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i brought you a present it's the worst christmas movie i've ever seen from the guys who made the anti-masker movie! enjoy!!
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thanks for watching!
comment "i stan egg nog” ur reading this
#kurtisconner
Let’s spread the word of Jesus🥰 but NOT to CANADA🔫😡
hello random check mark that i have never seen nor heard of
i know this guy!
😂😂😂
@@ayo32wtf is the checkmark for?
OT!
The most realistic thing in this movie is the government thinking a video of a woman talking about laws with farmers wandering aimlessly in the background would go viral.
Leslie Knope did it better
Kurtis reuploads my vids and has made millions of my hard work! and never has given me credit.
@@ville__lemme fix that for you: Kurtis re-uploads my videos and makes millions off of my hard work. And has never given me credit! You illiterate-
Followed shortly by someone from a middle of nowhere town remembering the last time a federal politician showed up
@@ville__ sure buddy
As someone who is 23, the idea of dating a 14 year old is absolutely unimaginable, disgusting, unhinged, and INSANE
He wasn't dating her then. Only grooming her as a trusted older brother figure, presumably
@@willywonka7812 ive also heard, allegedly, that he was her youth pastor and thats how they met. oh boy.
@@RoseWhitmoreYou know bro pulled the “God planned for us to meet”
I'm fourteen and I wouldn't even date a fourteen year old 😭
@@Peevee-xs4xqur so real for that (im also 14)
"Why can't I make friends with a 14-year old and then celebrate her 18th birthday by proposing to her? That's not weird at all! It's a perfectly normal, traditional courting practice." - people who call every LGBT+ person a groomer
It's called projection lol
Every conservative accusation is a confession
@@kalynw2490 for real
it would be normal if he start to asking her for dating when she's already 18
@@edba1.037 It's a classical case of grooming, dude. Make "friends" with them while they're still a child in order to shape them into your perfect little plaything, then ask them to marry you on their 18th birthday. Disgusting.
THEM SAYING THEIR MOVIE WAS WATCHED 10 MILLION TIMES IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT 😭
literally insane move
watched morbillion times
Kurtis should get them to legally show a link to his video as proof lol
at first I thought they meant just 10😭
I love that she’s offered 3 jobs in the span of a week and accepts all of them.
''So we have a few positions available in our company right now, a HR manager, a marketing executive, a PR coordinator and a sales representative'' ''Great, I'll take em all'' 😃
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit
And you know you can just take a government job. You know there's no hiring process or vetting process whatsoever.
@@soapygirl83Just like irl
The best thing about this movie is that the lead actress faked having insomnia on tiktok right before this movie came out and then was magically cured by god afterwards
while i really dont like this people, id like to play devils advocate: being stressed, for example about a movie that you are playing the lead in that might do horribly, can affect your sleeping patterns and cause Insomnia, so it might be a bit more logical than it seems
@@RoseWhitmore Yeah, I think that’s probably what happened lol. Probably stressed from the many things filming a movie would make you stressed about, had lots of trouble sleeping because of said stress, and then finally got some sleep when the cause of the stress went away and thanked god for it instead of connecting any dots
Also how would you know when someone fakes having insomnia? Like unless you live with someone then how would you know if they are telling the truth or not I'm not intending to start a fight just curious
@@kalynw2490 It's not so much that anyone knows her exact experience, but more so that insomnia isn't something that just "goes away". That's why the replies aren't denying that she was having sleep issues, simply arguing that it most likely wasn't insomnia- and was instead a case of far more common, and less chronic, stress induced sleep issues.
@@kalynw2490 "Also how would you know when someone fakes having insomnia?".....If they're a Christian, easy: If words are coming out of their mouth they're lying.
honestly the old politicians being entirely confused by social media is the most realistic part of this movie
Senator: that tik tok, can that access my home wifi?! CEO: Uhhh, yea. It needs the internet to work. A very dumbed down recreation of an actual question and the response asked by a Senator to the CEO of Tik Toc.
That and a politician being appointed to secretary of x without any prior experience or qualifications in the field.
The director was so busy raiding the local daycare he forgot to improve his filmmaking abilities
That’s not funny. He likes them younger.
OH MY GOD
BYEE
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit
NAH💀
It's pretty funny that a Christian propaganda film has a title that could easily be mistaken if said out loud for "Allah for Christmas". Glorious.
To be fair, not one person indoctrinated and white enough to appear in or enjoy a movie like this knows how to pronounce Allah correctly
All this time I literally thought he was saying Allah for Christmas and I was honestly so confused
💀
Omg I was just thinking this!
Whatever the movie Allah for Christmas is I 100% guarantee it would be better than this movie.
Speaking as someone who enjoys the genre, a romcom should NEVER be 2,5 hours
Speaking as someone who doesn't enjoy them, but will watch them with friends and family who like them, 2.5 hours of a romcom would kill me lol.
Unless it’s a Bollywood movie-
23 becoming "best friends" with a 14yr old? Straight to jail.
It's so insanely gross that their 'friendship' started when she was 14 (~ 8th grade/freshman) and he was 23 (old enough to have graduated college and potentially be living on his own). And the fact that he's so open about it without any pushback from his followers is beyond alarming
Actually, there was pushback, but he locked the comments and banned all the sane people.
@@babos77what is there to laugh at? its just disgusting
And of course the use of the term friendship was not to be subtle but used in the way people call their wives their best friend.
many levels of wrongness with this😭
Her parents failed her 😔
ain’t no way the “finally 18” guy made a movie with LAW in the name, that’s just classic comedy
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit
Unfortunately, the laws in many states may be on his side on that one. Child marriages with parent's permission are legal, and the crowd he appeals to is the type of crowd who would give their daughters hand to a "good christian man"
A Very Statutory Christmas
@@billbill6094 It's fucking vile. But yeah, the drag queens reading stories to kids and gay books are the ones "grooming children." Absolutely deplorable
@@billbill6094🤮
I would love to learn about Eggnogg‘s backstory. He seems to be the most interesting guy there. How did he end up in the walls? What does he do between christmas and christmas?
Eating rats and opposing Christian Baker from what Kurtis has said so far
I headcanon eggnog actually burrows out of the walls and only comes back to the basement when they’re looking
@@ciphergacha9100 mice and rats are different things. fake eggnog fan.
"I haven't seen real snow like this in years" said while walking through a single line of soggy diapers has to be the most hilarious scene I've ever watched. I almost spit out my coffee laughing at that. Wow. Yeah, you know I don't think I've EVER seen real snow like that.
Fun fact: Mariah Carrey actually has said in one of her songs that she doesn’t like this movie. The line in question is “ I… don’t want A Law For Christmas…”
🤯
Big brain
@@laluneroihope at least a little bit of light shines for you in this holiday season 💛 you deserve it
Kurt I’m begging you to pin this comment it’s so fucking funny
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me creditb
they were dating since she was 14, ten year age gap, married at 18, and currently she is pregnant. i feel so bad for her, she seems happy but has no idea how she's been groomed and how wrong it is
i guess the only thing we can hope for is that she leaves or the abuse doesn't get any worse than that;;
@@egg4666hope it doesn't get worse? Did you miss the part where he's using her body to grow his next victim??
@@xp8969 no I didn’t mean to disregard that at all. Sorry.
Ignorance is bliss, or some sh** like that.
Kurtis lied about the age gap it’s maximum 4-5 years
13:11 Of course he doesn't get adult banter. He only has to be suave enough to impress 14 year olds.
NAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The mayor actually taking the farmer's kid's presents sent me to the moon... And then I got to the part where he gives them back to the kids as if he was the who originally got them and I was shot out of the galaxy.
“Finally 18!” Bro was 23 grooming a 14 year old and thats actually sick.
I believe he was her 'youth pastor', or some such ghastly christian americanism. Honestly mate, I ask you.
@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 that makes it so much worse holy shit
@@tranzpaprika Yes, he managed to look pastor youth. ( Past her youth - geddit?)
@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 god damnit why did that actually make me laugh
@@tranzpaprika I'm so sorry, Tranz. I just couldn't resist it: call it a mum joke if necessary. I WAS going for something complex and sophisticated about Louis Pasteur, but then I thought No, can't be arsed. I was also going to attempt something special with madeleines and tisane and Proust and everything, but then I also thought No, can't be arsed. Also, no way Trump would eat a cake as small as a madeleine.
Installing a secretary of agriculture that has been secretly screwing farmers is the most believable part of this movie.
In real life they would have appointed someone who hadn't been screwing farmers with their consent.
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me creditb
@@ville__no... kurtis steals MY vids!!!
@@ville__bro kurtis is literally in the video? like i know you’re a bot or whatever but this is so stupid
in real life there would be a whole senate confirmation process
If this were ANY OTHER MOVIE made by ANY OTHER CREATOR I'd say that the timing issues of "girl wanting to go to law school and live in thr big city" and "guy not wanting to leave a small town" were just the accidental result of trying to stuff two romcom cliches into one movie but damn, Kurtis actually doing the math and showing that the ages are exactly the directors' and his vic- i mean wife's... (Tbf there's the possibility that the wife decided to go to law school years after high school, but again, that "27 and 18" lines up too well)
eggnogg is such a cutie. its a shame kurtis and the characters in the movie don't understand him.
EGGNOGG
The fact that she was 14 when they became “best friends” is insane and he should be arrested.
YES
He was 23 when the became "best friends". Why is he not in jail?!
UnFun Fact: He is from Germany and it's pretty much legal. I'm from Europe and the age of consent is 15. No limits. You can be 68 and have a 15yo girlfriend. There was a couple on 'Wife Swap' here where the dude groomed his bride after meeting her on Facebook when she was 14. They were on Wife Swap when he was 45 and she was 17. They had kids. Completely legal mind you. Not even a big outcry followed. It was just a normal episode. If someone ever tells you Europe is some kind of a utopian heaven, they are wrong. There are so many things the US does better.
@@mikyto7313 I'm from Germany too and I don't understand why that's legal 😢
FRR
the idea of christian baker being a christian baker reminds me of colleen hoover’s book where her florist character is literally named lily blossom bloom 😭
nominative determinism
My home ec teacher was called Miss Baker and used to teach us how to bake stuff
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit
LMAOO
Me and my friend were joke reading "Hopeless" (another colleen hoover book) and the main characters friends name is Six. Her original name was Seven but she changed it to Six because she didn't like the name Seven. I had to try so hard not to use the book as kindling
i’m **17** and already the idea of dating a 14-year-old is 🤢🤮
it's wild that the people in the movie could ship CDs internationally while being an underground rebel group in the middle of the pandemic but the producers couldnt do it in the real world
gotta love how the "they are making everything political" crowd literally made a christmas movie about a conservative politician
gotta love how hypocritical conservatives are 🤗
because their definition of 'Political' is non-straight, non-white people.
To be fair, you don't know if the writers of the movie are part of the "they are making everything political" crowd. Instead, they could be part of the "let's make everything political" crowd. Don't get me wrong, this movie sucks, but don't be too presumptuous.
It's unfortunately impossible for something to not be political due to what has been made political. Some people are political simply by existing. I feel like it has gotten worse with social media.
Also to be fair, the movie is the cookie-cutter plot of big mean lady goes to caring town and learns to abandon dumb office politics (or actual politik) for cozy comfy ranch world, so it’s kind of trying to escape it?
That guy who married the 18 year old is so disgusting. We need more laws protecting children
No kidding 21+ or 25 with a fully developed brain and experience. Like how did anyone reason 18 being an adult??????
It's something the german law is very lacking in. Here, a 14 year old can basically be with anyone older as long as it's "not forced" and their parents consent. It's a horrible law but with the majority of the government holding "christian values" (and generally aren't good people), it's hard to make them change it.
@@erickmiranda3600no 🤦 Do the math. He was dating her when she was 14, and “finally 18” is what a pedo says when they finally don’t have to worry about getting arrested for statutory rape
@@joearnold6881 talking about laws
Maybe we should get that law for Christmas instead
Kurtis and Drew (and Danny) should film their own Christmas movie this year and release it next Christmas season
I would watch that in theaters
why is danny in brackets lmao
@@balls_gaming at the time I made the comment, only kurtis and drew had both posted videos about the worst Christmas movies ever, but I wanted danny involved
Idk what's worse: the fact that the producer dated a 14 year old girl and bragged about it for 4 years or that 175 people liked that picture at the time. 175 people are totally okay with this dude dating a minor. Age is just a number, jail is just a room, and age of consent laws are just words written on a piece of paper amirite?
"Silly woman, you cannot be fulfilled by big city career. You want to marry in small town have baby love christmas" -most Christmas romcoms
Yours is the best comment I've read so far, and so spot on. "Silly woman. Work no make you happy. See how bitter you are because of work? Meet man to work for you. Be happy. Stay at home for man. Simple life."
Kurtis literally re uploads my vids and has never given me any credit 😑;
@@ville__zesty pop you don’t _have_ any videos 💀
it's a bot@@DarkShadic9632
You forget about the homes in the movie that has no traces that anyone actually lives in in them because they’re sets on a movie therefore making people shameful about the status of the audiences real house!
The “I eat MICE, I eat MICE for DINNER!!!” At eggnogs first appearance was so much more guttural and convincing than most of his other skits lmao
The background music also doesn’t help
My first thought was wondering who left Eggnog out of the attic? 😰
The way that “I eat MICE! I eat MICE for DINNER!!” takes me out with laughter literally every single time, it is hurting me
The way he says "I've never seen the Sun" kills me
God I can’t stop laughing make it stop please 😭😭😭😭
Mr Beast rizzing up Ice Spice while she’s twerking on a tractor while Timothee Chalamet whips a truck around a cornfield is an image I never thought I would have in my mind. Yet here we are.
5:02 To address the groo-… the room I fricking love them jokes so much
Btw, Joshua and his young ass wife announced they're having a baby. I genuinely think he should go to jail. 🤮🤮
🤮 literally disgusting
oh my god that poor girl and now that poor baby:( I hope they make it out of there one day
ok i know this is serious and i definitely agree with you but the phrase "joshua and his young ass wife" is so funny out of context for no reason
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me creditb
@@ville__ who?
Kurtis never made a “farmer? I hardly know her!” joke and honestly it ruined my Christmas
Omg you're so right 😭 who IS he
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit
@@ville__man that sounds like a skill issue ‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥
@@ville__ good.
@@ville__ive seen you multiple times spam trolling in youtube comments section and its such a waste of space + very cringe 😔
The “new tractors cost more than an average home” “OK” absolutely SENT me
This video has given me an idea for a screenplay; we take the usual schmaltzy formula described earlier, but instead of Finding the True meaning of Christmas and Melting Her Heart (tm) she ends up discovering the small town is an absolute hellhole of poverty, degeneracy, hypocrisy, and all forms of violence. I'm talkin Rob Zombie movie characters, loads of meth and alcoholism, wife beating, snake handling churches, beastility, incest, you name it, all while proclaiming the Glory of Jesus, ending with the main character running back to the sanity of the big city.
I would enjoy that. I really dislike how these sorts of movies portray city dwellers as greedy, mean, and shallow, while glorifying small town residents as a moral contrast.
@@whateverlolawants And as someone born, raised ,and still in a small town, i promise we can be just as shiftless, degenerate, and shallow as any urban.
Write it
@@imlosthelpc2096 Already doing so :D Hoping I can somehow convince Eric Andre to be part of it
big city businesswoman meets man in small town and convinces him to come with her instead
Joshua Wesely limited comments on his posts after people started calling him out for grooming his child bride. She also limited her comments. It’s really a damn shame that he brainwashed her so badly. Poor girl.
Yo she’s pregnant now. they posted last month. so fucked up
@@natlchanoh my God say sike right now
Makes me sick
@@natlchan Please say sike
Can someone call CPS or the FBI or something on these people??
i don’t think i’ve ever seen someone hate christmas as much as the main characters in christmas movies
bah humbug
Scrooge would be Jealous of Them.
She’s not like every girl 🤪
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit
@@RepentandbelieveinJesusChrist5amen
TWO AND A HALF HOURS absolutely blew my mind, im here thinking we must be like 50 mins into a 90 min movie
28:33 gets a call from 'George' but phone says 'Wesley or 2 others' lmao
As a farmer, I burst out laughing when I heard “modern machines save money”, some implements can help but most are way too expensive, you can tell that these people don’t know what they’re on about
Farmer? I hardly know 'er! 🤠
So many conservatives want this farmer/Amish/1600s type of “aesthetic” so badly, but don’t actually want to be that. That description probably made no sense, but I kind of hope people still know what I mean.
No, no, it made sense. Thank you for that, I'ma use it now @@RebaMcImTired
Im a farmer and this is nothing similar to my experience but maybe thats just because these people are americans 😂
@lacy.x0 lol no, the director just doesn't know what real farmers are.
I’m already scared that the “SHES FINALLY 18!” dude made another movie
He even plans a series about masculinity
@@mae_raNothing more masculine than taking advantage of teenage girls naivete to coerce them in to a baby trap marriage, right mine fellow alphas?
@mae_ra oh geez... can't wait for Kurtis' take on that 😂
@@mae_ra masculinity is when you commit sex crimes
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit
Hear me out: A Christmas movie that plays out exactly like this one BUT Gloria goes into Christian’s basement and finds Eggnog a guy who has been excommunicated from the cult- I mean town. And slowly she starts to fall in love with Eggnog, they go on a little date in the basement where they both eat mice together. BUT Christian eventually finds out about they’re relationship and he decides to take away Eggnog’s privilege of coming up for Christmas this year. Anyways at the end of the movie Gloria convinces the town to rise up and take away Christian’s power, because of this revelation Eggnog is freed from the basement and Eggnog finally sees the sun, the end.
-Mommy read me a bedtime story. -Okay Honey *pulls out bible* "Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks." Alternatively Lot and his daughters would make a wonderful bedtime story for children.
I love the one where they had to make a law to ban women from grabbing a man's balls if he started a fight with her husband lmao many Christians think the laws in the Bible were ahead of their time
I’m convinced kurtis only joked about eggnog as an excuse to be naked on camera
He probably wasn't naked
Kurtis literally re uploads my vids and has never given me any credit 😑
what are you talking about. how would that even work hes legit in every single one of his videos@@ville__
You can straight up see his red shorts when Eggnog popped up again at 23:15. 😂
@@loonemist Kurtis literally re uploads my vids and has never given me any credit 😑
I love how diverse the cast is there’s so many white people
So many shades of white!
deck the halls with shades of pale apparently
Makes sense, the Guy literally has a video explaining why Jesus would apparently vote for Afd, so we know what he votes for. And so you know, the Afd is incredibly racist, homophobic, transphobic, classist and has certified Nazis in it.
hey now, there was a black guy at the beginning!
Hey one is blonde and one has brown hair!
This Joshua guy looks like he breaks out the acoustic guitar in the church basement every Wednesday night to see which of the youth group girls looks at him with extra longing. I do not trust this man's face.
KURTIS YOURE ONE OF MATTPATS FAVORITE KZheadRS OH MY GOD
I JUST WATCHED THE VIDEO AND NOTICED THIS
@@Aqua.oTWAS CRAZY
wdym?
@@NessShrug-yq9lk in matpats goodbye internet video, he showed how a bunch of the youtubers he loves reference his "just a theory" catchphrase, and kurtis was one of them
Kurtis is like that uncle that your family doesn’t let you hang out with
Good ol’ uncle Kurt
Uhhh i think you mean EGGNOG
And Joshua Wesely is the radicalized MAGA cousin that your family is fine with you hanging out with some reason
@@agustinortega5688errrm! that was a real unicorn bacon moment! ☝️ With the sauce! /j
@@skraphashobbiesTook the words right out my mouth 😂
Ah, yes, let's see that "i was bffs with a 14 year old child when i was 23 and then fell in love with her exactly when she turned 18 and not a moment before" guy's take on romance, shall we?
Right? I hate this guy.
Yes, the exact moment the clock struck midnight on her 18th birthday he realised he was attracted to her, and not a moment before.
he has posts of them on his Instagram from 2017 where he calls her his girlfriend she was like 15 then 🤮
@@mchll7410 Sickening
Guys, when people say "you've been my best friend for x years" they are explicitly saying they've been together that long. Referring to your partner as your friend for many years is common. He was not being quiet or sneaky about the fact they were dating when she was 14, he was straight up saying they were dating when she was 14.
The snow???😭😭😭😭 18:28
I was so confused on why that actress looked so familiar. Then I figured it out. She shared her struggles with insomnia on tik tok, and then one day she was like “oh, my insomnia’s gone. God casted out the demons that were oppressing me.” So yeah.
Stop I saw this. I thought I was going insane too
This was too funny but I can’t stop thinking about how everyone around that 18 year old failed her. being friends with someone whos 14 when you’re 23 is insane!!! I cannot believe her guardians allowed that.
how much you wanna bet there's a significant age gap with her parents too lmao
@@lizek3515 how much you wanna bet they think drag queens are the p3dos
Being FRIENDS with adults when you're a kid/pre-teen/kid is fine. It actually helps to prevent grooming when you have healthy relationship with adults when you're a minor, because it helps you recognize that the behavior is weird and go tell someone about it. But mr. "Finally 18" who PROPOSED a month later was not a friend and that girl's guardians definitely failed her. It's just sad.
@@NO-gh7yl adults should be *friendly* to children, but never *friends* with them. friendship implies a dynamic of mutual support, which should never be expected of children to provide. a child should be able to go to a trusted adult for guidance and support, but adults expecting that same emotional investment from children is definitely unhealthy. an adult can be a mentor, or a teacher, or a kind neighbour, or an empathetic parent, but never a true friend to a child. (obviously when the adult and child in question are both teenagers or relatively close in age this doesn't really apply- an 18 year old can have a genuine friendship with a 16 year old. the power difference between them is basically nonexistent)
I agree. Nuances matter. So do boundaries. @@gaymiens
You and drew reviewing the worst Christmas movies humanity has ever seen is the highlight of the holiday season
Ikr
Don't forget about Danny!
I love watching my favorite KZheadrs suffer by watching the most terrible Christmas movies 🫶
This is my version of watching holiday movies every year
Its the reason for the season. Better reason than some jewish carpenter that said some good stuff and some bad stuff LOL
26:30 my aunt (who is very very religious) deadass read the bible as a nighttime story to me and my brother when we were sleeping over as children 🥲
Ah, yes, getting "promoted" to Secretary of Agriculture...without a Senate hearing, or confirmation, or meeting with the president, or any of the other constitutional steps necessary for the position.
The idea of naming twins Jeff and Jeffrey is killing me 😂
One of my uncles has 4 boys and they’re all named some version of his name, John
I was thinking the same thing! 😂
Jeff and Jeff the second
Jeff and Geoff
My uncle has two sons named Ralph, but they have different middle names. Not twins unfortunately
Ya'll imagine Jesus coming back and seeing a shit ton of crosses everywhere and then having PTSD.
And then imagine being his therapist and having to sit through all of the bible lore “It’s all started in Jerusalem…” 😂
@@Marmar-no6 💀
I do now. Thank you.
Lmfao
Now imagine commenting something oringal
Wouldn't a better conflict have been someone digs up Gloria skimping out the farmer's funds for subway wifi?? I thought that would come back into relevance
Bro didn’t buy the blu-ray cos he’s not a dad in 2011 but bought the dvd like a dad in 2002. 💀
The cut to Gloria screaming in her car after seeing Christian hug the girl fucking killed me. Like why did she react THAT way??
Cuz he didn’t leave his phone in the car for her to sneak thru it.
that was unironically the best acting in the movie
The lack of any research going into this movie on how the government or farming works…is exactly what I expected from the dude who made 2025.
It is hilariously wrong on how the government works, but I guess the Groomer in charge of this whole thing is German and was too busy chasing after children to glance at the wiki page for the US Gov’t.
When Kurtis said the main character was the Secretary of Agriculture for the US I did a double take! Like it’s not a difficult thing to research. No one gets a cabinet position without getting approval from the Senate.
@@langleymneely That plotline made me so mad. You don't just waltz into being 9th in line for the presidency "as a surprise." And yes, the Secretary of Agriculture is 9th in line for the presidency. And then having her do PR? That's not their job! I don't know what their job is, but it's not that! It's so lazy. Like, just have her be promoted to "head of PR for the USDA." Boom. That's probably a job. I didn't look it up, but at least it's not as obviously stupid.
Her being introduced at a podium like a new COO at a shareholders' meeting was crazy. Who would the person introducing her even be? The president? Just a guy in a suit?
kurtis’s sheer exasperation throughout this whole video is so incredibly relatable 💀💀💀 like I try to be respectful to all people (as i’m sure kurtis does as well) but to see someone else point out all the mental gymnastics that these people go through to make their “point” is SO validating 💀💀💀
23:55 in the video was a perfect time to put "gods plan"
I feel like Christian comes off culty because the creators have no frame of reference for a popular person except for a sinister, powerful man
that checks out honestly
Holy shit
"Blasphemy!" "But he already blasted for you" Going to hell for laughing at that joke will be worth it.
Saaaame
see yall there 😭
hell is a terrible place , nothing is worth going to hell for. Jesus is the way , the truth and the life ❣️
@@that_one_kayla8552 If he's gonna send me there for laughing at a joke then I don't really have much of a say in the matter.
Cannot stop laughing at that part of the video xD
Man can’t believe movies are still doing the whole “have you heard of this social media thing”
4:55 someone get my man an oscar for this insane line delivery
okay not bad
All she needed to lighten up her mood was seeing a child be sad, she’s so wholesome ❤❤❤❤
She saw a child crying and completely changed her personality without any actual character development, she has such a good heart ❤❤❤
kurtis reuploads my vids for the money and never has given me credit
@@dk0t127 sounds like my mom tbh
She saw a child crying and decided to change careers and spend her entire life savings on finding the cure to cancer, she's so wholesome ❤❤❤
@@ville__ bro what
when Kurtis talked about the groomer I was like, "shes probably pregnant now." and yeah. she posted one month ago that they're expecting 💀
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me credit.
@@ville__Loser
God has abandoned us
Jesus fucking Christ
@@ville__get a life
KURTIS PURTIS UR ONE OF MATPATS FAVOURITE KZheadRS!!!!
@29:04 as soon as that scene finished I got an ad about sky diving 🤣
I love that the random "fancy lemonade" is very clearly a bottle of simply lemonade from the grocery store lmao
Yeah, like… was the comment about him having seen the lemonade before a reference to that? Lol
I mean simply's good and all but when kurtis said "her finest lemonade" I expected it to be homemade? esp bc in these xmas movies everything is always a "secret family recipe"
@@ByzantineDarkwraiththat was my immediate thought lol, like it was a passive aggressive comment about how it’s a lame thing to bring to a dinner party. But considering what kind of movie this is, I’m pretty sure Kurtis had it right.
Exactly , it is hard to put it in a glass bottle?
@@user-pt8rq7wv8v maybe she's secretly the heiress to the simply lemonade fortune lol
Fun fact the lead actress posted on TikTok a couple months ago about severe insomnia she was having where she wouldn’t sleep for “5 days at a time” and then conveniently right before her movie comes out she goes to a tent revival and was healed of her “oppressive demons” …..
OMG ITS HER
HUH
what's a tent revival?
idk what she means by "not sleeping" i guess a lot of people just mean they slept badly, only a few hours, not feeling rested at all. Not impossible of course, but over 3 days without sleep is already pretty detrimental. But yea she probably lied anyway. After 48h or so you mostly start hallucinating. I once was awake 55 hours idk how and it wasn´t pretty.
That’s mental health issues babeyyy
I am 22 and bro wtf. I can't even imagine looking at a 14 year old and be like "damn, nice" 💀 EW. FUCK. BLEACH MY BRAIN
im 19 and it feels wrong to even be friends with ppl like 16-17yrs old
The "mayonnaise, really?" scene took me tf out 😂
can the law for christmas be a law protecting children from joshua?
FR!!! 😭
Kurtis reuploads my vids for the moneyz and never has given me creditb
18 yr old wife and 27 yr old groom? More like Child Wife and Groomer 💀.
and you just know that he's the type of guy to falsely accuse literally every queer person ever of being groomers simply for existing and minding their business, meanwhile he's an adult man picking his girlfriend up from the local high school 💀
@@negligible_realityHe became "friends" with her when she was fourteen. She could have been an eighth grader.
Hey now, it’s perfectly reasonable for a middle schooler to have a completely platonic, non exploitative relationship with someone who’s just graduated with their bachelors. It’s all in gods plan 🙏
@@queenofmoons720 of course, plus plus plus 🖕, even if there was a relationship between them at this time, it’s fine because girls mature faster than boys so basically the same level of emotional intelligence 🤷♀️
@@queenofmoons720🤨
Considering all these holiday rom coms, I want there to be one where the main character leaves home to travel to this small town... only to learn appreciation for the friends and family they do have so that they return home, content and grateful. That's never happened as far as I can tell. Also, using the non-child-friendly version of the Bible as a bedtime story would probably just give the kiddo nightmares🤣. So much violence
maybe the lemonade looked familiar because it's the most generic lemonade brand in the world
So disappointed in it not being called “Holiday hamhole hahaha”
I second this
we should cancel him again for this
wasnt that the christmas video last year? 😭
@@egh__lmaooo I remember when he got cancelled for not giving us the extra greeting and it began TRENDING 😭
@@justagalwhocomments that shit was so funny man
I find it funny how they make out these farmers to be these sad, altruistic people, like they're just personality traits and not actual human beings. It's almost like they don't actually know what a farmer does lmao, they don't just plant crops and sow them, they do plenty of other shit to that they don't even bother to dive into.
They were like "uuuuh what do they like in the bible belt? God and corn? Make that a 2 and a half hour movie"
Absolutely. This is more of a pro big farm movie than it is a christian movie.
Kurtis Conner reuploads my vids for money and has never given me any credit!😐
My favorite thing about real farmers is how they always vote republican, which are the ones destroying farming lol.
@@ville__ whomp whomp
5:42 she goes from smiIing to shock a whoIe second before he starts to say “agricuIture”
MFW MatPat watches Kurtis too :0
we should start a fandom for these movies except we grossly misinterpret everything and refuse to hear reason surrounding what the movie is actually about. rudolph and christian had an affair because of rudolph's failing marriage, and he was seduced by the cult leader who uses religion as a weapon to drink up the power from his small town
That is hilarious Let me join
put some kinda fucked up religious imaginary in there. "The man I kiss is the one you're looking for." says Rudolph as Christian finally gets arrested.
Im so here for that honestly
hi let's make it happen
Thought you were going to say "we'll all agree on that the movie is amazing and never listen to arguments on that", because that's what some fandoms do
The most realistic part of this movie is the random child just confessing her parents secrets lol
The plot of these movies is always: Working woman bad and mean >:( rural man make her better! Make her good, Christian wife :)))
its so common in those movies that whenever one came on tv, my mum and i would guess rhe plotpoints and what happened when and we were right 90% of timea
So what I’m hearing is they said 2025 was watched 10 million times because Kurtis video got 10 millions views…. Like “yup, they technically watched our movie because they watched a video making fun of our movie so we can count it!”
Kurtis may not be pregnant but he always delivers
no he is most certainly pregnant
@@aSuperAmazingFrog when was the announcement??? 😱
@@aSuperAmazingFrog can’t wait for the pregnancy video!! Wishing him luck through his journey 🙏
stop reposting this stupid comment
not if i intervene
I just worked an entire shift at my job three days before Christmas…it was hectic and very difficult but coming home and seeing that kurtis posted made it all worth it
Great job getting through the holidays! I get to watch Kurtis and have a giggle while I get ready for my shift
Watching Kurtis and enjoying some pizza on my lunch break at work.
@@Horrorbotyt I hope it goes well!!
NGL you are lucky. I’m working overtime over the holidays including full shifts today, tomorrow, and on Christmas Day
I gotta work today and tomorrow 😢 Just glad I didn’t get put on the Christmas Eve shift, I would’ve been kinda pissed.
"The next person to address the groom- Sorry, the room" YO.
I was high on shrooms tripping bad and put this on cause Kurtis is like one of my comfort KZheadrs and once 8:28 came on I turned it off cause it freaked me tf out😭😭😂 Thanks Kurtis Conner 👍
I work retail as of rn and I had a lady two days ago come in and rant about how much she loves Christmas and how she made sure to plan accordingly to have December babies and proceeded to name them Christmas names 💀 I was mortified
The Kardashians Christmas edition 🎄
Nomygod 🥲 poor kids! I can only imagine that convo- "My kids are named Frankie, after frankincense; Goldie, bc gold, and Myrrh, after 👹myrrhdur👹"
omg 😭
@@illi6378myrrhdur 😂😂😂
@@Kiisara18 👹❣️ myrrh fyrrhvorite
Christian obviously needed the little girl toys to lure his next girlfriend. Thank God it worked out with the main adult character.
dear god, it all makes sense now... or it would if that wasnt an insane thing to do
fascinated by kurtis' necklace, very arts-and-crafts core
The blasphemy joke was S tier as hell! Made me laugh way too hard.