As Joe Biden's Inauguration Approaches, The Fascist Threat Is Growing
President-elect Biden won't be taking his beloved Amtrak train to his inauguration next week because of the clear and present threat posed by violent extremists inspired by the outgoing president. #Colbert #BidenInauguration #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
Not letting your own bodyguards use your bathroom while they're protecting your life. Just when you think these people couldn't be more unlikable.
Surely out of 6 bathrooms, one could have been set aside for the use of the body guards? Totally crap people Jared and Ivanka.
Also very dumb, would you take a bullet for someone who thought you weren’t good enough to use their crapper?
This is actually really common among the super elite. Typically they will build out a water closet in a servants area for housekeepers and security. Middle class urine is toxic to elite plumbing apparently...
@@lhodgens if I was working there I’d make a point of laying a huge “brown trout” on the carpet when they weren’t looking. Or maybe on the bed.
The irony: Secret Service were going to the Obama residence to use the bathroom until they could locate one that was closer. Clearly the Obamas are willing to help, why not the Trumps?
"When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent." - Isaac Asimov
Has been for years, as the GOP does not in any way endorse education for the public at large.
Yes I was wandering why can’t they charge Trump straight to the Supreme Court for the insurrection, riot & attempted coup.
@@starscreamofvos When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent." - Isaac Asimov
"When Life itself seems lunatic...who knows where madness lies?...Perhaps to be too practical is madness...too much sanity may be madness" - Don Quixote #Sarcasm
Yeah, I wouldn’t disagree with your sentiments but don’t quote that guy. Or ya know, look at some of his other quotes. Kind of a shitty person.
You know, in Canada, we go many months without being aware of our government. So boring. Thank god.
Dear Canadian stranger, stop making fun of us, would ya, oh well, it only happens when dumpy rumpy goes to jail ! Pray for us till that day, please !
I would've moved there years ago if I didn't hate stoners so much
@@tuckerbowen4626 what
Ahhh, I miss those days in America. Maybe someday our government will be boring again...
@@cbpd89 ya, I don't even remember what Obama did for 8 years. I'm sure he and his people did a lot of great stuff. Back when Ebola was hitting Texas and stuff, we were worried since we live right next to Dallas, but nah, nothing "exciting" for 8 years pretty much
"When you are born in this world you are born into a freak show, but when you are born in the United States you get a front row seat." George Carlin
Yess
The cameramen giggling is actually better than the audience.
true! I love this repoire
The only thing better than the cameramen giggling is Evie giggling off to the side
Evie is the best though:)
Agreed, I honestly love this setup - more than the pre-covid one.
So true 👍
You can definitely tell Stephen lowkey feeds off a smaller audience better, whether that be his wife or a few cameramen there. The little giggles they let out after his jokes really lights up his face 🥰
The show is waaay better now imo. Studio audiences and all the extra glam really takes the human aspect out of things.
Colbert and Conan have talked about how the real goal is to get the camera man to chuckle. They hear the comedy all the time and only seemingly laugh when its real good. It's like breaking the camera man's character. :D
His wife is his best medicine! 😂
Reminds me of something Maria Bamford said about her comedy: "I'm really only ever performing for two people, Mrs. and Mr. Bamford," to lead a special doing her set just for her parents. I wonder if Stephen's always kind of performed so that his family watching at home will like it in a similar way.
@@heatherkaye8653 and you can hear the camera man laugh @ 10:40! 😂
Not gonna lie off-the-cuff Colbert is better than when he actually has a script.
“Oops! All cousins!” Damn that’s a deep cut 😂
If Nixon were alive, he'd say "I'm not a crook... Compared to this guy!"
If Nixon were alive he'd say " dude, I'm not worthy"...(ok he prolly wouldn't say dude).
God I would love Richard Nixon right now
@@krisk6954 rofl this is a pretty good parody
If Nixon were alive he would’ve said: “As you can clearly see Watergate is nothing compared to Trump. If he was the president when I was he wouldn’t have lasted 12 days.”
And Nixon would be right.
"I assumed he'd leave" Stephen, i've been saying that for 4 years.
I'd be honored if some fellow concerned citizens would take a quick listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performance of DANCING IN THE DARK by Bruce Springsteen on my YT channel in tribute to the resilience of the United States of America. Peace and everybody stay safe out there.
@@willritter4076 not the video for that plug.
Aw, you beat me to it. 😂
LOL 😂🤣
Honestly I thought he'd have had a heart attack by now and y'know.... Died
I love when there's interaction between him and the staff behind the camera.
AKA the audience ;-)
Aka his family 🤣
@@emisuenaga5881 Cool. I didn't know that. Have they built a small studio in his house, or are they using his covid proofed studio.
@@davep8221 I guess I'm not sure how they're doing it now since I'm not able to watch every episode. But in the beginning of quarantine they were shooting at his house and his wife and kids were the crew, operating the camera and lights! I think most shows like this operated that way. Very wholesome!
Has anyone checked up on Barron lately? I think about him the most. He seems like a sweet gem who deserves to be protected.
His whore mom is making sure he has little to no contact her customer, uh ....I mean adulterer husband.
I love hearing his crew laughing and Evie, when she comes. The best.
yes i was looking for this, that guy went off this time, i kinda like the more intimate show now, but i miss the band having more time
Me too, also love it when he takes them on 🤣
Am I the only one who would love to have a camera that shows both the crew and Stephen, perhaps placed near the dog portrait so we could see them trying - and failing in the most candid way - not to laugh?
Totally! Evie laughing in the background is just the best. Adorable!
Its a better format than having a live audience ... Hope they keep it this way with the funny interaction with the skeleton staff ... 😉
“I cannot emphasize” vs “I cannot emphasize more” is such a huge difference
Trump isn't bright enough to work with syntax.
It's funny when you realise you're listening to an American fat man talking about his 'size'. Then you realise he thinks 'empha' is another word for 'supa'.
dude right? his people, are going to take this as "Secret code"... he knows what he's doing.
@@buddydooley8650 I cannot font bolder... ;-P
I could care less. 😜
Stephen man you're a shining light in the darkness. Hilarious and inspiring, giving me hope through comedy. Thank you very much.
“Please don’t let there be a next time!!!”
Now that we've been able to hear the crew laughing, I never want to see Stephen perform in front of a live audience ever again. This is just so much better.
Agreed!
"We're leaving a madman in power because of logistics" As a Canadian..this seems like an accurate representation of the current U.S politics system
Travis C Logistics? Haha, were u military?
To be fair, most weddings take at least three months to prepare and the only difference the wedding planner makes is between a beautiful, fun wedding and a dismal, boring wedding.
Geeeessh
Well-put Bravo sir Bravo
Yeah let's all go woke like tradeau, prick
That impersonation of Trump's son had me drowning. My survival instincts had to kick in for me to stop laughing. "Wait where are you going dad?" 😭😭😭 They really look like that
Who's at home over-indulging until their belly aches?
@Andrew Walton k
I really hope Colbert keeps this unfiltered version of himself when he finally heads back to the theatre. It's so much more relatable and keeps getting funnier.
I absolutely agree. It's so much more informal now. I loved the whole sea shanty argument! And obviously, Stephen is right, a year of the sea shanty is long overdue and this one will be it. Also, I can't even imagine this show anymore without either his wife or his showrunner cracking up in the background.
@ImAProudIndian lol Seth Meyers too. Can’t blame em
@Ivan Zhao Aah, the obligatory "but remember the old days! Everything was better back then!" Comment. Took you a while to get here! When I was young, these comments made it here much quicker!
@ImAProudIndian Well, 2020 did feel like a whole decade. You're right, they definitely did age more than usual, and they're not the only ones. But that's also not a bad thing. I think they look great - grey suits them well -, more mature and also much more at ease with themselves in this informal setting. I really hope they keep it or at least something like it.
I just wanted to jump in the comment section and say nothing of importance.
James Buchanan is finally free of his "The Worst President Ever" title...New & eternal winner of this title is someone else
Trump is the best at being the worst president ever.
Hey, he got a bathtub in the white house, he couldn't be THAT bad
@@kshitijsrivastava6440 you’re thinking of Taft he was 350 pounds and had his own custom bathtub
You're all forgetting Andrew Jackson! Although, Trump's body count makes the Trail of Tears look like a cakewalk.
@@HotspurFC-cu6ny no no, I get that, I'm saying James Buchanan had the very first bathtub installed in the white house
Bro "Pay-Per-View Porn Oops! All Cousins" has me dying 🤣😂💀
"Shown here being summoned by a haunted music box.." 🤣😂 Jared and Ivanka ARE creepy af!!
There really was an Amityville house of horror vibe going on there.
Crossdresser
The limited times I've looked at Jared, I'm convinced he's a Weyland-Yutani android.
This was so predictable to all reasonable people. What I can't get over is that approx 75 m Americans voted for him.
all 75 million of them don't understand psychology or know what emotional intelligence is
No shit, Jason. The monster is gone but the fear remains. 70+ million people! Many of them brainwashed and angry.
Which means 80% the population rejected him
Apparently they can’t get over it either
Truly disgusting & extremely embarassing.
God I'm so happy they're doing the Colbert Report again.
Good, Colbert will be funny again.
The crew wheezing in the back makes me like this version of Late Night more than live shows. I feel like I'm just talking to my friend who's losing his mind-
The only host who doesn’t need an audience to make me laugh ☺️
So True I’m kmslmmfao! Especially when he says If you have trouble telling the difference between the National Guard and The Trumpsters they will be the ones “ Not “ holding the confederate flag ( fingers crossed 🤞🏽) 😂😂😂😂
What about Seth !
agreed, I love his show!
@@aussierules3436 seth is good but Cobert is better (my opinion) lol
John Oliver too!
Trumps not paying Rudy? Well that’s a surprise. Well, seeing as he doesn’t pay anyone, not really
except for hookers..
@@alaric_ I was about to say that
Things he is known for..not paying is his thing.
He truly fancies himself a king...
Might want to remember the past contractor's He's screwed over.
"Dammit, 1971 was the year things were supposed to get better!" Seems to me like good times are still yet to come
7:38 Lmfaoooo i had trouble typing this message out when he started immitating eric
After what happened last week, I’m glad the troops are there. I hope they’re comfortable and I hope this ends up being a boring deployment.
It's really frustrating for those deployed. They're legit being held captive where they are due to all the paranoia and threats. Regime change can't come fast enough
@@aignemakerofchase paranoia? You mean the actual looming threat of facism?
I honestly think there might not be enough...
@@aignemakerofchase Paranoia due to the fact that someone in the building is still posting threats on GOP reps' office doors for voting to impeach, and the fact that something's supposed to happen in the days leading up to the inauguration. That crap is coming from inside the building. I'd want the National Guard around too while they figure this out.
Yes. I feel so bad for the poor Patriots... Call of duty. They are all huddled together in a pandemic, God! It’s not like you can take your mask off to get fresh air. This is just too much. Sending 💕 their way and that they be strengthened and safe and Covid free.
I can’t believe the bathroom drama is .. real 🤦
Skidmarks
They have no reason to leak a story like thatl unless it's true. Hell, it belongs on a dump heap anyway.
They truly suc
Yeah, politics aside, at least show some courtesy when using someone else's lavatory.
They should have put a portaloo on the lawn. Lol
He said that he "could NOT emphasize" that there should be no violence...etc. Missed that one!
If I heard the secret service 🚽 story 4 years ago, I would have dismissed it as ridiculous
Once this pandemic is over and audiences can return I’m gonna miss the muffled laughter from backstage assistants.
Same. This is my favorite format.
@Ivan Zhao Please explain.
@Daniel Verberne I actually prefer this format better than the previous one, it's casual and more fun to watch, it's better than having an audience, I hope it stays this way even after the pandemic is over.
Longer and more strict lockdowns under Biden, so you'll have to wait for the audience.
@@hardowider5054 Good, maybe the lockdowns will finally amount to something.
The single laugh in the background from the camera man or someone is so wholesome from time to time xD
funny part is they had a full studio audience which explains the single laugh
It's probably producer Chris Licht
His wife has been on the quite a lot. If Stephen tells a really good joke you can her laughing.
Of all the late night host Stephen is the only one that makes me laugh out loud! I like Corden too, but that's just because of his accent.
LMAO that toot cut away timing was perfect
the only person who thought Trump was gonna pay Guilliani, was Guilliani.
Actually, now that you mention it, maybe this was the long con by guilliani to get as much out of Trump as he could.
Good point!! He's so DAFT now, to think an angry DONNY is gonna pay ANYONE he thinks "FAILED ME!!!" LOL.
We all saw that coming.
I guess Guilli never checked Trumps history of failing to pay people who do work for him. Shocker there.
LOL! 😄 He should really be in prison for not paying those contractors who did work on his failed casinos!
*A man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.* ... _If only the GOP understood this_
ADHDers would like a word with you...
LOL imagine how boring politicians lives in the US are that they have nothing else to do but try and fail to impeach the president a WEEK before he leaves
i'm glad you are calling fascism.....fascism! if we are not able to defeat fascism in these next 4 years, our days as a democracy, are counted!!
“I assumed he would leave...” I feel like this is going to age well as a quote
Oh god no
Age well? He's still the president🙄
I, too, thought Obama would leave. He's hanging around telling Colbert what to say and being the "Boss" of Biden and the Socialist Marxist dems.
@Rick Ton @Rick Ton strong suit? Hell no, but it's probably not yours or most peoples strong suit either. But in my case it wasnt the context that was missed as context has multiple interpretable sides, usually one being the obvious- and in my groggy rise from slumber missed the intent of the comment completely. And then you come along, pompous and probably self important in day to day life, the kind of person who talks down to people you presume are below you in any way and with smug and dismissive upspeak. The kind of person who gets home from some middleman kind of job, a job that is unnecessary for everybody except lazy and stupid people with some extra dough supporting your career that nobody would miss and society would ultimately be better off without, plants his ass on the love seat facing the big screen finely tuned and adjusted for everything sports, takes his shoes off as if he spent his day working and building things like a man, peels off his slightly damp sock and brings it to his nostrils for a whiff that goes deeper in his lungs than any workout he almost got thru and holds it for a bit like a toke of good California cannibas, and as he exhales tries to use his taste buds to catch the last details of his essence as it's released for second hand enjoyment by his family in his close proximity. That's probably you right? Im probably completely wrong in how I described you, wrong in every possible way. But that doesn't change the fact you've demonstrated your limited to little understanding of what context actually is all while smugly attempting to question my grasp of it. and since you can't differentiate context and basic reading comprehension, I can only hope you have an epiphany from here and a life changing eureka moment, but as expected you will most likely go back to smelling your socks, wondering what makes that very subtle note of ammonia ...
@@capostfrancis1304 LMAO 🤣 😂 😆 💀 💀💀
Take an inventory, you know Trump will be leaving with more than he came with....
I recognize you - I’ve seen your comments on The View a million times!
Already did. His minions looted the House empty
They were already caught with a bust of Lincoln.
They definitely gotta make sure to inventory all the silverware and CHINA
@@corybaldwin1168 I think at this point, it shows he is actually moving. Sorry Mr. Lincoln, you took one for the team.
That Courtship of Eddie's father theme song was off the charts hilarious !LoL
This show is so much better than it was pre-Covid. Evie giggling off-camera is often the best part. Hats off to the writers as well. They have been on a roll for months. All we need now is to get rid of the gratuitous and awkward band segments.
"There's no way the President is going to pay for Rudy's gas when he's already giving it away for free "🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That was the comment of the evening! .... emphasised with a sound effect :)
Remember, the fuel is free, he's stealing it from Syria.
Ha ha lol
Probably on his way to the Four Seasons 🤣
Hands up everyone who knew Humpty would never pay Rudy.
🤚🤚🤚🤚🤚🤚. That would be me atleast.
Obviously lol 👍
🖐🏾
🙋🏻♀️
As much as I hate both I think we can all agree that Rudy is so shitty at his job that he doesn't deserve to be paid. Dude is just pathetic.
Can't get enough of you Stephen. Wish I could sit in your audience or even better would be to dine with you & just listen to all you have to say.🥰
I love that Rudy Giuliani watched "Oops! All Cousins!” not once, but twice based on that invoice! 😆
I love hearing the one person just laughing their ass off in the background
I am dying laughing at him, is going to be biblical
I like to imagine it’s his mom.
@ImAProudIndian And his wife!
A sad page in our history. Trump corrupted even our proudest tradition: a peaceful transition. Well, he wanted to be memorable.
And he's certainly winning in terms of record number impeachments.
Always on the lookout for your comments, Leo. TY. I think I've seen you in Ring Of Fire. Have you checked out Farron Balanced yet?
He literally said now that it was proven there was no fraud, he was committed to a peaceful transfer of power
Oh, yeah. History will not forget him or be kind.
@@benwasserman8223 Half of all POTUS impeachments belong to Trump. Somebody must have told him Obama didn't have one.😆
The haunted musical box thing killed me!
I completely lost it at "he's literally too old for this ****"
I half suspect those bathrooms are out of order due to excessive document flushing.
Ah yes, massive dumps
So sad that we need to do this because of fellow Americans.
Yeah, Leo. The sad thing is that if we are ever to defeat the kleptoligarchs and achieve real change we must ally with the Trumplicans. Ugh.
They'e forfeited that title as far as I'm concerned, Leonaza. 😡
@SWAT Kats said the Kool-Aid drinking delusional Trump cult member. We don't need to hear your delusional conspiracy theories.
@SWAT Kats So storming the capital and 5 deaths is equivalent to fake election claims, and hunter bidens laptop? Hunter fn biden!!! That's all you got? Smh....America is no more...
@SWAT Kats this was already tiring a year ago. Just shut the hell up and change your name, you bring shame to the cartoon.
This didn't age well
The imitation of Don Jr. and Eric 👌🏼🤣😂
2021: Year of the Sea Shanties 2013: Hold my Assassin's Creed: Black Flag rum
2007ish: Hold my smuggled Runescape rum
@@Jethwright I haven't played Runescape, sorry
No, it's not "hold" either of those games... It's to play those again!
They need to be billed for the cost of the secret service dumps.
Agree
Stephen!!! The TRUTH of it all!! THANK YOU!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👌🏽👍🏽
Colbert's impression of Eric trump is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂
I am saddened that this inauguration cannot be considered safe. Joe Biden deserves so much better.
That is true yes. But what is even more sas is that it cannot be considered safe for the American people. That is what is really sad.
He does not deserve better. He is a known segregationist, who said, he didn’t want his kids in a “racial jungle.” He wants to give free healthcare which will then raise taxes on everyone, which means it’s not free. He wants to give free handouts, to people which will cause people not to work, which will ruin the economy. He said if you don’t vote for him you ain’t black, and many more things. He doesn’t deserve anything.
@@HouseOfHockey14 Its always funny when Republicans flip fop and pretend to give a shit about racism
@@HouseOfHockey14 well I'd like to argue that going by that rationale Trump doesn't deserve sh!t either.
You're ok with the fact that Biden is an actual racist? Not wanting his kids to go to school in a racial jungle. Giving eulogy at KKKs grand wizards funeral. Roaches? Meaning black kids whose parents won't stop breeding. So much more. If Trump said any of this you would have a meltdown and the media would play it over and over again. Instead they play edited clips taken out of context cos they have no examples of him being actually racist. You can argue but it won't change what Biden is
“I cannot emphasise that there must be no violence...” That’s a double negative, he is saying there will be violence.
I'm surprised he hasn't said something like "It would be a shame if something bad happened to Joe Biden on his inauguration day". Like some mafia boss.
@Peter McMillan Remember when conspiracy theorists were just harmless cranks who watched the X files?
The word „enough“ seems to be missing in the script or he didn‘t read it because he is dyslexic and doesn‘t understand his speeches.
Exactly.
A few people here have seemed to notice that!
"One plague at a time, please." Liked that.
Uncle Rudy’s Original Skull Syrup! Oh man I’m literally ROFL at that one! Bravo to that writer 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
Jared and Ivanka not letting secret service members use their toilet has some serious “upstairs vs. downstairs” energy
More like 1950s the help
Downtown Abbey eh!
Maybe they like a slice of chocolate pie?
@@joshuddin897 Except that Downton Abbey had bathrooms upstairs AND downstairs, so nobody was mistreated.
It's revolting to treat anyone that way. Wouldn't it be funny if they spend the rest of their lives having crap pranks played on them? 😂
Stephen: “You okay? Can I get you anything?” Me: not gonna lie buddy, peaches sound pretty good right now
some ideas for a better planet Matthew 5: 27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Luke 17:1 And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! better stop producing / uploading / watching "music videos".. (or similar videos, pics, profile pictures, thumbnails, title names, headlines, usernames + harmful comments, bad words, lies, disrespect, harmful lyrics etc! on social media + everywhere else too. "Temptations to sin" / seduction etc. must stop) start deleting? censoring etc.? destroy your smartphones, cams, data storage devices etc? would be better. remove temptations / seduction + other evil things from TV, magazines, radio stations, broadcasting etc? would be better. many young people are watching those videos (or reading / typing harmful comments, or doing other bad things!) etc. all over the world. and its NOT ok! parents? (or people in authority): intervene?! seriously wait.. there is more: harmful drawings / comics / animations etc, clothing / styles / hairstyles / behaviour, facial expressions, gestures, dancemoves, acting, exercises, sports etc. harmful things in video games, news, reports, interviews, vlogs, tutorials, movies, series, trailers, entertainment shows, (+ backgrounds + surroundings), books, art, artworks, calendars, posters, business flyers, catalogues, leaflets, packagings, stickers etc. (words, speeches (+ voice types, vocal color etc), music, sounds, visuals, references! etc.) harmful things in stores and online shops, advertisements + advertising, commercials... + better stop online dating and other harmful things! maybe.. support ocean or river! clean up organizations? (i think it is of high importance) (in india, pakistan, africa etc) + support animal welfare (animal shelters (money for food or new fluffy dog beds? blankets?, small fluffy carpets? (+ washing machines?), pet vitamin supplements, + pet supplies (dog toothbrushes?), pet toys, dog hairbrush? (parasites!) bath towels?, medical checks, dental care? / nail, paw care? etc. pet heating pads? heated dog houses? (for winter or in cold areas), pet cooling mats / pads (on hot days, summer etc), diesel powered portable generators? (outdoor electric power generation) (to run vacuum cleaners, washing machines etc), solar lamps? (smart lighting solutions), transport vehicles, maintenance work etc. + other improvements, additional staff + volunteers, more safety, beautifications? etc. topiary? + animal rescue ? (dog rescue projects in india?), animal hospitals? (in poor countries or districts) or homeless people in your area? (btw governments should help these people! seriously. fast / adequate / individual support?!) support some of them? as an act of goodwill. + always be careful: corona etc.! or become a firefighter, volunteer firefighter (+ driver? (pump operator), paramedic or ER doctor? ER nurse? ambulatory care? or shuttle service? (for people with disabilities) + be cautious: corona, hepatitis, tuberculosis etc! become an instructor? (fire and rescue?, emergency medical services?, advanced driving techniques?, advanced first aid?, psychological first aid?, wound care management!? + preventions (decubitus!, contractures!, thrush!, periodontitis!, loneliness?? etc) (nursing homes / home care / hospitals etc. + training seminars for employees) + hygienics?, high angle rescue techniques?, first aid for pets?, basic pet care?, junior firefighter programs?) start reading medical books? (anatomy? / physiology? / ECG interpretation? / EMS (paramedic books?) or nursing books? or blood banking and transfusion medicine? or dental engineering? medical or rescue engineering? medical dictionary? (illustrated) become a dog trainer? (rescue dogs, avalanche rescue dogs, therapy dogs) education? + watch out! dogs, cats etc. can transmit / spread corona! become an animal rescuer or animal doctor? + watch out! CORONA! (protection, safety measures etc.) caution! they say: Coronaviruses are zoonotic, meaning they are transmitted between animals and people! maybe... plant a tree? many trees? a walnut tree?? in a park, garden or backyard? a walnut tree = food source (for birds etc) + oxygen generator. + provide water for animals in summer? fresh water source? or bird bath? or food? (daily? or several times a week?) use checklists to improve efficiency? snowy days? become a snowplow driver? (volunteer?) or towing service worker? or pharmaceutical supplier? + be cautious: corona! new technologies + other cool things: Far-UVC light (222nm) efficiently and safely inactivates airborne human coronaviruses?? (+ flu virus and many other?) do research? progress? + installations? (in offices, busses, trains, restrooms, elevators, classrooms, corridors, stairwells, hospitals etc?) .. could save lives. + improve immune systems? (food nutrients?) + portable plexiglass virus shields? (for counters, offices, workplaces, waiting rooms, buses, trains, passenger cabins etc) + air purifiers? (with HEPA filter) + limit the number of customers in stores, shopping malls, buses etc?, keep distance + distance floor markings?, + keep windows / vehicle windows wide! open for ventilation? + stay at home? amazing tools for rescue workers: portable hydraulic StrongArm (r) for firefighters etc. ( jawsoflife com ), hands free thermal vision (in mask imaging system), in mask heat vision (temperature display etc) or c-thru technology. + there are more amazing tools! high rise rescue solution? SPARS parachute rescue system? ( cosmic-rs com ) fireproof clothing? + fire escape hoods?! (fire escape hoods and fire escape masks are designed to help you to escape from a burning building. each of these fire escape masks and hoods allows you 15 ? minutes to flee through the toxic gases / smoke) smoke detectors with LCD display?, CO detectors?, fire blankets?, fire extinguisher? (+ fireproof clothing, cap, gloves, safety glasses etc?) (+ fire extinguisher selection chart?) fire suppression systems? smoke extraction? fire protective coatings? (or anti corrosion?), seat belt cutter? useful gift idea? for family or friends etc. (or useful teaching books etc.) support fire and rescue departments / services in poor countries or districts? (new helmet lamps, safety clothing + shoes, new equipment, fire escape hoods, thermal monitoring? (thermal vision will help you to track down a fire's source and smouldering fires in dark. glowing embers as well as fire hot-spots can be detected and fighted very fast and efficiently! + mobile infrared cameras could detect hidden hotspots or locate people in smoke-filled buildings), first responder kits etc. / communication devices (wearing! portable radios), new vehicles? a turntable ladder?? training verhicles? new motorcycles? (+ customizable / agility / more efficiency, + difficult terrain / crowded areas etc), new firefighter / rescue helicopters? (certain areas) new reanimation boards (for nursing homes / hospitals etc), new lifters? (patient transfer solutions), protection equipment / protective gear (corona), medical oxygen??, ventilators?, AEDs + first responder kits, pulse oximeters, diagnostic penlights, glucometers? (+ strips), + various batteries (or battery charger?), blood pressure cuffs, stethoscopes, weight scales, label machines? (for clothing or other personal things), rescue blankets?, stifneck collars?, thermometers, neck pillows, heating pads / cooling packs (or aspirators + tubes, IV poles, (+ IV (intravenous) nutrition), breath exercisers, electric shavers!, nail clippers!, glasses cleaning cloths, non-slip socks! and many other good things + health care products (high quality products?) etc, compression bandages, medical dressing (+ anti pressure sores (decubitus!) elbow / heel protectors / pads / comfort cushions etc), CPR training simulators?, disposable ambu bags?, new rollators + replacement parts (+ hip protectors etc), wheelchairs + replacement parts (footrests, leg rest, headrest + cushion, armrest pads + comfort pillows?, cushion pads etc. to prevent pressure sores!), gel pads for shoes + back heel pads etc (+ improved skin inspections?! + treatment + reports + regular checks (+ photo documentation? with digital camera (disease / wound / injury processes! etc), anti decubitus air mattress for additional prevention?, + prevent hand contractures? (hand / wrist / finger splints?, hand therapy ball exercises?), auxiliary eating spoon and fork? (stroke hemiplegia rehabilitation training) comfort grips cutlery? (great for parkinson / disabled, suffering with tremors and trembling hands etc), medical alert system solutions?, own phones for all employees? (more efficiency / more safety), electric armchairs (more comfort), ergotherapy? (useful + less loneliness! + caution: corona!), water dispensers (less dehydration) (+ caution: edema / pulmonary edema / other diseases etc.), outdoor corner sofa + table? (garden, terrace / + all weather proof) + electric awning?, lighting solutions? + cool floor / garden lamps? (solar?, waterproof), teamwork + helping each other? (+ watchfulness, attentiveness, helpfulness, care, + honesty, accuracy, + giving helpful tips / hints, + politeness, being thankful, being focused), + preventing back injuries? (employees! / patients) (lift and carry properly. (+ teamwork? / use tools and aids?) + gymnastic exercises for a strong back?, (+ protect (treat carefully) your joints, elbows, kneecaps etc! + your nerves!), + energy and resource saving concepts?, tasty / healthy food? (+ additional: instant soups?, ready meals?, canned foods? for hungry employees / night shift etc), (+ vegan cooking books? give it a try? at home?) + other improvements, beautifications, more safety, comfort etc. + spreading good mood? (less sadness etc) (+ please be careful: corona!)
You want a Georgia peach or the other kind? Trump's has both up for offer
mmmm peach cobbler... turn me into a peach gobbler..
@@technoraver99 man, if you think the comment section of KZhead is a place to further your cause, you need some serious help...don’t meant to be rude here, just being realistic
@@norezenable Nah, he's saving that other peach for his prison buddy, Ivanov
The bathroom story is ridiculous, I know rich people are out of touch & I'm honestly not surprised they wouldn't want to share a bathroom with poor people, but common these people are guarding your lives, really? REALLY? You made them drive a mile away to take a dump?
This aged well.
"A band that can play Uptown Funk whether you want them to or not" YES omg, that is 100% of the weddings I have worked
I love Stephen doing Eric. It’s so hilarious!
I absolutely adore Evie's giggle off camera 💖
"I assumed he would leave"... oh, Stephen, you should've known better
Sounds like Rudy Giuliani is finally getting to understand something that practically everyone else who's done work for Donald Trump has experienced - not getting paid (yes, personally experienced this multiple times).
My word Trump is disgusting..
What was your job?
More than once ! Why go back?
Just ask pretty much every construction company that’s ever worked on his shitty hotels
meth real what the ex president rinsed you proof please ?
I think I enjoy the camera man trying to suppress his laughter in the background more than a laugh track lol
And Evie!
This is the best Stephen Colbert monologue in a while - and that is saying something. Perhaps it's the references to sea shanties? Look out, Miles O'Brien, you've got competition!
don't apologize for that sea shanty bit between you and I assume your producer... I love those unscripted bits that happen naturally they are awesome and one reason I love watching
They see the secret service as "The Help" and they need their own bathroom.
You advocate for a society where the only wealthy people are in the government. Everyone else is equal - equally poor. You stupid peasant.
@@allnoyz7895 So now I get it, 'Equal Society' means a society where the rich people are equally rich.
@@allnoyz7895 he didn't say anything of the sort.
@@allnoyz7895 Wait is that not what we have? 1% owning 40% of wealth. Lobbying being legal. And no term limits for congress.
@@allnoyz7895 It never fails to blow my mind that right wingers keep describing the present reality as a warning about the future evils of left wing policy. Have you really no awareness at all?
Does anybody else miss the days when the biggest controversy about the president was his tan suit?
or the grey poupon on his burger...
*when all the media reported was his tan suit. Trump is guilty of plenty of crimes but don't stick your head in the sand to the rest. Dem or rep.
No, 'cause that was ridiculous.
Love the suit
or when the most horrible thing the president did was stain an interns dress.
Thankfully there's a sea shanty playlist on spotify!
Wow, i loved the "Lethal Weapon" reference.
"I assumed he would leave." Don't jinx it, Stephen!
Not to worry
@@mja91352 oh geez, why didn't i think of that
He will either "leave", or be escorted out by the military.
Sea shanty lovers: “Our time has come!”
Soon may the wellerman come!! To give us sugar and tea and rum!!
I will not lie me down, this rain a-raging I will not lie me down in such a storm And if this night be unblessed, I shall not take my rest Until we reach another shore
There once was a ship that put to sea and the name of the ship was Billy of tea!
Can somebody explain the sea shanty riff please?
Oh the work was hard and the wages low. Leave her Johnny, Leave her. I guess its time for us to go And its time for us to leave her. Leave her Johnny, leave her, Oh leave her Johnny, leave her. Oh the voyage is done and the winds don't blow And it's time for us to leave her.
Hey Dad...Where ya going dad...LMFAO! Best impression ever
Dammit Stephen Colbert!!! I was listening to your show and editing my videos and you did Eric!!! I just started laughing knowing the teeth were coming!!! Now I have to stop editing to come here and talk and watch hehehehe!!!
I simply can NEVER get enough of that Eric Trump impression. I wish someone made a compilation. It’s the best thing Stephen does!
I'm having trouble breathing at the "Ooops, all cousins" joke.
I'll finish the job: it's on there TWICE
Who knew Rudy liked Alabama porn. At least it wasn't "Oops, All Sisters!"
@@darkstorminc nah everyone knows he got a thing for cousins... he did marry his
@@Sem5626 so did Kevin Bacon
I think Stephen hoking with the camera people really adds to the show its really fun
"I assumed he would leave." Lol
So Javanka won't let Secret Service relieve themselves in their bathrooms? That's kinda risky. The next time shots are fired, Secret service may conveniently duck out of the way, instead of standing on the bullet's path.
or maybe all of the SS will need a bathroom break at the same time, leaving no one guarding the 2 filthy gremlins.
@@markmac2206 Be careful how your use that acronym, it has two VERY different meanings.
@@neekonmorad9466 I was like "what, I did Nazi that coming"
That says a lot about them
“Now that’s what I call the foul harvest of America’s racist past “ - very nice stevens writing team
if you look closer, you can tell Stephen has ONE WRITER who is SUPER-clever.....and the rest not so much. Most are silly like Brian Stack.
Agreed
What do we call those riots last summer? We call them the voices of the unheard!
More like Rome.
@@jeremyedge890 whomever broke the law then went to jail. Same will happen this time.
Living on 25% likes what a joke
Yah, those sea shanties are pretty addicting. Good on you Stephen for getting on the boat ;)
How he's not behind bars already is fascinating to everyone.
Why do you want Stephen Colbert behind bars?
@@BTsMusicChannel they meant Trump.
Isn't fascinating, it's just disgusting.
More disturning than fascinating, and I am not even American.
@@BTsMusicChannel Treason against the public. He's right up there wit cnn, msnbc etc.
I laughed so freaking hard when they were referred to the couple that was summoned by a haunted music box!!
"People let me tell ya bout my BEEEEST friend...". Lol that's a flashback for me
Is anyone surprised the grifter stiffed Rudy?
Wow, he's alone in the White House, stuck with his 2 douchey kids, no more Twitter, rallies, and everyone's leaving him? Could Trump acually face... consequences? I'm starting to let myself hope a little bit.
Don't. He's juked the system like a pro running back
I hope so. That would restore my faith in humanity.
Where is Pompeo? 😀 he promised that Trump would continue administration. Height of Irresponsibility!.
I really doubt it.
Mike When he gets hit in the pocketbook more And, dragged to courts with no fifth ammendment bc he pardoned himself Oh, yeaH