How to Know If You Have Real Friends (And What to Do If You Don't)
What if being lonely were actually a sign of being an interesting, emotionally sincere and thoughtful person? What if, in a world of superficial alliances, lonely was just what a more serious person tended naturally and legitimately to be?
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“ How many friends do you have?
Most of us would rush to think of a high number. To have to admit to having very few is - in our societies - a marker of shame and failure.
But what if being lonely were actually a sign of being an interesting, emotionally sincere and thoughtful person? What if, in a world of superficial alliances, lonely was just what a more serious person tended naturally and legitimately to be?
With this in mind, we might take an unusual test that seeks to explore how few friends we might actually have. “
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"true friends see your mistakes and warn you, false friends notice your mistakes in the same way and point them out to others"
But what if they're doing it so often so that you feel bad for your mistakes? Because it seems like you are just your mistakes? Because you've got so big problems in your life?
best friends being painfully honest are the best ones
@@SpecShadow even if they're hurting you with the truth? Because it's not them that's hurting you honestly, but the truth is. They're completely innocent if the truth hurts. So I guess you're completely right. I guess they do feel bad if the truth hurts. At least my partner does if he says something that's honest but really hurtful for me. It hurts him just as much I guess.
It's worth mentioning that a strong bond with someone also means being comfortable with uncomfortable questions
God dmned rght.
I found getting cancer a great way to determine I had no real friends. They all faded into the background like Homer Simpson into that hedge.
I’m so sorry!! There are people who value true friendships and it’s always when it’s darkest you find out who they are. ❤
So sorry you went through that. Big hug.
I am sorry. I hope you find people in ur life you love you regardless
I was always the friend who came to visit, travelled to them, sent cards etc. A couple of years ago I started questioning my own understanding of friendship and just stopped being the first to contact them. End of story: I haven’t heard from all but one of those „friends“ in years.
I understand you completely. I've had the same thing happen to me !
Same
Same, and kept falling for the bs. No more. Always have been. Always will be alone.
Im in the process of that now and my friend of 15 years is silent
Definitely can happen! Some of those friends in theory will at first not write out of habit. If you were the one who reaches out always, they might think you're busy or not in a good mood because typically you reach out. But there comes a time when they will reach out to ask if you're still alive, and if they prefer not to do that then maybe they're indeed not your friend. Other times too, it does not make them a terrible person that you should forever ban, but may be that they think of you of more of a "very rare catch up" kind of friend and they only have space for very few "always on" friends in their life. Still sad though, especially with life long friendships. I had that happen to me, I'm sure most of us had.
Very few people offer a space safe enough for someone to reveal all of the authentic insecurities, complex emotions, and thoughts that arise in us. Even our own minds may not be a safe place to do so. When we find someone willing to accept us and communicate in a helpful, empathic way -- we should hold on tight and cherish them.
Upvoted 💓
You are so right
Yep definitely have 0 friends under this definition lol
I'm not sure I've ever had a friend like that. So, I guess I agree.
But some ppl would ditch u because they are just way too insecure to be intimate with someone, or maybe they are just too short-sighted or immature enough to not see the values of that
I have never had any real friends and by these measures and my age, I probably never will. But God bless those who have found this illusive treasure.
A friend can be of any age, don't give up
@@blessedk756 Thank You so much. May The Creator Bless You 🙏
Maybe we can be friends
Neither do I.
Kind of depressing to see I was a real friend to others but none were to me.
Exactly, same.
Same here. Stopped being the first to contact them: did not hear from anyone in years.
What happened?
Sorry to hear that😢...
I used to think like this until I realized that I'm not as good of a friend as I thought I was, just highly insecure. In fact I think most people who think this way are so
I think the entire problem with society today is people have forgotten how to be alone and would rather stay in superficial friendships than enjoy their own company. It’s lonely at first but so rewarding once you realise you’re more authentically yourself when you’re alone, no one is influencing your choices or beliefs.
So true
But after awhile it will start to get lonely and you will start to miss other people's company
I really wonder where all this preaching about "it's better to be lonely" stuff is coming from
@@jocelyn5512Agree , I have been there and it’s a terrible experience .Peopel need a company no matter how alone they can be there are times where you just want a person to be beside you .
💯 💯 💯 💯 That is where I am at 51. I’m in the process of saying goodbye to a “friend” because she is the same age as me, but I realized she’s clinging on to me out of loneliness, and she basically refuses to believe that I’m alone but not lonely, and that I say I don’t want a man because I’ve been hurt when in fact I have peace and have no need for a guy. I got tired of not being believed and don’t feel she gets where I’m coming from at all. So, since I don’t have loneliness issues, I will set her free.
It’s also the other way around then! How much are we willing to be that kind of special friend to the people around us?
Excellent point!
Yes, the first thing that crossed the mind once the video was done making its point. I started thinking how I've been around other people I have met or spent my time with. Did I think they were my friends or could be? Did I consciously or unconsciously changed my behaviour towards them because I thought they could never be my friends. How things exist in this sort of tandem - one moment being totally free, seeding with possibilities and the other fixed, definite in their manner and consequences.
1- I can't know what I don't understand about the people that call me a friend. No one can, anyway. 2- I think I would not have problem accepting some common forms of social "disgrace". I feel dangerously close to many of them. However, there are also some others I don't have the stomach to resist close to me. It would vary case to case. 3- I have always been open to listen to relationship problems from my friends. I'm not the best to help, though. 4- I would love to share and compare sexual perceptions with my friends. In fact is something I may need to heal, but its not allowed. 5- I love the idiot in most of my friends. A few people have dangerous idiots, but they are not common.
I’ve been a great friend and gotten repeatedly reamed. Sadly in 2023 being good to people makes them mark you as a sucker to use and discard as they feel inclined.
yes... or to ourselves
Very few people know how to be actual friends.
I see a "real" friend as someone who recognizes who you are at your core, regardless of mistakes, insecurities, and differences, while honoring the bond between both parties with loyalty and truth. If we treated friendship more like a scale, the only friends I'd like to have would be considered "close" friends as I'm slow to call someone my friend.
"Someone who recognizes who you are, at your core, regardless of mistakes". Love this! This is a great definition of a good friend. As opposed to someone who says, "you aren't who I thought you were." Yeah - l was pretty hurt at the time 😂
I've had a long period of depression, I presently sit in isolation, I've cut everybody off because I was being judged for my state of mind. My job is to fix me and if the support isn't there then I choose to be alone. When I fully recover I'll build new friendships with stronger foundations.... Remember, everyday is a school day.
Hey, I really, really hope you get better. I had an online friend with the exact thing happened. It was my first friendship with a boy (I'm a girl). It went great for 3 months , we were each other's support systems. I tried to be there for him in his declining mental health. But he cut himself off from everyone including me to just be alone. I know where he came from...and where you come from too. We all are just messed up inside. But remember, even if you feel that the whole world is apathetic towards your struggles - there are people who care. You won't believe this, I know, but it's true. This depression scrambles our brains and makes us think we're all alone...but we're not!! I know that you come to a point where hurting is so frequent that it feels familiar - almost comfortable. But remember - having a wound in your mind is not the way you're meant to live !! If I may venture to give you some advice - try to help someone else struggling. Listen to their woes, their sufferings... help them heal. Not to sweep your pain under the rug, but to take your mind off of them. These wounds will heal if we nurse them properly. But do you know what we do ? We dig into them! We injure ourselves further and relish the pain, for that's all we feel nowadays. But remember - bit by bit, we will get better...and look back on these times with our hearts full of sympathy for ourselves...just don't give up😊
Sorry for my ravings🙈
@@GNDeshpande Not at all, it's very kind of you to give up your time and advice 😊
If it made you feel better...my time was put to good use Also, I want you to know that when you isolate yourself - it deeply hurts the people close to you... making them wonder if it was their fault...it may be, may be not. But just let them keep checking in on you. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with this - but it might be because I've spent two months just going over that failed online friendship and grieving the loss and worrying myself sick about how he was faring... I got too attached. And I can't talk about this with anyone. So here I am venting to a total stranger... feels rather nice
@@GNDeshpande For your own well being be careful not to try and rescue someone, some people don’t want to be helped and some are just energy vampires. Always put yourself 1st then, and only then can you offer your hand in support. It certainly helps when people show they care. I have a battle to contend with, as long as I have focus I will win. I feel you are an empath, be careful how you tread.
People come and go in life. A true, lifetime friendship is very very rare to find. In the end... "The best company is that of our own." [OSCAR WILDE]
This video has made feel me at the same time grateful for the two friends I've got and infinitely blessed to have become my own best friend 😊
Same 💯
Exactly!✨
The last line ❤
I've been a terrible friend to the most important people in my life. This video has completely opened my eyes. I really needed this. Thank you.
Fear of not being understood keeps all emotions inside 😢
The flower that stays shut can't be admired for what it is.
I like this!
Honestly, I think it depends on a scale: Best Friend > Close Friend > Casual Friend > Acquaintance > Stranger > Disliked Person > Enemy > Worst Enemy (Indifference isn't in the chart, because in all the former categories you'd still care about another person either in a positive or negative way).
Great point of view. My issue is that I always tend to consider people more ahead in the chart than where they really are.
Dear God... I'm sorry to hear that happened to you... Why do you think this happens only to vew few people, while most of the average population might have at least in between 10-20 friends (covering best, close and casual ones). I think being abused and/or bullied, plus raised in a toxic environment might also influence if you can make friends or not...
yesss
Wow, this is exactly the same scale I have! Except I try not to have enemies, I just call them people who are removed from my circle.
@@emiyagus1619 I really don't know. Trying to figure that one out. It has been a lifelong challenge to be honest. I notice that people tend to be selective and I just usually don't make the final cut for the inner circles. I always kinda fell through the cracks of friendships and even close family circles through the years. Sometimes I feel like I am just politely tolerated. And weirdly enough is not because I'm idle concerning feeding relationships. Someone described me once as the different, weird but cool person. Maybe that's the general perception and people just prefer other types of character, even if they have more difficult or even colder personalities. At this point I just got extremely tired to fight against that fact, to be honest and will let it flow. I believe people just confuse being genuine with weird. By default I am a happy person and don't need much to feel that way. Oh and I'm one of those cases that when people call is 98% of the time because they need something, 1% is marketing sales 😅 and the 1% exception is during my birthday. Lol.
Ended a few friendships last week, I still don’t regret it one bit and that was making me feel bad but these questions really made me deeply think about them and indeed none of the “friends” I had passed any. Now I know why I don’t regret moving on with my life.
Happy for you bro,
👏👏👍
A few people in my life are like this, i feel very lucky. Yet sometimes i still feel lonely, and even good friends seem so far away in those moments
So trueee ..i guess we can't ever escape loneliness!
I only have 1 and she lives 10,000 miles away but the distance doesn't matter. We have each other's backs and there's no bs jealousy, competition or even undermining remarks. I cut off the people who practice such childishness. Went through a sea change and decided that life is too short for fake friends.
I have no friends. They all moved away ot passed away. The people my age Ive met recently are still drinking and partying every weekend and Im not into that any more. I’ve realised there are a whole lot of adults out there that still have a high school mentality in many ways. Im past the point of lonely and just accept it now.
I'm sorry to hear your friends passed away. I felt melancholic when I classmate died, she was the best friend of one of my few close friends. It was heart breaking because of the way she passed away. I wish she could have achieved many things in life. She was trying to become a great teacher.
I felt more lonely and isolated when I had friends, now I have zilch and never feel lonely or isolated 😁
Same.
Build emotional connections from the get go. Real friendship comes from Emotional connection. Stuff like asking open-ended questions, listening with the intent to understand creates those connections
it doesn't, people just use you as a listening ear, free therapist you asking them questions about themselves to get to know them better doesn't automatically translate to them doing the same for you
Real emotional connections require 2 active participants
@creative45630 it does require two participants that want it. Communicating to connect weeds out those who don't
@@FruityHachi We communicate to connect to weed out those who do not reciprocate
I stand corrected. Its listening with undivided attention.
Real friends are supposed to be the ones you can count on no matter what. These days though, I think nobody has real friends anymore..
Found out that the hard way and I agree 100%. Worst part is that I know I would be there for them.
"No matter what" is an intolerably high bar. And nothing has changed in personal relationships. People are as fickle, loyal, selfish, mercurial, reliable and unreliable as ever. Friendship is something you build over time. But it is never impregnable. It needs a certain amount of effort and maintenance. The "no matter what" thing is ultimately meaningless and silly.
I realized that by being my true open self to just about everyone I interact with regularly has me surrounded with even more friends than I thought.
After watching this video I can successfully say that I am left with ZERO friends. Thanks for the reality check though.
i'm alone but never lonely.
💯
Thank you for this video, it’s a relief! I teach adults ESL online (one on one) and recently I told a student that I was moving back to the States from France because my French in-laws are deceased. My student asked me won’t we (my husband and I) miss all of our friends in France and without thinking I said “to be honest, we don’t have any friends here.” My student really judged me and I felt awful and awkward. I ended up spending the next 10 minutes trying to justify why my husband and I are busy with our toddler, work remotely, etc but it felt too late to appear normal again. This video makes me feel better about acknowledging my lack of friends and even less embarrassed.
This list is a lot to ask of people today. This list basically narrowed it down to mom and therapist.
I find that how friends react to each other's folly is not necessarily an indicator of true friendship but rather a learned coping mechanism. I have a few close friends who have a hard time tolerating 'silly' behaviour. One of them has a strict mom and the other one is autistic. I try and treat them with compassion: when they don't understand something goofy I said or did, it's not because they don't like or understand me. It's just how they are.
This kind of relationship takes commitment to form in time…built trust little by little. I haven’t kept any of my friends and I hold myself responsible for it. I just didn’t keep in touch and I don’t know why. But I hold in my heart and I cherish those people who showed me in my past what a friend can be. I can never ever speak a bad word of them…only kind words.
Humans are imperfect, ourselves included. To be a friend, one must at a minimum accept imperfection and ideally embrace and understand it. That’s practically impossible for most people who are caught up in their own self criticism and self doubt. Here’s my haiku to true friendship and love- To embrace, at least Accept, imperfection and To receive the same.
Essentially, I had 3 close friends that I could always talk about anything with, for the first 24 years of my life. Then almost simultaneously they moved all away and or started families and now I spend vast amounts of time alone. And like this it had been for 6 years and frankly, my life means little to me without them
Don't give up, it might take some time but you will be able to reorient your life towards other meaningful things independent of particular people and you will be able to make new friends
Many single persons or without kids experience this and I advise you to try an make some new friends who live closely and/or have more time and energy than new parents with small kids
Courage. When one day is over it can take a while for the cold night to pass. Just make sure that when the sun rises again you are facing the light and walking towards all the truth it brings. God bless.
Am I the only one who couldn't wait to read the comments section to see the views of others as to this subject
I don’t rush to say zero, but that number (0) is there… staring me down. 😂
This reminds me of the talk about the purpose of friendship. From that perspective “Purpose doesn't have to ruin friendship. And In fact the more we define what a friendship might be for the more we can focus on what we should be doing with every person in our lives. Or indeed the more we can helpfully conclude that we shouldn't be with them in the first place.”
Real friends indeed show themselves in good and bad times. Also in a therapeutic journey the relevance of having real friends is stressed. I went to the Amsterdam School of Life store. There I bought three items: the newest book of Alain de Botton, the book ‘the Myth of normal’ by Gabor Maté (which was great because I was so much into his work on trauma with a big T and smakl t, like school bullying) and a bag from The School of Life. Just when I left the store I saw what was the text on it: ‘ I stand still and that is progress’. (In Dutch). A quote from Berthold Brecht. Such a coincidence. Because it is so similar to my name, Bregje. And that is what I am doing: standing still, which is terrifying of course but perhaps necessary. And now it will be clear who my friends are. Probably no more than three indeed.
I have none in other people, then. Don't worry, me, I got you 😌
I LOVE SCHOOL OF LIFE, please keep up with these videos! Best wishes!
I have zero family and zero friends and I couldn't be happier! Solitude, tranquility, and serenity are divine! Being alone equals pure freedom and bliss!
I do feel like i have friends that care, i just always feel like they don't care enough or i am always the one to ask to hang out. Like i care more for them then they for me
You might gain from asking them why they never reach out to you...
Bingo
@@defj660 they are usually too busy (work, school or other friends)
Well, according to the video, it's not that I am a total failure for being too this or not enough of that, but that I have a high bar of standards to measure how much I value quality friendships over shallow ones. It still doesn't solve the problem, but at least it invites me to quit believing that I deserve misery.
The only friend I have is me and I am fine with that. I am the only person who I can count on when the chips are down or pat myself on the back when I have a great breakthrough without having a jealous agenda about it. The worst thing I found I could do is try to create friends by being a friend. As long as the energy flows in their direction all is good. When there is a need for a change of energy flow they become participants in the game of whack-a-mole. There is so much empowerment knowing I have my back. There is no wasted emotional energy wondering if someone you helped earlier is capable of giving you a hand or shoulder to rely on. If you are open and honest you will always run into someone you can rely on for the moment and usually that is all you need.
Thanks so much for your well-written, thoughtful comment. It's the one I can most relate to so far. I especially appreciate the part about worst outcome being to follow the advice of "to have a friend, be a friend". Years of giving and giving of myself, my time, money, help, listening to problems with understanding, and willingness to drop everything to "be there" for others, without ever being nosy, or pushy; and never needing, or even wanting, anything in return, has been my style for a lifetime. It makes me happy to give, and know I've made someone happy, or made their lives a little easier. But at age 71, now, I realize the neighbors I've been a friend to for the past nine years, still don't treat me like a friend. They keep saying, "Just call if you need anything." But I realize they're only offering out of a sense of obligation to "repay me". For years, I've been helping out with babysitting (they had a newborn when they moved in, and now have four kids); transportation, showing how to garden, remembering birthdays and holidays with gifts and money (they have only one low income job, and stay-at-home mom); picking up the older kids at school if the two littlest ones are sick; buying groceries for them when I see food on sale; buying clothes and toys for the kids at thrift stores, (to save the mom from so much "dumpster diving"). They've had the kids bring me little gifts of homemade cookies, and cards, and invited me for a cup of tea a couple of times. And for the past four years whenever they ask if there's anything they can do for me, my constant answer has been, "Well, what I'd REALLY like is for you all to come up to the trails behind the college where the kids can ride their bikes away from traffic, and play frisbees and walk down to the creek. Or, we could go on a picnic by a great fishing access I know of." The college is only four miles from our condos, and I would take the bikes in my own car, because they don't have room; the trails are used by very few people, and I know the kids would love it, because the only place they ride now, is in our cul-de-sac. But in four years, they've never had one or two hours of time to take me up on my invitation. They've scheduled numerous times, but always canceled at the last minute. So, I've stopped asking. I realize they appreciate my usefulness as a neighbor, but don't think of me as a friend. Except their little kids actually treat me like a friend. They all talk to me non-stop, simultaneously, and loudly, when they see me outside, each one trying to get my attention, and wanting to show me some cool spider web, or new weed in my garden; or how the cuttings I helped them plant are getting "SO BIG!" in their own little garden. The parents have no interest in gardening whatsoever, so it's amazing to me how excited the kids are about it. They love using my shovels, pruners, and trowels; digging up stones, and finding earthworms, and everything is as amazing to them as it still is to me!
@@varonadee6980 Neighbors are the worst friends. A couple years ago at Thanksgiving time neighbors wife had her shoulder replaced and I had been taking her to her physical therapy appointments and bringing her back (I am retired). So thinking I could do some shopping for them I said is there anything else I can do? She said yeah, you can cook Thanksgiving dinner. So I agreed thinking I wouldnt have to eat alone on Thanksgiving again this year. She gave me a list of seven things to make including the turkey, ambrosia, real mashed potatoes and candied sweet potatoes. When I delivered the dinner to them they offered to make a plate for me to eat at home...I declined and left. And the next day the husband said the gravy was a little thin. I never heard thank you. It sounds like you are being the parent those kids need. If you get kids interested in things young many times they will do them when adults.
I am my own best friend. I have zero other than that. I thought I had a couple of close friends for decades, but it turned out I was greatly mistaken. To quote Charles Bukowski " If you want to find out who your friends are, get yourself a jail sentence."
I'm sorry to hear that. I really hope you keep moving forward in life regardless this. And if you have the chance, meet new people.
@@blimjones3004 appreciate that, however I rather enjoy my solitude these days. I feel like an observer these days l look at other people as a primatologist views chimpanzees.
Coming out as trans very quickly made it clear who my real friends are. And for those I've met since then, I've felt more comfortable sharing all the awkward parts of me in six months than I ever did with the decades-old friends who left.
Freak.
Me too ... Nothing shows u the real ones like coming out
@@green_daddy6074 Dude, what the fuck?! Did that make you feel better?
@@Abrikosmanden Yes, it did actually. Did that make you feel worse?!?! I'm sorry I have inner-peace and can be happy with myself in the mirror
All do respect, you need psychological help from a professional who understands this isn’t normal.
Someone better tell Facebook.
so true.
I consider the word "friend" to be a very intimate and trustworthy title for people...its as close to my heart as family. I can count my friends on one hand, and that's fine. The rest are acquaintances who may come or go. They may support or not. They are here for a season and I appreciate them during that season, but if they have to go, I'm not upset. Having a lot of "friends" isn't as important as having ACTUAL friends, and if those people aren't actual friends...just let them go🙂
This is how I have always determined if someone is my friend. I strive to find friends that I can be my real self around.
None, Zero, Nada. All my friends have passed. One left, by no really, he is everyone's friend
Any advice?
I have like 2 friends that never send me a message if i don't. It's pretty sad, I have to admit.
My current 2 close friends mostly text me once a week! 😮💨 At least they are honest about what's going on in their lives.
@@blimjones3004 texting once a week is way more than me aha
@@blimjones3004i am like ur friend. In fact, once a week is good rather than once some months. I also have a thing that i only meet my friend a day per week as my introvert ass can't bear more than that
I have no friends... but I only have myself to blame... insomnia for over 20 years... Yes, I have a few acquaintances, but I wouldn't bother them with any issues, or get deep in conversation... But I work on myself, that's all I can do... get better, sharper, more focused... without getting too stressed, lol Great video ;-)
I literally have 1 friend in this world but I love her so much she means to me than all other friends ive ever had.
Thank you for this! I have lived and worked in Los Angeles for about 17 years! I have two friends! My X and his husband! Interestingly enough I met someone who lives 6,000 miles away who is my mad mega love! It is what it is!!! If you can't change the environment change yourself!
I feel this just makes one appreciate the few people who really matter even more. Even if that is just one's self.
Thank you so much for this. Bless you. 🙏🏻💙
This description was so frank & empathetic of how we are as hunans❤ Thank you Alain de Botton and School of life
learn how to become the best friend/company of your own self, then you will never have to feel insecure about "not having a real friend" from others.
💯❤️
that lone dragon fly buzzing in the streetlamp :) ... is how i feel... when i feel lonely.
I love this one.
A Friendship that is worthy of the name. ❤
This was comforting.
Super Vid. Blessed with 2 xx Loved the visuals !
A surprise for me was in 2020, when a friend of 30 years died, somewhat unexpectedly. He wasn't really old enough to be passing away. I was surprised to see that I didn't cry, nor was I really "very sad". I thought very, very well of him, and I enjoyed the times we saw each other, very much. But it wasn't like when my mother died. Previously, I would have guessed that it would have upset me much more.
The only friend that I can think of when answering these questions is my therapist! And i haven't even shown her certain parts of myself.. It's funny how I used to think i had real friends just because they did the bare minimum
this was very relieving. thank you for creating it .
Born alone, live alone, die alone. we all live life alone. If you don't know how to handle aloneness you haven't learnt anything about life. No one will ever understand you, no one understands anyone else. Once childish illusions evaporate you find most friendships in your lifetime are superficial. People only try to make relationships of any kind to try and meet their needs, not because they find you so fascinating. Once your way of being is not determined by anything outside of yourself there is no such thing as loneliness and being alone becomes beautiful. You have a space which no one can invade and you can be content with yourself. Finally, I have never felt the need to discuss my sex life with anyone else, it's private, and I have no interest in hearing about anyone else's.
Friendship is not just about getting or having or expecting something. It is something which is a tow way communication of our feelings and perspectives towards life. You have to give what you expect from the next person. Although whaat i personally felt was that all the names in my friend list got one by one strike through 😢. I certainly felt as if i need to understand me only in a better way ig ❤️
I'm alone, but not lonely. I'm the one that choses to end friendships, so I'm also alone by choice. I no longer have any lopsided relationships where I was always the giver. Even with my brother and dad, after my mom passed I tried to fill a role of caring daughter, sister. But, they didn't need it or want it, so I've cut way back. I treat them the way they treat me, so no reaching out unless they do, and no more inquiry into their lives since they don't ask me of mine. There has to be balance of give/take. You need to especially be careful if you are a giver.
this made me realize just how lonely and friendless i am at the moment.
I have the the best-test friend.. I love her so much..
Yet another beautifully informative video.
This video made me feel less lonely, realising this is a very common feeling. I always try and find deeper connections rather than shallow conversations and friendships. I lost friends due to that. I was always the one who initiated and reached out and it wasn't mutual. Everyone deserves a connection that feels like real friendship, but good things usually take time :')
Worth thinking about❤
Just confirms what I already knew and that is I have less than 5 friends at any point in time.
I have come to an understanding that to have a true and real friend is luxury not every can afford. I was in an illusion that I have many friends however as you grow old you understand that they are not friends but acquaintances and its perfectly fine, however the painful part is people who you thought are your real friends do not reciprocate the same feelings like you and one day you know that you never had a real friend. But fortunately I have some one who gets excited for me everytime i come home from work or i wake in morning and that someone is not human😂 and i am glad i have him in my life.
I recently found that I’ve been falling into a trap of making more friends rather than making good friends. I’m excited to take a step back and intentionally surround myself with good people
I loved this. Thank you so much🙏 It is also inspirational about how to be a better friend for others
Wonderful!🤗🤗
Thank you!
I grew up tuff as nails and as a result, I developed the skin of a rhino. That didn't serve well going forward. When my wife left me for another man and took my children, I ended up in hospital sick. I lost a stone weight in a month. One night I went out for drink holding a pint of stout. Three stools away, a drunk was telling similar story to mine to the barman who was shaking head, (do i care) There an then I had epiphany. I need professional counselling. That drunk saved my life. Now I love everyone and my life is totally different from the hard man I was brought up to be. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope it may help someone.
Nothing in this comment just my thoughts that i want to remove from my head, you may skip the comment 'I dont have friends because maybe i don't have that charisma or i am not interesting enough to make someone my friend. Maybe it is because i remain in my head all the time and don't have presence of mind while communicating. Maybe i am too insecure about myself and try to be someone who i am not. Maybe i am too nice and try to be as nice and smiling person rather than just being honest. I anaylse it and found that people who have more friends and have deep bonds with them in very less time are the person who Don't 'try' to be nice, they just be themselves. Maybe i over analaysed it but i find it very strange. People like/love/remember those people who don't 'try' to be nice but they just be themselves.'
I send out my weirdo vibes and somehow I manage to gather a few close.
Same buddy I struggle with this too .😢
I wish I could meet you hahaha because I'm just like you. I have only two close friends, but I haven't found a way to talk about everything with them. They don't overthink like I do and they are somehow stuck in their jobs.
Less is more since social media friendship
Real friends are the ones who accepts who you truly are without condemnation and they also reveal their true selves to you without you condemning them. True friends also truly care for you. They care about your well-being, they support your growth and detest what can harm you without being too nosey. You're extremely lucky if you found one. But if you still haven't found one, be that kind of friend and soon you'll find one.
Incredible & Concise! ☺️
Strangely enough, one of my very best friends, I made on Facebook. True story. Go figure.😊
I always think that I have too few friends. But the friends I do have actually fullfill all these points. Maybe that is the reason why I have so few friends in the first place. I do not tolerate superficial friendships. I want my friends to be close.
When you have lots of interesting hobbies (like reading, travelling, yoga, watching movies, exploring new foods) your life can also be very fullfilling and rich even without real friends❤Lets strive for this😍😍😍
Surprisingly i already knew all that. But thank you for the confirmation 😊
So, under this pretense, I am totally friendless. Even if I am entirely absolved of societal shame, it still doesn't make it hurt any less, as the loneliness is palpable. I just want a single friend.
Get yourself a dog. There's no truer friend in the world than a canine companion.
@@huckfinn4260very agree
Wow, great masterpiece
this really speaks truths. he really nailed it.
I thought ‘oh this video won’t be relevant to me’ but watched it anyway.. OMG.. I can’t believe how many little gems I could adopt from the video.
This video confirmed my belief that I have no friends.
Right. So, no friends. As expected.
Do people in this existence have the patience (and in certain cases intelligence) to build and/or maintain friendships? Like most everything, it depends. How much skill, will, and/or luck(especially) do you have to navigate human interaction?
excellent and calming
I’m glad this video didn’t mention that being the one that always reaches out first is any kind of indication of a true friend… Just because you are that person doesn’t mean you are a good friend. And then to test your friend’s by not being the one to initiate contact so you can see who your true friends are and then no longer being their friend based off their inaction is not what a true friend would do… that’s passive aggressive and petty. If my friends based my worthiness of their friendship off this then I’d be more isolated and alone then I’ve already made myself as a form of self punishment for not feeling I deserve them
idk man, depends what gives you that emotional connection. Like some people would genuinely only feel that connection when being reached out to(especially those that never reached out to others). And some would love that from time to time even though they would reach out a lot.
Only one name kept popping up. He was the first friend I made on my very first job. A decade later he’s still the person I know I can trust in my darkest and brightest hours. Cherish those friendships while you can. Your last day with them in unknown
Drat. I have no female friends who I can trust everything to & one who is a 7/10. I tell my husband everything and feel he is my soft place, safe place to be. It wasn't always that way, however as I age & things get harder he is always there.❤
Well after all , i can say i got the frnds that many of us desire ....and i am thankful for that...tried and tested 😀
The illustration for this video is 10/10 !