How To Make A Disrespectful Person Look Insecure For Insulting You
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You’re going to come across some conversational bullies in the course of your life. Generally, people try to shut them down with insults and aggression, and some others prefer to walk away from these interactions to avoid that kind of negativity.
But there is a third, potentially more effective way to deal with these toxic people. Russell Brand, for instance, tries to take control of the conversation instead of shutting it down. This allows him to stand up for himself without coming across like a jerk. His interview with three hosts at the MSNBC morning show is a perfect example of the main strategies that you can use to dominate any bully in any conversation.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:55 - Practice #1: Continue speaking until the end of your sentence.
1:55 - Practice #2: Treat each member of a group as an individual.
2:51 - Practice #3: Emphasize similarities with other members.
10:01 - Practice #4: Learn to detach your ego from personal attacks.
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#RussellBrand #CharismaOnCommand
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When will you break down Keanu Reeve already????
uh btw the title for this video is the same title for the joe rogan video so you may want to change it.
Is it intentional that you uploaded this video with the exact same title as the one that was about Joe Rogan? (Instead of calling it "How to Deal with Disrespect Without Being a Jerk", or "How to Command Respect Without Being A Jerk, Vol II") You openly stated that you're being experimental with your thumbnail and video title, so I feel like this might be an intentional experiment.
Could you do a break down of Niall Horan. He is charming and effortlessly seems to make friends with everyone he meets.
A great fresh topic to cover could be the art of charisma through language barriers. I'm about to embark on my own journey for 2 years abroad, and can't imagine what it's like to authentically connect with people who you can't fully understand or communicate with. I've heard you touch on the subject of enthusiasm as it relates to this, but I think it would be valuable to hear you do a deep dive, given your experience living abroad.
As a child I witnessed a man insult my friend's mother in front of a whole group of her friends. There was a very awkward silence while she just looked at him, then she smiled and said very loudly, 'how very unkind of you to say so', and then she just carried on talking to her friends. The man was totally humiliated and slunk away. Brilliant!
That's brilliant, I love that!
your friend' s mother , has class. One can not buy , class .
Wow. That response was brilliant in every way. I hope I remember that & use it if I wind up in a similar situation.
I like her lol
Xlnt recount. As a friend was becoming increasingly more abrasive with me, I suddenly stopped listening respectfully, looked her directly in both eyes, and said coldly " You can never talk this way to me again." It stunned her mid-sentence, she was silent, almost frozen for 8 to 10 seconds as I held eye contact, and she re-animated and said "You're right. I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that." Things have been on a more even keel since then, but we'll see. I don't need an apology nor any capitulation or "a win"...I simply want certain parameters of engagement to be followed when talking with friends. If I wanted a fight, I'd go to a bar, where it's acceptable for conversations to escalate quickly to shouting and insults. But not ever with friends or family. Proximity and emotional investment do not necessarily open the gates to intentional injury or agenda-based attacks. If we are in a relationship where we would normally be open and caring, it is not okay to use that proximity and closeness as a weapon or entree to deeper nerves and more painful attacks, which is exactly what happens in most self- consuming love/hate relationships. Taking advantage of that intimacy to hurt someone is against the rules, and simply, openly shows how immature that person's real feelings are toward the relationship. It is a hard lesson to learn and many relationships don't survive that growth process. Adults still have a need for internal growth, and need to learn the lessons of forgiveness, patience, and perspective with their families, friends, lovers, and even strangers. Simply not accepting bad behavior is a step toward a better relationship. But it can also be a step toward no relationship, too. Some people we just grow away from, or grow out of. Others we grow toward and often, we grow with each other. The garden analogy fits especially well when dealing with weeds and chronically destructive behavior. Encourage fruitful, healthy behavior and relationships, expect little or no returns from weeds and corrosive others. If we give respect, love, compassion, patience and positivity, and get none in return, it may be time for a "lesson"...but likely it's time to "lessen" our own burden and "listen" to our gut...move on. There are far better things to do than to try to change others' behavior and habitual negativity. Fix or forget...like an old car or classic stereo. It doesn't really matter how much you love it, it may be beyond fixing, and you may simply be in love with an image or an idea, rather than the reality. Keep the dream, toss the reality? I love old friends and old cars and hifis. Guess which ones are easier to maintain. Aye, there's the wicket! Cheers!
Wow, I didn't realize how good at speaking Russel is. So many subtleties.
I've noticed a lot of comedians are good at controlling a room. Most likely from their stand up performances and dealing with hecklers.
I've allowed my difference of opinion to color my views of him in the past. I also used to feel he was overly verbose, putting on airs so to speak, but thanks largely to this channels analysis have come to respect the man's skills.
@@oliviahafner561 too wordy? Eh, we often like least the things in others that we dislike most in ourselves.
@ I'm not sure that was an insult.
@@HigherPlanes I didn't think it was. I was overlaying my own views of him on myself. I saw it as humor. Joys of written communication.
I've been told my whole life that I look intimidating. But what they were referring to, is my habit of making people nervous by not responding when I think someone is lying, instead I just looking at them intently. I realized years ago that if I just stared and didn't speak, the person would get nervous and start chattering. That chatter is what I was looking for, and would help me ferret out the truth.
You’d be a good interrogator
That's pretty cool. I need to put that in my toolbox. I think I've tried it before but it won't work on those who don't already respect you.
You have a horrifically high opinion of yourself.
@@pnpgutterfoldit's easier with being comfortable with silence. Not every second of the day has to be filled with talk between people
It's crazy how obvious it is when people lie and they literally will do it to your face like you dont know. XD
I’m a cashier at an estate sale company. So weekly i deal with tons of people who want to pay little to nothing for whatever they have in mind and usually try to talk down to you. I’m glad seeing this video and showed me I actually learned a lot of these practices on my own, such as ignoring rude people and not letting them interrupt my speech. I see others in similar situations say they find themselves checking out emotionally but I do the exact opposite when faced with aggression/ malice I try to to pretend they didn’t say anything but simple facts. Such as when people ask the price of an item and I tell them “$5” they love to respond with something like “$5? I can buy them brand new for that much!” To which I reply we’ll that one is $5. Rather than ignoring them I acknowledge what they said without giving them a single inch toward their statement. I’ve had several people stand next to my register repeatedly asking “why not $3?” And I just ignore them. If I reply it’s “$5” and nothing else. Don’t let people build imaginary power over you! Know your worth
Thank you for sharing. Great tips 👌 👍 👏
Great! You're doing awesomely! And you will only get stronger and better! Cheers!
"Don't let people build imaginary power over you." ✨️ 💪 💯 What you said there is my ultimate, all-time favorite new quote.
I do this as well. If it's above my pay grade, then I send it to the higher-ups. But damn dealing with people is too much. I'm not at a job where I don't interact as much. I have to take a break for about 10 years, I think😁
Respect!
That's what pisses me off. People speaking over me when I'm trying to finish a sentence, lol.
King Isaac Blah, blah, blah, blah..
King Isaac you arnt loud enough
Coming from someone who named themselves king
I know right! Whenever I’m talking they-
@Salt Serpent yes?
My father taught me as a young person, that silence and staying calm, is the best way to get to a person. Works like a charm. Way to go Dad!
I utilize that technique all the time, it's easier though when you don't care for conversing with most people in the first place, and being an introvert also helps a lot.
I'd have more respect for you than someone who forces us to listen to them finish a sentence.
What when those people finish their sentence with "am i right?" trying to push your response
@@projectfear22 tell them your honest opinion
so passive aggressive silent treatment then. divorced yet?
This is so useful. As a child I was overrun in every conversation by a narcissistic parent, I never learned this skill and consequently it happens to me in adulthood sometimes and it’s so frustrating and embarrassing. Planning to employ these strategies tout-de-suite.
Same all the way around
Good luck man! I also have narcicistic parents, only that I don't have this issue because they enjoyed the fights. Hope all goes well
I understand that to well 🫠
That happened to my husband, but my narcissistic mother had the opposite effect on me: I cut into and interrupt others so fluidly it just feels like natural conversation. I really thought that's just how I talked to people until I moved out and then visited my mom and sister and realized we don't converse normally at all. It's been a huge point of contention in our relationship.
@@nothere3982surely u must know brands narcissistic behaviour. Omg I can’t believe u ppl can’t see this is his payback
I am really amazed at how well Brand handles these low-IQ groups ganging up on him, and also how masterfully well you explain what he does.
Well, they're always liberals. Intellectually humiliating them in easy.
Russell nudes to learn how to relaxe his throat muscles because he choked last time we met.
Yes, he is a master manipulator.
@@derekpierkowski7641Painfully unfunny
@derekpierkowski7641 ...you need to spell before you comment ...😂
Russell Brand is VERY quick-witted and intelligent. It seems that people underestimate him and find out REALLY quick that he's no slouch.
He obviously has been around people a lot.
@@ganymeade5151 As has everyone else but his level of thinking separates him from the majority.
@You are correct But That statement would have the same affect if it was left unsaid.
@@neavo8421 ...and yours would be the same with affect or effect.
Russell Brand is the definition of a slouch... lol
I wish I could be more like this, I'm too sensitive. And when someone says something that hurts me I don't know what to do and then hours later I think of what I could've said.
You don't, you are not, you do and then hours later it doesn't matter. Just be yourself and not the labels you have attached to yourself
@@mickharrison7262 thank you for your words :)
@@nadeshkaholmes9511 You are welcome. I haven't told you anything you didn't already know
I think the most important thing to do is to take yourself out of the equation, if that makes sense. Focus on the words, but don't associate them with yourself? You have to put distance between what someone says about you and how you perceive it.
Like they’ve said in the narrative several times, remove yourself from your ego...don’t take things personally. Observe what is being said as if they were talking about someone else.
I cannot BELIEVE this interview. I’ve never seen such disrespect. Well done, Russell, as always, for using your wit and charm to be the better person. Love, love and more love ❤
He's a nonce
Too bad Russell Brand couldn't be more controlled about "signals" to women OFF camera.
@@gaiagoddess8009 So should this video be taken down, then? Are all the lesson irrelevant?
You've never seen the media interview a conservative? This is typical.
@@user-bo8en7rl6yexpecting the truth isn’t disrespectful
That whole interview with Russell is a lecture on how to effectively handle a hostile conversation. Definitely one of the best things I have ever seen. Russell is so good at that, it’s unbelievable.
Russel Brand is levels above them intelligence-wise and they just continued to treat him like a child, all the while he remains professional and mature. Respek
@@KZheadChannel-dk5xv watch his KZhead channel. Specifically interviews on his podcast
How he's calling them out without being negative is truly impressive.
@@neilkerray1 Listen to his podcast with Sam Harris to see how grossly inadequate and overrated Brand's intellect is..
@@KZheadChannel-dk5xv you're entitled to think he isn't that intelligent, but his emotional awareness is undeniable.
@Sim I think you nailed it. Brand is brilliant in the way of social intelligence. The dude can read a room. I think what makes him brilliant is he takes the stance of a student. He wants to learn and asks far more questions than he does state an opinion. I'm not a massive fan of his comedy, but I love watching interview clips of him because of his social navigation skills.
Russel Brand is a top notch conversationalist!
Guy is a charisma king. Don't know any better.
@@Sam-ng3of conan and ramsay
Conor Mcgregor is up there
Daniel Iles - Small Business totally agree
It's easy when you are a sociopath and have been programmed with MK Ultra for your role in the public ;)
What helped me dealing with rude and "Not letting you talk"-people was being nice and happy and never falling out of this role. I think it helps because keeping this consistent happieness shows them that their rude behavior doesnt have any effect on me so they stop trying.
Living a role can lead to bitterness and frustration.
I will say ONE thing: to some people, their name is NOT their favorite word, and will get defensive when singled out. Watch for people who wince when you say their name. They sometimes feel put on the spot when you address them by their name too much, and will get aggressive with you.
I am not sure what point you are trying to make here. There are many reasons for a name not being a person's favourite word and some of them are quite unsettling as the use of the name brings in some terrible memories. Perhaps, they are not being defensive or aggressive. This is worth remembering and not making a judgement.
I'm one of those people. It makes me feel like the person is trying to manipulate and dominate the conversation. If it's naturally said then I'm fine with it but if it's deliberate I get very annoyed by it.
Yeah I actually hate my name and cringe when people say it. I rarely use other people’s names for the same reason
@@lynziekirby8882 I was making the point that while it IS normal for most people to respond positively to being addressed by their name, some people will actually get upset about it (like me). The whole video is about controlling hostile conversations.
Yes. I come from the Southern Appalachian mountains, and people from here typically will become much more guarded if a person they don’t know well deliberately uses their first name.
"Did you see how Russell did everything I mentioned?" Pretty easy to do, as long as you mention everything Russell did. 🤣🤣
Lol i was thinking that for a second all this guy does is highlight the things that happen in a clip but i guess it's good advice.
i thought the exact same thing hahahahah
Thank you Captain obvious
@@fisherg.6204 U sir, r a troll
@@jamesroberts325 thank you for the compliment
Not having an ego totally frees you from other's opinions of you.
Having control of your ego. You already know we all have one.
Opinions of who? This logic is beyond comprehension
@@Litt13F00t Really? It's pretty simple. Other's impressions and expressed thoughts about YOU. Their opinions. Surely you understand, you're a smart person.
@@2degucitas I was attempting a joke going with the idea that without an ego there's not really a "you" in the common sense of the word. Usually "you" or "I" refers to one's ego, so to say you don't have an ego seems like it would imply there is no "you" to be bound by other's opinions, nor is there a you to be freed from them. Its obviously an extreme (I'd say impossible) to say someone doesn't have an ego at all (even if its near entirely removed from the perspective they have of the world) and I think that's what makes this strangely complicated and almost impossible to talk about logically. It's possible there's just been some confusion/misinterpretation though
@@Litt13F00t Ok thanks. Comments get misunderstood every day.
Russel has an incredibly effective communication skill!
I have always been fascinated by how effectively Mr. Brand communicates. It was amazing to see the particulars broken down.
1. Continue till the end of the sentence 2. Treat each member as an individual - Call their names - 3-second eye contact - calm stare (neither malice nor smile) - not pay attention (use body language) - prolonged silence 3. Emphasize similarities - Call out behavior that u appreciate. Return compliments - be playful - flat-out ignore the rude - pay attention to who respects you. Be loud, engaging with them - a “those type” call out - Flat out call out bad behavior 4. Detach your ego from personal attacks
Just wondering. Why are you repeating the talking points in the video?
@@palomarjack4395 Simply I write it down for fun ;)
@@palomarjack4395 also, why do you ask me that question? I’m curious 😊😊
@@sophiedavidson1579 thank you for the quick synopsis. It's good to see it all written down and sometimes I'm not in a position where I can watch. I'm sure there are others who appreciate this text
@@MattCannady exactly, I'm glad op has written this out
Charisma on Command: "Use less signals, and you will get less." Stannis Barratheon: "Fewer."
The signals are called that because they are intended to trigger less or more of the behavior the other person is exhibiting. The amount of a behavior isn't countable, so less is correct in this context.
Only real OGs will get that reference...
Chris F A signal is a discrete thing. What you are describing is "signaling," in which case "less" would be correct.
OKAY. I WAS WATCHING THE VERY SAME STANNIS QUOTE SECONDS BEFORE I CLICKED THIS VIDEO.
It's not the amount of behaviour, it's the amount of signals. Signals ARE countable. A signal; one signal. The word 'signal' doesn't describe a descrete thing. Behaviour is more abstract. So I'm pretty sure 'fewer' is the most correct word in the context of 'signals'.
I've always instinctively had a very blank facial response when people would attacked me verbally. As I've been doing this more recently, with my sister, I've noticed that she tends to tell me the whole truth (and usually ends up talking herself in a circle, realizing holes in her own argument) when I just keep my mouth shut for a little bit. It seems to have the same effect as "practicing" what you're going to say to an inanimate object. The second she senses any sort of reaction in me, she changes her speech, and doesn't say what she wants to say, but rather, reactions to my reaction. Sometimes it feels impossible to have a civil conversation with her, so I've adapted to the fact that if I let her talk for long enough, she usually realizes that she's the one in the wrong, and I barely have to say a thing.
I actually can't remember a single case where I have avoided to say what I wanted to say as a result of someones reaction. Or when I think of it, my mom being mad at me as a child and not letting me speak, almost threatening me did that. But mostly, that seems like a very strange concept to me
This video jumped around a lot and was hard to follow at times (more of an editing and pacing thing), but I remember this morning show interview with Brand. How he basically takes over and points out their unskillfulness is truly a master class.
I love that three hosts are trying to be cheeky, literally being rude to their guest, think themselves are hilarious- and Russel keeps it so cool. AND now his appearance and their awful behavior is now a teaching video(s) on the internet about how to deal with bullies. Lol
Everything serves a purpose, even as a bad example. They served that purpose perfectly!! 😜
May all you wishes come true. God bless 💫🙏🙏
The Clips are so short I'm having a hard time figuring out what is really going on in that dialogue
@@doumkatekzit's available to watch in its entirety on KZhead if you search for it. I had already seen it before happening on this video
At one point Russell points out how Mika is holding a bottle of water while she was confronting him. I have to say it was kind of sexy and she was blushing.
I think the prolonged silences and staring at people in a serious manner is an amazing tactic.
It is actually a Narcissist tactic too.
We're taught to do it as teachers. We call it "the longest turn". When a kid says something smart arsed while your back is turned writing on the board, stop, and do a 10 second turn and stare.
@@narcissus79 oh, I remember some teachers doing it in elementary. It shuts up annoying kids quickly.
As an ex teacher the death stare + silence is v effective 😁
Doesnt work with everyone and its not for everyone
To be honest: The BEST way to be listened, is to truly listen to whatever a person has to speak FIRST, and only when asked respond. It takes A LOT of training, patience and charity to do this, but it is possible. It is necessary to really LISTEN with your ears, but also your HEART, with an open demeanor and friendly feeling. It means to develop charisma for the person speaking and not to whatever he's speaking. People will compliment you for your benevolence, politeness and will still call you smart. All the best.
Yes, Do this, and everyone will say that YOU are the scintillating conversationalist, when you actually said next to nothing at all. You just listened and made a person feel worthy for a moment. Because so few people actually listen to other people, the fact that you listened is a special treat.
Very helpful. Most people won't be facing trained national media figures in their meetings. Two important ones for ANY meeting are "finish your sentence even when someone interrupts" and "don't let your ego get hurt". The first one just takes a minor bit of courage. The second is much harder because your ego wants to jump up and fight when you are insulted but thats almost never the right move.
I’ve always liked him but didn’t realize how much of a genius he is in social situations.
Agreed… Regardless what people say about him… love him
Ditto!!
He just straight up doesnt really care and says what he thinks
How very rude and insulting that group was toward him. Bravo to him for not walking off the set.
Mika and her group are immature and not funny… they think they are intelligent and cool but they are not!
I watched this program at that time. They made me feel very tense and I barely could believe how rude they were with Russel. I thought Russel would be walking off, but I got amazed with his power and flexibility - he showed mastery in emotional maturity, intelligence and communication skills. Bravo!
He is smarter than all 3 collectively
They were so rude and cringe to him. I was have told them off and left during the interview 🙄- children
Someone said years ago about the political scene in Wash. D.C., "That place is toxic. They destroy people for sport." This sick state of affairs has expanded to our entire media industry.
I absolutely agree with eye contact - making the person feel watched (there have been studies where they put stickers of eyes in public places and observed a raise in moral and pro-social behavior). Also the silence, making the person feel the urge to fill the gap, usually making themselves look worse, or trying to back pedal. The thing about calling a person by their name I think also has the effect of breaking through the barrier of them feeling safer by being a part of the group. I think it would make them feel less protected and more directly culpable. Not just them enjoying hearing their name.
The thing about Russel Brand is he is way too smart than many people think and those that know him know he's very smart and quick to use a plethora of words he has on hand to counter attack any argument. I don't think anyone in the world can win an argument against Russel completely without any replied backlash that has a lot of thought into it.
"Why do I watch these videos as if I'm some kind of alien trying to assimilate into human culture?"
Nanoo, Nanoo
@Jhon Krasnovskiy pretty sure I was born on Earth but ok bud.
So Zuckerberg doesn't feel alone
I agree...clicks back arrow.
Haha
Mad respect for Russell with his emotional intelligence and social skills.
Barf. He's a blowhole.
Wow. I didn’t realize that.
And both are key to his sense of humor. I really miss seeing him in movies but watch his channel a lot. Very intelligent, articulate guy.
Agreed ❤️
Simply on another level... most people don't have the minerals to handle a 3 to 1 barrage live on TV. Kudos to Russell. Top man, very underated.
His stand up, in the moment, quick thinking helps to remain calm.
I love Russell's confidence. When you're smart enough and secure in who you are it's easy to deal with situations like these. Standup comedy is great for honing these skills. Most of us don't have enough experiences like these to get good at dealing with them.
Not a Brand fan at all. However those three "interviewers" annoyed me. They were classic bullies, ganging up on someone they thought was an easy mark, bitching about him like he wasn't there. I'm very impressed with his response.
Why not a rb fan? Just curious
@@natedog69420 Fair question. At the beginning I didn't find him entertaining, funny or likeable. There was a lot of hype around him and I tend to dislike that too. I didn't actively dislike HIM, however, until the puerile "humour" with Andrew Sachs. I am warming to the guy now though. It seems a few years and experiences has knocked lots of rough edges off him. He seems a considered, thoughtful man.
@@rooramblingon895 interesting. I felt the same way about him i think back when i was a teenager and he first popped up. Been listening to him past year or 2 here and there though, more lately. I think hes friggin smart
@@natedog69420 I agree. Also pretty balanced and a lot more humble than he used to be.
He did well under the circumstances - but talk about a low quality interview/exchange.
these hosts were so rude to Russell smh great breakdown!
i love the part where russell looks at him like "oh look at you, you poor little sauasage, asking which i prefer: films standup or TV... asking your little journalist school day one question, arent you adorable thinking you have value and input" fricking hilarious.
I disagree
Typical of snobbish New Yorkers. One of the worst in the country.
It’s because while a lot of people respect Russel he has a very unpopular image that hosts pick up on whether to attract viewers or make the show more enjoyable. I like the guy
Americans being americans
Russel Brand is one of the most intelligent and interesting people on the planet. The quick witted and non shaken foundation that he stands firmly upon is only enhanced by his ability to speak the truth in a manner that leaves his opponent in a submissive state
The first part is to genuinely not care what someone says about you, then you can retain your emotional reaction and clearly respond. Once you care what someone irrelevant to you says, then you likely lost control of your critical thinking. If someone whose response you care about says something negative toward you, then you should hold them to an esteem to know you warrant a cordial discussion and assume they need your help (or possibly you can learn something) to understand each other.
1. Finish your sentences. Don't stop midway. 2. Refer everyone by their name. Look at them for 3 seconds when speaking to someone 3. Emphasize similarities with others and complement them. 4. Use non verbal signal. Good signals (smiling at them, complementing them) encourage their behavior. Bad ones (not paying attention to them, giving them uncomfortable looks) tells them to stop something. 5. Call out bad behavior but don't point out the person specifically. Give them the chance to change the behavior. 6. Flat out criticize the behavior if the last one doesn't work. Criticize the behavior, not the person. 7. Detach your ego from personal attacks.
EXACTLY
I always do 1 when rude ppl cut me off, but in an Asian country, especially to the elders or in an hierarchical culture/ environment, it's seen as rude. But I'm an Asian and I don't care 😆
Thank you for outlining the bullet points of this video. As a person with brain injury, I don't absorb things as easily as I used to. Having multiple ways to sponge in knowledge is something that I appreciate. Great job!
Did anyone notice how far apart that woman's legs were when she was sitting on the interview couch?
@@slagparty yes! and right after that I wondered why men can sit comfortably and women have to be composed, or what would others think
"Russell flat out ignores him, this is a great strategy-"
It really is though; when dealing with ad hominem, just pretending it didn't happen is one of the most disarming stances you can take against the person attacking you. And in the end, they didn't say anything that mattered for the conversation so why *wouldn't* you ignore it?
It was more complex than that. By jokingly raising his voice at those people in the back he also sent a powerful warning shot signaling that he is prepared to create a very uncomfortable situation if necessary. And it was a brilliant move.
@@KolyaNickD I realize it's more complex than that, it's just funny the way he says it
"If a Bully punches you in the face, just pretend it didn't hurt you" lmao, all i saw is Russel being made fun of, that doesn't happen if people respect you
+Agora1 L
This is SO helpful, thank you. When I was bullied in the past, I could after the fact form a calm, logical reply to both defeat what was said and illuminate the bad behavior without succumbing to it. Unfortunately, in the moments it actually occurred, what happened instead is I'd get so flustered by the unkind ridicule that I'd stammer or even get my words turned around... which of course only gave bullies more to mock. It was humiliating. While I no longer walk a daily gauntlet through school corridors, there is still a family member whose narcissism has turned her into a bully whose tactics are quite unfair and whom I can't avoid entirely. This video gives me some great tips for dealing with her when I must, or with any others I might encounter.
It works! If i ignore ppl who are saying bad stuff to me to get my attention, if I just ignore them and talk to someone else, or look away, they’ll stop. Then, when they speak to me again but they speak to me nicely, i respond nicely. Thanks for making this!
This channel should be called “how to human”
@WORK PLAYLISTS haha, shut up.
@WORK PLAYLISTS Internet is the bible on steroids. You sir are totally wrong. We are better humans then ever before.
How to be likable human
@@BlaDeKke not quite like a Bible, but definitely a great tool to better ourselves.
@WORK PLAYLISTS I see what you did there. The internet is a *net* negative. Good joke.
*1950s*“In the future we’ll have flying cars” *2019* “HOW TO INTERACT IN REAL LIFE WITH REAL PEOPLE”
Reality is stranger than fiction
StupidityKiller - well you’re not wrong 😂
XD so true.
@@Hgulix62nice quote.
That second title is very vague, this is much more specific and subtle, and actually practical. I obviously know this is a joke but this is just for those who are gullible or dont think twice about what they read.
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” -Dale Carnegie
I just wanted to chime in my two cents here and say that one of these pieces of advice stands out to me as something that just seems like good social etiquette completely outside of the conversation about Charisma. The idea of positively reinforcing behaviour you want to see more of without being condescending or passive aggressive I think is something we need to put a lot more thought into in our daily lives, having been on both sides of a confrontation I feel like a lot of people feel extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable in changing their attitudes and approaches. Refusing to give any acknowledgement or worse making them feel small and submissive for doing so only serves to make them feel like there was no point in making that gesture and they should simply go back to the previous attitude they felt more comfortable in. If someone is already willing to humble themselves for wronging you, more often than not humbling them further just becomes abusive and damaging to the conversation, welcome and appreciate the effort.
Wtf was going on in that msnbc interview? Did they just invite him on to bully him? He is the GUEST. How blatantly unprofessional.
it seems surreal doesnt it? Who in their right mind thinks: "i know a great method for interviwing this person: i'll gang-up on him with 2 other ppl and insult him straight to his face" like wtf
Little Miss Dysthymia yes ma'am, exactly. New subscriber!!
I sincerely hope they got fired for that debacle.
@@vashsunglassesPure Toxic.
@@vashsunglassesWell said
I've always been someone who speaks my mind especially,, when it's regarding something I care about . However, there are many times I choose not to respond because some people just aren't worth it & as we get older, we care less what others think about us.
Im so glad that i came across this channel, it was well needed for me. I have aspergers and believe that if I use your advice, I can improve my social life and hopefully finally find someone to spend the rest of my life with
I am a media consultant and I saw this interview and I was fascinated by Russells incredibly quick mind and how expertly he handled them without insulting them directly but correcting their bad over used and yet unaccountable rude and bad on air behaviour produced and pushed by bad producers.
Especially when we are talking Mika she wants got upset and said quiet part out loud... said it was "Their Job to Tell You What to Think" basically aaying we control the narrative, you will not challenge it! And also they will have control of the overton window. Study on who Mika's father was. I think they they had him on as a way to semi destroy him as you look at what he speaks of now, Truth
It goes to show that this type of media is a dying breed. They never translate well to the internet when they display this kind of behaviour. An old format that has not realised yet that the world has moved (or is moving) on.
It seemed to me that these abilities came naturally to Russell Brand. Maybe he's gotten better with time, but in a general sense, it doesn't seem like he needed to learn these skills. Wondering what you think?
Don’t comedians deal with hecklers regularly? They probably need to handle them effectively to get the audience on their side and have a good show.
Media consultant?? That’s 3 sentences in one & not even a coma !!
Whole new respect for Russel Brand here. It's funny how they "forgot" his name when HE is the only one I've heard of before. Kudos to Brand.
Kat got him mixed up with Willy Brandt, the Chancellor of West Germany in the 60s and 70s. It sounds like the MSNBC people are older than you, and being in the news business, they're likely more familiar with Willy than Russell.
Thanks, I was so confused about that part 😶🤣
@@lisagd22 I'm old enough to remember the 60s and 70s but mistaking Russell Brand for Willy Brand is ridiculous.
@@Brendawallingbear I agree; they should know better.
It is so UNPROFESSIONAL on their part I can hardly believe it was done spontaneously.
Russell is awesome. As real as they get
I just realized during the beginning of your video that I ALWAYS WANT TO MAKE OTHERS feel Heard, because I was SO invisible as a child, thank you! 💜💜
I have recently discovered how unbelievably gifted this man is. People do not take him serious enough, he is smart!
I’ve been wanting to read one of his books for a long time now. I’m curious if you have, and if you recommend it?
His you tube is filled with fantastic interviews. Good stuff ✝️❤️🇺🇸
@@cindymancini6153 I just finished Me tors and Recovery and I highly recommend both!!
@@cindymancini6153 I am currently reading Recovery, it is a wonderful resource if you are struggling with sobriety, makes me feel like I'm one of the cool kids.
Beautiful...beautiful man.
It is better to remain silent, and be thought of as a fool, than it is to open your mouth, and remove all doubt. So true.
Yeah, I know. I open my mouth way too much!
@@sunriseboy4837 The trick isn't to keep your mouth shut all of the time. The trick is, to know when you should open it. 😜
I too am an advocate of walk silently and use a very big stick! or however that saying is supposed to go. Nothing malicious. I swear... Teehee.
@@SixthScaleAtYale Like you, I am silently content with the size of my stick. 😜
This is beautiful! I particurlarly like the blank face and silence as a tempo restarter putting the ball in your court. I believe that keeping a pause before responding is huge. It piques intrigue and people interrupt you less.
Great video. Personally having been in public speaking club find the most useful tip is the three second rule. Even when talking to a few friends, always look directly at one person and keep moving gaze to all those involved conversation one by one whilst talking. Also if someone else comes in to listen, look at them too. This makes people feel comfortable and want to engage. The opposite is true if you don't involve them and they tend to become disinterested and start their own conversation with someone else...
"You're a powerful woman, you've got a lovely job, what seems to be the trouble?" If you didn't catch it, right after Russel pays her this complement she smiles and pulls her hair behind her ear, clear sign that he hit the mark and his words had the desired effect.
Definitely noticed that, and got a chuckle from it. Good eye. 👌🏻👌🏻
Secretly wishing she could make out with him.
Appealing to her...vanity.
@@ShalomEntirety1 that's the only way.
@@ShalomEntirety1 That was his way of bamboozling her. So flustered she couldn't think properly. He's brilliant!
Your channel is an autistic girl's dream! Thank you for teaching me things that other people seem to get so easily. People forget that sometimes people like me aren't born inherently socially aware and actually have to study these things to understand them at all. I struggle in social situations and your channel really helps. Thank you :-)
Isn't it grand! I understand completely. Good call.
Ikr autistic girl (or at least that`s how others perceive me) who loves this channel for eons
Dude, they don't get it easily. Sometimes they don't get it at all. People in general don't understand or contemplate why they avert their gaze at certain points in a conversation. This is rather high level stuff ^^
i think the most people have a struggle with this :)You are not alone .
90% of people don't get this. It's too much for anyone to grasp completely. He's selling you something. Remember that.
One of the worst things that can be done when experiencing any version of aggression is to deny that it is happening, for example, ignore it, excuse the attacker, pretend that it was a joke etc. It works in some situations but in most cases only escalates the violence, especially with people who are always in our lives. They will become regular bullies to the breaking point.
This is what anyone who has been bullied should learn to do. I was, I'm 40 now and still struggle with confidence in such situations. I'm still easily bullied as an adult. I'm so glad I found this channel!
Tips from the video: (TLDR) 1) dont leap into conversation to be cut off, make sure to FINISH your sentence even if people try to but in 2) Treat each member of group as an individual (use their names) and give eye contact 3) emphasize similarities with other members and give genuine compliments 4) calm stare in eye, dont pay attention to the person being mean and make it TENSE with stares and dont speak until they change to nice 5) call out behavior you appreciate and smile and engage with that behavior in enthusiastic ways 6) get rid of conversational tension ONLY when people change topic to nicer conversation 7) pay attention to nice members of a group and ignore rude ones 10) talk about behavior you dont like but dont call them out directly 11) Detach ego from personal attacks, and dont defend your ego or yourself MAKES YOU MORE CONFIDENT you are ENOUGH without opinions of others!
Thank you!
I took a photo of this as a reminder on the go.
1,2, and 11 are enough for a good start
Thank youu!
Thanks for the summary, Detaching ego; one of the most important things you can learn to do in your whole life. Reading the [Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle] and [Waking Up - Sam Harris] will go a long way to help you with this.
Russell Brand has higher status than all of the interviewers added together. He remains strong and centered even when he is being treated rudely. Russell never shows fear or anxiety. He floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee.
And calls up old men with Johnathan Ross and humiliated him, which ended with him eventually dying. With them scum bringing him down for their own entertainment 😡
I agree whole heartedly. He is brilliant and WELL-MANNERED.🎉
Russell has a secret weapon...he's vastly underestimated. That man is actually incredibly intelligent but things like his antics, his past drug use and his unusual appearance tends to make people draw...less than intelligent conclusions of him so they enter a conversation with him thinking they have the upper hand. It's a bit like the dozens or hundreds of battles you hear about where a general marches his army right up to the enemy without realizing it's a trap. They show their hand in the conversation and Russell dismantles it with intelligence and a charming personality. I'm not a fan of his work in entertainment but I do have a lot of respect for him!
I think this is solid advice but I think the thing that has to kept in mind is this is not just for enemies but for even the closest of friends. We have to feel comfort in establishing boundaries and reinforcing them when those boundaries are violated. This does make us the bad guy and doesn't mean we have to get aggressive or hostile when boundaries are crossed. It means that a lot of the tactics you discussed can be implemented for overall healthier relationships with everyone around us. Sometimes it is knowing when not to engage further or just walk away. This speak volumes where words can just beat a dead horse or cause more contention.
I'm not a fan of Russell Brand, don't find him particularly funny. However, I must admit he can control a situation masterfully
HOW IN THE WORLD AREN"T YOU A FAN HE"S THE MOST AMUSING HUMAN BEING ON EARTH
Aaron Hydes That’s interesting because to me he just seems like either a pompous narcissist or a raging coke head. He does not appear masterful at anything in any way whatsoever - but that’s just me.
vondahe He kind of seems like a jerk, but he gets what he wants in that conversations
@@vondahe you don't know what a narcissist is if you think he is one. He is strong and won't let anyone take his power. You don't like him because you don't get him. He was very much different till he had a spiritual awakening. He hasn't taken drugs in over a decade. I'm a hippy and know if someone is in on drugs or not
@@eeeehuu2130 was a jerk. He is much different now. Go watch his KZhead stuff where he talks with people like Brian Cox and Derren brown. He is not the junkie jerk he appeared to be many years ago when married that pop singer
On our first visit to my son’s orthodontist the secretary made one rude comment after the next to us. I finally said “ I’m so sorry, I feel like I have done something to upset you today” She looked up at me and said no, you haven’t upset me, I think she was shocked and embarrassed. Her attitude turned around, she was actually calling me hun when we left lol. I think kindness to someone being rude is most effective. If they continue to be rude at least you can walk away knowing you did the right thing.
I've done almost the same thing. I changed the word "you" to "your secretary", then presented the question directly to my doctor.
Personally, I don't think calling someone "hun" is very respectful.
@@dianeyoung8068 I really hate the word hun - so condescending.
@@dianeyoung8068 Agree. But here it represented a big shift in this woman's behavior.
Tell them " its nice to be important but more important to be nice" usually clamps them up.
I don’t believe I saw it live but I saw this interview in “real-time” years ago and was so impressed with how he handled it.
This was one of the most substantive and legitimately reality-based videos I've seen you do. Thank yiu!
I'm an event photographer, and one of the moments I'm proudest of was when I was fixing up a guy's outfit before a group picture. As I was doing it, he yelled over to his friends, "See? I told you I could get her to touch me." They all laughed, but I acted like I didn't hear them (which was impossible, we were all in a fairly tiny room), so the dude who made the joke half-repeated it to cut through the awkwardness. I waited another beat and then said only loud enough for him to hear, "I heard you. I'm just not laughing." Then I made eye contact with him and told him to go stand with the other guys so I could take the picture. He wouldn't look at me for the rest of the event and did EVERYTHING I told him to, immediately.
Handled it like a boss
Savage!! Love that, great tip!
Maybe learn to take a harmless joke...
@@MeadeJ67 Not harmless and she was working. It's inappropriate.
@Boyer Ranch ooof... Sure do follow a lot of pretty women for someone who doesn't like them. Is that why your wife never shows up in any of your videos?
9:08 "You shouldn't say 'he' when a person is present. You should refer to the person by their name. That's basic good manners." Holy moly! I remember seeing that part of the interview and realizing how they were indeed being rude. I didn't realize he's got mad social skills. Love it. Thanks for the video!
My Mum, who was very English (i was born in Australia) was very adament that this is very rude, callng somone He or She when they were present. She would say "SHE is the cat's mother" meaning you can use the word she or he when referring to an animal but not a human being when they are present
i like this segment because I encountered many times with individuals who likes to overtalk without letting you finish. Especially with some who are either rude, attention seeking or have ADHD. Next time when that happens to me (which happens from time to time) then I will stay shut until that person is finished. I will say like a relief for the person that "that's good to let that out quickly because you do not want to lose your train of thought" into making them think that they have a bad memory and manners. I know it's mean but I have a 9 year old niece and she has ADD. I teach her on how to be nice to other people who are speaking now than later on in her life as a rude individual. A quick lesson is to let her talk first and then said to her "you see how nice that we let you talk and everyone listen so now give other people a chance" but in a really nice way.
thanks for finishing with being at peace with one's own ego, because from the beginning of the video the clips of russel are showing this particular mastery as his master card
"...He wastes no mental energy defending himself..." true, and so hard to do. He's brilliant & a truly authentic human!
so are you , virtual friend
I've actually started to work as a telephone switchboard operator one week ago, and I can testify that the "just stay quiet" mood when tension is building up until the other person feels like she ou he has to say something nice works quite well lmao. I've had people complaining for two minutes straight until they realise that I'm not responding to any of what they are saying, so they pause and then say "well, I know this is not your fault but I really thought that you should let you boss know that this is not okay". Then all you have to say is "I completely understand where your frustration is coming from. Now let's see what I can do for you." And they are suddenly wery nice :D
Yep classic call centre angry customer control , let them run out of screams and anger and then leave it quiet until they apologise then fix the issue
Switchboard operator? The real question is how you're accessing KZhead from the 1940's?!?
You sound like a weirdo
What of in group convos? do you ignore that one person?
I love the way Brand speaks and I watch him often. I am trying to learn his technique. Thank you so much for posting this , it’s fabulous
Am 68, and good information like this is worth your 15 minutes of time. I will continue to learn daily until I die. And practice makes, perfect.
damn he reallly defended himself from 3 other people ganging up on him
I love that Russell called them out. They were being so rude to him as a guest on their show. Who raised them?
Liberals.
@@D_Marrenalv Russell is a liberal
amazing how you can call someone out by not even saying anything and just staring at them in silence l_el_
It was MSNBC ….say no more
@@McSnezzly those show hose probably the political correctness type of liberal and i don't think Russell is like that
This channel needs a comeback. This is amazing! Thank you!
Demanding respect without building ego is definitely a delicate balance. And a big part most people fail is not being respectful themselves.
I practice the "finish your sentence" when interrupted and people do usually take it more serious and hear me out. I switch to a deeper chest tone of voice to overpower their vocal bass so it's not shouting but rather increasing the vocal weight. The interrupter usually have poor communication skills or less respect or familiarity with you. Continue anyways because others are usually still interested and often also annoyed by the interruption.
Johan Abrams pijjjii
Never underestimate the power of ignoring your nemesi
I try to continue my sentence but sometimes it gets confusing to hear two sentences at once. I almost have to plug my ears to avoid losing track of what I'm saying. I'm obviously not going to do that, and I have a comparatively small voice so it doesn't usually help me to get louder. So I just switch my focus from external to internal and basically talk to myself until I finish. I guess it really is the best response to being interrupted, even if it doesn't mean keeping the talking stick.
The tip with switching to a deeper chest voice instead of just "speaking louder" is so great, thank you!
Lol
Russell is highly intelligent and a kind, compassionate person. I wish we had more people like him on the planet.
Yeah too bad he cheated on his wife
😂
He's the type of person that has the hardest time living in a clown's world. Logical, intelligent, compassionate and kind people have an invisible target on their back that most of their lives will not even realize it's there.
It was so compassionate of him to call his girlfriends grandfather (Andrew Sachs), an old man, telling him how he had slept with his grandaughter (Georgina Baillie)
@@freezedriedzombi8242 Which only proves that he’s a fallible human, just like everyone else.
Watched this out of boredom and didn't expect much, but I suspect youve helped a lot of folks with this. Ty.
Russel is a social genious. I am naturally intimidating so i rarely get people being rude to my face but also its a bit lonely because i am surrounded by a bunch of Yes men constantly and my best and only friend just died so. Well man this became dark. Peace and love people!
That Morning Joe interview was shocking. I watched that ages ago and was so taken aback by how rude, disrespectful and unprofessional they were. Russell handled the situation brilliantly but they should be ashamed of themselves for how they conducted themselves.
They're trying to "outcool" him, which can't be done.
...I believe it is because Russell Brand does not fit certain agenda's...
The guy didnt align to their politics, they treated him not just like the enemy , but like enemy that is garbage. One would think TV stations and press should be impartial and only present the facts not the optics or politically correct narrative .
That is how they treat anyone with whom they disagree. Nothing new.
@@3Angela Aye
They underestimate Russel, and he is sharper than they think. Master of language on two continents, and obviously human behavior.
Michael Rivera I like how you made him bilingual.
He's pretty gifted. Very few have mastered both the English language and the English language.
Sharper? Mate he literally swallowed the dictionary.....he is incredibly intelligent, witty and sarcastic without being rude. No one could challenge him and when anyone tries they fail miserably
Sharper than all of them- robots and marionettes...
Quite the opposite, Russell is far dimmer than most of the public realises.
Thank you I really needed to learn this. Now I can finally talk to people
I’ve been learning some of these thing since high school working in retail and now I understand why they’ve been coming naturally. Now I know what to emphasize more of in these situations.
Russel's smile at 7:50 is the most masterful, subtle "gotcha" I've ever seen.
Ikr! 😆👏 I watched that part a few times, that subtle smile was great! I know how it is when you do this and people still just don't get it 😒😂🙄 I'm over here taking mad notes 😃🤣🤣
How about a video on Keanu Reeves? The most likable guy in Hollywood rn, without a doubt.
Yes, absolutely!
John Wick, eh?
11:35
I mean, he is Neo.
He literally says in the video that one is coming
I'm so glad I found you! Excellent advice for me, a person who gets run over quite a lot in social situations.
I loved it when Russell to it to Chelsea Handler on her own show. That was priceless! 😊
Russell openly admits that he constantly works on his ego & anger issues. He's a work in progress & I really appreciate his transparency.
These tactics can also be used to bully people as well. I seen one girl at work who was a little socially awkward, and the one older lady completely ignored her, alienated her, and talked to everyone else but her. I used to try and chat with her to make her feel more included.
That's what should be done. I do the same, and I ignore the loud ones who try to exclude others. The problem is the loud ones will soon Complain and be loud and really cause a scene .. about what sweetie 😂 about being treated the way you treat others???
Youre an empath.. 🙌
@ray h. So you are saying they are the John Wick of hurting peoples feelings?
@@TheJeremyKentBGross *hurting
Queen bee syndrome.. women can be utterly vicious in the workplace
Wow, I needed this 3 days ago. Good to know that I unknowingly incorporated a few of these tactics!!
I just feel with supreme confidence all of this comes naturally