How the body keeps the score on trauma | Bessel van der Kolk for Big Think+
Acclaimed psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of “The Body Keeps The Score,” discusses the widespread existence of trauma and how it manifests in our bodies.
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Bessel van der Kolk has studied trauma for 50 years. Though we once considered trauma exclusive to veterans and people growing up in extreme circumstances, we now know it is an extremely common experience. Van der Kolk discusses the impact of trauma and the pathway to healing.
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About Bessel van der Kolk:
Bessel van der Kolk MD spends his career studying how children and adults adapt to traumatic experiences and has translated emerging findings from neuroscience and attachment research to develop and study a range of treatments for traumatic stress in children and adults.
The thing I’ve learned is that trauma doesn’t always mean big things like assault. There can be a series of micro traumas that can accumulate and give the same result
Not the same level of severity, no, but that doesn't mean it's not still a serious problem
No not true...
Cptsd right? I forgot the actual name
@@FurretmaniacsComplex PTSD
could be cptsd
A year of trauma informed therapy absolutely changed my life. I genuinely think therapy should be a human right just like anything related to healthcare.
I want to agree with you. I went to therapy for over a decade, came out of it with a PTSD diagnosis but no treatment for it. Saw multiple therapists over the years. There are some of us for whom therapists never got training for. I came out of therapy feeling uncared for by humanity and disgusted with human nature. Maybe what we also need are capitalism and patriarchy informed therapists. Because the economic and political systems we live in are contributing to the trauma for a lot of us.
@@amethystdream8251W Reich wrote quite a bit about how patriarchy and non equalitarian systems keep people armored (his word for trauma in the body). As you may know, Reich basically invented somatic therapy but was hounded by FDA and AMA - 1,000's of his books were burned in NYC and Reich died in prison on a technicality. When people receive this type of therapy they not only get well within themselves but also restructure their relationships and work lives - and just cannot act against others. This is too much of a threat to our system Perhaps this is why this presenter distances himself from this legacy. If you want to read a biography of Reich, Sharaf's Fury on Earth is very good. Sharaf was trained by Reich and trained Dr Kolk in Somatic, specifically orgone psychotherapy. But the author mentions neither Reich nor Sharaf!
No one’s labor can be a right
@@AyjayAlleyway education is a right in most countries and involves people’s labour… I’ll stop at one example and let you do your research ;)
@@AyjayAlleyway I disagree with you, and I love those that take on the burden of "fruitless" labor voluntarily.
This explains why there is such a heightened agitation after the pandemic. The collective trauma felt by the the fear, the lockdowns, and the rise in addiction are all around us today.
I'd say it sums up to the trend that existed before 2020. You had political extremism and polarization? What about now? You had a drug epidemic? Well, how about now? And the thing goes on and on.
And the media and elites punching down constantly.
I became a weed addict, I have never tried any alcohol, cigarettes or drugs before the pandemic but I tried weed once and completely spiraled… I think weed actually saved my life, because I was extremely suicidal. I also gained 11 kg. I’ve been in CPTSD therapy for over a year, lost my gained weight and some more and stopped smoking finally. But took me hours and hours of therapy + Ketamine Assisted Therapy before I started feeling just remotely myself.
@@NS-xt5wv You should give mushrooms a try if you had positive results from ketemine
Aka Capitalism
There are traumas of neglect as well. When we grow up in an environment that doesn’t show you that you are loved and valued we don’t learn to love ourselves. When we don’t have it modeled for us we find it difficult to accept it about ourselves. As a result other traumas reinforce this worthless feeling. When our parents don’t take time to go to our school plays, games or graduations we are being taught that we are not worth their time. Internally, we feel worthless. Especially when we see all the other parents urging their kids on.
Story of my life
@@silverpenn3809 It is tough to recognize it at all. It is tough to then reject the lies that come from that neglect. Since it is hidden in our subconscious it feels like an embedded “truth” about us. Doing the exercises she gives us tools to use will expose those lies. Once we have them clearly exposed we can replace the lies with the truth. That part is a long haul job. There is no “microwave solution” to a “crock pot” problem! My difficulty is recognizing when I’m reacting out of those lies and stop and apply the truth.
I can relate
The last 2 sentences of your comment totally didn’t hit me like a truck 😢
@@Spungle15 same
Perhaps the most painful aspect of dealing with trauma is being conditioned into believing that one’s response is exaggerated, that what happened is trivial, and thus the built-in guilt and shame that blocks any real progress and healing.
What an inside job this healing of trauma. It really is secondary victimization, in a sense, to share a traumatic event then be told by others that it wasn't that bad or that they know people who went through way worse stuff and to just move on.
Yes, I am learning to appreciate more and more the knowledge of these things, having grown up with a lot of trauma and resulted anxiety that I never much understood, as it not only helps me, but with God's help I can be a better aid to helping others who suffer with it.
Yep, I dump ppl who say things like that like yesterday’s news!
This is really a thing for anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist! They really will try to downplay your feelings and responses to the trauma they are causing! That can def be a block to healing if you allow it.
very discouraging for people trying to heal!
It's not often that an 8 minute video can fundamentally make you understand yourself better. Clear, concise, heartfelt, and true. Looking forward to reading the book now. Thank you sir.
His book is called “The Body Keeps the Score.” It’s a good read for PTSD and C-PTSD sufferers
could've been shorter. Love self/experience + emotions, is gist.
@@NightWear21everyone has different interpretations and perceptions about which book to read. Besides, knowing the basic principles allows them to apply it onto diff areas of their life. Rather than being vague "self love and such", they dive deeper to make better and informed choices in the future.
@NightWear21 the thing about language is those words as is, while maybe enough for you since you may know, but to someone who doesn't may want a more detailed picture painted, but words being only description will never do "what is" justice... swhy miscommunication is a huge part of fights and even wars, trying to exploit one another through language rather than heal and help... that's my thoughts anyway
this is EXACTLY how i felt about the "8-minute abs" video series.
At 44 I just realized I don’t have bad posture, I kept my core collapsed inward because I spent my childhood protecting myself from being randomly hit by my mom everyday. It’s hard to remind myself no one is going to hit me anymore.
are you telling me that at 44 you still remind yourself no one is going to hit you? I thought I would forget when i grow older because that is what everyone says is going to happen. When do you start feeling safe?
@@ama2065today i got out of a 10 month abusive relationship. i threatened to call the cops if he didn't leave, and he threatened to let them find me dead if i pursued the call. i have never felt more out of control of my life and my body. i would find myself flinching at the smallest things already. all i can say is we will go through the trauma together, separately. it is something that should pass with time, and we should constantly remind ourselves of the strength our own bodies provide for us. you will heal🫶🏼 you will feel safe the moment you allow yourself to
It's called body armor
i spend so much time thinking shes going to appear anywhere, anytime, and hit me, that i spend all the time scared
Answer the fear with THIS. WILL. NOT. BREAK. ME!!! You scream it if you must. Do not stop saying it until you believe it. Your story is not going to end with you broken. No ma'am or sir, your story will say look what tore me down. Then I rebuilt myself. You have been through the worst, what is left that can take you down? Nothing. I want you to know that you are strong, you are worthy, and you will move past this. Our mind is similar to a record player. It will play whatever record YOU choose. I would highly recommend some sort of self protection class. You are on a journey and will get to where you need to be. I am rooting for you and I know you are capable of great things. I feel like I am rambling but I sure hope it sparks something within. God Bless
Another important factor is that aggression & submission are _both_ trauma responses but just expressed differently. Because submission often cycles into detachment & learned helplessness, it is far more difficult to identify or address because by nature it doesn't get exposed to others the way aggression does, and often causes us to misinterpret trauma as leading to violent behaviour rather than just an override of survival mechanisms.
Yeah, like that kid who "Is a pleasure to have in class, they're so quiet" But it's because if that kid makes any noise in their home, they get their ass whooped.
@@5Demona5I remember people from my church complimenting my parents for raising me to be a “Quiet and nice man” but they weren’t aware that my parents employed the use of fear tactics such as love bombing, then pulling back quickly so that I couldn’t develop a proper relationship with them. I became reliant on them for my own happiness. I always felt like I could be nothing without them, because I was taught that they could be the only ones who could love me.
@sweettea735 Ouch... I'm sorry to hear that. My mom would beat me with the belt for any and every mistake, no matter how small. I was absolutely terrified of doing anything wrong. All she had to do was look at me in a certain way, and I'd be the perfect little girl. "She's so quiet and polite, and never throws a tantrum." Yeah, cause for every tear spilled in a tantrum equals a belt mark on my back
@@5Demona5 parents are a different breed 😅
(Bunch of victim pussies, your actions are yours, fuck this determinism victim mindset) - this is a viewpoint you should derive a degree of understanding, there is truth in all sides of debates
The book the body keeps the score helped me tremendously to understand that I am not alone in my struggles. I ended up doing EMDR on myself and I finally could start sleeping without having terrible nightmares. I tried neurofeedback and did a family visualizing therapy because it was recommended in the book. A year later I no longer think I have PTSD, I'm off antidepressants and I'm much better. I can be aware of what I like and don't like and I am starting to Really Enjoy Life. For the first time in my life I feel safe. I never thought this could be possible, but it is.
How did you do EMDR on yourself?
Uhhh
You should not .. Poss, down the line, after taught by a EMDR Therapist@@honeymoonavenue97
What's EMDR? And just curious, how long had you been having PTSD? (Like months, years, etc.?)
Google it @@jonjeskie5234
The thing about PTSD that I never expected was the embarrassment and shame that comes from it. In that moment you are genuinely in fight or flight and feel like you will die; you can't override it and it makes you not want to leave the house.
Haha, this is so true. Shame sucks.
Aww! Nothing to be ashamed about but we still have that stigma around these kinds of things!
❤ you are not alone.
Yes, and issues like depression, BPDs, PTSD, DID and C-PTSD are so often mistaken for autism, since everyone thinks that you're an oversensitive and undersensitive princess. Then they look autistic, dramatic and problematic when you respond the same to their triggers but they're adults - you must've done something worse than they did. :) The main reason we avoid therapists and people is cause we don't want our problems to be blamed on us with the wrong diagnosis, and with the abusers still jumping over our heads.
@@Hsjsjb2626 I mean, I'm also autistic and ADHD. My PTSD from an abusive relationship has different triggers, though. I feel like I can mask my autism (at least for a certain amount of time, not indefinitely) but the PTSD triggers aren't predictable. That's why they are so much more difficult to handle.
"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
The greatest opening line in literature, IMO.
A man of culture I see
i am no man @@Ag3nt0fCha0s
I had a particularly stable and loving childhood with nearly zero events of something bad happening. Yet I started showing clear signs of CPTSD in my teens. I know now when looking back that I had undiagnosed autism and I found a lot of regular events to be extremely overwhelming until I turned into a neurotic ball. Videos like this help me untangle a lot of the confusion I still have decades later about it.
THANK YOU, MY GOSH I had pretty much the same thing happen to me, though my mom growing up wasn’t very stable because of all of the absolutely terrible crap she didn’t know she dealt with so I also suffered from emotional neglect and that one really bad second grade teacher that was fired in the middle of the year so we at least had a starting point on some of the trauma to deal with. But it confused me massively why church was so traumatic when nobody ever did anything that would warrant such a response. Then I learned that trauma happens in the perception of events and that I was more sensitive to certain sorts of things than others. Then I learned about autism and everything started to click into place the more I researched. Though I still do have some imposter syndrome about autism, which is one of those things that I just have to learn to deal with until it feels better I think. But you’re the first person I’ve heard about that understands what it’s like to have trauma that wouldn’t be traumatizing for pretty much anyone else. So easy to self-gaslight with that. Too easy.
@@enolp I have such bad imposter syndrome over my autism as well, even though I have a well documented lifetime of medical issues and psychiatrists that all can be perfectly explained by it and show nearly every sign of being on the spectrum.
I think I have autism also! But I discovered it later on! goes all the things that are happening to me! I knew I had ADHD! I have learning disabilities! I was always bullied and people call me idiot! I'm a kinda loving person! And I wasn't an excellent mother to my kids! I need help. I wish I can find someone to help me.! thank you
@@user-os4xi3nc7l im just weird
So you weren't showing signs of CPTSD, you were showing signs of being unable to regulate your emotions. Do you actually have a professional diagnosis of autism, or is it self-diagnosed?
Complex PTSD is sometimes worse than PTSD. I read his book 10 yrs ago. It was a tremendous help. If you live in the Boston area his clinic is still open.
I have complex PTSD over my lifetime - medication and therapy helped. Trauma therapy is good, too.
Yeah, I felt so bad in group trauma therapy because everyone else’s trauma seemed so clear cut and they knew what things to face down to deal with it. Even though I have ptsd, it’s all complex trauma. A series of small traumas throughout my childhood that built up until I was barely able to finish high school because of it. But how to you deal with those traumas when by themselves, they feel so small, and you can’t even tell what most of them are, only that you know they exist because they’re causing problems. It was difficult trying to not gaslight myself for small traumas in the face of everyone else’s big ones.
@@enolpemotional release exercises. Learn how to feel your emotions without needing to attach them to stories. I feel you. It's like there is no one event to reconcile, so what am I forgiving myself for, what am forgetting to love about myself. I think the way forward is authenticity and embodiment. Learn to express yourself, allow yourself to be whatever you want to be despite the limiting beliefs your brain uses to "protect" you. Sing, dance, play, cry, scream, throw a tantrum in a safe container. That's what being alive is, it's all this societal programming that teaches us to hold onto our baggage.
CPTSD is completely different to PTSD. PTSD is from one single traumatic event. And one can fully recover from PTSD. CPTSD is from exposure in your childhood to constant threat and abuse. To multiple traumas and zero safety. It rewires the brain and causes life long damage. One can't recover from cptsd. Only learn how to manage it. All vets who were diagnosed with it post war were abused in childhood. The war didn't do it to them. That just added to their traumas. CPTSD is very misunderstood by people as a disorder. Vets who had safe happy childhoods went to war and experienced the same things as everyone else and they came back traumatised from the war but were able to cope very well with getting back to normal life. Only the vets who were abused in childhood came back and couldn't cope. Many studies have been done now to confirm this.
@@Themis33 yeah, it’s just that C-PTSD isn’t yet an official diagnosis in the US classification system last I heard, so even though it’s the correct description of what I have, the diagnosis I was given was the general label of PTSD so that’s typically what I call it when I don’t want to explain stuff because people know and accept that term. I probably should call it C-PTSD but sometimes it just feels like that takes a bit more energy than I want to give for some reason. Though I’d say my recovery has gone pretty well with the right kind of emotional processing and release
as an adult, my trauma has been eating at me more and more because i am so aware of it now. im constantly caught between still healing and having to push myself to get up and keep going because i am an adult and the world doesn't care what i've been through. some days are so hard, and i realize i just don't allow myself to take care of myself. Protect your energy and health at all costs, or itll send you straight to the grave
Practice self care - mental and physical ❤
True... Only when you are fully developed and matured at a mental level, you will understand what all you have endured, what are the triggers and how hard it is to stop reacting to the triggers... Yeah some days are hard as hell and some are good ...
One thing that I’ve learned from my trauma schooling (including use of aspects introduced in The Body Keeps the Score) is that we aren’t made to *not* go through trauma. The body understands that life itself is traumatic and will cover traumatic memories with amnesia in many instances. Take birth for example. Mothers forget the feeling of the pain of labor, only remembering the fact that it included some large amount of pain. And newborn babies are suddenly pulled from the warm, cozy space they’re used to in the womb into this cold, bright, unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people poking you and wiping the gunk off you and you have no idea what the heck is happening. There is no such thing as a “perfect parent,” because even if one did exist, the children would still have trauma just based off the fact that trauma happens in the perception of events, not in the events themselves. How interesting is that?? I feel like I could go on for days about trauma and examples of normal human traumatic experiences that people don’t even think are leading to further problems down the line. Fascinating.
Very well said! Thank you!
Puh-leeze. The "trauma" of childbirth is new age gobbledygook.
@@Aivottaja then respectfully, I don’t think you understand trauma. And based off the tone of your comment you’re probably not interested in learning so I will just sign off with a “good day to you”
@@enolp You have absolutely no idea about my traumas. And people who manufacture "traumas" from something like getting born, probably think it adds to their character and makes them more interesting.
Your comment was so well put! I was curious, could you list some examples of human experiences that we wouldn't usually think of as traumatic?
Hyper vigilance and sleep disturbances are a big part. Once you start re-experiencing the trauma, you start to feel irritable and for me I often need many hours or even days to regain my composure. I never had insomnia before my accident but it’s been a stubborn side effect of PTSD.
Yeah, I’ve just recently put together that the remaining hyper-vigilance still there after all the trauma I’ve worked through thus far is most likely the cause for why I can only take naps rarely and in very specific circumstances, and can’t fall asleep until I have reason to believe everyone else in the house is in bed going to sleep too.
I had massive residual trauma from a father who beat me severely when I was a little kid. He also raged against the family and terrorized us for decades. I had no idea that my body had stored that trauma well into adulthood. But, with the help of a kinesiologist I was able to release the trauma over several months. It changed my life and freed me from depression, anxiety, drinking too much and self-loathing.
Can you give some personal insight into that process?
@@lorenzo6777 This is truly amazing, because I had years of therapy with a psychiatrist and medication (anti-depressants, anti-anxiety) and it really only helped superficially. I was introduced to a kinesiologist who helped me release the stored trauma in my body. It sounds sort of cheesy at first, but it did more to help me heal than all the therapy sessions combined. The body's cells store trauma and it needs to be purged. Once it's gone, your life will feel completely different. The sessions are almost like hypnosis, but the results are tangible. Find a kinesiologist and have a consultation to see if it will work for you. Good luck.
My circumstances were the same getting a beating at 3. My mind for many years tried to get me to relive it to file it, or understand / accept it. Solved.
Bless you ❤
@@neil03051957bless you ❤
The Body Keeps The Score should be a required read in high school!
This guy genuinely rocks! I received a 100% scholarship worth $2000 USD for the 7-month long research program on traumatic stress at his research institute called Trauma Research Foundation From my brief interaction with him through class, lectures, and QnA sessions, it seems, he really cares to make the world a better place ❤
I am delighted for you! Congratulations on this new phase in your career. 😊
@@margaretvan4909 thank you 🥺🙏🏻🤗
@@SolzeyeJewels thank-youuuuu ♥️🎉
congratulations on the opportunity and best wishes! enjoy it!!
@@citiaii Thank you!! This means a lot!! :))
Psilocybin mushrooms have proven very effective in the treatment of various mental health issues. Helped me get out of years of depression and excessive alcohol use. My social anxiety is gone as well
My first shroom trip was really awesome, it felt like I was deep into the sea
Psychedelics are just an amazing discovery, it's quite fascinating how effective they're for depression and stress disorders. Saved my life
I would love to try shrooms, just don't know where to get them, can anyone link me to someone?
dr.wheelershrooms
On insta
The hard part is, nobody will seem to know what we go though. Even those that have similar stories. Empathy is powerful, but from a point of pain, while going though it, it seems like your all alone. Nobody feels what I feel right now. So I must be alone. Even though that's not true. Its difficult. There might never be a 'solution'. Just consequences.
E.F.T., emotional freedom technique, intention tapping, tapping, quick eft, brain retraining, amygdala rewiring/retraining, brain rewiring. Is all one thing called by many different names, but it works. Even if you don't believe in it while doing it. Don't give anybody any money for it, because there is plenty of info out there for free, and you can develop your own unique way of doing it. Hope that helps. It has helped me.
Pray. God always helps. It is true "emphaty" is key.
@@lili.h1813People have been praying for 1000's of years. Does it really do anything?
And benzos
I’m a clinical psychologist & this philosophy really resonates on a personal professional level. My cardiologist told me about the book last year when I developed endocarditis from pneumonia; my mitral valve & chordae ruptured. I’ve had a lot of grief, loss & trauma throughout my life, I have several autoimmune disorders. The philosophical perspective of being compassionate to people who have experienced trauma, makes so much more sense than toxic positivity♥️♥️♥️
Good call. Toxic positivity is so shallow and fake.
I deeply hate the toxic positivity, the demand of the modern world to be irrationally positive. Life in mostly harsh and mostly failure, having the grit and determination to keep going is how you get through. I've been a millionaire and I've been homeless, irrational positivity didn't help me in either situation.
What sort of surgery did you get? A TEER surgery?
@@sweettea735 I had a minimally invasive mitral valve surgery, my surgeon cut me under my right breast - approximately a 10cm incision between 2 ribs, they also cut me in the right groin, that incision is used to access the femoral artery, they insert the heart lung perfusion pump when they stop the heart for surgery. I also had several other 1cm keyhole incisions. I have Paget’s Disease of Bone, but the nuclear scan that is used to diagnose Paget’s didn’t detect any Paget’s in my ribs; unfortunately my surgeon broke 2 ribs in a few places when he placed the retractors between 2 ribs. My surgeon wired, plated & pinned my ribs.
Have you been able to get better?
This man is brilliant! His book The Body Keeps The Score genuinely helped me with my PTSD more than any psychologist.
How? Does the book tell you what to do? Like self help therapy tools?
@@smakkdat It helped me by understanding my traumatized brain and behavior much better. For example it explained what happens in your brain during a flashback or why during a flashback you cannot comprehend time and space. It’s a fascinating read, I really recommend it.
For real though, it’s so helpful to understand what’s going on internally so you know how to respond to it. The guilt and self-gaslighting can disperse a bit when understanding takes their place
Unless therapists are trained in trauma and somatic experiencing, they probably won’t help. Until I came upon my trauma therapist nothing I was experiencing made sense, now with the understanding of trauma, it does.
@@br4tb4by and for me, how my nervous system became so dysregulated and how that affects everything
He's a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, cutie pie.... On a more serious note, I now see everyone around me differently and have more compassion for all our crazy behavior after reading his book.
I suffered traumas. I was diagnosed with ADHD since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my husband recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. This is something that really need to be use globally to help people with related health challenges.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Dude! People like you give me so much hope. I am about 2 years clean now and I feel like mushrooms are turning my life around. I was feeling so lost and nothing has been working for my severe depression up until a couple years ago. but not since I started with the mushrooms for just some few days back then. Kudos to you for being clean that long! So happy to see people like me doing well in the future regardless of what society makes it seem sometimes. For me shrooms are remedy not a vice.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Imagine being a child in armed conflict being bombed every night. What amount of trauma do they face, even if they don’t remember it, their bodies do. How will they grow up?
What of child soldiers? they have been robbed of their humanity.
And child brides. More humanity robbed.
My husband was a Vietnam vet. I found that doing the same thing every day and night, a stable family, helped tremendously. All humans get trauma before they die. It’s inevitable. How you handle it is everything.
How important and helpful this is! I'm from Ukraine, had difficult childhood and now this war. So happy to know that there's a hope to heal.
Praying for you!
@@GinaMartina2023 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Same here, our beloved Ukraine😢
I’m so sorry. Ukraine and Ukrainians have had so much horror to deal with in the past few years, not to mention Ukraine’s history over the last 120 years even. May this war end, may you and those you love find healing. I and many more keep you all in our hearts and minds and prayers. 🇺🇦❤
@@GiggleHertz64 thank you so much ❤️
I can't imagine how you can grow up in this society without having "Trauma" .. Regarding C-PTSD, I think we're learning how common Trauma really is ..
Common? It’s part of our evolutionary biology. It’s inevitable. Humans are supposed to experience trauma. If that’s a surprise to you then you’re not paying attention.
My fear with it being more common is that people will take it less seriously because "everyone goes through it"
I decided to seek therapy to address my unresolved feelings and work through my trauma. It was a difficult process, but with the help of my therapist, I was able to confront my past and make peace with it. I learned coping mechanisms to deal with my triggers and slowly started opening up to others again. It wasn’t easy, but I am grateful for going through therapy as it helped me realize the impact of my past on my present relationships. I am now more aware of my emotions and how they affect my interactions with others. I have also learned to be more open and vulnerable, allowing me to form closer connections with those around me. Although the scars from my teenage years will always be a part of me, they no longer control me. I have taken control of my trauma and used it as a learning experience to grow and become a better version of myself. I am now able to navigate my relationships with a greater sense of understanding and empathy, both towards myself and others.
Finding a Therapist that "works for you" is great.. @@PoisonelleMisty4311
@@caffeinatedpossum It's happening in pretty much all post WW2 countries right now. Degeneracy is being glorified and normalized by the elderly there, so it's unpleasant and more dangerous to live in them.
I went through a difficult time during my teenage years when my parents’ relationship broke down. I didn’t realize it gave me trauma, I just thought it was an unhappy period of my life that I can put behind. Until one day I almost had a panic attack triggered by an otherwise completely casual remark from a friend. That’s when I realized part of me never moved on from that time, and it prevents me from forming close relationships with people.
Often it is some small thing that awakens us to our past reality. The straw that breaks the camels back, so to speak, but it’s always a very specific straw.
Abso-freakin-lutely.
Married to a Vietnam Vet x 37 years, his trauma was so horrible; all that you said is so true. Flashbacks, hyper vigilant, adverse to crowds, unable to sleep, hair trigger rage, unable to have intimacy, survivor guilt, nightmares.
This must have been so heartbreaking. Did he finally heal?
This is one of the most important subjects in modern society. The recognition of trauma and the solutions to it.
I also feel like a lot of us become high-functioning sociopaths to survive in society. For example, no one wants to make friends with depressed people. No one wants to hire someone who doesn't have a cheerful attitude. We carry around this burden, but we have to hide it from others, so we get really good at lying. We make sure we're "cheerful" and "happy" and fake it so that society accepts us.
You are an honest and intelligent person. Thanks for helping us on this thread.
Society isn’t responsible for people’s individual emotional baggage. They have to take personal responsibility for their mental health. If they’re not doing that then it’s their fault.
@@snorgonofborkkad I disagree, because society should include everyone. Now, I agree that one individual's emotional baggage is not the responsibility of another individual. But to say all of society shouldn't be responsible is a pretty toxic mindset, because you're implying: you are not deserving of a society, of human contact, until you fix your own problems, which may or may not have been caused by others in that same society.
The cheerfulness is a pretty thin and vulnerable layer that breaks down easily, I have found in my own life experiences. You have to be completely disassociated to avoid the resulting breakdown.
After having been working night shifts in a stressful and demanding environment for a year I got a kind of PTSD. I used to have nightmares for half a year and took me a year of therapy to get rid of the symptoms. I’m still struggling with insomnia but at least my body is not super tense anymore. It takes time to deplete your resources and it takes even more time to recover. I wish everyone to be more attentive to your physical and mental health and take care.
Very well said.
♥️♥️ sleep cycles make all this harder... Keep at it... ♥️♥️
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
You are normal. Anybody else who would have lived in your body would act the same way as you do. So you are actually pretty normal according to what happened to you. So don't change a thing until it changes by itself.
Thank you.
As a survivor of a violent parent, I can testify to the life long impact of such situations. I found it required a great deal of restraint not to be violent towards my own children. I didn't spend the time with them I ought to have, to my eternal regret, because I was afraid that I would be violent towards them. The anger is always close to the surface. Now I'm an old man I have learnt, the hard way, coping strategies to recognise my own feelings and deal with them in a lead destructive way.
Are you able to forgive yourself? And your parent ?
@GinaMartina2023 I'm in a better place now, but it's late in my life, and I've had this monkey on my back my entire life. Thanks for your concern.
My therapist shared "The Body Keeps The Score" with me soon after we began therapy. I was blown away and am so grateful.......
Dr Van Der Kolk, thank you for being such an incredible human, doctor and scientist your book opened my eyes to the 20 years of sexual abuse and trauma i had developed dissociative amnesia to survive! As an incest survivor and severly sexually abused child and now woman I have read your book twice already and its incredibly helpful especially the treatment parts. EMDR has worked incredibly well for me on my healing journey! Thank you for all that you have done and are doing to help us traumatized people heal and be understood by those who were lucky enough to not have been abused/tortured like some of us were!
I hope you find your healing.
I wish you the best in your recovery 🙌🏽 Thanks for sharing that
"incest survivor" is a bad term. Not all incest is bad. What you mean is probably "rape survivor".
@@disinfect777 yeah you probably a prepetater yourself thats why you think not all incest is bad or you are a mentally ill person.
@@disinfect777can you elaborate on what part of incest isn't wrong with you?
Wishing everyone recovering from trauma all the best ❤ All health and happiness to you all!
I’m still healing from trauma of losing a job that I poured my heart and soul into because of being targeted by ex colleagues. It felt like I was literally banished from a community where I had built up strong bonds and emotional connections. I have not left my house much since then and the thought of getting another job fills me with intense anxiety. I am on the autism spectrum and feel things very deeply and cannot understand how people can tell lies to benefit themselves. It is both confusing and depressing.
You have my empathy and sympathy, for I can relate to this on a very deep level. My advice is to seek a transitional role related to something else you've wanted to pursue. I encourage you to put your best foot forward and be straightforward while forging your own path. Your community will build itself around you in due time.
I hope ur feeling better 😔❤️
I’ve been there / l understand- don’t let that experience steal your life - what you have to remember is that the incident was not about you more about them and their insecurities- maybe they were secretly jealous of you and your skills - you sometimes need to be careful at work. Always - observe and assess the people you work with so you know who is who and don’t be too nice - keep work as work - separate from your private life. Get back out there and be happy- don’t let them win.
It’s a phenomenal book. My therapist does EMDR with me. I still have nightmares every night but I’m able to self soothe and go back to sleep. My C-PTSD will always be with me, much like an addict will always be an addict, but I’m able to finally live my life not on high alert at all times. Took 3 years of intense therapy to get to this stage, a lot of hard work and dedication but I finally feel some peace at 53 years old.
I wholeheartedly wish you the best of luck with getting better and better with it ❤
@@KatsuragiNamika Aw, thank you so very much. You’ve a beautiful soul. No worries, I’m not hitting the floor every time a fire cracker goes off anymore so that’s massive progress. My husband and our (grown) children are relieved 🤣🤣 I’m a Retired Lt. Col. and I worked for the government. It wasn’t all bad.
@@Sorchia56 hehe, rock on 🩷🩷
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your story.
you can really tell he's spent so much time learning what trauma is and looked into all its factors. it's so nice to see a mental health professional view it as a sociopolitical issue and not just an individual and biological issue because so many practitioners, and even the general public, still echo the outdated view of what trauma is.
I am reading the book currently, and the author is explaining so well with scientific evidence how the trauma manifests itself in body. Some parts where the stories of real people are very hard to read, emotionally hard. Thank you for what you do for the people and science Prof. Van der Kolk.
I spent my life in trauma mode from an early childhood rejection. The profession must catch up to this presenter.
Some do but we cant afford them or theyre outta my network.
After childhood filled with mental/physical abuse and neglect, as an adult I completely shut down emotionally and physically. I'm pretty sure it's because of learned helpessness, I could never learn to stand up for myself or make the situation better, so now I don't even try. I'm 36 and even though the abuse stopped when I was around 16, it still unconsciously dictates everything in my life today. Trauma is one of the most hardest things to overcome, it's like you become your own worst enemy.
Nearly 67 and at long last you have made me understand that I need to take care of the wounds that I am carrying around. I mustn’t give up on myself. Thank you. I have recently bought The Body Keeps the score 🙏
Andrew huberman recently made a video on how journaling can help with trauma and anxiety. Its not a normal kind of journaling
The was the spire stone back in the day... knowing is one thing.. physiological symptoms are another
Ah this is a huge explanation of what generational trauma is
I cut the chord of generational trauma by not having kids.
I can’t believe you said that. As awful as it sounds I hope my daughter doesn’t have children. I’ve traced it back at least 7 generations in my family. I think it’s the only way it’s going to end all the drug and alcohol addiction and the mental illness that runs in our family.. sad but true.
I'm a bodyworker, and I want to be able to help people release the traumas lodged unconsciously in their bodies. Not through talk therapy (though it should be an integral part of recovery) but through finding where it hurts and helping it to release gently and safely. The Body Keeps the Score is on my coffee table right now so I can read some of it every evening. It is incredible and is improving my work in leaps and bounds.
Bodywork is a pseudoscience.
What is this form of therapy called ?
I’ve just trained in a body based approach called Havening, which you might like as a body worker. It works great for folks who don’t want to talk about their trauma…
@@RanmaSyaoranSaotomesounds like reiki lol
There is also a form of therapy called Trauma Release Therapy (TRE)@@tanu5401
I’m in tears watching this realising I have not felt ‘safe’ for a long time. I have lost years of my life to guilt, shame and not feeling. It’s only just become a realisation that I have been living a half life.
Same
Same
His book changed my life, I'll always be grateful.
The Body Keeps The Score is genuinely one of the best books I've ever read, so incredibly eye opening. It's both informative and compassionate; it's neat to see the man behind the book! I'm actually starting EMDR next week after reading about it - thank you for making this information accessible to us
one of the things i tell myself after dealing with a lot of heavy emotions with trauma is: i accept and validate the feelings i went through but they are no longer serving my current situation therefore i let them go. i usually hold my hand over my heart while doing this. it helps to detach those old emotions unto your current self. try to think of it like even though it hurt terribly remember it made you the beautiful person you are today. amazing video, hope this helped ❤ keep going and never give up! you got this!
Yes! It's never too late to learn to love yourself. After 45 years I finally don't blame myself for the sexual assaults that came my way. What a weight to carry!
I came here to watch this because I have PTSD, but the editing choice of imagery and music make this so intense as to be not accessible. I wish that folks would keep the audience in mind
We need more from this guy.
My whole childhood was a feeling of shame and danger. Being in my late 40 I recover more and more from trauma and realise that I become a totally different person and feel totally different about myself. I'm so glad to heal, but it's so exhausting and sad. I realise that I often chose the wrong persons, jobs, partners...😢 It's hard to fix my life but its so worth it
Hi, I'm struggling with this also. It seems like I keep on choosing to be in a toxic environment because abuse is all I know but I don't know how to get out of it. I hope it wouldn't take much of your time but I would like to ask how you're able to heal from it.
@@zade-ut4hw I feel you! It still fehlst Not right to be in a calm, friendly envoirement. I take therapeutic lessons / help ( thank god its free in germany), and it helps a lot to hear podcasts and yt about trauma/healing... I wish you all the best⚘❤
I grew up with a bipolar parent, and his book is helping me a lot. She passed in 2020 and I did not realize how much it had affected me, not just after her passing, but also all my life. Whether or not you have been through something, everyone should read the book. it would help you understand yourself and others. I believe covid traumatized many people and I think his book would help everyone.
I also grew up with a bi-polar parent. He is still alive while my mom passed away 2 years ago. Surely bc of all the stress she encountered dealing with him and shielding her kids. Me and my siblings didnt realize how much trauma we encountered. Its only through some psychedelic experiences and seeing others deal with their trauma through psycho-therapy that i am much more aware of what happened to us. I feel for you, bc it was scary a lot when we were growing up and I hope you take solace and heal from such illuminating discussions such as these on the Big Think! Take care.
the Cv response was traumatising . Banning of early effective treatments causing unnecessary loss of life, censorship of imminent scientific voices, locking people up continuously for 9 months (Australia). Decimating livelihoods, enforcing experimental treatments, loss of jobs, homes. Politicians and health bureaucrats spewing vitriol daily and creating fear and division. For those that saw it for what it was and were impacted, it was deeply traumatic. Not to mention the vicarious trauma for others not impacted necessarily, but observing in shock and horror what others were going through.
how can i read the book for free?
Libraries @@pick2206
Just to show you how bad it can be... my therapist had me read this and I got really pissed off and stopped reading it part-way through because I felt like it favored veterans. My CPTSD is from many, many childhood events that both happened me and that I had witnessed. I felt like I would give anything for training, a weapon and group of guys to go through hell with. At least the vets had that, I thought. I never stood a chance as a child. And somehow their trauma gets more attention than mine. I think the worst part is that there is NO healing, you either learn to live with the BS or not.
You guys are doing such a great job. Thank you so much for putting these videos out!
Absolutely love Bessel. He has helped our therapy team be better at helping trauma survivors (including our own selves!)
as a psychometrician planning to pursue a master's degree, this has inspired me to study about trauma even more. this also reminded me why people react the way they do and to understand where they come from.
I have PTSD from an abusive marriage. It used to be so bad, I was really afraid of the world. Always afraid I was going to get shot if i looked at someone wrong, or plowed into by an out of control car when i drove, and most days at work I think I'm going to be fired. It took me a long time to realize the PTSD makes my entire world feel unsafe, not just other relationships. Anyway i now do EMDR for it and I have noticed the world is feeling safer than it used to. I'm not near as afraid of other people. I can go out to eat again. It's a very draining and hard therapy frankly, but the result has been encouraging 😊 i would recommend looking into it if you have PTSD.
Wow!! This is so powerful & profound! Soo needed to hear this! Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you. You reached me. This will be on my mind for a big while and I'm gonna watch/read more on this. Thank you very much.
“Shadow of former self…passive then 0-10” that’s my dad, and when I once tried to bring up Vietnam, ptsd, trauma, man he blew up and then hung up. So yeah I just am working on my trauma if growing up with that and the choices I made in early life after childhood trauma. I loved that book and this wisdom. Most therapy is not trauma informed and it is a pity.
Love how concise this video was. It definitely makes me interested in attending a lecture from Bessel van ser Kolk. He should go on tour teaching the public!
I've never seen a video that touchs my heart so much about my own condition. It's not new for me. I knew all along that I live with a big trauma, but to see some professional saying and could even use it to explain to other people is great to me. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you. This is honestly beyond amazing and has just surfaced a realisation of the habits I now embody are the same ones I turned to when I was being abused. 🤯
For the first time in a long time, I feel understood. Thank you.
My body has a cummulation of chronic pains due to all kinds of abuse. The more years pass by the more pains add to the already existing pain. I really tried hard to prevent traumas and to get rid of the hurt built up in various places in my body and soul but I didn’t succeed. I try to live with it and stay out of trouble as much as possible but living in a violent abusive societt it makes it almost impossible.
Thank you for this soothing message. I already feel better.
thanks for reminding me of the constant pain i'm in
sir, thank you for sharing your knowledge and compassion
Excellent, such a beautiful explanation😊
This made me cry. Such a harsh but honest look at how it all feels.
Thank you for validating individual experiences. I have always been hesitant to call my experiences trauma, since others close to me had it worse (as weve been taught)
I'm such a huge fan of The Body Keeps the Score, amazing, eye opening book. I was so happy when I saw this video had been published. Thank you so much
Recently finished The Body Keeps the Score. It is a powerful, important, and moving work.
What a calming, engaging speaker this gentleman is. Thank you for sharing.
Such a beautiful way to look at the interconnectedness of our experiences in society with what we experience internally and individually. Thank you for sharing!
From a vet, thanks doc Seems to me, a layman in every way, that quieting the default mode network is the key to well being in many areas. Trauma, mindfulness, anxiety…I hope psychoactive compounds continue to be decriminalized, if in fact they continue to prove to be an effective treatment
I am sure psychedelics will become legalised and in big part because veterans want and need them, so there is bipartisan support.
Not a Veteran, just had a bad childhood... and I feel that LSD saved my sanity. I would also recommend flower essences, also known as Bach Flower Remedies. Chapparal is great for PTSD.
Just had a session with my psychologist today, talking about an incident that triggered me last week and how I reacted to it. We discussed what I can do the next time I find myself in that situation again, which wasn't the first time.
I am grateful for you, Bessel-- and your team. What you have shared so articulately, and with more empathy than I've heard in awhile has really affected me positively today. I am a mum of 3 navigating a sea of grief. Trauma has knocked on my door multiple times in the past, but never as strongly as it had when we lost someone in our family at the age of 20 in 2020-- to a stupid senseless accident. It's been three years and I feel like I haven't grown with it. I think it may be time to start seeing someone without fear of being plied with drugs or cognitive re-programming. Thanks again, for sharing this. Hope the year brings you joy. :)
Thank you Dr. van de Kolk - your book and your practice and your presence have had an enormous and positive impact on me and my life. I am 61 and still healing - so glad I found you and only wish it had been sooner. Be well and bless you.
Thank you. I've thought about the probability of most of our society having PTSD after prolonged exposure to violence of all kinds.
WOW! I really needed to hear this today. This explains a lot of my feelings of inadequacy. I had a traumatic childhood experience which I carried for decades. I married a narcissist who could smell my trauma and used it against me. When I learnt what I was dealing with I learnt how to cope and your video helped me to remember. Now I can slowly learn to live with what I saw at the age of 7. My mother attacked my grandmother with a curling iron and then they both rolled down the stairs fighting. Because I witnessed this I believe my mother hated me for this. Everyone worshipped my mother who constantly manipulated and taunted me because I knew the truth. Thank you for this video.
Thank you soo much for this expert conclusion on trauma. This commonity is what i have been suspecting. And i intend to help people in my environment with the magic of breathwork! ❤
Sir, your book is a Godsend. It has helped many friends.
I appreciate this video now I understand why I feel scared and weak when confronting other people.
This man is my primary inspiration. Great vid.
I bought his book…EYE OPENING. Thank you for posting this video ❤
Understanding what is Trauma, his books and EMDR therapy saved my life. Thank you for this video.
Thanks, Thanks, Thanks ... for your great work and your tireless commitment to spread the findings around the world. 🙏
Thank you for this important information, Dr. Bessel.
I generally don't comment on videos, but guys, please please read the whole book if you're interested to learn more about trauma and how it affects the body. I'm a 100 pages into it and I literally hugged the book while sleeping because someone finally understood how it feels like to be abused. This book omg. It changed how we see human psychology altogether. Seriously, the effort that went into this book is just too small to be put into words. Thank you to Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk and every single person who contributed to making this book. I'm forever grateful.
I've never had trama . But I been hurt to the core when I found out our son took his life at the age of 19. I have never hurt so bad in my life . I told my husband please take me to the hospital and when the doctor came in I said knock me out I can't recall if I told him what happened. He gave me 2 shots we went back to our motel room and I asked my husband to run me a bath he did.he said he sat with me while I was in the tub. Our daughter came and got us because we had went with some people to deadwood south Dakota. I don't remember talking to our daughter or the ride home . The next morning when I wake up my cousin was in my kitchen making breakfast and the next few days where a blur I remember so so many people coming to our son's funeral and thinking. Christopher you were loved by so many people why my boy why. And to this day 14 yrs later I still don't know why . December 18 th will be our sons 33rd birthday.
Thank you Dr I've watched countless videos on PTSD but you have helped me more in this video in 5 minutes than any before
This is such an enlightening video. Thank you for sharing.
This was so informative, thank you so much. Well explained and makes me think I should probably seek a very specific type of therapy.