How to Find Out What You Really Really Think and Why...
It’s one of the great paradoxes of mental life that we’re often unable to access our true feelings about important matters. We may settle, in haste or fear, on the most obvious answers. We ignore our deep truths first and foremost because we aren’t trained to solicit them.
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FURTHER READING
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“It’s one of the great paradoxes of mental life that we’re often unable to access our true feelings about important matters. What we really think about - for example - the character of a friend, or the next best move we should make in our career or our stance towards an incident in childhood… All of our conclusions on such critical topics can remain locked inside us, part of us but inaccessible to ordinary consciousness....”
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Salt shaker sound.
We're glad you find our shaker reassuring 🧂
Rice too. 💋s to you.
@@theschooloflifetv What does the salt shaker mean?
@@Rivanni Thank you. And that's always good advice.
@@Rivanni From the sound of those shakes that was a lil more than a grain
"The most important days are the one you are born and the one you find out why." - Mark Twain -
A nice quotation - however, sadly, almost certainly apocryphal
@@theschooloflifetv Great 🎊 to hear Alain De Button talking on this channel again . Many things I learnt about my true self { partly } came from afformitive years in adolescence in a group home for troubled teens . Learnt about my sexuality , my abilities to quick think to save a situation while under pressure & that I have a natural talent of planning ahead in advance how to keep my friends out of trouble . ♑️✍️🇦🇺🇳🇴
“Eat a live frog every morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day”. Mark Twain.
Source, specifically? I’m doubtful.
@@theschooloflifetv polite way of putting it.
Going for a solitary walk and talking out loud to yourself speaking honestly & truthfully exactly how you feel and why you think you feel that way while using your phone to record what you've said is quite useful. I find it really helpful and find out so much about myself listening back to what I've said once back home.
That is like talking to yourself… but, playing phone tag with voicemails. Next level crazy is leaving a voicemail reply to a voice mail you left for yourself by yourself.
@@minibuns5397 the crazy things we do eh!
I do this regularly. This is really helpful to be honest with myself.
I used to live on an apple farm, and I did this. No one around but my dog and the wind. Very therapeutic! But I wouldn't talk to my phone. It's a spying device and I carry mine as little as possible.
Yes!! Talking out loud on your own is great
I’ve found that a good way to find the real source of an insecurity or something like that is to instead of projecting it on other people to basically act like a curious, kind of annoying, child towards yourself. Just keep on asking yourself “why?” and you will start digging deeper and deeper until you find the actual problem and source of the insecurity which is then something you can actually work with. An example, I’m scared of talking to people, why?, because I think they’ll get bored of me and leave, why?, because all my previous friends have left me, why?, because I don’t know how to maintain relationships, why?, because during my whole childhood I never had to learn how to do that (my childhood best friend kind of adopted me at first sight and because of my own lacking self awareness she basically had to maintain the relationship all by herself, something I never even considered before). I used to think there was something inherently wrong with me and that I just wasn’t capable of connecting with people, but realizing the source of the problem gave me a lot more to work with and now, after a few months, I actually feel somewhat socially capable and have a few really good friends Edit: A second thing I just realized that have lead to me learning a lot about how I work is to have conversations in your own head. Yes, it sounds weird but trust me it works. I’ve had so many aha! -moments by doing this. Like I pick a person, for example my mom, and I think through how the conversation would go if I were to explain a problem I’m experiencing to her. It forces you to think in simpler terms and make it understandable while also forcing you to reflect deeply. It takes away the pressure because you’re not actually talking to anyone so you couldn’t be wasting their time and they’re not going to judge you because they’re not there. Maybe this is weird, idk, I do it automatically. Also, this is just to reflect and process your thoughts, if you’re having problems please do talk to someone, this could be a first step though, sort of like practicing for an interview UPDATE: So I just saw something interesting. It was on TikTok though so should be taken with a pinch of salt. BUT, regarding the first thing I said about asking why, they said that the better question to ask was “what”. This makes a lot of sense to me when I think about it so I thought I should share it here. When you ask “why” you might actually just be making up responses that *sound* true, like anything that could potentially be the cause of the problem will feel like the one true answer. When I said that for example the reason I didn’t have a lot of friends was because I never learned how to make them that would be partially true, emphasis on partially. There’s a lot of other factors that this method misses. For example I can now see that I wasn’t really interested in making friends cause I had my best friend, my twin brother and his friends that I hung out with every day at school and home (now I’m on an exchange year so that doesn’t work anymore, which is why I think I’ve been way more successful now than before when it comes to that area), I was also afraid of being myself and acting the way I wanted to which made me attract people I didn’t actually like and kept me away from the people I would get along with, so it was also a confidence issue. There’s more but this comment will be too long if I bring up all of them. INSTEAD you should be asking “what”, as in “what can I do differently to change this outcome in the future” (for example). I haven’t been doing it consciously for long so I’m still kinda bad at knowing which what questions to ask but these types of questions will generally give you a more specific and true answer than the why ones. I’m speculating now that it may be because it’s more looking for solutions and what you think right now than looking for catalysts and reasons why which only really serve to excuse your behavior whatever it is instead of fixing it (unless you’re like a psychiatrist or something and you know what to do with that information). The reason I could improve my situation with the why question was because it lead me to asking “what” which was what actually helped me forward. Anyway I just wanted to share that because I found it interesting. Have a good day ^^
Good thoughts , We only have honest communication online. I'm sure if I talked to you in person you wouldn't reveal so much about yourself
Wow, pretty thorough self analysis. Well done.
Omg when I was a child I used to be that kid who would always ask why until it made everyone annoyed. Now as an adult i'm completely the opposite, i've adapted myself to ignore the why because my environment doesn't favour it. Maybe, maybe I should try to go back to my inner child again haha.
My English is not that that good , what do you mean by "Instead of projecting it on other people to act like a curious, kind of annoying child, towards yourself."
@@Godfather-qr6ej well, projection in the case of my example was me putting the blame on everyone else for not being my friend instead of confronting the real problem which was me. By “acting like an annoying child towards yourself” I mean to challenge your own thoughts by asking yourself what lead you to think that, like a curious child who goes “why?” to every answer or fact you tell them (I think most people have had at least one interaction like that, I know I have)
There's a certain bittersweet moment in our lives when we know, deep down, what needs to be done. But when we try to visualize the circumstances of that decision - the uncertainty, the fear, the anxieties - facing those is the challenge, not the decision.
Yes.
One question that also really helps me is to ask "are these thoughts really me?". The moment we can question our thoughts, the more we can see past the conditionings that taint our thinking and emotions
Yes. Some of our thoughts arr not the true us.
@@PolishBehemoth who are they🤔
Good point
They aren't anyone. They are involuntary mechanisms that has served our genetic ancestors decently well in their habitat and circumstances
I like this. I recently discovered that "finding yourself" is not an outward excursion to move away from yourself and attach to things outside of you. But an inward return, uncovering of what is already there. You already have your identity, it doesn't need to be found elsewhere, it just needs to be dug up, dusted off, nourished and put on display. Not found, bought or hidden.
beautifully put
We autistic people call it self-searching. We are non-conformist by nature and want to know what we are doing and why. Which makes it traumatizing to live in this world. Literally everyone who can should self-search. It's a good way to start breaking the cognitive dissonance people have about ableism, sanism, climate change and whatever else they seem too scared to talk about.
I needed to see this today, thank you
If you think about something too deep for too long, you get lost. You get lost in your thoughts because it's not showing anything true but it just tangles more and more. Trust your gut. It is what suits you most.
journaling also really helps clarify those thoughts!
Trust the instinct, yes!
@@mindfulnesswithmatt sometimes journaling also feels like thoughts going back and forth through the walls of our mind, not getting anywhere never sitting still
what you say is so simple, but so true
I also still ask the 3 questions: What am I anxious about? What am I angry about? What excites me? Thank you, Alain for guiding us through this wild life...
And, most importantly, write down the answers as transparent as possible
Same
Don't let people pull you from your path to make their dreams come true at the cost of yours. A whole lot of people will lie to you in hopes that you will help them over yourself.
Thanks for the tip
his voice is a soothing friend 💕
Journaling is excellent for deep diving into your own thoughts
As an autistic/ADHD kid that grew up listening to others bc I was shown and told I wasn't good enough, this really helps. I'm 20 and just now I've been thinking about who I actually am and what do I actually think!!!! I'm almost finishing my first semester studying psychology and I've never been so happy. Thank you
Same with the ADHD/autism :) One month till I get my psychology degree. You got this!!
@@avaw9855 thank you!!!!
Same case for me tho let's say my unapologetic individual self was crushed at the middle of middle school. I had to go through a lot of changes, masking, insecurities, experimentation and reflection to go back to being authentic and assertive self of my needs and emotions. I think it's mostly about balancing your *collective identity*, how you fit to your communities and groups and how much are you willing to conform (for us neurodivergent folks would be masking or coping with your autism or ADHD if possible or necessary), and your *personal identity* ,what do you truly want, feel, need or believe, (for example being honest and communicative about the symptoms you can't control or are integral to yourself). If you are vigilant of not becoming too unbalanced you can get many true friends and be happy while being genuine to yourself. Now at high school, I feel like I turned into the ideal self I always wanted to be in 15 years old At least that's what has worked for me, I would like to know your insights
You are doing a wonderful thing! You will earn a lot of clarity and happiness :)
@@Amparito847 thank youuu
I look back at my past and compare my life then to how it is now, because I feel I missed out on a lot of opportunities. Then I realise I can still do a lot of the things I wanted to do before, so now I'm doing them. At the end of the day, given my start in life, there was never the opportunity to do any of those things until now. I had a lot to learn about people, about life and how the world works and about myself. I try to focus on enjoying life as it is now and make the most of it.
Good for you❤ Keep it up- you get to make your own magic in life now!😊
There is always time to do the things you want to do
Can you let us know what kinds of things you've been doing?
@@websurfer5772 Travel, higher education, expanding my knowledge of classical literature, art and philosophy, cultivating work/life balance, creating closer relationships and achieving autonomy in my life so I can spend more time on my hobbies. Since now I have a campervan I can go anywhere in Australia on long trips, so far I've been all up the East and West Coast from Perth to Brisbaine, Perth to Kalbarri and Albany. I started a youtube channel and I've learned a lot about gimp and shotcut. I enjoy learning new things and seeing places, expanding my knowledge about the world. Now I have lots of time to do that. I've tried writing at times, I need to read more first. The possibilites are numerous, anything I enjoy trying out for the pleasure of doing it or learning how to do it.
@@shelleywinters6763 That's great that you're doing so much. Thanks for sharing.
It's often hard to explain to others why we need some time for ourselves. For me it's all about this, be able to processa and properly follow up on my own thoughts.
Checking in on my true self means thinking out loud.
The moment of reflection I have in bed 10 minutes before sleep is really precious for me.
I have conversations with myself regularly. It's how I find out how I really feel about anything.
I was actually having a argument with my mum. We were going over some bad mistakes I made in the past and that they reveled that i am evil and manipulative. Got me really thinking. So this video has come at the right time.
We hope you haven't concluded you are evil! Each and every one of us is flawed and makes mistakes - your mother included. It is always useful to be humble and reflective, but not to the point that you despise your own nature. We hope you can find a way to forgive and feel compassion for yourself.
@@theschooloflifetv Some people are evil though.
Everyone is capable of evil. An ex girlfriend of mine once told me “your not a bad person, you have a good heart - you just make bad decisions” helped me stop hating myself for the decisions I was making at the the time and pushed me to make better decisions.
you are capable of growth
@@Bringadingus evil is not religious.
Thanks so much for this video. I spent so long trying to care for others, that I forget to focus on loving myself, and can't separate their feelings from my own.
Oof I resonate with this is every sense. On that note i must share this heads up I can to anyone experiencing this scenario... Be wary about people who make you feel bad for focusing on / looking after / loving / treating yourself. They dont understand what youre doing because they either spent their lives focusing on themselves equally or more than on others. Remind them as well as yourself of your original comment and that it's your turn now to achieve inner peace and balance within yourself.
Love Alain’s voice ❤
This video confirms that you should listen to yourself. Taking the advice from others frequently ends in a bad decision. Verify that information you received from others is correct and without a motive.
I agree, his is the voice of The School of Life...
I have strongly been avoiding this. Thank you for the reminder and for making it less scary
This is actually a good summary of one chapter of one of my favorite self-help books, the Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh. In this book, he articulates that in order to communicate with our loved ones in a compassionate way, we must first learn to communicate with ourselves, and the method you describe is the way to do just that.
To me how I truly feel about a person or people ebbs and flows. All of my main relationships friends and family go through seasons and stages. It doesn’t matter so much how I think or feel. It is always changing and sometimes it is easy, other times a rest is needed.
Meditation, journalling, and general reflection/contemplation are the best tools I've found for personal archaeology and really getting to know who you are. That, and immersing yourself in challenging experiences... really lets you see what you're made of.
I'll try that
I’ve been unknowingly doing this. Treating my inner self like a vulnerable child. And I’ve tried talking out loud to myself, that also is really helpful
I love Alain's analogies. It makes a profound subject easier to understand and remember.
I feel that the more I think the more I get tangled. I´ve sometimes been overthinking for hours. So now I'm a bit afraid of this
We should all be afraid 😑
So happy to hear that voice again. I stop listening when the woman narrator's voice screeches out the lessons. Although I'm sure she is a wonderful person ❤️
I learned that whenever I'm feeling anxious about something, I just need to let it flow and let the unseasy feelings fade away, then I see everything clearly.
Great reflection
“Let it flow” is perfect for me today. Thanks ❤
👍👏
You guys are the rocktars of KZhead IMO. We're experiencing such a crisis in meaning. Your messaging is clear and consistently helpful.
I'm so glad that you're back narrating videos, it now sounds like a true school of life masterpiece of video. Thanks Alain And all the respect to the narrator lady
No respect to the narrator lady. Her voice is stepping on my nerves
@@Pewpew-zi8bv how unkind
@@Pewpew-zi8bv how unkind
Initially I thought this was a decent video... But after a few days I'm realising it's one of the most practical. Asking those questions to myself has been a massive way to stay conscious.
I used to want to go to college, be in debt, all because I wanted one thing in life and it didn't matter the consequences because I would have the job I'd love. Then I realized, you don't know. You don't know if you'll love it, you don't know if you'll be happy. No matter how much you work towards an idea, you still don't know what you haven't done. I realized it wasn't worth the risk. Why put myself into a uncontrollable hole for a risk that's been pushed onto me by SOCIETY. I decided, I'll always keep my options open. One way is NOT the only way to be happy.
Someone once said to me: "There is always another way." He was a bright software programmer. He taught himself to code at age 10 or so. He was about 27 when we talked. You may not need college at all to do what it is you want to do. Find some people who are already doing what you are doing. Talk to them and see what they did to get the job. Ask them how you could get that job. What is required? If college is required and you don't want to go, maybe you could find a second best job. Find mentors who are doing what you want to do. Start doing the work to get the experience you need. Robert Greene's books are great. Mastery may interest you. Good luck!
As someone who tends to overanalyze and ruminate, how do I focus on something that is concerning me without it resulting in overthinking?
same
When I got into looking deeply at my astrological chart it really helped me with this. For instance if Mercury was too close to the sun when you were born, you're going to be more prone to obsessing about things. Mercury = your mind. Unless it was retrograde you're going to care too much about what people think of you. Finding out that my natal Mercury was only 9 degrees from the sun, and going direct is validating to me in understanding why I trip way harder about things compared to other people. Then there's tons of water in my chart, causing me to be overly emotional, and I could just go on and on. But it gives me something else to focus on, rather than just going 'round and 'round in my head in the same way all the time.
Me too. How about dedicate a set amount of time each day to think deeply about a topic without judgement and see what rises - meditation - Journaling might be another way, as part of a daily routine.
you have too much energy. focus it on something you want to do other than thinking
I thought it was just me!! I often don't know what I really think, want or feel
Alain's voice is the most potent antidepressant!!!!!!!
I'd like to know how many minds are involved and how much time is spent writing and editing these soliloquies. They always seem ripe and highly informative.
Yeah if you like vague consistently repeated information.
@@supersaiyanzero386 some truths need to be spoken in different ways
Bought the Consolations of Philosophy. A Serious deep dive into the " Life is not a straight line " conversation 👍
One of my favorite books
Its terrifying to think that most people cant get in touch with their thoughts at this depth.... because I can. I'm one of those people whose inner self is so loud, that I dont have the option of hiding from myself or being oblivious.
Rarely does a man have a voice so soothing and suitable for filming as Alan. I just love the way these videos are being presented. 😊
In DBT we call this calling upon "wise mind" 🧠
For anyone interested in further exploring the topics and practices outlined in this video, look into Carl Jung's Active Imagination. This video word for word describes and explains the value of Active Imagination, but to read on and practice active imagination is to go 10 times deeper in the exploration of knowing the self. If there is one beneficial psychological practice I would recommend, it would be Active Imagination. Fantastic video, and fantastic topic to further explore and integrate into one's life. Again, I highly recommend researching and practicing Active Imagination to all. 👍
I like the way the video becomes smaller in the end so I can see what is happening even when the preview of the other videos appeared. Thank you!
I love this! Another great video from The School of Life. 💖When you're having quiet time thinking try to look at yourself and your actions and bad life events with curiosity not judgment. I think it helps stop the subconscious reflex of blocking out memories which you can learn or heal from.
I was all up my mind again and saw this a few minutes later, thanks this really helps a lot 💖
Very much needed this. The philosophy from the School of Life has profoundly impacted my life in many positive ways, the recent addition of the app is terrific, I use it everyday. Offline mode / downloadable articles on the app would be a welcome addition.
Meditation the answer to a lot of life's questions.
In some cases when we think about something too much for too long we may make it worse. Been there done that. It's a good method but I found that the opposite method "Think/Do nothing" can work wonders too. At the start I just tried to be mindful of my breath and didn't think about any questions/problems/etc. It likes you have to sharpen your mind & be restful enough to be able to do the actual work of self-questioning.
Yeah if we can just get control of our brains we'd be UNSTOPPABLE!
I just want to say the animation team is amazing. The lighting effect from the submarine when it turned literally had me in awe!
One of the best videos in the history of youtube. Very straight forward, thank you.
Recently, school of life has been on fire and Alain gentle calming voice doesn’t hurt either.
I go with my gut feeling in most things because it always seems right to me. I wonder why I can't do it in poker because there are times when it's there, somewhere under the surface but unmistakable. Logically the odds tell me 9 3 off suit is no good but... This isn't wishful thinking otherwise I'd get it ever other hand. I know the difference between a calculated risk and a gamble. The feeling is exactly the same as what should I do, but it's deeper than the usual "this seems right to me".
It is like these come in right on time. These videos are like therepy. These almost make me feel stable as floating! ✨
and yet another SoL video that perfectly ressonates with my current state of soul-searching ❤️✨️ so much love for this channel
I was talking about this very thing with my therapist this week! 😊
I kind of liken it to being in the fast lane and needing to pull over. My mind can go full throttle and seeks out sources of distraction - often consciously, to avoid slowing down, pausing and reflecting. And I’m always asking myself why bc I can actively feel the resistance. Plus it’s ironic because every time I do slow down - for me it especially helps to be in a vast natural wilderness void of ppl and things - I end up feeling so much more centered, balanced and carefree. I don’t know why there is this push pull bw my active go-go-go brain and the brain that is able to provide the real perspective and assurance. Is it just that anxiety is a self fulfilling prophecy… the more you feel anxious, the more you need to do (increase distractions) to not feel anxious, thus creating more anxiety…? Anyone have other hypotheses! As to the question prompt - I’ve learned so much about myself over the years, changed and morphed into so many different people as a result, so I wouldn’t know where to start. It’s a curse and a gift to be part of the thinker/reflector tribe. I think we just need support in learning how to yield our abilities so that we don’t end up using them against ourselves (internalizing stress, self demoralization, self criticism and neglect) and instead use them as assets to connect deeper with ourselves, and the world around. Thanks for the video, I love these very practical reminders. I also GREATly prefer leaving out the word “meditation”, not sure if that was intentional but this is a much better way to describe it:)
Yet another inspiring video, perfectly narrated, and with lovely graphics.
It's a great video! In short I would say just deep dive in yourself, but you explained everything well, you explained how, where and when should I deep dive in myself! As one ancient philosoph said, you can take knowledge from the galaxy by time and force of thinking about some subject. Thank you!
I keep asking myself "what is the general human need (that any human being could have) behind the feeling". Assuming that any feeling at any given time is caused by a need met (positive feeling) or not met (negative feeling), it's often simple to find the need. That finding relaxes me somewhat immediately. From there its often very easy to find several strategies that could in theory fulfill the specific need and then try out the best one(s). This may seem like doing 'math on feelings' - but it works very well. Extremely simple example: I feel thirsty; my body needs fluids, I could get hold of water, soda, watermelon, etc - whatever is closest and easiest to find. It gets a bit more difficult, but still doable for more non-body functions like 'afraid of ...': may need insurance or safety; search for knowledge about the risk, then strategies to mitigate. 'Sad because...': I lost something that I thought I needed, I need to re-find it, replace it or learn to live without - essentially fulfill the need in another way. Each case will be different, but always leads me in a better direction going forward. If I fail, I know it's because the need I 'calculated' from the feeling was not the right one; I circle back and retry. This method is extremely efficient towards myself and - by the way - exactly as efficient in the dialog with others, simply trying to guess the feeling, calculate and verify the need and than negotiate a common strategy.
Totally, I love this and also use this sometimes. Also for me, it’s weird but I feel like I’ll have a wave of anxiety wash over me (or more like stab me in the chest!) and my brain will keep on going forward, quickly absorbing this emotion, but then a few min later I’ll consciously realize I’ve just absorbed a terrible / anxious emotion, so I’ll back track through my brain/thoughts to identify what image or thought popped into my brain that set off this anxiety wave. Often identifying the thing is step one, and provides some initial relief - like ok , I’ve got the prey in my sight! (It has borders and is finite vs all consuming) Then yes finding tactics to relieve/mitigate at more of an intellectual level come next.
Sounds like you discovered non-violent communication for yourself. You should check out Marshall Rosenberg on this. Keep up the good work!
I love your work Alain & of course your voice. THANK YOU ,,💜💜💜
I’m amazed at how much this channel blames issues at childhood, meaning parenthood !!!
Im loving the topics they have been choosing lately ♡
What's the most unexpected thing you've ever learnt about your true self? Let us know in the comments below
There is no such thing as a True Self.
That I didn't really know how I functioned emotionally.
life is a contradiction and I didn't need to get wrapped up in something that wasn't going to make sense anyway
That I really don’t like people very much. In general.
That I'm highly intelligent.
I'm 47 years old and have no idea what I "want" out of life. In the end, I can get used to anything, as people are wont to do. My thoughts are not separate from me, as I converse with my self, sometimes aloud. The going through the motions of working the job I have and living with and taking care of my mother is grinding me down. I'm always questioning my tastes and my friendships and my actions or lack of action. And some days I think, well, this isn't so bad. I have a job and a roof over my head and my health. And I try to put it into perspective because some people have none of those things. And other days I think there is something I should be doing with my time on this planet. But it all comes back to "it doesn't really matter". Not in a depressing oh why I don't I just give up and end it all sort of way. More of an existential big picture, everything matters so nothing matters. My thoughts don't seem authentic and they don't feel like me. Which I know is pretty much the opposite of how I began. I'm confused and contradictory as well.
you’re a good writer
I can see how social media has made it harder for people to,as Pascal put it, sit quietly in a room all by themselves. Life has never been so fast paced and confusing. At the same time, time for reflection has never been so needed!
One day I found that I loved someone not because of him but because he reminds me of my father he was always angry or no attention at all so I wanted him because he does the same, I thought I deserve this kind of love
Lately I've been writing at night before I go to bed. It starts with whatever is currently going on/something that happened that day/something I'm thinking about. Then, I just let go and let whatever comes, come. Last night I started writing about my nephew, and ended up realizing why I was so lonely in my marriage. It's great practice.
Until I saw my first comment, I didn't even remember watching this one,and it was only four months ago,. I'm in a slightly different place right now, thank goodness! Maybe the first view is what helped get me in tune with my actual feelings since I have rekindled a friendship or two in the past year or two. I am reminded(and they may be too) of unresolved issues which caused these friendships to fail. And that they failed because nobody addressed them or if addressed were not taken to heart. Now these same issues are magnified. Everyone knows it. We also are aware that whatever undergirded our former associations continues to erode to the point that confronting any issues would likely be taken as an affront. Honestly, it's risky and feels like a lot of work to try to make things work again. I like to believe it's just as bold to admit to ourselves that ya just can't go home again and turn the page.
This an important topic that not many people talk about and I was thinking about this only today. And this skill takes time to develop still getting used to it
Journaling and recording self talk while walking or driving are so helpful. We have conflicted thoughts and emotions. If we bring both negative and positive ones, we can be lighter, clearer, and confident. Suppressing some thoughts (not acceptable to yourself) can create mental and physical problems. Sensitive, reserved people can benefit from this. :)
May I say hello old friend. It’s been a very long time since I’ve listened to your videos. I’m glad to be back
My favorite voice guy is back!
Since I’m early, I guess I just want to say thank you, this channel is amazing
That was a good one! Of course they pretty much all are great. . . so way to go again!
I think that’s what my dreams are trying to show me. As messed up as they are -it’s my deep subconscious revealing itself.
... like the stars that were present all along and only required the sun to fade in order to come to light in the circumstances of the sky👍
Thank you,because it’s true,I found the answers within myself. Peace and harmony in the midst of myself. Security wherever I am,because it’s in me. Glory in every heart,because that’s how I see it in mine. I am what I need to become,assured of it here and now. When life’s forever you don’t fear another face,another life,death,or rebirth . It just you being all you can be,in each and every,for all time?
I just watched how to be interesting and was thinking about how should I express my real self and this popped up
We're very pleased to have shared this film at such an auspicious time for you
It is so nice to hear Alain's voice again.
I'm so glad Alan is back. I missed his soothing voice.
Small but highly relatable episode
>Click on school of life video >Check if Alain is the narrator >He is , so proceed to actually view the video instead of clicking away
I've always wondered this, thanks for the video💯
Thank you for watching
i really like this video. it came to me at the right time. these days i often find myself trying to search for what i really think, what i actually like, who i truly am, etc. sometimes i want to push my limits to go for things that i'm not conditioned to like, i think if i break out of my conditioning i'd be able to access to true self, but other times i think, where does this need to be extraordinary come from? it's partly because, i do want to be perceived as someone who is admirable to other people. so this need to be cool for others also inhibits me from accessing what i truly like. i find myself in a tough spot because of this all the time.
That’s exactly my dilemma when I enjoy a book that’s considered bad or mediocre by people. But there’s such a freedom when you are who you really are and express that confidently. At the end of the day it’s impossible to be liked by everyone. So we should better treat ourselves with kindness and honesty
Finally, a School of Life video with Alain's voice!!
Another beautiful upload, namaste ❤️💯
🙏
I also love to hear your voice on these videos - partly because you are a MAN who is so deeply aware and has the insight and mindsight to ARTICULATE many of the skills of my female (R) brain used as I nurture my kids and pick up from attunement of their body language and sounds - you are so enlightened, attuned to what I as a women naturally do as a mother - you make me realise I am not mad just because I am not Left brained and coldly logical
It’s quite sad that we need to be reminded to think about things
Great video, thanks 🙏🏻
I really love the school of life ❤️
How do we manage when we've gone so far the other way that we become locked in analysis paralysis, unable to make even the simplest of decisions because the "shitty committee" in our heads has so many competing considerations to thrash out?
I think analysis paralysis happens when you focus too much on doing the “right” thing. How do you stop thinking too much? Well, occupy yourself with other activities. I’ve noticed myself that when I let myself think for more than 10 minutes for example, one issue, I fall into analysis paralysis. So what I do is I occupy myself with other activities and don’t let too much leisure time for thinking. The answer will form itself while doing other things, you don’t need to actively think about a specific thing. For example I used to allow myself every morning 30 minutes for thinking. That was too much. I reduced that to 5 minutes and replace the remained time with watching the news and I broke out of the cycle
@@myrtila You watch the news? 😮
Thank you for your content. I truly appreciate this channel in my journey. ☯️🌌💎
One thing you can do is ask your inner child what s/he thinks. Then ask your inner teen how s/he feels about someone. Next ask your inner young adult. Then your middle-aged adult, Then your older adult. Then your elder self, And don't forget your Higher Self You can ask the future version of yourself as any of these depending on your age. There are 7: one for each chakra. You might be surprised that they don't always all agree with each other. You may have to explain why you feel the way you do to your inner child. Because as Jesus said, "When I was a child, I thought like a child." Picture yourself sitting with all those versions of yourself around a conference table as you deliberate on how you should proceed regarding your relationships and how you want to live your life. I came up with this as I've been on this journey for decades now. It's not as simple for me as he makes it seem in this video, but with other aids to see into your true self, like astrology and tarot, you can get a pretty good idea of which way to go and what your relationships should look like in your life.
What a brilliant video!!! Thank you so much 🌷
I wonder for how many of my fellow personality disorder sufferers this doesn't really ring true. I'm crap at repression. I think I had it happen like once and it was a bizarre feeling - I was like "why can't I access my own mind!?". I'm usually very clear on what is troubling me in the moment. It's just that evaluating overall patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaviour across time is pretty challenging...i my (somewhat spurious) hypothesis is right, then having your personality organised at the borderline level vs the neurotic level is about splitting yourself with dissociation vs repression, and so your insight is either conserved into the depths or across time - unless you pull some other defensive manoeuvre that further obscures it, of course...
Life adapts, so do our bodies and mind, while at the same time, we are inherently programmed to be lazy, to want to be lazy, energy efficient beings however ridiculous it may sound. The more you do a certain thing, the easier it becomes, the less often you do something, the harder it may seem, it's pretty much about habits. People who don't actively try to think of past events will find it difficult to do so as they may not have the habit of doing it in the first place. If thinking of past events is difficult for you, you should perhaps consider using tools to help you. The concept of a diary may help you a great deal, whether it is written or voice recordings, choose whatever you find the most comfortable. With enough effort put into something, it could potentially develop into a habit, in this case a habit for thinking.
@@MrHuntingClaw ah, my issue is thinking of them too much, not too little. I always feel the need to understand exactly why things happened as they did
@@andrewphillips-hird3761 it appears I may have misunderstood your use of the word "repression" I thought you meant you weren't able to think too much, when you indirectly meant that your mind was so clear that you didn't have any issues to think about. I believe you should perhaps consider it rather than a state of repression as a state of clearmindedness where you're not clouded by random stray thoughts.
@@MrHuntingClaw ah, no, you've misunderstood. I'm referring to the defence mechanism - as far as I can tell I almost never use it, so my impulses all enter conscious awareness and I guess i mostly just end up discharging them. My mind is clear in that there is no scary hidden zone, but not clear in a sense of conflict-free
The brain is a complex system of neural ensembles, then neural connections, and finally neurons. Not every unit of knowledge is related to every other unit of knowledge. By bringing up a particular bundle in our head, we only take what we need to use right now. But what if we take our time and peer into it long enough? If we do, it's possible to find little ladders down to its base and see what it really is. It's called making sense, the process of linking what needs to be connected - often we just need to go through the contents of our head, cover the facts and build relationships. If you do this on a regular basis, then after a while it is enlightenment that will seem more profitable than concealment.