Ask a Psychopath - Would you say you’re dangerous?
2020 ж. 29 Жел.
592 893 Рет қаралды
Would you say you're a dangerous person?
psychopathyis.org/
Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight
by M.E. Thomas
Available in Paperback and Kindle
www.amazon.com/Confessions-So...
Thing is, you don’t have to be violent to be dangerous
Yeah that's what all those "psychos are just normal people" folks don't understand. Just because you're not a serial killer doesn't mean you're not dangerous. These people will engage in deplorable practices, manipulation, psychological abuse and will ruin people's lives for the hell of it.
@@nikobitan7294 exactly
Absolutely. In fact I would argue the psychological harm these people can inflict is far, far worse than physical injury.
You do not need to be a psychopath either.
@@nikobitan7294'Could destroy people's lives without remorse.
Psychopath says "I don't consider myself dangerous" and then goes on to describe a gray rage where they are going to correct someone who feels too safe.
What she is feeling is rage,emotion to psychopath is foreign so when she talks about "not making a decision yourself" it is literaly that, Rage embodies her and she isn't her,now body is controled by emotion rather than logical thinking which is strange to them and if it's strong enough then it will take over.. And i think most of the time that "lack of authority" is at fault for making them burst out to violence,because mistakes of other people do not bother them,it's insignificant to them..But thinking you can control them and their actions is infuriating to them because they already do not care about social norms so hyarchy dosen't apply to them...
*someone who thinks they can control other people and that theyre completely immune to the consequences of attempting to make others feel inferior.
she also said she feels like she has no control over herself for up to an hour at a time and during that period she just wants to harm someone else hahahah
People feel a lot of dark emotions that they don't express aloud. Doesn't mean they'll do them.
@@damienholland8103 But some do.
I love how she talks about psychopathy with the very calm background music you could use for job training videos.
Do you think all killers/serial killers are psychopathic?
A lot of them are actually well integrated into society
And that's one of a huge reasons why our society is more screwed up than it could have been. I mean, I've heard a lot of them are at the very top positions
@@Polina-ji4fe most of them for sure. And by the way once I met a psychopath matching the stereotypes and it took years before I recovered from the experience of getting to know him. He was manipulative, tying to use my weaknesses against me for fun and acting like a monster wrapped in human skin. To me he was not even human. His sight was really unsettling and to this day he is still free to harm people and do his psychopath things. Anyway, ther are more degrees of psychopathy, some are bordering normality but that person to me didn't even deserve to live.
@@Polina-ji4fe if you don't notice that's because probably they are normal enough that they hide it.. Some of them have nothing good in them and are enjoyi harming other people.
So, "gray rage" would be the PRECISE thing people fear about Psychopaths
Shes said acting on grey rage is like fulfilling a destiny... That is terrifying
@@alexsell9219 A normal person has a hard enough time not "snapping", take away the things holding them back= Psychopath
@@westbrad6808 aka lack of emotions and/or empathy.
assuming she is telling the truth. but if she was it is very interesting.
Not necessarily. grey rage+severe trauma and humiliation+effects of poverty+miseducation= a real issue. Erase the last three (which would have been THE JOB for the psych-trias to accomplish in the past 150 years or so) and you have fairly controllable issues. Also unlikely you'd have so many serial killers run around.
i love how everyone in the comments suddenly turns into body language analysts in videos like this
Yeah 😅 considering they already know from the title she is psychopath...
She’s so obviously abnormal though
Humans can also feel off presence. Humans at the end if the day are animals. It’s not always a poser thing for people to be uncomfortable l. She presents in unsettling ways throughout her various interviews.
This seems to be a congress of Psyhopathy.
in addition to psychopathy, this person is expressing autistic traits I think
“I’m not a regular psychopath, I’m a cool psychopath”
I didnt realise I was a psychopath but I tick all of these boxes.
Her lack of scale in a normal person's response to anger, etc., is one of the biggest obstacles my brother (a psychopath) has. The difference is violence isn't his first choice because he just doesn't care, though he has no issue engaging in it. He just goes way overboard when he does.
> Her lack of scale in a normal person's response to anger, etc., is one of the biggest obstacles my brother (a psychopath) has. What do you mean by "lack of scale" relating to emotion? For example "he took my toy" so a typical child might yell both broth might hit or end the friendship?
@@internetcancer1672 I think it's the difference between smacking someone vs beating someone over and over.
@internetcancer1672Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].❤😊
For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.❤😊
The elevator music in the background takes this to a whole other level.
She speaks of her "intended victim" like this was just a chat about her next holiday
I am now afraid of grey rage.
Thanks for sharing. It's ironic or very appropriate that she is a lawyer. This could explain a lot about lawyers.
Yes. There are places in society for everyone to thrive.
In social science research, the rates of psychopathy among CEOs and corporate upper management is about the same as the rates of psychopathy among prisoners. This tells one a lot about our society of corporate capitalism built on extremes of high inequality, dominance hierarchies, social Darwinism, and hyper-individualism. One wonders what an actual functioning free market would look like that wasn't owned, controlled, and ruled by psychopaths, other dark personalities (narcissists, Machiavellians, sadists), and social dominators.
Psychopaths and narccs love positions of power, they are in the justice system, they are lawayers and judges and even in the police force
Certain professions attract psychopaths 1. CEO 2. Lawyer 3. Media (Television/Radio) 4. Salesperson 5. Surgeon 6. Journalist 7. Police officer 8. Clergy person 9. Chef 10. Civil servant
@@Kay-uy4xnI’m surprised about the civil servant one
this is total conjecture but it feels like the reason her smile is so unsettling is because she's smiling for herself and only herself. she isn't smiling to connect, but more than anything she isn't smiling to communicate. it's just muscles moving.
Okay, but if I as a neurotypical smiled at my screen because I came across a witty pun or thought about something that brings me joy, would that be the same thing? Because then I’m not really communicating with anyone either, right? And what about smiling at an article that leaves you confused? You’re not really smiling at the author of the article but also at and for yourself, right? I dunno, just thoughts.
@@curuvari2247 Right, I feel like if she was talking about some gore movie in this way and we didn't know she was a psychopath beforehand, no one would notice her supposedly 'psychopathic' smile or pull apart any sort of gestures she is doing. I think it's just people's cognitive bias kicking in for the most part.
@@curuvari2247 the thing is that in those situations, one is not communicating with anyone, but in this one, the person is, or is meant to be.
@curuvari2247 They never mentioned smiling at an article. You're projecting your experience on the video and the OP of this comment when your comment actually has nothing to do with what they are talking about on the video.
@@elizabethsedai854 I meant that if I read an article, I’d also be smiling to and for myself, just like OP said the woman were only smiling to and for herself. And I was wondering if that would make me look equally unsettling to an observer then. Does that make sense? Otherwise, could you please elaborate on your comment as to how I am projecting? /gen
For people who find it interesting or telling that she chose law as her profession: research shows that sociopaths and psychopaths gravitate to careers in 1. the police 2. medicine 3. law in that order.
ACAP
medicine is kind of a scary one, but i guess it makes sense because if someone gets too emotional over people being hurt, they wouldn't last long in healthcare where they have to endure people dying and being hurt all of the time. but it can also explain some narcissistic doctors who aren't willing to actually listen to their patients
Authority
Entertainment industry and business leadership seems to have a higher occurrence of them too
Don’t forget sales
Her Joker smile, though...
She’s smiling normally you’re being dramatic
That grey rage thing is TERRIFYING
False sense of safety...hhhhhhh
Kinda scary how even rage for a psycopath sounds more methodical than rage for a typical person. The way she emphasizes that when grey-raging she thinks something needs "correcting", whereas a typical person might think something needs to be destroyed or won't even think at all.
And they are very efficient in such harm outrage situations, for example I got high pressure, slight tremor in body, red face, etc all in one, mom stay still, slight smile, like boss in vacation relaxed area talking to slave, calm voice "why so nervous reaction, you can get insult, big deal that i thow out that device, your mom was wrong (she never ever directly apologize btw, always - your parents such a shame - or -your mom was wrong), I cannot know all that your electronic things purpose". I think she have some joy to turn ppl in such mode, like well done complex job. Some scene preparations, proper phrases, precision timings.
@@AABB-px8lcAre you okay?
Reminds me of the brilliant cinematic dialog in the all-red restroom in "The Shining", when Delbert Grady finally admits to Mr Torrence to have recognized the need to "correct" his wife and daughters, in a very violent manner, indeed.
Lmfao! "I don't think of myself as a dangerous person, I think that I can be dangerous for certain people through no fault of my own" Hahaha and therein in lies the problem. Fascinating!
Lack of accountability is always dangerous
The way she tells stories is a perfect demonstration of her lacking empathy. She is dissociated from the emotional experience that her actions inspire in other people, and doesn't consider those people in her decision-making - she is wholly self-interested, which is why it can be great (for a time) to emotionally enmesh with someone like this. They can 'set us free' from all worry until we see the reality of who they are. Humans are insanely complicated.
Jeez…that was perfectly said! Totally agree with you
@@Initium1000 Appreciate it! I hate to admit how much I've had my heart shattered by people like this.
Well said. I would make one minor qualification to what you said though. I wouldn't recommend becoming emotionally enmeshed with someone like this, even for a little bit. There is something compelling and alluring about a person who glides though life with the confidence and amorality of a great white shark. You might even envy someone like that. But psychopaths have the same sense of reciprocity in relationships as sharks do.
Humans are NOT complicated. This is why we understand human beings. The universe appears to be unknowing and a mystery. The ocean depths are still left unexplored, but humans??? No, my lady, they are absolutely not complicated. The average human is innately driven by selfish desires. It starts from birth, and they learn to adjust these impulses through interaction with their community. Empathy can be taught and developed, and it is utterly, and absolutely necessary. A sociopath/psychopath, however, is the embodiment of evil and when you have truly met one, there is no question. There is no complication or rationalizing it more than it really is. (As a psychoanalyst, seek the renowned M. Scott Peck as a good jumping point for more clarity. He has had direct confrontations and interactions with them).
The thing about psychopaths part of the criteria is inappropriate anger . They are dangerous because they feel no guilt or shame or remorse. So literally they don’t feel bad about anything they do so it is more likely they will make choices that are dangerous for themselves and people around them. Even ones that don’t engage in physical violence do things that are harmful to others. Look at big CEO’s they will gut a company do mass layoffs and not feel a thing.
CEOs wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for Capitalism. Capitalisms whole end is profit. Blaming it all on psychopaths is just scapegoating. There are plenty of non-psychopathic CEOs who have gutted companies and just moved on with their lives. The difference is that non-psychopaths have a whole range of cognitive biases that help them rationalise what they do. Psychopaths seem to have less illusions about themselves.
No, Capitalisms whole 'thing' is the ability to have freely trade, which is just an analogy for freedom. Which is why it's synonymous with the the best societies that have ever existed (The West), and attempts to 'correct' it have resulted in some of the worst countries that have ever existed (North Korea, Soviet Union, Cambodia, Maoist China). Psychopaths will do well in any human hierarchy, simply because they have less factors to worry/think about. @@LambentIchor
@@Alexandros11 That's just the propaganda for capitalism. Are you trying to tell me the US is really free?! The reality of capitalism isn't just that capitalists accumulate 'stuff' as in assets. They capture power by using their wealth to have politicians make laws that favour them. This undermines democracy. There never has been 'free trade'. And this is used by capitalists as an excuse for when capitalism collapses. They say, 'If the markets were really free then this wouldn't happen. Austerity is how governments take money from the ordinary worker and use it to bail-out big business. The reality is socialism for the rich. Talking about 'freedom', what is this freedom? You think having a broad range of stuff to consume is freedom? You have to be an American.
@@LambentIchorNo capitalism is fine and ceos do these things as they need to, it’s the same as you feel sorry for a drug addict but you don’t help them as it’s there fault
@@LambentIchor If we were in a Socialist system the all the psychopaths would just become bureaucrats or commissars. If someone with power in a Socialist system wants to destroy your particular way of life you still don't have any recourse.
It's very apparent she is honestly expressing her misunderstanding of how many humans think and feel. She does not understand empathy because one reason to not do something violent or hurtful that many people factor in is to not want someone else to feel the negative consequences that would come from a certain behavior or action. Not wanting another to experience that pain is a huge reason to not do something negative, regardless of being caught or worrying about judgements of others.
That is the greater danger in her psychopathy that she probably could never fully comprehend.
Beautifully expressed.
True.
Imagine taking away the fear of judgment or consequences and keeping the emotions. Every human has the capacity to do harm, and many would if they could get away with it. I think it has little to do with empathy and more to do with consequences.
Did she say gray rage? Her explaining how sometimes she feels the impulse to threaten or hurt someone just because they have a false sense of their own personal safety sent chills down my spine. Unfortunately, it’s quite common for a person to grow cold, angry, and violent with enough pressure. However, being able to smile and calmly explain your impulsive rage which leads to violent emotions rather than rationalizing the action away or defending it, was scary.
Lol honestly it made a lot of sense to me because I grew up around men who were excessively violent (not to me but in their lives) and that is a clinical way of describing their behavior and feelings in a lot of interaction, it’s sort of dissecting the emotions behind the fraze “who the fuck do you think your talking to?” Or “remember who you talking to?” What’s funny about psychopaths is they’re born with personality traits other people have to pushed or conditioned to sometimes over the course of a lifetime.
@@edanridge3023 It's a neurodevelopmental disorder, that results from a complex interaction between genes and environment, so most if not all of them, are the result of their life experience+their genes.
3:43 she turned into Jack Nicholson’s Joker!😂
No, you didn't understand what she said. She said that gray rage is triggered when someone has a false sense of authority AND a false sense of their own personal safety. It sounds this rage is a response to being challenged. She is not just going up to people and threatening them because they look weak.
Maybe you have a problem with listening to people. That's really not a good trait and it can get you into trouble. That is not what she said. What she said is people who have a false sense of their authority and personal safety and they try to assert authority over you. That would piss off every normal person I know.
Her admission of manipulation and self-destruction in part 4 is fascinating.
This well educated goof is a ticking time bomb
She just slipped in the fact that she was a lawyer. Girl, you knew exactly what you were doing!
😂😂😂hahaha FACTS❤❤❤❤❤
Yea you definitely see how her manipulation comes out here she is manipulating her audience . Psychopaths have inappropriate rage so to say they aren’t violent is not true . Even ones that don’t commit physical violence often do acts that harm other cause they have no empathy everyone around them is literally a stepping stool
She never said she didn't know what she was doing?? her entire demeaner was always that she exactlyknows what she is doing....
@@peterlustig8778 it was just a joke. I didn't say anything bad about her. My comment was more praise than anything
@@celeste8157 OK
she smiles to soften her appearance. she’s manipulating us while we watch with that choreographed smile and constant references to being only 5’4”/non-threatening. though, i appreciate that she was willing to open up and give the world some insight.
Glad I am not the only one who noticed her smiles aren't genuine but calculated. Its unsettling
I'm so glad you can notice people with aspd or psychopathy like us have to consciously make our facial expressions because they don't come naturally. If we are putting in the effort to smile there is a goal, doesn't mean it's a bad one but it's effort. You just gotta be smart
I feel like psychopathy overlaps with autism
@@smithsj227 agreed, unsettling is a very good word to describe it.
I actually went to middle school and HighSchool with this person. It was obvious that there was something …. different …. about her. I have sometimes wondered over the years what *exactly* her condition was …. now I know. I was not close to her. I cannot say I knew her well. We played on the same softball team a few times over the years. I remember her being mostly quiet. The only reason I recognized her is her jaw and her smile. The video seemed to randomly appear in my YT feed, and I saw her face, and was like “Is that …J*%?” This is the most chatty I have ever seen her. In my memory, she was very quiet.
I think what she is trying to explain is that she might be damaging, but not necessarily with the intention to harm or will enjoy inflicting harm to others. As a former victim of abuse by different types of anti socials, you can clearly see that many will harm others because they think the other deserves it... it's their fault. But that is totally different than the aspect of sadism. Harming for the sake of harming, to relief themselves of boredom and taking deep joy, self validation by the harm they inflict and the physical/mental signs of inflicted harm, the reactions to the wounds inflicted. I suspect that luckily, only few anti socials are also sadist. Maybe there's a 'sadism spectrum'.
Sadism and psychopathy, along with narcissism and Machiavellianism, are all dark personality traits. When all four are included it's called the Dark Tetrad, but others prefer to limit it to the Dark Triad. The argument is sadism doesn't need to be included because it's a common feature of the other three. I don't know if all psychopaths would have a greater capacity for sadism. It is more common among them, but often it's just a potential, not necessarily actual behavior. The psychopath in this video likely doesn't at present exhibit sadism, if it might be easier for something to trigger it in her under the right conditions.
@@MarmaladeINFP lol, i am one of those sticking by the dark triad theory so to speak.. I wouldn't say that sadism is by definition a part of hybrid narcissism/psychopathy. I've known several people diagnosed as psychopath, or sociopath or narcissistic psychopath, borderline, narcissist. And a few who i don't know of but very strongly leaned towards such a disorder and of all those individuals (about 15 in total) was only one who would harm for the sake of joy/ self validation/ control. A few of the others could harm in a seemingly sadistic way but that's just how it felt. In retro spect i can see they didn't cause harm for the sake of joy or so. For example they might protect a warped view on an issue and gaslight you into thinking you are wrong because you are too sensitive about the issue.... And even others of that group were more or less parasitic/manipulative in their approach not as much 'abusive'. Of course i am no doctor, this is how i experienced these people over very long times.
@@alainvosselman9960 The intention or lack of intention in these types of people is completely irrelevant. The lack of subjectivity and any trace of interiority, as in the case of this woman, means that it does not even make sense to treat them as moral agents. They are simply broken objects that don't work as they should.
@@lucasrinaldi9909 It is relevent when you are trying to understand the clustery B type disorders. I learned about a classification system and in order to categorize one must differentiate between the various shapes and forms they come. I have experienced several people with a cluster b disorder and some who displayed many traits but i can't be sure. I learned this to better protect myself and it's becoming useful when looking at events like politics or so. Or people's behavior in general.
"I don't think psychopaths are predisposed to violence, though it is easier for us to be violent than regular people." Literally the textbook definition.
Some people are more violent than others, a small annoyance and they are hitting people. not everyones immediate reaction to a small annoyance is to hold up a fist.
@@terminalfrost3645Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.
The majority of people that kill or engage in violence are not psychopaths, so what are you worried about?
Gray rage basically is when psychopaths are hit by their narcissism, with the bonus fact that they won't feel guilt or shame for actually hurting you in contrast to simple narcissists. Great.
How is it narcissism? Wouldn't it be more related to a territorial/domination instinct? I am not a psychopath but I actually have experienced something similar to this. It feels very instinctual, like the instinct a social animal has to assert dominance over a lesser/weaker member of the group when they sense that that member is not acting in accordance with their strength and dominance capabilities. I've recognized the behavior in real life in chickens, dogs, and with humans. It's creepy to experience, because I'm philosophically very egalitarian.
ASPD and NPD may be in the same personality disorder cluster, and appear to be associated more closely than they are because of the Dark Triad concept, but having one doesn't automatically mean you have the other.
Or you’re the narcissist and the psychopath simply becomes aware that your ego is way too high
“I’m only 5 foot four” makes it seem like if she was more of a physical presence she would act differently
I'm no psychopath but yeah, if I was a foot taller and anyone challenged me, there would be no backing down, no deescalation.
She described her feelings brilliantly and detailed, it was very insightful. Thank you.
What strikes me most about her is the complete lack of self-awareness. She keeps saying, "I don't do X" before describing doing exactly X. You have to remind yourself before taking this person at face value that she is a psychopath, and it seems like she's not even aware that she's being deceptive.
She would be a good person in a emergency---she has no fear and would be able to think and act without problems.
….hmmmm….asking a psychopathic lawyer if she is dangerous…hmmm…
The lack of eye contact is striking
@bobdarkful How does it strike you?
That concept of making people think they have a false authority over you is a concept thats honestly amazing how well she explained, and the way she landed the idea. I had a friend back in High School that I remember always talked me about how he managed precisely to blackmail his dad, having him warned because he found out some weed from my friend on his school bag; like I remember how he told me everything was pretty much planned and already had backup plans if that didnt work out, like I remember how he even explained me how that would ruin his relationship with his dad forever because of breaking into the concept of distort who has authority over who. He was such an inteligent dude, but also a very very weird guy, always was relaxed, never mad, he was always focused. I wonder what hes doing now lol
Seems like maybe he might have been a psychopath
Probably a CEO now lol
My mom very like a book The Count of Monte Cristo, now I get it why.
huh? His dad had the weed and his friend sold it to him? Backup plans.....I don't understand the way this is written
@@davebriseno361 it's incoherent
I think the person’s “false sense of authority and safety” is referring to entitled complacency. Grey rage wouldn’t be sparked because someone simply feels “too safe.”
Grey rage I've never heard anyone describe the feeling so well.
Wow you’re cool
@MypronounIsKing Not as cool as you!
Most of the people interviewed by the "experts" on psychopathy were in prison so certain attributes are overemphasized in the literature. I've never harmed anyone and I certainly don't consider myself dangerous. I explain it like this, psychopaths are outcome-oriented. What would harming someone achieve? I'm not a sadist. And, I really don't want to go to jail. Likewise, why would I steal? There are less risky ways to get money (like working at a job that I'm good at, I enjoy, that pays well, and that isn't hard). Most psychopaths glide through life following the past of least resistance. The ones who are in jail usually have other disorders, have a different cost-benefit calculation, or less impulse control. The important thing is that we generally don't feel guilt about the things we do, which makes OUR calculation different from the calculation of a normal person.
I wonder which books she’s talking to?
She's turning to the bookcase to hide a blemish on her right cheek , which could be a scar . Perhaps receiving violence is a greater than average risk for psychopaths ?
the 'gray rage' concept is fascinating
Wow. Incredible to hear and see someone that can trigger repulsion. That implies how human have survived as a grouped species. We can recognize the odd one in a fundamental level.
The happy-go-lucky musical backtrack to this subject though! 😅😵💫
It's her emotionless smile that freaks me out 😆
@bobdarkful On the contrary, she appears to be displaying the emotion of happiness.
Grey rage is so interesting
These are so insightful 👏 brilliant videos! Would be good to see more.
As a highly empathetic person myself, perhaps what someone would call an “empath” I don’t think empathy=goodness. There have been times where I have been very manipulative or overbearing to others, mostly when I was younger because of my high empathy, either by accident or on purpose, to sort of force them to feel better faster, because seeing someone in pain is too much for me sometimes. I am working on it now, and I do consider myself to be a good person. This is why I think ruling out people with ASPD as bad people is incorrect and damaging. My friends little sister has ASPD and she is not empathetic, but still good, and makes good choices simply because she knows it’s right. Empathy or lack thereof does not define whether or not someone is a good person, their actions and words do.
While an inherent lack of empathy does not make a person "bad" it is a major life obstacle. Life is filled with nuance and gray areas of moral or ethical decision making.
@@GlichyyI think you misunderstood my comment- I meant anti social personality disorder, not autism. ASPD stands for anti social personality disorder. ASD stands for the outdated label of autism spectrum disorder.
@@astridliloh my god you're completely right. Some other comments in this comment section got me heated and my brain turned off. So sorry about that.
She seems very likable to me. I have a friend who also has psychopathy and whom I like. He likes me too, and we're good friends, despite his lack of empathy. His limitations would make other people lonely but his lack of empathy saves him from that, and he is happy. Just different, and that's ok.
I would highly suggest you ask yourself exactly why they are your friend.
@@ChrisGossTheBoss Thanks! He's been a good friend, and at times a close friend, for most of my life. I'm pretty sure that he just likes and finds me interesting, and someone he can talk with more openly about how he sees and feels (or doesn't feel) others.
She literally talked about trying to kill a baby opossum. Rewatch the series. Also, your "friend" doesn't care about you if he really is a psychopath. You make no sense unless you too are a psychopath. No offense... That's what the other person in the comment above implied. You miss interpreted that which is concerning too🤔
@@EyesOfCalm Trying to kill a baby opossum disturbs me - but, then again, I haven't met anyone who, when you get to know them properly, hasn't disturbed me in some way or other. Friendships and other relationships don't have to be symmetric: what I feel for a friend doesn't need to be reciprocated in exactly the same way; it usually isn't. It's a matter of treating people on terms that suit both them and yourself. My friend is indeed a true friend, for whom I feel empathy and warmth towards and who, though he can't empathise with my feelings that well (if at all), is still loyal and full of goodwill towards me. He just has a few good friends like that, in my case three decades worth of friendship, and he's proved that he is reliable whenever I might need help, just as I am for him. (Slightl caveat: he's more of a high-functioning sociopath than psychopath.) More generally, most of my friends and family are neuro-divergent at least one way or the other, and you just have to treat everyone individually, sometimes having to manage the relationship and keep a certain distance or stick to certain safe/comfortable modes of interaction with each other. I've only met a few actually evil people; nearly everyone else lives up (or down) to expectations.
@@EyesOfCalm A psychopath can definitely care about another person, just not in an emphatetic way, more in a transactional/symbiotic way.
Fascinating and illuminating. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing
Psychopaths are very charming. I find myself almost believing everything she says. Almost.
You completely believe how media portraits psychopaths. Completely.
its not like she is lying, she is just explaining things that make sense. if you are reasonable you should believe that.
in addition to psychopathy, this person is expressing autistic traits I think
@@how.disability.justice and why do you think that?
@@how.disability.justicewtf
It's good to see a realistic interview of one. Hollywood had glamorized psychopaths too much.
This series was excellent, very enlightening. Thank you to the participant for sharing.
I do know what she's talking about with the rage, it is exactly happening in me as she's describing it, it's like a need to show every person if they're unaware of crossing social boundaries, it does feel really out of control and obsessional, like fulfilling my destiny. It is also very clear-headed, but it kinda tends to deconcentrate me from the social situation or my own social pleasures when it happens. And yet, I am not a psychopath, although I may have disturbed empathy, but it would mostly be caused by dissociation, and at times I do get out of this disconnection form my feelings, I no longer have some of these other problems that she's talking about on this channel too.
Thank you to this lady for sharing. It offers tremendous insight. 🙏💐
I just watched a separate clip of this same interview where she says that before she got therapy she never cared what people thought of her. She said that’s why high school was so easy for her. She also said that she does not feel guilt or remorse. But here, she’s saying that psychopaths feel all of these things like regular people. She is saying two opposite things.
I think that they can feel it but they tend to supress it
Thats a common theme with the interviews with her. She says one thing then goes on to say the opposite???
shes a fake
Probably in general they feel but she doesn't feel it at an intense level , so she can just brush that off
I think she has a hard time explaining the things she was “taught to do” as a kid, growing up in a hippie environment, versus the absolute range of what her response could be in any particular situation. I think it’s not helpful to say “well she says she doesn’t have empathy, then she says she has empathy!” When she’s likely trying to relay “I can only have empathy in hindsight, which I learned to do through my non-violent childhood, and through seeking treatment as an adult.” She also laughs at some of the things she does, because she sees how silly or weird her actions were compared to what society considers normal. She’s laughing at her self because that’s what she would do to someone else. She can’t trigger herself, because she doesn’t see herself as a threat, and doesn’t care. We’re forgetting that most psychopaths are raised along side us, and can learn how to “act” in public, and can learn to reduce their frustration and anger when disciplined because they also can learn pattern recognition. E.g. If I do these things and people get mad every time, and punish me, I will be angry and frustrated, so I will no longer do that.
Are you dangerous? "No. Maybe. To certain people. Not more than non-psychopaths though. Non-psychopaths are actually pretty dangerous." Lawyers, man... Then she talks about her would-be victims that she couldn't track down lol. Amazing.
Most psychopaths (and sociopaths) are NOT physically violent. They damage and destroy in other ways
I think data showed that the most anti social boys, around 2 years old, showed primarily physical violence (kicking, biting, punching), and most of those things gets weeded out, because it's so on-the-nose. Girls tend to show reputation destroying behavior. Interestingly, when asked if she's dangerous, she talk about violence and not manipulation of someone else's reputation, which she earlier admitted was her modus operandi to the point she didn't know how to behave without doing it. For example, an anti social girl, my gf's niece is a sociopath, and she told everyone that her uncle (my gf's brother) beat her. The guy was wrecked. It got serious and he was facing serious consequences. It turned out she was lying. She was 13-14. It's extremely dangerous to be around. It's like my gf's brother is unarmed, and she's a snake he can't see. It's easily overlooked and subtle if you're not careful.
The music in the background making it sound like a pep talk but she’s discussing murderous thoughts
This is interesting. Life is a school that never stop educating you.
"my playground years" ive never heard it described that way. but grey rage is something i experience daily on the interstate.
Her dead eyes and cheesy smile is kind of a giveaway
It's easy to say when you know that she's a psychopath. But is every person who fake smiles and isn't making emotional eye contact a psychopath? People making generalizations is pretty harmful to those who don't actually have a problem.
Don’t fool yourself, there is no easy “ giveaway”. That’s part of her personality.
@@user-ol5bj4dm2v Your comment is accurate, I have psychopathy and I NEVER smile, even as a child, not in photos, I don't even find jokes funny.. I use to envy people who can show facial expressions and emotions, as a person I just can't fake things if it isn't real or intrinsic, so I'm stuck with this paralyzed face.
@@TheFriendlyPsychopath Where did you get the idea of being a psychopath?. You sound more like something else entirely is going on... something not at all related to psychopathy.
@:55 This is the classic manipulative rhetoric that you will hear from a psychopath/sociopath. "I am just like you" or "We no different from you." "Sociopaths are no different from other people" etc, etc or some variation on this theme.
And so many people fall for it and end up parroting it, because they believe in the pop culture idea of a principled psychopath.
Asserting they are a good person and making zero effort to demonstrate it, or even deliberately doing bad things.
I’m sure she’s a joy to work with.
According to her, she is not. She had a friend who told her she should be tested for an antisocial personality disorder. She couldn't hold down a job or have relationships with people for longer than 3 years. The tests identified her as having psychopathy which led her to getting a therapist. That work helped her moderate her interactions with people and it improved her relationship with her family probably because it gave them the information they needed to understand that she has a mental health issue.
So, there is a degree of dissociation via "grey rage."
why is she aalways looking to the right?
Cuz it's scary when she stares straight at you?
We do that during convo we do that when thinking during conversation
She's deceptive.
Oddly, or not, I like her and I find her candour refreshing. I also wouldn't want to get on her bad side. Hollywood has demonised the psychopath, and yet I think secretly, people are jealous of her lack of empathetic feelings. She would make a good soldier or surgeon. She has a reasonable understanding of good and bad and stays within those boundaries. I could imagine many empaths wouldn't have the same control or rationality.
but like, that's what being violent is. not having those barriers to prevent you from acting on urges to be violent. yes, i completely buy that psychopaths don't have any stronger predisposition to violence, but that doesn't matter since they are still more likely to be violent because of the lack of barriers
"through no fault of my own...." ah-ha hmmm.
I’ve learnt so much from her book. Now I don’t fear psychopaths as much, I feel sorry that they don’t have empathy
You don’t need to feel sorry because they don’t have an emotional value to it. Same thing when people commented that she seems full of herself because she said she’s smarter than 99% of her viewers or readers. There is just no emotional connotation to it
My feelings don’t reflect her. I feel empathy for my own peace of mind.@@gil3744
That’s good to hear, as someone diagnosed with primary psychopathy I’m friendly, until I’m not.
It's unwise not to fear them as they will have NO qualms about destroying you if you happen to cross them in some way.
@@TheFriendlyPsychopathYou cannot get diagnosed with primary psychopathy, nor psychopathy for that matter. Primary psychopathy is not a diagnosis, its just the first sector of psychopathy which focuses on affect. While the sector 2 focuses on behavior which is caused by affect. You cannot be diagnosed with 1 sector of psychopathy. Secondly psychopathy is not a clinical diagnosis, it cannot be diagnosed and put in your medical records it is used in forensic psychiatry, and prison settings to assess excessively problematic repeated criminals.
The term 'gray raging' is new to me, but I love the concept because in my life I've met many people who deserved this clarifying experience.
I feel like I have grey raged and I am nowhere near a psychopath. against people who think they can tell you what to do while theyre below you or on your level and attempt to rig positions of power against you, you can only respond by putting them in their place and letting them know that you will never accept that behaviour and that there are consequences to acting that way. granted, i am not violent; the consequences are always social in nature. edit/note: I still feel like myself but its almost like a video game where I just have to make the best choices to maximise my benefit until the situation is over. I have never failed to benefit from this.
You sound quite authoritarian
@@jonathanodude6660 "I feel like I have grey raged and I am nowhere near a psychopath" Bruh. Do you hear yourself?
@@lsdave42 this is KZhead comments man it doesn’t have to sound like fine literature. What they describe doesn’t sound unique to them.
For a smart person she has an insane amount of self serving bias. The empathy that non-psychopaths feel isn't some inherent limitation, it's part of (arguably a prerequisite to) normal social functioning. The fact that this empathy can still break down in highly stressful or emotional situations which makes these people also prone to evil behavior does not somehow validate the psychopathic behavior patterns.
I think that a deep work of self-awareness can balance out serious conditions, even one like this. Probably knowing the consequences of his actions in a practical sense balances his lack of empathy
*her
They will never beable to feel guilt , remorse or empathy . The best that can be done is they get more self awareness to stop old patterns. However they will never feel empathy .
We understand consequences, it's what stops us from doing many things. It's just that things that don't rely on a physical or otherwise important asset in their punishment do not cross our minds, for instance we have no moral qualms about taking someone's money, but legal concerns often prevent us from doing so.
@@theeguy9022I honestly think that every human could and many likely would commit horrendous acts if there were no consequences. I personally feel an overly emotional person is more dangerous. It reminds me of the old argument of how someone can be morally sound if they do not believe in God.
I understand that they have a brain problem that inhibits them from feeling empathy. What I would like to know is how reason factors into their handicap. So for example, you may not naturally empathize with another human being, but you can reason that they have similar experiences to your own, and that if you want a certain kind of consideration from others, it would make sense to give back in kind.
Bingo! This is what Ive wondered. This woman is insanely intelligent. Wouldn't a mere rational understanding of the golden rule make sense? Maybe not.
Maybe that is exactly the affective empathy bit that is missing? I assume that you can also on a cognitive level understand that stuff like providing comfort, kindness, basic decency is sort of transactional because you observed that social pattern over time - but it may require an extra step and more (constant) awareness? Our affective empathy could be what keeps many of us in check most of the time because we kind of automatically imagine how others would feel in certain situations. And we don’t want that for them. Like, I can imagine scratching out my abuser’s eyes on an abstract level for a few seconds but I’d never actually physically harm them if given the chance because I don’t want anyone to suffer; it doesn’t erase my own suffering, after all. Just creates more suffering within them and myself and the world. But that’s the putting-oneself-in-other-folks’-shoes part that I suppose is missing in folks with psychopathy and NPD (?) Maybe? Don’t know though.
So what she's saying is that if a normal person has traits commonly associated with psychopathy, they have an increased risk of being more violent? Isn't that just another way of saying psychopaths are predisposed to violence?
exactly 🫢
I think she is saying that they don't have boundaries when engaging in violence. Most people who throw a punch in a fit of anger back off for fear of being hurt and they stop because they reach a level where they made their point known and going further could do permanent damage to the victim. My opinion is that females are much less likely to engage in violence than males are. She stated in an earlier interview that she has no interest in torturing or killing any creature. I relate it to people who think geniuses all become research scientists or phyiscists. The truth is that many of them become firefighters, ranchers, farmers, bartenders like all the rest of us do.
I once worked with a psychopath, i identified her almost immediately and i was not surprised later when i learned of all the lies she told and the harm she tried to create. She ran away from her kid dumping him on her elderly father to another country with a lover.
I find it interesting that she chooses to analyze herself to the best of her ability. That is something a lot of psychopaths are not usually willing to do.
Starts out by saying she’s not at all violent nor has violent tendencies and then by the end basically admits that : 1) there’s a monster inside of her that is willing to take it to any level 2) is not in control of her actions during her fugue states 3) she has indeed stalked intended targets 4) literally cares about nothing and no one This ladies and gentlemen is why you absolutely cannot trust a psychopath. Ever.
It's weird seeing someone finally explaining what my autistic self has been trying to explain about people. I find it hard to understand psychopathic thinking and living even though I'm almost always right there with her, just slightly more aware of the surroundings. I don't ever do anything like steal or hurt someone, not because I can't but because it seems like too much work. You have to think 15 steps a head and the worst part is the shame of being caught. I'm not heartless, but I do think that more people who are criminals are everyday people who are simply terrible and evil human beings. But they come in all forms, though it is more known that psychopaths can fall into that category... I do think that I would be more scared of a pathological liar or someone who uses anger or hate to justify their actions. This lady may be in the minority of her label, but I find it healthy to see this as she isn't low functioning which I think most killer psychopaths are, she is high functioning enough that she understands herself and can express herself in a way that neurotypicals can comprehend. That is highly admirational.
Kinda limited view, youre just a normal person, and so is a criminal, they just had a harder life or early life background, morals are programmed and can still be overcome by how far one is willing to go to survive
Dude, autism and psychopathy are completely different illnesses. You have empathy, she doesn't.
@@apachehelicopter7625 Still, radically different to psychopathy, even sociopathy which is also an antisocial disorder is radically different to psychopathy. And is truly a serious mistake to even compare an autistic person with a psychopathic one. Should never been done, at all. Psychopathy is literally pure evil. Autism is affected nervous system that affects comunication and socialization, psychopathy is complete lack of empathy.
I thought her lack of eye contact resembles autism. She prefers talking to the bookshelf.
The difficulty of thinking multiple steps ahead for an autistic is caused by limited cognitive empathy. But a psychopaths deficiency is affective empathy, not cognitive empathy. It would take less effort for a psychopath, if they were motivated, to plan out an immoral course of action. And it's the psychopath's limited affective empathy that makes them potentially dangerous, if they ever do go down that path. The thing is that, like she explained, there is no particular reason most psychopaths would be generally inclined toward violence. It probably more has to do whether they grew up in violence, experienced it themselves, and had it modeled by others. Personally, as a general rule, I'd have more fear of those on the extreme end of Machiavellianism and narcissism, the other two of the Dark Triad traits.
This is fire bars
0:30 to 1:10 shows how she doesn't really even comprehend the concept of empathy on an abstract level.
I absolutely love the start of this video, the idea that psychopaths are no more violent as a group because a lot of us might be more violent if we thought we could get away with it. I'm not sure I buy it entirely but it's an interesting theory. It's gray rage that makes me think the theory has a hole in it, actually. Since non-psychopaths generally don't experience this phenomenon, and since it can increase the risk of violence, it'd stand to reason that with a higher appearance rate among psychopaths, this would be met with a commensurate rise in violence, or at least in likelihood of violence? I am not attempting to suggest that all or even most psychopaths are dangerous; I am quite sure that many will do no harm if there's no reason, and even those who do cause harm don't usually take any pleasure in doing it, they're simply not calculating for it at all.
I'm not a psychopath but I have definitely experienced something similar. a peer of mine had decided that because her random allotment of a crucial tool/workspace was assigned to her, she had authority over how it was used even after she had no need for it. when mine broke (not my fault) and needed maintenance, i got permission from her and our supervisor to use hers. i made special care to use it the way she wanted me to but glassware broke anyways. she tried to punish me for not following her instructions by preventing me using it (she had 0 authority). I was raging while "correcting" her.
I don't think psychopaths are dangerous at all as well. As long as you don't have anything, could attain anything or are in between them and anything they want.. It's very interesting to me that she, I think, actually believes that the only reason people in general aren't voilent is for fear of consequence. It's telling actually. For me it's very hard to believe that people don't have empathy, but that makes it clear as day. Very interesting, and informative..
I'm no psychopath, but I think the gray rage she is referring to bubbles up in a lot of regular folk too, especially over the reasons described. When somone who has no authority treats you with contempt, or humiliates you, or in some way tries to exert power over you, I think the common response is to "correct" them, as she puts it. It doesn't mean you will be violent (though you'll go there if they persist or physically threaten you), but you're so affronted by their presumptions it does trigger a kind of a rage response. This is not psychopathy, it is self defense. She's wrong on this one imo.
This one is the important video about psychopathy, I think.
I love the " my other psychopathic friend " is there a psychopath club ? Where they all meet up to dicuss their techniques or ? 😂
Hi, Jamie! Long time since we played softball back in our little SoCal town. I have this sneaking suspicion that you sometimes had grey rage toward me …..
Are you trying to quietly dox her?
Her point about "normal" people hurting and killing more than psychopaths is 100% a fact.
This is FASCINATING!!!
No, it isn't. Maybe if you compared raw numbers that would be true - but only because there are simply more "normal" people, and psychopaths are about 1-3% of society. But if you consider how likely a given group is to be violent/commit crimes - psychopaths are HUGELY overrepresented.
Uhhhh, you know why? There's VASTLY more "normal" (neuro-typical) people then there are psychopaths. That's just going by sheer numbers.
Found a psychopath.
I've heard her mention at least three times that her height is 5'-4". I really feel that if she were 5 or 6 inches taller, she would have been jailed long ago already from letting one of these rages get out of hand. And really, she wouldn't care one way or the other what happens to her.
0:21 It's funny how she says that psychopaths are not predisposed to violence more than others and explains how normal people would be just as violent it they had no guild, empathy and other psychopathic attributes. Yes lady if everyone was a psychopath, everyone would be as prone to violence as one.
@Tobi-pn2xs You've just contradicted yourself. Everyone can perform violent acts under certain circumstances. Most don't because they don't want to be caught or they can control their impulses etc.
"ME Thomas"/ Jamie Lund/Townsend on Dr Phil
Taking all the emotions away from regular people they would be just as violent as a psychopath…Yeah you just turned them into a psychopath.
yes. The answer was and is, yes. Her example of everyone else would be dangerous if they had no guilt, just says she has no guilt. You’re safe, as long as your death has no benefit.
I am very surprised at my reaction to this extremely powerful and honest video. I like this woman and would have no qualms in having her as a friend. This woman is extremely intelligent, rational, self aware, introspective, objective, open minded, conscientious, responsible, accountable, honest, direct, reasonable and understands she is different from others and most admirably she accepts the fact and truth about how she is different and actively has been in treatment to understand AND learn how to become a better human, person, employee, friend, daughter, etc… I am beyond grateful for this priceless education you’ve provided me with today. I know, my gratitude and appreciation means nothing to her but it does to me. And I am perfectly good with that.😎
I do find it surprising about the friendship part. If she can't feel empathy what makes people sure she'd even be a good friend? What makes you certain she'd care at all if she made you feel shit or cancel plans on you at the last minute? If she can't connect deeply how can she even form meaningful friendships? Wouldn't they all lack depth? She's never mentioned feeling any love in any of her videos.
I Hope you find a Nice psycopath to befriend someday😂
They are very sly.....and their goal is to get your trust.
@@sharongreen21523:42 is when she gets ready to go fight Batman! 😂😂
nah this is definitely her alt 💀
I just love her. I can't quite put my finger on the why though.
Because shes a charming psychopath, thats why you feel like that.
She kinda makes her own rules, the world is her jungle. The world can be a harsh place female detachment could be practical, agreed?@@Nolia-fk5hq
I really don't.
Define evil: a psychopathic lawyer. I'm sure she enjoys dragging regular people through the legal system.
The Grey Rage. When someone thinks their authority transcends their morality 💀
I am reading her book right now and there are multiple instances in her childhood where she described being violent. 🤔
@davidm9323 What's the title (and author) please?
Even when she says "that's my mistake" her lack of morals is apparent. Somebody getting angry over a political disagreement is their mistake. Continuing to talk is actually the right thing to do, unless you're proven wrong. But she seems to only understand the consequences stemming from that behavior. Not what's actually right or wrong. Wild stuff. What insight to have a psychopath who doesn't just lack empathy, but also doesn't concern herself with understanding others emotions. I don't mean to talk about her like an animal, but there is something so unusual about these responses.
My observation is that (male) Aspies and Psychopaths (especially machiavellists) make "fitting" teams. Despite the differences. I think it might be the grey rage partially (with an Aspie just detecting the instability of the situation, and the psychopath acting on it, or using it). Maybe its also because both have neurodiversities that make them into good observers somehow, so they have an outsider perspective. Its complex, but Ive been thinking about it a lot, because I come across Aspies quite a bit in the Arts, and as Freelancers, and Psychopaths also in Freelancing, Business, Politics.
Please don't compare us male aspies to psychopaths. It's offensive and you're clearly not qualified to make that assessment.
"i don't care if i get beat up" It's strange i thought psychopaths were concerned with self preservation?
Getting beat up isn't going to be the end of a psychopath, and if it is, the self preservation part comes when their entire being is truly threatened... In which case, they don't care about the death of said threat, even if they cause the death.
They are. They're simply bolder and lack fear like normal people. Risk taking is very common among them.
She explains it in another video that she can experience the adrenal "fight or flight" sensation in her body, she just doesn't experience it as fear. I imagine self preservation for her is a bit like playing a game - you try to win at monopoly, but you don't genuinely have that much emotional stake in the outcome
Psychopaths tend to have little sense of fear and anxiety about physical harm and death. It's because they are deficient in affective empathy. They usually don't feel strongly, in particularly not those kinds of emotions. They have a tendency to act without thinking about consequences, for themselves and others. That is precisely what makes them dangerous and so the harm they cause can be entirely unintentional. One psychopath talked about inviting his brother to visit a cave to collect bat poop. He didn't think to mention to his brother that he wanted to collect the bat poop because there was a disease there that is known to kill people. As a doctor, he was simply curious to study the infectious pathogen. It simply didn't concern him that it might kill both himself and his brother. But it's not like he had a death wish.
Self preservation only apllies to doing jail time for many years thats a big consequence that we try to avoid any other consequence is so little in comparison we really dont care
cool video
I commented on a previous video of her - I have borderline personality disorder and some of the traits we have are somewhat similar which is scary. Sometimes I fantasize about physical altercations if I disagree with someone even though I wouldn’t engage because feeling that way is unhealthy. Also I would feel immense regret about a physical altercation which she’s not capable of. I think we would handle situations similar but Borderline people can be very very emotional or unhinged.
@@dinahn6955 Emotional dysregulation shows up in Psychopathy too. Also her experience relates mostly to Primary Psychopathy, but it fails (for the most part) to account for the experience of people who align more with Secondary Psychopathy, and people who are right in the middle of those to classic, but rigid sub-sets of the construct as it is traditionally studied and understood.
I was thought to be borderline for a while but got re diagnosed as bipolar disorder. Borderlines are similar to sociopaths but they do feel guilt shame and remorse not on the same way a normal person would . They have intense emotions and rage outbursts and an intense fear of abandonment. Sociopaths do not experience that literally they could care less when someone has left the room .