Watch Michael's stand up comedy special Showman, streaming now on Netflix! www.netflix.com/title/8125897... . Website: www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk/ Facebook: / themichaelmcintyre Twitter: @McInTweet
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honestly the most relatable comedian ever 😂
@sophiegrace20363 жыл бұрын
I think him, Miranda Hart, Russel Howard and Jack Whitehall are the most relatable ones
@taytumdolan23643 жыл бұрын
@Mai Nyigguh Agreed!
@mystepdadsnotmeanhesjustad60513 жыл бұрын
@@taytumdolan2364 really that's what's funny to you, why?
@jamesbaker91063 жыл бұрын
Com into my hou...?shitgu..! Na
@n1k32h3 жыл бұрын
Taytum Dolan Russell Howard is trash
@MichaelM283 жыл бұрын
i start as a stay stiller, then i become a wafter, and eventually that turns in total panicker
@JBG-AjaxzeMedia3 жыл бұрын
JustBecause Gaming omg same except i miss out being a wafter, cause i dont want to hurt it 😂😂
@Tottington233 жыл бұрын
He forgot the 4th one, the "leaver" I will just say nope, and I'm gone.
@racoonsister3 жыл бұрын
@@racoonsister now THIS is me
@dontbefatuousjeffrey24943 жыл бұрын
Same
@NOONE-cd4gu3 жыл бұрын
Same😂😂😂
@hannahmcdevitt023 жыл бұрын
There is a fourth way: The Dodgers - when you try to do the matrix moves to avoid the wasp
@mand63773 жыл бұрын
I'm a doger then I turn into a total panicker, this guy just tells my everyday life!
@sharonmcauley25823 жыл бұрын
I’m a combo of a total panicker and a dodger. Whenever a wasp enters my vicinity a literally do about 20 laps of my back garden looking like a total loonatic dodging under invisible branches like I’m in the matrix😅😅
@wallemo18353 жыл бұрын
I am a stay stiller, until it clearly doesn’t want to leave me alone, then I start dodging it. Once accomplished that I run away. No panicking, just leave the spot where it has been interested in me at.
@elanorallmann3 жыл бұрын
Yep, and I'm totally a combo of all 4 😂😂😂
@DragonsAreHungry3 жыл бұрын
Michael gets more exercise in just one show than I do in a week
@nyx28492 жыл бұрын
I'm American, & after a day of watching & hearing all of the political claptrap over here, watching Michael McIntyre is both a relief & a joy.
@ittakesallkinds8093 жыл бұрын
Also American, and I agree!
@DarthTaiter793 жыл бұрын
Me too thank the Lord it’s not too much longer to find out.
@cathycutler79963 жыл бұрын
I agree.
@kittykat81693 жыл бұрын
And that would be not just in America. The world needs this man to show us how ridiculous homan beings, and, human nature, truly is.
@johncopetti1253 Жыл бұрын
Ditto!
@catmom1322 Жыл бұрын
If you’re British this Comedian is your every day life 😂😂
@thatloganr48193 жыл бұрын
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
@hdennis12353 жыл бұрын
He's more global then you think, I'm from israel and it's 100 percent 😄
@danielslubski10283 жыл бұрын
I'm british american. Born and raised in america but my parents are british..I love michael, he makes me laugh every time. I hope you come to america Michael so I can watch your show in person..come to california michael..
@rebeccaswift75883 жыл бұрын
You don't even have to be british, for him to be everyday.🤣🤣 Lol! I love him, he's great. 💟❤💜💚
@babygirlrhiannon2063 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend introduced me to Michael McIntyre, when we broke up he was well out of my life. But not Michael, his comedy is for me everyday now 😂😂😂
@kimothy5953 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter : Wafter Hermione Granger : stay stiller Ron Weasley : total panicker
@francissummers87303 жыл бұрын
Me: Befriends it
@teganpilling3 жыл бұрын
just like with the devils snare in chamber of secrets 😂😂😂
@Tottington233 жыл бұрын
Jk Rowling: the bee is gay
@t-fi1533 жыл бұрын
@@Tottington23 Trueee
@teganpilling3 жыл бұрын
@Ebonie 1 * Philosopher’s Stone. Chamber was the one with the big snake.
@Longshanks16903 жыл бұрын
No matter how bad my day is Micheal always brings a smile 2 my face
@sammansfield213 жыл бұрын
Sam Watts I am watching now 23 September at 13.50 pm and I am on my 4th programme. Laughing out loud, the Dubai sketch was hilarious, The Pool sketch even more so and now Bees and Wasps. He is so good.
@lyndakarpen41273 жыл бұрын
@@lyndakarpen4127 I literally can't get enough of him...got all his dvds and lost count of how much I've seen each 1 lol
@sammansfield213 жыл бұрын
Sam Watts hair washing now. My fave are 5=Spice and Waitrose.
@lyndakarpen41273 жыл бұрын
He makes everyday occurrences hilarious.
@debbieparenti3998 Жыл бұрын
Made my day 😂😂 his scream alone is hilarious
@pooriprincess5643 жыл бұрын
The great thing about his stories is that as a parent it makes you realise that just your kids are not actually the spawn of Satan, everyone else's kids are obviously exactly the same as yours :-)
@RussMichaels3 жыл бұрын
I suggest searching up Montessori at home seriously worthhhhh it aaahh i couldn't imagine trying to parent this way i would end up shouting at punishing all the time if i didn't find out about Montessori in time
@AmmaraSHAH7733773 жыл бұрын
“Darling?” *DON’T YOU EVEN!*
@joebleasdale55573 жыл бұрын
He forgot the Avoiders and the Oblivious. Lol
@jacobdeweil35533 жыл бұрын
I love how the title includes ‘stand up comedy’ and the first frame shows him sitting down xD
@larawabsie3 жыл бұрын
I have a 5 second threshold of increasingly nervous wafting, followed by silent but agile panicking. I reserve the vocal, unreserved panicking for when I am trapped indoors.
@sunshinesmile943 жыл бұрын
Big up the person moving the spotlight when he’s running 😂
@ievani76093 жыл бұрын
I'm definitely the total panicker🤣 Even a ladybug makes me panic. I can't tolerate the buzzing noises of the insects' wings.
@chibako393 жыл бұрын
Me neitherrrr the noises make me feel icky
@ramaabapat2 жыл бұрын
Lol what I'm afraid of is flies. I once saw a zoomed in photo of a fly on a nature program and I've been terrified ever since 😂😭🤦♀️
@Lizzy-2510Ай бұрын
Iv seen this about 5 times and it still makes me laugh
@napsta27763 жыл бұрын
Michael: You're not trying to hit it, you're just gonna move the air near you. And you'll know this is an area where you aren't particularly welcome. Me: Oh. I use that strategy for people instead of wasps and bees
@louisecampbell32233 жыл бұрын
Definitely the best comedian there is !! Everything he says is so true! Love the part about the bees and wasps, I’m a total panicker, and this is so relatable 😂
@emmawarrener30963 жыл бұрын
My young grandsons kept running in screaming bee's were following them (warm January day in North West USA). One bee came inside and when I put my hand out and let the bee climb on to be escorted outside the boys faces were priceless. They thought I was going to die right there and then
@tjkasgl2 жыл бұрын
When his “Fine!” hits that high note of desperation 🤣
@yesterdayitrained9 ай бұрын
How to get rid of a headache.... watch one of these for five minutes and it’s gone.
@Nettsinthewoods3 жыл бұрын
I agree.❤❤❤❤❤
@vivienneoneill540018 күн бұрын
He is so relatable 😂😂😂
@georgiahoward58163 жыл бұрын
I, a wafter, recently chatted with a stay-stiller during a hike. I made this observation when an insect landed on me. Dude was like, DON'T. MOVE. I was like "What? Is there a snake? ... Oh, it's just a carpenter bee." I'm a wafting entomologist. I'm pretty sure, if it had landed on the other guy he'd have morphed into a Total Panicker immediately.
@JohnDrummondPhoto3 жыл бұрын
If you want to see a 100kg 186cm man panic and scream like a young girl, just introduce me to a clingy wasp.
@kuzzbillington63923 жыл бұрын
A what man?
@forevercomputing3 жыл бұрын
@@forevercomputing it's a transformation between opposites :p
@kuzzbillington63923 жыл бұрын
When your allergic to bees and wasps you become a panicker and also sometimes a stay stiller 😂 I’m absolutely petrified of bees and wasps because I’m allergic. I didn’t mind them before I found out i was allergic
@jessbutterill71923 жыл бұрын
the fact that his jokes stretch across different stories is one of my fav thing
@sdasdasd1512 жыл бұрын
I am a stay stiller for bees. Best strategy for them. Even if they land on me I don't panic, they won't sting me because if they do they die. WASPS tho, they are bastards. They sting anything and everything. Doesn't matter if you stay still or not, they will sting you. So, I look for the closest exit and escape. If there is no exit currently available, I stay still and try and get the attention of a nearby wafter. They will waft it away leaving me free to promptly thank them and leave the room. I dub this, the best method. After all i have never been stung.
@alexandramoss30153 жыл бұрын
Alexandra Moss wafting is probably the best strategy because if you stay still and get stung once. It releases a pheromone that will get the others to sting also. That’s not fun
@prof_hedgehog74563 жыл бұрын
The sad thing is the one time i did get stung was by a dead wasp
@Menarecuteaaa3 жыл бұрын
@@Menarecuteaaa Ha! Wow, that is unfortunate. I'd be extremely pissed, if I were going to be stung, I'd at least like the opportunity to kill the bugger myself for revenge.
@alexandramoss30153 жыл бұрын
"Best strategy"? Look at 1:17. That's what all stay stillers think smugly :p
@pieterdepauw65993 жыл бұрын
My dad is a wafter. Wafted the wasp one way, then the other, hitting the stinger both times.
@sophiering2102Ай бұрын
The wasp story gave me a flashback of what happened at school when I was in 2nd grade. (True story) A wasp or hornet landed on the face of the kid sitting next to me. All the kids laughed or screamed. (Mixed reactions) The Teacher was watching and quickly said to him "Don't move...Just stay still and it won't hurt you." The poor kid sat perfectly still but terrified as the wasp took its time... crawling all over his little face. After about 30 seconds it crawled into one of his nostrils. Now everybody was screaming...including me. The poor kid starting clawing at his face as the wasp stung him in his sinus cavity. Teachers had to drag him out of the room kicking and screaming. They rushed him to the hospital but they never told the rest of us what happened to him. He never returned to school. We never knew if he died...or if his family just took him out of school. Maybe they moved after he recovered? That day changed me, and made me afraid of all bee's for the rest of my life. Imagine what the kid went through?
@MegaSkills92 жыл бұрын
You never asked? 0.0
@BloodyRoses666 Жыл бұрын
@@BloodyRoses666 They didn't tell me. Maybe he moved or maybe he died.?
@MegaSkills9 Жыл бұрын
horrific
@lynb2039 Жыл бұрын
You could look through the local paper archives for that year for obituaries or search history name and the area. That's an alarming story. Either way, not telling the kids what happened was a terrible way to handle that
@michah72146 ай бұрын
He became a wasp
@Chic-A-Dee18 күн бұрын
It's 3am and I'm shaking the whole bed crying from laughter. Especially the kids stuff. He is so accurate and observant.
@JustLetMeFly943 жыл бұрын
Him complaining about his kids makes me realize how lucky my parents were lmao
@jojspilledthetea3 жыл бұрын
One of the best-ever comedians we have ever had. Brilliant insight without vulgarity. AND!! getting better with age.
@kevs6402 Жыл бұрын
I have that Mother hearing. When you hear your child yell and you know it's play or pain. My poor baby girl got biten by a paper wasp and I knew what had happened straight away. Bees are fine, just move away slowly. Paper wasps are another story. A quick yet silent fleeing is the best technique. Thank you again and take care of yourself, Mate
@goaway28033 жыл бұрын
Urgh! I accidentally knocked a nest when I was 8 and paper wasps stung the hell out of me.
@JB-vd8bi3 жыл бұрын
@@JB-vd8bi I'm so sorry for you. They are bloody painful stings. My poor baby girl went down a slide at a public pool and got stung multiple times because there was a nest just under the edge. Her fingers just brushed passed them and out they flew. I just ran when I heard the scream. It was not a happy birthday party scream. The beauty of living in Australia XD Take care of yourself, Mate
@goaway28033 жыл бұрын
WTH is a “paperwasp?” Never heard of them!
@caralama083 жыл бұрын
I’ve seen this so many times but I still laugh each and every single time.
@craigr98813 жыл бұрын
This was me the other day 🤣 😂 outdoors during lunch.
@sadrakarugendo9313 Жыл бұрын
So real, so funny
@deborahspooner80463 жыл бұрын
His impression of the Stay Still'ers is so damn funny. The way he says DONT WAFT IT is just so silly 🤣
@Starkiller5121 Жыл бұрын
I can never be a “stay stiller”… so funny to me since I’m a “panicker”! Michael is the best!
@LuckyGigi49 ай бұрын
And for perspective, I’ve never been stung while being a total panicker!
@LuckyGigi49 ай бұрын
I must admit I am a waffder, never been stung, never upgraded to total panicker. A past male friend of mine, may he RIP. 6ft 2", 16 stone, backed me up in a couple of bar fights. Surprised the hell out of me, he was a total panicker. I could not believe it, you would have thought someone was shooting bullets at him. I don't know whether it was a wasp or a bee, but as far as my friend was concerned it was a KILLER!
@wildnfree1013 жыл бұрын
T Iger when you say “RIP” do you mean he died?
@prof_hedgehog74563 жыл бұрын
I know a guy thats similar but he's allergic is why he panics
@JB-vd8bi3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a good friend :3
@BloodyRoses666 Жыл бұрын
Bees I can stand and will waft away. Wasp's I don't trust and I will hunt it down unless it leaves the area.
@MrAkaacer Жыл бұрын
the stewardess, standing steadily before you: "Excuse me, is your seat belt on, in case of turbulence".
@lynb2039 Жыл бұрын
What a great way to start a day - thank you McIntyre Team - from NZ
@joanne47583 жыл бұрын
I found out that the reason they want the blinds up, is in case there is an accident, emergency personnel will be able to see if people are alive, conscious etc, Michael is hilarious !!
@Ceci_et_Cela3 жыл бұрын
CORRECT!
@caralama083 жыл бұрын
OMG I love this guy ,he is so funny !!!😅😂🤣
@michellewaite44823 жыл бұрын
Haven't laughed so loud in my life!!!
@johannaarcher72663 жыл бұрын
You can literally see some people crying of laughter 🤣 that’s how funny he is
@gaxamillion_2 жыл бұрын
Yesterday I was stung by a wasp and instantly went from life-long wafter to utter-panicker.
@amyslingsby69473 жыл бұрын
Poor you
@ursula58933 жыл бұрын
Lol this is one of my very favorites lol Michael is amazing. Just love him
@sonia3363 жыл бұрын
laughting so hard might need a depend lol thank you so much great start of the day :)
@carol-annemartin4013 жыл бұрын
I'm somehow a wafter, stay stiller and total panicker at the same time. 😂
@alexrose95072 жыл бұрын
Pure gold this guy! 😆🤣😍
@j-n-dfilms4733 жыл бұрын
Me: Stay stiller My brother: total panicker My dad: wafter
@millieroberts92553 жыл бұрын
He touches the 'funny bone strings' everytime...🗣👂🤣
@DoubleDeckerAnton3 жыл бұрын
Bones don’t have strings. The “humerus” IS the funny bone - hence the connection & the pun.
@caralama083 жыл бұрын
You're brilliant Michael!! Love you
@KimCarmenWalsh3 жыл бұрын
Best way to start your day😂Love M McIntyre.
@meley-eritreanwellbeingmed4010 Жыл бұрын
I can relate to all of this, best comedian ever.
@snapdragon6063 жыл бұрын
I go to bed every night with Michael,i sleep better with a good laugh, my all time fav comedian
@alisonmansfield90523 жыл бұрын
OMG me tooooo!!
@erikteh96253 жыл бұрын
Omg his description of living with children: this is my LIFE!!!!!
@caryhofmann46453 жыл бұрын
One of the best ever
@ih20223 жыл бұрын
Without a doubt one of the funniest men on the planet, and he can do this without getting himself in trouble with "any" woke or minority group. Just soooo good. Cheers and thank s. This crazy world needs people such as he to lighten up and de stress, for a while at least.
@johncopetti1253 Жыл бұрын
In the summer time I am always in the Park. And whenever I see the bees I panic 😹😹
@sadrakarugendo9313 Жыл бұрын
He's so right on about kids and veggies!!
@karenax2542 жыл бұрын
You forgot the 4th one. The "bee and wasp friend". I went from being the total panicker, to stay stiller, to the friend in a single day, despite having been stung badly 5 times in my life. A trial by fire really.
@notadumbblond3 Жыл бұрын
One time i sat so perfectly still that a wasp crawled in my nose. I didn’t get stung but did revisit my way of coping with wasps.
@DeZusVanMijnZus Жыл бұрын
My friend is that 1 impossible child. She’s really well behaved, does what she’s told, prefers fruit and veg over sugary or salty foods. She’ll go to be earlier than most kids our age and showers almost everyday. Damn, maybe I’m just imagining my opposite self.
@EllieDickinson283 жыл бұрын
Best of the best bar none!
@divinenurturerjanenecummin20203 жыл бұрын
This is my favorite story!!!! 😂
@jsully74263 күн бұрын
🤣🤣 Definitely the last one
@milasaba75943 жыл бұрын
7:36 oh and flush the- you know... 🤣🤣🤣
@edh2863 жыл бұрын
Is this your poo? kids: no wife: Don't you even!
@houndandhandbag3 жыл бұрын
Yeah I have a fear of wasps and bees 😂 completely accurate
@angeljacrispy3 жыл бұрын
This skit reminds me of a story my grandmother and these days mother, every time the temperature goes over 30, used to tell about my grandmothers grandmother and her sister. Sitting in the shade of a fruit tree, probably apples, wasps crawling all over their faces as they babbled away for hours. My mother asked how they could ignore the wasps that easily. Their answer? "What wasps?"
@Rincenso Жыл бұрын
The leaving the house situation - absolutely acurate, apart from the brother, who will instandly start to cry, when we shout up the stairs that we're leaving without his twin, whereas the older child is immediately on it's way to the car.
@alexpond6483 жыл бұрын
Me when I Fall down 🤣😂🤭
@sadrakarugendo9313 Жыл бұрын
I just get flattered that the wasp mistaked me for a flower
@grey93263 жыл бұрын
I’m a total panicker, especially here in Japan with the Giants Japanese Hornet!
@gd65853 жыл бұрын
Brilliant! :)
@DaveAMcLaughlin3 жыл бұрын
I'm a stay stiller. Never a wafter or a panicker. Lucky that nothing's landed on me. Might panic. It would be so uncool. Lol
@sean91773 жыл бұрын
I’m a runner 😂
@matisse55653 жыл бұрын
I'm staystiller then upgrade to panicker but not as dramatic as he showed 😂
@RandomGuy-bf8wq3 жыл бұрын
I’m a stay stiller...just frozen out of pure fear haha
@broccolihighkicks38573 жыл бұрын
It’s gunna land and go in your ear! Move lol 😂
@kimishome38483 жыл бұрын
Makes my day@
@nazarenekarodia5889 ай бұрын
A great comedian :)
@0darkwings03 жыл бұрын
In P.E I once got stung by a bee and some girl in my class screamed.I just stood there. Then I just went:...ow Then I got to miss P.E for the rest of the day😎✌️
@LowOn3nergy2 жыл бұрын
I sent this to my niece who has two little girls. She called laughing her head off and said, "He knows exactly what my life is like". She was having a tough time and it was good to get her to laugh.
@michelepinsky49482 жыл бұрын
unfortunately me panicing got me stung, well. It was pretty much because after panicing I thought the wasp had gone since I saw it fly away. But it decided to fly behind me and crawl up my shirt =w=
@ssjmatt84243 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@simplica13 жыл бұрын
Omg micheal is so funny his so hilarious....
@debbiebousquet56773 жыл бұрын
I'm the stay-stiller 🤣🤣🤣
@annieclark9772 Жыл бұрын
GENIOUS!
@Polytunnel3 жыл бұрын
Genius.
@caralama083 жыл бұрын
you know your kids take after you, right? LOL. you are a genius:)
@victoriar97283 жыл бұрын
Hahahaha. Seen this with a green frog . Lol😅
@carolegustin3454 ай бұрын
Panicker! If a wasp comes my way, I’m off! My ass is just a blur! 😆. (Thanks Billy Connolly for that one! 😃).
@sallyforth93233 жыл бұрын
Total panicker, right here, not at all ashamed 🙋🏼♀️😂
@kimberlyharness80743 жыл бұрын
My 6yo cousin cries when she sees a wasp or a bee, she runs for her life lol
@nathantorresstanevil69583 жыл бұрын
Damn right my strategy is best lol
@soulsparkadventures3 жыл бұрын
Just in case anyone is interested, the blinds is for emergency workers in case of a crash or accident. The emergency worker can look into the plane to see if anyone is passed out in their seat.
@takumi20233 жыл бұрын
Im defo a panicker 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭
@decb8793 жыл бұрын
Nothing to fear but fear itself. My Mother was petrified of Bees and Wasps. I remember one outing to the local outdoor swimming pool. My Mum, bare footed started jumping around screaming "I've been stung. I've been stung" Panicing jumping around looking on the ground for the culprit. She found she'd trod on a lit cigarette butt.. Her foot, apparently, didn't hurt any more.
@MrNigelBriggs14 күн бұрын
I'm a total panicker. ..LOL Whether it's a wasp or some other nasty insect, I'm a dead duck!
@szendrich3 жыл бұрын
My little brother used to put himself to bed actually lol. My parents were so proud of him, and then my sister and I were actual demons that refused to sleep lol
@selenatellzeez25473 жыл бұрын
I was at my grandmas house. I had a fruit squash on a table a wasp flew near it. I’m usually a wafter...but this one kept coming back so I slowly became a total panicker and ran into the kitchen.
@jasmineday66913 жыл бұрын
"What I haven't done is heated the rest of the world!" Global Warming: (John Cena) Are you sure about that??
honestly the most relatable comedian ever 😂
I think him, Miranda Hart, Russel Howard and Jack Whitehall are the most relatable ones
@Mai Nyigguh Agreed!
@@taytumdolan2364 really that's what's funny to you, why?
Com into my hou...?shitgu..! Na
Taytum Dolan Russell Howard is trash
i start as a stay stiller, then i become a wafter, and eventually that turns in total panicker
JustBecause Gaming omg same except i miss out being a wafter, cause i dont want to hurt it 😂😂
He forgot the 4th one, the "leaver" I will just say nope, and I'm gone.
@@racoonsister now THIS is me
Same
Same😂😂😂
There is a fourth way: The Dodgers - when you try to do the matrix moves to avoid the wasp
I'm a doger then I turn into a total panicker, this guy just tells my everyday life!
I’m a combo of a total panicker and a dodger. Whenever a wasp enters my vicinity a literally do about 20 laps of my back garden looking like a total loonatic dodging under invisible branches like I’m in the matrix😅😅
I am a stay stiller, until it clearly doesn’t want to leave me alone, then I start dodging it. Once accomplished that I run away. No panicking, just leave the spot where it has been interested in me at.
Yep, and I'm totally a combo of all 4 😂😂😂
Michael gets more exercise in just one show than I do in a week
I'm American, & after a day of watching & hearing all of the political claptrap over here, watching Michael McIntyre is both a relief & a joy.
Also American, and I agree!
Me too thank the Lord it’s not too much longer to find out.
I agree.
And that would be not just in America. The world needs this man to show us how ridiculous homan beings, and, human nature, truly is.
Ditto!
If you’re British this Comedian is your every day life 😂😂
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He's more global then you think, I'm from israel and it's 100 percent 😄
I'm british american. Born and raised in america but my parents are british..I love michael, he makes me laugh every time. I hope you come to america Michael so I can watch your show in person..come to california michael..
You don't even have to be british, for him to be everyday.🤣🤣 Lol! I love him, he's great. 💟❤💜💚
My boyfriend introduced me to Michael McIntyre, when we broke up he was well out of my life. But not Michael, his comedy is for me everyday now 😂😂😂
Harry Potter : Wafter Hermione Granger : stay stiller Ron Weasley : total panicker
Me: Befriends it
just like with the devils snare in chamber of secrets 😂😂😂
Jk Rowling: the bee is gay
@@Tottington23 Trueee
@Ebonie 1 * Philosopher’s Stone. Chamber was the one with the big snake.
No matter how bad my day is Micheal always brings a smile 2 my face
Sam Watts I am watching now 23 September at 13.50 pm and I am on my 4th programme. Laughing out loud, the Dubai sketch was hilarious, The Pool sketch even more so and now Bees and Wasps. He is so good.
@@lyndakarpen4127 I literally can't get enough of him...got all his dvds and lost count of how much I've seen each 1 lol
Sam Watts hair washing now. My fave are 5=Spice and Waitrose.
He makes everyday occurrences hilarious.
Made my day 😂😂 his scream alone is hilarious
The great thing about his stories is that as a parent it makes you realise that just your kids are not actually the spawn of Satan, everyone else's kids are obviously exactly the same as yours :-)
I suggest searching up Montessori at home seriously worthhhhh it aaahh i couldn't imagine trying to parent this way i would end up shouting at punishing all the time if i didn't find out about Montessori in time
“Darling?” *DON’T YOU EVEN!*
He forgot the Avoiders and the Oblivious. Lol
I love how the title includes ‘stand up comedy’ and the first frame shows him sitting down xD
I have a 5 second threshold of increasingly nervous wafting, followed by silent but agile panicking. I reserve the vocal, unreserved panicking for when I am trapped indoors.
Big up the person moving the spotlight when he’s running 😂
I'm definitely the total panicker🤣 Even a ladybug makes me panic. I can't tolerate the buzzing noises of the insects' wings.
Me neitherrrr the noises make me feel icky
Lol what I'm afraid of is flies. I once saw a zoomed in photo of a fly on a nature program and I've been terrified ever since 😂😭🤦♀️
Iv seen this about 5 times and it still makes me laugh
Michael: You're not trying to hit it, you're just gonna move the air near you. And you'll know this is an area where you aren't particularly welcome. Me: Oh. I use that strategy for people instead of wasps and bees
Definitely the best comedian there is !! Everything he says is so true! Love the part about the bees and wasps, I’m a total panicker, and this is so relatable 😂
My young grandsons kept running in screaming bee's were following them (warm January day in North West USA). One bee came inside and when I put my hand out and let the bee climb on to be escorted outside the boys faces were priceless. They thought I was going to die right there and then
When his “Fine!” hits that high note of desperation 🤣
How to get rid of a headache.... watch one of these for five minutes and it’s gone.
I agree.❤❤❤❤❤
He is so relatable 😂😂😂
I, a wafter, recently chatted with a stay-stiller during a hike. I made this observation when an insect landed on me. Dude was like, DON'T. MOVE. I was like "What? Is there a snake? ... Oh, it's just a carpenter bee." I'm a wafting entomologist. I'm pretty sure, if it had landed on the other guy he'd have morphed into a Total Panicker immediately.
If you want to see a 100kg 186cm man panic and scream like a young girl, just introduce me to a clingy wasp.
A what man?
@@forevercomputing it's a transformation between opposites :p
When your allergic to bees and wasps you become a panicker and also sometimes a stay stiller 😂 I’m absolutely petrified of bees and wasps because I’m allergic. I didn’t mind them before I found out i was allergic
the fact that his jokes stretch across different stories is one of my fav thing
I am a stay stiller for bees. Best strategy for them. Even if they land on me I don't panic, they won't sting me because if they do they die. WASPS tho, they are bastards. They sting anything and everything. Doesn't matter if you stay still or not, they will sting you. So, I look for the closest exit and escape. If there is no exit currently available, I stay still and try and get the attention of a nearby wafter. They will waft it away leaving me free to promptly thank them and leave the room. I dub this, the best method. After all i have never been stung.
Alexandra Moss wafting is probably the best strategy because if you stay still and get stung once. It releases a pheromone that will get the others to sting also. That’s not fun
The sad thing is the one time i did get stung was by a dead wasp
@@Menarecuteaaa Ha! Wow, that is unfortunate. I'd be extremely pissed, if I were going to be stung, I'd at least like the opportunity to kill the bugger myself for revenge.
"Best strategy"? Look at 1:17. That's what all stay stillers think smugly :p
My dad is a wafter. Wafted the wasp one way, then the other, hitting the stinger both times.
The wasp story gave me a flashback of what happened at school when I was in 2nd grade. (True story) A wasp or hornet landed on the face of the kid sitting next to me. All the kids laughed or screamed. (Mixed reactions) The Teacher was watching and quickly said to him "Don't move...Just stay still and it won't hurt you." The poor kid sat perfectly still but terrified as the wasp took its time... crawling all over his little face. After about 30 seconds it crawled into one of his nostrils. Now everybody was screaming...including me. The poor kid starting clawing at his face as the wasp stung him in his sinus cavity. Teachers had to drag him out of the room kicking and screaming. They rushed him to the hospital but they never told the rest of us what happened to him. He never returned to school. We never knew if he died...or if his family just took him out of school. Maybe they moved after he recovered? That day changed me, and made me afraid of all bee's for the rest of my life. Imagine what the kid went through?
You never asked? 0.0
@@BloodyRoses666 They didn't tell me. Maybe he moved or maybe he died.?
horrific
You could look through the local paper archives for that year for obituaries or search history name and the area. That's an alarming story. Either way, not telling the kids what happened was a terrible way to handle that
He became a wasp
It's 3am and I'm shaking the whole bed crying from laughter. Especially the kids stuff. He is so accurate and observant.
Him complaining about his kids makes me realize how lucky my parents were lmao
One of the best-ever comedians we have ever had. Brilliant insight without vulgarity. AND!! getting better with age.
I have that Mother hearing. When you hear your child yell and you know it's play or pain. My poor baby girl got biten by a paper wasp and I knew what had happened straight away. Bees are fine, just move away slowly. Paper wasps are another story. A quick yet silent fleeing is the best technique. Thank you again and take care of yourself, Mate
Urgh! I accidentally knocked a nest when I was 8 and paper wasps stung the hell out of me.
@@JB-vd8bi I'm so sorry for you. They are bloody painful stings. My poor baby girl went down a slide at a public pool and got stung multiple times because there was a nest just under the edge. Her fingers just brushed passed them and out they flew. I just ran when I heard the scream. It was not a happy birthday party scream. The beauty of living in Australia XD Take care of yourself, Mate
WTH is a “paperwasp?” Never heard of them!
I’ve seen this so many times but I still laugh each and every single time.
This was me the other day 🤣 😂 outdoors during lunch.
So real, so funny
His impression of the Stay Still'ers is so damn funny. The way he says DONT WAFT IT is just so silly 🤣
I can never be a “stay stiller”… so funny to me since I’m a “panicker”! Michael is the best!
And for perspective, I’ve never been stung while being a total panicker!
I must admit I am a waffder, never been stung, never upgraded to total panicker. A past male friend of mine, may he RIP. 6ft 2", 16 stone, backed me up in a couple of bar fights. Surprised the hell out of me, he was a total panicker. I could not believe it, you would have thought someone was shooting bullets at him. I don't know whether it was a wasp or a bee, but as far as my friend was concerned it was a KILLER!
T Iger when you say “RIP” do you mean he died?
I know a guy thats similar but he's allergic is why he panics
Sounds like a good friend :3
Bees I can stand and will waft away. Wasp's I don't trust and I will hunt it down unless it leaves the area.
the stewardess, standing steadily before you: "Excuse me, is your seat belt on, in case of turbulence".
What a great way to start a day - thank you McIntyre Team - from NZ
I found out that the reason they want the blinds up, is in case there is an accident, emergency personnel will be able to see if people are alive, conscious etc, Michael is hilarious !!
CORRECT!
OMG I love this guy ,he is so funny !!!😅😂🤣
Haven't laughed so loud in my life!!!
You can literally see some people crying of laughter 🤣 that’s how funny he is
Yesterday I was stung by a wasp and instantly went from life-long wafter to utter-panicker.
Poor you
Lol this is one of my very favorites lol Michael is amazing. Just love him
laughting so hard might need a depend lol thank you so much great start of the day :)
I'm somehow a wafter, stay stiller and total panicker at the same time. 😂
Pure gold this guy! 😆🤣😍
Me: Stay stiller My brother: total panicker My dad: wafter
He touches the 'funny bone strings' everytime...🗣👂🤣
Bones don’t have strings. The “humerus” IS the funny bone - hence the connection & the pun.
You're brilliant Michael!! Love you
Best way to start your day😂Love M McIntyre.
I can relate to all of this, best comedian ever.
I go to bed every night with Michael,i sleep better with a good laugh, my all time fav comedian
OMG me tooooo!!
Omg his description of living with children: this is my LIFE!!!!!
One of the best ever
Without a doubt one of the funniest men on the planet, and he can do this without getting himself in trouble with "any" woke or minority group. Just soooo good. Cheers and thank s. This crazy world needs people such as he to lighten up and de stress, for a while at least.
In the summer time I am always in the Park. And whenever I see the bees I panic 😹😹
He's so right on about kids and veggies!!
You forgot the 4th one. The "bee and wasp friend". I went from being the total panicker, to stay stiller, to the friend in a single day, despite having been stung badly 5 times in my life. A trial by fire really.
One time i sat so perfectly still that a wasp crawled in my nose. I didn’t get stung but did revisit my way of coping with wasps.
My friend is that 1 impossible child. She’s really well behaved, does what she’s told, prefers fruit and veg over sugary or salty foods. She’ll go to be earlier than most kids our age and showers almost everyday. Damn, maybe I’m just imagining my opposite self.
Best of the best bar none!
This is my favorite story!!!! 😂
🤣🤣 Definitely the last one
7:36 oh and flush the- you know... 🤣🤣🤣
Is this your poo? kids: no wife: Don't you even!
Yeah I have a fear of wasps and bees 😂 completely accurate
This skit reminds me of a story my grandmother and these days mother, every time the temperature goes over 30, used to tell about my grandmothers grandmother and her sister. Sitting in the shade of a fruit tree, probably apples, wasps crawling all over their faces as they babbled away for hours. My mother asked how they could ignore the wasps that easily. Their answer? "What wasps?"
The leaving the house situation - absolutely acurate, apart from the brother, who will instandly start to cry, when we shout up the stairs that we're leaving without his twin, whereas the older child is immediately on it's way to the car.
Me when I Fall down 🤣😂🤭
I just get flattered that the wasp mistaked me for a flower
I’m a total panicker, especially here in Japan with the Giants Japanese Hornet!
Brilliant! :)
I'm a stay stiller. Never a wafter or a panicker. Lucky that nothing's landed on me. Might panic. It would be so uncool. Lol
I’m a runner 😂
I'm staystiller then upgrade to panicker but not as dramatic as he showed 😂
I’m a stay stiller...just frozen out of pure fear haha
It’s gunna land and go in your ear! Move lol 😂
Makes my day@
A great comedian :)
In P.E I once got stung by a bee and some girl in my class screamed.I just stood there. Then I just went:...ow Then I got to miss P.E for the rest of the day😎✌️
I sent this to my niece who has two little girls. She called laughing her head off and said, "He knows exactly what my life is like". She was having a tough time and it was good to get her to laugh.
unfortunately me panicing got me stung, well. It was pretty much because after panicing I thought the wasp had gone since I saw it fly away. But it decided to fly behind me and crawl up my shirt =w=
😂😂😂
Omg micheal is so funny his so hilarious....
I'm the stay-stiller 🤣🤣🤣
GENIOUS!
Genius.
you know your kids take after you, right? LOL. you are a genius:)
Hahahaha. Seen this with a green frog . Lol😅
Panicker! If a wasp comes my way, I’m off! My ass is just a blur! 😆. (Thanks Billy Connolly for that one! 😃).
Total panicker, right here, not at all ashamed 🙋🏼♀️😂
My 6yo cousin cries when she sees a wasp or a bee, she runs for her life lol
Damn right my strategy is best lol
Just in case anyone is interested, the blinds is for emergency workers in case of a crash or accident. The emergency worker can look into the plane to see if anyone is passed out in their seat.
Im defo a panicker 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭
Nothing to fear but fear itself. My Mother was petrified of Bees and Wasps. I remember one outing to the local outdoor swimming pool. My Mum, bare footed started jumping around screaming "I've been stung. I've been stung" Panicing jumping around looking on the ground for the culprit. She found she'd trod on a lit cigarette butt.. Her foot, apparently, didn't hurt any more.
I'm a total panicker. ..LOL Whether it's a wasp or some other nasty insect, I'm a dead duck!
My little brother used to put himself to bed actually lol. My parents were so proud of him, and then my sister and I were actual demons that refused to sleep lol
I was at my grandmas house. I had a fruit squash on a table a wasp flew near it. I’m usually a wafter...but this one kept coming back so I slowly became a total panicker and ran into the kitchen.
"What I haven't done is heated the rest of the world!" Global Warming: (John Cena) Are you sure about that??
This is a meme!
🤣