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Cursed Catan: steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
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Company of Heroes
Total War: Warhammer II
Crusader Kings III
Crusader Kings II
Democracy 4
Hearts of Iron IV
Hoi4
Chapters
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0:00 Introduction
2:25 Catan Tutorial
3:51 "Normal" Catan
36:10 The Great War Begins
37:25 The Great War for Catan
1:02:35 It's So Joever
---------------------------------------------
#pain#gaming#valefisk
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Ok but what's the sauce for the sheep pic?
Collab with Magic the Noah, two twisted minds might create one normal one.
valefisk the telegram bots have come after you
This was truly insane Catan
Play Communist monopoly.
This reminds me of a game of Catan in which my sister would not trade any sheep as she found them cute, essentially crashing the market
Based sister tbh
especially in the cursed version
@@olasham5113 different kinda cute
Oh my gosh
My sister did this too, the problem was that everyone else had sheep too so we made her pay exorbitant prices to buy more.
when are we getting a connect 4* video *4 hundred
This is unironically something I wanna see
That would quickly become a bastardized and lobotimized minesweeper.
I hope it includes a great war scenario
And when are you going to play the perfectly balanced Alpha Centauri?
NO *_NONONONO_*
I’m glad to see that a sheep empire always forms no matter how much the game changes
Now I'm wondering if there's a cursed version of Squatter.
@@zarnox3071cursed yahtzee
Bro the first time I played a made a brick empire cuz I just kept a stealing it 😭
"We won the great war! Back to normal Catan" what an odd sentence
I mean that's kinda what they tried to do IRL, is like "our massive game of empires and squabbling for resources has resulted in an ungodly level of bloodletting and global devastation. Now that that's out of the way it's time to go back to business as usual and assume history has ended, and nothing bad will ever happen again!"
average european
@@knightofficerand then something bad happened
What a totally normal and fun Game of Catan that was. :)
What a totally normal and fun Game of Catan that wasn't :)
For the love of god stop trusting vale
Hey, I found the word "gullible" at the 3:50 mark, Maivi!
I feel like you guys could still restart that game from the beginning though
important question what is the worst german state
Vale now has to use spies to bait his """"friends"""" into playing his torture games. Its fantastic that its getting to the point where everyone vale knows is going to need a counter spy agency to verify every action they make to avoid Vales schemes.
He might as well turn it into a torture social deduction "board game"
VBVH - "Valefisk Boardgame Volunteer Hunters" AVBBI - "Anti-Valefisk Boardgame Bureau of Intelligence"
Vale’s gotta invest in shell companies to attack the public now.
""""friends"""" I can only hear this as Palpatine saying it in The Force Unleashed.
Small Correction: In Vanilla Catan you need 10 VPs to win, not 13 :)
How dare you heart your own comment
balls
@@teaflavouredcoffee83 my balls
if you have 7 cards, you shouldn't remove the half actually (13:34 for example) @Valefisk
Why did you decide to play on a small map?
really good game, thoroughly enjoyed getting wood for sheep
WELSH
Yeah what gives?!
@@spacesquid4298 cymru am byth
@@spacesquid4298💀💀💀
Image links?
A quick note at 25:24 For anyone not familiar with _The Campaign for North Africa,_ it can take up to 1,500 hours to complete a *_single campaign._* It is a stupidly long game
To be honest. Imagine if Valefisk somehow managed to turn the Campaign for North Africa into Cursed Campaign for North Africa, in which it takes up to 3000 hours to complete a single campaign ;p
Don't forget that it literally simulates pasta. Yes, the Italians get a malus for having pasta in their rations and if you don't have enough water, they can't cook their pasta.
@@Cordman1221Accurate
@@Cordman1221 And the funny part is in TCNA you can have the really thing that happened of italian troups loosing to much water due to evaporation so they couldn't cook the meals. what a cursed game that is
The fact that Vale apparently has a game going that shall one day be released is horrifying. I honestly can’t wait
I had to forcibly remind myself that this is actually Catan they’re playing and not some specially designed torture game on *incredibly* regular intervals
Well to be fair, it *is* catan modified into being some specially designed torture game, but yeah I ended up forgetting it was Catan too sometimes, since it turned into Axis & Allies 1914 for several minutes
@@theturnc0at it gets even better when you combine every expansion and turn it into a floor covering multi day/week journey of politics and war
"How are you supposed to go back to playing normal Catan!?" I'm glad they included PTSD
PTSD mechanic pog
it's a feature not a bug
The fact that if there is a draw you have to play campaign for north Africa is one of the funniest parts of this to me
Whenever we play Catan, we always name every single sheep we draw, and try to keep track of who has what sheep, so we'll constantly be like "wanna trade 2 rocks and bill for jose and a wheat?" "No I have Josephine, not Jose. But I don't wanna trade bill, how about mark?" "Ok what if I trade you Chad for Josephine AND Anderson?" And so on and so on. It gets incredibly difficult to remember who has what, but it's so fun because you get attached to each sheep.
sounds like a great way to immediately inflate the price of an individual sheep
@@chocobear4078 lmao business mindset
I already view Catan as a cursed game (having played it too many times with people who'll take forever on their turns), but getting to watch other people suffer in an even worse Catan... that sounds absolutely cathartic to me
I'm with you- Catan is my least favorite 'good' board game. So many better options out there.
Our Catan games pretty much always turn into single player games as everyone tries to win by not trading with others, since one does not trade with enemies....
catan-thartic
@@amoliski I'd rather play Monopoly or Risk than Catan.
@@BobertJoerisk is fair enough but monopoly? Really?
I gotta admit going from a slightly longer than normal catan game to halfway thruough turning into a complelty new game makes this the funniest of the board games they've played on this channel
I personaly would like to see ANOTHER session of this "game" with you now understanding the rules
Same I feel like vale and teddy got cheated out of building the nuke 😢
My first game of Catan began (and ended) with me rolling 7 four times in a row.
I'm sorry to hear that you had such a terrible first impression.
@@piotrbojkoffConsecutive robbers turns are bad.
@@piotrbojkoff friends.
Kinda weird, especially since a 7 is the average on 2 dice.
All hail the king of thieves
I actually really like the idea of Catan turning into Risk halfway through. I feel like this concept could work as a genuinely fun game with a bit of balancing
I’ve tried this game and it’s actually balanced, from what I can tell.
is there any meta to it? like should i rush infntry?@@Bludiamond_Titanium
@@Bludiamond_Titanium How'd you try it?
@@adisappointedfbiagent449 Tabletop simulator, of course.
@@adisappointedfbiagent449 same way as everyone else: tabletop simulator steam workshop
You don’t know how long I’ve waited for catan! My absolute favorite game of all time and now it’s been made insane I’m actually dying
RIP
You were anyway
Same
Hope they find a cure soon
@@donpollo3154a cure to what? dysentery
"It's getting harder these days to convince people to come play games with me" Okay but imagine NOT wanting to find out what utterly insane shit Valefisk has to share.
you're not the one who has to sit through these
I like how in every video they all want the suffering to end, but they also want to win, thus extending their suffering
Ah, the duality of man
I love how Maivi always sounds like she's on the verge of tears. You have some incredibly trusting friends, Valefisk 😁
yeah
It's easy when they're chained up in your basement
I'd like to point out that this time, Valefisk had Maivi invite the others specifically _because_ none of Vale's other friends trust him any more. Valefish has an incredibly trusting Maivi.
@timothymclean at this point, Maivi knows it's better to be in the devil's right hand, than be in his warpath. She thinks it'll spare her the horrors of Crypt II, but it will only delay the inevitable 😂
Little reminder that the creator of Catan, Klaus Teuber, has leaved this world on the 1st April this year. May he rest in peace and laugh watching this video from heavens.
[T]7
Damn I was hoping you were joking since he passed on april 1st, rip. Dude brought so many hours of joy to people.
Honestly, the idea behind Settler's Campaign for North Catan is actually really cool. It's a shame that this take on it is so cursed.
Just remove the meme art, special development cards, and longest turn card and it becomes a lot less cursed
Played it with some friends, and tbh it's pretty well designed
The fact that vale and teddy lost the great war because of no one knowing how devastation works is crazy
To be fair, they also shot themselves in the foot by throwing all of their resources at nukes. Maybe they would've been able to make that pay off if they had the resources to build nukes, but they didn't, because nobody understood how devastation works.
Catan with -Factories that burn coal -Pollution -The great war -Nuclear warfare ...sounds like you are playing Civ 6, my dude.
If the rules for this were refined, it would legitimately be a good Catan expansion
I go to school with the grandson of the guy who made Catan. Klaus Teuber is rolling in his grave, and I’m rolling with laughter because this video is fucking spectacular
Oh boy, time for more Vale board games. Ngl they've become my favorite aspect of this channel.
Just in case anyone was wondering, the artist for the sheep resource is sanfingulipunrapin
yall are down bad for the sheep card huh
@@Ethanol276 got wood for sheep
@@Ethanol276just Welsh people being welsh
Rather mediocre artist
Based commenter
I think a non-cursed version of this rule-set could be cool.
Can we keep the card art, though?
The Longest Turn card should stay, too.
@@TCM464 Well they said non-cursed. I figure they mean the extra ruleset and the like, i can see catan with great wars really fun.
@@TCM464 We need to fix the wood card art, it's cropped a bit too heavily.
"We have Catan back on the space rig" Catan on the space rig:
this comment made my day
Rock and stone!
_The Campaign of North Catan_
Valefisk sabotaging himself by being unable to read the rules is an absolute dub for his victims
Honestly this seems like a really fun concept, building up your base of power then warring for the rest of the board.
That description just reminds me of how Vale explained OpenTTD
Honestly, this looks like a bit more fun than normal Catan. Aside from the great brick shortage. Some things never change.
Imagine if it had „undevelopment“ cards that had negative effects on the other players like „Sabotage: next player in turn order loses one victory point“ or „Earthquake: previous player in turn order has to downgrade one city“
"American Intervention: any player south of the one who pulled this card loses 3 victory points"
@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic563 and is "liberated" if it has oil
Was not expecting Exodia as a victory condition.
I started coughing from laughter at Exodia
This video will be my first time actually ever learning both how to play settlers or catan and seeing it actually played Idk how to feel about that
This is the cursed edition. No great war in the original version, no coal or factories.
same
>Notices the Abyss Bar ROCK AND STONE BROTHER!!!
Did I hear a rock and stone?
No you heard a stone and rock
ROCK AND STONE EVERYONE
I just wanna say that this is by far my favorite channel. I remember watching your company of hero videos 3 or 4 years ago and absolutely loving them. I haven’t really been watching your newer video’s but after watching this I’m excited for the future of the valefisk channel
@@Slothamnyou can just edit your comment to fix it
@@LugiatheOceanGuardian thank you for telling me that. Have a good day
definitely go back and check out other videos of board games or tortures, it's not really "future of the channel" it's kinda how the channel has been for a while now
Dang 211 likes. Thank you guys.
How did Vale manage to find such a big group of masochists for his videos? It's astounding
They're not masochists, they're just his friends. And stubborn.
watching vale lets me live my vicarious fantasy of having friends
i love gaming
ROCK, AAANNND. STOOOONNNNNE!!!!
ROCK AND STONE BROTHER
ROCK ON!
If you don't rock and stone, you ain't coming home!
Did I hear a rock and stone?
STONE AND ROCK... wait a minute
The funniest part is that there is a development card that just has everyone play a "short game of Campaign for North Africa"
"I hate you" "my parents say that all the time" truly the kindest most inspiring parents in history
ma boi
30:40 "Knight of the round circle" got funnier and funnier the more I thought about it. Not just because it's supposed to be roundtable, but also with how redundant it is, since circles are inherently round.
Unless it's a low polygon circle in a PS1 era game...
I was not expecting the war strategy mix-up, but I'm oddly interested
It’s a good century when valefisk uploads
It’s because that’s how long each game takes
Ahh,yes: "The campaign for North Africa", the og torture game. Vale will definitely bring it to the channel one day or another
As someone who has been toying with the idea of expanding SoC ever since I first played it as a kid but was to lazy to ever actually try, this video is already perfect and I'm only like 1 min in so far, omg
welcome to catan: where one resource is always moved around or hoarded, and there are never enough of the others. especially one of them, which is always a prerequisite for settlements. remember kids: the 4:1 bank deal exists. and it can be VERY powerful.
This looks actually super fun, catan and the great war aspect by the modification, first time I watched someone play catan and I'm intrigued. If there is a round 2 I would watch them play it.
I would pay good money for a legit war expansion to Catan, based on this. Memes aside, that was great way to add combat to the game!
Imagine if this was how we got the campaign for north africa video, as part of a tiebreaker.
"you're here to watch people yell at each other, not learn the game" he knows his viewers so well.
"I hate the sheep" -Apollyon from For Honor
I know I’d be convinced, but who else would lose their mind playing these torture games 😂. Valefisk is trustworthy
A smile crept across my face when I saw this in my recommended. I felt like the grinch about to commit some devious acts in whoville... Btw I still haven't played normal Catan cuz I don't have anyone to play board games with, but now I possess a strong desire to play Cursed Catan. You, Sir Valefisk, have outdone yourself.
Why is this like a genuinely good game, this should legit be licensed ether as a large expansion or renamed as its own separate game (obviously with the flavour text changed dramatically)
Vale just slowly increasing the size of everything instead of selecting it all and using numpad +. So much pain
I want to see a rematch. This was one hell of a rollercoaster.
You should always credit the artist so… does anyone know who made the sheep art? Asking for myself.
Soace
by sanfingulipunrapin :)
artist name is sanfingulipunrapin
@@swivelsaysnocan you link that specific art
@@masterjbt It's literally the pinned post on their Twitter.
Vale's evil is inspiring, but Maivi's personality really makes these videos fun.
it took me too long to realise what the "or" card was also despite all my... "research" i couldnt find the original sheep image
I love messed up board games
love your vids noah
You know its going to be a good video when the intro is 90% Maivi saying how much she hates everything. 💜
The torture games are fun but I'd love to see more videos like the Diplomacy video where y'all are invested and giving banter into a game where everyone is at least trying a little, the torture games are getting to a point where people are just kind of checking out
I agree.
As someone more familiar with the other Katan of the Chris variety, I'm nonetheless excited for this and the ensuing wacky hijinks!
"One of the Knight of the round circle." Well done.
5:15 I screamed in delight. I love that it’s in the abyss bar lmao
Cursed catan is an experience beyond your wildest imagination I played it after watching the video(with some edits to the rules that allowed for 3 way great war) It was so stupid, i had like 1 capitol + 3 cities on sheep, so i spammed arty(i had 2:1 sheep trades for ore) & maxed the research for inf & arty, basically occupied half the board and my opponents gave up
What I love about this particular "insane" version of a board game is that, besides the assortment of memes thrown into the development cards, it is entirely possible for this to play out like a (relatively) normal game of Catan with a few extra resource types, and never have to deal with... y'know. You only face the "consequences" if you try to abuse the new mechanics.
I like seeing Vale encounter torture experiences from other people
now i need to know what the sheep in the cursed catan was originally
Valefisk is my favorite board game channel. He presents must-plays for all families and friend groups!
Pro strat tip: Replace the robber piece with Maxwell. It will enhance your Catan experience.
For all that Maivi complains about hating every game, she always seems to be down for playing them. At this point, it's just masochism.
It's ironic lol, Maivi is slowly becoming Vale's right hand man? women? Whatever the term is
Always happy to see an upload from you, keep it up
"A normal game of Catan" "I forgot the part where there's nukes" If they make this as a real Catan game, I would buy it instantly
"I have wood for sheep" average welshman be like
35:49 GREAT WAR. AND I CANNOT TAKE MORE. GREAT WAR. I KEEP ON MARCHING ON.
Damn, I was JUST thinking "i wonder if ive missed another Valefisk torture video" And here it is!
21:50 Of all the things you added, I genuinely didn't expect Astolfo
Vale didnt make this, thats why he made many blunders throughout the Video.
I rewatch one of your videos last night and you upload a new one, godspeed my mans
The most cursed thing about this version is that it’s not a perfect Hexagon anymore.
i'd been craving torture game content lately since i've been rewatching videos from both you and magic the noah, thank god for this gift
The Campaign for North Africa was mentioned twice... Now I want to see it happen.
"We took over everything! Now I have nothing again..." yep pretty much sums up war 😂
Opening a valefisk video and immediately hearing "i hate you" sets a very fitting tone.
2 people rolled 7's right after Maivi traded for a wheat and a brick, which everybody wanted, but no one tried to steal them from her?!?! Did she spend them already? Did I miss something?
I love how this is my first actual exposure to Catan and it just turns into Civilization
i love how after the 37 minute mark, it just turned into HOI 4
That was pretty fun to watch. Another go at this with correct rules would be fun to watch again too
*Valefisk and Teddy in a bunker* Vale: So here's the deal Teddy, I found this gun someone forgot in a box, I need you to go out there and start shooting, hold them back Teddy: Sure thing boss! Vale: go fast! I will join you briefly, I will just set the auto sequence launcher and then I will join you! Teddy: *goes out the bunker, gets shot* Vale: *Starts launch sequence* Vale: I'm coming Teddy! *goes out the bunker, tries to grab Teddy's gun in the ground, gets shot too* Maivi and Chamber: *quickly enter the bunker and stop launch sequence* Maivi and Chamver: boy that could've been disastrous! Thank god we were fast! :)
bro doing valefisk fanfic
Combat phase be like: *random Catan soldier holding a sheep token trying to remember what he's fighting for*
The fact that the nuke strat would have legitimately worked if you did devestation correctly
I was thinking at work today "I hope a new valefisk video comes out today" and here we are, enacting man made horrors well within my comprehension, and deeply scarring to Vale's friends.
You know its a good day when Valefisk updates :)
This video was amazing. A sequel would go so hard
Love the variations here. Fun way to change it up :)