Why Is No One Having Sex? - Alex DatePsych
Alex DatePsych is a Neuroscience and Behavioural Science researcher whose focus work focuses on attractiveness and dating.
We are in a new age of sexlessness. It could be that right now, the human race is having less sex than ever before. Given the rise of dating apps, the sexual revolution and hormonal birth control, how is this happening?
Expect to learn what the science says about whether girls find it creepy to be approached, whether dating is harder for young men now than in the past, why women's sexual desire declines at twice the rate of mens' in marriages, why there is a PUA to Incel Pipeline, if it's true that women's standards have risen over the last few decades, whether inceldom is all about looks and much more...
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#dating #relationships #sex
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00:00 Intro
01:31 How to Approach Women Without Feeling Creepy
16:19 What is Causing the Rise in Sexless Men?
22:32 The Rising Standards of Women
27:34 Does Being Single for a Long Time Impact Happiness?
31:42 What It’s Like to Be in the Top 20% of Men on Dating Apps
36:40 Are Attractive Women Having More or Less Sex?
46:44 What Guys Get Wrong About What Women Find Attractive
58:12 The Origins of Inceldom
1:08:09 Do Men Really Want to Cheat?
1:16:03 Decline in Sexual Desire over Length of Relationship
1:23:42 Why People Accuse Alex of Pro-Feminist Dating Views
1:29:42 Where to Find Alex
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Hello you beauties. Enjoy this one! Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:31 How to Approach Women Without Feeling Creepy 16:19 What is Causing the Rise in Sexless Men? 22:32 The Rising Standards of Women 27:34 Does Being Single for a Long Time Impact Happiness? 31:42 What It’s Like to Be in the Top 20% of Men on Dating Apps 36:40 Are Attractive Women Having More or Less Sex? 46:44 What Guys Get Wrong About What Women Find Attractive 58:12 The Origins of Inceldom 1:08:09 Do Men Really Want to Cheat? 1:16:03 Decline in Sexual Desire over Length of Relationship 1:23:42 Why People Accuse Alex of Pro-Feminist Dating Views 1:29:42 Where to Find Alex
A lot of the women aren’t pretty or nice that’s your answer you’d have a real good conversation with Arron clarey on this and the economics as well
How can a man be qualified enough to talk about the reasons people aren’t having sex, yet dumb and ignorant enough not shave off the reason that he’s not having sex
Ngl my brethren. I come from a different generation where no matter what ranking of physical attractiveness (P.A.) you were, you found a person who was on the PA level as you and therefore you were at minimum having it every several months or having it with a person either on a weekly or monthly basis. 📅 It’s interesting how that still stands at my age (undisclosed Bc I still get told I don’t look anywhere close to my age), but I must say it’s definitely the new times of things, mixed with Gen Z and up. But will not hide the fact that it’s just the new ZEITGEIST of times where less men are having sex. 😢 At my age now what I do is follow the KZheads:📌 1.) stay in shape 2.) stay lean and toned 3.) think about my wardrobe and the psychology of it 4.) understand seduction 5.) take care of my skin and teeth 6.) watch scientific KZheads and ones like this to keep up on the latest trends… I seem to be doing okay with dating women who anywhere between 2 to 8 years YOUNGER than me. Also I you might add that I have life experience. And not just as a resume thing, more like, put me in a room alone and I can survive as if I was the US Army’s Special Forces 🇺🇸 But brothers it’s sad these days and all I want is my gentlemen, young and old to WIN WIN WIN no matter what 🏆 It’s a tough world for any man! I want to be here to support you 🤜🏾💙🤛🏻
Creepy just means not attractive. They want to be approached by Chad.
when you say "Why Is No One Having Sex", I would like to hear what percentages of men are virgins and what percentages of women are virgins
It's crazy that 20+ years ago it was considered taboo and weird to date someone from online; fast forward to now, it's considered taboo and weird to street approach.
Tinder and online dating are still not socially accepted in Eastern Europe. Most girls avoid it as a means of finding a serious partner and prefer to be approached in real life. However, the old rule still applies - if you are attractive, approaching someone in public may be acceptable, but if not, it may be seen as creepy.
I think most people consider both taboo and weird. Most people meet in what is considered warm approach environments and in particular, closed social groups. I personally believe that the loneliness crisis we have are people who lack a closed social group to be a part of and subsequently base their assumptions entirely on online dating. Noting from a recent study, someone (retweeted by Alex) calculated the percentage of single people using online dating is only nine per cent. That's not a typo, that is nine per cent. Meaning ninety one percent did not use online dating.
The only people who consider online dating bad/evil whatever are short/poor men and fat/old/bad looking women.
@@throwacnt7603lol
@@artofmybody2882 Glad you enjoyed it. :) By the way you must be a VERY open person. Your channel is incredibly varied with all kinds of wacky stuff. Pretty cool, best of luck.
“Approaching women isn’t creepy. Approaching women whilst ugly is creepy”
I think a lot of the commentary around creepiness, particularly around the Gym Creep debate as of late is the presence of unattractive men in their presence.
@@tgheretfordI wouldn’t even give them that. The “gym creep” phenomenon is an unabashed self-promotion project meant to convey 1. “I go to the gym” 2. “I get so much attention from men that it’s become a burden” 3. “My ideology must be correct, because I am conveying that this is a regular occurrence”. Then they ask you to ignore the obvious irony of attention whoring by complaining about the tenuous attention they receive.
Unfortunatly not true, otherwise id have boatloads of women, i look amazing i work in tv and modelling, i also creep women out because i am autistic and have very low self esteem, its lack of confidence and lack of pick up skills that make you creepy.
@@mcpartridgeboy "pick up" is a myth, I hate to break it to you. There are many videos proving if you are not an attractive guy or not tall enough, women will reject you no matter how good your "game" is. "Game" is nothing more "Looks". Pick up is something to make ugly short men believe they have hope, when in reality it's over for them. If you really are THAT good looking, you'd never have a problem with women. Maybe RELATIONSHIP wise you'd struggle, but not for getting laid.
@@94champs thats not true at all. Look at Jayz and look at Beyonce. Man looks like a human hash brown but still got her. Don't hold on to this 'looks' belief to protect yourself. Go out there and get rejected. Failure isn't about getting knocked down. Its about staying down.
"as long as you're not violating any major social norms, it's ok to approach" But actually approaching has BECOME a major social norm violation
I think a lot of people feel this
just go full mgtow monk.
@@ayanned MGTOW IS CREEPY.. THEY CHANGED IT TO INCEL BECAUSE THEY JUST CANT LEAVE US ALONE.. I HEAR GIRLS TALKING LIKE 5 FEET AWAY AND THEY ARE LITERALLY ALWAYS PUTTING YOU DOWN.. THEY LITERALLY CANNOT STOP TALKING AND THEYRE ALWAYS SAYING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT SOMEONE.. GIRLS ARE WEIRD DUDE.. THEYLL SAY THINGS LIKE UM YOURE GETTING TOO CLOSE THERE.. ITS ALWAYS SHAME..
sucks for the people who think its a violation
Yeah. People under 25 don't date in any other way except apps.
I have been married for over thirty years. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship. I cannot imagine dating today. For guys, it is like dancing in a minefield.
You didn't spend your boyhood and young years in front of a screen playing videogames or watching p-r-n, becoming socially awkward and unhealthy like they do these days and I bet you rose to the challenges and responsibilities of marriage like a true man.
What’s your advice for single people who want to get married & do it right?
@@beac8238 go to church.🔥💯
@@Autonomous15 why would I get advice from single people when my intention is to have a wonderful marriage?
Congrats. Most if not all married men i know are miserable beyond belief.
Bro looks 25 and 45 at the same time but I really like what he is saying.
Idk why but he's reminding me of Gary Oldman in the 5th element 🤣
Bro should get phd in rizzology and help a brother out to get laid
Then he is obviously 35 years old
@@channyngtatum9231 probably got a minor in yuppieology too
If he shaves it will get even more confusing😅😅
Thanks for having me on the show, loved our chat!
finally, someone who is smart about this and can take in multiple studies and make an overall arching narrative. People just don't have as much sex since health went down so much in the last 20-40years and testosterone too. For the exact opposite look what happens everytime you put young healthy fit people together, they run out of condoms. The Olympics i mean
Hey glad to see you here I'm an early subscriber from thinking.ape. keep it up my man !
What's with the OG CRT Monitor in the back, you in a museum?
Keep on growing chadistician!
This blew my mind. Before this, I thought of you as a “bro.” I thought you were like a 27 year old grad student(I know u from Twitter). Now I see you as a sir, at least I think so. Looking good for your age man, whatever it is.
For men dating it's like applying for a job with 1-2 dozen applicants, for women it's like online shopping.
Exactly.... But us for women shopping on line with unlimited credit or even bonus of every guy they catch 😛
There's nothing worth buying
Yeah but marrige is a bit moore even. Not saying it is easy, but most girls dreams about marriage and guys not soo much.
@@wyleecoyotee4252because you keep picking chads that do nothing but pump and dump
Sure, there's tons of merchandise online, but 99.9% of it isn't what we need. Like Alanis Morrisette said: *_"It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife."_*
“Worry about the divorce down the line.” That’s good advice .😂
This is the main reason for Marriage decline. We saw what are wicked cold hearted mothers did to our fathers in court. And now we are that age we would rather jump off a cliff than get married. End no fault divorce, automatic paternity testing upon birth, fix the family courts to not immediately rule in favor of the woman, and how about tax credits for being married, buying land or homes.
@@JRock3091 Well said. Having seen my mother drag my father through the divorce courts followed by both my sisters doing the same thing multiple times to ex-husbands, why the hell would I willingly expose myself to the same treatment. It's been said before; the problem isn't that a woman WILL do this, the problem is that they CAN!
more like suicide they arent getting laid or married to begin with
@JRock3091 I love both my parents but my mom did the same to my father , long after were over the age of 18 , my mother went after my dad for child support in court , and almost nailed him to the coffin , I held a lot of resentment for my mom for a long time for that, especially since it was years after me and my brother , were adults and no longer living with her , she never had a thought about it until someone brought it up to her . Marriage for men is such a massive gamble I'm not willing to take that chance to have some woman nail my ass to the wall if im not good enough for her.
Being confident helps, but many guys have been rejected so many times, they can't even half fake confidence. It's like a miserable person trying to smile. The most they can do is distort their face.
They're Jordan Peterson's lobster.
Telling men to be confident approaching women is like telling investors to be rich when buying stocks.
it's always been like that. People have to be brave. That's the problem. Every age has many meds too afraid to make the move. Even in the 80s and nineties people thought it was weird to walk up to people you don't know and try to date them. IS it creepy? Maybe humans are creepy. I used to find girlfriends in line ups and buses. I never saw other people talking up girls;s unless they were somehow introduced. Why wait for that if you have free will though? Dating apps are like asking the devil to help you with dating. Why ask a machine? Sometimes attraction is something that can't be communicated through technology. We're losing our humanity.
@@bigneiltoo damn, I’m stealing that one!
@@bigneiltooI think the importance of confidence is not so much about the other person but more about who u r and how u feel about yourself
There is no way I will ever be convinced that online dating is nothing more than desperate people flipping thru a catalogue of product. That is not human. It's a livestock auction.
most of human history had no dating. marriage was a business contract and matchmakers arranged things.
@@genmaicha.lapsang All kinds of things happened in history. We've moved on for better and for worse. Today, right now and this very minute I declare livestock. I hope this also goes down in history.
Online dating is for borderline desperate men, and for women who are bored/boring.
To be honest, I only use tinder and similar products when on business trips/visiting parents or friends. No way I will spend half my time in some bar with awful music. It pans out like 1 time out of 3, but I don't sweat it - it's an unnecessary treat, a bonus to an already quite balanced and cheerful life. As to the people who actually see these apps as a lifeline to deep long-lasting relationships - can't feel nothing but sorrow for them, it's not the way to live, especially given how aware the app creators are about their target audience's desperation.
@@sergeymyasnikov736 I hope your explanation makes perfect sense to you. I don't feel good about using other humans as a treat even if they're willing to be used as such. We all have different standards and ways of thinking about the more intimate aspects of life. I guess that's to be expected from the human race. One of my biggest fears is to get hooked up with somebody who feels the need to hide their past, such as somebody who might have used other humans as a treat. I think most people who use dating apps would fall into that category.
The work avenue has already been cut off completely. When you criminalize (legally or by company policy) getting rejected, no man is going to take the risk of even appearing to be interested in a woman at work. The entire sexual harassment idea has been so overblown it's actually ridiculous. A man could ask a woman out one time, get rejected, and never speak of it again and still get accused of creating a hostile environment for her. And the accusation is enough, there needs to be no proof or motive, as long as the "victim" feels victimized, you are guilty.
There is a simple way for men to approach women without being creepy: Become a mind reader to know if she finds you attractive.
OMG! Why did I never think of this?!
Literal genius. And as we all know, telepathy is something extremely easy and quick to learn. Why didn't I think of that? *smacks forehead* D'oy!
femaIe Iogic.
Ngl imo, if a women likes you, she’ll make it quite obvious that she does
@@DriftErovER if men went by women's vague choosing signals only, the human race would literally go extinct.
Dating got way harder compared to 10 or 15 years ago. One of the main reasons that almost no one seems to talk about is the way men are represented in the media nowadays. In movies, shows, television and also in songs men in general are depicted as disgusting, unfaithful, stupid and weak. That definitely has an effect on the dating market. Women got super picky and cautious. I remember seeing a lot of close dancing and kissing couples in clubs and bars 5 to 10 years ago (pre metoo and covid era), but that has become very rare nowadays.
I'm 50 and I completely agree that dating is way harder and weirder nowadays than it was before. And while you're right that men are portrayed in a far worse light than before, women are also portrayed unflattering as well. Basically the two genders are more at "war" with each other than ever before. It makes dating a lot trickier, antagonistic and a lot more unpleasant than before.
That is a really solid point. I didn’t think of this but I believe you have reached a new layer of this subject.
I see lots and lots of men-men and women-women kissing, close dancing these days!YEAH, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!😉
Based.
and the hateful online comments, the pervy dms ... the unsolicited d pics.. the abuse we get when we say no to someone. when we see how men really are we just stay away from them. isnt that only natural ? why would we engage with most guys since they are so full of hate and unaccomplished sexual desires. a certain type of guy is going to be chronically unhappy no matter what because they didnt find their place in the world.
On the topic of men not wanting to come across as creepy, this also comes from guys knowing that simply giving a woman attention she doesn't want can be enough to creep her out. I've been out to nightclubs with friends and had some 50 year old woman trying to grind against me. Receiving unwanted attention is weird and can be really creepy. A lot of guys would hate to know that they made a woman feel creeped out or grossed out so a lot just don't even bother
I agree, men could be struggling with approaching women in a day and age where women do not owe them anything. I think dating clubs, cafes and lounges are a great idea. Here in my city there's a rising number of places that are intended for single people to go and find other single people. It's different because you're meant to go completely alone. The whole purpose of the place is meeting new people and they actually do fun activities that help people break the ice. Maybe if we create spaces specifically designed for approaching the other sex, women would feel safer because they know what they are going for. Not to say there cannot be creepy behavior, men would also have to learn how to approach better.
@@danielamortegui6426 i love how it's men that have to do better, and not women. ( women in a day and age where women do not owe them anything) - Women believe they don't owe men anything, but they believe men owe them money (paying for the dates) for their time. It isn't worth it, if women aren't going to step up and actually offer something, men are not going to commit to you. Your comment is only addressing one side of the issue for women but you have mentioned absolutely nothing to help solve the issue for men. Men are actively staying single, they aren't having kids and they aren't marrying. They are putting in zero effort because the juice is not worth the squeeze.
@@jayc342009 I agree with you that men shouldn't have to pay for the first date. That's why I think we should get rid of the idea of men as the "providers". Both men a women can provide, don't you think so?
@@danielamortegui6426 most couples do require 2 incomes yes, but a lot of women do still require men to pay for the dates and make more income than they do.
@@jayc342009 I mean, I'm not debating the fact that a majority or a significant amount of women expect the man to pay for dinner and make more money than them. My point is that such expectations are related to an out-dated idea of gender roles that we should get rid of. What do you think?
I believe a good chunk of men are weighing the risk of having a potentially good date vs potentially getting falsely accused of something that would ruin the rest of their lives and opting out of the dating pool as a result
Just stay away from feminists and you'll be ok
Its sad because women are terrified of men physically harming them when most men will never hurt anyone. And men are becoming terrified of women ruining their lives with accusations or what have you when most women would never do that. There's a disconnect and we really need to fix it at some point
hoesntly as a young 30 year old, keeping to myself has been more rewarding in modern society than bothering with the instability of a relationship. sure it can get a bit hollow at times, but i put this down to a spiritual problem more than a partner problem.
Hoesntly or honestly? Or kind of a Freudian slip? Or, all 3?? 🤔😆
Disregard heauxs, acquire wealth.
especially when you factor in the legal risk of a partner in divorce, not every girl would but every girl could
I'm 45. I'm married 18 years. But your guest glossed over so many points, especially hookup culture and how many women who are a 5 will step over a man who's a 7 just to have a chance with an 8 on these apps. This isn't some PEW research crap either, this is direct from my daughter, neices, nephews ,friends kids. All between 17 and 23. You can site all the papers you want but as a father and Uncle I know this is disingenuous data reading.
I agree 100%, i have a long distance relationship with a Filipina and i actually like having space and time by myself.
Modern dating if far harder for the majority of men. Nothing seems to be enough and women rarely make an effort.
As if its easier for women! Its nothing but hot and cold and comittment phobes - little boys who do nothing but pleasure seeking. If you make a move as a woman he'll try to use you cause you're easy prey. If anything its just caused a rift between men AND women. Its shit for the lot of us.
@BaronessStrange I can hazard men you are going for are commitment phobes as they have options with other women. There are many good men out there just lacking a bit of confidence that get completely overlooked, there are so many men out there that are completely ignored and overlooked just for lacking a bit of status.
@@rjflores438 You'd like to think that but I find (I live in the low income south so you know the environment) is I see women daring guys that don't even look very good and don't have any assets BUT he will still cheat if he can. The idea that a man who is a 4 or 5 is going to be so grateful he's got a wkman that he won't cheat on her just doesn't seem to be the case. A man may have 50 woman within 50 miles that would smash him or he might only have 2 or 3. It only takes one to cheat.
@@Opal5674 Here in CA is complete opposite. Maybe some of your southern women might want to come down here to CA and give our entitled CA woman some competition. Plenty of high income earner but single man here who would love that. We having a saying here, it's easier to have a income of 150k+ a year than finding girlfriend. Although alot of us are leaving CA for arizona or texas though.
@@peiershen8221 Ya I'm definitely not going to Cali because I like freedom and little government intervention in my life but come over here to Tennessee and buy some land and get some chickens and goats and I'll work for you.
I was at a bar and smiling while watching the game. The female bartender was acting very uncomfortable and asked me what I was smiling about and she knew what I was doing, she said, stop it now. Are you uncomfortable because I'm feeling happy? You need to check yourself.😅😮😂
You'd assume most behaviour would be water off a duck's back for her. Unless it was aggressive or physical. That's bizarre.
I believe you encountered a nutjob.
Next time tell the bar owner to fire her or you’ll call every city number and report his business for selling to underage people. Quickest way for their liquor license to be reviewed. They will not want any of that.
@@blahblah2779 No, don't be dishonest.
Next time tell her not to flatter herself
I’m an introverted and shy person. I met my husband at church but we began dating bec he would organize co-ed softball games on Sunday afternoons He would invite all his friends on Social Media After a couple Sundays being on the same team we began liking each other. 7yrs later we’re married taking our son to softball games
If some girl told me that they are single because no one has been good enough that is the que to immediately check out and make sure you never run into them again
Sounds like you're afraid of failure 😂
@@terrorists-are-among-us if they claim no one is good enough that's an indicator that they would be very likely to keep trying to find someone else. It's not about failure it's about not wasting the effort on them.
@@terrorists-are-among-us lol wtf, this is no different than women who say "teehee, you must be intimidated" when a guy is like "you're not a likeable person, I'm not interested".
@@wades623 more like, waste time on you 😂🤡
@@orneryoverwatch7031 "I need a desperate girl or I have no chance" 😂
Physical attraction and Status are Priority #1 when it comes to even get women interested
Competency and connection for the win every time.
You anyone men or women wants to have sex with someone they are not physically attracted to?
@@SamStone1964 To have a chance to build the connection you need to be attractive in somehow.
@@Portugal.history Yes attracted to each other.
True. Hence why I procreated and created my family with an European man. He fit my wants in a partner. He was/is an intelligent and successful financially and extremely attractive(my Dad said you had to think about your offspring's looks).
😂😂😂 I love the first studies, 85% of women find men creepy but 85% of women want men to approach. I mean we get it, they don't want us ugly ones near them.
Right there with you dawg. Right there with you.
Do you guys like ugly girls? Would you date one?
Opt for a yellow Labrador Retreiver. They love ❤️ sandwiches and will fetch one out of the fridge for you on command. Plus they never have to put on their make up. Man's best friend for a reason.
@@quantumpotential7639 spoken like someone who has never heard about basic human needs.
It’s a woman today on IG say many men are predators which is based on known research and isn’t true lol.
I'm in my 60s and have been single for the last 10 years and have never felt better.. in fact I love being single . I have 2 other single friends that are lonely and depressed about being single but then again I have many friends that are married and also lonely which is even worse ..
So its NOT just me?! Well that's kind of a relief I'm not gonna lie lmao. But at very least I'm grown male focused on creating my best possible version with big goals and dating is not top of priorities right now. Interesting times we live in people.
Clinical times
@@JeffCaplan313 *end of times
I thought the same. I thought there was something wrong with me after starting over in dating 7 years ago. This online dating crap was making me depressed… so i got rid of all dating apps, learned about intersexual dynamics with Rollo Tomassi’s books and others, and figured out why women are the way they are, what they are into in general and how men could become better men. Now i date from time to time but women are no longer the focus of my life.
Amen brother. Rough time. 8 years depressed and anxious, eeking Orthodox Christianity which has helped, but right now I'd say try to become your own man. Be goal driven, find your dream and try to execute that dream. Kill self pleasure in ourselves. Find discipline, even spiritual discipline is very very important. Whenever my life is in chaos or I'm just too depressed to do anything, I simply get on my computer and try to produce music. I always say, if nothing happens today, I at least want to write a tune. Ill look back and have fond memories instead of regret. Most devastating feeling is regret. Something I'm desperately trying to avoid. It sucks not being able to find traditional quality women that will UNDERSTAND that men have feelings too.
If you want the benefits of dating, we have to level up.
I haven't bothered trying to date for years now. It just feels like an unnecessary chore. People are so unreliable and the uncertainty and trauma from trying to connect with unreliable people makes the risk not worth it. Especially for those of us who tend to over-invest in everything. I suspect many people including myself get enough interpersonal connection via work, friends and the internet to satisfy that general need.
@@croissants1280 no. I'm not the horniest person around so that probably also helps. I'm a female btw, for context. I know I'm not the target demo for this video but it resonates with me
@@croissants1280 Please. Fleshlights exist.
I know de feeling of having enough connection but still feel like I'm missing something.
This. MANY "people" (ie whamin) are perfidious, selfish, lost f00ls. They are self-destructive and aimless. You cause your own suffering when you deal with those types---and they are LEGION.
Why are you watching this video then my guy? Lol
This guy's channel is very underrated. He makes long videos, but they are very interesting, and he has a cool style of explanation.
There also better *because* they’re long. You can only get into good details and good info with a longer time spent. Whether that’s researching something, listening to this, reading, etc That’s not a bug, that’s a feature. That isn’t a negative and the fact that people’s attention spans are apparently so dismal that they can’t listen to something that’s long form is the problem.
Yeah I had to have the conversation with my teenage twin boys. Today's rules: 1.) If you wish to go to a party where potential partners in your age group are going to be present. Zero alcohol/drugs, etc. Leads to terrible decisions. 2.) If you wish to talk/flirt with a potential partner. First simply approach them and tell them you find them attractive and would they be down to talking with you. If they react in anything but a positive way. Walk away immediately and write them off.... permanently. 3.) Never be alone with a female until and unless she has initiated physical affection with you in public. 4.) Once you go to university stay focused on school and do NOT engage with a potential partner from the same school until you have left university. 5.) If you wish to engage in sexual congress with a potential partner. Get his/her consent and agreement in writing. Are these utterly horrible rules? Oh yes without question. Are they ABSOLUTELY necessary in 2023 if you are a male? Oh yes without question. Sucks for this generation. The irony is they would never have been born if their mother and I had followed these rules.
The sex robots are just going to win. Convenience always does.
I never found congress to be sexy.
Graduated from University in 1979. WHAT! Of course university was for studying, but it was also for meeting new people, partying, joining clubs, hanging out, making new friends, dating, and perhaps meeting your future spouse.
Watching this dude, I can't help but think he's trying to make a deal with me. Anyone else get the same feeling?
He's a great fiddle player, which makes me trust him and his contracts implicitly.
@@namenamington 😂
He has some interesting art for sale
The GOAT
Dude, I felt the same thing. Like this is gentle encouragement.
The idea of "wait until you get divorced and railed by the family court system BEFORE you guard yourself against it" makes no sense. That was a weird turn there in the middle of this discussion. Why get insurance until AFTER you get in a wreck? Bloody hell.
The only happy couple I've ever seen in my fifty years of life were my parents (and grandparents). I see no other happily married people, even amongst my parents siblings.
I didn't even see that. Even my grandparents sort of just co-existed and while it wasn't a trainwreck of a marriage or anything like that, it also wasn't a happy one.
The dating world is so strange and twisted. The idea of ever having to date again terrifies me. Everybody out here playing games instead of being genuine and seeing where it goes without judging or prejudice.
Go to Thailand and try again😎
At the end it is mentioned that when you are 18 you should not be worried that you might lose your house….because you do not own anything. Just a minute later they discuss that the environment/relatives might impact you…e.g. if your parents were divorced you are more likely to get divorced. Is this fear in young people natural result of growing up with high number of parents going through a divorce? Have we traumatised our younger generation (especially guys seeing impact on fathers) ????
I would personally say the number one reason I don't date was my mother. So, I think it is a reality. I don't know how widespread it is, though and I'm not 18 anymore.
My parents divorce made me think I would never marry as a teen. My parents but especially my mom were always screaming at one another and us if we crossed their path, they seemed to h a t e family life and it was an utterly miserable childhood. When I moved out and went to university I was so depressed I ended up needing a psychiatrist and meds to function. Eventually I worked out my mental health and then I met my husband spring break of my freshman year. I was afraid still but I took the leap because I fell in love. Our relationship looks nothing like my parents and even 13 years later, we don't fight and scream and are still very much in love. I think my parents relationship taught me what not to do. I know for instance that a femnist mindset in a marriage is doom. To respect my husband, and I believe that if you disrespect you lose respect. Also that someone has to lead, and because I don't want to, that means I have to follow. Otherwise we'll always be butting heads over decisions like my parents did. I learned to spend money wisely (another thing my parents fought about was my mother's bad spending habits). To swallow your pride and apologize. I could go on but you get the picture I think. I know the statistics aren't good on people from divorced parents but because of how my parents divorce impacted me I am determined to NEVER divorce and my husband feels the same way. We will do everything to keep our relationship healthy and so far it's working for us.
@@TheManWithNoName6 Can you tone it down? I actually found this post quite interesting (as a man) and I don't think this mgtow mindset is very healthy. It's basically the same thing like with feminists. And, hey, believe me, I've been there thinking about a world without women but men have their issues too, as every DOTA lobby proves.
I chose not to get married when why parents' marriage was still intact. I saw no incentive to get married because most of my friends had divorced parents. I saw no point in loading 3 rounds and playing Russian roulette.
My ex husband comes from a broken family, where father was too selfish so my ex’s mother left him. We married while he thought he wanted a family, but some years after he started craving for single life again, thinking he’s not made to be a father, and is not even sure he wants kids. I thought it was me, but it might just be him. He is a man who has not learned how to be a proper family man.
I think it's great that younger people are not drinking. Putting their health first is a great idea. And it's a waste of money and has no benefit to the human body.
I was thinking the same thing, "are you glorifying the drinking 90's?". The aspect of social media that people get to know each other at a strictly platonic level first is helpful. Although the thought that all your conversations are online and there is a forever history of everything , maybe not so much.
The problem is is that it is emblematic of them not taking risks. If you don’t take risks in life you will end up a broke loser with no women.
It has more to do with money than health! Drinking a lot of booze costs a small fortune!
People are busy, people are feeling ugly, people are broke, people are insecure, and people are pessimistic because it feels like everything is going wrong When people aren't doing well or as well as they would want to in their own personal lives, they are less likely to get involved in the personal lives of others.
Wholeheartedly agree. Why play a rigged game.
I'm what you'd call a celibate MGTOW. I don't date, have sex, or pursue relationships with women. I'm not an incel since I'm attractive, fit, educated, well off, and don't have (I don't think) major personality flaws. I'm not perfect, but if I put my mind to it I could hook up, I could date, I could probably get a relationship. In fact, I've had many short-term relationships, a few long-term relationships where marriage was on the table, and my fair share of flings and hookups. So, I CHOOSE to be celibate. Honestly, it's been so long that I've been off the market and things have changed so much that I'm not really sure how I'd fare. I'm not keen on internet dating though I've done it a little in the past, and asking someone out cold that I didn't already know hasn't ever been my thing. The problem is, society, women, feminists, most psychology professionals who study this, many "blue pill" men, and even some in the manosphere don't know and don't want to know why it is people take my route. They'd rather invent attributes, scenarios, and motivations a la straw men rather than genuinely find out. I'll tell you straight up why I don't - it's too risky. Every relationship I've had ended badly, except for one that was more mutual. Badly meaning hard feelings and me ending up on the short end of the stick emotionally, financially, life situation, and psychologically. I've been lucky enough not to have been accused of anything untoward, but I think it's because I was extraordinarily careful. So, I've been burned, badly, so much so that it's altered my life in significantly negative ways that I've never been able to recover from. I've also been hashed to shreds in family court - it played out in such a cliche way that hundreds of thousands of men would be able to identify with it, because the family courts are heavily skewed in favor of women. I've also been badly sexually harassed at work by women who primarily were interested in me, mostly married women believe it or not, and when things didn't go their way they made my professional life a living hell. Had all that happened 10 years later, I probably would have been summarily fired and my career ruined, because of MeToo. I never did anything bad, just tried my best to gently reject, yes, their sexual harassment. Since MeToo and the common culture believe that it's men who harass and women are victims, and no one takes female on male sexual harassment seriously, I just had to live with it. The managers involved did the best they could, but HR and senior management weren't interested in hearing my side of things. The ONLY thing that saved me were saved emails and text messages proving my innocence. Again, if it were 10 years later they'd have fired me just to avoid the appearance of an issue. I also am well aware of the countless horror stories of other men when it came to women and relationships, completely innocent men utterly destroyed. It's just too risky. Men face real-world ruination. If it were just a matter of bruised egos and hurt feelings, I could live with that. As it is, innocent men all over are falsely accused or completely turned inside out by family courts, or even in prison. Women face no such issues. Sure, there are decent women out there, but every relationship I've been in started out thinking I was with a decent woman. Most of them turned out to be far from it. Any one of them could have made my life 100x worse, if again it were only a few years later. But, trying to sort out the decent women from the good ones is an impossible task, and every woman we date is a crap shoot. We have NO idea what's really going on in her mind, what kind of person she is, what she might be like in 1 year, or 5 years, or 20 years. All it takes is one to destroy a man's life, and society absolutely couldn't care less about that man. You want to know why many, if not most, men don't date, or are very reluctant to do so? Try talking to them. Have long conversations with MGTOW, not the freshly minted ones, but ones who have been one for a while. Most men may not be MGTOWs, but MGTOWs can articulate what most men feel about it. I have yet to see any real effort on this, because most people don't want to know. They'd rather just espouse how evil men are, or simply how cowardly men are for not "stepping up".
Dead on point. The worst is when you get married. You ain't see nothing until you do. It's a lose, lose situation. If it goes well, you suffer cause you are working harder to keep it going. And you'll die before her....anyhow If it goes bad, the blame is on you.. and you're ruined. I've been there for 20years of my active life
In your camp. If it needs a name, "VolCel". And it's not so much preference as a necessity (these days in the West).
^ OP You are an "Incel". (INtentionally CELibate). People try to use this term as an Insult. But the reality is, people are trash. Why spend your life pursuing people who don't give a rip about you. Except to father their child who's purpose is to be their lifestyle accessory. One for which You have to pay them bi-weekly for 18+ years for them to possess. It's tragic. But women buy the modern "feminist" lies without actually thinking them through.
26:35 the "boss babe" types getting confused and/or angry that after achieving financial and career success men don't find them particularly attractive are the female equivalent to male "nice guys". Both followed the advice society/culture gave them about what their potential future partners wanted. Both are upset they aren't receiving their due relationships after becoming what they thought they were supposed to become. Both have a hard time swallowing that they wasted their time modeling a mode of being that was ultimately distasteful to the opposite sex. Both are often indignant that the opposite sex doesn't find them attractive and often externalize the issue by indicating the real problem is with members of the opposite sex for not finding them attractive. The characters are different but the story beats are all the same.
So do I. Career women are "insins" (Involuntarily Single).
@MartialistKS I agree with you that women hate nice guys. I'm one of them. I used to try to change and be an "ahole" but I could never do it. I never liked it as I am good natured inherently. It sucks that men have to be jerks though to get women. And please don't say "It's not about being a jerk, it's about confidence" because I have always been confident. No, you literally have to be disrespectful and abusive for them to like you. If this is the kind of world we live in, I'll gladly let my family line end with me. I don't want to bring kids into this kind of world. At least what men dislike makes sense. Who wants to be around a masculine, bossy woman? You can't really blame men for being frustrated with women, especially in today's age of "only a 1% man is good enough for me" tinder age. Women do make very, VERY poor choices in men. That's why there are so many single mothers out there. Speaking to women, you can't pick a bad guy and then later complain about your life. You CHOSE it. I really don't want to hear about "biology" either because that's just an excuse for making poor life decisions. A child acts impulsively because she doesn't know better. You're not a child. No excuses.
I agree completely with this. My neighbor is a perfect example of this - she’s a 34 year old woman with a nice career but no man. I’ve tried getting her to understand that her career means nothing to men and I think she is finally understanding it but she’s pissed away prime years . But yes she was definitely lied to
Women aren’t successful to impress men. They do it for themselves. This is just an unfortunate side effect.
No woman picks a career with a man in mind lol she needs to eat and pay bills. Women don’t live their lives for men like men live their lives for women
(just my own experience) I was asking women around me (mostly married, 40sh, feminists) what situations they consider “appropriate” way to approach a women. my question was exactly if street, bars, gym, workplace, school etc all off limit, what is ok? unanimously they answered online dating…
I won’t go back to that till I’m In the best shape of my life. I had a bit of success 6-7 years ago but it was pretty exhausting too lots of weird women.
Perhaps asking the women how they met their husbands would have yielded more interesting insights?
@@AmeliaBodilia 10+ years ago? how would it be relevant? also, does it matter if they preach something else in loud voice?
Props to Chris for ending it where he did. It felt like Alex just dropped the mic and walked away like a boss
Finding love and making a family seems impossible at least for me. Everyone makes it seem so easy,but it feels like I wasn't meant to have this despite thinking about it alot. My future is uncertain right now.
Most people are unqualified to have kids. Only some of them know it.
Have faith. there is always hope
Honestly. Let go of the idea. I was also battling these thoughts, but I realised not all people will get a children anyways and that's OK. There's also alot of people who get children but shouldn't get them. Dont torment yourself that you lack something in life.
Get your passport and travel to South America. Dating is still easy and girls are more traditional. Your chances of finding a mate is 99.9 % in Latin countries. Most Latin women in all social classes are raised in a traditional ways. There is no playing mind games and approaching is a lot easier. The more you know about the culture in said country the more changes you have to meet Latin girls. Happy Hunting!!!
Stop crying! Get some money! Work out! Get your looks up! If you have a little dingy go to the doctor and get a pee pee extension. GO!
Incel here, it's brutal man. I've tried online dating apps and got literally zero matches. I'll do anywhere from 1-10 cold approaches throughout the week and have very little success, most women seem uncomfortable when I try to talk to them. I don't really have any friends and the few that I do have don't have female friends who are single either. I've tried night game at clubs/bars and most women I've encountered just want a free drink or they'll have a female friend drag her away from me. I try and put myself out there, but man I'm running out of ideas how dating is possible for someone like me.
Approach but be mostly friendly at first, then progressively flirtatious, don't overwhelm the women.
Are you doing all the usual stuff like gym, hygiene, dressing well? How old are you?
You say you don't have a friend group either. That's alarming. I think perhaps concentrate on making friends and having a social circle of friends and activities
It gets much easier later in life when the women outnumber the men. You should try older women.
@@Steve-mk6rq they only outnumber them from about 60 y.o.
You're not just dating the person anymore, it's the whole friend group, and follower count you're competing against.
And the "friend" group is just a bunch of rotten, envious trolls who cannot stand to see their "friend" happy with a man. They will poison her mind constantly with "He's not really very tall" or "He said THAT!?!?" over any little thing. They want to destroy each others' joy. They're literally wicked people.
@@Willie_Wahzoo nail on the head. Zero support for a relationship to last. It's always to tear it apart. Been in 3 different 6 year relationship's. Married the first two. Im guilty in my own rights, I wonder if a sandwich was all we really needed.
@@dragonrider9051 sandwiches are cheaper than ever thanks to all this female labor.
If a girl likes you she'll gives you hints, simple as that , otherwise just don't approach
do they even give else than cr@p ?!
I'm a 6 foot, 205 lb, muscular 22 year old male on a master's degree. I'm on a 5 month dry spell sexually and the amount of women who treat me like an option and are flat out disrespectful to me is mind-boggling. I go out to clubs, swipe on the dating apps, and cold approach all the time. I'm ready to quit. I'm done. They can come find me. I'm not emotional about this. I'm simply stating the truth.
it's become such a time investment for fuck all. really makes you wonder if all that time aint better spend doing other stuff lol
Hate to break it you man, but you’re probably just not good looking in the face department. 5 month dry spell, 6 foot, jacked, educated 22 y.o. That goes out to clubs is on dating apps and cold approaches? I don’t buy it. You’re either hideous in the face or doing something or saying something awfully wrong when you approach women.
Let them chase you!
@@GrosFred They never do. I'm simply forgotten.
The lack of sex is down to the internet, back in the day women dated only the people they physically met, in work, friends of friends etc now they're virtually shopping online and have less of a need to notice or interact with the men around them while men watch porn and if they're ejaculating all the time they also have no interest in the women around them
I have no interest in the women around me because they're sub-standard.
Women will always be more attracted to the men they actually talk to on a regular basis than some picture of a guy on dating apps. It's mostly promiscuous women who like dating apps. They give them the opportunity to sleep with men who would never give these women the time of day if they met them in person. That's the harsh truth of it.
You know I didn't really even think about the online shopping aspect of this dynamic. That's a great observation!
They only find 5-10 % of man attractive on tinder so a few are sleeping with all
@@frankriquelme4623 damn those handsome bastards
So much humility in the approach from both of these men. Cheers, gents.
22:30 yes, i can give an example of that. At work, this guy asked a girl out and she basically mobilized all their common friends against him labeling him as a stalker. Dude was isolated and had to change teams (came to mine) and still its observable how the group around her still controls him and whatever he does because their perception of him changed due to gossip. Trying to date at work its very risky and men are backing out of it. Now for people who dont use online dating and are not that much into social media, their dating market decreases exponentially if we nornalize the idea that asking someone out at work is creepy behavior.
People are broken because everyone believes wahmen
That's horrible. Such a scenario is a giant fear for many people. W0men are conditioned to say no to interaction that they haven't initiated, even if it's something that they want.
after breaking up with a coworker things got very awkward and my personal business was told to anyone who would listen to her. It destroyed every positive relationship I had made in that job
Well, you described the situation very briefly, so it is difficult to comment on it. 1. This is your (his) version. You weren't there when he asked her out, so you can't know what actually happened and what preceded the whole situation. 2. For objectivity, it would be quite useful to know her version as well. 3. Such personal things are always quite complicated, so finding an objective value is difficult even for professionals because a lot of information is based on feelings, not facts. 4. Personally, I'm not a fan of workplace dating, even though it might seem like a natural thing to do. Every relationship has its ups and downs and sometimes it falls apart. And these things are contagious - boosts lift the whole team's workplace with that typical enthusiastic energy, and it usually helps; teams are more productive, the atmosphere is more cheerful, (sometimes too much, lol), etc. But when the falls happen, OMG, run who can; it lowers the atmosphere in the whole workplace, so who needs that... That's why many companies have a policy (more or less strict) that solves these problems in some way and I'm not surprised.
@@xpsxps1339 1. Only the two of them were there, so yeah no one knows for sure. 2. What i can say is that the guy has always been respectful towards anyone in the company and never tried to bring the situation up or mobilize anyone against her. She, on the other hand mobilized a group of people against him and they all went spreading gossip around the company. I think this kind of shows each others natures. 4. What i can say is that HR interveened and she was relocated to another team and the guy is doing the exact same thing. Id speculate and say they cut the serpents head from the group to send a message. Even though they continue controlling him daily. Example: guy goes on a break, one of them goes immediately after. He goes for lunch, a group of them goes after and sits close to laugh out loud and stuff like that. The woman goes outside smoking and just a couple of minutes later their group goes after (putting an interval between to see if he goes after her). They've been asking people from my team (me included) to go the breaks right in front of him even though they never did in the past. These are clear provocatory and intimidatory tactics and i wonder how cornered he must feel. If he deserves it or not i cant tell, but im judging based on what ive seen. Its also quite clear they were never interested in listening to his side either. 5. Me neither and even less after i saw this.
The only quality dates I get with quality, attractive women are from me approaching them in public. It sounds scary, but it's really not. And it's never creepy for taking your shot. What's creepy is when you keep staring at a woman and never approach. What's creepy is when you're turning the conversation sexual within a minute. You'll build confidence and social skills by talking to women. When you begin feeling confident about yourself your body language will make someone feel comfortable, and what you're saying and feeling gets translated into a positive and authentic vibe. I can't do dating apps man. I don't take good pictures, I hate hitting on women over a text, I just feel like I'm trying to sell myself. It's just not for me. I prefer to connect with someone or get rejected to my face. That feeling of rejection sucks temporarily, but you learn to overcome it and you grow stronger from it. If you have a positive mindset, rejection and failure in life only pushes you to go further, to change your reality. Any great person will have a story of rejections and failures. And dating is no exception to this rule, it applies the same. However if you have a negative mindset, rejection and failure will only play into your mental narrative of "yup see I told you so, I knew this would happen". The first step is to change your mindset, nothing else can change until you do that first.
Underrated comment. Thank you, sir. You're a gem.
W comment
💯
You need to start coaching the red pilled incels.
A comment that makes us men proud. You, sir, deserve this 👏👏👏🏆
Chris, you are so effortlessly smart, and you might be my favourite podcast host, ever! You just effortlessly hold your own with your guest without being over the top and letting them speak and express their own as well. Well done man!
Are chads getting the majority of women on dating apps? The answer is yes. My friend is a chad, and women throw themselves at him every day. He goes on dates every weekend. EVERY weekend. It's gotten to a point where his phone is starting to stress him out
Bro this guy is full of bs.
I think the dude was cherry picking bad stats. The pew research data doesn't take into consideration the quality or really duration of the relationship. It was one of my biggest issues. 70% of people in relationships what does that mean? How many of those are marriages? How many of those are between 1-12 months old? There is a large difference between 70% of people being marriages for 5 years on average compared to dating for 6 months.
What is a chad?
@@reginasemenenko148 A really good-looking guy. It's the modern term for a "hunk" or a "stud".
@@reginasemenenko148 A good looking White guy. Tyrone is a good looking black guy.
basically it's impossible to have sex if you don't meet certain criteria. but at the same time you are surrounded with sexual messages. sex is everywhere... everywhere but in real life, for many. and the funnyest part is, that if you are a virgin, you are saw as a weirdo, at best, and a dangerous hating monster at worst. and it's not your fault, but it is at the same time. so you keep it for yourself, hyding your pain. and you do everything you can to hyde it. and it gets worse every time.
Meanwhile, it seems every woman over the age of 22 has a body count of over 20, making it all even worse. I feel you.
Yeah, no car and your out for a lot of people. I accept people have prioritized assets over personhood, but it shows in people's personalities. It repulses me, and my mentality disgusts others. The divide.
“It’s not your fault but it is your fault.” Doesn’t even make any sense.
Don't focus on how much bad luck you've had with women so far. Commit to personal goals, find a job you like, go to the gym get in shape, go buy a decent wardrobe and take care of your hygiene and discipline. You will certainly find a woman you like and this time she will want you
Melinda Gates was never a receptionist at MS, she was hired as a product manager (computer science degree and MBA). The 'take the afternoon off' line never happened.
I'm good with words and approach in person or online and know myself well . What I have experienced with dating over the last 5 years as a 50+ single guy is a joke. I'm so tired of it. And I was relationship for 30 years, so I know what deep communication is. I really feel for the younger guys and have no suggestions.
One advice: Pattaya, if 1000B doesn't solve your problem 1500B almost certainly will
Yeah. Go abroad and "geomaxx". That's the best suggestion I can give if the man can stomach living in a 3rd-world country where they speak a different language
After a certain age you become invisible to women. Almost have to go abroad for a chance these days
@@muzungu9625 Other countries should have this too
16 years ago I could get an online date. Nowadays, I can only get one in person. Tinder, Facebook, screwed the game up! Tho, today, I can get more _poon for my buck_ if I approach a lot of chicks my age.
It's worth noting that although many using apps want relationships, many of those tend to find apps not helpful in accomplishing this. Especially on Tinder. I don't remember all the datapoints, but essentially the conclusion is that those who get on them to find relationships often tend to quit after realizing that apps aren't really conducive to achieving this goal. Those who stay on them long term are using them for more for casual hookups. Also, there is a correlation between warm approaches creating more lasting relationships than cold approaches, and this is true regardless of the medium. Cold approaches include online dating and approaching a stranger offline, vs meeting through a friend on or offline. This is generally considered to be the case because with cold approaches we tend to eliminate people based on shallow things like looks more than we do when meeting through friends, where we get to know the person before writing them off, often because initially we may not be looking at them as a romantic possibility.
OMG, THIS conversation is good!!! Thank you for having this.
It seems like everyone ignores each other. People flirt these days, but we're all so nervous, we don't take it to the next level. Then it gets cold, and it's back to square one where the cycle of lonely repeats.
This makes me feel perso nally attacked... 😂
This is the single best episode you've ever done on Modern Wisdom Podcast. Thank you. Going to share to this almost everyone I know.
I approach women and I’d say 50/50 would say yes. Out of that half would land into a date. What I’ve noticed is women are able to read your energy and sincerity. When I’m not confident in myself or when my energy is low, no matter what I say, it won’t work. The reverse is true.
Real talk. It's not about what you say, it's all in the energy and behavior.
Can be as confident as you want - there's still a multitude of other factors you convienently brush off but whatever.
@@404nonexistent In other words, the confidence has to be warranted. There needs to be some congruency and continuity between the energy that predicates how you look, behave, dress, speak, move, express your masculinity, etc.
@@404nonexistent it may not even be about you at all…. Women are looking for any reason to reject you… (in general). While men are looking for any reason to accept her.
@@404nonexistent He said energy and sincerity.
Meeting through app has become a phenomenon because 1 girls find it easy to filter based on their preference 2 Girls practice Hypergamy open heartedly 3 Girls don't have to fear physical intimacy or aggresion 4 They can do SWOT analysis with extra time they've on apps 5 They've power to ghost someone without stating reason 6 Girls have become socially awkward 7 Girls could talk the most darkest thing on app with veil of anonymity 8 They can compare the man on app with men on other app 9 They can easily get partner for hook-up, get sugar daddies, its relatively tough to figure out someone's status irl. 10 They can remove the app and go complete hidden while when you meet someone in person , people actually know for a long time.
This is the greatest conversation on this topic I've ever seen.
I really appreciate you having datepych on! He brings a different perspective imo
Not really, this channel is almost exclusively a circlejerk with very few new ideas or disagreement
@@__-bz7wh you haven’t been watching much lately . Besides, we are in new territory now and new solutions are pretty difficult to come up with
@@__-bz7wh then why are you here? 🤦🏽♀️
Approaching as handsome = not creepy. Approaching as not handsome = creepy. There you have it.
As a girl I can tell you that is not true. A guy approaching is flattering. Guys that don't leave some personal bubble space but have to be touching or almost touching when we have just met you is creepy. A guy not taking no for an answer is creepy.
@@evj1326 actions over words
Approaching and not paying attention to boundaries is creepy regardless of looks.
@@evj1326 Actually, its all about matching expectations. Im a handsome guy by popular standards and from hudreths of more or less cold aproaches i made through the years you get the whole plethora of responses that are tied to how people view talking to strangers basically. For example some average or even ugly incel type of weman will be supposedly very offended or even triggerd if you try to talk to them cause basically they signed out and know they d get hurt emotionally if they d let themselves be persuaded. Then you got the ones that are in relationships, 50% of them will entertain you and give you their ear to pitch your story. Actually the ones that are in relationships flirt even more to instigate the approach just because they have a fail safe to lean on, eg the relationship. But still they are heavily open to bein persuaded. Then there are some which are relaxed about it and civil and available. You have to match their expectation broadly by being on their socio/economic level or above - depends on their own misconcived level of self worth it proportionaly gets tipped toward not being good enough if her own value in her own eyes is better. Mind you, its only about self perception since she doesn tknow you and is makind snap decision. MOST of the weman fall into the trap of seeking validation and supposedly being cheeky about being aproached and that is whole other drama which im not going into at and i try to stear away in interactions heavily. Then thers some which are offended just because they can be. This is some inside report from someone who played the field and seen the dnyamics first hand through large data sample.
@@evj1326 Oh, about flattering. And when they kind of tell you how great is that you have confidence to approach. Thats the ultimate power move. Its all about making the move seem as something extraordinary and in that sense her being valuable as extension of that action. Its basic reframing of a situation, and its meaningless and a backhended compliment at best . So in that sense it is flattering, but it has aboslutely nothing to do with the fact that you as the one approaching is doing the flattering. Meaming it should hold no value for you that it is falttering for her, since its not about you - end all be all!!
Fascinating guest who took time out from winning a Johnny Depo look-alone contest to drop some interesting knowledge on us!
It's so great actually seeing men speaking about these things seriously, and addressing these very real issues.
Married people have more sex than unmarried, and frankly marriage and family formation is the real issue, not sexlessness. You want to solve the sex problem, solve the marriage problem. Simple as.
Married people may very well be having more sex than singles men but that does not mean that the married couple are having more sex with their own spouse. We all know infidelity runs rampant in our society, plenty of stats out there on the subject, a woman almost always wants what other women have, not the single men that they assume are rejects because they happen to be single. Men that are with a woman or even simply wearing a wedding ring has a much higher probability of attracting women. Only the men that are truly devoted to higher morals and respect for themselves and their partner will always say no to any inapropriate advance of a good looking female or any for that matter. Too many marriages these days have declining sex together starting almost immediately to a point of little or no sex at all with their own partner but the neighbors across the hall have the same problem so they have sex with their neighbor because its new and exciting and risky and on and on. So most married men that arent getting it at home and even many that are getting it at home will jump at a woman that wants to have sex even if she isnt hot or cute or good looking at all. There are very few married men that wont go down that rabbit hole at some point in their marriage. And women as well. Women now are sluts plain and simple that compete with each other in who can attain the highest body count and the simps arent on their radar. The chads are the target and the girls will stand in line and wait their turn as they watch all the girls in front of them get him first or all at once and they are fine with that. The term for this behavior is called "Hypergamy". It used to be the guys that racked up high body counts compared to the woman at some low ratio, i say low because im not sure the exact numbers but for an example if the ratio was 8 to 1 over females body count back in the day to being flipped to females over males at an alarmingly higher percentage that could go as much as 1500 to 1 or none even. Those arent exact figures, just to show the gross difference and those arent far fetched or grossly exagerated, the actual numbers are that bad. It is sickening truthfully. Anybody that wants to be part of that body count has no respect for himself. Five or ten partners in a lifetime for a woman and you were considered a ho or slut or floozie, now if they dont have a thousand by the time they hit thirty they are laughed at by their peers and looked at as losers. Call me crazy but does anyone else see this as a problem for marriage, family, fidelity, trust, commitment issues, chad and tyrone and 4 of their buddies running a train on your wife when u are out working because that body count means absolutely nothing bad to younger generations. Its the new "norm". Sickening is an understatement.
Making prostitution legal everywhere would do alot for the sexual imbalance in society now because it would eliminate the power women hold over men therefor forcing the woman to walk the line and make herself a good catch instead of knowing she dont have to because she has you dangling on that hook because she holds the power of sex over you, if you could get a woman for sex on every corner for $25 or any price then its simply a matter if taking the path of least resistance. Now women have to earn your attention and be the loyal caring spouse that they should be in order to have the security you provide.
Yay, you made it on Alex, congratulations!! 🥳 Can’t wait to give this a watch after work ☺️
I love this guys voice/accentuation. I feel he can say “one does not simply….” really well
Love your podcast, agree with all your points. Gotta make a small correction though, Melinda gates started at Microsoft in product development as a marketing manager, not as a receptionist.
In a way we are lucky to get to watch the downfall of civilization. Not everyone gets that privilege, it only happens once every millennium or so. We might even get to see the extinction of humanity. Only happens once and we're here for it. Truly a blessing!
@@kc6810 Because people don't get kids and there will be way too many old people to care for. We see it in China and Japan, they are in real big trouble. And the rate they're going soon no one get kids. Same will be true in the West. The last part is just about AI. On the one hand it might make most people unemployed soon, on the other hand more people will choose to talk to AI only. And once "comfort robots" become a thing, even less people will have kids. A very small, probably religious, minority will always have kids, but that is meaningless when the social contract breaks down because the age imbalance is so huge. Unless we find a way to fix this age imbalance, we are in real trouble.
I doubt humanity will end our society will just get replaced by a better functioning society as far as reproduction goes. Of course climate change from 1st world countries and the like may ruin the earth before then.
@@Embassy_of_Jupiter Hardly a blessing. More like a disaster. But I keep thinking to what others have been saying - we might need a cataclysm to reset things a bit and wake humanity out of its stupor. This is just a THEORY, mind you. A world war would be just right, as long as not too many high-yield spicy mushroom clouds are on the horizon (at most single digits in the low kiloton range). Why? Because it would wipe out a lot of those that can't take care of themselves, those that no longer bring value to society or those that never did (the elderly, the terminally ill, vegetables on life support, various freaks on welfare, basement dwellers, some 4channers / redditors / twitteratti and so on). These people are a net drain, and there are too many of them. Because it would cause enough chaos, to the point where borders could be redrawn and the former order thrown down. It would also tear down the current social arrangements, most of which are defective and beyond saving. What I said was monstrous. What I said was awful. I admit that. But you must consider the possibility that it might be necessary, or unavoidable.
Thank you both for the very insightful interview!
Work ? Really dude ? Never date a coworker
This was an excellent interview. Thanks for sharing.
i just cant even keep up with all these amazing podcasts i want to watch/listen to. clearly, yours are on the top of the list. but you've also been a guest on other podcasts, which i also tend to give a listen. and sometimes even follow them as well if i find them interesting. dont get me wrong, i aint complaining. its amazing. keep up the absolutely brilliant work.
@@croissants1280 thats an unnecessarily agressive thing to say lol. how do you think i know it for a fact exactly? because me and my friends have run the experiment i mentioned countless times over the years. geez, if anyone needs to go outside its you XD
@@migah139 that's an unnecessarily aggressive thing to say. It is possible he has a point, it is important to be open to all sides in a debate so you don't come across as arrogant. Love.
Chris appearance on Tom Bilyeus show a week or so ago was very very good!
This is true. I have a friend who women gush over. He's a funny, extremely attractive guy and gets a pass for being very filthy. Many of these women are "taken". They love it when he flirts. Anybody else would get a restraining order. I think it's funny to watch the mental gymnastics.
Yea and try the same thing with pamela anderson and a fat girl. Your rambling post said about as much as the sky is blue. Stop crying about the competition and get to work or shut up.
Recently I realized an interesting reality about sex and the distribution of it between genders. The often talked about double standard of men getting respect for sex and women being demonized comes from the effort required to attain it. Behaviorally effort will always matter in respect to how we view anything. Did you make your millions or was it given to you? Until average men can get sex as easily as average woman, the double standard will absolutely exist. And unfortunately because of how different men and women are behaviorally, this will never happen. Even if it could some day, it's far from any of our life times.
I think our society was inappropriately and detrimentally conditioned (through many avenues) to over value that type of congress. Now we spend far too much time obsessing and dissecting it. Time and efforts that should be much better spent.
@@Darkness-ie2yl I don't mean to steelman you but unfortunately because this is a topic of behaviors, ideals or ought to be's just don't correlate to a meaningful discussion. As per an example behaviorally, the things that trigger a women's arousal vs a man's arousal are worlds apart, especially within the bound of "meaningful" encounters or relationships. Unfortunately this understanding requires experience to properly comprehend.
Makes my contributions no less truthful.
@@Darkness-ie2yl If I'm going to be charitable, I don't necessarily disagree with your assertion when appealing to ideals. Because even though I understand what I mentioned as unfortunate for most people. It would be disingenuous to disregard some of the biological reasons why it mattered in history. One being the concept of mate guarding. This concept protected everyone involved. But to speak further about this from a idealistic standpoint, do I wish body count didn't matter and men and women could attain sex as close to equally as possible? Absolutely.
@@monikagolab8892 I'm sorry but again, I'm forced to steelman. We have thousands of studies that prove we behaviorally respect things that require effort. And that is the entire crux of the OP. Your comment is that of ideals. Which is fine, but it's not an argument towards the OP. I think on a personal level promiscuity is an empty wasteland, even if objectively it's different for the genders with how we engage with it or how it effects us. So if you're looking for me to admit men who're promiscuous are engaging in damaging outcomes for society, I generally agree.
You guys did so good this episode! Showed some good perspectives and great points! I hope ppl watch this with an open mind and won’t be so quick to say something before they can try to understand. It’s unfortunate to regularly see complainers on your comment section for any video.
This guy is pretty spot on. Interesting to hear him draw the correlation between alcohol consumption and sexual activity. I’ve been saying for a long time that drinking is an integral part of the human mating ritual.
I love how alcohol makes woman more attractive!
@@allangilbert5865 yes. That’s definitely part of it. I imagine women get beer goggles too. I think one of the other aspects is it breaks down our inhibitions and gives men the confidence to approach women and make sexual advances without being awkwardly self conscious about it.
Alcohol was created to allow ugly women to get laid. 😂
@@darrenstettner5381 I can be falling down drunk and still be self conscious and awkward about approaching.
It also makes you hot topic on social media, with your drunk pictures being taken by someone.
Great conversation! I think it's hard for (young) men to do the right step while dating or even meeting someone. It always feels like a lose-lose situation for them. Modern ideology destroys human nature and leaves everyone behind, confused and lonely. Having Joey Swoll on your channel would be awesome.
I think the problem is the vast vast majority of women are never single nowadays
It really does just feel like a lose/lose situation. Women won't approach you, but you're creepy and gross for approaching women. And literally every time this is brought up, the response is 'don't be creepy', as though that definition changes entirely depending on how a woman is feeling at the time.
The best podcast Ive heard in a while. Very timely are important information. Cuts through a bunch of hateful information in our culture.
This guy puts way too much faith in what women say, versus what they do. And ain't no way people are using less drugs & alcohol than before. Weed everywhere and you can't even get a beer with less than 5% alcohol these days.
Great pod Chris thank you! I am a recent listener and I have to say that your podcast is now at the top of my list. I find the "decline in sexual desire" to be a fascinating topic/subject. It seems that there is a trend for alternative sexual outlets amongst the 40-50 year old's and it is not being discussed due to its taboo nature. The alternatives include, Polyamory, Swinging, Hotwife'ing, Cuckolding, Threesomes, Foursomes, and many more. Whether or not practicing one of these alternatives is within the moral code monogamy, it is happening on a larger scale than many care to to admit. I personally am not advocating for one of these outlets, but I can tell you without a doubt that there are a huge amount of people within the world from ALL walks of life who are definitely participating in this non-monogamous lifestyle. There is much more on the topic and it would be a pleasure to discuss more sometime. Thanks again man for finding your true self and sharing with the world!
Another good one from Chris. To everything that has been said and discussed in this podcast I would also add this simple idea that people come with a lot of bullshit and that these days there are more and more people who are not willing to put up with it. Which is partly why people are giving up on relationships and dating altogether.
Thanks for the great content, fella. It's got me down a whole bunch of rabbit holes, especially the evolutionary biology stuff. Also, it's got me a massive list of books to get through, which is never a bad thing! Keep on truckin', Chris!
The only thing I miss being married is cold approach. Rolling the damn dice is so much fun.
Melinda Gates was NOT a receptionist . She was in product development as a manager. Please don't do this minimizing.
Yeah, she was also married to a multibillionaire! Her "job" was probably mostly for tax deductions more than anything else.
She had that high-level job BEFORE she met Bill. That’s where she met him. Please don’t minimize.
So cool you got Littlefinger on your podcast way to go!
Chaos is a ladder
Knowledge is power!
The most fascinating MW interview I've listened to. Also i love how Alex is colour co-ordinated with his Christmas Tree.
so around 51 mins you told us that there are many sites that let you try different hairstyles and styles in general. could you help a brother out and tell me which ones? i really love your work, it is becoming my favorite podcast because subjects here can actually help me become better man.
Stop the hookup bullish!t. Be honest, friendly and focus on getting to know girls and make friends. As you get to know more girls the mystery will vanish and it will take your anxiety with it. Then, through the girls you know friends with you will meet a decent girl who wants to go out with you.
Yes the hookup idea demoralises and demotivates both men and women at least on a subconscious level turning them off dating
I’m 18 and have accepted my fate so now I’m just focusing on lifting weight doing good in college and finding a job after.
Get muscles and money, these women don’t like you as much as you like them. If you meet someone special while you’re working on your life in early ages, great. Happened to me once in college. But just work and stay focused. Cultivate power within yourself.
You are primarily responsible for your fate. Trust me so many people I know who were "popular" at 18 turned out to be duds and many who were nothings ended up killing it in every aspect of life. Believe and invest in yourself.
18? 🤦🏽♀️ You should be checking out 45-50! You’re just a baby
@@Nah-ah Not even then..
@@Nah-ah why should he waste his time on women? Dating, Relationships and Marriage are absolute scams for men.
Love that this guy's intro is so chill and keeps it real
He has a lot of outdated and completely wrong information. Sure he is chill, but he is out of touch with reality. He is operating on what it was like about 20 years ago.
What specifically is out of date? Not doubting you, just need clarification
@Thump Er the Sweaty Fat Guy where can i find this new research 🤔
@@burgertime434 nearly everything he says. He is a graduate student, which means the info on which he is basing his opinions is older than the classes he just finished taking. To put it in a mechanical analogy lets say you go to school to be a mechanic. While you are doing your four year grind the technology of cars advances. Currently there is a fast change going on, so the cars you work on in school are ten to fifteen years old, and share almost no technology with what is sitting on a dealer's lot. The newest thing he is asserting is what was happening back around 2016. He actually cites a study from 2001, which is the only one he puts a date on. The dynamics of interpersonal intimate relationships is changing rapidly right now. The trends that were starting to appear 20 years ago are growing exponentially now. It used to be that the ladies went for the top 20% of men, but now they want the top 1% of men. The tallest, best looking, and wealthiest. Everyone else is invisible or unattractive to them. Most of us are not afraid of being seen as creepy, we are afraid of the one we talk to either calling the legal system on us, or using society to bash us in the head. You can lose your job for saying hello now. He glosses right past that and misses the point entirely. I've been watching all of this play out since I took the time to learn how to read females back in 1985 by watching the girl who was on a date with me, drop me and go for a friend of mine. Only for her to come back a couple months later after her ONS with him. She wasn't the kind of girl you keep around long term, so I she made a very good subject to study. I started watching and learning about people and have gotten quite adept at it. I am in the top 20% of men, not because I am tall or wealthy, its a dominance and muscle thing, as well as they are not a priority for me, which makes them attracted to me. being the 19th or 20 percentile gives me an interesting perspective, because I can see what works, what doesn't and being able to read who she is into and what draws her to various men means I can make some conclusions about the dynamics over the years. In the US military I saw all of this play out 30 years ago on overseas bases. I am seeing the same patterns now in the civilian world, and I know where it goes. The majority of men stop interacting with them. All of us who were under 6' tall stopped interacting with military females, we went off base to have fun with them. Its a microcosm of human nature at work on a military base, particularly if you want to see the dynamics of females who are showered with attention and validation because there is about 300 of them on base and roughly 6000 men. They get so much attention that they start to think they are incredibly attractive, rather than they are simply available, and the only ones available that speak the same language. Online dating and social media has achieved the overseas base effect. Girls can get attention and validation, no matter what they look like, from millions of men all over the world. That dude will catch up to this effect in about 20 years, but it will still be couched in left ist thought which is rooted in female nature and of course sees females as the best rather than actually human like everyone else.
You regurgitate the red pill quite well. Sad.
I disagree with less alcohol consumption leading to sexlessness in men. I think it’s more connected to the rising awareness that dating women is an absolute minefield for men that could potentially lead to their total destruction, depending of course on the whims of the female they encounter.
Whats never said is that your relationship with yourself is the most important one. If one has no self love, positive habits and mental discipline everything else won’t work. Never had any understanding of relationships as my upbringing was abusive. I realized the best person for me is myself. Sometimes its a life long process for self improvement. Not everyone’s journey is the same.
The truth is this is the pendulum swinging the other way. In my generation women were emancipated. The problem is their kids weren't raised with the same values or self worth. Social media has turned our kids into narcissists. The 'modern women' movement has gone beyond empowerment and misogyny and has become a swing to far.
But it won't swing in our Lifetime :(
These to beta males just don't seem to understand that women saying men are creepy is largely women complaining about being approached/propositioned by men who they don't find attractive. A man that a woman finds attractive isn't judged by the same standard that a man who a woman does not find attractive. Sadly, a man that a woman find distinctly unattractive would be considered creepy just for gazing at the woman with a look of interest.
I am trying to concentrate on the podcast but the facial hair of this fella draws all the attention... Jokes aside, it was a truly informative episode
I'm constantly curious how you don't have more followers. Always having wonderful guests. Thank you
Oh, they will come. Like me, for example, I've only just now discovered Chris Williams. In a year or two, he'll be around 2 million subs I believe
740k followers is pretty good though and he’s growing by the day
On line dating is the most ridiculous thing in the world. No wonder no one is finding good relationships.
I just started back in college at 33. If I guess, I think he started in a more mature age in life. So this is encouraging.
Dating apps can be used for good if you focus on their effectiveness as a tool, not as an actual way to meet and date. Never ask a potential mate all of the usual questions through an app.... not even if you are using a video chat method. Too much room for error and miscommunication. You just can't effectively date someone through a screen. Instead, use a dating app to "locate" (not meet or get to know) someone you would want to date and then physically "meet" them in a public setting to see if there is compatibility. If they refuse to meet within a reasonable time (I say one week), they aren't worth your time.
Read the Book of Numbers by Aaron Clarey and then come back to me.
@@edenbreckhouse What's the premise we should know?
@@SamStone1964 book about every relevant statistic regarding the odds a man has of finding a successful relationship in a modern western country
quite reasonable, I agree
This is gold, well done 👌💯