұрын
How to make it even better: First to win wins, but the game is only beat once _all_ players reach win. ~Darkstalker
@stargazer_and_coАй бұрын
I wish I had a friend group that would legitimately play this with me
@kneecaps3892 Жыл бұрын
The fact I sat here for about an hour watching “ they killed my wife “ is astonishing
@Snake3991 Жыл бұрын
At 18:00 - idea for a modification to the game: Make certain negative effects be contagious, so that if someone lands on the same space as another it can get passed to them too.
@princeamongkings343 Жыл бұрын
This would also make the Pain deck get progressively larger as copies of the cards get sent to the discard when removed or replaced, making the game more viable with larger player amounts without removing the "everyone return to start" card from play. Not a bad idea at all.
@firekirby123 Жыл бұрын
18:52 - I mean that's rather vague, you'll have to be more specific- oh it's a joke card of course, I should have known
@dr0g_Oakblood Жыл бұрын
You know it's a good game if everyone celebrates at the end even if they lose
@tiger5869 Жыл бұрын
At this point I'm fully convinced Vale is a direct descendant of Marquis de Sade
@dontshootmex5588 Жыл бұрын
my money is on Phalaris of acragas
@Pundae Жыл бұрын
Truly this is just the board game adaptation of 120 days of Sodom
@wrenkozlowski8362 Жыл бұрын
32:34 "make a defence for libertarianism in gibberish" is perhaps the best thing I have ever heard
@blu3113 Жыл бұрын
im sick af and i read that as librarian :(
@mkgaca8721 Жыл бұрын
E
@EEEEEEEE Жыл бұрын
I was crying laughing
@gabrielledrake9218 Жыл бұрын
@@EEEEEEEE E
@actuallyIDontExist Жыл бұрын
I'm so curious who was dying laughing during that segment x)
@wildmaknae_11 ай бұрын
I got unskippable youtube adds interupting me 4 times during this video. Cudos to them for making the viewers not only watch but experience the intense torture theme of the video xD
@MadOliveGaming11 ай бұрын
40:38 As a fellow german I approve of this message
@noahh6032 Жыл бұрын
"I'm not a cruel man" and other hilarious jokes you can tell to your friends
@catthatlooksatyoufunny7377 Жыл бұрын
naming suggestion: the game of purgatory anyway, please make this puplicly available in the workshop and if you do please add a feature that lets you add your own prompts. that would be so awesome
@weegee_666 Жыл бұрын
And if you follow the Pope on Twitter the game gets shorter ;)
@FaustY2K Жыл бұрын
@@FaustY2K If you successful run for president of the united states you get to move forward one space
@sev1120 Жыл бұрын
or just: purgatory
@1th_to_comment. Жыл бұрын
"He's still going" I mean, that's fair. Once I start going on the intro bit for "The Death of God's Will" from Ultrakill, the video game and electrical crack simulator, I can't stop. From "Machine, I will cut you down" to "My hands shall RELISH ending you, here and NOW!" I just have to because otherwise the transition isn't as awesome.
@jakeking974 Жыл бұрын
To be clear when he said ich bin ein turn he said I am a turn
@trentenidk8431 Жыл бұрын
Anyone recall that old story about the knight that plays chess with the grim reaper to try and extend his life? Imagine if the knight pulled this b++++++t out.
@ivorymantis1026 Жыл бұрын
Infinite life
@bittersweet4487 Жыл бұрын
Oooooo bullshit spooky
@kirbywithlegs98 Жыл бұрын
@@kirbywithlegs98 My comments with swearing get hidden by KZhead more often, and little experiments like this show me how often comments are shadow banned.
@ivorymantis1026 Жыл бұрын
@@ivorymantis1026 wait is this real? Wtf
@juliewinchester1488 Жыл бұрын
@@juliewinchester1488 Try it yourself. Make a comment where you would normally swear then make a comment where you don't swear. Big tech has always restricted speech, they can't help it; it's in their nature.
@ivorymantis1026 Жыл бұрын
I'm just impressed you have friends that would actually be willing to try to play such a game
@jighardy Жыл бұрын
Not anymore
@gentlemanmadness607 Жыл бұрын
Seriously, I'd love to i give this a go, but my friends would 100% quit after like five minutes
@ericpayne9091 Жыл бұрын
I may genuinely have gotten an uncharacteristic unstoppable nosebleed every time I have watched this video...still want a physical copy of the game tho
@smeagollumartin Жыл бұрын
This video is cursed, you will soon join the hive mind
@actuallyIDontExist9 ай бұрын
This is literally the worst aspect of every board game rolled up with 10 month old garbage and seasoned with the tears of a LoL player. This unholy abomination doesn’t deserve to exist and yet paradoxically, since it feeds off the suffering of others, it’s stays alive because it’s mere presence causes pain to all who witness it. 10/10 video, would definitely like to grab some people and play this.
@zenphir9051 Жыл бұрын
As someone who still has 2048 installed on their phone from when that was popular, and still plays it regularly. That 2048 card is brutal, there are a few strategies for the game but an immense part of it is just luck of where the next number spawns, and all it takes is one bad spawn to end a run.
@GalacticNerd Жыл бұрын
2048 lore
@afonsomartins6311 Жыл бұрын
If you know what you're doing you can get 2048 basically every time. 4096 too, 8192 is alot harder
@hankglidden1463 Жыл бұрын
@@hankglidden1463 yeah idk what this guy is talking about, i can get 2048 probably 80% consistently and when i dont its typically human error
@suburbanshrub6675 Жыл бұрын
@@suburbanshrub6675 same this was legit like the only 'challenge' i could do without ripping my hair out.... god forbid i get chess cause i don't know how to play my uncle tried teaching me a few times and that went horribly....
@mrsneeze903 Жыл бұрын
it is fairly luck based but as someone who's played it for maybe six years or so, as soon as i got my first 2048 it somehow instantly became easier to me. bad luck can kill a run or at least make it a lot more inconvenient but if you know how to adapt your strategy a little then it's not usually a big deal. imo the worst part about the 2048 card is just that it can take like a good 10 minutes to actually win a game but i guess with how much they were fucking about that isn't too long lmfao
@frostyclouded Жыл бұрын
"Go outside and touch grass" Me who lives in a house where the front and back yards are concrete and bricks and the nearest park is a 30 minute walk away
@acer8123 Жыл бұрын
bro what the hell thats just fucked up
@andre1dewilbert Жыл бұрын
Better get walking.
@thewanderingmistnull2451 Жыл бұрын
You need a planter that just has grass growing in it
@bigbird4481 Жыл бұрын
Sounds like a prison
@ryanferrel3646 Жыл бұрын
Get a corn cob and bring it outside. Corn is technically a grass. Any true cereal grain will do, really.
@CapnCoconuts Жыл бұрын
Remember folks, the geneva convention is a checklist, and this board game passed with flying colors
@x3non6167 ай бұрын
I'd suggest that the "Everyone goes back to start" card is instead put in a second extra deck that is only drawn from when a deck needs to be reshuffled which has semi-permanent effects.
@drdiabeetus4419 Жыл бұрын
Vale : "So now Novel is an Old Man, a Horse, and is speaking in LoTR Quotes" [32:13] Novel : "At this point can I just be fucking Gandalf, **neigh** :(" _My Asthmatic Lungs were not ready for that..._
@X-SPONGED Жыл бұрын
It was the Star Wars Shrek car that did me in
@dracothewarrior4316 Жыл бұрын
“Using shift with your thumb” just unlocked a core memory of mine about some fucking freak in a streamer discord I was in who was convinced that using your keyboard like that was was completely natural and normal, and the dude had like a 4 inch long thumb and thought everyone else was crazy.
@Kozmokast Жыл бұрын
Which Shift key?? Did he reach all the way from his mouse to RS, or from WASD to RS?
@aeldariambitions6334 Жыл бұрын
I have a friend who does that and it drives me up the fucking wall
@ivgorm9365 Жыл бұрын
Mumbo Jumbo?
@jasmineHeartTech Жыл бұрын
i also thought mumbo jumbo lol
@sleepingguard01 Жыл бұрын
Thats how I used to use the shift key all the time, since using my pinky was rather uncomfortable
@randomfurrygirl548 Жыл бұрын
Vale, I would love a physical version of this board game to make my friends cry, their suffering is my joy, and I love your channel
@ManBehindTheScreen Жыл бұрын
Just based off the start, this reminds me of a board game some friends and I made. It was like the game of life but it was full of terrible things that could happen to your person. The starting portion is very similar.
@cakeface03 Жыл бұрын
You actually did it. You predicted the video
@taxavation4 ай бұрын
Next video is simply going to be “I tortured my friends” and it’s just Vale forcing his friends to go through SAS training
"everyone goes back to start" means that the more players there are the more impossible the game becomes
Boutta host a 25 player game
@@cryst4l_clear456 🎶This is the game that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started playing and not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing forever just becuase this is the game that never ends...🎶
@@syrusgrove8682 Even though i never watched that show, I understand that reference
@@nfortyeight what show is it
@@zixvirzjghamn737 search, the song that doesn’t end
"I'm afraid it's the new deal, brought by FDR to the United States" fucking killed me
Brilliant
18:48
I know, haha. I've never laughed harder in my life watching a video. In the middle of the night, no less!
E
@@EEEEEEEEF
This *desperately* needs a public release
Fr tho!
I’d love to play this with friends. It’d make me go crazy, but in a good way.
YES PLEASE
with some modifications, it would be really good.
No Please No
The clown board seems like a pleasant place to be, since you don't have to draw any pain cards. For future versions of the game, make the clown board more painful.
Clown board is just the Matrix
“The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.” “They killed my wife.” Best exchange, hands down.
"I'm afraid that in your anger you have killed her."
45:41
@@mxm23adregalusandmore62 goat
They sounded like bots on Reddit. It was great 😅
Actual real life copies when?
*The hardest quest in any video game "Go Outside And Touch Grass"*
truly impossible
What do you think about this 3:33
🎩 🪳 Look! Its The Spiffing Brit!
Sir! Today I had many glasses of yorkshire tea!
@@prodrom it do be me...
That ending killed me, you can't even flip the board to vent your frustration. You are a monster for making this game. I love you.
E
@@darthvader8744 sports
@@ProfessionalBugLover ITS IN THE GAME
609thliker
that ending killed you like they killed my wife
‘Groog want egg” “Courage is found in unlikely places” “Richard?” “Neigh neigh” “Grooog” It is indeed a fucking disaster
Yeah that's right Richard, care I do not CLICK CLOCK CLICK CLOCK
34:21
The only game where you have to memorize the Bible and several released CIA documents to stand a chance
Finally im actually useful
Remembering the bible wouldn't even help you in here.
The Bible isn't gonna help much with those questions.
don't forget about the most obscure paradox questions
the bible won't help you with deep catholic lore
"She couldn't stay your little girl forever, Jim. Beep beep." My sides.
"Richard"
“They killed my wife”
COPE-LAND COPE-LAND COPE-LAND
ㅤㅤㅤ
That JUST happened in the video as I read the comment
The [redacted] deck is probably the funniest thing I've seen in years. Every single card was pure gold. I would like a copy.
I wanted to play this with my friends the other day and the moment I saw it wasn't on the workshop CRUSHED me. I so wanted to introduce them to the chaos on display here
It's so sad that it has been retroactively added to the Geneva Convention in its fifth and final amendment
i was really expecting "you 'win'" to just unveil an entire second board
Me simulater
to really win you have to not suffer, that's why it is called "you "win""
YES
I'ma make a copy of this board, and make more levels for this board.
Temple of Madness
Next video: "I invented an actual honest-to-god physical torture device and locked my friends in it", followed by "building a torture device in federal prison"
If anything he’ll get hired by the feds to be the new warden at Gitmo.
@Anna ♪ bad timing edit: and ironic somewhat
@@johnsteampunk6408 What the hell is behind those links?
Isn't this what Michael Reeves used to make? Maybe Valefisk can get some inspiration from his videos.
@@theangrymilitant they're just spam bots
"Now, I am not a cruel man" I love how he keeps repeating this line, knowing nobody will believe him
“Charles deGaul is right between General Grevieous and Patrick Bateman” laughed so hard at that
“For you see, Young Skywalker, I have 1 Gregor Samsa buck in my possession” I’m framing this
They killed my wife
E
Copeland.
@@alexandersean4708 yea that's right Richard I don't care
35:52
Secret alternative pain deck: If a player is speaking in a French accent or imitating Charles De Gaulle when they land on Pain, they get a card from an alternative deck with bread-themed, mostly positive cards.
Okay this is funny
He *was* pretty lucky irl
pain card 1: go make toast pain card 2: have a sandwich :) if you're under the conditions for pain cards and not pain cards then you're. running out of bread
"your baguette crumbled. go back to the last pain tile and draw from the pain deck"
“If bread in french is pain, then I own a fucking bakery” -Literally pick anyone in this video
the most torturous part of this game is that it's crossed beyond the barrier of the video and affects the viewer because we can't play the game for ourselves. truly the most torturous part of the game
I can't imagine the confusion somebody watching with the sound off would've experienced seeing "they killed my wife" keep popping up. This game seems like the best and worst time of someone's life simultaneously
I just thought of a way to make the "everyone go back" card less painful, yet more chaotic. Add an option in the shop to remove that card from the draw pile and put it in the discard pile. If the players don't want this card drawn, someone will have to pay for it every-time the draw pile is remade. Which means, it becomes an interesting variant of the prisoner dilemma, wherein each player has the option of spending their precious money on this, or be greedy and hope someone else pay for it.
That's an amazing idea hahaha
even worse: add an option to pay to add it back into the draw pile someone loosing horrendous can now bring everyone else down with them, sowing discord and chaos.
@@laniaki463 oh god, you are a mad man
@@laniaki463 R/Madlads
@@laniaki463 Even better if you make it cheap to put back. Like $1 dollar cheap.
I genuinely want to play this game with my friends but it would be absolutely fucking unplayable because of all the inside jokes and references that none of us would get
I feel like the distrubtion version of this game is one with "[insert in-joke here]" for the game master to fill in and the table top simulator tutorials valefisk used.
Gotta customize your own board for the friend group.
if it doesn't exist, make it yourself.
it's also mathematically impossible to win
make your own
To be fair, if Vale DID play, imagine him trying to GM while being an Italian Shrek who can only quote Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it would be an actual nightmare.
Considering that the "Win" in "You "Win"" was in quotations I thought if you land on it there was gonna be a card that said something like: "You realize that it's the journey, not the destination that matters. Go back to start". Considering that the last game Vale made was unbeatable, I’m surprised that this one was beatable. He was so merciful.
instead of going back to start, it makes you go to a mirrored version of the board.
It should just reveal a whole second board even worse than the first
Technically, it wasn’t. Because he had to take a card out of circulation for them to ACTUALLY progress
@@RealCoolstriker64 oh God. Imagine if the card he removed is what the O.C was proposing... That would just be cruel.
@@kaiseremotion854, It’s just Castlevania.
Very sad Vale cut out my defence of libertarianism in French when I was Charles De Gaulle
Convince him to give you the clip so that it can be shared
French is basically gibberish and we already heard the defence in gibberish.
I genuinely need a clip of this. j’aime la pensée de la tête français pendant la Seconde Guerre mondiale défendant le libertarianisme
LOL
Lmao
A way to make this game more balanced is replace the "Everyone goes back to start :)" with 2 "Everyone else goes back to start :)"
I love that, even though he is in agony, Vale still commits to the dumb trick questions on the Paradox Quiz Show.
I love how every so often we just get a sad "they killed my wife" for no apparent reason. Also, Gregor Samsa Bucks made me laugh way too hard
I didn't kill my wife.
What was worse was that there was 2 of them and not once in this video did the other say "I don't care" when the other said "I didn't kill my wife."
@@xyz3524 I knew it was Richard all along. He's the one who did it
"You have no money. Too bad. You remain as Star Wars Shrek making car noises." I love this channel.
E
I have a bad feeling about this VROOM KACHOW
@@actuallyIDontExist get out of my parking garage
@@ProfessionalBugLover no
That's the future capitalists want lmao
10:10 (*casually pulls out redacted CIA documents*)
This is my first and favorite Valefisk video. Whenever I feel sad, or sick, or bored, or need something as background noise, this is one of the videos I always come back to. Thank you, Valefisk, for bringing me joy through the torment of your friends. I only wish I could be this problematic while keeping my friends and sanity. Truly, you are a role model I will look up to for years to come. XD
I love how the guy who got Joe Biden just did a Senator Armstrong impression instead and everybody went with it. Edit: Hey KZhead, it would have been nice to know that editing my comment to correct a typo would have deleted the heart that Valefisk gave me before I did so.
But as for now, our protagonist Raiden with Biden
What are you talking about, thats clearly biden.
@@orangetabby7122 Joe Raiden.
That was closer to a macho man impression than Armstrong
@@breckhodges3177 What’s the difference?
Here’s an idea for a pain card: Set a timer for an hour, and if the game hasn’t ended when it goes off, everybody goes back to start.
Given the number of back to start conditions, I think it might be unnecessary.
@@rafaelmarkos4489 Yes but with this one the pain isn't instant. You have to live with the existential dread that it doesn't matter how much progress you’re making, as unless you finish the game, everything you worked for is gonna be gone.
To make it a bit more fun, whenever you grab it again, the timer extends just a bit, so people would have to through the pain (lol) faster in order to have a chance at this
@@user-zw7zp3jg5f yea give them 1 extra minute each time they pick it up
@@vulkarma741 nah 1 whole hour
Still waiting for Vale to release this on the workshop
Actually the only way to win quickly is to draw the "dementia card" and claim you already won.
Next Valefisk video: "I Invented A New Torture Device To Torture My Friends"
sensing a pattern here yet?
I Put My Friends In An IRL Saw Trap For $10,000! (Not Clickbait)
"Myself included."
@@Valefisk make a crypt sequel that only changes the color with one more puzzle, and claim you completely overhauled the game for your next victims
Are they even friends at this point?
The problem with the "everyone goes back to start" card was the number of players you had. Increasing the players rattled through the deck faster than in your testing, so there wasn't enough time between resets. It makes the winning strategy just enduring the pain and aiming to collect up enough cash to buy victory.
Ah capitalism
@@Udle101 not exactly
@@binguloid pay to win
So....what you are saying is that his toture method is unintentionally better then expected
@@binguloid actually, pretty much exactly capitalism. The only difference is this one was deliberately designed to be unnecessary torture, while the only reason Capitalism is like that is due to humans *really* hating actually fixing their systems when upgrades become available IRL. They're fine with pointlessly trying to find ways to persecute each other though, but that's neither here nor there, although it might be a good add on for Vale's next game.
27:30 debut of "they killed my wife"
This is like a Sadist being given the tools to create Calvin Ball and I am *all here for it*
Valefisk at the start of the year: "I've decided I want to become a youtuber full time" Valefisk in the middle of the year: "Scratch that, I want to become a torturer full time"
The perfect arc
Torture is like fun, except with fun more than one person is happy
Without context, "They killed my wife." is so out of left field and it's hilarious
E
@@EEEEEEEE E
@@lonelyincorporated1583 E
@@dewfeather8209 E
@@alexandersean4708 E
I love how it didn't matter who won at the end; everyone was just glad it had ended! That's how you know it's a quality game! 😆
Its a feature shared by only the very best, and very worst games.
the fact that at 51:24 we can see it landing on Palpatine instead of Gunray is just awesome
I love how seemingly half of the cards force players to speak in quotes, add random noises to sentences or just straight up gibberish. It's the tower of Babel all over again
Соя имба
@@duftx this goes hard
@@thesalad943 im cryin and shakin rn
@@duftx Вареная фасоль
It's crazy because if they actually worked together they would be finished by the 3 hour mark. But for some reason winning an arbitrary game was too appealing
I think part of the problem was that it took a few hours to figure out how they needed to work together. I wouldn't have thought that there was a way _to_ work together until after the "Everyone goes back to the start, lol" card was mentioned...
@@timothymclean to
I only thought if one player can give money to another, everyone just need to save $100 together
How can they work together?
@@coconoisette if they agree have one person go forward and everyone else always choose "return to start" it would minimize the chance of return to start appearing
"they killed my wife" gets me every time
25:23 I died laughing, this is such an oddly specific question lol.
Seems like the key is to nominate one person as the savior, and then get everyone else stuck on clown boards just going in loops so they can't land on pain spots and reset.
when are you coming back to dynamite max
The meta is forming...
Ah, Christianity
yeah because theres a pain card that send everyone back to start so you cant win if there are too many players they eat through the cards and send everyone back alternative tactic is everyone conspires to spend all there money sending them back so they can stay near the money tiles near the start
kinda feels like the best strategy is to just endure the negative effects as much as possible and just quietly roll for money until you have $100 to pay to win the game.
I like how she says "I took a painkiller" after all these Pain cards. Also, this seems like an excellent game for a bunch of drunks friends to play.
I fear for the physical safety of your face or your computer and it's accessories nay, I say, to the proposed statement
@@Rekkuza-eu6sp *WOLOLO*
@@Rekkuza-eu6sp somebody drew the Catholicism card
E
Except if you have a severely hungover friend and said person has to do ten push-ups or go back to the start
The only person to make his friends choose to live in purgatory (the clown board) instead of exist in the agony that is Vales presence.
27:00 here is where I completely lost it 🤣🤣
"Please let this be a normal game" "With Valefisk? No way!"
Magic school's theme begins playing but its earrape.
C R U I S I N O N D O W N M A I N S T R E E T
Cruisin on down pain street
Cruisin' on down pain street I am not a cru-el man Next thing that you know, it's... Everyone go back to start :)
@@DoritosAndMountainDew relaxed and feelin good
11:03 The hell I actually would've know the answer to that question. Since I'm a Finn, my dad has told me about the Winter War between Finland and Russia in 1939. Afte the war, Finland agreed to pay war indemnities to Russia. For some reason, I would always remember quite precisely the details about the payment. This included over 100 ships and huge amounts of timber, forestry and metal industry products. Frying pans for example. All this would amount to over 300 million US dollars, which when converted to Russian rubles, will amount to roughly 17,5 billion rubles.
17.5 billion back then or now? That’s cool though.
@@robertdolcetti450 Back then I'm assuming.
Finland is such a neat country, not to mention the great legends who rose from that time. Simo Hayha, and Lauri Taurni. The White Death, and The Traveling Hero (that's what I call Lauri Taurni, considering his history.)
@@airplanemaniacgaming7877 I'm glad to see someone who is well informed on Finlands history
@@Zeppe2 I learned of both thanks to a certain Swedish metal band with historically themed lyrics. That also just so happens to have gotten a holy artifact from the Church of Poland. Delivered by the Archbishop of said Church himself at a concert.
22:11 you had a chance to Rick roll everyone
48:19 - Metal Gear Rising
Vale. My god Vale I know what must be done. What game allows for more gaslighting and bullshit than any other? Thats right, a TTRPG dungeon crawl. Build the single most hellish Dungeon imaginable and force them to fight through it. Even better, pitch different genres and styles of games to all your players so they each come with the most disjointed, out of place character possible.
YES
Yyyyyseeeeee
My personal favourite trap suggestion. You allow the players to observe a 31ft long corridor. At the end of this corridor is a corner turn leading to an indestructible, locked door. At the start of the corridor is a trap warning, crushing plates of instant death for anyone who steps into the corridor, but they only trigger 50% of the time. No tricks. No skills or ways out of it. Just a 50/50 chance of death every time you cross the corridor. But what about the locked door you ask? Well, scrawled in black chalk are nordic symbols which correctly translate to "the key is hidden behind the sign." The players are then forced to possibly cross back over just to get the key, then again to unlock the door. Which would then turn out to be a dead end
@@timeenoughatlast3368 And just a cherry, have the germanic runic alphabets be mixed up and all written as bindrunes, to make translation that much more difficult- but in reality the sign has a decorative border that is actually secret instructions in Ogham of how to find a series of buttons in the corridor you have to press in an order, only to do nothing
@@veszimardalath9739 genius inclusion!
"I am not a cruel man" - person who made an awful geoguesser tournament
That’s because cruel doesn’t begin to describe them
40:45 made me laugh way harder than it should've
At 38:17 I took so so so much effort to not explosively spit out the soda from my mouth in laughter
This guy just took the “ruins friendship” aspect of every board game and made it into a board game
when the "make a defence for anarcho-primitivism" card came up, I was honestly expecting him to just pull up the Unabomber's Manifesto
Ooga booga grug think industrial revolution consequences been disaster to grugan race.
return to monke
Not much of a defense then
31:26 Chamber’s ping is 999. I don’t care what you say, that’s impressive.
What if instead of removing the "everyone back to start" card after some time, certain spaces were outlined and if you're in one of those you get to stay there? perhaps the final loop could be fully protected, or maybe all but one, and in general they're sorta like chance checkpoints randomly scattered across the board
you get reset to these chechpoints instead of back to the start
but if that were to happen then i would get rid of that cards entire purpose sure people would go back to start but not everyone like the card says and we gotta follow the rules now trust me its better this way
This is keeps hitting harder and harder. I didn't think we were going to get Senator Armstrong from memory that late in the game.
"Nanomachines, son" - Joe Biden
"Tremendously based Joe Biden" is a phrase I never thought I would hear edit: fixed the quote
*"I'm not a cruel man"* _Press X to doubt_ Finally a board game that can torture the boys 😂
as he said that the insane monopoly video popped up on the i button, comedic gold I tell you
Raylight
Oh, I heard I'm not a cool man....
I casually heard that line half a second after reading your comment. *X files music.
Plus tortures the girls (Do 10 push-ups while suffering from a hangover).
"For you see young Skywalker, I have one Gregor samsa buck in my possession."
Marking 14:38. One of my favorite soundbites from any video ever. Better than Bill Jensen.
"Cocolate" is probably due to bad OCR when scanning a printed document directly to PDF. That is why many legal documents online have spelling errors, they're typically printed out in a serif font like Times New Roman where some of the details are hard to parse by the software.
Because I'm a huge nerd I actually looked up the document. The official one doesn't have the spelling error. Also the actual recipes are about 1 page long. The rest is a lot of very specific anti-'there ain't no rule' legalese about the quality of the ingredients, the way they want it packaged, and the way they're going to inspect the final product.
The easy solution is to make the "everyone goes back to start" card a single-use card
A single use card that is thrown in on the 2nd or 3rd pass of the cards, otherwise it loses its luster.
He should add another deck with single use cards that just have the most cruel punishments possible
18:04 the illusion of choice
Everybody gangsta till valefisk whips out the pdfs
This feels like an AI generated this game and just had a stack overflow 2 seconds in
I'd unironically like to play this with my friends myself. Maybe with alcohol involved. And me running the game rather than playing. And, probably even more alcohol.
Play the imposible game he mentions at the begining of the video to get a taste of it
Same
Drink every time you get went back to the start.
I’d say make it yourself so you can tailor the torture to your friends
satan has lost his job to you
How to make it even better: First to win wins, but the game is only beat once _all_ players reach win. ~Darkstalker
I wish I had a friend group that would legitimately play this with me
The fact I sat here for about an hour watching “ they killed my wife “ is astonishing
At 18:00 - idea for a modification to the game: Make certain negative effects be contagious, so that if someone lands on the same space as another it can get passed to them too.
This would also make the Pain deck get progressively larger as copies of the cards get sent to the discard when removed or replaced, making the game more viable with larger player amounts without removing the "everyone return to start" card from play. Not a bad idea at all.
18:52 - I mean that's rather vague, you'll have to be more specific- oh it's a joke card of course, I should have known
You know it's a good game if everyone celebrates at the end even if they lose
At this point I'm fully convinced Vale is a direct descendant of Marquis de Sade
my money is on Phalaris of acragas
Truly this is just the board game adaptation of 120 days of Sodom
32:34 "make a defence for libertarianism in gibberish" is perhaps the best thing I have ever heard
im sick af and i read that as librarian :(
E
I was crying laughing
@@EEEEEEEE E
I'm so curious who was dying laughing during that segment x)
I got unskippable youtube adds interupting me 4 times during this video. Cudos to them for making the viewers not only watch but experience the intense torture theme of the video xD
40:38 As a fellow german I approve of this message
"I'm not a cruel man" and other hilarious jokes you can tell to your friends
naming suggestion: the game of purgatory anyway, please make this puplicly available in the workshop and if you do please add a feature that lets you add your own prompts. that would be so awesome
And if you follow the Pope on Twitter the game gets shorter ;)
@@FaustY2K If you successful run for president of the united states you get to move forward one space
or just: purgatory
"He's still going" I mean, that's fair. Once I start going on the intro bit for "The Death of God's Will" from Ultrakill, the video game and electrical crack simulator, I can't stop. From "Machine, I will cut you down" to "My hands shall RELISH ending you, here and NOW!" I just have to because otherwise the transition isn't as awesome.
To be clear when he said ich bin ein turn he said I am a turn
Anyone recall that old story about the knight that plays chess with the grim reaper to try and extend his life? Imagine if the knight pulled this b++++++t out.
Infinite life
Oooooo bullshit spooky
@@kirbywithlegs98 My comments with swearing get hidden by KZhead more often, and little experiments like this show me how often comments are shadow banned.
@@ivorymantis1026 wait is this real? Wtf
@@juliewinchester1488 Try it yourself. Make a comment where you would normally swear then make a comment where you don't swear. Big tech has always restricted speech, they can't help it; it's in their nature.
I'm just impressed you have friends that would actually be willing to try to play such a game
Not anymore
Seriously, I'd love to i give this a go, but my friends would 100% quit after like five minutes
I may genuinely have gotten an uncharacteristic unstoppable nosebleed every time I have watched this video...still want a physical copy of the game tho
This video is cursed, you will soon join the hive mind
This is literally the worst aspect of every board game rolled up with 10 month old garbage and seasoned with the tears of a LoL player. This unholy abomination doesn’t deserve to exist and yet paradoxically, since it feeds off the suffering of others, it’s stays alive because it’s mere presence causes pain to all who witness it. 10/10 video, would definitely like to grab some people and play this.
As someone who still has 2048 installed on their phone from when that was popular, and still plays it regularly. That 2048 card is brutal, there are a few strategies for the game but an immense part of it is just luck of where the next number spawns, and all it takes is one bad spawn to end a run.
2048 lore
If you know what you're doing you can get 2048 basically every time. 4096 too, 8192 is alot harder
@@hankglidden1463 yeah idk what this guy is talking about, i can get 2048 probably 80% consistently and when i dont its typically human error
@@suburbanshrub6675 same this was legit like the only 'challenge' i could do without ripping my hair out.... god forbid i get chess cause i don't know how to play my uncle tried teaching me a few times and that went horribly....
it is fairly luck based but as someone who's played it for maybe six years or so, as soon as i got my first 2048 it somehow instantly became easier to me. bad luck can kill a run or at least make it a lot more inconvenient but if you know how to adapt your strategy a little then it's not usually a big deal. imo the worst part about the 2048 card is just that it can take like a good 10 minutes to actually win a game but i guess with how much they were fucking about that isn't too long lmfao
"Go outside and touch grass" Me who lives in a house where the front and back yards are concrete and bricks and the nearest park is a 30 minute walk away
bro what the hell thats just fucked up
Better get walking.
You need a planter that just has grass growing in it
Sounds like a prison
Get a corn cob and bring it outside. Corn is technically a grass. Any true cereal grain will do, really.
Remember folks, the geneva convention is a checklist, and this board game passed with flying colors
I'd suggest that the "Everyone goes back to start" card is instead put in a second extra deck that is only drawn from when a deck needs to be reshuffled which has semi-permanent effects.
Vale : "So now Novel is an Old Man, a Horse, and is speaking in LoTR Quotes" [32:13] Novel : "At this point can I just be fucking Gandalf, **neigh** :(" _My Asthmatic Lungs were not ready for that..._
It was the Star Wars Shrek car that did me in
“Using shift with your thumb” just unlocked a core memory of mine about some fucking freak in a streamer discord I was in who was convinced that using your keyboard like that was was completely natural and normal, and the dude had like a 4 inch long thumb and thought everyone else was crazy.
Which Shift key?? Did he reach all the way from his mouse to RS, or from WASD to RS?
I have a friend who does that and it drives me up the fucking wall
Mumbo Jumbo?
i also thought mumbo jumbo lol
Thats how I used to use the shift key all the time, since using my pinky was rather uncomfortable
Vale, I would love a physical version of this board game to make my friends cry, their suffering is my joy, and I love your channel
Just based off the start, this reminds me of a board game some friends and I made. It was like the game of life but it was full of terrible things that could happen to your person. The starting portion is very similar.
You actually did it. You predicted the video
Next video is simply going to be “I tortured my friends” and it’s just Vale forcing his friends to go through SAS training
Serial Attached SCSI
ah, even more push ups
But it only ends when everyone is dead
Also they only get to drink alcohol