The REAL Reason Why Men & Women Don’t Match Anymore... | Chris Williamson
2023 ж. 25 Шіл.
199 255 Рет қаралды
Chris Williamson reveals the real reason why men & women of today find dating so hard...
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📖 Chris Williamson has become one of the most followed podcasters, intellectual thinkers and researches in Europe. From a bullied and unpopular schoolboy to famous party boy appearing on some of the biggest reality shows, Chris Williamson was living the life most men in their twenties dream about, but he was deeply unsatisfied.
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I'm a mother and I've been a career woman of the corporate world. I am 100000 percent more fulfilled having and caring for my child. The amount of happiness he brings me, is one that no job could ever fill.
I did that too, but when she left for college, I was like, damn, wish I hadn’t jettisoned my career. Look at all my friends who worked earning big bucks and at the top of their careers. Hope my husband doesn’t trade me in for a younger model now.
❤
@@tabithan2978 he won't, just be happy and focus on what matters
@@stephanieann87 oh, I’ve seen lots of women deeply regret leaving careers behind. Stay at home moms should think about working part time to keep their skills fresh and their careers somewhat alive. We live till 80, so maybe take a decade off from ‘full time’ work but don’t walk away totally from careers.
@@tabithan2978 yes but many career women regret leaving the option of children behind and only pursuing careers. Many ppl don't even have careers, they have jobs, which make it less fulfilling. Corporate careers are glorified jobs for most. With you slaving away for 40-60 hours. Yes you can make a lot of money but you also trade time. It's a hard position to be in. I'm a SAHM who wonders if I should get back into work, just as a safety. Because I too wonder how many years before my spouse wants "newer"... but I was also miserable (even when making a decent check) working. It wasn't fulfilling. I drank just to make it through my days. (yes including at work, I worked in an industry that was very male and alcohol dominated). Both are sacrifices and neither is an easy decision. Am I happier now that I'm a stay at home mom... yep. Do I think my kid is worth all my time now and my potential future happiness... yep... am I also worried I'll be alone with nothing... yep
Completely agree with Chris' view of putting mothers back in the high regard they should be treated with. It's one of the hardest jobs in our society but so undervalued.
It's also one of the most difficult economic positions to be put in if your husband leaves you after you've been a stay at home mother. That strikes fear into the hearts and minds of women.
💯
Married women.
Except that they were never highly regarded in that role. For Chris to acts like this started with modern feminism is laughable
@@catche85the challenge of finding our worth in all the wrong places and things
Sadly individual greed is held so high in society that caring about others is seen as a weakness.
I agree. Also, many of the caring professions are not well compensated and are very demanding jobs. Take nursing homes. Generation of modern individualism, seeing family members left in homecare. The financial struggles, passed from one generation to the next. There's a lot going on. I feel we're all coming around to awareness on this, and chats like this one go some way to highlighting our human challenges and areas for improvement, which is good!
@@GemmaAdventures One thing that upsets me is the so called cost of birth and death. No parents needs a bill to welcome life into this world and... No family should be given a bill after a loved one passes.
@@GemmaAdventures This has validity. The generation following WW2 so prized mobility that family homes 100 to 200 years old were sold, leaving their multiple offspring either to squabble and hate one another , or to render those, like myself, who retain a love for siblings, to withdraw, and struggle to create, develop, build new home. From the evidence of Europe, such an abdication is not the norm. Although outside the high rock and ice, Europe IS vastly overdense, it was only the excessive inmigration from former colonies that engendered social problems, including homelessness.
Greed has ruined us all
we're leaning into narcissism that's why
Women fear being a single mother. Easiest road to poverty.
And The solution for that is marriage.Simple.Don't have children outside marriage.That's like striking an Axe on your own foot.
It happens even during marriage, some males present themselves as the knight with the shinning armour and when in marriage the true colours show up. That's how some mother's become single mothers.
So don't have kids with someone who won't raise them with you. wow I'm so good at this give me another.
Fear? Being a single mother is being propped up and praised in our society...and a lot of women are falling for it, then when they get a few years in they realize the harsh reality & are desperate for a man.
Yep I've opted out of motherhood 🛑🤰🛑
"This isn't a competition-" FRIGGIN THANK YOU! Is it honestly that difficult for people to understand and agree that everybody has some sort of problems. Like talking about one issue doesn't overwrite the other issues - we should be able to speak about both with empathy towards each other and learn from the discussion. I'm lucky to have a friend group of smart young men and women who discuss and share their own experiences and everybody takes them in and offer support.
Bro this guy is saying we need to somehow elevate men because too many women are going to school. This is braindead advice for braindead people, are you guys seriously challenged? Do you struggle to understand words? My man is king of the oppression olympics right now.
The problem is that there is a war going on between men and women. Men aren’t necessarily having a war with women, except for a certain minority of men. Most women, though are in a silent war with men and are even ashamed when mentioned as someone’s girlfriend or wife, and they don’t take great respect in being in a relationship. You can say it isn’t a competition, and I would say most men agree with you, but the women don’t agree, because how they act is that it is a competition. Women act like it’s a competition in relationships. They don’t try to be good for wives for the most part. Also, they don’t have empathy for men, and what men are going through. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite they laugh at men or just don’t think they exist if they’re not attractive to the woman . Men used to have a lot of empathy for women, but with everything being against men nowadays, and how men have been treated by women for the last 50+ years they have run out of empathy. Women and feminist are living in a world where they act like they’re victim like they’re from the 1950s, but they’re actually more empowered and have more rights and privileges than men. So men have no empathy for women, because there are a lot of men even most men who don’t even have a chance of getting a date and there is women that are sad and crying on social media because they have a roster but they’re high value, boyfriend, or partner they slept with rejected them. Men are done with empathy because we tell women you’re shooting too high. You shouldn’t sleep around and try to help them and they don’t want to hear it. There’s only so many times that men can tell women and try to help them before men just get sick of it and say OK you’re on your own you don’t want to be helped you just want to complain. The longer goes on the more men just don’t care, because the fact is men don’t wanna deal with women because they’re scared that everything leads too bad outcomes for men. The realistic thing is that if you try to go ask a woman out in person, you can be metoo, you can have a consensual night in the bedroom with a woman, and she can regret it later on, and do another form of metoo to you, you can get married and she can decide she’s just not happy one day and leave you, or my favorite one of all wait until you guys have multiple kids down the road in like a 10 year marriage and divorce you take all of your stuff leave you basically homeless and not able to see your kid. The divorce statistics don’t lie you’re a better chance of getting divorced then you are married. If you actually look at a lifetime, maybe you can get lucky and get into the 20 year marriages but it’s gonna end at some point. Women have given away their good well over the past 50 years by screwing over men and men have seen generations of men deal with this, and they don’t wanna do it anymore
Egos rein
Actually as a 58 year old man, I grieve about not having a child more often each year that goes by
I'm 43 and I feel the same way.
I feel like the childless or childfeee men are often overlooked in this conversation and I’m sorry it didn’t work out how you wanted it to. It’s such a complicated topic and I hope you can find another relationship in your life that helps 💛
Adopt?
@@devilsadvocacy single parenthood is hard and dysfunctional, regardless of adopting a child, that child needs both a mother and a father present together, that's a functional family going through life as a unit ❤️
The topic is why men and women can't coexist in harmony
Men are Not Terrified of Women in the Workplace- They Are Protecting Themselves from the Overreach of Me Too Without Due Process! ✅
The possibility of false accusation is way less than it be true
@@sunny_dance7266 I disagree- the media only publicizes the women’s accusations but not false accusations by them & Nothing is done to women for it!
@@ronalde.wilson7406 I'm not talking about media but police report. Actually data. It's not a matter of who agrees or disagreed but matter of fact. In fact there is more not reported assault around the world compared to false accusation
Nonsense. They want all the attention for themselves. Sexism is rampant in the work place.
@@sunny_dance7266 both false and true accusations are in less percentage, the one in the middle is complicated
Women only swipe right on 4% of men. Therefore, 96% of men are wasting their time (and money) on apps. Huge validation for those of us who never mess with that foolishness. I'll take my rejections and failures live and in person - please and thanks. In fact, I may go out this weekend for a night of swinging and missing. Can't wait 😅
They as "average girls" are really kind of just wasting their own time too then, because any guy considered "hot" enough to be in the top 5% or so of men is not very likely to take any of them more seriously than an easy fuck-n-toss. Of course they are stupid and don't understand that but it is what it is.
Apps are stupid. If you aren't photogenic and a huge part of your appeal is your personality or your humor, you're selling yourself short!
This is a fact that’s genuinely not talked about enough - dating apps are statistically and algorithmically unkind to most men. In fact, apps like Tinder use people’s loneliness to get them to spend extra $$$ on premium features… Your time is better spent improving yourself and doing things that make you happy. The right person will enter your life at the right time, if you cultivate the right values within yourself.
80% of women share the same 20% of men (f-boys, bad boys, high value men) and they know it and they don't care about their bodycount, they only care about sex and money, but sexual satisfaction and variation are their priority in younger years and they easily get it from f-boys
@@jvstn1321 Tinder and bumble, both are run by the same woman. (w.wolfe) On a podcast she admits they were designed with womens needs in mind and are purposefully geared to benefit women.
Honestly, I think it's because we just don't like each other, anymore. We are competitors and it's very difficult to put our swords down. This is why you're seeing relationships turn into partnerships. Everybody wants to make sure things are completely fair and equitable before partnering up, because neither wants the other to get more than they're putting in. On face value, that seems fine, until you realize the reasons behind it, which aren't so fine.
After dealing with men all day at work, I don't want to go home to one too.
Agreed. After dealing with women all day at work, I don’t want to go home to another one.
Competing with women at work has turned me into a gay man. 😭😭😭 More of a reason I want society to 🔥
Most women despise men.
I'm sure they don't want to deal with you after work to. Win win situation.
Stats are fun. He says 2000 hours a year playing games. The stats I found say the average gamer spends 14 hours per week, 728 hours a year. That’s a pretty big difference, oh and not all of us are stoned or on drugs. By the way, 2000 hours would be like a full time job, 38 plus hours a week. I play a lot and I don’t hit those numbers.
I just dislike video games once again being used as a scapegoat, while other forms of distraction like tv, movies and yes even reading are left alone. There's nothing inherent in games that make it different from other forms of entertainment.
@@gman7497 I'd say there is more interaction in video games then other entertainment like movies or tv.
Yeah, I took those numbers very lightly. I don't know this guy, but he looks a little young to be giving this type of advice.
saying there's no difference between gamers and couch potatoes isn't quite the absolution you might think it is.
HAHAHHA yes.
A pet has replaced children. Many women i know have a puppy or kitty and feel content.
🐈🐕👩💻✈️🪴>>>>👨🏻👨🏻🦰🧔🏾🧔🏻♂️👨🏻🦲👨🏾🦱🧓🏼
Pets are the new children; plants are the new pets.
I increasingly see sites of men saying "Don't date single mothers!!!" I was raised by one & vowed I'd never( (urposely) be a single mm--& I haven't. But, now, there's ALSO comments abuot "pets are the new children for women"! It's catch 22! Seems like a woman is wrong no matter what! The ONLY "correct thing is to be a Near-Virgin of 25 or younger with a job supporting yourself but, NOT a "career" or work that's important to you), have no child. be HOT & yet have no "body count", be "wife material" but, DON'T ask for any committment from men. It's nuts.
@@endorphinrider62 Pets are also the new volunteering...
Whenever I hear a woman refer to themselves as dog or cat moms, I correct them and say you’re a pet owner, not a mother to a different species, you didn’t birth them.
The problem with modern day women is if you approach them and start a conversation they consider it flirting if you are a Chad, but if you do the same and the woman considers you "average" then she labels you as "creepy".
Women should be avoided by most men.
Try talking to slightly older woman.
Some women find hot guys creepy, especially if that man is hitting on a woman he knows is married.
It really depends on the circumstances, how the guy flirts, and the relationship the lady holds with him (ie stranger, friend of friend, etc).
So what!!! Ugh I am so sick of this BS. Yes women do not wanna talk to you because they need space. If you average JOE that means she MUST also talk to 1000 men identical to you. You need to stand out and allow her to make the invitation to proceed
I have often said women and men need to learn to appreciate the differences that each of us have along with the shared capabilities. There is no doubt that both women and men have challenges ahead and good way to get started is to have meaningful dialog.
Men appreciate 80% of women, women appreciate 20% of men. I think it might be more of one team's problem than the other.
If as a man, most people you like, don’t like you back, you’ve got to adjust your approach knowing that your chances are low. If as a woman, you don’t like many of the men that like you, you best learn how to navigate those interactions and treat those men in a way that is best for your own interests. The answer is not: Men begging, pleading, and complaining Women going “ew, go away” or “psh, it’s not that bad, there’s always someone for everyone.” Both sides need to learn. Understanding the challenges of both sides will only help people with dealing with the unbalanced ratios of attraction. How to behave more wisely and such. How to get what you want…and such
You cant take a lion out of its habitat and pretend that both a human and the animal need to "learn" together how to get along. Its a bit late for that. Women have lost their freaking minds. "Learning" is so over.
Agreed. I don't understand this war between women and men that is happening right now. Feels like it has gotten worse over the past 10 years. We need each other and we have to appreciate each other.
I agree that women shouldn’t be discouraged from being mothers. It’s Interesting that Chris & others never talk about women getting preferential treatment in every aspect of society. It’s foolish to imply that we could turn back time. Never happen. How about we give men an equal playing field in society. That would be a great start. Also, if you say anything remotely negative about women , no need to apologize or imply you’ll going to get in trouble.
13:00 - the men who will decide not to flirt with nor approach women in the gym, at work or the after-hours work event, at the grocery store, at the coffee shop, jogging in the park, at the outdoor movie night, at the political event, or while volunteering at the soup kitchen, are the very men that heterosexual women want to have relationships with. those are the "meet cute" / "how i met your mother" places. but those men have something to lose and won't approach as a result. the creep has nothing to lose.
Pedestalising motherhood isn’t going to help women find a partner if there’s still only the same small pool of men who they’d consider suitable as fathers. On its own, it’s merely going to lead to more involuntarily childless women (by sparking maternal goals in those few women who indeed wouldn’t have had them naturally, via means of social pressure), and/or more women using sperm donors to have kids if they don’t find a suitable mate in time. And that in turn will lead to even more single mothers. Winning… no 👎.
Most men don't want children, everytime I opened up on a date that I want to be a wife and mother they ghost me. I gave up.
On dating apps it's 4% so they are all going after the same man and are shocked things don't work out. If 4% of men can have 100% of women, no way any of them are settling down until they decide to, in the mean time they are gonna run through everything insight and live like a king.
@@godpilled9077 why did you give up? You should have kept trying.
@@ashleyalexander7388 that's stupid. Any man who wants to run through women is gonna do that. He could be rich and handsome or poor and ugly. It's about his choices. Stop making it seem like the have no control over themselves. Lots of handsome men with good hearts.
@@t.8936 I gave up because it's not worth getting rejected over and over. If men don't want families, then I don't want them.
There is no less freedom than at a job. They control speech, opinions and attitudes without allowing any dissent allowed at risk of getting fired, missing promotions or just ignored.
We're going through a huge shift in our collective consciousness in which the beliefs that were once sold to us as the cornerstones for building a happy and prosperous life i.e. getting married, having kids, getting a stable job, are on their last legs. This affects us all, both women and men, as we are now re-evaluating our values and standards, listening more to ourselves and not to others. We are simply adjusting to this new paradigm, and this creates glitches in all our relationships.
The only shift people are going through is they’re getting dumber and more useless and away from all the things with track records of helping
Totally agree with this but isn’t it interesting that we are now facing the largest issues we’ve ever seen with depression, suicide, drug abuse, etc. Perhaps we’re shifting in the wrong direction?
@@jackieyoung3359 I think it's bcs ppl are lost. They feel that there's no longer anything to hold onto. And it's not true - it just takes time, patience, to find our own values, our own truth, what we want, and trust that. Cos that's all we really have. It's not anyone or anything out there- it's ourselves.
@@Rima-ll5pe Again, I 100% agree with you but I just don't think most people are wired that way. Most people are sheep that like to follow the flock. It used to be that the old flock leader was the church or the monarchy or clan leader, etc. Now the flock leader is social media. Like they discussed in this video, human beings are very much monkey see, monkey do when it comes to adjusting their social norms. I don't think many people actually follow their inner truth sadly enough.
“Your own values and your own truth”. There’s the issue.
How not to be creepy with women, don't make eye contact, don't talk to women, walk around looking at the floor in case you're caught looking at a woman.
That will get you no women..I don't recommend any of that
That is the point. Walk away until you can go overseas in order to find actual women.
well said.
@@JF-xm6tu But it will also save your sanity, career and freedom. Honestly... women are just evil narcissists. Its not that you should feel afraid around them. Its that you should ignore them, as if they don't exist. All narcisists should be ignored. Especially women. Because women are the biggest narcissists. HUMANANITYS version of femaleness is the source of all narcissism. There are other planetes out there with females who are not assholes whores. But they actually protect males instead of demanding we die for them.
Women should be avoided by most men.
For a minute there I was wondering if he was talking to himself 😂😂 Major props for not interrupting.
Yeah this guy is a good podcaster.
It's hard for podcasts to run this smooth, they usually just shout over each other and you can't hear anything.
I love Chris Williamson he’s doing so great illuminating the toxicity of the war of the sexes
He is intellectually dishonest and avoids taboo subject matter
@@contracthit9839 If you say so. I think that’s a you problem though not his problem
@contracthit9839 How so? Curious to hear.
@angelaatkinson2991 HE is quick with an objective appraisal of the quality of men but not the women.40 % of American women are obese and 70 % are overweight his lack of congruence in this regard is most revealing....
And the war is going to continue you know what and I’m glad I’m gonna sit back and I’m gonna watch it all burnt to the ground because of today’s society there’s zero benefit to being with a woman none whatsoever not her boyfriend and not as her husband. So this is what me and my friends have learned keep your mouth shut. Keep your head down work on your mind your body in your spirit work on your career do what’s best for us because that’s what women are doing. They’re working on what’s best for them so that’s the message that we’re passing along to our friends if it happens and you find a good woman that’s fine but if you don’t don’t worry about it.
It's about having access to what you enjoy. I see people are afraid or confused. Not forcing helps me a lot. I'm a divorced mother and working hard. I'm blessed in both. And yes I miss a relationship, I have no idea if I ever find somebody special again but does that matter ? I'm already complete.
Female here who has subscribed and love learning about this! So well spoken. Great podcast content. Ps. I am currently in med school and i chose a career because i saw my parents were both always fighting about miney qhen i was growing up. I wanted a loving relationship so i figured if i had a job with money then i could help the household too, to avoid conflict and struggle. I just wanted to help. Also, if say i was single then i would need to provide for myself in that time.
This is a very good thing. Congrats. One thing I would suggest (which is highlighted in this video) is to not be too picky about "he has to earn more than me as a nurse, etc." You will accidentally isolate yourself if you do.
@@LuKiSCraft yes I agree. I am engaged to a great man who makes me laugh and feel loved and I want to do the same for him. I’m very lucky and take your advice 🙂
Just make lots of friends, get to know them and pick among your friends.
Great points. Very well balanced. I appreciate the importance he placed on mothers. Mothers matter.
Fathers matter, too.
@@user-cz5lj2vx1f The conversation was about women being gaslit by other women into thinking they're somehow "less" for choosing to become mothers and start a family, though. Men don't face that challenge so saying "Fathers matter" here is a bit tone-deaf, sorry. As the person in the video said, this is not a competition. You don't have to take every opportunity to tout your own point for it to be valid. (You're right, though.)
I think a lot of this disconnect can be attributed to the massive amount of conflicting “advice,”relationship coaching, online therapy/psychology directed toward dating tactics and gender based generalizations in social media. Also, the algorithms to which, feed us what we want to see and hear are powerful in validating thoughts and feelings that we WANT to experience as opposed to the ones we don’t. In doing so, we are becoming less likely to trust our own intuition and be self aware as to our own shortcomings because it’s easier to see others as the problem than it is to be aware of our own flaws. Reasonable kindness, compassion and empathy for others is being replaced by an unreasonable amount of “self love,” and downright selfishness to the point of creating an adversarial mindset between men and women. We all have quirks, flaws, red flags, trauma etc. Have some compassion for other people’s experience in life and think for yourself. Stop letting the internet decide what’s right or wrong for you.
ive been hurt by every woman i've ever dated. i even lost my children 19 years ago she cheated on me, and took my kids. i dont care because caring destroyed me. this world taught me having a heart gives you a weakness and everyone around you, especially women will take advantage of that weakness if they perceive even a shred of it. stoicism is the only rational defense in an irrational world. i stepped away from dating entirely. the only winning move is to not play at all.
I agree about motherhood somewhat. I like working, i like having other purposes in my life apart from domestic life. But motherhood is by far the most rewarding and jaw droppingly amazing thing I've ever experienced
Finally, someone understands the problem with dating apps for women. The things I'm attracted to aren't on there. How do I know you're kind and have a sense of humor? You discover that in person, but people won't ask you on a date in person anymore. Edit: I don't mean that people with good qualities don't use the apps, I'm saying the qualities I find attractive can't be seen in a picture, and therefore I'm not attracted to the profiles. Doesn't matter how good you look.
They are on the apps, you just swipe right by them.
At least you have the option of meeting them in person. Imagine if you couldn't even get any matches. Are you one of the women who swipes only 4.5% of profiles?
@@Danny-bd1ch You're shooting yourself in your own foot. A woman is admitting dating apps are failing for her for failing to portray a softer side of humanity and you take the opportunity to shame her? That's weak, bro.
@@jokhard8137 are you suggesting kind men with senses of humor don't use dating apps? I'm sure they do, in droves.
@@mr_knowitall That isn't the problem. The problem is the way dating apps operate. They work far better if you're looking for bad boys than kind guys. And frankly, falling in love is a lot about chemistry. You can't get a proper read on another person if you're swarmed with choices as women are and can't possibly go have a coffee with every guy who matched you.
Because as a collective we subconsciously believe (both men and women) that feminine energy is a weakness, instead of for the power that it is. This is the energy of nature, stillness, intuition, emotion, softness, nurturing, love. We see it in the world every day: how we disrespect mother nature -we just take, take,take from her, but don’t give. Same in porn. There are no empathetic leaders in politics, there is so much war and hardness. We desperately need a revaluation of female qualities, and learn to love and respvt both the masculine and feminine for what they are. (f.e. promoting women and still expecting them to behave like men is missing the point). Fortunenately, we have begun this process of reawakening and reappreciating stillness, spiritual practice etc
I believe women are strong, but in their own way. Much like men can go off to war and protect their home land. Women can go into child birth and bring the next generation. Both are working to the benefit of the society, but in their own ways. I'm sure men couldn't deal with child birth, much like war would likely truamatise women. We have our own advantages, we should play to it. BTW I'm not saying women shouldn't be in the army. But that they are more likely to be injured physically (I assume mentally too - not that war doesn't break men too)
Fabulous topic. Thank you both❤
Brilliant interview and 100% agree on all points. Wow, i thought i was the only one who was recognising these points and coming to the same conclusions
Wow, what a perfectly succinct breakdown. I should also posit most married men, and all divorced men, tell other men “don’t get married”.
Nope, MANY married men say GET MARRIED.
Yeah idk my husband gets so excited when his friends get married.
Ya marriages rock , tell em honey , see look honey I posted about how good are marriages are Lol no guys hate when their friends get into relationships, especially marriage You basically never see that person again until they breakup
But of course! WTF do you expect! Women have you, where they want you when you get married Most are "for the streets " anyway
Motherhood needs to be praised more, Instagram needs to stop the demonizing of children. I see so many post on how terrible having a small child is. It’s played off as jokes, but it’s not. And this corporate competition is terrible for both sexes and pits us all against each other
I'm not sure children are being demonized so much as people in general just can't afford them and resort to humor to cope with it. The average salary can barely afford the average rent, much less trying to afford these things when adding a dependent.
Fatherhood needs to be praised more in our society too. Fathers need to be seen as essential to a child's development, not just as the mother's financial support. Women complain that they are seen as "just mothers". Well it is no more a compliment for a man to be seen as just a wallet.
What I do know is that during the time I was a stay-home-mom, I was greatly looked down upon as a ‘nobody’ whom was a servant to my husband and a waste of my career; and even my own mother whom never stayed home for me was critical of such, but her I still as if today do not regret it one bit. I was always a natural iconoclast, as I strictly bided by my own principles, and of what I thought was the right thing to do rather than going with the trend.
Yep. This is why when we go out, we always being all of our kids and we have such a great time. We laugh and joke around together, even just at the hardware store. Let people see how wonderful it is!
Largely agree - also many men will not consider a woman if she is a single mother. It is often an immediate showstopper for them.
Haven’t touched on the increased promiscuity of women in general. I’ve checked out because modern women (in general) are difficult to work with and have given up their value (low body count). Its not just that men are not eligible partners.
You are probably going after the wrong women.
Don't forget they are having kids later and later with increased risk to themselves and the baby. Some through IVF.
Most men nowadays also lost their value ( income ) they make way less than they used to and the living expenses are icreasing. therefore, they are not ligible partners anymore.
@@somabalestra1131 the fact you tie a mans value solely to his income says a lot
@@smirka7 It's not just me, it's society. You sound like a f3m1nist now.
I do have some solutions for those problems: • forbid OF by law and Tiktok as well • control social media for kids • include warnings into dating apps (like on cigarettes, that they are harmful for you psychology) • support boys more in education (especially because they have 800 % more testosterone than gils, thus behave differently) so don't demonise masculinity anymore • all young people must serve a social service with the elderly people, to get to know them and help them • smartphones are always gathered when school starts and given back to the kids at the end of school • more classes that help you increase your hand on skills, instead of gender studies
1) Lets not become China 2) Lets not become China, although I agree this is also difficult to enforce. Social Media should be 16/18 + only imho 3) Interesting concept, this could extend to all social media (during account creation process).
Sounds communistic
Well due to the fact that the us was indoptrinated since the 80' that communism is the enemy your answer sounds somewhat negative. But you wouldn't believe it, there a certain aspects of this political form that have some benefits over our form. Do you believe you were so much more free? Wiith ads, mega-corporations that steer the world and junkfood? This is also just a form to control masses. Sometimes to forbid certain dangerous things is actually a good thing, like the gun laws, here in Germany we have almost no gun deaths, now compare this to the us, where every day 1000 ppl.die from gun deaths. You go girl :) @@onyxjade5474
@@onyxjade5474 good free druggs and crazy kits than. Cheers
A lot of smart, semsible & sensitive ideas to make things better! Bravo!
In the 1980s when I was in my 20s, my female colleagues at work, University classes and groups and through friends of friends trained me and my male friends to never approach women for intimacy, and praised me for acting successfully asexual. No wonder the fertility rate in Canada is down to 1.4 and will probably fall below 1 in the next generation, as the percentage of men who will never match continues to escalate.
Those women didn't find you attractive. I'd they did, they would be offended that you DIDNT pursue them sexually.
This is what they asked for... I don't think things are gonna go back to how they were. We move forward. Good luck to us all.
People did it to themselves. It is what it is
Chris hit the nail on the head at the end there, and the massive issue with society at the moment, everyone takes their queues for whether something is acceptable or not from whatever anyone else's reaction is. And therefore if one person is offended by something then that could end up being the narrative
I agree. Also it’s takes their cues*
In our gym there is an oft broadcast sign:”No Tripods Allowed”. It nope it in the bud.
In countries where the second demographic transition has occurred but patriarchal family traditions remain dominant, e.g Japan, Singapore, Korea, the decline in birth rates is particularly strong. Women work like men and carry the burden of running the household, and they do not want on top of that to burden themselves with another child. Scandinavian countries have the most favourable social security conditions, and therefore, their fertility problems are significantly lower.
Honesty he Is So spot on with what he says regarding Men not wanting to approach women through fear of being seen as creepy yet women expecting men to do the approaching and so and so fourth with accusations. What on earth do women expect when guys won’t do this anymore ?!? Why on earth are we all in this Competitive attraction cycle yet nobody actually really wants to bloody talk to each other it’s just absolutely absurd?!
Cold approaching is already over with. At best they can get referals from friends. Ask your female relatives the last time a guy approached them in public.
"Cold approaching" is a great term. And is actually super risky to women. In the split second that guy is talking to us, we have to assess if he seems dangerous, if he seems genuine and if we find him attractive. All while answering! That's a lot! 😅 And if we miss on the first two points, someone has our number who might terrorize us on the phone with various numbers after we rejected him or totally play us and waste our time and feelings. And the thing is: most women have made both of these experiences before. So they are being careful. I have been approached in real life and every time I did not have any kind of eye contact + smiling beforehand, I felt pressured into a corner and mostly overwhelmed. And often times had to defend myself verbally after giving a No. 😅 It is a trial and error process. But cold approaching is never a good idea. Even if you are super handsome and tall. Women are wary of strangers. Just get into her line of vision first, smile and assess her reaction. Or ask people out that you have actually spend some time with/something in common with.
@@isabelw.5666 Right okay so why are so many women now complaining about Men not approaching them ? We don’t hold the power You do ! Men won’t approach women because a high percentage of women find that creepy yet on the flip side a high percentage of women want men to approach ! It completely ridiculous and should tell women everything in this completely ridiculous modern day of dating that Men have had enough of being constantly confused about what to do here and that women expectations are just completely unrealistic in a “ Realistic world “ Men cannot win so they’re choosing not to bother anymore which isn’t good for society in terms of “‘Pro-creation “ . It holds no benefits for them whatsoever. It’s a shame it’s heading this way but unfortunately we just aren’t compatible in nature
Chris speaks for me completely
If I was with a secure gentleman I would of love to stay at home and raised my kids but his financial instability was always an issue. And when I did stay at home he treated my like I was baggage as opposed to a partner
When I read stuff like this, I feel people take it and run with it as if that’s all men. I’m pretty sure everyone can say they picked a bad relationship or two in their life.
Agreed. If I was with an actual supportive wife, I would love to provide all the finances for her to be a stay-at-home mother to raise children and raise/teach them. But every girl I have dated has treated me a that night’s mobile meal ticket. They don’t even bother with conversation. They are simply manipulative users that want you to pay for everything, without ever contributing anything, even being mentally present. Better to be alone and not being grifted.
@@Nobleheart111 I believe that. What I notice in general is that kind people tend to deal with the most bs. Not just in relationships but even in a work environment and life. Often times if you're a kind, well-meaning person there are people who will value that and there are people who see you as a weak person and use that as an opportunity to take advantage of you and mistreat you. Finding good genuine people to have in your life is challenging because kind people who are content with their lives tend to be hidden and keep to themselves because they have no need for outside validation, therefore looking for a good partner/friendship requires alot of risk and digging.
A lot of women who become mothers are _put_ in that second class citizenship by some men, some parents and some churches/religions. It's not OK. I've heard so many stories (including my own) where as soon as the wedding is over, the wife becomes the husbands child _and_ his mommy. She's to fully submit, give unconditional respect and love without it being reciprocated, she's expected to run the house even if she's working and if she asks him for help he either rages out, calls her a nag OR he will use weaponized incompetence by doing things wrong or mess things up so she stops asking for help and just does it herself. The you add kids to the mix and the husband is still demanding she work FT and work a second shift at home, after hours, because the man won't help out and THEN gets angry when she doesn't want sex. She's expected to cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, raise kids, lift up her husband and it all seems to go unrecognized. Many men don't know how to do housework or raise kids because they are told that's the "woman's" job....and it starts in childhood. Sons being coddled while daughters are taught from a young age the ways of homemaking. I hate that this is happening to society 😢 Men and women are amazing in their design~ and there are healthy men & women out here...but it's few and far between. I'm very grateful for this discussion. We NEED to come to the table and look at what's happening in order to figure out how to fix it so this all doesn't continue to unravel. The world has changed from the 1950's where the husbands income could cover all living expenses. Both partners have to work now, mostly, so both should be helping out with the child raising and the house work. This is how we do things in my marriage~ we are equals to one another and it works beautifully! And it's so _easy!_ My first marriage? Not so much. I was dying under the workload and the emotional, spiritual, sexual and financial abuse. I'm still healing from the trauma of that experience. Thank you again for this interview ❤ This discussion is desperately needed!
Exactly!
Being told the lock on the door is to keep people out not in. Being told his name's on the rent book yet I'm the one paying the rent.
why did your 2nd husband sign up for your situation? seems like a bad deal unless you bring something amazing to the table. does he not like women w/o children?
How about instead of thinking that women are made to work hard and men are coddled, it become the other way around? Like my husband. He doesn't cook or clean or do any of that, but he did carry several tons of shingles one by one package up the ladder in the blazing heat and shingle our roof himself while I sat indoors with a cold drink, holding our baby. And he did work building houses in the freezing cold while I sat inside making a meal with a warm latte in perfect comfort. Just make the men work harder. "wE cAnT sUpPoRt OuRSeLf oN a SinGle iNComE" oh yeah? Who told you that, the men? 😂😂😂😂 dude. Try being a little smarter. Our son will be taught to work hard and make more money so he can keep his wife at home. If she has to wash a few dishes and cuddle some babies, sounds like a pretty good deal for her.
@@t.8936women have to work also, most men cannot afford a wife that stays home.
Hmm, interesting points. One point you missed (or just not discussed here) is that women choose to go into careers/high paying careers Not Only for Fulfillment (although that's huge, for sure; who doesn't want to be fulfilled), but also so that they have Choice and Power over their own lives, should the man that they marry choose to not take responsibility for them and their children or (even worse) end up being abusive. This happens A LOT. If a woman has no career and her own money, then she's more likely to be stuck (along with her kids) to be forced to stay (or, at least, it's super hard to leave) with a man who's abusive or very unkind to her and their children. But, if she makes her own money, then of course, she's no longer stuck at staying with an abusive, uncaring etc. man. That being said, there are (of course) a lot of Amazing and Kind and Loving Men out there; it's just that (as with for men), you never know early on what kind of a partner you're going to get. I feel very lucky to currently be with an amazingly-loving and thoughtful man! (Thank you to all of the men out there who are loving and who genuinely try to be as giving as much as possible, of course, looking for the same in return). 🙂 I do agree that there's some social media clips out there where simple offers of help women or gentle and respectful flirting are stigmatized; that's not fair to men.
This sounds great in theory, the problem is most women are attracted to men who are above them (not just money but also higher social status, more educated, leadership positions, etc). That means the more a woman earns and the further she advances in her career and education, the fewer guys she would consider "economically attractive" mates. So an increasing number of women are only interested in a small number of the top men, which spoils these men and reduces their motivation to treat women well because if she leaves he's got a dozen more to pick from, while also fostering resentment in the "unwanted" men that successful women consider to be beneath them.
There might be some truth to this, @@elmateo77. Although, it's not universally-true, as there are women who look for and value things like honesty, kindness, mutual-respect, responsibility etc. (i.e. "The Nice Guy"), as much as men of "higher status." This is increasingly-true as women have more economic opportunities of their own. Regardless, the point I was making, is this: If men don't partner with a women who's successful economically (or, they part ways from the woman - whether it's just because they grow apart or because she's somehow abusive and awful- or she parts ways from him for her own reasons), chances are, the man is ok to go out on their own and make their own way. It's just been in relatively-recently where women had just about as many opportunities (economically) as men, and therefore aren't forced to stay with someone who's awful or abusive to them or their kids. And, what person, man or woman, would want to be forced to stay with an awful, abusive partner if they don't have to? My point: more women are choosing to forge their own paths, of course for the fulfillment etc., but just as much so, so that they have control over their own lives.
@@elmateo77 Attraction is one thing and safety is another. Women are attracted to toxic masculinity in men but that will lead her to single motherhood or being killed. It's conflicting between the two.
It's too late. Women have got way to many options to feel satisfied with their choice of partner. Pandora's box has been opened. It's going to get MUCH worse.
Human population in 2200 is gonna be less than 2B and in 2300 less than 100M lol ... no joke
There is absolutely nothing that gives more joy and fulfillment to a woman than becoming a mother! My eldest sister did everything right as a feminist. She partied, went to law school, got a successful career, never got married to her long term boyfriend. Then she hit her mid 40’s and became extremely depressed and nihilistic. An opportunity arose to adopt a 3 year old little girl. I’ve never seen her more happy! Before it had been years since anyone had seen her smile. Now she laughs and plays with her daughter everyday. They have both been transformed by each other and it’s such a beautiful thing to behold. I tear up just thinking about it.
Anecdotal.
It is true. Parenting, and not just by the mother, can be the most profound source of joy we can get. It also comes with the greatest risks.
She did everthing right?????? Very odd way to look at it.
Key word "feminist", she did everything right as a feminist @@bg5215
Why are we not considering stay at home ‘parenthood’. If we’re considering the stigma behind staying home as a mother. What about the stigma as staying home as a father? The ‘stay at home’ situation has been looked down upon as a whole. Let’s consider how we raise our consideration of ‘roles’ instead of who should be/feel alright in them. And I say this from knowing some wonderful stay at home dads who have had to deal with the double stigma of stay at home parenthood from their end. P.S. the ‘stories’ of men abusing women have been true for a long time. It will take quite some time for men to prove on their end that this is different. And every news story or guy who won’t take ‘no’ undoes the trust that I know many men are working towards earning of women. It will take time and evidence.
Men Just Have To Do Better without women doing anything
That’s a weird take. MST women bust their butts working and then coming home having to care for their kids and the household and it’s a lot
@@Sarah-with-an-H Sarah, you have just been the victim of a drive-by Troll. Since pecan pie is almost entirely sugar, your worst estimation of tooth decay in the above troll, does not even BEGIN to imagine the rot.
As a woman who decided to be a mostly stay at home mother. I am now finding no one will give me a break when it comes to work opportunities and in my own work place I feel demonised for my choices. Despite having worked at Director level the hardest and most meaningful job I have had is being a mother. As its a complete career killer and you have to trust your partner will support you for life i won't encourage my daughter to follow the same path. Especially as my husband is now my ex and i was doing fine but now that I'm being dragged through court I'm really struggling. The woman choosing to ignore their hearts and not becoming mothers are the smart ones.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It must be really hard but never regret your path. Your time will come , you'll catch a break at some point. Never ever give up. I gave up my career too and although I'm struggling financially I've raised children I'm very proud of . All the things I ever bought whilst flying high with a well paying job are all gone . I watch every penny but the real price is the value in my children. Even if I never make it financially my life has not been a waste. You'll catch a break soon. I promise.
A man that has a child with you is divorcing you. You must be either terrible wife or you chose a terrible man as a husband.
Hey, I was a stay at home mom too and launched a business while taking care of my kids. I too was deemed unemployable despite my education and experience. So i had no choice but be self employed but i was very parttime. My husband suddenly lost his job and i was earning around $30k, to support 5 people and a kid in college. It was rough. My husband became abusive and we nearly divorced. But i stuck to my business, worked hard and I am now in the top tax bracket, and I am a top earner in my field. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Figure out a business that u can do remotely or virtually that is information based so you don't have a huge startup cost. Analyze the business and find a niche. Learn SEO. I do zero paid advertising but I maximize SEO. Network but find useful ones. Either potential clients or people who can support your business. I found the chamber of commerce useless. It's full of bankers and realtors, and i was looking for manufacturers.
Women choosing NOT to become mothers aren't "smart" because most of them didn't directly choose that lifestyle. They are victims of circumstance. No one can have it all simultaneously. I'd argue there are more career driven women that want families than your situation. That's why IVF and egg-freezing are a thing now. I'd further argue that it is easier for a single divorcee mother to regain her career than it is for a career driven woman to marry and overcome geriatric pregnancy.
So smart women don't spread their genes right ? Does it sound very smart 🤓 ?
I have been a full time working mum. Why because I love working and as a family we could not survive on one wage. Looking back we both wish we had spent more time with the kids and hadn't been constantly been worried about finding appropriate childcare. For a huge period if my career Imy salary just paid child care to protect my job. We didn't understand that that wouldn't be the case for year or so but for many years. Now in our 50s with the youngest just left education we end up earning more than ever before no mortgage and cutting our hours due to health problems and exhaustion and because we can. Having a young family is tough with or without a career expecially on a limited income. My husband works part time to care for me it was extremely difficult to find an employer who understood that males need to work part time as well as females. I work part time due to my health and that is much more accepted.
Full disclosure, I haven't seen the Barbie movie, I am not the demographic. But what I can't get my head around is I remember when Barbie was vilified for promoting unrealistic body image to young women. Now the movie gets the actress that is the actual physical embodiment of the body image that was so toxic. I don't understand it.
It’s only freedom if you have the freedom to get away from your children and you have a perfect situation But women lose themselves. If they’re just a wife and just a mother, they have to have some sort of outside influence in order to Thrive. But the basic facts are people are economically forced to choose to have two incomes. At least the ones I know are Also, women’s contributions have been great and vast and far more than the last 50 years even if culture has changed women have worked always How else would we support ourselves? Not everybody hits the jackpot right away for marriage And yes, a lot of women don’t want a family It has a lot to do with how they were brought up There’s more to life than just having kids and not everybody enjoys them
I disagree with some of what you said, people are not forced to have two incomes. People make dumb decisions with their money, i.e. large homes, new cars, and other materialistic things to impress people. Live under your means, invest and always have a plan B. It's not hard to become a millionaire, it just takes an average IQ & accountability.
yes, women are not brought up to have children anymore, they're brought to have minds of their own....and it's joyful blast! cheers !
@@GracePK1929 You can't have a house and pay all the bills and pay children expenses alone If you have a single income nowadays. Men nowadays can't afford it. That's the fastest ticket to their poverty. You seem like you live in a bubble.
Once upon a time, there lived a prince who asked the princess to marry him. She said no. And the prince drove fast cars, drunk lots of beer, went fishing whenever he liked and lived happily ever after
We are missing the elephant in the room. This trend is driven by the market. Industrial revolution lead to the abolition of slave labour, then women's liberation doubled the workforce. I a world that focuses on higher and higher economic growth. This trend is encouraged and designed by the market.
0:00: 💡 The conversation about gender challenges should focus on understanding both men and women's experiences and finding ways to uplift men without bringing women down. 3:40: 😔 Many women who wanted to have families are unable to, and men are avoiding relationships and intimacy. 7:33: 🗣 Dating apps and the Me Too movement have led to a lack of ability to flirt and fear of approaching each other, causing an epidemic of loneliness and sexlessness. 11:14: 🤔 The conversation discusses the potential negative consequences of highlighting predatory behavior in the gym and the impact it may have on innocent men. 14:38: 🤔 The video about the toxic male gaze in the gym could have gone either way in terms of public reaction, potentially setting new standards for acceptable behavior. Recap by Tammy AI
You're a star.
This is exactly the problem we are facing as women, instead of interviewing a woman with experience in being a mother and a WOMAN, men always chose to interview or hire a man to make decisions, solve or do work, especially after women are no longer desirable or if they have children.
Where the hell is this support group and why aren't they first on the list for fostering thrown away children? I'm tired of hearing about soaring child trafficking and abusive adoptions by nefarious people. This support group needs to realign their mission with connecting these sadden, involuntarily, childfree/less women with parentless youth.
Thank you! Agreed
I agree. It merely highlights that these people wanted children for all the wrong reasons.
If the ultimate conclusion is that the intellectual and financial freedom of women equals the downfall of men (which no one really wants to say) then the only sensible way to right that wrong is to remove those freedoms (but again, nobody wants to say that either). A lot of the blame for the messy dating market seems to be put on women - women getting educated, women being hypergamous, women going for only small number of men.....how about considering what young women have observed from older women - unhappy and unsatisfying marriages with men who are childlike, coupled with this age old idea that men dont really want marriage and that it is something that women force and coerce them into? how many times has the phrase 'ball and chain' been used by men about their wives?? how many women are splitting the bills 50/50 but doing 70-80% of the domestic work in the home? the poor communication? Ive yet to meet a truly happily married couple. Are Young women supposed to aspire this??? with everything the world has to offer them (more than any other generation before) is THIS what would they should be sacrificing for? Andrew Tate and Kevin Samuels followers who refuse to get an education?.
Using that logic - why would any young man from the 60s to the 90s have aspired for marriage when the world offered so much to them? For men marriage has always been partly a 'duty' to overall society - not just for their own happiness. It is to provide and produce the next generation. The ironic thing is if men in the 60s and 70s had acted like young women are now and solely looked after their own interests society would have started to regress decades ago and we never would have arrived at this point where women have so much freedom.
@@mark-sb6osand the natality problem is massive and will certainly have terrible consequences. We have to find a way to replenish our societies with our children or else we will lose our sovereignty completely and with that war and suffering will inevitably come.
The reality is men think they are victims and women think they are the victims and actually it's somewhere in the middle. I know of many couples who are grown up enough to sort through their problems, accepting their own parts they play in the problems and working together to have happy lives.It's not really a gender thing it's more about people who are always looking for the easy option, expecting their partner to make them happy when the only person who can make you happy is yourself. I find being grateful for the littlest things in life adds up to me being, on average, extremely happy, and people want to be around people who are happy. Stop blaming other people for your own unhappiness. Stop blaming other people for not having a family if you want to have a career, lots of money, to travel, lots of sex and miss out on having a family or vice versa. We choose who we want to be no matter what life throws at us and sometimes it throws a lot. Strong people see the best in life no matter what situation they are put in. Sorry for the rant but I'm a Kiwi in Australia and I just feel so lucky and grateful for my life.
When you turn women into men, and men into women, what does anyone expect is going to happen…..when the lights go out….nature will take its course…
@@mark-sb6os but you see. that I hate my wife trope was way before the 60s and that's the period of time where women were more traditioal and yet men complained about marriage. I have seen many classics that depict married men as someone who is trapped. Remember the famus sitcom Married With Children? and how Al complains about his family all the time? Marriage and children were never things young men valued, it's cars, money, fame and hot bishes. Women nowadays have started to actually listen to yall and saying what you guys have been saying on TV, movies, sitcoms, standup comedy for years and it backfired.
It’s been a long 8,000 years to finally get something that looks a bit like a level playing field. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that women have sprinted off towards the horizon.
There’s no thing such as a level playing field when men and women are so different. When they were “unlevel” they were actually more in harmony with the genders and it was also better for children
Equality is a myth, you were mislead. Sorry about it
You are INACCURATE. Please gain an education in anthropology and relevant social sciences.
"Sprinted off to the horizon" women are now alone there and clearly women aren't happy with this situation or 'win" either. Life isn't short when you're alone, it's brutally long.
More like women sprinted off into the desert chasing a mirage, while guys are just sitting by the pool sipping a beer. You go ladies! Work those corporate jobs and spend that $$$ so you can keep my stock portfolio going up.
What Chris fails to understand is that the people who devalue motherhood the most are men. Women don't want to have children not because of feminism but because of what they see their friends, aunts, mothers, sister etc go through in pregnancy, labor, delivery then the next 18 years of the husband "working late". He fails to mention statistics of infidelity rates going up when a woman is pregnant or post partum at her most vulnerable state. The reason being that the husband is busy cheating while their wives are at home with a screaming newborn. I've seen women suffer from postpartum depression, its horrible. Not to mention the fact that a if a woman stays home with the child and the man decides to leave, she will have a difficult time getting back into the workforce. For most women motherhood is a major risk on various levels that men either don't or just refuse to understand. I'm not saying all men are bad but patriarchy is a system that breeds narcissism, and the abusive men have used it to their advantage. We as humans previously lived in a very traditional society where men literally could do anything they wanted. If it was so perfect then the seed of feminism would not have been able to grow. Thats what Chris does not comprehend. This issue did not start 28 years ago when he was born, 👶 its been brewing for centuries. If women were treated with hunan decency as mothers and wives then of course they would want to do it but men have shown us that human decency in a relationship does not exist especially when it involves children. So yeah, motherhood is a hard pass for me, there no gold at the end of that delusional rainbow. And I didn't learn that from reading books about feminism, I, like most intelligent women learned that from watching the behavior of men.
You have not looked at statistics at all. Do it, it would help you get grounded in reality.
@@speedracer7022 - you have not met pregnant women, single mothers, talked to domestic violence victims, worked at social services, volunteered at battered womens shelters, (which I've done along with 2 college degrees in psychology and research) try it, it may help you get grounded in reality.
@@speedracer7022 You don't ned statistics, it's all infront of you. I can't tell a man I date that I want to be a mother anymore. I'll get ghosted. Men all the time complain about single mothers and marriage. Now women are starting to listen to them.
I'm sorry to hear that. Feminism and inflation outpriced women. Men too. I'm not playing any blame game today. Remember that guys who are ready for children would love to hear that from a woman as long as the woman is not needy, filled with bitterness or self-righteousness. Something like that. God Bless and good luck
@@speedracer7022 Not really feminism, it's evolutinary. Men are not suppose to be given women easily, they suppose to earn women and get a sense of purpose. Women are suppose to choose better but they believe in fairytales about men and If she wants the best men she is told she needs to settle and If she does and struggles she then suppose to choose better. It's those believes that we are being hold that are contradictory. That's the problem. Aside from women not being marriage material for a lot of men. Average men in today's economy cannot be eligible partner for the women that they actually want. Somehow people like this man on the vid seem to think we live in the comfortable economy that of the 50s. Those days are long gone. Life is harder now for men. They shouldn't expect the stable life of the men in the past.
We're social beings and historically, have come from tribal cultures. So, it does stands to reason that we're not meant to be alone in life & need some form of interpersonal & communal connections. We need to find ways to bring people back towards interconnected relationships & communities. Both men & women deserve to be respected & loved, so we need to first love & respect ourselves, so that then we can love & respect others.
I remember when I approached one girl when I was younger just wanted to present myself and ask for her name and she just said "Get away from me" turned around and started walking quickly. Ahh good memories ;]
I remember in middle/high school girls pretending to flirt with you only to humiliate you in front of everyone if you fell for it and tried to ask them out. Those same women are now single and just can't figure out why guys aren't asking them out...
@@elmateo77 women can be assholes even though the general opinion is that they're all nice like some kind of angels. Their decline though is a lot quicker than men's
Brother, I think this is a very hard thing to do in today's day and age of society. To bring the motherhood role back requires the world to be a safer place. The world to have some kind of equal justice system if crimes are committed against a woman, let alone, a child. The perverse, hedonistic, out-of-control situation with crimes against children alone, is a great deterrent for women to feel safe having children. Parents would need to know it's worth bringing a child into the world because it's a safer environment and community standards are leveled up. That there's not going to be any confusion for their child whether there a male or a female for that matter. Or if someone in the education system has more dominance and control over their children then they as parents do. I think at this point, and very sadly, that the desire to even have children in a very difficult world, is going to require a level of parenting that we have never seen before...
I'm truly curious about what more do want to feel to have children, if your living in a first world country then you are in the safest period in human history. A lot of third world countries, even with the hellish they live, most still have a strong birthrate.
@@emptyshogun6194 well first off, if you believe that America is a first world country, then you have another thing to learn. If you would allow me to explain... We live in a hedonistic lawless country where crime runs rampant , and the saddest thing of all, a lot of the criminals are the police force and the government and the judicial. We have over five million illegal immigrants that have crossed our border since January of 2023, who are now roaming the streets aimlessly committing robberies, drug sales, sex trafficking, theft, robbery, rape, and murder. Just to give you an idea of where I live one out of thirty-six people are victims of crime. If you call that first world, then so be it. I wouldn't bring a child into this world. We can also get into the statistics of narcissism and psychopathy here in America. When 1 out of 10 people you know have a Criminal mind. We have about 300 uncaught serial murderers that the FBI knows of roaming the streets of America right now. And the average State attorney has over 40,000 cases on their desk, that does not include every local town city attorney. It's far from first world here.
there would need to be a real assurance that after sacrificing to be a mother a woman would be well compensated and taken care of forever... Women see women pour themselves into family, foregoing self and carefree development and education end up trapped in abusive/bad marriage's or alone with kids and nom prospects for a new relationship and a horribly handicapped career path.
@r.walker7986 In the west where its so important to always be independent and self reliant because of the lack of communities and close big extended families, i can see why a lot women would he terrified of being left alone pregnant or with children. But it can become very dangerous to want to invite the government more and more into thr house of families to take up the place of a husband and a father, if the government has responsibility over you, then they also have authority, all that money and "care" is going to come at a the cost. I'm not saying it's a bad idea, but the money that's going be needed to take on such an endeavor has to be paid by someone, and it's probably going to be majority of single men and some single women being forced to pay to take care of children that aren't theirs, which will probably cause problems in the future.
You do realise the more women abuse children under the age of 9 than men. I know what your going to say that's bs. That's what I thought too so I check it out through several sources and it's apparently true. Don't know if it's because they have more access to children that age or what. Show's you you can't assume anything.
It’s all so true, thank you for sharing a based and detailed analysis of the current dating scene
Motherhood isn’t catered to/revered in this(American) society financially, or socially. But it’s never been including in non western societies. even in my home country(“developing”) country, the matriarchs (married women in my family) warned me my whole life that getting an education and a good high earning job as a woman was the most important thing to keep me safe , warm, and fed in a developing(now 3rd world) country. Not getting married. My looks will fade, my fertility will cease, getting married, much less to a good wealthy man, isn’t guaranteed(my aunt’s previously beloved wealthy husband became an alcoholic and physically abusive, he also stole money from her even if it was for her children’s food or schooling). Marrying just for love, or getting pregnant too soon without a high earning husband(in a country where 70%+ live in poverty), is signing your physical safety away(poor women get beat, murdered and raped at extremely high rates and repeatedly. In this society mothers are loved but not respected. Childcare, schooling, housing, groceries, gas, medical care is unaffordable. Without solving the financial issues we cannot hope that women will accept men who can’t provide them with their basic needs(including emotional needs).
All their points are valid... But there is 1 thing.. All men with No kids share, they would prefer NOT to raise kids that are NOT their own.If it means avoiding such women, who have kids that are not yours, so be it.
Dating coaches are advocating "day game" and cold approaching, yet when I tried that, women (mostly) rejected me staight away and in quite a harsh way. I've heard seveal women state that they find it absolutely unacceptabel for a man to approach them in public. How are we as men supposed to approach women when they (many of them) act so rude to us (at least me even when I did it in a polite way)?..
Women are fine when they are approached by men they are attracted to respectfully. All women are not available to all men..
Here is the one trick dating coaches don't want you to know. Sometimes, people don't want to be approached for dating. As you can see from your personal experience, people, not just women, don't like to be cold approached. It is really as simple as that. I don't know why you are not using your eyes and brain and blindly trusting this dating coach, most people enter relationships in a safe and approachable setting like a coffee shop, bar, school, work, something like that. It is shocking to me that dudes like you actually cannot comprehend some women don't like to be harassed by strangers in the street and reacted appropriately (harshly). You even state that you heard several women say they find it unacceptable to approach them in public, which matches your experiences exactly and yet you are still confused. I don't understand how there are so many clueless men out there who don't know how to talk to people and yet are shocked when they struggle in finding a date.
@@rw5622 A lot of men simply can't read social cues and there are a lot of guys out here who have undiagnosed asperger's or are on the spectrum so they really have trouble seeing when a person is just trying to get from A to B and not trying to be romantically pursued.
@@rw5622 Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I do agree most of the way. I am not blindly following dating coaches though. I'm listening to people from all sides of the spectrum to get a birds eye view and to sample the pieces of the puzzle myself. The cultural differences are enormous from country to country. I know that it's way easier and considered more normal to talk to strangers in the US that here. Even in eastern Denmark people are a lot more socially open than here in western Denmark. But just like when you try to force a fart, forcing a chat with a closed woman on the street might turn to shit. So no, I'm not into that anymore. Talking to women is being thought of as a skill, and partially that's true, but underneath the surface of a bad communicator more often is insecurity stemming from low self esteem. That's a more common problem and something more men should look at. I recieved a lot of psychotherapy for that and it helped more that any advice I ever got from a dating coach.
I’ve not had a gym membership for many years now (work out at home or hike/run on trails) but I kept hearing how the gym was a great place to meet women. I literally can’t see how that is possible as the women I noticed just seem so closed off at the gym wearing headphones and just act like they couldn’t be bothered. I feel women would be annoyed if you interrupted their workout. I don’t know, I hate the apps but cold approaching has always been a problem for me, it just hasn’t worked.
14:37 He made a great point there. A lot of morally insecure people prefer to conform to emotionally-triggering negative prejudicial judgement for the sake of their perfectionistic-social-expectation.
In 15 mins Chris sums up the incredible societal problems we'll face in 20 years because of our catastrophic modern dating culture!!!
Before you put motherhood back in high regard you have to reestablish the value of children. Only then will the sexes come together with mutual respect and consideration.
I think this interview is biased and misses a lot. As a woman, I have completely lost interest in putting any effort toward men whatsoever. The amount of mental and emotional labor men demand is something they don't even bother to understand or acknowledge. This labor includes just vetting a man to find out if he's actually interested in me or just trying to get laid while he looks for someone he IS interested in instead. The risks of getting used, or getting involved with a man long enough to be intimate only to find out he's selfish or bad in bed, is way greater than the reward of maybe finding a good one. I'd rather just take care of myself. I don't need a man-child draining all my energy and life force when I could invest that into my own life and ambitions. Another point, on behalf of many women, we find men that don't give as good as we get and we're sick of being in one-sided relationships where we end up feeling used and taken for granted. And then there are the ways that popular culture has caused men to punch way outside their weight class, expecting beautiful young women to partner with them when they're little more than fat slobs- as portrayed as acceptable in all kinds of sitcoms and other shows like The King of Queens. So then when we demand men be aesthetically pleasing, fit, and good-looking at the same rates mend demand the same, all of a sudden it's some sort of a shock. News flash: women are visual too.
Agree 💯 with everything you say in this comment. I am through with men. The time and energy I used to waste on men, I lavish on myself now.
This is why I gave up, men don't want a wife, men don't want children. Men just want sex and that's it. They have no interest in being a husband (let alone a good husband) or father (let alone a good father). So just decenter men, let the family dream go.
I agree, you're better off alone. Good luck.
@@sandrasphere Try giving women a chance :P.
This was always the case, but I believe women relied on male relatives to vet the men to find out the ones who are serious for their sisters and daughters... but that's called controlling/toxic these days so it doesn't happen. Having your prospective partner meet your dad and brothers before you go out used to send a clear message not to mess around, as they'll be watched closely and will intervene if needs be. Nearly half of homes don't even have a father and parents are usually only having 1-2 kids... so ya. Goodluck to us all. But women are smart and savy enough so they don't need no man like yourself, so it shouldn't be a problem. Just get some girls around and keep busy with hobbies.
I am SO here for this conversation!! Thank you! 🤍 I am 16 weeks pregnant with my first, at 38 years old. Having spent 12 years working in the London property industry I was made redundant at 10 weeks pregnant. I do believe women who get to do it both are very fortunate? But why should we have to? We are yet to find out if we will be raising a boy or girl. If it’s a boy I pray he’ll feel equipped to use his strength in the context of compassion. And if it’s a girl, she’ll be equipped to navigate a society that expects so much.
congrats!!
Why did you wait so long?
But you don't get to do both at once. The chances of an abnormality in having your first child at nearly 40 years of age is huge
But you don't get to do both at once. The chances of an abnormality in having your first child at nearly 40 years of age is huge
It is not only high functioning, high value women who grieve about not having had the opportunity to have children. I wanted a large family. After my PhD work; during medical school I found dating problematic, a problem that persisted through residency. Women in my cohort were not interested in family. I meet their minimum physical requirements, I'm 6' 2", trim (swimmer's build) and resemble Alan Alda enough that nurses at one hospital where I had privileges called me "Hawkeye". No takers. I'm now nearly 70 years old, clearly out of the 'mating game' and operationally out of the 'dating game' And I grieve not having children, but as a man - nobody in Western society gives a damn. Just silently, "Man Up"
Can we also put fathers on a pedestal? And encourage men to develop people skills and choose careers in health, psychology, education, and administration, so boys can have role models that show they belong in education and that mental health care is for them and develop the skills to be better partners and be full parents? I know so many fathers who are better parents than the shitty mothers who raised kids they didn't want because sexism told them both moms are better parents than dads. Men need to show each other they can be good at those things just like women need to see they can do stem. Because of culture and availability bias, we are self-selecting ourselves into gendered roles, and this is hurting men at the bottom and women at the top.
There is a reason behind it because ;- 1- Society doesn't expect much from fathers and 2- Women are nurtures naturally. If a father abandons his family, the single mother is to blame. If a mother abandons her family, the single father is praised. In our Islamic religion. There is a verse in a Holly Qu'ran that says (Paradise is under mother's feet). It's to show that a mother's role is far superior than a father's role and thus, they get held on a much higher standard in parenting.
This is so ridiculous. He almost landed on a good point at 13:00, and then took a detour… Isn’t it logical for someone to be more cautious of strangers in a neighborhood where a small gang is operating? Are women not allowed to adjust their behavior in order to feel more safe? It doesn’t make sense to encounter several dangerous men, and then continue to trust strange men… even if the majority of men are not going to hurt you, it is only logical for one to distrust them. It’s one of many symptoms of a problem you are not addressing. Women don’t hate the concept of motherhood, they just no longer feel safe/protected/cared for in a patriarchal system because so many have been abused by it. Why were they abused, because the system is designed in a way that allows bad men to be abusive and to feel entitled in that abuse. Women ran to the workforce to gain safety (so they don’t have to feel dependent on anyone). It’s not disdain/disrespect for motherhood, it’s fear. Where did the fear come from? Lived experience. Go fix the gang! Stop blaming women for trying to protect themselves.
Wow. I couldn't agree with you more. Its very disappointing.
Fixing the gang needs to be a collective effort, raising boys and girls from the youngest ages to reject patriarchal norms. People keep saying "it's not my job" but someone needs to do it. I personally try to explain this to men around me and participate in positive masculinity spaces but we need much more people to join the cause.
I don't agree that the system is set up in a way that allows abuse from men to go unpunished, if you are a guy and you sexually assault some woman and get caught doing so, you will probably go to jail, and rightly so
Small gang: Snow White did OK around a small gang. You underestimate women. There may be some credence to trepidation, as repeatedly, the most open and friendly females were always Lesbians, though some admitted being so because they were gang raped and similarly treated. Solace, safety, I no longer understand. Patriarchy is Eurasian Import, and only exists due to political males having found it to be useful for accumulating social dominance , which INCLUDES attempt at dominance of other males. I suggest COMPLETE rejection of hierarchy. This WILL require you to CEASE "hero-worshiping" - Ridiculous shit like pro sports and accepting ANY order without question MUST be ended by ANY individual desiring sincerely to change the culture.
Men and woman are “equal”, the Birkenhead Protocol no longer applies, it’s now everyone for themselves, no quarter will be “given”, or “asked”……survival of the fittest….
I’m a therapist. Women with families and husbands aren’t more happy than those without. All stats demonstrate kids don’t make women happy. Happy ppl however do have rich meaningful relationships.
I happen to agree with all they said. I think we are in very difficult times for both men and women regarding the flirting/dating landscape. Young men do not get to explore, learn and practice their flirting with women and women are in a constant state of anxiety at either low or high levels when around men. A lot of natural gender differences are being negatively judged rather than being something we learn from one another to build greater respect in heterosexual interactions. As a woman who have had the chanced to be approached by respectful men I did not want to interact with, I also recognise how complex these moments are experienced by women. Our instinctual response when getting unwanted attention from men is one of disgust. In my case, this is a very strong physiological response. The non-socialised response from women can be very harsh or even toxic towards their male counterparts because the physiological response can be confused with the wider experience and behaviours that the men are acting out. It takes more self-awareness and mindfulness on the part of the women to manage these interactions healthily. Men will also have their struggles with their internal experiences on the other side of the spectrum, where attraction is very strong. We all are pushed and pulled by forces of nature that we have a duty to filter through care and compassion towards others and our own selves. Toxicity, between the genders and in other sexually charged interactions, seems to come from not understanding the forces of nature and how differently they manifest in others and other genders than our own. Ms Laurence Baretto de Souza, Psychotherapist.
Extremely well articulated points in this discussion well done to both....💪🏿
The solution to encouraging women to be mothers would be to pay women to be mothers. If it’s such an important job, why not compensate women for doing it?
You'd have men pretending to be women to get free money lol
You make many very valid points.
As a man, nothing disgusts me more than the idea of working hard for someone who I'm not attracted to and have no connection with.
The narrator in Barbie 'Motherhood can be ok I suppose' then asking the audience to ask their mothers if they enjoyed the experience, implying that their mothers would've been happier not raising them. All this combined with the imagery of little girls smashing babies into tiny pieces. 🤔
Add the fact that marriage is not just professing love and commitment to your future spouse in front of friends and family, but is a contract with the state that stacks in women's favor. If the marriage ends in divorce (~50% and by far initiated by women), it is the women who benefit financially and in custody ratios of any children produced. It is a bad contract for men in general.
Nothing in the books that stacks anything in womens favor, if you choose a low achieving woman who makes less or decide to allow a woman to circumvent/sacrifice her career and earning potential for temporary financial leverage/ to purchase a woman who only wants you for what you can provide, you pay and if you are not actively participating in parentings and contributing to the day to day care of the children significantly, you pay child support, these things that seem in favor of women are just more results and biproducts from mens poor ability to think a few steps ahead...
Chris is absolutely right. Contemporary relationship dynamics in developed countries have significant demographic repercussions.
So poetic with your words
I would also add that separating the boys and girls during puberty in middle school would benefit both. Puberty is a painful process and tweens need different types of mentoring to help them through it. It is a perfect time to explain differences, teach etiquette and manners without the pressure of dealing with the opposite sex. Then bring the boys and girls together in senior high after most of the hormonal process has been normalized. This has been the way society dealt with puberty before the modern era and I think it will help deal with this problem now.
Good idea!
No. Puberty is a time that person have most high probability of romance experience too. Just encourage relationships between boys and girls.
It is the same as the Salem Witch Trials. It shows how humans can be easily led into group mentality.
Well to me it’s simple you like someone just say!! It’s yeah or no!! And we need to bring back virtues as being more important!!! Eg honesty, kindness, spiritual etc!! I love flirting! It’s fun lifts you up!! We lost the art and value of connection!! We have lost the value and importance of motherhood!! All these things need rebalancing 🙏
Bingo
Excellent positions presented.
It's exhausting carrying shields. Everyone just sit down and sip some tea please.
1. Notice the handy wheels on this model: blog.modernmechanix.com/mags/MechanixIllustrated/9-1956/armor.jpg 2. Tea happens to jack me up so i cannot sleep all night. Do you have less, uh, stimulating options?
Looking at men pulling out of the workforce should be a study in wealth inequality. Many men see that the game is rigged against them and are choosing not to play the game at all.
If they can stop working and not die of starvation the game is rigged for them, not against them. Because some sucker is working and producing the food they eat, the clothes they wear, the shelter they live in. And that sucker is not being properly paid.
thank you, i love this conversation.
Excellent guest. Wonder why we have shows like The Handmaid's Tale, lol kind of.
I don't think men should outperform girls in order for them to have a chance at dating, I think the solution is for women to see the reality they live in and date within a range of not too low not too high potential partners, and not confine themselves to just men better than them
Depressing.....
Especially considering that the lower performing male is still eligible for low performing women. High achieving women will eventually be forced to recognize that they are the providers now, and that their modern role is more like that of the traditional man. Dating "across and up" is for those who need providers. Dating "across and down" is for those who ARE providers.
the solution is that women stop being insane asshole hypocrits!
I have absolutely no sympathy for women that wanted to have a family but did not. It was a CHOICE they made. The only obstacle was themselves. Families require selflessness and commitment by both parents. But we tell young people to be selfish and avoid commitment because you might not be happy. No sympathy whatsover.........
"Families require selflessness and commitment by both parents." Wrong. It requires selfishness and sacrifice on the women part and financial stability on the man part. Men and women are not held on the same standard parenting-wise. Women are held much higher and therefore are blamed for everything that goes wrong with family structure, not men. With more power comes more responsibility. Proof? see how people react when they see a single mother vs a single father. Now who gets praised more for staying around for the child? I'll let you answer that one on your own. "I have absolutely no sympathy for women that wanted to have a family but did not. It was a CHOICE they made." I 100% agree I also have no sympathy for mothers who regretted having children cause their dvmb@sses thought their husbands will help them out but they didn't. It's all their choice too.
long lens from out the window is cool- pitty about the wind shaking it around
men swiping on profiles is a waste of time and the chances are most profiles will be bots
We need to stop managing the process, that is why we are in the mess we are now. Let the process work out naturally.
The way it works out naturally is societal collapse. I'm fine with this, just pointing it out in case anyone missed it.