20 Signs You're Emotionally Mature
However old we might be, none of us is ever quite emotionally mature - but having a list to hand of what maturity consists of might be a way of keeping score and nudging ourselves in the right direction. Here is a comprehensive list of what maturity might comprise.
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“1. You realise that most of the bad behaviour of other people really comes down to fear and anxiety - rather than, as it is generally easier to presume, nastiness or idiocy. You loosen your hold on self-righteousness and stop thinking of the world as populated by either monsters or fools. It makes things less black and white at first, but in time, a great deal more interesting.
2. You learn that what is in your head can’t automatically be understood by other people. You realise that, unfortunately, you will have to articulate your intentions and feelings with the use of words - and can’t fairly blame others for not getting what you mean until you’ve spoken calmly and clearly.”
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it depends on the circumstance, all, or none, or something in between, depending on my mood and state of mind, I also get frustrated by the mob mentality
That cartoon charavyer looks like Hitler. You admire him?
I still need some work. 🤣
Beautiful!
I'm not sure how many, but I can say that I have approximately 10 or 12 signs
"You are not better than anyone else and you can be wrong sometimes" *The entire internet has left the chat*
😂😂😂
Nice
*reddit
I have to say, I am wrong at times but I do full heartedly believe that I am better then some people. Be it academically or as a person, of course I’m better then a rapist or pedophile
If you admit your wrong the other person is going to gloat and be toxic about how theyre right 56% of the time because internet
I'm mature enough to realize I'll never be 100% emotionally mature
Nice
It’s a good thing. It means life has ruined you yet.
Nobody is
Imperfection is a beautiful thing
just wanted to say that ^^
I know I'm not when I saw Hitler at first glance.
Haha
the character design is also a maturity challenge
shit english
Yeah same
my arm's raising on it's own
Were failing art school with this one 🗣🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️
Ong🙏🙏🙏🙏
I wont even watch the video, I just had to see if someone noticed it too
SAMEE@@impact3457
@@impact3457 same lol i think its the hairstyle that does it for me.. I would definitely fail art school with that rofl
@@impact3457mee to
And most importantly your inner voice has a British accent. At that point you have fully matured. Well done chap.
British isn't an accent.
@@GeorgiaGeorgette Once you've fully matured you will realize that it is.
1stinkywizzleteets but what if that’s your outer voice too lol
@@ayhamshaheed7740 I'm Merican. However I've been watching Monty Python since my youth. So my inner voice is definitely British.
:))
am I the only one who thought that the main character looks like Hitler?
It's the hair
Vox want to know your location.
Nope i thought that too
No I thought that too!
Roots thank u, before I even look in the comments
"wow I'm so mature!" *Seconds earlier: Hahaha that drawing looks like hitler
I remember seeing this guy in my art school....
Bruh💀💀💀💀
Dane here; I took a nap and when I woke up I was in the same country as him.
Fr bro and then somehow a random guy kill him, what a tragedy!
maturity : understand that this video is also made by people who could be wrong
But are they? This is better and more insightful advice than 99% of the information presented to us from other organisations and groups
@@pushthetempo2 that does not mean it should not be taken with a grain of salt best advice (for me at least) regarding most aspects of life is "EVERYTHING IS RELATIVE" - we all know who said that :D
Therein lies a beautiful wisdom
But hoooooow?
all of the time, some of the time, or this time?
People just watch these to feel good about themselves, including me
Y'know life doesn't offer much validation, we need something
You'll feel even better about yourself once you drop the superfluous use of "literally."
ouch... okay but I realised I have a long way to go to maturity too so-
More like you realize that you’re good enough and that what worries you is not everything
I did feel better about myself after watching this, all my life I was told I had low eq and I struggled with self-hatred, depression and a lot of issues, but now I’m 30, looking back at my past, I can’t believe I can think to myself, damn I’m emotionally mature now.
20 signs for the busy schedule. 1) People are nervous and anxious or messy, don’t be black and white about how you feel on it 2) articulate intentions and feelings, no one reads minds 3) admit you’re wrong, apologize 4) confidence, everyone sucks but we try anyway lol 5) forgive parents for being humans 6) small things on mood- take care of yourself physically or don’t approach situations drunk or exhausted 7) don’t sulk, tell them and if not it’s cool move on 8) perfection isn’t real, you’re gonna hurt yourself getting there or thinking it’s out there 9) virtue of pessimism, calm and patience from it/lower expectations 10) people can be great in some ways and crap in others, no one’s perfect 11) fall in love less easily, everything looks perfect far away but chances are they’re annoying 12) you’re difficult too lol get over it 13) forgive yourself for your stuff, be your own friend because who else will 14) peace with your inner child 15) no grand plans for happiness and celebrate little things, aka lower expectations part 2 16) stop caring on what people think on you, small friend groups rule 17) hearing feedback and not reacting negatively 18) don’t live too close to problems, get out and make perspective, nature and animals have it right anyway aka get off social media and go move like a human 19) your past colors your response, accept and work with it 20) share vulnerability to build better relationships, not just joy
Thanks! ❤
The comment I was looking for. Thank you so much. 😃😃😃
Thank you.
Thanks
leaving this coment so that i get reminded of this one day.
Parents had a choice, and chose to be bully's. They have had opportunities to apologise since, and have chosen to not. It's not usually the action, it's the reaction. When you say how they've hurt you down the years, and they don't care or say they can't live in the past. They are happy to talk about their own past, but not acknowledge the suffering they have caused. I acknowledge how I mess up my kids, it keeps me humbled. And I really do want to do better.
"Friendship is really about sharing vulnerability." Couldn't have said it any better!
Sharing pain?
5am nights yeah
This is the key issue with narcissists. That and personal accountibility and emotional maturity in general.
I disagree. I keep things for myself because that is how I deal with them, sometimes I let something out when my friends are feeling down so they feel more comfortable with me but that does not mean I do not love them :(
@@danyosuna7276 same, but if i was to write a book, or a show, i would pour my heart out (even if the story doesn't end up being too interesting)
"Of course you're an idiot, but you're still a loveable one, as we all are". that's really touched me.
*that, yuo idiot!
I wish that felt nicer to say to myself, yah know?
same tho :')
That makes me literally pouring some tears.
What do you do when you're an idiot, who is NOT lovable? What do you do when every single thing you say is heavily contested?
The animation reminded me of a famous Austrian painter
He was high hitter
I learned a lot of this in my early 20's just from life coming hard and fast, but life is forever a persuit of being better in ones self, to be better to those around you. So much of this I need to work on again as a refresher to myself, and some of it is new. This is a brilliant life guide - some top level bullet points!
*Maturity is not based on age.* *It's an attitude built by experience.*
More like an understanding of the world and people. Has nothing to do with experience
Fuck that shit dood
@@unmixedunmastered2810 That is experience, tho. You wouldn't have an understanding of the world and people if you don't go out there and experience it.
Yeah, and the older you become the more experiences you acquire
@@unmixedunmastered2810 wrong it has to do a LOT with experience
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life is that emotional maturity is not about being perfect, it’s about being aware of yourself, and forgiving to others.
You really do not have to forgive others (your abusers, aggressors or bullies) if you don't want to. The whole forgiveness business is very overrated. You can live your life fully and happy without ever forgiving people who have deliberately hurt you. You also do not have to wait for when the time is right for you and you finally "feel like" forgiving somebody. You can decide to never forgive and that is perfectly OK, too!!! It's your valid feeling and no emotional maturity guru or self-righteous therapist or book can force you to believe that you, at some point in your life, should come to forgiveness. And please do not start lecturing me on forgive vs. forget, or even condone. Bla bla bla!!!!
@@MichelleVisageOnlyFans obviously I wasn’t talking about the case of abuse. You’re allowed to not forgive someone who has deliberately hurt you. I was only talking about the fact that if you constantly hold resentment towards someone who isn’t even thinking about you, the only person you are harming is yourself. Theres a buddha quote that I love: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
@@MichelleVisageOnlyFans of course, this only refers to after justice has been served. If you are still being harmed by someone or they have not yet been held accountable for their actions, then by all means stay angry!
@@luv.my.pencil477 Really powerful quote from buddha. Makes me think.
very well put
the art looks like a very bad man who died in 1945
can I just say that the lessons learnt from these videos are major and significant, but only because there's a perfect narrator to it. The man voicing these videos are what make me come back for more. Big credit.
I clicked on this video hoping that i could identify myself with some of these signs. Instead, this video taught me how to give life a better approach
Victory Etienne perfect comment
Victory Etienne same man, same
me too
That sounds like an emotionally mature response.
same
"everyone is just as stupid scared as you" this is a good motto
Daisel Panesares I had 2 of my teachers talking about that yes they may be in their 30’s but they don’t know what they are doing in life still. Yes one has kids that are almost 10 and the other has a newborn but they are still learning life and still don’t know what to do. That taught me a lot.
I think that sentence is one hell of a confidence booster.
666th liker lol
Sonder
@@deborahtabaranza991 I like that flower in your hair 🤪😉
I just love how they explain everything to us so we can understand them , and they make it fun so we don't get bored or distracted ( which happens to me very often) plus they are having fun to which is amazing. So thank you! You're amazing guys!
Bro the thumbnail caught me off guard💀
21) you realize that it’s ok if you don’t check off all 20 of the listed characteristics in this video just yet, because we’re all a work in progress. And, sometimes, it’s good to recognize where you fall short so that you can work on becoming a more well-rounded person (without criticizing yourself, of course).
22) shut up
I thought i was so special when i was in my preteens because after my childhood dog died and all my friends moved away i had a very introspective phase where i learned a lot about myself So i felt very mature and that turned into a kind of internal arrogance I saw my parents as petty and my peers as naïve tho i also saw myself as too anxious and indecisive And as i was watching through this video i realized im still missing 2 or 3 of these ideas specifically the social ones because i missed out on some crucial social development years of my life
@@kylecheng3710 same
@@kylecheng3710 ur alright bro, thinking you are competent when u actually aren't until you realize how much room u have to go is part of the process to becoming actually competent, it's called the dunning-Kruger effect 😀
yeah, and even if you do check all them one day that doesn't mean you will the next. some days its really easy to take criticism and use it constructively other days it really stings. some days you cant help but see the world as black and white.
"Of course, you are an idiot, but you're still a lovable one."
i noticed that too. even added in comments. at least someone thinks like me ;)
I'm a Cool Avocado it made my smile ngl
"aah you goof!"
That’s kinda my life quote tbh, it’s a great life quote
I have all 20 signs but now people think I'm gay. What a life
I'm a student and I have to say I must thank my mom and dad, my hardships and my friends (good and bad or both in one) for helping me on this path to become more emotionally mature. A few things that I've learned is, everyone is complicated and have demons that come back to haunt them. Humbleness is different from submission and speaking your mind is not hurtful in correct circumstances. Being rational is okay but being too rational isn't. There has to be a balance between rationality and emotionality. Making comprises for someone is different from breaking your own rules to please someone you care about. Betrayal is hurtful and can drown you but it is one of the best lessons you'll ever get in strengthening your emotional maturity, train yourself not to give too much of yourself (lessens the pain) and teaches you how to spot similar personality traits to the person that hurt you. Letting go is okay
Thank you for this. I've had a few doubts about my growth and didn't realise how valuable this affirmation of certain aspects would be. Thank you again
1. You realize people are never good or bad, they are traumatized and complex. Complexity is interesting. 2. You learn to articulate your emotions to get your point across. 3. You acknowledge that you are not perfect and learn to apologize. 4. You learn to be confident without being narcissistic. 5. You forgive your parents for fucking you up so, because you keep remembering they have gone through the same. 6. You make important decisions and initiate important conversations only when you are completely rested from various indirect stressors. 7. You forgive people who hurt you, even if they don't understand after your explain why you were hurt. 8. You cease to believe in perfect life and perfect people. 9. You don't keep your hopes up too high in general and learn to be comfortable with it. 10. You understand that other people's weaknesses are always balanced by their strengths and learn to concentrate on them. 11. You don't fall in love for superficial qualities. 12. You understand that you are just as big pain in the ass to be around with, as the other people seem to be. 13. You learn to forgive yourself regardless of how you suck at everything. 14. You make peace with an immature version of yours that shows itself once in a while. 15. You seek satisfaction in tiny achievements rather than in monumental ones. 16. You stop caring what others think of you. 17. You appreciate healthy criticism. 18. You make time to examine your life. 19. You are able to identify inner traumas you received as a child and avoid acting on impulses instilled by those experiences. 20. You understand that true friendship is about exchanging a personal story, rather than best advice.
At a bar alone in a far away place. Thank you.
Thanks, to support you, I think 7 should include 'telling them straight how i feel as soon as possible, not expecting them to understand my feelings on their own.' I think this action makes us have the generosity to forgive others who hurt us.
thanks
Arigato sarangae oppa! 😂❤
Thank you.
"Of course you're an idiot, but you're still a lovable one" 😂 this one really spoke to me
@namealr hahaha good point!
Me too 😂 i'm repeating to myself this every day and it's working. I'm starting to love my dorkiness
That’s my Older brother! What a loveable idiot
That made me feel sad & happy both in the same sentence. I don't know how to express so I'm just smiling like an idiot. Oh nevermind.
what if you're an idiot but no one loves you? cus that's what i am
I’m 22 and it feels nice that I can relate to all of these points (but can’t execute them perfectly of course) Most friends I’ve had until now only wanted to mark things as good or bad and seemed almost afraid of discussing things without adding a clear conclusion of “it’s good” or “it’s bad”. They spent their whole lives in one culture and didn’t seem to be aware of how that shaped the way they thought either. I tried to think like them too, but spending time with a different culture/language really opened up to me why I was never comfortable with this It’s only this year that I realized they were just immature and insecure, and I know how to better pick my role models now. Though tbh I can tell that some of my friends are like me, and I’m going to spend more time with those people
We've Jaden Smith here
I was emotionally mature when I was a child, and then I grew up and became immature. No idea how that works
It doesn't work like that . Dont forgive everyone ... that is emotionally immature i guess
Always forgiving a person or a group of individuals that continue to hurt you may cause you of being manipulated or mistreated consistently. Learning to leave toxic people in your life is also a form of maturity.
Yeah as soon as that was mentioned I got anxiety.. but I think it’s because I’ve been in abusive relationships (family and romantic).. and the last (romantic one) was one of the most painful and disconcerting experiences of my life... I forgave wayyyy too much because I would always say “they’re human” and “people are different because of how they grow up”. This was the beginning of my destruction
@namealr dude YES
@namealr then found new people, theres internet for that
Forgiving doesnt mean you have to keep associating with them.
Danila Daria exactly. I think leaving toxic people and yet also forgiving them would be the most mature way to handle the situation presented.
21: Not keeping a personal scorecard as you go through the list.
In other words, you arrogantly believe you do not need to question whether or not you are doing it right.
The irony...
why not? why would I not want to know if I am emotionally mature or not? how would that not be an emotionally mature thing to do?
I think the video is designed to appeal to our narcissistic tendencies. Rather than speak about the emotionally mature person in the third person, it instead uses the second person on every point- “you think this,” “ you do that” as if it assumes you are the emotionally mature person in which case the video really becomes 20 pats on the back for being so great. The original commentor recognized this and refused to take the bait.
@@tchristian04 Aptly put. 👏👏
People love watching these videos and feel validated
Sign one is that id never let my phone tell me im doing okay. Im okay with being bound by facilitating human interaction in order to understand myself
1. There’s an underlying fear and anxiety to people who express bad behavior. You develop compassion for them and realize the world isn’t full of inherently bad people 2. You learn how to communicate your feelings and intentions for people to understand 3. You can admit your mistakes and take responsibility for them 4. You build confidence by realizing that everyone is just as scared, stupid and lost as you are. 5. You realize your parents inflicted pain on you because they are also suffering from their own issues. Anger towards them turns to pity and compassion 6. You know not to confront loved ones yet when you or they are undergoing stress 7. You don’t harbor resentment for those that hurt you. You tell them what hurt, and if they get it, you forgive them. If they don’t get it, you forgive them too in a different way. 8. You aren’t obsessed with making your life perfect 9. You have a calmer, more forgiving and more patient approach to life 10. You see that everyone’s certain weaknesses in character have counterbalancing strengths, and look at the bigger picture than one side of the scale. You know that nobody is perfect 11. You find it harder to fall in love with people because you learn everyone is hard to deal with personally. 12. You know You’re also a difficult person to live with. 13. You forgive yourself for past mistakes. You become your own friend and love yourself 14. You made peace with your childish self, and learned to give it attention by yourself when needed. 15. You appreciate the little pleasures very much. 16. You don’t care what people think of you 17. You are better at receiving feedback and can listen to criticism without feeling threatened 18. You know how to deal with your pains and issues with perspective. You may walk out in nature more, or get a pet, or look at the sky 19. You recognize your past has influenced the way you react to things now, but learned to compensate the distortions that result, by accepting that you tend to exaggerate in certain areas. You learn to hold back your impulses or “first feeling” 20. You see that friendship is more about sharing vulnerability, gaining insight into one another’s troubles and worries
Thanks a lot, I was journaling and I wanted to write down about how I wanted to become a more mature person and this nicely summed it up for me
Impressive
3 is missing *OCD triggers* Thanks for the work xD :3
thank you
thanks for that
"Ofcourse you're an idiot, but you're still a loveable one, as we all are" This reminded me of how much I've grown as person. From beating myself down for the simplest of things to finding that single ray of joy in the midst of a storm.
There’s a song by a band called Guster called “Terrified” and it’s honestly helped me a lot with empathy. It’s a bit of an anthem for me now.
"Man this day is terrible. Wait a minute today is chest day. I get to do my favourite exercises."
naw it's just YOU
This was a beautiful line indeed✨️
This reminds me that while I have many things to be satisfied with, I still have much to learn. I look forward to growing and becoming more mature as I age into adulthood.
Being emotionally mature at a young age for so long. Is going to break you down and tire you out. Wish I wasn’t.
Can’t say I’m emotionally mature, but I can thankfully say I’m learning, and this video helps with things I have yet to learn.
me too i think like a few of the points mentioned but i’m still working on a lot more
couldn’t have said it any better
Yea saaaame. Everything he says a point i think to myself daaang im the opposite 🙈. But yes we are learning. Admiting is the first step
I think that is all anyone should really hope for. To not give up on yourself and keep trying and learning from trial and error.
Hey, willing to change shows maturity too
21. Accepting that you'll always be a bit immature
point 14 and 13 pretty much
The whole 2 year old self thing lol
I think he already mentioned that in number 14, but nevertheless this is correct. Similar to how the ignorant man thinks he knows everything while the wise man knows that he knows nothing, the immature man is blind to his own immaturity while the mature man acknowledges his immaturity and is very much cognizant that he has the capacity to act out on his impulses like everyone else.
Thanks for the likes ! 🤗
AMULYA MISHRA: thanks for your comment :D
Being able to share vulnerabilities and talk about them like to a friend has really opened my eyes of the people I really want to stay in my life because we have grown enough to understand.
I just turned 18 today and I connected with a lot of these. But as I got towards the end there started to be things that I have been working on and finding myself in the midst of growing. I have changed a lot as a person in the last couple years and have done a lot of growing. I hope in a couple years from now I will feel the same way.
I like how you're nicely calling everyone idiots😂
@DaringTheDead an idiot is nowhere near the same as ignorance, an idiot means someone is basically unable to process the knowledge they have ignorance can change cause it's the lack of that knowledge
A. I. DaringTheDead was quoting Socrates. The quote means that after learning so much, they realize there is no one who can learn and know everything. That honesty with one’s self is what makes them wise.
@@michellesapisces8349 I already knew that so I was saying that a wise man knows he's ignorant and doesn't know everything but a wise man isn't an idiot because he knows how to use what knowledge he has.
@@a...i... You're looking too far into it, idiocy and ignorance are the same deal in the end, we're all dumb, ignorant and stupid, and that's O.K.
@sREUDIAN fLIP he kind of did imply it by just replying the quote to my comment
22: you’re 100% emotionally mature when you fully accept the fact that not everyone with this type of mustache is hitler
'this type'? This guy has no mustache.
I want MANGO ik but ppl are commenting on how he looks like hitler
I want MANGO it's because of how the nose is shaped and shaded, sometimes the guy looks like hitler.
That's a double negative though, so.... Everyone with this type of moustache IS Hitler? 🤔
First: it's not a mustache, it's his nose. Seocnd: hair does most of the work
I came into this thinking to check off a lot of these boxes but I haven’t. Very humbling in that way! Thank you.
Love how he also gives you advice of how to he more mature along the video
Next video: 20 Signs You Are Emotionally Dead
NIneDJcali 1 look in the mirror 2 do a fortnight dance done✅
I don't need signs I already know I'm dead
NIneDJcali Preach!
NIneDJcali hahaha
Yeah this is a list for people that are still young enough to feel emotional over catching a train, or feel emotion from basically anything.
Being emotionally mature makes me feel lonely sometimes tho because people my age worry about other things that are irrelevant to me
Same. It’s just kinda weird talking to my peers who care about childish gossip when I couldn’t care less. I just can’t connect with a lot of my colleagues.
Annie Taylor ... Yh I feel you it’s the same for me ... I mean I can be friendly with people but i don’t connect with them on a deeper level .. and I feel like sometimes it’s frustrating because they have good personalities but they are in a different stage in life mentally... but I have my few friends that I couldn’t be more happy with
Its exhausting and yet we still try.
yea it does, but i'm just lucky i have 3 friends who are in a similar boat, its already enough,
keirryn yeah me too .. I’m grateful for the people in my life ... at least I know that they are honest friendships you know ...
We should admit this videos are so well illustrated, i love it, really
I really relate with sign numbers 11 and 16 a lot. Due to a previous experience, I find it harder to fall in love not because I don't want to, but because I don't feel 'other half' character in them. They can be pretty, but it clearly stops at that itself, and I don't seek anything beyond friendship with them. I feel like I have been valuing the little things in my life for quite some time. The Pandemic really made me introspect and connect to myself, changing me a lot for the better haha. Thank you so much for the video!
I’m 16 and just starting to understand myself better. I went into this thinking I would have a lot of the qualities shown, but I didn’t. Almost all of them, I either didn’t know about or am just now beginning to understand. Very informative, and while I would call it humbling, I also can’t base my entire idea of how emotionally mature I am on a single random KZhead video.
There are people out there multiple times older than you are who will never reach emotional maturity. But it's not really their fault and it's not yours if you turn out that way either. I feel that a "perfect" world would be one where people can feel comfortable being vulnerable to anyone whether it be someone they've known their whole life or someone they just met even with the fact that it may be taken advantage of or tossed to the side without regard
Brother, I’m 22; and I have all of these skills but ONLY AFTER being consistently medicated for my chronic mental amd physical illnesses. Asthma and ADHD respectively. And spending 2+ years in weekly sessions of *intensive* therapy. Wherein, my therapist who’s been doing her job for 30+ years, has been teaching me these skills and working with me to unlearn all my bad and unhealthy habits, (addictions, proclivity to violence or aggression, etc.). Just understand, if you want to get there, you absolutely can; *only if* you’re willing to make the sacrifices and put daily work into building yourself into the person you can & should be, instead of settling for the person you are. Totally totally possible, it just takes years of work. You won’t be Mr. Olympia in one workout, neither will you gain peace or maturity in one year of work either. My maturity only recently happened after 2 years of therapy, and I’m at my 2.5 year mark now.
That's right! I'm 17 and me too thought that I would have reflected much of these qualities, but I recognize that I still have much to learn and the worst thing I could do now is getting offended for this reason! It's normal that we aren't mature enough yet
Well I'm 11 so.... I really have no idea how to explain the things that go on in my head or what i think about, I really don't, it just so happens to be in a mind of an 11 year old, lol don't really care tho, used to it.
@@Rubyy_Raerae This comment was 11 days ago, hah, fitting. Joking aside, I'd say that's pretty normal, you're still growing. You could say your brain is still "setting" the room for when you're bigger to wander in it, or better said, you're IN the room while it's getting constantly updated, slowly building up! So you might not understand everything that's happening at first cause it's unfinished and you only have the blueprints (people around you) as a little guide. And you simply live by. But once the room is finished, it all makes sense, including some of your past experiences inside the room even when it was still unfinished. And I think the room never really finishes changing or setting up, it always has a little decoration added by some event or experience, and some people sadly just refuse or never continue to make the room better, be either for stubborness or external problems. Everybody works differently. That's the best explanation I can come up with, I'm sorry if it's confusing, I have a habit of throwing metaphors or poem-like sentences, oops >
2:54 no, not pessimistic. You just understand that some things are out of your control, and as long as you do your part to love yourself and those around you that's enough. Whatever happens will happen, and you're ready to deal with it or be pleasantly surprised.
Realistic A optimist says everything will go just fine A pessimist says everything will go horribly A realist says it will ill happen and ill react
I dealt with a lot of self blame and it made me anxious and depressed. Once I realized I can't blame myself for everything that's happened it almost gave me a better sense of control over my life. Sure I might not of gotten that one job but I still have control over how I treat others and what I put in my body and that is something nobody can take away from me
I probably shouldn't, but whenever something that I would enjoy is announced, for example going to Universal studios this summer, I will always prefer to expect something to go wrong and stop it from happening. when i was very little my parents would make plans that I would be very excited about, but whenever it came close for the date, they would get cancelled. the disappointment started becoming too much to deal with, so I developed a way to lessen the effect of my expectations going wrong. Just expect the worst thing to happen adn you won't be let down again. I think it's a bad thing to do, but delevopmentally i've always done it and it would be hard to change at this point.
@@brittneycutrer3262 it's only hard if you think the change is super different but in reality if you just didn't expect anything to happen and react to how it goes down instead then you're whole outlook will be more positive. You don't have to expect the best and you don't have to expect the worst. Just expect that something good or bad will happen you get what I mean?
Not one person is good hearted enough that they will never hurt you.
May I add- I think very important matter is realizing our thoughts, feelings and behaviours as a result shape reality for ourselfes and others. Mature person will seek enough self awareness and life knowledge to constantly rise in being responsible for that. Great list, its impossible to name everything in 8 minutes video but I feel like your choosings are huge significance. Hope mine might be helpful to somebody too, love sharing constructive truths
ME: I am Emotionally mature.. After the vid: ...alright...I guess not 😂
Me too, according to the video 😂
Lol. First step in self-improvement is looking at one's self with a level head. It sounds like you're on the right track.
I guess this video has a bit of perfection about emotional maturity
Muslim.
Should have been one of the items on the list - that you accept that you are not 100% emotionally mature and nobody is 100% emotionally mature.
I feel like you are only emotionally mature or “smart” when you realize how much you are not emotionally mature or smart. Being a smart and emotionally mature could also come from accepting that you know nothing and the people who think that you think you know everything, are very much not emotionally mature.
Sounds like masturbation to me, the faux humility to hide the fact that you aren't on the path to even attempt something. Giving up before you start and implying that trying means you can't achieve it and that those who try are fools? Regurgitating dogma with pseudo philosophy serving no other purpose than making yourself feel good about your inadequacies, hoping beyond hope that everyone too is in the same boat. That is a sad outlook....
KlarkCent I have no idea how you got that out of what I said but good day to you sir.
Jon Snow, you know nothing.
So if i realize that and for once am happy with myself, am i not mature then?? Because it seem as if most mature people are never happy
But knowing nothing seems at risk to set one up to fail or become apathetic to the lot of it. What you describe is exactly how I felt about politics and being informed, so I just dumped the boat on both of them. I'm doing better in regards to quality of life, but I genuinely lament the ignorance in the process.
who else thought that it was Hitler
😂😂😂
I dunno if the thumbnail guy is mature but he’s certainly a passionate speaker
I recently got sick with stress, and learned number 18 the hard way. Long walks in nature should never be underestimated, it's fuel for the soul.
Agreed
ThisIsMyFullName Me too, it feels kind of nice knowing that i’m not alone :]
Totally agree, I'm currently struggling with insomnia and that little ritual in a day has helped a lot.
"Learn to forgive yourself" This made a huge difference in my life.
It is a huge thing!
'turning the page' is such a necessary and beautiful thing in life
@@PeerHond69 exactly and learning to accept failures is also another good quality I am currently working on.
Will no one mention the fact that the dude looks like an austrian painter?
Agree
I am glad to be on this path, and hope to grow more everyday. I'll always make mistakes but ill just keep pushing those days farther apart.
No. 20 gave me great peace. I was struggling with hyper positive friends who shared nothing but their successes. It is not what I need in a friendship.
@Zahra It's not about being fake. It's very real! I consider myself a positive person and of course I'm sad, lonely, etc. I cry and dream, but I tend to do it by myself or with close friends. I don't think anyone wants to cry with strangers. But I chose to be positive and not look at the bad side all the time cause there are reasons to be happy. What's wrong with trying to look at the good in the world? I'd say it'd be worse to be a debby downer which I was not long ago cause of a bad situation. I just escaped that and now I'm for the most part back to normal.
True hyperpostive is actually really unhealthy delusional and destructive
So is being depressed, angry, and downcast all the time. You can be positive and still realize that yes, that situation is bad but I'm going to make it through. It's not ignoring that there is a problem. It's choosing to see there is always good.
The issue I find is when people *only* talk about bad things it can become very hard to talk to them when you need someone to be excited with. My girlfriend always tells me that she feels like she can't tell her friends about a lot of the nice dates we go on because all they talk about is the bad times in their relationships so she doesn't want to tell them that everything is going great with us because she feels like she's showing off, when in reality she's just happy
As the Romans said: "In medio stat virtus" which roughly means "virtue is in the middle". Balance is the key of happiness, in every field, in my opinion
*“Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.”*
I remember watching this in 2019 and I tried my best to become mature and now I do 15/20 of these thanks TSOL you made me a great guy.
I actually ticked every item exept the last one. I was kinda shocked, cause I was doing opposite my whole life. That's really informative video thanks!
But mostly, Friendship is a sharing of strength.
Friendship should be sharing vulnerability and listen a lot. People dont listen anymore.
@@alejandramarquez6804 People dont talk anymore too. People talks about meaningless things idk. Its just impossible now to search help from the others in some way. People are laughing about your weaknesses and stuff, humans are just weird.
@@alexandreparent5754 Yes. We are living weird moments for human relationships. It is harder this days.
@@alexandreparent5754 For men it's strenght and women it's vulnerability.
Nobody is perfect, and no one can ever be. When you accept the people around you with their strengths and weaknesses, that's a sign you are a mature and good person.
When you accept what they are but don't lower your standards is maturity. Often times people think accepting should be allowing but it really isn't.
Go ask the average woman if Chris Hemsworth is perfect or not 😂
Simone M. it’s not ‘you accepting,’ as that implies that you receive their views, it’s ‘accepting’ that they have a right to those views, and you do not have a right to try to persuade them to change because their views do not mirror your own, and you can live with the discomfort. People who are not ‘mature’ spend their lives with an idealistic view of how the world should be, and are constantly fighting and / or unhappy as a consequence. What you do, is you ‘accept’ that you allow yourself to live with your discomfort of their idealism and beliefs. If you truly believe in yourself, then I agree, nothing will force you to lower your standards, that is the very message that Christ brought to the world, I.e. ‘the individual is sacred,’ whilst groupthink or identity politics is very evil.
@@TheBoBabsin- Who is Chris Hemsworth?
please can you explain? because i dont undrrstand, for me there are some people in my environnement that are perfect socially, in work and in health (for me all the areas of life) even though they may have some weeknesses somewhere else, they are still close to some kind of "perfection"
Thank you so much. This one is a real gem!
is it just me, or does this illustration of a boy looks like a caricature of Hitler or it is just me
This guy has the best voice ever
And a great hairstyle!
and the best pronunciation
alain de bottom he is named
Hello there Sad Puppy! Your name makes me want to give you a hug :- )You are absolutely right. He has such a beautiful voice. I keep saying that he should sing! In case you don't know, Alain de Botton is one of the greatest thinkers of our time. Besides he is the best " teacher of life" one can imagine:-) His entire work has a life changing quality. You can read his books, listen to his TED talks and other talks, and watch his documentaries too. He has another youtube channel where you can find those documentaries. Just search for the one called " Status Anxiety", to find the channel. If you want to start with one book, I would highly recommend " The Consolations of Philosophy". If you search for his name on Itunes you can find interviews with him on several podcasts too. My favourite one is the " On Being with Krista Tippett" podcast, where he talks about his book " The Course of Love". That's the most meaningful and profound conversation I have ever heard about love. He also has a speech on love in youtube. To find it just search for: " On Love, Alain de Botton, Sydney Opera House". Many greetings and best wishes:-)
And Alain De Botton has a great sense of humour! Adore him! 😉😘😜
Quick tip to become emotionally mature: Go to art college and have your self esteem ripped apart.
That sucks. But it will be over eventually. Remember, these idiots cannot determine your worth. You determine your value as a person by being fair, just-minded, intelligent, strong, brave. And no amount of misfortune can take that away from you.
Oh dear. I'm sorry to hear that. Can i just say that you should just ignore them? And just take (learn) whatever you can from the whole experience without changing the "real" you. Just know your self worth and know that they can be wrong tooo.
:D hahahaha ! Oh my god ! This is too familiar! I've been thru it as well . Unfortunately, i just got out with low self esteem and non of the emotional maturity ...
Oh i see what you mean. But it builds character and help you strengthen your own resolve but also what can be constructive criticized while recognizing your own art.
Me too! :( (I went to music college). Remember you are good at what you do and you wouldn't have gotten into that college without being good at your art. It's gonna take time to heal. Sending hugs. X
i will never ever forgive my parents a single thing. their demons kept on hunting me too and made me suffer a lot over my whole childhood and youth. the best way to "forgive and forget" is to keep the contact at the lowest mesurement possible to not get caught in it again.
i remember seeing this a couple years ago, getting frustrated as i had generally thought of myself as mature-ish but not being able to apply myself to all of these, and now i can and im so proud of that progress
If the idea of the video is to make people realize how immature they are, it's definitely working! 😂
And to see what they can improve
Indeed!
😂😂😆
Ikr
Unfortunately emotional maturity does not equate to emotional satisfaction. Maturity doesn't mean the pain of disappointment with the world can ever go away. That part of life has to be determined by decisive actions, and the results are influenced by the environment, meaning that satisfaction in life is greatly influenced by dumb luck from the circumstances. Not all obstacles can be overcome. Maturity often just means emotional compromise.
Right, the video is not targeting extreme cases.
Whoa..
What a tremendous insight !
Grow up
@GenesisGems I agree. But, Ive come to recognize that alot of what I feel is a superiority complex and anyone I talk to could be just like me.
Well, this teaches me a lot of things. Seems I'm quite an idiot. Or rather, my circumstances haven't let me develop properly. Need to see this video every day.
the guy on the thumbnail looks like that one painter
When I feel truly depressed and ashamed of myself, here I find self-compassion.
More strength to you!
Good to hear that mate!
The start of emotional maturity is your willingness to be aware of yourself. How you play a part and how it all starts with you.
*This*
Zeranika Hd Is it possible to be too self aware? You think? Cause I feel that I am good with self awareness ..,, but that’s why have I have some of the problems that I do. Like if I was less self aware would care a little less about the things that actually matter less. I would focus on things that actually matter. Does this make sense..? IDK just was thinking about this you know...l
TheCryingLenny Face It sounds like you might be confused between self awareness and self consciousness but I might be wrong.
I came to this video expecting the classic amount of easy to achieve goals so that almost every viewer feels good about him/herself. Instead, I see a list of ideas that I, more often than not, need to be reminded of. Great video!
Thanks for making this. Just lost my mom and was losing myself a little. This whole thing feels really good for me rn so I just wanted to pop a quick thank you.
Beautiful. This channel has helped me during my worst days and reinforcing during my better times 😇
It's a truth for most of us, I can't even think about going through last year without guidance from this channel, I'm coming to terms with myself, maybe it'll take time but I know there'll be The School of Life for a better perspective whenever I may feel lost
Patren33 Get a grip.
wow, the part about giving up fame and relying on love really affected me. for personal reasons, i’ve recently been extremely sad, hopeless and sometimes even suicidal. one of these days i was thinking about the people who would cry about me in my class if i killed myself (quite positive, i know). i guess not many people would. but i have around six friends i love and that i know love me back. and maybe i should start thinking about the influence my life can have on people rather than the influence my death will. this video was very eye opening🖤
Ana Palacios lovely reflection. :) thanks for sharing
Don't ever feel as if your time in this world has meant nothing, everyone's mere existence is relevant and is valued one way or another, even if you have six friends and some family. Also, if you're ever feeling suicidal or depressed, try consulting your friends and family about your condition before it's too late.
DOJO MOJO thank you, im in a whole better place right now 😊!
Ana Palacios I pray you open your heart to trust in Jesus as Savior. In Him you will find true love, acceptance, and meaning and guidance for life. He will never leave you or forsake you..Your death will not be final, but you will have an eternal home..
Six friends is a LOT. I have 4 and I consider myself lucky. You could learn how to love yourself. It is not easy but it is possible.
Well said this is gold!
y'all just gonna ignore the character on the thumbnail
"Friendship is sharing our vulnerability." That is such a dark quote when you think about it. Our deepest thoughts and actions revealing the naked truth.
You can never fully trust a friend, keep it in mind
I criticize with my creations.
i view it in a way as, stop trying to hide things about myself from other people.
@@dp503 sincerely never share vulnerability with friends, because tomorrow that will be that deadliest weapon against you when you breakup with them. I share my vulnerability with God in my secret place. The bible said the human heart is desperately WICKED. That quote is trash for me
@@sadraolaedo4733 1. you don't have to break up with friends. 2. If you do, it doesn't need to be a bad break up. 3. The human heart isn't wicked. I don't know if you watched the video, but that's a major point of it.
1 - You loosen your hold on self righteousness (you realize that most of the bad behaviour of other people actually comes down to fear and anxiety) 2 - You learn that you have to articulate your intentions and feelings with the use of words 3 - You learn that you do sometimes get things wrong and should apologize once in a while 4 - You learn how to be self confident (everyone else is just as stupid, scared and lost as you are) 5 - You forgive your parents (you realize that they were struggling with demons of their own) 6 - You learn the enormous influence of "small things" (rest, alcohol, hungry etc) to your and other people's mood 7 - You give up sulking (remember that we will all be dead soon) 8 - You cease to believe in perfection (instead you pivot towards an appreciation of "good enough") 9 - You learn the virtous of being a little more pessimistic (as result your emerge as a calmer, patient and more forgiving soul) 10 - You learn that everyone weakness of character actually counterbalance some of their strenghts (rather than isolating their weakness) 11 - You fall in love less easily (you develop loyalty to what you already have) 12 - You realize you may be quite difficult to live with 13 - You learn to forgive yourself from your errors (you become more like a friend to yourself) 14 - You accept that we all have regressive moments (make peace with the stuborn-like bits of you that will allways remain) 15 - You develop a taste for small pleasures (start to celebrate and take satisfaction from the little things that go well) 16 - You care less of other people opinions (you give up on fame and start to rely on love) 17 - You get better at hearing feedback (start to see that you can listen to criticisms and still survive it) 18 - You realize how close we are to our problems and that you should try to put things under perspective 19 - Your become suspicious of your own first impulses around particular topics (recognise how your distinticve past colors your reactions and learn how to compensate for the distortions that result) 20 - You become a better friend by sharing vulnerabilities
Thanks dude!
Thank you!!
Thank you 😊
Thank you
one sign is not watching the video to see if you’re mature or not, and just accepting that you will always have something to improve on
How is every video on this channel so spot on? Love it
Only now in my 60s am I paying Close attention to my emotional development, why relationships have gone wrong and how they can be improved. Whilst I mourn all the hurt that I have caused to myself and others I am now grateful that the fog is lifting. I pray god that I will be able to navigate the rest of my life with increasing consciousness of mine and others emotions. Many thanks for your content.
I turned 55 this year and I'm also finally learning a lot about myself, learning to forgive others and myself for mistakes, and I feel more grateful for all that I have that brings me joy.
amazing
It never to late
it's never too late, i've met many older people who are set in their ways- too arrogant to learn- and that is their greatest weakness
Better late than never! You should be so proud of yourself for taking this step; I wish I could say the same about my parents :(
I should watch this every morning with my coffee. I might be happier and more effective.
Bro, this is kinda what I learnt from church last Sunday, but deeper, neat
5:15 I have measured out my life with coffee spoons… I see you, School of Life. Can’t sneak an Eliot reference past unnoticed 🥰 thank you for this
I appreciate that not only does this video tell us how emotionally mature we are currently, it also can teach us how we can improve ourselves to live happier, more peaceful lives. I don't relate to most things in this video, but I can say that I'm willing to use this info to grow into a better person and I hope everyone else in a similar position as mine can too :)
I agree so much with your comment, this really sums up my feelings towards the video as well.
same
I stand corrected. I had drafted this ... I wonder how much change this creates? Are you preaching to the choir? People without these traits probably won't be watching this. Is this a self appreciation society? Has anyone out there gained insight from this? I retract my assumptions.
@@colinellicott9737 I think I do or at the very least of me I know that I can be appreciative and insightful to heal in a better shape than Before
Those who went through a lot, and witnessed a lot are destined to reach utmost wisdom. The wisdom of accepting the world with its faultiness, it doesn't mean you will always make the right decisions, but rather do your best, and recognize your limits.
@GTS I can relate with that, I just roam around and see how trivial things are, but still it's those little details that contribute to the bigger scheme
@GTS that's how life is until you get older. If you go through a lot during childhood, your emotional maturity and view on things is like 10 years ahead. But that maturity gap starts to shrink making real connections easier.
According to this video I am an emotionally mature person. You can achieve wisdom through experiences but also through watching people around you. I also like to watch videos that teaches about self-awareness and improvement. It's true that I consider that I went through a lot, and wisdom and maturity was my only way to get out of depression when I was 12.
@GTS I wanted to say that it's not true, but I isolated myself so I am an exemple of what you're saying. I did it because I felt the need to do it at first, in order to think without the influence of others and do my stuff. It is true that I don't see THE POINT. I feel like people SHOULD do that or that, but I don't see the point or how it would be in my interest. I realised that we should prioritize relashionships over every other things. Without relashionship it's hard to accomplish anything. Connection is almost a bigger need than basic needs like eating. Some people starve themselves after breakups. I have my own bowl of problems, I feel my life would be simple if I wouldn't overthink sometimes.
Best reassurance of emotional maturity