Announcing my new Torture MMORPG.

2023 ж. 31 Нау.
392 724 Рет қаралды

An absolute god-damn waste of my time. Never again.
Patreon: / valefisk
Twitter: / valefisk
Twitch: www.twitch.com/valefisk
Company of Heroes
Total War: Warhammer II
Crusader Kings III
Crusader Kings II
Democracy 4
Hearts of Iron IV
Hoi4
#pain#gaming#valefisk

Пікірлер
  • im never working on this game again. see you for crypt 2

    @Valefisk@Valefisk Жыл бұрын
    • BET!!

      @nathaniellazo5912@nathaniellazo5912 Жыл бұрын
    • i love hot dane men

      @BeeKeeper-@BeeKeeper- Жыл бұрын
    • crypt 2: featuring a new Greg model with slightly more polygons

      @thesalsaguy4395@thesalsaguy4395 Жыл бұрын
    • It better be Multiplayer

      @markusreed5447@markusreed5447 Жыл бұрын
    • Crypt 2 is gonna be a battle Royale, right?

      @robyngwendolynshiloh5277@robyngwendolynshiloh5277 Жыл бұрын
  • finally i can live out my fantasy of being a cylinder in a maze surrounded by many, many other cylinders, all while having a seizure

    @StarWarsGirl2011@StarWarsGirl2011 Жыл бұрын
    • where replies this is gold

      @quailish2@quailish2 Жыл бұрын
    • ​@@quailish2 bye.

      @dascreeb5205@dascreeb5205 Жыл бұрын
    • third reply

      @exthalassa@exthalassa Жыл бұрын
    • Fourth reply

      @snowfallsymphonium9450@snowfallsymphonium9450 Жыл бұрын
    • @@dascreeb5205 NO

      @quailish2@quailish2 Жыл бұрын
  • "no more crypt" -vale 2023, lying as natural as he breathed

    @Imperial_Slave@Imperial_Slave Жыл бұрын
    • April fools lol

      @serjent3986@serjent3986 Жыл бұрын
    • And this is why he is Scarlet's mentor.

      @thetruegoldenknight@thetruegoldenknight Жыл бұрын
    • He doesnt though..you think that thing breathes?? HAH!

      @Madoka_The_Witch@Madoka_The_Witch10 ай бұрын
  • Sometimes you truly have to ask is Vale torturing us or are we torturing Vale. The answer is both.

    @amberc5841@amberc5841 Жыл бұрын
    • Sadomasochism

      @Cr4z3d@Cr4z3d Жыл бұрын
    • Its an abusive relationship where both sides are the abuser.

      @motokuchoma@motokuchoma Жыл бұрын
    • Tactics Ogre Let Us Torture Each Other

      @xaf15001@xaf15001 Жыл бұрын
    • It's a symbiotic relationship, we get the joy of him being tortured, he gets the joy of torturing us.

      @asterion5145@asterion5145 Жыл бұрын
    • A true lose lose situation

      @Dithernoise@Dithernoise Жыл бұрын
  • Only indie game devs know the pain that is implementing multiplayer from nothing.

    @Soulless261@Soulless261 Жыл бұрын
    • Nah. Fallout 76 devs figured out

      @hossdelgado626@hossdelgado626 Жыл бұрын
    • @@hossdelgado626 Only took the game being out for a few years, but sure.

      @MrYoyo200@MrYoyo200 Жыл бұрын
    • Dani was an appropriate example

      @lestevegmbh2637@lestevegmbh2637 Жыл бұрын
    • especially when you have to add multiplayer to an already existing "completed" game

      @dehtyarUA@dehtyarUA Жыл бұрын
    • yep

      @Eros_Hai@Eros_Hai Жыл бұрын
  • Things that happened as soon as I became patreon: -This -Vale enters the chat completely drunk and starts saying inconvenient things -constant cry about CNA and how bad of an idea it is to play it -I "met" a cool polish guy and I started bullying him because he's polish And it's only been a week and an half, gosh I love this community

    @sfrinzi429@sfrinzi429 Жыл бұрын
    • dont forget barotrauma

      @ivgorm9365@ivgorm9365 Жыл бұрын
    • @@ivgorm9365 I LOVE BAROTRAUMA

      @Candybust@Candybust Жыл бұрын
    • "Inconvenient things"...?

      @cameronscott9399@cameronscott9399 Жыл бұрын
    • "starts saying inconvenient things" I hope that's intentional cuz that's so much funnier than inappropriate lmao

      @dseszu425@dseszu425 Жыл бұрын
    • polska gurom

      @klank9409@klank9409 Жыл бұрын
  • You know what we need? A Crypt Zombies mode, where it's the one hundred players, and one person as Greg... and as the greg eats people, they become more gregs, allowing for the greg-ageddon

    @omeganexuskensai6848@omeganexuskensai6848 Жыл бұрын
    • I was already eaten. Every new Greg gets an extra g at the end of their name.

      @GreggoryL@GreggoryL Жыл бұрын
    • and the Gregs can't see the players' lights, only hear their steps

      @T3kRazor@T3kRazor Жыл бұрын
    • I would prefer to call it Gregnarok lmao

      @saltboi5411@saltboi5411 Жыл бұрын
    • Yes

      @spritemon98@spritemon98 Жыл бұрын
    • @@T3kRazor Proximity voice chat

      @magiv4205@magiv4205 Жыл бұрын
  • Everyone: haha MMO crypt, great April fool's joke vale Vale: . . . Everyone: it's a joke right? Vale: . . . Everyone: it's a joke right, Vale?

    @waluigitime5960@waluigitime5960 Жыл бұрын
    • I was literally begging for this NOT to be a joke as soon as I saw the notification!

      @EndlessEvelyn@EndlessEvelyn Жыл бұрын
  • Vale, last night in a drunken state while falling asleep, i came up with the most torturous game ever. I chuckled, thinking of your friends losing their shit, and then promptly passed out. The idea: a powerwasher simulator map of the maze from Crypt. Every wall, floor, and ceiling completely dirty with the hardest dirt to get off. The players only have the beginning power washer and no access to any cleaning fluid.

    @deoyx@deoyx Жыл бұрын
    • Janitors of the Crypt

      @cj-3810@cj-3810 Жыл бұрын
    • We could get him to make a horrid Vicera Cleanup map

      @roblaaa1845@roblaaa1845 Жыл бұрын
    • Oh hi Satan.

      @sourhour3403@sourhour3403 Жыл бұрын
    • You’ve seen Crypt converted into an FPS map, right? Would it even be possible to clean the ceiling?

      @sideways5153@sideways5153 Жыл бұрын
    • @@sideways5153 you have a ladder.

      @CallMeDoc_@CallMeDoc_ Жыл бұрын
  • >This is the third time I’ve opened this code base to make changes I’m done, after this I’m done Ah the lies programmers tell themselves

    @mirahana6366@mirahana6366 Жыл бұрын
  • Cylinder is my new favorite character. So much character in that guys volume.

    @Valmanic_@Valmanic_ Жыл бұрын
    • a truly three dimensional character

      @stardust-reverie@stardust-reverie Жыл бұрын
  • Spiff joining the call just to ask how insane Vale is

    @Michael-dj6pd@Michael-dj6pd Жыл бұрын
    • I mean, it's two different versions of chaos. One breaks games, and the other makes/mod games that break you

      @isaiahbolevs@isaiahbolevs11 ай бұрын
  • 5:17 Spiff asks this as if Vale has done something impossible, not comprehendible, as if he completed an ancient prophecy thought to be impossible, to slay the dragon atop the mountain, to reach the depths of the ocean, so yes Spiff Vale has done it, he has made multiplayer Crypt, a feat worthy of God.

    @St3lla-MaR1s@St3lla-MaR1s Жыл бұрын
  • The amount of effort that went into this April Fools joke is honestly astonishing. I'd honestly hire Vale as a Video Game developer, just because of his creativity and dedication.

    @the_fixer2593@the_fixer2593 Жыл бұрын
  • Wouldn't the solution to getting this multiplayer version of crypt out is to have it be a sperate download? Two copies of crypt one for solo and one for multiplayer?

    @TalleyBellum@TalleyBellum Жыл бұрын
    • Games: Crypt Crypt with -Victims- Friends

      @theapexsurvivor9538@theapexsurvivor9538 Жыл бұрын
    • a

      @dropfish3109@dropfish3109 Жыл бұрын
    • id imagine another reason this isnt public is because multiplayer has to be made pretty really well for it to not be a security hazard, like with what we saw with crab game a while ago, alot of youtubers IPs were leaked because of a flaw

      @magnateze@magnateze Жыл бұрын
  • The real april fools is that he thinks hes never going to touch it again

    @james14294@james14294 Жыл бұрын
  • Considering how much of a psychotic eldritch being Vale is, I’m genuinely surprised it put a disclaimer in the beginning.

    @Gage_The_Comrade_or_Something@Gage_The_Comrade_or_Something Жыл бұрын
    • How are you supposed to properly torture someone who's having an epileptic seizure? He needs to ensure all his victims are conscious to for the torture to be effective :)

      @abbycaldwell3166@abbycaldwell3166 Жыл бұрын
    • @@abbycaldwell3166 that’s actually genius

      @Gage_The_Comrade_or_Something@Gage_The_Comrade_or_Something Жыл бұрын
    • "It", wow!

      @TCM464@TCM464 Жыл бұрын
  • “How functional?“ Immediately starts stuttering

    @beanofknowledge2125@beanofknowledge2125 Жыл бұрын
  • This video perfectly describes how it feels to make a game that works perfectly in singleplayer but completely breaks the moment you have multiple players

    @wigglyjimbo@wigglyjimbo Жыл бұрын
  • Looking forwards to the VR version of Crypt.

    @SleepyJackUK@SleepyJackUK Жыл бұрын
    • that would be hilarious

      @spacecatsftw@spacecatsftw Жыл бұрын
  • The hilarity of Spiff randomly joined in just to ask "Did you fucking do it Vale?" 😂

    @Nick-rs5if@Nick-rs5if Жыл бұрын
  • I love how Vale actually made multiplayer for Crypt as a joke.

    @dogium3332@dogium3332 Жыл бұрын
  • I never realized that having dozens of torches in the same room actually made the room darker. Thanks for teaching me this fun, obscure scientific fact, Vale!

    @excaliburv4332@excaliburv4332 Жыл бұрын
  • Utterly terrifying 10/10

    @owlwaifu4949@owlwaifu4949 Жыл бұрын
  • The fact that this masterpiece is only 19 minutes long SHOULD be suable.

    @shineczek3803@shineczek3803 Жыл бұрын
  • Absolutely one of the horror gameplay experience. 10/10, remarkable.

    @dhanish3267@dhanish3267 Жыл бұрын
  • I was a game developer for 10 years, made many unity games and even worked at unity for a while. Hearing Vale rant about the multiplayer made me laugh.

    @davidsalisbury1688@davidsalisbury1688 Жыл бұрын
  • "It's such a waste of my life ... but it works" This is a mood! This is a MOOD!

    @Americanbadashh@Americanbadashh Жыл бұрын
    • That's how EVERY hobbyist game dev with metrics in the ZEROES feels about their passion projects. And I'm talking from experience.

      @thetruegoldenknight@thetruegoldenknight Жыл бұрын
  • It's funny how just yesterday I watched 4 people try and play Ubisoft's Uno for over 1.5 hours in vain. And your multiplayer already works way better. Looking forward to Crypt 2!

    @mute1085@mute1085 Жыл бұрын
    • Do you know what video that is? I would love to watch it

      @PixelRockett@PixelRockett10 ай бұрын
  • "Announcing my new Torture MMORPG" "Dear GOD" "There's more" *_"NOO"_*

    @-Raylight@-Raylight Жыл бұрын
  • Vale's steam engine of a computer must be burning a hole in the floor from jury rigging this game to work

    @richardnixonpog9925@richardnixonpog9925 Жыл бұрын
  • Finally, World of Valecraft!

    @sarkhan_guy@sarkhan_guy Жыл бұрын
  • can i just say that i love that your casually friends with spiff XD. what an unexpected crossover, i love it.

    @szrsplaythroughs@szrsplaythroughs Жыл бұрын
    • Paradox Quiz Show

      @allesarfint@allesarfint Жыл бұрын
  • The best April Fools joke of the entire video was that he was done with Crypt

    @Partyrockscool@Partyrockscool Жыл бұрын
  • We all know he’s not done with crypt. He’ll never be done. You’re never leaving vale

    @ethanwatt-dz3xq@ethanwatt-dz3xq Жыл бұрын
  • 5 months have passed and we still wait for Vale to finish the Campaign for North Africa video.

    @tsk9277@tsk92777 ай бұрын
  • I was there for the patreon test and it was incredible

    @HolyDeathFridge@HolyDeathFridge Жыл бұрын
  • I was so hyped to have multiplayer crypt I was itching to call my friend and make them download it and whatever after you finished giving the name I was searching far and wide but my dreams were dashed on the rocks

    @ungabungado2834@ungabungado2834 Жыл бұрын
  • Jor Jor Well was inspired to write literally 1984 when Vale stopped working on the game when he was on the cusp of having an amongus mode for Crypt.

    @spencerruston406@spencerruston406 Жыл бұрын
  • Brings a tear to my eye to see the merchant got killed by greg because you bought his gun which was his only means of protection

    @juandude9173@juandude9173 Жыл бұрын
  • I knew this was a joke vid as soon as he claimed he's been alive for more than 20 years in the intro. We all know Vale has to have his dad sign into a steam account to get past the 13+ clause

    @ThunderChanter@ThunderChanter Жыл бұрын
  • This feels like a classic Gmod sandbox experience with like 30 people in a horror map, but someone spawned a random SNPC and everyone is carrying around dynamic light sources

    @BierBart12@BierBart1210 ай бұрын
  • I love how i came from watching the spiffing brit to watching this.. and then he joins and asks if vale really did it xD

    @grynte1@grynte1 Жыл бұрын
  • 18:16 - Hey look, it's me! This patron test was super fun.

    @UnderseaRexieVT@UnderseaRexieVT Жыл бұрын
  • Good thing that you mentioned epilepsy on the start of the video Vale, i just remembered that I didn't take my meds

    @mauriciopimentel6451@mauriciopimentel6451 Жыл бұрын
  • I've never walked away from a youtube video with my eyes legitimately sore before, well done.

    @expo4266@expo4266 Жыл бұрын
  • What a beautiful game. I can't wait for the sequel which will have classes and new quests added!

    @MiniMidas375@MiniMidas375 Жыл бұрын
  • I unironically believed this until the price

    @treedude4246@treedude4246 Жыл бұрын
  • Vale is the one who can make the science-based, 100% dragon MMO a reality

    @Finetales@Finetales Жыл бұрын
  • I cant believe its been 20 years since The Crypt came out

    @grit1@grit1 Жыл бұрын
  • 7:10 George Washington was famous for chopping down a cherry tree to get at the succulent cherry tree wood-meat inside. Best April 1'st video hands down.

    @bobbobinson6209@bobbobinson6209 Жыл бұрын
  • So pooman is Valefisk's official alter ego is what I'm getting from this lol

    @redwitch95@redwitch95 Жыл бұрын
  • Wait, this isn't right. I'm supposed to only see your videos after like 5 months at least, not within a day! 15/10 Cryptastic Boogaloo should've been the subtitle

    @rightleft7306@rightleft7306 Жыл бұрын
  • 2:21 he is “done” watch he open it up again like a year from now XD

    @HermitRunner@HermitRunner Жыл бұрын
  • I love the process of making stuff like that. Beginning by a plan and derailing down to the point you absolutely hate it.

    @Jerjoker007@Jerjoker007 Жыл бұрын
  • I love Gaslight Day, truly one of the holidays of all time

    @scrungobeepis5443@scrungobeepis5443 Жыл бұрын
  • oh my god vale is actually uploading a video within a few weeks of filming it

    @oswiniarty4586@oswiniarty4586 Жыл бұрын
  • I wonder if having $9.11 in his steam wallet was intentional or not

    @JesseWC1550@JesseWC1550 Жыл бұрын
  • This Victoria 3 game is looking good

    @NovelPond@NovelPond Жыл бұрын
  • “Imagine trying to botch a single player game engine into a multiplayer one. “ Bethesda: hold my beer

    @OfficialJanky@OfficialJanky Жыл бұрын
  • To quote out scandinavian lord, back from the TTD video: “FUCK OFF VALE”

    @ACompletelyRandomWoman@ACompletelyRandomWoman Жыл бұрын
  • spiff appearing out of nowhere shook me

    @Breadicism@Breadicism Жыл бұрын
  • ok, but what if...you posted Crypt MMO as its own steam entry? :D Alternatively, the source code would make a funni Patreon offering so people can fix bugs and torture their """friends"""

    @numilani8267@numilani8267 Жыл бұрын
    • It could be posted as a separate entry, or it could be posted as a beta which would allow people to switch between the versions. Either way, humanity deserves for this to be released.

      @whitehawk4099@whitehawk4099 Жыл бұрын
  • goddamnit vale as soon as I saw this I was already thinking of having tournaments

    @DrakeLightheart@DrakeLightheart Жыл бұрын
  • Back in the olden days of the wood-eaters, they never would have believed people would create such a thing.

    @dumplechan@dumplechan Жыл бұрын
  • the fact that this man is just casually friends with the spiffing brit blows my mind

    @HobbitK1ller@HobbitK1ller Жыл бұрын
  • Man, the late 80s multiplayer test pre-alpha for DEEP ROCK GALACTIC is a lot different than I thought it would be....

    @jasonpratt5126@jasonpratt5126 Жыл бұрын
  • mention of starforge brought forth bad memories

    @P0P218@P0P218 Жыл бұрын
  • This is a great video and game thanks for the great April 1st video!

    @mixednarwhal@mixednarwhal Жыл бұрын
  • "I've been awake for days!" Sounds like torture, or you're practicing to become a Navy SEAL or something. Wow. I could never even fathom attempting that. My personal best was staying awake for 24 hours during Star Wars Uprising before that mobile title became a dead game. Well, kudos to Crypt 1.5 and beyond.

    @thetruegoldenknight@thetruegoldenknight Жыл бұрын
  • Wow that lighting definitely works sometimes

    @beawolfe@beawolfe Жыл бұрын
  • Vale showing the Starforge logo awoke a sleeper agent inside my brain

    @ValentineC137@ValentineC137 Жыл бұрын
  • I'm going to be sending this to all my friends for game night!

    @Leetfin@Leetfin Жыл бұрын
  • This is waaaaaaaaaaay too much work for an April fools joke, now go get some sleep vale! You've earned it!

    @BeansInCrocs007@BeansInCrocs007 Жыл бұрын
  • Spiff jumping on was a jumpscare

    @MakoWoman@MakoWoman Жыл бұрын
  • what if, the April first joke is that the entire video is actrually cgi with everyone voice acting the lines out and the mmo was never made.

    @ziiziiilyxc3158@ziiziiilyxc3158 Жыл бұрын
  • I reminds me of both journey and the really cool april fools update a short hike had that added 99 player multi-player Can we atleast get the crypt sourcecode if you are done, I'm sure someone will fix it

    @shinyrayquaza9@shinyrayquaza9 Жыл бұрын
  • The light is lit brother!

    @Doug_Fany@Doug_Fany Жыл бұрын
  • Can we see a video on gloomwood? "It's not often that I'm so immediately into a game that I follow its development as closely as possible, but that's the effect Gloomwood(opens in new tab)'s demo had on me when it appeared on Steam in 2020. Good immersive sims only come around once every few years so I take what I can get, but that brief vertical slice convinced me that New Blood Interactive has something special here: a neo-Victorian stealth game with the vibes of Bloodborne and the backstabs, shadow hopping, and constant vulnerability of Thief. Now released in early access, I'm glad to say Gloomwood is shaping up to be great. New Blood has really nailed the basics-its opening levels are creepy, expansive spaces with multiple solutions and looming guards that are just the right amount of dumb. I love the lethality of my pointy cane sword, the click of the revolver as I check its ammo, and the satisfaction of stepping right past an unsuspecting goon in a pitch-black shadow." [Mabey Mod it to make it multiplayer???] Love the vids by the way would love to see this game if possible, also you should make a discord. Even though you said [[["What Dom says is true, I despise discord and will never, ever consider using it. It's another step towards the downfall of human civilization."]]] just MAKE ONE. .have a good day.

    @_Badum@_Badum Жыл бұрын
  • I look forward to the hit online horror game Crypt: The Greggoning

    @cochacopen@cochacopen9 ай бұрын
  • Soooo, uh. How much for a DLC that lets me play as Greg against other people? Maybe a DLC that allows 4 player Gregs against one unfortunate person

    @thesandsofflowingtime@thesandsofflowingtime Жыл бұрын
  • Can't wait for the blind tournament gameplay on Counter Strike 2

    @lenseeing829@lenseeing829 Жыл бұрын
  • my laptop blue screened during this video and I genuinely thought it was a second april fool's prank

    @claytonwood8839@claytonwood8839 Жыл бұрын
  • That sounds pretty epic indeed.

    @DCGMatthew1@DCGMatthew1 Жыл бұрын
  • Crypt can only expand!!

    @nathaniellazo5912@nathaniellazo5912 Жыл бұрын
  • I must say I wasn't expecting Spiff to appear

    @malazanmarine2959@malazanmarine2959 Жыл бұрын
  • Magic the Noah was also a developer on this! Nice!

    @jayfether167@jayfether167 Жыл бұрын
  • Gotta love the permanent 200 steam notifications he has

    @cyber_xiii3786@cyber_xiii3786 Жыл бұрын
  • I really want this, I would pay for this experience. Please I need this

    @dakotamurray3552@dakotamurray3552 Жыл бұрын
  • Vale and Crypt be like: "Fuck you and i'll see you tomorrow"

    @tyreesehyangho1727@tyreesehyangho1727 Жыл бұрын
  • Jokes on you, your trickery doesnt count because it’s currently April 2nd here in Australia. You totally got me though… Oh god it wasnt a joke…

    @ImNotFine44@ImNotFine44 Жыл бұрын
  • Vale I've been watching you for years now and I'm wandering where the Gregor Samsa thing came from?

    @whirsch@whirsch Жыл бұрын
  • We need this released

    @72702@72702 Жыл бұрын
  • My headphones stopped working right as I clicked on this video so I genuinely thought the April Fools bit was a 19 minute video with no audio

    @Cyllene-@Cyllene- Жыл бұрын
  • Can't wait for the next crypt update!

    @110tacles@110tacles Жыл бұрын
  • I want that Greg JPG

    @laurivirtanen8636@laurivirtanen86365 ай бұрын
  • I seek more Crypt Mr Samsa. I must deliver Greg his Pizza Rolls.

    @comaiscool@comaiscool Жыл бұрын
  • would be cool if you made a board game to torture people again but used another game as a base, for ex making uno but literally every card is just pain or maybe a bizzare one like steampunk rally

    @NPC.error404@NPC.error404 Жыл бұрын
  • I love starforge because it's gun creation algorithm is actually gold

    @sonofstarth1358@sonofstarth1358 Жыл бұрын
  • That booting out of the game is hilarious. I found out that you can do the same in Portal 2 with sv_cheats 1. There is some kind of command "delete entity". Bind it to a button, and whenever you want just look at your partner and push it, his player model will be deleted and his client crashes, while you can still play as Atlas.

    @kongolandwalker@kongolandwalker Жыл бұрын
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