The surprising science of happiness | Dan Gilbert
www.ted.com Dan Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, challenges the idea that we'll be miserable if we don't get what we want. Our "psychological immune system" lets us feel truly happy even when things don't go as planned.
TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes. Featured speakers have included Al Gore on climate change, Philippe Starck on design, Jill Bolte Taylor on observing her own stroke, Nicholas Negroponte on One Laptop per Child, Jane Goodall on chimpanzees, Bill Gates on malaria and mosquitoes, Pattie Maes on the "Sixth Sense" wearable tech, and "Lost" producer JJ Abrams on the allure of mystery. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, development and the arts. Closed captions and translated subtitles in a variety of languages are now available on TED.com, at www.ted.com/translate
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Well, I'm paraplegic since before birth, and believe it or not, I'm perfectly happy! Yes!
I believe it
:) So does happiness mean peace and stability?
@@riverdeep399 yes... the excitement you feel from happiness never lasts. Over time, happiness is simply the absence of unhappiness.
Happiness is appreciating what you have. Everything else is a cherry on top. Not needed but a little extra treat. JDvorak9000 thanks for reminding us to be greatful with what we have. ❤
Happy for you!
"You ain't gonna get out of life alive, so while you're here you might as well have a good time." - Les Brown
Leap...
omg
omg
This has been a message supporting serial killers.
Thanks for that!
Who's here after reading "MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS"
I think the key to happiness is keeping your choices open, taking a calculated decision to the best of ability and letting go once the decision has been made. I can truly say that I am happy most of the time because I don't second-guess my decisions. Also when I know I made a bad decision I just accept it and try to look forward to enjoying what I have.
This is the simple beggar mentality - enjoy what I have. You enjoy the little of what you have because you are perhaps just simple and to ask more would be silly.
Exactly. Everytime I make a bad decision. I am happy that I learned from from it! 🙂
@@michaelshannon9169 This is true for beggars and rich people. Look at Bill Gates, divorce. Jeff Bezos, divorce, Elon Musk, divorces. Are they more happy than middle class this way?
@@michaelshannon9169 beggar mentality vs creator mentality
@@farrel_ra tell me you watch KZhead influencers without telling me u watch KZhead influencers
This is going to sound stupid but from my short time on earth I've gathered that the happiest people are those that don't focus on their happiness but much rather others.
giving not taking... makes sense every thing I read on how to be happy says focus on giving and being grateful
+iRuiz FiftyFive True, you come from the mindset of abundance while giving.
KingOfAllLamas yope, everyday above ground is a good day!
doesn't sound stupid to me at me :)
“Happiness is having something to love. Greater happiness is when that something is everything. Happiness should not be a goal, rather it is a result of a life well lived. A life well lived is a life well loved. A life well loved is a life where you are one with All. That is, you are a part of All, and All is a part of you. Happiness is a byproduct of the process of increasing the quality of your consciousness." Love is about other - whether it is about other persons or other everything makes no difference - love maintains the same quality. How far you spread it (how much you give deeply and broadly) is limited only by the size and quality of your personal reality (quality of your consciousness).” ~ Tom Campbell
“Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of one’s desires, but by the removal of desire.”
Ahh see. Someone gets it. Thank You.
If you remove all desire you are left with nothing... no desire to get out of bed, or to help someone else, or even feed yourself, ( which is rare in the USA). and people would be running around saying (whatever whatever whatevvveeeer) in a real depressed voice. just lower expectations a little and not take things personally.
@@Rogerabushh Roger is dumb.
@@johnwright8405 sometimes
John Wright is dumb and rude
Lesson to learn here: don't wait too long by trying to do the very best decision you can make for your path in life. Take your time to think about the best way to fulfill your life's purpose. Then act and don't get stuck in the decision. Because the decision you really make will make you happier than the other choices you had. Don't overthink and wait until it's too late. Take your time. Make a real decision and go for that way a 100%. The lesson from this video and thousands of people's evidence is: that way will make you happy! Because it's YOUR way. The way you choose over others. Go for it!
I suppose that's truth about making choices. But how on earth do I find out "my purpose"? I suppose I could experiment more with interests.
Wow! Here is another resource about happiness that can also benefit you: kzhead.info/sun/hbiqqZFwqKWff58/bejne.html
Stoicism.
What makes you come up with this lesson? I think his point is that you can synthesise your happiness as long as you have few options. So you can make up your happiness. If so, whats the point of striving for anything to find happiness. Just synthesise happiness in your mind.
LIZ EDION wow! Here’s another religious bullshit
Your right, I find joy just watching people having fun. The secret of happiness finally to be revealed. Nothing out there in the world can bring you happiness , happiness comes from your own heart.
An interesting speech on how happiness comes from choosing (and not from having choices).
subscribe me
+Marwa Shalabi no
Choosing (I couldn't watch to end so no idea of his punch-line = if there is one, ALL too punchy throughout) from 2 options decided by others neither of which is suitable for my NEEDS? Beggars can't be choosers - but (you say) we're 'happy' to be given the choice of whether the ROCK or the HARD PLACE? Ha ha: choosing from NO choices? ha ha ha ha ha. happy happy happy?
Universal paradox: Free to choose. But Not Free from the Consequence of Choice. Think about it.
To choose is to be engaged in a goal or under tension. To have chosen is to have put something behind and accepted.
Came here from book called Master your emotions and I didn't regretted it.
Same
Same
Amazing! So glad I watched this! Made my night, I was having a horrible night where I was, as usual, blowing up the difference between the good and bad choices in my life. But this video changed my view. Perhaps when we have too much control of our life's circumstances, we worry about the consequences of our actions a lot more and that causes unhappiness and self-doubt but when we let life take its course, we find acceptance and peace of mind. One of the best Ted talks in my opinion.
Every few months or so, I watch this video again! And man, it always makes me feel better!
It reminds me of something I watched regarding the negative correlation between the amount of choices you have and satisfaction. Everything ties together so brilliantly.
source. sounds like pillocjk
@@comdrive3865 It might be the talk "The Paradox of Choice" -- Barry Schwartz
I read his book "Stumbling on Happiness" in my 20s and the point that stuck with me from it is that we're not all that different from others, and if you ask someone about how a certain life decision made them feel that you're also thinking of undertaking (essentially, your future self, but in another person), how they evaluate their decision is probably how you'll evaluate yours 20 years in the future. This has saved from from some awful situations.
when I worry about making a choice and fear regretting it, I eventually always realize that neither outcome will make me as happy as playing video games anyway. true happiness
This is simply amazing...thank you for this. I knew that happiness is a choice but i never quite seemed to understand how to control it. I would stumble every time i made an effort but now i see that i'm just thinking too hard about it. It is what it is, and it's beautiful.
The reverse of this: you can manufacture depression by always thinking negatively and or always looking for the worst possible outcome
Nah, some ppl are drawn an awful hand in life. Done.
Such a great speech indeed. Happiness, like unhappiness, IS a choice. Nonetheless, the speaker pointed out that having a choice (the picture print experiment) could lead to unhappiness, and then he seemed to stop there (correct me if I'm wrong). I'd add one more thing to that: a better way for happiness is not just to choose to be happy, but also to choose to be happy (or at the very least just content) about choices you have made (thus choice becomes another tool for happiness). One important remark here is that achieving happiness or being content with things should never ever mean that we have peaked and that we need to stop (pursuing whatever it is we pursue). Humans could never have reached the magnificence of the 21st century if they were happy with what they had and just stopped there! Long story short: 1- Choose to be happy. 2- Choose to be happy about your choices. 3- Don't make happiness stop you from pursuing greater happiness or achievement.
i am happy but i have been depressed its not a choice. it is 100% neurochemical
no@@furybeast68
One of, if not the best and most helpful (to me at least) TED talks I have seen yet. Thank you very much for sharing your insights. I truly appreciate it.
I like the way that Dan Gilbert has put forward his presentation. Firstly to keep the audience involved with his speech he cracks some jokes so that the audience is not only present physically but mentally as well. Secondly to support his written data he has provided enough of statistical graphs and data to convey the meaning of happiness. And finally the difference of synthetic happiness against the actual or real happiness is put forward on point. According to me the actual happiness gives a much satisfying result or content feeling as compared to synthetic happiness. To me time and decision is inversely proportional to each other. The more time you spend on a decision the more you critics or hate the decision later. Happiness is like a “first come first served dish”, and I bet the first decision you make will never be regretted in your life later.
Think about it this way guys, here's a quote from another brilliant man. "The primary cause of unhappiness is not the situation, but the thought about it" You can be the awareness behind your thoughts and emotions which results in always being happy if you have a well sustained control in this ability of using your consciousness
Well, It's true!!!
Yeah. If you constantly look for reasons to be unhappy. You will find reasons.
He covered that toward the end
One of the best, if not the best talks on TED. Absolutely great!
TED USED TO BE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is such wonderful information for everyone! Thank you for sharing this.
This as always been one of my favorite TED talks
One of the best TED talks!!!! Using philosophies from this for a TED talk I have on "What If Money Didn't Matter?" for my class at MSU. Great stuff!!!
Thank you for this fantastic 21 minute lecture. Amazing research and information. Thank you so much for sharing! Howard Farran DDS, MBA
This is the most enlightening TED talk i've watched so far, and I've seen quite a few. THank you for this talk ;D
Thank you, what valuable information! I am so heartbroken right now, I didn't think I could ever recover. Love rejection, you know... Now I know I will.
Speechless. Amazingly good presentation. Thought-provoking ideas. Thank You TED!
Probably my favourite TED talk yet. Definitely going to buy this dudes book. :)))
Great talk! Indeed, happiness is not something that only can be found, but more importantly, it is something that we can create within ourselves.
Im glad I was able to watch this video. It made more really think about how happiness can take a huge role in someone's life and output.
What a great message this video contains. I've recently been debating between two similar career paths. One pays over twice as much and carries more prestige, while the other fits more with my life vision. After watching this video, I think I'm that much closer to making a decision now :) Thank you Dan Gilbert for your research and presentation!
take the money
@@Deeznuts-hx1xg yeah lmao, i dont think its in any way wise not to take the money, especially given what kind of world we live in
@@VulcanFlamma Incredible how two people can completely miss every single point of a twenty minute talk-minutes after watching it.
Update us please, you think you make the right decision?
@@johannes-diederik2538 saying that wealth and the freedom that comes with it can't be use as a tool for happiness, it's as biases as saying that working in what you love won't make you happier
Wow ! This gives me even more conviction in the theory that a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience but only thru 1 ) Experimentation or 2 ) Third party sources of knowledge like books , talks et al . Thank you Dan Gilbert ! You rock . You convey deep information in an entertaining way - a very rare skill !
let me complete that : a huge amount of critical knowledge can NEVER be gained by 1 ) insight & 2 ) experience 3 ) introspection & 4 ) anecdote - Dharmendra Rai , Mind Map Trainer
this is by far the best Ted talk ive ever seen, this truly is the secret to happiness
Amazing talk. Really glad I watched this. Thank you Dan Gilbert 😊
An interesting perspective. Happiness needs to be self-start and not depend on anyone outside.
I can't belive i heard what i needed to hear right in the moment i needed to hear it
that was good. just what I needed to hear thanks ted talks and dan gilbert!
Definitely my favorite ted talk, probably the best speech I’ve seen. It’s just brilliant, and answered so many of my questions.
I don't have TV. I was listening to Freakanomics on NPR. They did a piece on Prudential Insurance commercials. I've lived in a mini van for over 2 years. Now after listening to Dan Gilbert I'm gonna see all of North & Central America in my van.
Short version: "Avoid the feeling of regret."
21 minutes best summarized. This video was way too long winded.
thank you
You are awesome.
Fascinating. It lends cred to the power of suggestion too and meditations on acceptance.
Those experiments really have surprising and interesting results. I have learned a lot from this, thank you!
Very interesting comparison and well said.. you are so right there are so many of us depressed, unhappy and suffer depression.. Recently a young man jumped from 16 floor killed himself due depression.. This incident had huge impact on my soul I thought i had to do something to help those are unhappy or suffering so after intensive research I came up with 50 ways to happines and started posting them on KZhead.. I truly appreciate this type of work because 1 million commit suicide according to world health organization every year.. keep it up.
This video makes me feel a lot less guilty about my plans to enslave the rest of humanity. I kid, I kid!! Great video :)
You make my pee pee go DADOING DOING DOING!
pssst. i hav a plan. mail me.
Lmao.. that would just be alot to take on. Ever play The Sims? And think "stupid freaking Sims they don't do anything right when I give them free will.?"
nice goal
White supremacisty has already did that
Extremely well though out concepts. It validates the beliefs we know from experience.
Everything works out for the good. When a door closes, a window opens definitely with more possibilities. You'll never know how it could have turned out if you were not diverted, how worse it could have been than how successfull you are now since the change- assuming you have a" positive and winning mindset" whatever curve ball life will throw at you. I love the phrase "manufacture your own experience". Thanks for a great insight!
good god i wanna speak like that guy !!!
Fahim Ahmed try to say one sentence that guy said in the speech, and then expand on it with your own thoughts :)
Donde se admitiera minutos y horas☺🔫💀 sobre
I promise you, the secret to happiness is gratitude. Gratitude could be one manifestation of synthetic happiness, yes?? Gratitude rather than bitterness? It really is free will. Happiness really is a choice. Which means I create my own happiness -- not that my happiness depends on some kind of good luck or gift of fate. Gratitude or bitterness. Simple as that.
Sylvia Woods I totally agree with you on gratitude thank you
Does it help with depression?
Wow, powerful, powerful insight. I'm grateful to have found this.
I am very impressed with this man. He makes some incredible points. With that being said, this was not an easy talk to follow. I couldn't find a connecting point within this lecture.
I'm in love with the vibes this man is sending!
NeverStoppedSinging - then try Alan Watts
I recently realised that happiness is a choice. I'm 40 years old. I don't know if I'm dumb or just that I missed it somewhere lol
Im in my 40s. Never had a happy life. Am still miserable.
This guy is great, love his presentation style.
great, now I have an essay reflecting on this topic!
This absolutely blew my mind; so happy...or am I?!
I'm disappointed I watched this video but I'm sure the next one I watch will bring me happiness.
I think being content with what you have and have a sense of acceptance is the key to true happiness.
Very interesting talk!! This is one of those I'll listen to multiple times!
this helped sooo much :D
To me, this video just means to keep an open mind and now we think that happiness is just success and money but real happiness is not supposed to keep us on our feet and make us hard workers. We must not depend on happiness. So don't depend on happiness and be it and create it.
I'm frequently having second thaughts about my choices in life with respect to studies, career, social life, love, etc. Sure, in the context of a casual conversation I usually say I'm happy with my choices to maintain character or make good impression, but in reality I'm often ambivalent or unhappy with my choices, especially since they are indeed irreversible. Simulated happyness is a gift.
My cousin: fiddle player at a bar. Poor as dirt, always singing, so cheerful to be with. My old boss: a millionaire, miserable, unhappy guy. insults people, no friends.
HVYMETL I assume they were that way from the day that they were born?
this is logic. yr cousin is doing what he likes and doesn't care for so called material succes and doesn't care what people think of his financial state (or so called succes)yr old boss has waisted his life doing stuff he doesn't like to get appraisel from people who don't mean anything to him.
So one is popular and happy, the other lonely and unhappy. That's not surprising in any way.
Would still rather be rich than broke
the old boss sounds like T-rump
10:41 I chose number 4 and synthesized some sadness! I feel so productive!! :D
Watching this video helped me understand why dating sites do not work. I’ve been thinking hard about this problem for some time and I believe This is nailing it right on the head!
Very very well spoken. Entertaining and yet very deep.
Those who experience great tragedy have the contrast to experience great happiness. Happiness is a mentality, how you decide to process experiences - not the experience itself. This is basic self-awareness; 'enlightenment' is the term - if you're religious. Sadly is really not something you can teach others, the experience of understanding yourself, bootstrapping... is a journey you must seek out, as only you know the way. If you are always reaching for help, then you are not in a position to help others; to be a positive force in this world. Help yourself first and foremost, relinquish your unnecessary dependence, stand on your own two feet and understand what this talk is actually about. Then you will be able to take those values, and the success you have earned through that journey and use it to help others.
+Blank _____ Well said. And wise. Old person or old soul.
In Dans own words. "Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, and synthetic happiness is what we make when we don’t get what we wanted." When we are left no other option and cannot reverse our decision, then we make synthetic happiness. And synthetic happiness is just as satisfying as natural happiness. I can understand this. Decisions that can be reversed make us think about it, until it no longer can be reversed. Decisions that cannot be reversed right from the start? We accept it and move forward.
Thanks for the great points about happiness!
You are great. Thanks for being you!
Life changing!!!! ❤️
Interesting, I've been doing this my whole life, and I do think I'm happier than others.
Great lecture. Great concept. Excellent !!! Thanks for posting.
5:00 Loving how well prepared he is until that little stare at the computer screen when he said "unlike sir Thomas, YOU SEEM NOT TO KNOW IT." 😂
I agree reaper he was over doing it to where I lost interst.
I think the abundance of the modern world create overwhelming array of choices. Choice we see as a right: to choose your identity, to choose among the myriad spaghetti sauces in the supermarket, to choose your career. In some ways this choice benefits us, but often it overwhelms. I never look at the menu at a restaurant because it will cause me to question whether or not I'll be happy going with what I came in for. In this way choice is a luxury not enjoyed by a majority of the people around the world. Sometimes it's better to just accept what life gives you and make the best of it.
In the context of the TED talk I just heard, about the importance of the views of indigenous peoples in vulnerable habitats and how their lifestyles should be influencing our sense of responsibility towards conserving our environment, this talk has proved to be in complete agreement.
Thanks for this moment of happiness!
Word 'self delusion' comes to mind... Contentment vs Happiness also comes to mind. I'd like to see the same test done on Buddhist Monks (whose ethos so to speak is 'to be free of all attachments) .... What would the results be?
I don't understand why people are saying they would prefer natural happiness over synthetic happiness. 1) happiness is happiness. If you are happy, you have happiness. You don't think about whether or not your happiness is synthetic. 2) the whole point of this guys research is showing that we think we know what we would prefer even though our choices make little or even the unexpected, difference. Yet people in these comments are straight away choosing what they think would make them most happy. Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?
Try this thought experiment. Think about the ugliest, fattest girl you could ever imagine. Then imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with her. Nobody would ever think about marrying an ugly girl right? But say they invented a pill that makes you fall in love with ugly girls. Would you feel comfortable taking it?
+Jerry Kim Why not?
Jerry Kim sure, why not? as long as it doesn't affect my health in a bad way, its fine. it's not doing anything wrong. the mind is the mind. the past few years i have been chasing various dreams and goals and they have been falling flat, making me exhausted and miserable. lately ive been getting into meditation and reading a lot of self help books, and i feel much happier than before, even though im working a crappy job and we have no money. my younger self would have said im faking it. i dont know about that, but i know im happy right now
I guess people apply here same logic as when they choose between natural food and modified/synthetic food. Which is of course not a very good idea.
I think it would benefit you if you actually read the study yourself. understand what ignorance is in a globalizing world and find solutions yourself. if someone is truly happy, by rational choice and understanding, although most of the time, any discovery usually leads to more questions. I think the guy is trying to make everyone happy and by showing skepticism towards that, it might show something that you have yet to discover. I do support a you and everyone else here for more introspection. I don't know you, only you know yourself the most. from everyday stimuli that forms who you are and genetics as well. so be happy. good luck. may the force be with u
fantastic talk, really enjoyed that!
cool talk, so many people out there looking for somebody or something else to make them happy and its all really up to the individual and what they do in their head.
My brain must be wired differently. I'm only truly happy when I get everything I want. Having choices is also nice.
Man, this guy speaks so fast non-stop and won't leave the audience enough time to process what he's saying...
Great reminder of one important way to find happiness, thanks.
Oh my god, I'm having a crisis in my life right now about where to move. I have the option of staying where I am in Hawaii, going to my hometown in Vegas or living with some friends in Reno. I'm totally unenthusiastic about my choices and I'm only really dwelling on the negatives of all of them. I gave myself too much freedom to choose, too much opportunity and now all these great options suck! Thanks for the clarity TED
"You find a way to be happy with what's happened."
happiness is just a state of mind, if you want happy, and you are happy !
Wow, life changing stuff and amazing speaker!
Wow - this is SO brilliant.
Intelligence is subjective, happiness is an emotion to often confused with a concept
Happiness is real and it starts from within. A heart always filled with gratitude (from within) will always reflect happiness and joy outside, on the face. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be thankful to the universe, nature, the supreme being, whatever and whoever you call him or her.
Brilliant lecture! Reminded me of a classic example between two small twins. If the older one had to choose between 2 toys (and the younger one gets the other) the older child will often want to change their choice after they made it. I've got 2 young cousins who do this all the time haha.
Insightful and educational! Great talk!
He says that "synthetic happiness" is as real and enduring as "natural happiness", but he's wrong - it's WAAAAY more real and enduring. "Natural happiness" is completely dependent on external circumstances, is fleeting, and doesn't really qualify as happiness at all. I'd call it ego satisfaction: what about you?
I agree with you @Bethany Hunt.
Totally agree. For example, sometimes you think you want something badly because, maybe, someone else has it. And you put your time and effort to acieve it just to realize,that the thing you got didn't make you any happier.
Alexey Bogdanov I wonder. Are we all just moving to have what we think we want? Or can we move to want something which the whole humanity might want, like good technology, and nice inspiration, and stuff?
Omega Point Singularity I think we stuck in between because modern marketing technologies are wery good at manipulating our true wishes, replacing them with things they want us to buy. To get to know ourselves and the World better we need better education, that they also are taking away.
Alexey Bogdanov I think you described language. Language has enslaved all of humanity. "Buy some Jesus, get heaven for free!". Virtual reality gives us a real chance to recreate language, and make it better so that we can understand better. It might make it all better.
Be happy with this, whatever this is, because it's scientifically proven that we can be as happy with this as we could be with any other path.
+Julius Fawcett Deep. Like a tap stuck in the open position!
There must be a waiting list to take this professor's classes. He's great.
this is a re upload of one of the best ted talks done
The grass is always greener on the other side... SO DON'T LOOK!