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Mating with Everything that Moves in Crusader Kings II

Valefisk
2024 ж. 28 Сәу.
293 897 Рет қаралды
Жүктеу

i regret nothing.
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Crusader Kings II
Crusader Kings III
==================Source Credit Stuff=======================
Royalty Free Music by audiomicro.com/royalty-free-music
Sound Effects by audiomicro.com/sound-effects
========================================================
#vale2020#gaming#memes

Пікірлер

  • I haven't talked to my dad in 15 year, It's good to see he's doing well.

    @iSorrowproductions@iSorrowproductions4 жыл бұрын

    • Me too.

      @f.palmero5010@f.palmero50104 жыл бұрын

    • When I last saw him, he said that he's buying milk

      @BruhBruh-nt1xl@BruhBruh-nt1xl4 жыл бұрын

    • Hey son

      @nilsneier5558@nilsneier55584 жыл бұрын

    • @@nilsneier5558 daddy?

      @f.palmero5010@f.palmero50104 жыл бұрын

    • hes just gone to get beer

      @adelahsan7432@adelahsan74324 жыл бұрын

  • “Let’s focus on any woman with a pulse” *next video* “We need to EXPAND our horizons, any woman, dead or alive.”

    @IvanSidaruk@IvanSidaruk4 жыл бұрын

    • You're to close minded... that tree stump looks pretty thicc.

      @ocyra2590@ocyra25904 жыл бұрын

    • "alright necrophilia wasent enough, lets get that fanfic magic and get the men pregnant

      @seelcudoom1@seelcudoom14 жыл бұрын

    • @@seelcudoom1 And have them give birth out of their dicks! Yes, I did that just to see men suffer.

      @Enchie@Enchie4 жыл бұрын

    • Ива́н Васи́льевич not only the men but the women and children too

      @Princeofbelka@Princeofbelka4 жыл бұрын

    • Zoophilia is not enough! You need Protogent!

      @Azelicee@Azelicee4 жыл бұрын

  • "any woman with a pulse" this is discrimination towards dead women!

    @mikavituhandle@mikavituhandle4 жыл бұрын

    • well, who said he didnt try?

      @powerthunfischdesdonners3086@powerthunfischdesdonners30864 жыл бұрын

    • Only women? How about female being?

      @stygian8049@stygian80494 жыл бұрын

    • Necrophilia is easy!

      @inciacci549@inciacci5494 жыл бұрын

  • Can you imagine how much one must drink when they have 10 children and 20 lovers but their alcohol abuse is what they are known for

    @timpyrules@timpyrules4 жыл бұрын

    • anything to ease the constant post-nut pain

      @bathshebahubber614@bathshebahubber6143 жыл бұрын

    • @@bathshebahubber614 those are some TF2 demoman levels of drinking. And he replaced his guts with a booze factory to stay permanently drunk!

      @isaacmayer-splain8974@isaacmayer-splain8974 Жыл бұрын

    • @@isaacmayer-splain8974 he did? God I love tf2

      @fukkthisnewupdate8882@fukkthisnewupdate8882 Жыл бұрын

  • "Hey babe, just so you know, I invited a few friends to come over. I hope you don't mind." * 1,126 single women show up *

    @whynot-tomorrow_1945@whynot-tomorrow_19454 жыл бұрын

  • A Chance for Slavomir, Captain of Gondor, to Show his Quality

    @Valefisk@Valefisk4 жыл бұрын

    • And his Dk

      @f.palmero5010@f.palmero50104 жыл бұрын

    • Valefisk can u bring communism in cruseider kings I wanna se a gulag in medieval time

      @zoranivanov3840@zoranivanov38404 жыл бұрын

    • You still make videos? I thought this was a dead channel so I unsubbed.

      @DelightfulTyrant@DelightfulTyrant4 жыл бұрын

    • I had a high chief of Poland have a son named Drogomir, he became the first wendish emperor

      @Ace_011@Ace_0114 жыл бұрын

    • great vid but your voice kind of sounds muffled like it's coming from some distance away.

      @MrShadowtruth@MrShadowtruth4 жыл бұрын

  • he's reached the point where he is so fertile he reproduces by spore cloud

    @darkwingduke1631@darkwingduke16314 жыл бұрын

    • So basically the way fish do it but airborne

      @eracer166@eracer1664 жыл бұрын

    • @@eracer166 When a remotely alive female is in the general area he releases a massive white cloud

      @darkwingduke1631@darkwingduke16314 жыл бұрын

    • He is an Ork now.

      @XenosImplyer@XenosImplyer4 жыл бұрын

    • @@XenosImplyer He is Ork+

      @darkwingduke1631@darkwingduke16314 жыл бұрын

    • HEZ DA REEL ORK BOSS DA GREATEST BOSS EVA.

      @samuelbousfield4342@samuelbousfield43424 жыл бұрын

  • "... going through the entirety of the female single market in Europe..." I mean, I'm sure that *wasn't* what the European leaders envisioned when they made the European single market...

    @arafdi@arafdi4 жыл бұрын

    • ...but it's a nice byproduct nevertheless!

      @GandWizard@GandWizard4 жыл бұрын

  • "Why would I want to make the horse immortal?" Makes the horse immortal.

    @C00kiesAplenty@C00kiesAplenty4 жыл бұрын

    • Why would you not make the horse immortal?

      @isaacmayer-splain8974@isaacmayer-splain8974 Жыл бұрын

  • Genghis khan: finally a worthy opponent!

    @rephaelkurziner6522@rephaelkurziner65224 жыл бұрын

    • OUR BATTLE WILL BE LEGENDARY!

      @theemperorschosen7607@theemperorschosen76074 жыл бұрын

    • Anything fleshy: ono

      @spencerhamilton2557@spencerhamilton25574 жыл бұрын

    • @@spencerhamilton2557 Fleshly? Nah, lust Argonian maid 2 electric boogaloo!

      @theemperorschosen7607@theemperorschosen76074 жыл бұрын

    • @The Nova renaissance What about Solumen. It was said in the Bible that he had over a 1000 Wives and Concubines. :3

      @eldrenofthemist2492@eldrenofthemist24924 жыл бұрын

    • He mounted everything that moved tho

      @Jack-iv1ed@Jack-iv1ed4 жыл бұрын

  • "Fuck it we're making the horse immortal" and it was at that point I lost my shit.

    @RingshadowCat@RingshadowCat3 жыл бұрын

  • ''Taking any line from this video out of context is gonna sound horrible'' -Valefisk 2020

    @janczy9206@janczy92064 жыл бұрын

    • Specially this one tbqh

      @pedrolmlkzk@pedrolmlkzk4 жыл бұрын

    • I watched the entire video (my gosh, I watched the entire video?!) in context and the quotes still sound horrible xD

      @owlblocksdavid4955@owlblocksdavid49554 жыл бұрын

    • I can't believe he fucking said that my god what a horrible person

      @alicestolze8327@alicestolze83273 жыл бұрын

    • Ew, god, what a weirdo.

      @yarinoi8662@yarinoi8662 Жыл бұрын

  • "...are we farming them", idk bro, looks like its you who is being milked here

    @exitioregem8466@exitioregem84664 жыл бұрын

  • My man single handedly caused a population spike

    @Spoon80085@Spoon800854 жыл бұрын

    • Single duckedly?

      @MrOrangeJoe@MrOrangeJoe4 жыл бұрын

  • There is something fitting about Vale using "Tip of the Spear" from the Halo: Reach soundtrack at the end of this video. ISP's Dad was certainly using the tip of his spear.

    @zanolsena@zanolsena4 жыл бұрын

  • The Virgin English Ratboys vs The Chad Bohemian Thatchers

    @Blackstormeagle@Blackstormeagle4 жыл бұрын

  • "Let me talk without giving birth!" -Valefisk 2020

    @bokybok3558@bokybok35584 жыл бұрын

    • Imagine fucking your way into owning Italy.

      @wojak-sensei6424@wojak-sensei6424 Жыл бұрын

  • Is every single time Vale leaves for weeks just another trip to the Hague for warcrime trials?

    @lazerninjastudios9827@lazerninjastudios98274 жыл бұрын

    • I have been liked by Vale my life is now complete. Time to commit tax fraud and end this life off on a high note

      @lazerninjastudios9827@lazerninjastudios98274 жыл бұрын

    • The answer to your question is Yes. I have seen him more than a hundred times in our courts. The only reason he gets off the hook is that he bribes me, the Scottish representative, with copious amounts of alcohol.

      @Azure_Razgriz@Azure_Razgriz4 жыл бұрын

    • @@lazerninjastudios9827 Senpai noticed you!

      @Liuhuayue@Liuhuayue4 жыл бұрын

  • "I accidentally married a Bulgarian Princess"- Valefisk, 8th Century

    @its_dippy6779@its_dippy67794 жыл бұрын

  • At 15600% fertility you can make men preganant

    @do-nothingbear9474@do-nothingbear94744 жыл бұрын

  • "Mating with Everything that Moves in Crusader Kings II" Me: Thats my chance! Finally!

    @Sam-dc1hz@Sam-dc1hz4 жыл бұрын

  • This should have been labeled “Consensual Genghis Khan Simulator”

    @wizardofaus7013@wizardofaus70134 жыл бұрын

    • Charlemagne simulator

      @maleexile9053@maleexile90534 жыл бұрын

  • Woman: *Dies of stress* Vale: "You think your stressed?"

    @quinn4968@quinn49682 жыл бұрын

  • Now we know where the incels from stellaris came from

    @jameshamlyn2177@jameshamlyn21774 жыл бұрын

    • *That's heresy*

      @alphariusfuze8089@alphariusfuze80894 жыл бұрын

  • "the bubonic plague cant kill us all if we keep popping out more kids"

    @seelcudoom1@seelcudoom14 жыл бұрын

  • This isnt Hoi4 in a nutshell wtf

    @LynxHylix@LynxHylix4 жыл бұрын

    • LynxHylix I see your on the hoi4 train as well

      @teddy5752@teddy57524 жыл бұрын

    • Pathetic I only play hoi3

      @Enzo_honey@Enzo_honey4 жыл бұрын

    • Lieutenant Enzy I play hoi2 CHECKMATE

      @Vlad-mt7hu@Vlad-mt7hu4 жыл бұрын

    • This is what hoi4 is like for me. What game have you been playing?

      @owlblocksdavid4955@owlblocksdavid49554 жыл бұрын

    • @@Enzo_honey YEAH!

      @dandhiari7144@dandhiari71444 жыл бұрын

  • "111! Holy shit we have 111 children!" Well Genghis Khan had 125, so it's not so impossible.

    @anarchyandempires5452@anarchyandempires54524 жыл бұрын

    • Probably everyone in continental Asia is related to genghis

      @Jack-iv1ed@Jack-iv1ed4 жыл бұрын

    • @@Jack-iv1ed meanwhile, some guy from canada just flew into an airport in Kazakhstan and immediately got jumped for not being related to the great khan.

      @intelligencecube6752@intelligencecube67523 жыл бұрын

  • I love how Valefisk never realized that you can edit what messages show up as the scrolls or in the log and just soldiered through.

    @miles6492@miles64923 жыл бұрын

  • Building the Habsburg 2: Electric Boogaloo

    @edwardzero9275@edwardzero92754 жыл бұрын

  • As a Bohemian, I can say this is 100% historically accurate.

    @premasafar7813@premasafar78134 жыл бұрын

  • As if medieval Europe wasn't enough of a warzone of successions between two potential heirs, let alone the offspring of more than 500!!!

    @Cascade_Failure@Cascade_Failure4 жыл бұрын

  • "where are we even storing them" that was for sure the best sentence in this video

    @Jhrickgamer@Jhrickgamer3 жыл бұрын

  • "How does Santa make it to every house?" Well you see, he spends the rest of the year backwards long jumping into a corner to build up speed-

    @MoonPatch@MoonPatch Жыл бұрын

  • This man outbred the bubonic plague.

    @davyhurst8968@davyhurst89684 жыл бұрын

  • Someone with the patience of a saint needs to do this and go from the oldest start to the latest start.

    @PauloGarcia-sp5ws@PauloGarcia-sp5ws4 жыл бұрын

  • “And that’s how ISP, organizer of artillery only divisions and taker of children was born” “The identity of his true mother is unknown to this day”

    @ComfortsSpecter@ComfortsSpecter3 жыл бұрын

  • There's a mod that removes all other male characters from the game so that you can do this. Heard that from a friend...

    @unlimitedpanda5433@unlimitedpanda54334 жыл бұрын

  • Fun fact: pharaoh ramses II, aka ozymandias, was isp's dad in real life. He had around 200 kids, most of which illegitimate, and died at the ripe old age of about 95, which for ancient world standards is a fucking baller move (hell, even nowadays 95 is seen as pretty much more than you could realistically hope for). So yeah, weirdly enough this whole episode does have a historical precedent.

    @bonogiamboni4830@bonogiamboni48304 жыл бұрын

  • Dude is playing as a hentai protag wtf i'm buying this game

    @evann5@evann54 жыл бұрын

    • I think it's free rn. Just the dlcs are not.

      @tomasjaniczek8753@tomasjaniczek87534 жыл бұрын

    • There may be a cough cough different way to get them for free

      @FrederikSeerupNielsen@FrederikSeerupNielsen4 жыл бұрын

  • Queen Victoria: I'm the grandmother of Europe. Niels Thatcher: Bish please.

    @HiveFleetUlfang1@HiveFleetUlfang14 жыл бұрын

  • “Any woman with a pulse” damn valefisk way to single people out smh. Where my necrophilia boys at?

    @procyon6445@procyon64454 жыл бұрын

    • Here- *arrested by the FBI*

      @toasterofdoom9629@toasterofdoom96294 жыл бұрын

  • Innocent youtuber makes a video KZhead:DEMONTIZED!! Valefisk makes a video about dropping napalm, shooting with heavy tanks and other frontline weaponry at Hong Kong protesters. KZhead: I pretend I didn't see that...

    @Nothing-1w3@Nothing-1w34 жыл бұрын

    • +4500 Ducets (Chinese Sponsor)

      @Hamsterdami@Hamsterdami4 жыл бұрын

    • In all fairness, China probably gives money for that.

      @thejamman4070@thejamman40704 жыл бұрын

  • Ah yes, the Genghis Khan simulator

    @instantddeath5029@instantddeath50294 жыл бұрын

  • "The King's Brothel" is the name of the large building dedicated to.... Well we know.

    @mcsquizzy440@mcsquizzy4404 жыл бұрын

  • "Oops, I own Italy" is one of the most fucking CK2 things I've ever heard

    @archsteel7@archsteel74 жыл бұрын

  • 10:50 Don't you just hate when you accidently marry princess from Bulgaria.

    @B1smarkk@B1smarkk4 жыл бұрын

  • 17:01 "Needless to say, it's a little bit of a mess down here." Truer words were never spoken...

    @GandWizard@GandWizard4 жыл бұрын

  • "Are we farming them?" Well you are planting your seed soooo

    @owenmachinecarbine6023@owenmachinecarbine60234 жыл бұрын

  • ISP: I can’t it’s racist Valefisk: Even better

    @subparusername9172@subparusername91724 жыл бұрын

  • I love that you get to a point where you have to think of your children as percentages.

    @miauwuff3854@miauwuff38544 жыл бұрын

  • nillsputin, bohemia's greatest love machine

    @Lauren-ny9pe@Lauren-ny9pe4 жыл бұрын

  • This guy could effectively conquer the whole world with just his children, true units of an army and diplomacy 😂

    @lolmaster438@lolmaster4384 жыл бұрын

  • he's going to literally create his own small nation from scratch if left alone for a few years...

    @Arla9045@Arla90454 жыл бұрын

  • "Offspring"? Man, you're dwelling in realms where the appropriate term would be "Litter"

    @Sallafar@Sallafar4 жыл бұрын

  • I did an achievement run like 5 months ago, and at the last generations all I did was spread my seed. Managed to get almost 40 children with one lad, that was fun. I was planning on doing a hausberg game, no wars just breed to win next.

    @NielsMulvad@NielsMulvad4 жыл бұрын

  • Impregnate as many men as possible CK2 Challenge.

    @SpiderClaw0com@SpiderClaw0com4 жыл бұрын

  • "How does he able to go into each one every night?" *-Valefisk, 2020*

    @balintvasvari7573@balintvasvari75734 жыл бұрын

  • Animal:*makes a step* Valefisk: A move is a move

    @kreon7472@kreon74724 жыл бұрын

    • " *makes a step* "

      @jepp6419@jepp64194 жыл бұрын

    • @@jepp6419 prepare your ass you poor man

      @kreon7472@kreon74724 жыл бұрын

  • Oh my favorite confessions channel on KZhead. Let’s start the day with some Warcrimes or Morally wrong actions.

    @sarkhan_guy@sarkhan_guy4 жыл бұрын

  • You made your character so fertile all he has to do is just brush against a woman and he has to pay child support.

    @zachm9202@zachm92024 жыл бұрын

  • Asia Austria Australia "Austrasia" 18:58

    @ajrobbins368@ajrobbins3684 жыл бұрын

  • *The Habsburgs wants to know your location*

    @darykeng@darykeng4 жыл бұрын

  • Damn, Valefisk really spent so much time clicking on fertility but the maximum is 300 % anyway.

    @rexcentx2254@rexcentx22544 жыл бұрын

  • Being that you wanted your character to go after all the ladies, I think Niels Snatcher would have been a more appropriate name.

    @lewisvargrson@lewisvargrson4 жыл бұрын

  • As someone who lives in the Czech Republic (Bohemia + Moravia + Silesia) I can confirm that this is basically how it works here. Come join our *mating cult* any time!

    @JohnGAME@JohnGAME4 жыл бұрын

  • "Let me talk without giving birth, goddamn it!" Ah, yes. Of course. Edit: Also a very cool quote is "I didn't wanna own Italy, this just kinda happened on it's own."

    @kyucumbear@kyucumbear4 жыл бұрын

  • Crusader Kings II: Walter Frey simulator

    @YungCoomer@YungCoomer4 жыл бұрын

  • "I'll find another" - Lord Niels Thatcher (Frey)

    @ObligedUniform@ObligedUniform4 жыл бұрын

  • Nils: Welcome to my harem!

    @Molsam88@Molsam884 жыл бұрын

  • The Genghis Khan of Europe: Niels Thatcher

    @burnedfreedom@burnedfreedom4 жыл бұрын

  • Next video: "Mating with anything that moves as a tentacle monster."

    @Choppytehbear1337@Choppytehbear13374 жыл бұрын

  • Alternative title: More prolific than Gangis Kahn

    @AceWolf456@AceWolf4564 жыл бұрын

  • Walder Frey Simulator 2020.

    @Longshanks1690@Longshanks16904 жыл бұрын

  • Vid went public 2 minutes ago and Vale’s already planning an atrocity

    @ngngye@ngngye4 жыл бұрын

  • The Hapsburg's have nothing on the mighty Thatcherz

    @jovideos7546@jovideos75464 жыл бұрын

  • Europe isn’t enough to contain or satisfy this man. It’s time for a *WORLD TOUR*

    @catsndogs98@catsndogs984 жыл бұрын

  • This is evidence that real life is a paradox game. King Solomon was just meta-Valefisk trying to beat a record.

    @hehe8138@hehe81384 жыл бұрын

  • As a Czech, this Sunni coat of arms really offends me

    @tomasburian5082@tomasburian50824 жыл бұрын

    • It’s a joke bro

      @asnekboi7232@asnekboi72324 жыл бұрын

    • boo fucking hoo

      @TheMrFu@TheMrFu4 жыл бұрын

    • boo fucking hoo

      @TheMrFu@TheMrFu4 жыл бұрын

    • boo fucking hoo

      @TheMrFu@TheMrFu4 жыл бұрын

    • boo fucking hoo

      @TheMrFu@TheMrFu4 жыл бұрын

  • Now imagine if every single one of those children were DEMON CHILD...

    @bruceluiz@bruceluiz4 жыл бұрын

  • Black Death: *Kills a third of Europe* Niels Thatcher: My time has come

    @alicestolze8327@alicestolze83273 жыл бұрын

  • thank god you exist Vale, your shenanigans never stop being fun

    @emil3801@emil38014 жыл бұрын

  • This reminds me of a darkthrone song. "Five million women, so alone in the night. I had them all satisfied, profusely, every night by myself"

    @austinkaylor8084@austinkaylor80844 жыл бұрын

  • 5:31 you cheeky, cheeky boi. I see what you did there.

    @dmitri5214@dmitri52144 жыл бұрын

  • The moment I saw this alert in my youtube notifications I thought to myself "This is the kind of quality content I subscribe to Valefisk for.".

    @dist0rt3dhum0r@dist0rt3dhum0r4 жыл бұрын

  • Habsburgs: Tahtchers: We´re you but stronger

    @badvideosto@badvideosto4 жыл бұрын

  • The rhapsody is different from what i remember

    @pimentinha1121@pimentinha11214 жыл бұрын

  • The great Tupac Yupanqui and his 140 sons are proud of you Vale

    @dr.nosborn6330@dr.nosborn63304 жыл бұрын

  • finally a new video from my favourite KZheadr.

    @kafeelshah792@kafeelshah7924 жыл бұрын

  • Now this is the quality content I signed up for

    @terrorist-chan7866@terrorist-chan78664 жыл бұрын

  • You can easily change the concubine/wife size easily in the files, there is even a mod that does it for you. I currently have a game with over 100 wives.

    @Gulitize@Gulitize4 жыл бұрын

  • Now do the same with the Game of Thrones mod. House Hare, "If it moves, you can f*** it"

    @burkesullivan9086@burkesullivan90864 жыл бұрын

  • The true Bohemian Rhapsody.

    @boscochou9710@boscochou97104 жыл бұрын

  • Oh wow. I just noticed that you had the Nisani north of you at the start of the game. That's super interesting you could see the car people before they migrated east

    @drdiabeetus4419@drdiabeetus44194 жыл бұрын

  • Neils Thatcher ringing a hand bell and walking into the 1milex1milex1mile hypercube of stone bedchambers stacked ontop of eachother and preparing for a days work with the same look in his eye as Jeremy Hunt as he sees an old woman ready to be pushed down an escalator.

    @abg5381@abg53814 жыл бұрын

  • today on things you always wanted to try in CK2 but thought it would be insane and waste of time. Thank you for this public service

    @jonasaschenbrenner1573@jonasaschenbrenner15734 жыл бұрын

  • Now where have i've seen this one before. (looks at previous ck2 video)

    @Solll0@Solll04 жыл бұрын

  • When this doesn’t show up in my feed /methinks

    @yogocasto5905@yogocasto59054 жыл бұрын

  • Tip of the spear outro music was a nice touch

    @smigly6856@smigly68564 жыл бұрын

  • That was fucking amazing Vale :D.

    @Volthoom@Volthoom4 жыл бұрын

  • Eeeeeey! I love these videos of yours :")

    @wanderer1636@wanderer16364 жыл бұрын
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