Are Women In Charge Of The Dating Market? - Jon Birger
Jon Birger is an award-winning magazine writer, a contributor to Fortune, a dating expert and an author.
Typically men are the sexual protagonists. They're the ones who make the first move, they're the ones who come up with cheesy chat-up lines and deal with approach anxiety and rejection. But in a world where women are struggling to find men they're attracted to, what happens if this role is reversed and women start to be more proactive?
Expect to learn why the changing sex ratios on university campuses is creating a problem for men and women's dating prospects, how an experiment on dating approach-strategies earned a Nobel Prize, why it is always statistically in your advantage to make the first move, whether we can fix the problem of raising up men and much more...
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#dating #redpill #women
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00:00 Intro
03:20 Increase of Assortative Mating
10:55 Responses to Jon’s Book
17:13 The Boy Problem in Education
27:07 How #MeToo Impacted Dating
37:20 Office Romances
41:23 Distinguishing Flirting
47:44 Advantages to Women Dating Earlier
57:10 Complications for Female Choice
1:08:28 Competitive Edges for Women
1:19:20 Where to Find Jon
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Hello cult members. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 03:20 Increase of Assortative Mating 10:55 Responses to Jon’s Book 17:13 The Boy Problem in Education 27:07 How #MeToo Impacted Dating 37:20 Office Romances 41:23 Distinguishing Flirting 47:44 Advantages to Women Dating Earlier 57:10 Complications for Female Choice 1:08:28 Competitive Edges for Women 1:19:20 Where to Find Jon
I agree that older women can snach younger men easily because they know how to treat a man right and have experience. My experience with younger high quality men try to prove them selfs more to a older woman than the women at their age. I always hear men say how much they love that the older women that they hook up with cook for them and are more cairing and trustworthy.
After listening to Jon speak and looking at his countenance, I would never have guessed that HOMOSEXUAL genes passed from his lineage to his son.
@@ReverendDr.Thomaslol, and they said physiognomy wasnt a real science, its probably more useful than any science i know in daily life, i can tell just by the face, his politics and almost every stance on an issue, i will be more than 70% right. It works even easier on women like over 90% cause they have lots of accessories. He is doing a case study on one couple, with the reverse age gap, that wont fly for most men, and its because of the genz and later that compete with women cause they see them as equals atleast economically. Very fascinating, women dip down because they are forced, men are simply not marrying, too much risk, lowest marriage rates since 1850, first year of record.
I love hearing your shows but that guest is a totally joke at least. Nearly everything he said ain't true or biased thoughts
44:20 "The Suitors Advantage". Whichever party initiates the match, has a better outcome. I wonder if this is a contributing factor to why women are less happy in the marriage (and thus more likely to file the paperwork for divorce.)
This guy looks like the young version of the old man in “Up”. I can’t unsee it
Exactly... that's what came on my mind at first.😂
😂😂😂
Jims Dad in American Pie
Omg lol
the difference between being seen as creepy vs charming as a guy making the first move depends mostly on if women find you attractive.
But they uhhh NEVER wanna admit it.. no one wants to admit it or else CANCELLED
I couldn't agree more as not only do you see examples of this I felt it in my own life. I grew up after breaking my leg as a kid I became chubby and was that way through high school and my community college days. When I transferred to my 4-year school, I decided I wanted to change to get out of my shell and actually start dating, I'm old enough that this was still possible in early 2000s. I lost a lot of weight and I was very thin through my 20's, bout 180-190 up until later 20s, 190-200 In my late 20s and around 2:20 in my early 30s. There were times I put on extra weight but I always took about a year to get it all off and be back at my ideal weight and I like to walk and exercise so I was always not ripped but looked in decent shape. With my facial structure I always got handsome from a lot of women I would say I was probably a six. And for a lot of women it was good enough that even if I got turned down it was with a smile on their face. Well those times when I was heavy especially my late 30s as tragedy in different life things I really developed some mental health issues severe depression and anxiety and stress eating being a thing for me I ballooned up I was past 300 lb and lived with that for a year and a half and really developed some health issues. Good news is I work through all of that I'm off medication I was on for depression I'm losing the weight starting to reverse a lot of the health problems I had. I mention all that I wasn't in the mind today and I've been taking time off It's been 2 years since I've been laid I don't care I'm working on me I'm bettering me getting back in to good healthy habits but I have noticed body language I'm an outgoing guy People react to that but there's not as much friendliness from women than when I was thin I just know deep down if I were to approach women to try to ask a lot of girls out for a day It would not work out well for me as I'm overweight right now I would be the creepy pervert guy. So for my own life experience I know women are much different when I'm not good looking anymore I'm not handsome but I am fat and overweight and lacking confidence Now I come across as a creep to women but I get back to my ideal weight and I feel good and confident with myself and I approach women it'll be a much different story. Thank you for reading this good day to everyone
And they don't find 80-90% of men attractive. So men are walking away....go figure.
And the approach. Personal space is a tricky thing b/c everyone has a slightly different personal space and comfort zone, especially for strangers. And then some teenagers and men just say the most stupid things. Even mature men can say really stupid stuff.
As long as you approach in a respectful manner, respect boundaries and read social cues you won't come off as creepy to the average woman. If she thinks you're a creep for simply approaching respectfully, then you dodged a bullet.
I don't exactly have a large amount of sympathy for women complaining about the competition for women all seeking men above them, when men are having the SAME issue except when searching for women BELOW them.
Well said, and women can always choose to find a partner “below” them while men often can’t find anybody.
Women search for men above them more often than not. Men search for women who they are attracted to, plain and simple. It's not about her social status, unless she is a dirty bum off the street with a drug problem. We will naturally want to hide things we aren't proud of about someone we date. Women will simply go for men who are far greater than they could dream of being.and complain when they're alone right into old age.
kzhead.info/sun/idWCoc2kZHRmiHA/bejne.html
Women have to wait in line to try out as an actress. Men have to wait in line to dumpster dive.
@@bigcauc7530 to be fair, less than quality males are the abusive ones because they take out their insecurities on their significant other
Getting involved with a woman you work with is possibly one of the fastest ways possible to destroy a career. Horrible suggestion.
agreed 100%. terrible advice.
As he keeps saying, he has a female perspective (I wonder if he changed tampons before the podcast). Women don't get their careers destroyed, so it's a good option for them. It's just super risky for men who basically lose e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
Yes, he is suffering from a severe case of amnesia about sexual harassment repercussions men could face.
It's indeed extremely risky for men to do this but i can at least agree to his point that it has the benefit of you knowing that person. It's a more natural feeling relationship and you typically can expect someone to be the same at work and home. But if it goes south at ALL, you better hope you can deal with being at work and keep your job.
Yes, he makes some interesting points based on the data, but his opinions and advice seem incredibly naive. I wonder if he has been out of the dating market for so long that he’s blind to the social nuances.
"Men don't find 24 year old women more attractive than 31 year old women" How did he say that with a straight face?
Tbh I’ve reach an age where I think women that are around 18 - 24 are too annoying and immature deal with in a serious relationship no matter how attractive she is, but that’s just me
As a women I can honestly tell you, men have no clue about women’s ages. Same way, unless a guy puts down his height a girl wouldn’t know. I’ve met tons of beautiful 30 year old women who a man wouldn’t be able to tell her age, unless she put it down on a dating app. So yes, If men are given a preference they might pick younger, but IRL it really wouldn’t be much a factor assuming she was attractive to him
@@WhoBlah21 unfortunately hate to tell you same goes for ages 28-34 met some 22 year olds more mature than 29 year olds got tons of female friends many single I’m 26 about to buy my first house and many of these women have the same Snapchat at the clubs every night
@@WhoBlah21 do you know nothing of your fellow MAN? 😂😂
Just because someone is attractive doesn't mean you want a relationship with them. Most of those 24 year old women are crazy and haven't grown a brain yet.
I have never seen an author who knows less about the topic he’s choosing to write about. Incredible…
Well this is state of academia
Well, he raised (and had apparently accepted) a son who fundamentally misunderstands sexual mechanics at the most basic level, so what do you expect? At best, this guy can say, "this is what you should not do."
They rely on contrived social experiments that provide 'ideal' results rather than observing what happens in the real world. Not surprisingly this produces wildly differing outcomes. Who knew?
I can’t believe that he actually said that he was trying to figure out why dating was “so much easier for men than it was for women”. This just further proves that people can live in entirely different universes and the universe that he lives in represents the universe of academics, politicians and the media, which is why there’s such a huge disconnect between many of us and the people in power. I’m literally flabbergasted that he could even say such a thing. That is something that only a boomer could say.
Not even then it’s just upper echelons of people he’s talking about
Aye, he's pretty off in his broad understanding of the 20/80 rule, which alone discredits his incorrect assumption or conclusion that it's easier for men. Its objectively not.
He doesn't understand that dating is only easier for the top 20% of men. But what does he know. He only interviews women.
I think he sees it from the prespective of results of research which is usually - women's flirting and signals get unnoticed, the person making the move generally has an advantage. Which means men > women on the advantage scale.
@@Fujtajblus how deos that translate to an advantage? Facing rejection 80% of the time is an advantage?
Absolutely. As a man if you don't meet a certain criteria and don't fit into a set of boxes that she wants to check off, you don't stand a chance. Dating sites are a joke, if you're not exactly what she is looking for don't even bother. You won't even be given the opportunity to find out if there is potential for a relationship or not.
#blackpill
kzhead.info/sun/idWCoc2kZHRmiHA/bejne.html
Aw so every single woman on this planet and online doesn’t want to date you? Aw you poor soul..here here
Yes dating sites blow unless you’re a 10 and you’re just trying to plow psychotic and insecure hoes. Girls actually looking for a relationship should not be looking for it on those apps either because all the guys on there that aren’t trying to fuck are being really creepy and awkward about finding a mate.
@@mmonroe259 Why is your comment so condescending? The OP is confirming what was said in the video.
I like the way someone say'd it : dating for men is like a job interview, dating for women is like shopping. Dating sites just made it a bigger pool to choose from, then you run into the paradox to much choice makes it impossible to choose.
Dating for women is like supermarket shopping; dating for men is like searching for intelligent life in outer space.
No one says men can’t have standards. If you risked getting pregnant any time you had sex you’d become suddenly very picky.
@@evaphillips2102 it’s not about having standards or risk of pregnancy. There are just far, far more single men than there are women.
Dating BECOMES a job interview for a job that pays below minimum wage, and for her supermarket shopping in Venezuela. Men stop, women run around the aisles faster every year they age
Not all ladies get to shop. Not all guys have a dry well. Adapt or die (romantically). 🤷🏻♂️ What do you want? WHY do you want it? WHERE will you end up if you continue down the same trajectory? People are critically judgmental. The process of selecting a partner is evidence. Continue being/taking stunned by choice for granted and we’ll see what happens. Continue being a man-child and also, we’ll see what happens.
Chris just wanna say I love your work, it's truly helped me to improve my life in many ways. I love your professionalism. I think this is the first interview where I see the person pushing an agenda as opposed to what the actual statistics were born out in the study
I love how the men in the comments below are more clear and succinct in explaining things then the guest... the men in our culture have become very adept at interpreting female nature. Red pill philosophy and insight is working just fine for us... WAY TO GO BOYS, proud of you all !
"I was writing this book for women because this was a problem for women, having so many single female friends." "I didn't really care about what men had to say, I wasn't about them." Grade A a$$.
It's never about men.
Why would he write a book for men knowing that men don’t read books? Please explain your logic…
The me2 movement has been good for men in dating? How Sway? Me2 literally handed women a loaded gun and turned all of the traditional approaches into harassment based solely on the mans level of perceived attractiveness. Men have literally become far more cautious and pragmatic about how we interact with women in general. How he can Ignore these facts despite using colleges as his metric is wild. His allegiance to the Gynocracy is pretty much clear.
He's a bluepill fossil, trying to cash in...
@@zenden6564 “blue pill fossil” !!! Looool - ouch ouch ouch
@@danfontaine8179 yup - that was being polite, he doesn't know that he doesn't understand what's really going down in the gender wars ....
@@zenden6564 yeah he’s not attractive enough to know wtf is going on. He’s just stuck to the pages
@Andrei Georgescu - a very good point....
44:04 I understand why he would think that, but there's a major psychological tendency that hinders this idea. Women tend to be more risk-averse than men. Jon can write all the books he wants, but it's extremely unlikely that a significant percentage of women will actually take the initiative to ask guys out. I'm more inclined to agree with Morgan Stanley's report, in which they predict that by 2030, 45% of women in the prime working ages of 25 to 44 years old, will spend the rest of their lives single, and will die single and childless. Lets not forget the GQ article, "Sperm Count Zero." Folks, we are in for a population collapse. Might as well grab some popcorn, sit back, and watch the show. It's going to get bad over the next 4 or 5 generations.
Yup... I read the same report, and population decline in the west is imminent. I'm planning to retire soon, move back to Hungary where my extended family still lives, and watch Rome burn again.... Well said Lorenzo !
Anybody see the movie, Idiocracy ? The ," underclass, " will provide a steady flow of babies conceived under the influence of Alcohol/pot/ cocaine.
@@ferndog1461 not after taking the clotshot where most women will turn infertile along with the men, and sperm counts even before 2020 were already in the toilet.
Risk-averse women are not a good gamble, though. There's nothing really at risk for women other than their egos, in an environment where men would be risking their livelihoods.
This is already happening, and it has forced me to change my shopping habits. The pandemic reduced the amount of real-life interactions because of fear, and it’s not bouncing back. The unattractive and older women are most definitely approaching, and they’re using transitional spaces such as check-out lines.
4:20 we don’t need to encourage “people” to date from different socioeconomic backgrounds, we need to encourage WOMEN to do such. Men date down all the time! 54:21 - What a diplomatic way of Chris calling BS on that stat😂😂 1:01:30 - We can try to make it “a world we would like to live in” as much as we want, but this doesn’t change how we were created I totally agree with everything he said about dating apps. Interesting convo👍🏽
The stat isn't BS, college educated men simply aren't marrying non-college educated women in large numbers. If you look up the stats on professional marriages then the trends you guys seem to think are an iron law are refuted. The dual doctor couple has been a mainstay since the 80s and it's rare for doctors to marry nurses now. Men need to be encouraged to date up
"Dating down" doesn't mean the same thing for men and women. If men value youth, beauty and fertility then dating down is being with an older, less fertile, less attractive woman. So men try to avoid "dating down".
Those remarks about Gen Z’s horror of ‘anything awkward’ are relatable. They’re entering the workforce more and more it’s always interesting to see how they conduct themselves socially
Can you blame Gen Z, especially the guys? They were socially conditioned to be that way with the constant claims of victimhood for women and the treating of any awkwardness that they may feel from a guy taking a chance as a form of attack and abuse. Men are vilified and women are treated as super fragile and sensitive victims. With that kind of social conditioning to condition people to be big babies with women as the catalyst because they’re supposedly so fragile I don’t blame the guys for being horrified by anything awkward. I think part of the problem is that boomers are in charge of all these laws and the media and social institutions and their experience doesn’t track with what’s happened with younger generations.
@@boondoggle4820 Well, I'm not blaming anyone. Me? I'm a millennial. We can put whatever label on individuals we want if it makes it easier for us. The bottom line is we're all human beings and we should treat each other as such.
It's an entire generation of emotionally abused men. No wonder they're skittish towards society.
@@fedup1606 one of my colleagues born 1998 handles himself very well. There are exceptions.
They aren’t competitors, at least right now
I'm 31 and don't talk to women anymore. I just sit on the sidelines so to speak and watch this circus unfold.
im 38 my last bed was 33, its so over, but at least i had alot of fun in my 20s... i did good to take all i could while i could
I'm 32 and haven't had sex since I was like 25. I can't remember the last time I spoke to a woman that wasn't a relative or work in a grocery store. And I have a full time job and am not ugly (maybe chubby but so are women lol).
Woman don't get a lot out of intercourse. I think the only reason same gals do it as much is they do is that they are trying to figure out why it's not the mind blowing experience the media would have us believe. Men are at least almost already guaranteed to climax. Only 20% of women report they are able to during reg intercourse. For most of us ladies it's just a lot of vulnerability, exposed, risk and little reward now that we are paying our own bills and don't feel compelled to basically trade s3x for a roof and food.
@L Hunter did you even read her comment?
@L Hunter if you had bothered to read, evidently she stopped having sex considering the lack of reward for it. That would be the opposite of promiscuous.
Very blue-pilled expert, yet i find some truth on his method. Kudos for the Host
Yes but good to hear all arguments and despite the ideology still has to admit the red pill has it right
Spot on comment. He's bringing some good info into the discussion but his complete dismissal of the male perspective it's very annoying. The host keeps trying to discuss that side of things but it's almost like the guest is scared to let the conversation move in that direction.
Did not mention hypergamy
You can stand in the open in the rain with an umbrella out, and argue the air is devoid of water - statistically speaking- all the while water is getting into your boots. You have to proverbially state “if it isn’t raining, then why are you getting wet?”
What Women Want in Men Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover Revised List (age 32): 1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head) 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries 10. Seeks romance at least once a week Revised List (age 42): 1. Not too ugly (bald head OK) 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady -- splurges on dinner out occasionally 4. Nods head when I'm talking 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down 10. Shaves most weekends Revised List (age 52): 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting 5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times 6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner 9. Remembers my name on occasion 10. Shaves some weekends Revised List (age 62): 1. Doesn't scare small children 2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when asleep 5. Remembers why he's laughing 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears clothes 8. Likes soft foods 9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers that it's the weekend Revised List (age 72): 1. Breathing 2. Doesn't miss the toilet
😂😂😂😂
Every 5 years they revise it… 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.
this is absolutely hilarious!
🤣🤣🤣🤣 brilliant!
Broooo ahahahh
The title of the video is not 100 % accurate ..... It should be: Women AND 10 % OF MALES are in charge of the dating Market .
I've only listened to the first 30 minutes so far, but I think this guy is clueless about the actual dating market. First: The reason he sees this problem is because he's in New York. New York has a big gender skew - too many women and not enough men. Some areas are as bad as 130 women for every 100 men. There are many cities (particularly in the Western half of the US) where the opposite is true: too many men and not enough women. A large part of the problem he's seeing is regional to New York and a few other Eastern US cities. As a good-looking college-educated guy, I "should" have lots of options, but my female friends get 10x-20x as much attention and interest from the opposite sex. I live in a city with too many men, and women here are very picky and even stuck-up. There are plenty of good guys out there that women overlook. I have plenty of good-guy friends who would barely get any interest from women. It's absurd to say that college-educated guys have it good. I have female friends who can manage to get 3-4 dates per week from dating apps, despite being not particularly good-looking. The problem for men is that, even if they have a college education, women still want a dozen or two dozen other attributes (funny, tall, popular, etc) that puts a lot of college-educated men outside being so-called "datable". This guy really needs to look around and understand the dating market better because he sounds like he is myopically looking at New York city and not understanding what the dating market is really like for men and women. He also needs to take what single women say with a grain of salt because they might say "they just want a good guy" but they actually want much more than that, they just don't say it because they know it could invite criticism for demanding too much.
I have not watched the whole video, but this guy is totally backwards. There is an over abundance of men. Most women I know are married or in relationships, but I would say something like 50% of the men I know do not have relationships and a lot of those men I have never seen with a girl.
Girls are actually just attracted to badasses and any other reason they’re with a guy is because she’s using him
If he has a son who’s a senior in college then he probably hasn’t had dating experience for a few decades. Survey data only tells you so much if you lack the social experience to understand the context and adjust for the bias/self-censorship in responses. He notably doesn’t mention any other straight kids, so may not even have vicarious experience for reference.
@@nf6386 he lacks social experience to give the survey data context, yes! He’s telling this handsome, jacked 34 year old guy his findings and he’s politely responding like, “wow that isn’t my experience at all” lol. This guy has his ego wrapped up in old fashioned academia where social sciences are even allowed to be called sciences.
@@nf6386 his son is gay
Great episode, the pushback you gave gives the episode more intrigue but you did it politely. You both present your points in a respectful way and it makes for an interesting conversation
He lost me at his "that's not the kind of world I want to live in" comment. In other words he's putting an ideological filter on the data, not interpreting it for what it is.
when some people just dont want to get Red Pilled they rather see the world get destroyed by lies than to embrace the truth
Wouldn't you like to live in a world where you could commute to work for free on the back of a flying unicorn with climate control and a cruising speed of 350 mph?
Totally picked up on that too. He's trying to sell books to women, bare that in mind!
Holy shit! 1:06:50 This guy says it’s NOT weird and creepy that a woman learns everything about a man before she meets him “because all women do it”. THEN ALL WOMEN ARE WEIRD AND CREEPY! Don’t just disregard something obviously nuts because lots of people do it. Lots of people commit assault and burglary. Both are still crimes.
Did you miss the part where he says 55% of women have been physically threatened with violence on dating apps?
@L Hunter dating apps make it easier for sexual offenders to access women better. They are good liars and many women believe the love bombing. Let's not victim blame people for being assaulted. Put the blame on the sexual offender. And police often do nothing when things are reported which is why many women are murdered. These rate in violence are the reason I stay off the apps. You don't know the person you're talking to well enough to agree to meet a random stranger from online.
@Mark Park this is called victim blaming. Ugly men abuse women too. Put that blame right back on the predators out there abusing people.
@@kathleenjohnston3582 There is some level of demanding responsibility and accountability that is not victim blaming. We women absolutely need to be taught to set boundaries for ourselves and to respect the boundaries for others. Treating women like helpless damsels with no moral agency fixes nothing for anybody, especially not women if you want to play that game.
HE seEMS quite out of touch on multiplepoints
This is "20th century, old-order" thinking at its finest. He has no idea what he's talking about. I wish older people would kind of take a step back and realize: "Maybe this is beyond me at this point in my life..."
Shalom man of valour and many blessings to you and your beautiful family. This has nothing to do with an "old fashioned mindset." This has everything to do with trying to restore principles, morals, character, and standards that have been disregarded and dismissed along the way in this century. There are those who have a distorted way of seeing the value of men and women. So it would not hurt for people to be re-educated on the truth of how we are built to compliment each other's intimate design.
Nailed it 👌 👏 👍
@@mariebright6985 That's optimistic, but no. There will be no "restoring" of values. This is it. You need to understand the dynamics have changed and conduct yourself accordingly.
@@OperativeKANE Shalom man of valour. I understand what you mean. This really has been like a "bob and weave" kind of moment in this generation, fr.
I'm Gen X'er. The boomer gens have intentionally screwed up too many things. Many of them are now waiting to die while ignoring the mess they made. Its now futile to think of society's good. Think of yourself and your immediate circle. Create parallel ways of living that unplug you from this crap. Women are benefitting from the chaos.
Tbh I dont get how women need books for dating, as if they are not already at a huge advantage and can basically be extremely picky. Dating Apps have cheapened the price of men as a resource like a central bank that is printing money has cheapened the price for credit. In economics this means distorting markets… in dating maybe this means distorting relationships
Yes and no. Women are at a definite innate advantage in their younger years. However, this also means they don't develop meaningful dating skills for when they grow older and this innate advantage starts to fade. So, your prospects as a women become increasingly hard, but you've also grown accustomed to a certain standard for a partner. This leaves women ignorant, unskilled and at a disadvantage in the dating market as they grow older.
@@koen8993 yea true
@Fabian Kirchgessner that's not really the point but okay
@@koen8993 the issue is you can't solve this issue because you can't clime that yhey actually have to put in work in dating
I bet they still tell the old joke about dating in the School of Engineering. “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”
As an female engineer married to a younger male engineer do you know of which you speak? Jokes have always abounded about engineers but we have the last laugh.
This is the softest guest I've seen on this show yet. He had so many instances of data and still takes the female friendly version of the story.
Maybe Chris can create a "softest guest" clip a la Letterkenny "The Softest Thing You've Ever Said": kzhead.info/sun/odupltOsboSIrIE/bejne.html
I don't agree with everything that the guest said, but I don't see how his assessment of the dating scene was "female-friendly"--at least insofar as "female-friendly" means "blaming men". Consider two of the three big points that the host summarized at the end. They were, in essence, very politely-worded criticisms of women's dating preferences and behaviors. 1. The suggestion that women take initiative acknowledges that it's unreasonable to expect that men always take initiative--especially considering the aftermath of the MeToo movement. 2. The suggestion that women become willing to date men with lower education levels acknowledges that women's preferences for highly-educated men is misplaced.
Yeah, a very weak man
This guy was definitely a marshmallow lol
Well, he does say more than once that he is writing his books from the woman’s point of view and that men generally do not purchase dating books. I am halfway through and cannot believe he just sighted an OK Cupid study to support a point. This is a tough one to listen to.
Our culture is option based under the guise of "quantity not quality", finding a partners takes time and effort. These tools equipped with cultural ideals is really complicating a simple issue.
The problem with modern dating is the lack of assortive opportunities.
What’s that mean
@@TheOlzee It means to dating according to similar trait such as culture, religion, ethnic, or physical, etc
@@TheOlzee It means that there isn't enough activities to sort us by our personal values and mating fitness. Which could be it's own kind natural selection... This topic is deep and complex lol
Women are told by Society each year...they're more, AND more SPECIAL...this is ONE outcome.
Yep. All that BS about "The Future is Female" has fooled women. I'm a college-educated woman and never bought into that. Happily married to a masculine, blue collar man and raising our kids in the country.
@@acerpalmatum6446 Agree 100%...
Good for you
This has been a hailstorm of mealy mouthed, easily refutable arguments from personal incredulity. I’m glad you had him on because now I know the profile of the kind of person writing dating statistics for women. All fairy tales and “that’s not a world I want to live in” pleas. Also, the irony of someone clearly so aligned with womanism publishing an entire tome fitting the description of “‘mansplaining”. They ain’t gonna sleep with you, bro.
@L Hunter Yes. Too polite to say that he is a simp deluxe.
it's good to hear from all sides of the argument anyway. makes it easier to defend the position of truth.
What if... just maybe... there is a possibility that he talks and writes about these things because they’re interested in the topic? Not everything about developing master plan to get the most women to sleep with you.
Well the consumer base for his work are women. Emotions over reason.
@@WhoBlah21 what if.....just mayber....... MEN LOVE SEX....... like.....what IF bro 😂😂😂
Women can't "uncheck the college box" in dating because the college box is wrapped up in their entire self identity concept. Women go to college because they want to believe it elevates status when in reality it doesn't do that: success in the real world does that. If women are going to college specifically because they want to believe it elevates their status, you can't all of a sudden expect women to just throw their hands up and admit "actually my college degree doesn't make me more of a catch" because they've spent their entire lives convincing themselves it does. Its the sunk cost fallacy. They can't let go of it.
Hearing a woman went to college is a hazard to me. What messed up things did they fill her head with? She's gonna be arrogant and have an attitude. College debt. College educated women are a hard no for me.
Women go to college to get an education towards a vocation to be self sufficient. It's not to impress a man
@Andrei Georgescu Women DO like younger men
@Andrei Georgescu Women go to college to get a degree to be self sufficient Women DO prefer younger men You're wrong on all counts
@@wyleecoyotee4252 they like wealthy men and they would probably prefer a fit guy but if your rich then ur good to go
High value men who know what they are doing with women have control of the dating market. Women will even be willing to share guys like that rather than lose them and have to settle for a lesser man.
I've seen women compete over absolute bottom of the barrel guys
@Storm Shadow Well, you have to look at the quality of the women though. A woman with self respect would never agree to something like that, she would say "you either have me and me alone, or I am out" and chances are, he will respect her for it, and choose her and her alone. There was this guy called Owen McKibbin who used to be a cover model for Men's Health Magazine. He wrote a book, which was mainly a workout/diet book, but he also included something of an autobiography. Now this guy was really handsome, and had a cover model body, so he had no problems attracting women. When he met his wife, she wasn't interested in him, because he was too much of a F boy, and she had self respect. She said something along the lines of "I am not going to be just another one of your bimbos". Because she showed him that she had self respect, he became invested in winning her over, and eventually he did, and married her (and they had kids together). So it works both ways. Only low value women are willing to share a high value guy (and truth be told, low value guys would be willing to share a high value woman), but that is because it is the only way they can compete (by sharing instead of competing). A real woman who has self respect and knows her worth has the best chance of getting and keeping a high value guy. This is why women behaving like sluts works against them, it lowers their value.
@@Opal5674 Yeah, but you didn't mention the quality of the women. Were they high value or low value?
@@zalamael The women are it seems more high value at least than he is. They just don't know their value. I mean any woman with a steady full time job is of higher value than some of these deadbeat men I see them chasing. There are akot of ekmen who grew up with no men in the home and they really have no experience of men and don't know what a good one even looks like as he operates in his daily life so they are fooled by slick pretty words of a low value man rather than his actions
I think the word you’re looking for is player. Rather a player is considered “high value” or not is debatable.
48:57. Married people earn more money because they have to in order to provide for children on aggregate. They earn more but they keep less. The myth of the financially superior married man is mostly just that; a myth. There are exceptions of course, but married men keep a smaller percent of their earnings.
Agreed. This argument always cracks me up. Big difference between income and wealth. Married men make more income because they have more mouths to feed, but they don’t have complete control over the expenses. A single guy can bring in less income and still be more wealthy because he can control his expenses and put money aside for inventing.
@@TuscanBrick Agreed, although a helpful wife can allow you to focus on your job which, hypothetically, allows you to earn more.
I'm single and i make 3x the average national income HOW HE EXPLAIN THIS SHIT????
In general, two sources of income make the household wealthier. Even if you and your partner are average earners, you share the cost of living and can afford saving or improvements that single people can't. On rainy days (or seasons), two incomes provide more security than one. I live in a gated community (around 350 families) and here 99% are married. 1% are widows or divorced. You can't afford this place with one income.
@@evanragland4930 don't forget there are way more men living under the line of poverty than women. And there are two factors: 1- yes, there is more public help for women (it varies according the country). 2- women are wealthier in relational resources. It means if a woman has a problem usually she has a bigger net of people to ask for help. That explains why there are more homeless men than women. What a wife brings to the table (if you marry wisely) it's a huge relacional dowry, a second income and a partner to found a family.
I think that Jon is basing his arguments on anecdotal stories and cherry picking stats to buttress his preferred idea. This make his ideas sounded a lot more like wishful thinking than something you can put more trust in.
Pure gold. I hope this conversation and so many others just like it reach the audience that needs to hear it... namely women in their 20s/30s trying to date right now in 2022.
Hey Chris I just thought I’d say how much I’m enjoying your podcast recently, I only just discovered it and I’m finding it extremely valuable so thank you
My pleasure mate. Welcome aboard
Do you watch the Ben & Charlie podcast too?
@@Pezerinno yeah I do, I love it. Especially their take on the Will Smith thing, it was actually unique and challenged my way of thinking. It’s one of my favourite podcasts.
@@FreddotheWheelchairGuy me too! That one and this one are my top 2 podcasts now. I thought I recognised your name as having asked a question on the Ben and Charlie podcast.
@@Pezerinno yes I’ve asked a few, they’ve always been so kind and considerate with their answers. I asked about dating and other stuff and their feedback was well intentioned and useful. I just made a vlog about my progress in the dating world, since being single in a wheelchair, if you’re interested. Thanks for the comment 😊👍
I’m liking these conversations more and more! Also, your lighting is sensational, I’ve tried but I can’t replicate it.
13:01 women having unrealistic dating standards leading to 30% virginity rate in men ages 18-30, women most affected.
Lol 25 one of those statistics difference is I turned down one night stands cause it’s not part of my values also if we are being honest many of them offering had been passed around or were unattractive
Yes and No. About 5% of men are in charge of the entire market, but 100% of women are in charge of the other 95% of men. That’s the best way I can put it.
Your numbers don't make mathematical sense. Hinge published data and found 8% of all the likes go to bottom half and 92% go to the top 50% of the women. The top 10% of women get half of all the likes. If there's little to no demand for most women how are they in charge?
@@nattypatty3667 Well the problem with online dating is that it operates on the question "what would you have if you could have anything you wanted", and most people's "likes" will reflect their answer to that question. Most men settle, most women don't. Most men will swipe on the hottest of women, but they're realistically with who they marry. Women aren't. Women only swipe on the top guys, and only want to date the top guys. What typically happens is, women will swipe on a top guy, the 5% I'm talking about, get used for sex, and pick a slightly lesser value guy (anywhere from top 6-15%) as a hedge against being single. She'll marry that guy (and eventually divorce him) if she can't find a top 5% guy by the time she noticeably starts losing the attention of those guys. If she finds that top 5% guy, she'll cheat on her current guy until she gets commitment from that top 5% guy, which typically never happens or only happens ostensibly b/c that top guy wants to push her current man out of the picture so he can screw her for himself for a while...at which point he discards her once he gets tired of the sex.
My husband is a plumber and 5 years younger than I am. We have a great marriage and I'd promote men from the trades for sure. I like a man who works with his hands
Plumbers can make a lot of money but your age difference is rare. Most women choose a men on average three years older
My social circle is vastly reduced compared to ten years ago because BREXIT IS NAZISM or something, my ex left me when her hypergamy woke up and although I can get laid, I am increasingly unable to socialise due to work taking up so much of my time. As a result it seems very unlikely that I will be able to meet anyone decent. Dating apps are out of the question.
Almost a page out of my own story book, fella. I tell you what really helps, self reflection and improvement. Find what make you a better person or at least feel better about yourself. A much stronger focus on physical fitness and "discipline" its self have given me something to focus on and it's been a life saver. I gotta have something to achieve. And "desparation dating" isn't gonna happen. IF a girl happens to stumble across my path that fits the bill then so be it.
Your story is exactly like mine. There seems to be a fair few of us
Slapping bitches is self improvement
researchers consistently fail to address the magnitude of this issue. People ultimately need love and validation. When a man doesn't matter to a woman, when she doesn't gaze at him with a loving smile, tell him she wants him/needs him, that he matters to her. A lot of guys have never had that. This will cause disillusionment/isolation/soul sadness and mental health issues in men. No amount of material things, por* will be able to replace that. The problem in the west is 2 fold. Incels can't get a woman and the ones that do get one, end up in divorce/breaking up or being cheated on and losing more than the lady. So they swear off relationships and end up lonely all the same. (Mgtow) Both have the effect of creating lonely, angry, atomised ppl and broken society with plummeting birth rates. And can spell the end of that society. What are we seeing in the west now? Falling sperm counts, falling testosterone levels, births, marriage, and a rapidly ageing society, with catastrophic debt levels. White ppl used to have close family bonds but now they no longer keep ties with family and send old ppl to homes. Jobs for life are a thing of the past, from where they used to form friends. White ppl lost their matchmaking culture and used to marry form within their own tried and tested social circle. With all that now gone, internet dating and cold approaching/PUA random women that u know nothing about is the way. Which can be toxic.
Ah yes I’m 25 similar tale expect I never hardly even got to date just rejections mostly now I work a lot few women might want to date me at work but in current times I don’t date co workers
Women control access to sex and family support. Men control access to commitment and long-term resources. If those roles are abdicated by either party, the whole game falls apart. Simps flooding the market with an abundance of unwarranted attention and the pervasive nature of narcissism amplified via social media only help play into the destruction of the game. Nobody likes prolonged periods of casual sex. It's cold, impersonal, deceptive, and self-destructive. So when sex is taken off the table, consider what other value you bring into the field. Let that be your starting point. Vet your mate candidates harder. Stop flooding the market with attention in misguided attempt to selfishly fill a personal void within you. Stop giving husband and wife treatment & privileges to somebody who is not. Focus on what's broken in your life and begin the repair work on that first, rather than use a relationship to put a band-aid over that wound.
Women sure seem to enjoy it bro 😂it's only the crash they're complainin about, not the RIDE 😂😂
@@Macheako I didn't say they don't enjoy it. Both parties do. But the crash afterward as a result of what they gain in relation to what they trade (their sex for your commitment) is what they worry about.
Erm... What do you mean by this "family support" thing? I'd say you're in need of some illusion-shattering.
This is golden, Kevin.
@@YellowKing1986 Illusions of what, biological imperatives? Clarify your statement so it comes across as something more insightful than a passive-aggressive lie.
He pushes pretty hard against sexual dimorphism in human social behavior haha. It sounds almost like a typical caveat such as "not all" or "on average". Good podcast but the caveats are getting tedious and essentially keep women in the dating market in the same unrealistic dream world that gets them to be single at 40 in the first place.
kzhead.info/sun/idWCoc2kZHRmiHA/bejne.html
Exactly.
I was thinking the same thing. Especially at the “women wanted answers that were bigger, beyond them, to be reassured it’s not their fault” Sorry ladies, the modern dating market is your fault; 100%. There are a lot of reasons but when men are being forced to stay single because either no woman wants them or because no woman is suitable that’s on you
@Andrei Georgescu I think that’s a profound statement that women are a good measurement of society cause the west is sick 😷
@Andrei Georgescu majority of the population don’t have working brains they are not inquisitive or interested in things. They just want easy lives and if it’s hard gotta be somebody else’s fault
This was a brilliant interview. Finally helped me decide once and for all to cross online dating off the list of things to put time into and to make more of an effort to approach people in person.
Then you will get charged with sexual harrassment.
He’s crazy. MiT2 has made it much worse for guys. Is he serious? It’s a disaster in colleges. A gurl gets drunk at a party, is embarrassed and self conscious, and redeems her virtue by blaming a guy for harassment. Sheee feels virtuous and the guy is thrown out of school. He is black marked forever and may never see college again. Maybe a 2 yr school.
Men definitely buy self-help books. I don't know where he's getting that. Isn't "12 Rules For Life" considered a self-help book, roughly speaking?
You’re right and this guy is off on soooo much more to fend off the cognitive dissonance he would encounter by actually looking at the things he’s spewing
Jordan Peterson is an outlier in the genre (part of what makes him so unique), generally speaking he's correct that women buy more self help books.
Jon Briger's arguments are all anecdotal and based on his own personal experiences and biases. He struggles to really accept the reality of modern dating. He literally said 'I wish' and 'I hope'. That's how women speak. So clearly he's operating from a female perspective and has little regard for the male view of things.
He’s completely right about how much the online dating apps suck. But it honestly feels like there’s no way out at this point. I’ve had hundreds, probably thousands of matches on the apps, and I’ve only had a handful of good dating experiences from them. Also a great point about this dumbass “playing hard to get” crap in the modern MeToo world.
I like that "playing hard to get" is no longer seen as a valid tactic. If someone is doing that you can just watch it explode in their face as you wonder off with someone more genuine.
@@Andrei15193 -- That's a fair point. I agreed with the guest that playing hard to get is a bad strategy (and not only in terms of efficacy), but I didn't even think to question his underlying premise that a huge portion of women actually use that strategy. This sort of thing makes me wish that I could have some frank conversations with the young women in my life about their dating strategies and preferences--not necessarily so that I can get with them, but just because I'm curious about how they think.
@@mvmlego1212 they will say all the sugar & spice/ sweet and nice things you want to hear, you want to see how the sausage is made, you will have to enter into the back end of the butcher shop.
It would appear the way to go is to join a religious institution, attend regularly, and don't be afraid to make the first move.
I’m assuming you’re a female? I’ve gotten maybe 50 matches in about 3 years of using dating apps. And I’m not unattractive.
Workplace relationships are a no-go and form part of the most dangerous and stupid things one can do. There is absolutely no way to say anything positive about this.
I learned that the hard way and never again 💯 would do that.
A wise person once told me..don’t shit where you eat!
You are correct which is sad since that’s where 40% of previous generations found their partners.
@@hitandruncommentor Times change, many things are sad.
@@hitandruncommentor I saw a "reality check" relationship video and talks about how the newer generation is going to have that issue, the newer generation will either gonna find their partners either at school or most likely at work since the newer gen are having less social skills due to social media and video games etc etc, more pressure to go to school and working more hours since purchasing power is declining on top of this being in a relationship now days is not guaranteed to make you happy and the fact that relationship don't even last.
Chris, you ask the best questions, thank you!
I met my second husband when I was 33 and he was 28. We were together for 17 years. I had a masters degree and he had a bachelors but worked as a freelance subcontractor. I earned more money consistently and it was never an issue for him.
Then why you divorced?
@@NyakzOTSD because he cheated
@@randyandrettiwait are you not seeing the correlation there then? Respect is in a lot of ways more important than love to a man, which is a difficult concept for many women to grasp. It's hard for a woman to respect a man who she financially provides for. Often times, breadwinner women also don't have the bandwidth to provide the nurturing and care a man prioritizes much higher than her drive and ambition. Therefor what ends up happening is that these men go looking for the nurturing and respect that they aren't getting in the marriage from others
@@Tito21ist I’d love it if a man I fell for made more money than me. Just never encountered it. When we fell in love, he had a potential to make much more than me in business but his dreams never materialized. Women don’t have time to wait around for an established breadwinner to come along.
@@randyandretti The things that masculine provider men fall in love with are fairly easy for women to learn, especially relative to what you had to do to become the driven breadwinner woman you are today. The problem you and most women today are facing is by the time they figure out what those qualities and character traits that you need are, you're usually at a point where those types of men are no longer interested. So there's the same personal accountability we all have to have for the choices we've made; but at the same time, I can't really blame you for all the ridiculous programming you've had stuffed down your throat for 50 years
The ladies have a crazy idea of their actual SMV. The juice is not worth the squeeze. Married twice, never again ! Is all a resource exchange scheme.
dude. just don't sign the marriage license or live in a common law state. Make that clear to the chick. If she don't like it, there's another train in 10 minutes
@@mannyvelo Cohabitation is still going to put you on the hock for alimony even in some common law states.
You get falsely accused! And YOU get falsely Accused! *Everyone* gets a false accusation 😂😂😂
wait until they overplay their hand and falsely accuse the cops and judge then it will get hilarious
new meta. future belong to nolifer
@@therearenoshortcuts9868 😂😂😂 what do they do when there's only 1 male cop left 😂😂😂 "You assaulted me!......now arrest yourself!" 😂😂😂
I pray we outlaw dating apps at some point soon in my life... toxic and poison to humanity.
Never going to happen. This is the timeline that we're on. Act accordingly.
Probably not gonna be a lot of lonely and homeless women
When humanity ends, dating apps end, just have to wait a while.
Most men I know can't be arsed with relationships anymore. There's something drastically wrong. We socialise online now more that real time natural interaction and it's become very impersonal....hence the lack of connection and long term relationships.
they can marry their cellphone and it will pay their rent and food
To much work for the little reward , get a dog
Lol. The internet and telecommunications are not the reason men are opting out of relationships. Modern western women are a financial and legal liability, they can change their mind at any time and take half of your wealth. Simply put, men are realizing on a large scale that the benefits of relationships do not outweigh the risks. So they opt out, smash these lonely college and career women, and save for their retirements. It’s not complicated.
Also when you end up in relationships with women that give it all "we don't need men", it puts you off. Gave me the sense of, well if you don't need men, men are going to end up paying more attention and time to other things like hobbies and career... Then when women end up struggling to find a man, the men that are living life get demonized. You simply can't win.
Almost everyone in my circles is either married or in a long stable relationship. I'm 30, btw. I think, this kinda ruins the argument of "most people I know". No shit, loners and losers(no offence, this is how it is perceived by society) bunch together, married couples bunch together. What would a father of newborn son have to discuss with a terminally online gamer?
He has interesting data but I don't think telling women to be more assertive in relationships is going to get them the man they want. This is a recipe for disaster.
Electricians here in Portland where I live often make 100k/year as base salary after their 4 year apprenticeship, while many university graduates or even MA/ PhD holders earn significantly less than that. I am curious how female hypergamy responds here. Is it the financial resources to be prized more highly on average or the social status of working as a nonprofit coordinator for example?
Women outsource valuing men to society. If society appears to value a man, they will value him. Famous but poor men are still desirable. Women want to be able to brag about who they are dating because that conveys status on them. This is why married men are more attractive than single men.
Status in combination with a certain level of money is more important. A lawyer who makes less is more desirable than guy who works with his hands.
@@zerayacob3246 Jordan Peterson talks about this a bit and echos your point in so far as women look for indicators that a man will be able to make money in the future even if he lost his job now. For example, women aren’t as attracted to a man who won the lottery and is wealthy than they are a man who possesses the attributes associated with a man capable of earning money in the future such as intelligence, social ability, motivation, physical fitness etc. Still, it is interesting to think about, I mean 100k is a pretty good salary and puts you in the top 1% worldwide I would imagine. It’s a bit insane that a girl would find that unsatisfactory to me
social status is higher, i am like you same job and pay but women say they dont want to date a man who is working in dirt
For the Western woman, appearance trumps all. How she is perceived by her peers and family is more important than the relationship itself.
Hello Mr. Williamson. Can you please do a podcast with Dr. Janice Anne Fiamengo? She is a retired professor of English from University of Ottawa. Would love to see an episode of her.
- Modern dating is a cesspool - Would you make it more uplifting please?
pit of diarea is still diarea, uplift out of it dont change the wording of the issue
The truth shall set you free. Comforting lies keep you enslaved.
When I was younger, I'm 32, I was the type of girl who always approached the boy that I liked and told him so. I was always and forever shot down. Guys did not like being chased by women. They saw it as masculine. And when I finally did get into a long-term relationship, none of those men I approached. Even my current husband approached me. And I noticed personally the type of men that would be fine with a woman approach to them aren't very masculine to begin with. But that's just my perspective.
I agree.
How "in your league" were those guys?
I think it's fine if you are shut down it's not a bad thing but I noticed that you actually had a bais in approaching , its not like you were approach all types of men it's that the men you approached didn't like being approached because you said it yourself that the ones who you felt liked being approached are less masculine, now being less masculine , is it a turn on or turn off
Same with me. I did the approaching in my 20-25 and realized the guys felt intimidated. I started ignoring them and since then everyone approaches me. Even if they ARE masculine, a woman approaching them makes them FEEL less masculine.
@@JaZmine147I’m sorry but if you where rejected that many times, it just means you are really bad at making your intentions clear or you’re very unattractive. It has nothing to do with the whole “men don’t want to be approached”; that’s a lie women tell themselves, to feel better
Just go your own way man! Put yourself above everything else
Glad you had this guy on, but in my opinion he seems off on many of his assessments. He hears hooves and thinks zebras when it's actually horses. Interesting points but I'd be curious to hear the experiences of those women he gave dating advice to.
I’m confused. At the beginning he said his first book “wasn’t really written for men”. As he was interested in explaining the single female problem he saw. But later in the interview he says his first book was an attempt to solve the problem of the decreasing amount of men in college and universities. How exactly do you solve a problem of getting more men into the university by writing a book for women??? Also I think at the very end of this interview he summed it up very well. He said, after a talk with Davis Bus who argued that given their options a lot of educated women would simply rather stay single, that “he does not want to live in a world where that’s true”. I think there in lies his ultimate thesis. Most of his research is trying to find information that fits his world view rather than finding a broad scope of information that may or may not lead to unsatisfying conclusions. He wants to live in a world as he sees it rather than live in the world as it is. This is probably why I think a couple of his more fundamental conclusions are simply wrong. And why a fair amount of his data is contradictory to a lot of the other data available.
This whole "I, the man, must make the most money" is not about being competitive, it's about being insecure about your masculinity. If you're a healthy, (mentally) strong male, you know when you make "enough" money and can look up to women with awe when they make even more than you. Just like if you're a half decent runner and some talented female runs past you on the track, you just feel happy because you know it's not that YOU ARE SLOW, it's just that this gal is really, really fast and totally awesome.
The important take away from this video, to myself, is someone outside our generation is taking a considered look at our, dating, world and attempting to understand. I at least heard him out. I'm sure he would have, some, of our perspective if he had experienced our era. To me he thought enough about the topic to write a book. That's more than I've done. Anyway I'm not for or against I'm simply making an observation.
I'm terrified to ask out a woman at my job. That is where people used to meet most often. Because you get to know each other. Weird times
Don't shit where you eat.
@@Xarkom89 Most people meet their spouses at the workplace. Luckily I have a girl already.
The owner of my company doesn't care if people at the company date because he picked his own wife from a dirt poor low level worker. Women get asked out all the time by dudes shooting their shot. We don't report anyone and wouldn't not for them just asking but if they said really crude things or touched us we would say something.
@@seaslob2820 And if it goes sideways, now you have heartache / anger at work added with -- work.
@@Xarkom89 It is a valid point
Considering that a man can go to jail, or be sued, for touching a woman: yes.
That's marriage. Go get a better lawer if you went to jail for nothing.
@@arthurtitangenlpendragon Give some better advice
or aproching or talking. headshot on sight by feminist snipers
He has a point on the dating pool being dating-apps-users that will treat dating as online shopping (finding the best deal) and as a consequence, requirements for the mate will be insanely unrealistic. The tools ask you to behave that way.
Currently a junior in college and the guys that I have been friends with since high school have always stayed in touch with each other. It’s interesting now to see that as we get closer to graduation the guys that attend universities with 50%/50% ratios are pairing off while the guys that go to universities where it’s 60%/40% aren’t. Crazy to see what is being talked about actually occur in real time!
If I don't give up on finding relationships, I keep getting hurt as I don't. If I give up, I hurt possibilities and feel like a loser. There is no way to win. This is pure evil.
@@MrRhetorikill I'm currently working of it. Some days I feel very dark and write comments like that I wrote, but slowly I'm trying to mature as a man. Thank you.
“Provided a sense of relief that it wasn’t their fault”, they really don’t have the capacity or desire take on accountability in any way, shape, or form huh?
Yes the dark heart of the matter.
Unfortunately that’s human nature, most men just get over it. Those that don’t become communists lol.
@@hitandruncommentor men are brought up in a way as to take responsibility for themselves. women aren't. that's all there is.
What exactly is this alluding to? Do you have a timestamp?
More like they though something was inherently wrong with them now they just know it's their standards and the time we live in. Pretty big difference.
It's funny to see Chris face when he trys to "say the talking points" but the real life data doesn't match 😆 Like men have these weird narratives build up about women (and pressure women with) but what happens in real life is different. Most men are just so busy "trying to beat women" in the dating game and work, while women just keep doing their thing. The men who are not competing with women get the ladies.
You tend to bring a lot of people on the show that just read numbers on a paper and don't use much logic of their own.
Then who should he invite to the show, in your opinion?
Ive heard multiple women say they look for high social and financial men over love.. Women look for men to leech off of before meaningful love.!
women will never find someone with enough money if you give them $2 million they will immediately spend $3 million LOL
They don't speak for the entire female population my dude.
I'm 54. Men my age don't seem to be aging well but they're extremely picky about my physical attributes.
I don’t even know how this is a question. Yes. A thousand times yes.
This episode is really getting me to think that calling the dating market a "market" might not be very helpful. Maybe it needs to be called the dating scene or something like that where people are seen as people rather than an item or commodity or something that can be returned, shopped for, and running the risk of always thinking you can find better so we can't settle. For instance, getting the new iPhone each year. I imagine calling it a market could leave a subconscious impression that isn't necessarily productive. Same thing with dating apps, we shop on our phones, we scroll and filter through Amazon etc. to find the right thing and just what you want, swiping and swiping. Looking for items and objects. And instead of meeting people in real life where they're seen as tangible humans.
Women only want tall men.
I feel like this starts to fall apart when he talks about reverse age gaps. Also, the way attractive women and unattractive women behave couldn’t be more different.
That is when I lost it too. At some point he almost tells the story as it is: I am a leftist journalist who does not like reality, so I lie to myself and to everybody, because I can.
@@gyozop He also said various times that he writes books for women. He knows where his bread is buttered and MAYBE doesn’t want to offend his demographic.
@@gyozop some people cope with money, drugs, and wine other people cope by lying to themselves
"Men don't buy self-help/dating advice books." What is this guy smoking? The Game, 12 rules for life, the rationale male, etc. There's a massive market of it. This man is delusional.
Jon Birger is my hero now! He has the key! Online dating has gone mad. Women put height, education and job type... as qualifications,like it was a job application! So much audacity. 5.9 is the main height number, it's true! And why women cannot date a less educated or successful man? This would be the solution. I went to grad school twice, I'm highly educated but I really feel it for men doing honest average paid jobs , they are good man!
36:30 - 'Negging' actually works really well if women both want to break the ice and show interest but without having to worry about looking too vulnerable about it. I think for most guys there is already a pretext that women generally won't close social gaps to talk to you unless they're interested (more often than not at least) and if she closes that gap to give you a playful jab about something you're wearing it makes the point that something the reverse of the usual happened, ie. that she got up the courage to come talk to you, and for guys that's really flattering.
I'm kinda chucking listening to this one lol I grew up in a Mexican American/Latino community, where it was normal that once you turned 18 you were asked "so where's your boyfriend?" or something to that effect. Marriage was a yes or no question. If you wanted to marry, you just did. And my approach was accidentally very similar to what's "suggested" in this video about being assertive in my display of interest. I essentially was casting out fishing lines into the dating pool lol yet I like to think that my husband was one of the flying fish that came up and smacked me in the face😆😂 Completely blindsided by his interest but he has said that while he was terrified of botching this connection, he also felt like I was willing to give him a chance, saw a particular chance to shoot his shot and we've been married for a year now😝 it's funny to me that the method is encouraged in the video and that while I stumbled across that formula, it does check out lol
53:56 - there is a HUGE difference in attractiveness between a 33-year-old and 23-year-old. That survey is total BS
As a college dropout that ended up working as a plumber, mechanic and electrician, it hurts allot that women have to be 'open minded' in order to date me because of my profession. I like my job, I earn a decent living and I believe I can find a woman right for me. However, some of these talks aren't making me optimistic.
Communicating sexual interest is tricky because you have to maintain plausible deniability in case the other party is not interested.
I enjoyed this interview but I’ve come to the conclusion that this man was more about the exceptions rather than the general rules of the todays dating experiences and standards relating to those general rules. What does everyone else think? 🤔 ….because he basically described the small % of women (including myself) but I know we’re not the rule.
He mostly used outliers or singular examples to strawman an argument and get out of it. When presenting advantages he seldom presented the risks associated. The example with dating work colleagues, for instance, what if it doesn't work out? What if it doesn't work out after 2 years? You will be forced to work together afterwards. You will be spending a lot of time with the other person, both at work and at home, which can be a little bit too much. What about trust? You need to not know what the other person is doing and with whom they are interacting with to be able to trust that they remain loyal even in your absence, but when you are always with them you don't need to worry about that as much. Not to mention that it can feel limiting as the other person knows about everything both at work and at home plus the water cooler gossip, a lack of trust will only amplify insecurities.
@@Andrei15193 oh I completely agree with your opinion! I don’t know about men but women talk amongst each other and will always warn each other not to hook up or date men in the same work environment. Most women will friend zone the men they work with straightaway. As a woman, I don’t think it’s a good idea to date a work colleague. I tried to understand where this guy was coming from but it’s just not reality.
@@Nah-ah it's very convenient as you already know the person, but I don't believe people think about how the relationship evolves and how it can affect the work environment. Previously when men and women met at the workplace it was heavily disproportionate in terms of occupation. Women we're not as accepted in the work place and were generally secretaries, nurses, assistants and so on. The "real work" was done by men because of the social norms of the time. In that context it wasn't anything unusual to date the receptionist, they hardly seen each other at work throughout the day, let alone spend time together. But this has changed and now, thankfully, women can pursue the same careers that men do which has massive implications when it comes to dating work colleagues. It's simply not the same anymore and saying that it worked in the past is not valid because the context is completely different now. I found yet another risk. Say someone is dating their boss, is it fair for the employee to discuss a salary increase with the boss they are dating? Would that be a conflict on interest? Would it give the employee an advantage over other employees because of their personal relationship (nepotism)? These issues do not exist, or are easy to tackle when you are dating someone from a different department.
@@Andrei15193 all points on point! Also, imagine having those disagreements at work with your girlfriend/boyfriend then stepping out of work trying normalize the rest of your day with them hopping that what you said or did at work professionally, didn’t come off as aggressive or condescending to them.
@@Nah-ah very true. At the same time the reverse can happen. When having an unfinished argument at home which gets to spill over at work in a meeting, or in the office.
Why is it that we're only allowed to discuss problems that men face when we frame it in terms of "how does this effect women?"
Because women are the ones bringing the actual humans to this world. We are valuable. We must be, otherwise everything goes down -like it’s happening now. Coincidentally we also messed up Mother Earth, gave her no value and just overused her and well, you know the rest of the story. It’s so hot today in northern Germany…
@@ameliepoulain4654 dumb take
Chris you're killing it
Fascinating how long you can talk about dating strategies without mentioning love. Are these strategies based on any real fundamentals of attraction or is it just what's been written in books that take on a cultural expectation?
Here’s an idea… Address the problem head on. Call the local Rotary and start holding outdoor socials for all ages at the local park. Put people together and you’ll get the outcome you’re looking for. The world needs families.
As a tight fisted, Quasimodo who enjoys a quiet night in, I find it difficult to get women. They never what to bring their own food a drink around to my place.
12:18 women were happy to hear that something that is clearly their fault isn’t actually their fault. Shocking.
The first 15 seconds are so true!!! I am 5'9" and get more IOIs in real life. I am handsome, workout 3-5 days/week, masculine, and dress sharp. But in the tinder/IG/FB/TT era, I'm not tall enough 🤷
Amazing interview, fully exploring all the dynamics and pitfalls of modern dating. Definitely worth sharing!
This guy is a joke, peddling fantasy for women, which is why it sells - but only to women and simps. Reality, as he says is "not a world I want to live in".
@@jameseverett4976 -- To paraphrase a previous comment that I made: I don't agree with everything that the guest said, but I don't see how his assessment of the dating scene was "peddling a fantasy for women". Consider two of the three big points that the host summarized at the end. They were, in essence, very politely-worded criticisms of women's dating preferences and behaviors. 1. The suggestion that women take initiative acknowledges that it's unreasonable to expect that men always take strong initiative--especially considering the aftermath of the MeToo movement. 2. The suggestion that women become willing to date men with lower education levels acknowledges that women's preferences for highly-educated men is misplaced.
@@mvmlego1212 Yup if you want to speak in a non spin manner, he is simply lying blatantly, the comments above mention a more truthful version of his data in the context of actual reality of 2022, from a man's perspective and some women have made accurate comments as well. His stats are all true, his anecdotes are total outliers like 3STD+ outliers from the women's point of view.
He's just telling you ladies what you want to hear , why share a liar.
Im in my 40's and let me tell you revered age gap in dating is more common then you think.
Interesting and articulate as ever 👍
Ok he is strictly looking at marriage an LTR's which are rare to non existent for women between 18 - 30, avg age of first marriage in USA for women is 32 so he is talking about completely diferent things, there is only hookups (fwb) or LTR or marriage which is steadily decreasing. Even LTRs are rare, very common to talk to 25-27 year olds who havent even been in relationships or been out on an official date together by themselves, ever in their entire dating lives. He eschews online dating which includes apps and social (insta or tinder) over 70-75% meet on it after pandemic so saying not to use it for the young is nonsensical.