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We need “I’m a pathological liar. Ask me anything”
@@Risingofthephoenixxx They can add a lie detector but if they can lie past that it’s impossible to tell 😂
Pathological liars is the worst kind of psychopathic trait. I unfortunately befriended too many of those individuals, and I definitely learned my lessons.
So you want them to interview my ex 😅
😂😂
I would click that vid in 0.0001 sec!
I’m Greg’s wife. 😊 I think it’s also important to note that ASPD is a spectrum. Not everyone’s journey will look like Greg’s. He put a lot of work in to be where he’s at, and I’m beyond proud of him. I think a lot of people with ASPD could also see improvements like Greg, but they don’t have the awareness that their thoughts & actions are creating their chaotic life. Just know, you can’t change someone with ASPD. It’s an inside job. We don’t advise you wait around for them to “get better”. They need to do that on their own. Greg and I broke up for 6 years from age 22 to 28. In that time, I found recovery and learned how to be more assertive and have boundaries. He, on the other hand, was in & out of jail and ended up doing a 3 year prison bid. That bid is where he got diagnosed & later entered therapy. We reconnected once he got out, but even then we still had some growing up to do. All we ask is that you learn to love yourself first. We believe everyone is innately worthy of love. There’s some older videos on my channel about ASPD, but I’m not Jubilee so don’t expect high quality haha.
💜💜💜
That's what's up. Well said.
This comment is so wholesome 💚 thank you
Amazing points, thank you for your perspective!
I am happy for you three
“There’s huge genetic component to sociopathy, and the other half of that is your environment so I have to do everything I can with his environment to overcome his genetics”. That was very heart warming to hear
While genetics may play a role in certain traits and behaviors, including sociopathy, it is an oversimplification to attribute such complex phenomena solely to genetic factors. Environment, upbringing, and social influences also significantly shape an individual's development and behavior. Additionally, the idea of "overcoming genetics" through environmental manipulation is contentious and raises ethical concerns. Human behavior is multifaceted, and it is crucial to consider a holistic approach that acknowledges both genetic predispositions and environmental influences without oversimplifying their interplay.
@@TheNotablePath AI generated response (style is clocky.) Additionally it also skipped over the referral to genetics as one half of the equation
@@terralexj9468 Thanks for drawing attention to this. I don't know about y'all but I'm learning how to live with AI in real time!
Hearing him talk about wanting better for his son was actually super heartwarming
or is that him manipulating u🫵🤨 (this is completely satire.. i mean it could be true but i am joking)
@@itsmeashley2083 The dude in the video is a low functioning enneagram 8 ie: Mike Tyson. I grew up around a lot of them. My brother is one and my son is one. Hard work lol. Read "From fixation to Freedom", by Eli Jaxon Bear for reference.
@@itsmeashley2083Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.
@@itsmeashley2083 yeah, it's like a sociopath, and be a hero for not being so bad is pretty common for them
“have you ever manipulated anyone to benefit you?” “yeah, of course” idk why but this made me laugh so hard
Pretty sure most people have done that at least once.
same! haha. classic sociopath answer
that girl kinda irked me. i loved most of the other questions tho, very introspective
me neither i feel like everyone does that and its just a fact i guess
@@squalogender i can't remember any moment of my living memory where I did such a thing
You gotta appreciate this guy putting himself out there and admitting to his flaws.
I don't think being a sociopath is a flaw.
@@charlieinsane I’m talking about mistakes he’s made in part due to his sociopathic traits. I’m not saying being a sociopath altogether is an inherent flaw.
@@charlieinsane How is a limited ability of emphaty not a flaw!?? and all the other negative things?
@@leiciKeksfan It's actually a power. Empathy makes you weak.
@@charlieinsane How does it make you weak?
The funny thing about his answer regarding "How do I know you haven't been lying to us?" is that convincing people it doesn't benefit you to lie is an amazing avenue towards manipulating someone. As a sociopath myself, I know I've used this exact method. I'm not suggesting he was lying by any means and that was actually the best way to answer the question as presented but it's definitely something people should be aware of when dealing with other individuals. The best liars will convince you they are bad liars or that it doesn't benefit them to lie to you.
My personal answer would be something like "Truthfully, there is no way I can definitively prove to you I haven't been lying, and the same thing goes for almost everybody you meet, or any information you receive. It's ultimately up to you to decide whether or not things are true. So, do *you* think I've been lying?"
But then again, for him he did mention a lot of these things are transactional to him. So it's very possible he just wasn't.
I wonder how many people never lie... I think most people like to some degree
@@cultofmel YES
@@maartjegoede9330I'd like to think of myself as very honest, but I do lie somewhat frequently. It's mostly to not worry others, so I say things are better than I think they are, which is also partially to tell myself that it's not that bad.
He seems like a sweet person with some disconnect. But the fact that he’s working on it not only for himself but others proves that he is, deep down. A sweet person.
That’s what I wanted to say. From what I’ve read any sociopathy, and from the few occasions I (intentionally) communicated with it h sociopaths (but to be fair only online and in text), that’s not what it looks like. Once someone can say “I *feel* that…,” that’s not it. Feeling attachment, connection, “wanting to be the best dad I can be” is not what sociopathy is like. That said, Greg does seem to be a person who genuinely wants to be better, so I can only be glad he’s not that textbook example.
Or deceptively dangerous
@philliploco5037 Once convinced or bored of his kindness, it may slip, and boredom may bring more destructive or passive adventure maybe exciting adventure in the let's break boundaries to feel alive territory.
I'm a mental health professional and it's crazy to me how much people get "disappointed" when real life sociopaths aren't like the scary ones they read in books, listen to on Spotify, or watch in their 8000 crime shows. Most "real ones" act pretty ordinary but their view on the social interactions is different given their lower level of emotion, empathy, and general interest in the interaction beyond what they can get out of it (transactional social interactions). Avoiding prison becomes the main reason to lay low and try to control impulses with mixed results. Many get into drugs and alcohol or feckless activities in order to "feel" something because their emotions are muted. Props to his wife for sticking by him as I'm sure it wasn't easy but it seems like he wants what's best for his son and to not have the ASPD develop as severely in his son, by trying to control the environment (which helps lessen severity of personality disorders).
Exactly. I had a roommate who had anti social personality disorder and he acted like and had a very similar perspective to Greg with the transactional nature to relationships and using cognitive empathy to logic through others emotions which sometimes worked, but others was like Greg said, not what that person needed.
"Mental health professional" Tell us about how lower back pain stems from a poor relationship with one's father.
We definitely have an influx of sociopaths due to narcissistic and shallow social media and hookup culture. We are raised in an environment where having any true empathy is viewed as stupidity and a weakness.
@@fatcatontario well that's definitely the nurture piece. I've known people with similar severity of anxiety disorders raised in different households and it makes a difference. One household the parent enables the person and is hands off mostly to not "trigger" the anxiety, and the other household is about keeping the person to a routine and being supportive but also not enabling them to use their anxiety as an excuse to get out of something they don't want to do (e.g. -chores or homework). Personality disorders and a lot of mental illnesses can stay dormant or present very mildly in a supportive , routine based household with boundaries and appropriate flexibility. We don't have mental illness in my family but one of my cousins has a developmental disorder. They raised him alongside his peers, sent him to regular school with an aide and they let him go to prom and clubs and all sorts of stuff and let him do NT kid stuff and he's now a functioning adult in society with a job and he was one of the most popular kids in his school. Why? Because my aunt and uncle treated him normally while giving him appropriate levels of support. Mental illness, in many cases, is similar.
The idea that sociopaths are violent, dangerous people is pervasive. Is there any truth to the idea? I figure lots of sociopaths are not violent and dangerous but most violent, dangerous people are sociopaths. If not is there a term that fits violent, dangerous people besides sociopaths?
I love how they portrayed this genuinely as a disorder. He stated he always felt like something was wrong and had a desire to be different. Once he got his diagnosis he makes a conscious effort to do better. People with these disorders deserve support and compassion, not fear and exclusion
Yes, 100%, because the fear and exclusion is the kind of environment that causes people to go off the deep end. Compassion helps us to keep everybody in a community still. Totally agree.
Yes they do but also YOU date them and become their friend 😂 because personally I refuse
SOCIOPATHY ISNT A CLINCAL DIAGNOSES
@@margaridabaldini This is what I think usually happens. People will say “they deserve support,” but as soon as they know they have a serious personality disorder they want them practically completely out of their life(I get it for romantic but even as friends or co-workers). Not just ASPD but also things like intermittent explosive disorder, severe alcoholism, depression(although people will put up with this one way easier since it’s not threatening them directly), etc. So for non-violent ASPD it makes more sense to just not say it and blend.
@@margaridabaldini I have been friends with a "sociopath" and it wasnt some noble endeavor, they were super pleasant to talk to about mutual hobbies. We didnt have any tense falling out either, just gradually stopped talking. Issues can arise as a result of their disorder (ASPD), but I wouldnt ever refuse to get close to someone just because they had it.
I relate to this guy so much. I don't think I'm a sociopath but due to my neurodivergency I've always struggled with empathy to the point that anyone else who saw inside my head would probably consider me a sociopath. Many of the points that he makes really resonated deep with me, especially the one about how everyone has manipulated someone at some point in their life. To many, the idea of manipulating others seems like an absolutely terrible thing that only a monster would do, but in reality they probably do it themselves without realizing it.
if i saw this video before my autism diagnosis i probably would have thought i had aspd, still ill look more into it just incase. being neurodivergent makes it hard to feel and understand emotions. all my examples of feeling guilt as a child were pointed out to me as dread of consequence rather than real guilt. it sucks to not have a definitive answer or proof to what im diagnosed with
@@lev5-5 this is so real honestly
i'm autistic, and i definitely relate a lot. i've honestly heard this from a bunch of other autistics as well, its rly interesting!
@uhhhi7573 a lack of empathy like this guy was talking about in the video is also common with autistics along with a lack of impuse control so I think that's where it comes from personally
I think that everybody thinks other people are and do the same as them. I used to think that everybody had the same empathy and counscience as me. But I was very very wrong. I think the same goes for you
He's not wrong about sociopaths not being inherently violent. A lot of anti scoial personality types get along very well in society. They get jobs in business, the sciences... government and other jobs where the lack of empathy come in handy. Ethical problems are a definite risk but some of them do very well.
Low-level management is rife with them, they're very useful to upper management with their capabilities not to "care" when laying off or otherwise handling staff.
This is very true.
Yeah but once you get to high level jobs they are terrible. You need people skills, empathy is a skill not a weakness
I admire his bravery. His answers were very honest, personal and raw. It didn’t look easy at all.
hes not honest, when she asked about crimes he gave multiple differnet answers.
stop being tricked so easily.
It was very easy
Laughing. Be careful with your trust. These people ARE out to hurt you. No one survives contact with a sociopath without getting burned.
He's a sociopath. They don't feel embarrassment, guilt, etc. It was probably easy
His self awareness is insane. I haven't even seen completely/mostly sane people with this level of awareness of their actions and how they impact others. Edit: Just to be clear, I did not mean to imply that anyone who is mentally ill is insane. Sane is defined as "(of a person) of sound mind; not mad or mentally ill." Hence, there was nothing incorrect with what I said linguistically. 'Insane' was used for exaggeration not to insinuate the aforementioned. Also while most of the remarks were valid, others were not and you should understand that not everyone will censor their speech in order to suit your needs. While I can recognize it was inappropriate to state that someone was a Karen, a few of you were clearly projecting your own issues which was not appropriate either. However, I do apologize if I was offensive, so we can perhaps end this petty argument.
Sociopathy doesn't make you insane.
@@anitaremenarova6662 that’s not what they’re saying…
@@hannahalyssa1473 They seem to be insinuating it.
@@anitaremenarova6662 no... it doesn't lol
@@hannahalyssa1473 thank you for being able to decipher between what was said and Anita's assertions are.
This was really well handled! I was worried going into this video that it would be “he’s a sociopath let’s assume he’s scary and ask him scary questions like he’s a monster,” but it was more conversational and he handled it extremely maturely. Big respect to you, Greg.
I love his rawness and candor. His wife and son definitely have shown him that there was more than what he ever knew. This is a beautiful episode. Thank you Jubilee
I’m proud of him for turning his life around. Sending love to him and his family
Shoutout to his family
I'm the 1,000th like 😁
@@nffall the 1000th like what?
@@Raherin Hahahaha. I know you had to be joking, but I got to trying to think what in the world someone could possibly mean by that question if they were actually serious in asking. Rofl
@@swagpilledcommisar LMAO
The word “manipulate” has a bad connotation but I think what he says is so true how we are often manipulating someone to some degree to get something out of a situation no matter how innocent. Sometimes we’re not even aware we’re doing it.
I've always felt this way. The way my mother put it to me is everything you do effects a situation even just being in the room. Best example though is going to an interview. You have to "convince" aka manipulate the employer into believing you are the best candidate.
Manipulation has a negative connotation, because it entails possible negative consequences. When you manipulate somebody it's only for your own benefit, even if it is negative for the other part.
@@nessalovesfitness where does the term "empath" come from? Any normal human being should have empathy, I honestly don't know why ppl label themselves that way
@@heassik3088 It just comes from the word empathy. I guess these types of people are more sensitive towards emotions but I honestly think to an unhealthy degree. I used to label myself as an empath until I realized it was just unresolved childhood trauma that makes me nitpicks everyone’s motives. But it has its benefits ig
Yeah it's.especially funny a woman trying to act like she couldn't understand living off manipulating others
Wow. We could all learn a bit from this guy about self-reflection, the power to change, and how being a parent can trigger major changes in us for the better. Excellent video. I have a lot of respect for Greg for his transformation.
I love this. Destigmatize, educate, this is brilliant. Thanks for sharing with us, Greg!
I find that media has distorted the image of what sociopathy is severely. When you look at famous movie villains, they are often radical sociopaths. A perfect example is the Joker. Not all sociopaths have 0 disregard for human life. Most sociopaths are very normal people that struggle with social skills and rational decision making. Greg seems like a lovely guy. I hope everything turns out great for him, his wife and his son.
Sociopaths are also very charismatic as they've had to artificially manufacture a conscience their whole lives. Easy to fool others. Luckily many have enough cultural pressure applied that they can sort of develop a conscience, but based on US culture... I wouldn't be too sure.
He seems like a weirdo to me. Very dodgy, and won't make eye contact. I wouldn't want to talk to him for very long.
@@HF-tj8db you're talking about psycopaths
@@Kick_Rocks he wasn’t dodging m eye contact, there was a curtain between the people. He was facing their direction to try to communicate effectively
Struggle with social skills and "rational" decision making sounds more like autism. Sociopaths generally have anti social personality disorder which can be very dangerous for people around them emotionally and or physically. This just to say he's not a monster but be very aware he doesn't look at things the same way the standard person would. Also not to be confused with a psychopath
My dad is a diagnosed sociopath. The whole irresponsible and impulsive is spot on. Most sociopaths aren't violent. My dad was occasionally.
Sociopaths are violent. Even when they aren’t being physically violent they are emotionally violent.
@@EllePlowPlow You have a great point. Violence can also be through words. Thank you for bringing awareness. That isn't something I thought of.
@@Sum1sMom no problem. I’m sorry about your dad.
when he said that i was a bit confused. like what are examples of being irresponsible/impulsive from a sociopath
@@jujo2401 not fulfilling financial and work obligations, often resulting in getting fired.
he seems so kind and he is geniunely trying his best everyday
It's nice to see something actually informative about this subject for once. I was diagnosed as having both autism and sociopathic tendencies when I was seventeen. I later put myself through everything mentioned by Greg here, except one thing. This led to me being really lost for a few years, and always unsure of whether making my diagnosis known would help or simply invite prejudice. I'm happy to say that I now have loving relationships with my family and three years clean. I hope that the attitude toward sociopathic tendencies will become more understood and met with help/treatment in the future.
I love the woman at 4:43. Everyone else looks petrified and she is just so casual and care-free as if she were talking to a friend. I love that even without him knowing, she was making him seem human. He isn't a serial killer, he's just a guy with a disease.
And at the very end of the video she gives him a hug
I think she's a staged therapist/psychiatrist
@@nervonabliss2071 How do you know?
@@nathanbedfordforrest9546 her appearance
@@nervonabliss2071 psychology students and teachers don’t always have a specific look. There is no way unless you can look that woman up that you know that she’s a therapist.
"I've learned how to not destroy my life by accident". What a powerful sentence. Honestly I feel like healing from any mental illness is like that. You never truly get rid of the disease. But you learn how to manage it enough to not constantly be in your own way. There is no "fixing" or "curing". Only revising, and learning how to cope with it.
Exactly!!!
What you believe becomes your reality! If you don‘t believe in a cure and getting completely healthy again, you won‘t! There are some mental illnesses you can definetely overcome!
Sociaopath is not a mental illness. It's a personality disorder, i.e. his character is somewhat extreme compared to an average person :) Since it's not an illness there is no cure, sociaopath can only adjust personality a little bit by learning how to behave in a more socially appropriate manner.
@@sxanepwell, saying there’s “no cure” is kind of inaccurate, it’s more like there’s no medication like for a mental illness, but there’s always therapy
Still wish certain sociopaths and psychopaths didn't lust for power like American boomer career politicians :/
I’ve learned a lot about this condition from this video. I like this guy, and appreciate his willingness to open up for this little exploration. Thank you.
Really enjoyed this video and really rooting for Greg here. Seems like its been a long journey and should be so proud of how far he's come
My younger son was diagnosed with AsPD. I see so many similarities between him and Greg. The risk taking, impulsive actions, and what appears to be limited expression of emotion. He's a very kind, warm, affectionate person, but he doesn't connect with others on deeper levels most times. As far back as I can remember, he has rarely exhibited fear or grief, even as a young child. He's now in college pursuing his masters in psychology, so he can be a therapist for veterans. I can honestly say, I did not expect this plot twist from him, and am pleasantly surprised by his choices.
What is your son's name
@@dishadhouliyan5190 his name is Ash
@@kittiewoodheath4140 You should of named him Pegasus Bartholomew Doflamingo.
@@ohmielevisope4237 I got to name the first kid, so it was his dad's turn to name him lol
@@dishadhouliyan5190 what does his name matter?
I'm a sociopath and this is the first time I've seen anything like this. It definitely resonated with me. Thanks to all involved.
You're welcome.
No problem James! Anytime!
you are capping
@@tirididjdjwieidiw1138 why is he “capping?” I’m a sociopath too, as a sociopath I don’t see the reason why anyone in particular would lie about that
@@ZeroBudgetDude You two are throwing around the term like it's your job title.
Thank you Greg. I hope your life is better now. You look a very smart guy! Thank you for your honesty! It seems that you have reflected a lot and struggle to bring out your best version of yourself and that makes you very great!
You are so well spoken. I feel like you explained some very complicated things in ways that are easy to understand. You’re so young and more insightful than most people I know that are almost double your age. Thank you for sharing your story
Oddly enough he seems to be a kind person. I love the fact he has a support system with his wife. He seems to really love his son. I love that for him.
You need to be really intelligent to be able to have cognitive empathy being a sociopath, since when you lack that feeling, it must feel like imagining a color that you cant see
Most of the times it's mimicking not understanding
@@b4sh936 i imagine that he analyses the situation and concludes what the other person must feel and acts accordingly. probably, he consciously has to make an effort to do the "empathetic thing" as if hes answering a question from a textbook and he has options about what he should do and its a constant quiz to choose the most thoughtful answer. or something like that... idk how to explain it well so im not sure.
he doesn't have those emotions
@@nicklaskristensen5484 well his wife commented here and said that its a spectrum. so while sociopaths care very little about the consequences of their actions, its not like they dont care at all. Greg says that the time he spent in prison was the worst time of his life and he doesnt want his son to experience that which means that he is genuinely capable of caring. but its a challenge to do so. and maybe its because he seems to have a firm sense of morality that hes able to improve and a somewhat normal life with a family. for all we know, that morality couldve been developed as a consequence of his past experiences. based on everything he said in the video, he is definitely more self aware now than he was in the past.
3:02 i agree with that part. We always get something from our relationships and that doesn't have to mean being selfish, it's just the nature of it.
Yeah ... In fact her response was rather the clichee version of life. Ultimately, every relationship is transactional in that given behaviour will reciprocate either the same or another specific behaviour. We certainly don't do things if we don't at least expect a reaction ( regardless of how tame and little ) out of it.
@@mysticmarble94 agreed!
@@mysticmarble94 It's called unconditional, if a loved one dies your love for them won't. If you see a loved one happy, it makes you happy, if you see them sad, it makes you sad. Not everything is transactional, if that was the case people wouldn't settle for scrubs who don't even give them love. You love who you love, how you go about it is different, but feelings aren't transactional
@@leilabenet7453 If you see your partner is sad, you will do something to cheer them up which in turn makes you happy so your brain showers you with dopamine and oxytocin and the unconscious transaction is complete.
@@mysticmarble94 I wouldn’t define that as manipulation though. The question was about manipulation. And sometimes we do things that don’t give dopamine, like when you hold your teenage daughter as she cries through her intense anxiety, because you know she needs that. It doesn’t offer any dopamine and it’s very uncomfortable and scary. Not all actions you do for your loved ones have a reward.
It is interesting to hear from this guy. He seems willing to answer the best he can and I appreciate that. There is a sweetness that was unexpected. Wishing Greg the best as he works through life.
This is so amazing! He is so brave and honest. We need people like him to educate us about conditions that are misunderstood. It makes me so happy to learn more so I can properly understand 🤩
"I don't want him to live the same life I've lived." That's empathy. Not that this guy hasn't worked hard to get where he is. Just that some people may think they don't have empathy but it's just a small seed they haven't yet nourished.
It is empathy, but it's very likely still cognitive empathy like Jubilee showed on screen. He's aware that his life sucked and(though it's likely a muted feeling, as is typical) doesn't want his son to be the same way. Of course, I can't fully speak for his experience haha.
I can relate to Greg in a lot of ways and I don't think this counts as empathy. I might say something like "I don't want my car to break down", but I don't have empathy for my car- it will just inconvenience me if my car breaks down. Likewise, I might say "I want what's best for you" to a friend because, in general, things that are best for a friend will also be best for me because we tend to have closely-aligned goals and I can't get what I want from a friend if they are overwhelmed by something else. In both cases, it's not empathy, it's a form of transactional benefit.
Don't be fooled, a sociopath/psychopath does not feel empathy by definition. Many parents consider their children as their own accesories..
No, it is not. You just do not know the difference between sympathy and empathy. As someone with npd, one reason so many people with aspd are so unapologetically abusive is because they do not think about / understand how their actions are impacting others. Not just because they hate everyone and want everyone to live miserable lives (some are like that, but I would not say the majority). Not having empathy is when you do not naturally understand the feelings others have, not when you want to hurt everyone.
Empathy and moral behavior are unrelated. I am EXTREMELY low empathy but I consider myself pro-social.
I think anti social personality disorder has been so misrepresented in media. The association with them being monsters is again, blown out of proportion. I’m so glad this conversation is being had, and showing that people with more stigmatized (and I hate that word usage, but you get my point) disorders are functioning people who can love and live.
Sociopaths can’t love or feel empathy that’s why they’re a sociopath.
Hopefully psychopathy will be highlighted soon as well. All psychopaths are not like Jeffrey Dahmer or John Wayne Gacy. Psychopaths end up becoming CEOs, lawyers, soldiers, etc bc psychopathic traits in a balanced amount lend well to those lines of work.
Sociopaths and psychopaths can’t properly love, so you’re wrong there.
@@isaacwojo3273 not all are like that
Sociopaths can love, as can psychopaths. But they are very selective about who they extend these deep emotions to. Generally speaking they feel nothing for 99% of the people they know, literally nothing, and their disorder goes hand in hand with narcissistic tendencies, delusions of grandeur, ego, inflated self worth. The common misconception is that these categories are unable to love. It's simply not true, and the inability to love is defined under an entirely different psychiatric condition. Often they love and feel emotions for their spouses, children, etc
I have huge respect for his openness and the interviewers asked genuine questions that i was curious to hear answered too.
I use cognitive empathy too. I'm having sessions where I try to feel emotions. I suspect my psychotherapist is finding it harder to keep me on track with it. Using analysis to understand something instead of trying to feel something in my body. I still firmly believe my type of empathy is superior. But there is something magical, primal, about regular empathy. I prefer mine I suppose because it's what I use. I'd want to ask: Have you ever let an interaction become autonomous? Is that something you would like? Personally I have, once. I want nothing more than to experience it again.
I dated a sociopath that was a lot like this guy. He had a dark past and did bad things, but honestly he lived by a code that he stuck to fiercely and expected or wanted other people to live by that same code because he thought that was how things needed to be. He didn't really have the emotions or empathy most people have, but I feel like he did have a lot of love and loyalty and honesty in his own way. In a way it was more than most people have. It's hard to explain.
I think I get u. Like it sounds more like instead of actually feeling and empathising, he referred to and followed a set of rules/social cues. It sounds a lot like masking in autistic people.
@@Bluetrekkie Its kinda like kid named finger in a way
Then the person you are referring to was probably was not a sociopath. Maybe they had Autism with ADHD or something else 😊
@@llucb6 waltuh
@@amalik3934 no he definitely was a sociopath. There was a lot more I didn't say in my comment and I won't get into specifics but yes he was a sociopath.
People dont realize that manipulation isn’t just strictly something psychopaths or sociopaths do. Everyone has manipulated someone else whether that is consciously or subconsciously, it’s human nature.
I agree, but many people extrapolates it to every single social interaction and labels it as manipulation, when it just isnt. treating your partners with respect or holding the door for someone isn't manipulation. Those are social transactions where everyone involved knows what's being implicitly agreed upon. Social pets like dogs and cats do the same. If i feed my dog, he's happy - he knows i feed him because i care for him and i know the "only" thing i'll get in return is his company.
@@1lukariozManipulation is just a generalised interaction but with intent to get something from the target as a result. Holding a door open for someone isn't manipulation, unless your goal is to flatter or show subservience to the person while thinking you will be paid back in some other way down the line. Respecting your partner isn't manipulation, unless you are convinced that respect is transactional and you will recieve intimacy, gifts, money, ect. for partaking, and also that you can remove your respect at any time when you no longer desire those things. So in fact you are both correct: Social transactions are instances where everyone _thinks_ they know what is being agreed upon because it's common sense, but in actuality there are some people (not all of whom are sociopaths) who extrapolate and assume far more out of these subconcious agreements than others would.
I think the difference is that sociopaths just blast past boundaries of the other person, not from malicious intent but as an impulse. They need to learn to control it like any other impulses.
Eu também quero muito fazer esse exame pra saber.
Acting certain way to gain influence on someone or being able to convince somebody with reason and logic is not manipulation... Manipulation is always based on dishonesty, half-truths or lies.
Hi Greg. I don’t know you, but I love you, and I am SO proud of you and your wife. You are the way forward for people like me who have no idea what it’s like being you. Thank you for being brave enough to help us. 🤗 Much love and respect from Louise from Australia. 🥰
Thumbs up to Greg for being so brave and doing this interview. Also mad respect for trying to better himself and turn his life around 😄
I dated a sociopath. It was a nightmare, but not necessarily because of any physical violence. The emotional labor was insane. I was this dude's conscience. He wasn't really able to understand how his actions affected other people unless he had lived through it. He couldn't empathize with a person who had broken their arm unless he had also broken the same arm. I think the idea that sociopaths don't experience emotions is insane, if they didn't my experience with my ex would have been VERY different. He showed absolutely zero remorse for sexually assaulting me, and didn't see how it was a big deal. But he had emotions, like Greg said, the depth is different. Especially compared to my bipolar.
Yes they experience emotions, they just suppress, and dissociate from emotions they can't cope with because of trauma.
That´s a horribly dangerous combination when you´re being bipolar. I really hope you got help and can work through everything. All the best to you!
I also dated a diagnosed sociopath, he seemed to be completely unaware of the pain of other people and animals that he hurt, he used to talk about that with the most normal expression like it was trivial and sometimes laugh, but I've seen him giving money/food to homeless kids, I asked why, to which he responded that it was because he didn't have much food as a kid, like??? It doesn't make any sense to me
@@patodonald7174 Empathy isn't required for things they've experienced. My ex does also have ptsd after setting himself on fire (long story) but he can't apply his ptsd experience to the ptsd he caused me because its different.
@@blueturtle3623 he sounds a bit mental
When he said the thing between emotions and memory my mind exploded. As a psych major, I never really realized that connection. So glad we was able to open up and speak so freely.
same!! I was like "WOAH... I never ever thought about that" damn its so normal to us that we don't even know why we remember some things from our childhood. we just know. what he said is deep
It immediately made sense to me and was a revelation. My memory of childhood and my past barely exists compared to other people and I also don't feel emotions to the extent most people do.
@@jessicap.8114 Same.
same. i've never been able to recall as many memories as other people (nothing to do with my actual memory), but i realised that it's because i don't feel much emotion on a daily basis, so days blur into one and every day seem like any other day to me.
No offense to you personally, but this just shows how current psychology misses one essential and existential aspect about the human nature. The connection between the body and emotions, and memory. And how these things are interconnected. Also trauma connected to those three aspects.
You’re such a brave Soul. I applaud your honesty and I feel for you in your struggles. I don’t know you but I love you. 🤗
I like how Greg knows what he needs. When he said "I don't like being told what to do. I require gentle guidance." It amazes me how truthful he is and he's really trying to be in touch with his emotions and needs.
Yes, that really stood out for me too. I wish more people were this emotionally intelligent in that way.
@@OptimosTrollAre you serious???
I was diagnosed with ASPD a few years ago and so much of my life made sense in light of that. A big misconception is that sociopath's are actively trying to hurt others. I don't want to hurt anyone and don't revel in other's being inadvertently hurt by my actions.
Fishing for attention, are ya? Go put on your wolf t-shirt and fingerless gloves, dweeb.
Glad to hear the diagnosis actually helped you! It tends to overdiagnosed, usually to people who've endured extreme trauma. This doesn't help them or the people who actually have ASPD.
What do you feel, then? I'm genuinely curious.
Well stop hurting people through your actions then.
@@Kick_Rocks do u not understand the definition of a mental disorder? 😕
So informative. Thank you for sharing.
My first video from Jubilee and I am already a fan. The premise, format and delivery of this concept rock. Thanks.
We need “I’m an introvert… ask me NOTHING”
Are you sure you’re not confusing introversion with schizoid personality disorder? Because hating people is NOT a trait of introversion.
@@MM-pv5tp I think they mean the introvert doesn't hate people they just don't like talking to people they don't know
@@Boo-wp1xw Do you really think introversion means “don’t like talking to strangers?” Read Carl Jung’s The Red Book before saying that.
@@MM-pv5tp I don't have to because I was one before bro I lived it bro 16 years
@@Boo-wp1xw Well you’re sadly another person who misuses the term “introversion.” Carl Jung will be very disappointed in you in the afterlife.
"There's a huge genetic component to sociopathy, and the other half of that is the environment. So I have to do everything I can with his environment to overcome his genetics." I completely get what he means and why he wouldn't want his son to inherit sociopathy... but that's quite heart breaking to hear: 'I have to... overcome his genetics'
That part , our dna is super important and I hate that people act like it isn’t
So, this is not completely true. For some people it can be either or but not both. Some are actually born that way, with no environmental influence. Some it's the environment and for others the combination increases the severity.
@@maytheforcebewithyou2701 while its true some people inherently are born some way, environment can come into play lessening or aggravating their condition. As long as they're a chance for change during the nurture phase its worth trying I guess.
@@frostkilling That's what I said. You can be born with. The environment can solely create it. Or, both. So, born with it + environment = worse outcome.
that doesn't need to be sad at all, he's just saying essentially he knows that nature vs nurture is a thing and since he has a problem, he's going to use his knowledge of the problem to make his kid have a better life
One of my favorate things a psychatist ever mentioned was this "The biggest mistake culture seems to make is that they are under the illusion that being a narcissist or a sociopath is a choice. It is not, nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks (I will be a narcissist today), it is a personality disorder developed over a long period of time with both nature and nuture elements, you would not want to be one second in their shoes"
this shows how important getting help, a diagnosis, and having a support system is bc he genuinely sounds like a better person now than many non-sociopaths I know
I’ve met a couple sociopaths before, and I think a lot of people forget that they aren’t all bad people, they may have issues with empathy, but they still tried to get better and tried to be kind. Sociopaths aren’t all just evil, they are people trying to live life.
Very true, also not all bad people are sociopaths. That kind of lingo get's thrown around a lot, especially in the true crime community.
Well he said he drives recklessly, to me that is quite evil
@@gaia7240 and he isn’t every sociopath in the world
@@gaia7240 so every teenager is evil because they have driven wrecklessly at some point? Every person who has driven overly tired is evil? Everyone who has driven while needing to pee is evil (proven to be more distracting than driving while drunk at legal limit)? Plus, he states that he no longer drives wrecklessly. So he has changed his ways. All human beings have capacity for "evil" deeds. But assuming someone is entirely evil because at one point in their past they did something evil, dispite them making conscious efforts to change, is obtuse.
@@dawnmidnightsun2521 exactly
Is so amazing how people can become better people no matter who they are. It takes a lot of strength to make changes in our life.
He’s lying
I would say they can if they want to be. I don't think he lying but he could have me fooled. He did seem to have some empathy to me at least. I don't think we should label people as anything we should say they have sociopathic tendencies. I think that once you make something part of someone's identity it's hard for them not to be that. It does seem like he's worked on it though to me.
Is a sociopath he's just acting he's learned how to act like he cares he could slit your throat and then eat your Cheerios without ever batting an eye lol
@@mr.e7541 It's useful to label psychologic or emotional desorders in order to make your way to feel better and to behave better, by going through therapy or meds or something.
@@vervideosgiros1156 as I said you can say that it's something that you do, something that you're doing. Like you tend to have sociopathic tendencies. It's a messed up way of thinking not an identity
He's was an addict, not a sociopath. The doctor messed up, or just didn't even think to ask if he was addicted to anything. My brother was the same exact way. But he loved his daughter.
the fact that our society is able to make these kind of conversations exist is one of the reason that I'm glad I live in this era. I don't always feel that way
I'm also a diagnosed sociopath, and it's really nice that I found this on my feed because it helps me understand more about my own diagnosis and it helps me feel less alone. It's really nice to know that I can prove that you can still be a decent person and a sociopath!! Thank you Greg for being a part of this and sharing your side of the story.
I’m genuinely curious to know if a sociopath is able to love like other people ? I don’t wanna sound judgmental, it’s just that there’s a lot of comments saying that yes, and others no, so I’m confused.
@@isabelesilva991 that is like asking someone if they see the color pink the same way others do.
@@isabelesilva991 they are.
What diagnosis did u get
Stay safe and out of jail. Obey the law which I'm sure you do. Just don't want to see someone with a disability like this to end up unfairly in jail
Honestly, folks who are sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists have a very hyperactive brain and need to keep themselves preoccupied otherwise they get severely bored and turn to self-destructive behavior. Most folks who were diagnosed with these disorders whom I've spoken to, are extremely intelligent both mentally and emotionally. I wish we had enough talent in schools to individually evaluate students and really hone in on their strengths rather than lumping them into this gray mass of standardization.
I don't think that's the case tho most of the time their mind is in a very relaxed state. They even have a much slower resting heart beat level than the general population
@@rathan3288 interesting, I've never heard of that. It would be even more impressive to have to keep up appearance of normalcy while being in zen-like state 😯
@@rathan3288 Yes!
@@fatcatontario I've never met a "psychopath" who was "extremely intelligent", even though I've encountered a decent amount in my life. And never interacted with a sociopath I don't think. In my opinion, these "psychopaths" are the reason why I hate society and capitalism, they're not intelligent whatsoever according to their selfishness and lack of compassion.
@@rathan3288 Maybe the issue of needing stimulation is correlated with the mind being in a relaxed state. Normal things are not as exciting as for 'neurotypical', therefore the mind is more relaxed. Meaning they seek out exciting activities to stimulate
Well, lots of emotions flowing here. I could connect myself and feel the emotions flowing through Greg, me and people talking to him, so despite diagnostics and appearances or to much effort to be rational and logic, there's a huge emotional flow what makes him (of course) so human, in opposition to what diagnostics typically says. In additional, it's impressive to me how a diagnostic can release people from guilt, normally they express as freedom, but the simple fact of having been diagnosed gives a relief "it's not my fault".
There's a lot that I relate with here. I'm not diagnosed with AsPD, but it is something I'd like to talk to a psychiatrist about since I relate to a lot of the symptoms, and I do feel as if something may be wrong and it is something that sorta worries me. I share a lot of the same viewpoints as he does; everyone does manipulate other people to some extent, whether we mean to or not. And I also view relationships and interactions through a more calculative cognitive empathy-like lens. A lot of the video resonates with me. As a child, I've always felt disconnected, never really understood grief either. Impulsive and risk-taking behavior is also something that's familiar with me. I have a couple of memories that specifically stand out to me, from my dad being electrocuted/zapped and me not noticing, being more concerned with the dead snake I was holding then the skin of my dad's hand melting to me and Grammy being there in the hospital when my great grandpa died and me not understanding why she was crying, and me just feeling disconnected from it all. There have been times where I was almost hit by a car as well, and I hardly even noticed, nor did I care or find it a big deal when I did notice. It's almost always been due to other people pointing it out that I ever realized that some of these reactions indicated that something may be going on that isn't too clear to me. Love the video, it's nice to hear another person's story and personal views about these kinds of things.
So glad this video exists. I'm a psych major and all my psych classes, when going into mental illness, start off by saying there's a lot of negative stereotypes associated with mental illness and we need to combat that. But the moment anti social personality disorders are mentioned, then they're talking about serial killers and violent criminals. It's hard to find people talking about ASPD or articles about it without it basically saying they're inherently evil people who must be always be avoided.
As a psychopath, I say amen. We're starting to see the term "prosocial" which is something, but I'd love to see some more studies done outside of prisons. I score really high on the core traits of the Hare checklist, but low on the criminality traits. And I know I'm not the only one.
Education is lacking in general. In this regard, it's extremely lacking.
u dont have to answer this but my brother is a diagnosed narcissistic mass manipulator nd the ppl he saw highly thought sociopath but he was underage nd stuff. he would be violent nd is in prison now. idk if this is even an answerable question but do you know if he meant to do the things he did? he always says he js didnt think about it at the time but is that actually possible?
Hey@@spooky_abbi (I got my psych degree years ago, so hope this helps with a perspective), it's impossible to actually say for certain if he 'meant' those things. It's highly likely that he was truthful when he said he didn't think about it at the time, since low-impulse control is prevalent with these pathologies and they tend to 'live in the present' so to speak, it means that they simply react and make decisions in a given situation without thinking ahead on what the consequences might be down the line.
@@AllePotky Undergrad Psych degree doesn't mean anything
Watching this, it makes me even angrier than I already was about how (at least while I was there) in graduate school for counseling psychology, they tell students that sociopaths can’t be helped, and can’t get better…they can, and they do, when they want to.
I have ASPD and i've been receiving therapy since I was 11, I now am just a normal person with some odd empathy problems, but healthy. We can be helped. The psychology world is filled with dinosaurs unwilling to change their views on mental health. Be the change you want to see in the field.
Oof that's definitely not what I was taught, even in AP Psychology classes. They taught that ASPD can be managed with CBT. Where did you go to graduate school?
I have a psych degree and wasn't taught that either. We learned these conditions can't be "cured"; they have to be managed. Certain anti-social tendencies can be harmful but most aren't dangerous because there's no pragmatic reason for them to be. And then he named the career fields sociopaths tend to gravitate to where they can lean into some of those tendencies without causing harm.
People tend to think of management of behaviour as ‘cured’. But it’s not ‘cured’ once the management falls apart (or a stable spouse leaves). Like with autism, you can train people in certain ways about interaction or how to deal with anxiety and how to manage stress but you don’t cure the autism. The people feel better because they experience a lot less problems but it doesn’t make them any less autistic.
This has honestly resonated with me so much I'm not a diagnosed sociopath but alot of people in my life have told me that's what I was & I'm really starting to understand now I've seen the perspective of someone else dealing with this.
Eye-opener. Thk u! Inspiring. This method makes it more assimilative.
I dated someone with ASPD but she wasn't nearly as self aware as this guy and wasn't trying to work on herself. This relationship massively damaged my self confidence and messed me up big time. We broke up few years ago (she cheated on me multiple times) and I wasn't able to get close to anybody since then.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I wish you the best of luck on your healing journey and I hope your ex gains self awareness and seeks help.
@@Galeriarch😂😂😂😂😂
Im so sorry you went through that, hope you find someone you deserve 💗
I am currently in one although he's not diagnosed coz he'll never agree to be diagnosed. But I know deep inside he is. Like when I cut a deep wound on my finger and blood was gushing hard he just stared at it and looked away even murmured blaming me. When we have fights his mouth will froth when already angry. And yes, my confidence also plunged. But what will I do I believe love will stick no matter what, and like Greg's wife, it will help heal them even at my expense.
@@gerlan201 but that’s not okay, nothing should be at your expense. He/she will bring you down with them, eventually, unless you get out. My dad is similar, not diagnosed because a refuses to get help, but me and my mom (they’re now divorced) are aware that there’s something wrong with him. I’ll keep a relationship with him unless he becomes a burden.
He’s so real for saying we all manipulate people because that’s true. We all manipulate to an extent in every kind of relationship you have with anyone. Family, friends, romantic partners, etc.
I really love that the second person hugged him. I’m sure it felt very humanizing for him
I don’t know, I had the impression it was too much for him, esp. with his condition.
@@lh2435he's a sociopath not a misanthrope.
Wow. Greg is an inspiration. Thank you!
so glad people have started destigmatizing this disorder. i’ve been hoping for this ever since the shane dawson series spread mass misinformation on this topic. it was truly disgusting to see him dehumanize people with aspd like that
what happened?
Catra W pfp 🥰
people have been stigmatizing it way before shane dawson
ASPD isn't quite the same as being a psychopath or sociopath. There is some overlap, and I suspect this guy may qualify for both. But ASPD is based on behaviour where the other two have more to do with lack of empathy.
@@AmoebaInk The main difference, as I understand it, is that ASPD is a clinical diagnosis while sociopath is not. What you are saying is not the way it is, as I understand it.
The idea of empathy is blown out of proporation for a lot of people, a lot of neurodiverse people feel emotions and empathy differently. My autistic partner is very factual and logical while i'm very emotional, they experience empathy in a much different way, and thats so valid.
This! People often also lump empathy in with compassion / caring when they are two separate things
Yep. I like to see others happy even when I have trouble feeling how they're feeling. I just know that they're happy.
@@telayajackson2.023 exactly! Human experience is so varied and expansive, its illogical to assume everyone feels joy the same, or grief the same, so why is empathy somehow different? Neuropathways are infinitely crossed and wired
Ok…
As someone who has 0 empathy, true, if u have to have empathy for a person to not hurt them thats just scary and confusing to me
Thanks Greg. That was very insightful and personal!
4:03 that's actually rational empathy, just as important as emotional empathy-which is our classic definition of empathy. It's genuinely unnerving to see people call those that lack emotional empathy monsters, when it was never a choice because that lack is due to genes or trauma. Also concerned by how he described himself as childlike, when you can be so much more than that without emotional empathy. It's a very useful tool, but i think it's even more admirable if your rational empathy and logic in general are so solid you can function normally without it. The response of the girl with bangs about manipulation seemed to me unaware of how transactional relationships can be, regardless of how conscious you are of it. Props to her though for keeping an open mind and staying genuinely interested. Us as outsiders fail psycho-sociopaths by isolating and alienating them this much, they deserve better, as people that never chose to have less emotional empathy.
2:59 I actually agree with him and disagree with her. We ALL manipulate people in very small ways - such as "code switching" (Google it if you've never heard of it - we all do it to some extent!) is a form of manipulation, telling a white lie to someone so they don't have a bad opinion of you is a form of manipulation, etc. Sometimes you have to do those things in order to have pleasant interactions with strangers and acquaintances that you can't be yourself around. That's very normal. It's not bad or malicious, it's just a normal part of social interaction.
I'm not sure I 100% agree that code switching is manipulation. I think being able to understand and adapt to different cultures is just a form of social intelligence, same as not using medical terminology with a kindergartner or not arguing sports at a funeral. I might act very differently at a martial arts class than I would at work, but that's not because I'm trying to manipulate people into thinking of or acting towards me in a certain way; it's because different behavior is normal and appropriate in different contexts.
Code switching isnt manipulation
@@sucrose6047 If the purpose of code switching is to get people to like you, then I'd say that's manipulation. Manipulation isn't always harmful or malicious.
Code switching is adaptation, NOT manipulation.
I agree with you, although manipulation has a negative connotation most of the time. But then again, influencing, gaining trust, controlling, wanting someone to see your perspective, making gentle suggestions or guiding someone could be seen as forms of manipulation. At the end of the day, language is limited and can't adequately color the entire human experience. I think his response was very logical and made sense.
“I think I changed my ways” he seemed proud of himself I love that for him 💖
He is fooling you.
@@Brxwn9stop feeding in to the stereotypes
How do you know everyone isnt fooling you? must be hard to live under a rock. @@Brxwn9
@@poison-LICKTHEPOISON I mean, since they do not feel empathy, respect, or guilt and are anti-social (since that is what sociopathy is all about), why would they be trying to be kind and improve themselfs if they do not feel the need to fit in, nor can they be affected by how their actions affect others? Probably to avoid being rejected by society and the difficulties that this brings, also to not lose the advantages and benefits that maintaining social relationships provides
@@cielopacheco4315 it's not that they don't feel empathy but instead lack emotions, BUT they can still feel empathy
wow! this was so informational and taught me a lot. great video!
Speaking as a therapeutic counsellor, great video and insightful. Thanks for creating and posting.
As someone in school to become a therapist (start having clients in January!), this is so helpful to me. ASPD is relatively rare in a clinical setting so to hear someone speak on their experience really helps me to better understand their mindset. Thank you so much for this video jubilee! Let’s continue to normalize mental health and treating it just like any physical disorder.
What did you study in school? I am very curious since my therapist is young and doesn't know much about events associated with mental illness and domestic terrorism in the US.
It's not rare. A lot of people have this but are undiagnosed. Most of the criminals in society have this disorder.
@@aus-li I took some psychology classes in a public university and we discussed this a little bit. It wasn't really in so much detail, though.
@@Kick_Rocks sorry I should have clarified. I meant it is rare to see in a therapy setting. Most clients will present with more common disorders such as different types of depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, etc. There are also several types and levels of ASPD with some being more mild and common and others being more intense and less common. Similar to how dissociative disorders can range from someone who has PTSD and is avoiding trauma by escaping their current setting in their mind for a few minutes to someone that has DID and it causes them to switch between alternate identities. Hope this helps clear it up a bit! I edited my original comment for clarity.
@@jesswinter It's cool. No worries. Thanks for clarifying.
Sociopathy is something very scary to me but I know what it's like to be constantly judged by your diagnosis. I have Borderline Personality disorder (in a way, the opposite of sociopathy in that people with BPD experience these emotions at extreme heights rather than lacking them like sociopaths do) and for some reason media has often tied BPD to villainy despite that being so cruel. Ever since getting my own diagnosis I've become much more sympathetic to people who have other "scary" diagnoses.
What are your symptoms of BPD? I'm very curious and would love to learn more.
@@aus-li The symptoms that always struck me as most significant and notable are a persistent feeling of emptiness, little to no sense of personal identity, and an intense fear of abandonment. People with BPD are very emotional because they pretty much only experience emotions at their heights and feel nothing but emptiness when one of those emotions isn't present ("content" is not an emotional state that exists for us, it's always the highest highs and lowest lows and feeling empty in the time between those). Because their own sense of identity is so fragile or even non-existent they tend to change themselves, their appearance, how they are, frequently. Usually before getting diagnosed someone with BPD has had a lot of catastrophic relationships (of all kinds) because we have such a strong fear of abandonment and fragile sense of self that if we get attached to someone we're likely to act very intensely, always afraid to lose people, to the point where it ends up putting people off and they leave us, sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy there. The fear of abandonment leading to abandonment over and over because that fear and lack of personal identity make us so desperate to keep people around that our only modes are not caring about someone or caring so much that it chases them away. This might sound very specific but it's a clear pattern for someone with BPD.
@@jijitters Thank you for typing that all out, I really appreciate it! I strongly believe a lot of mental illnesses are aligned and have too many symptoms in common, which is why most people who are nuerodiveegent are forever lost in limbo with their own self-diagnoses and diagnosis from so-called professionals who all have differing opinions. I deal with depression, anxiety, and believe I have a decent amount of autism traits, such as intense OCD, sensitivity to noise, and desensitization. When I deal with my major depressive episodes, or even suicdial thoughts, all these criterias you mentioned come to light. Obviously what you feel seems to be on a daily basis, but I've had symptoms that depict the same existential dread and confusion. So, I really don't know, lol, and I don't think anyone will truly know the extent of our own human development, because things can go every which way, and I feel like nothing ever truly makes sense, since the human mind is so frantic throughout each day.
@@jijitters I got chills from reading your comment. I identified as a teen with BPD and indeed my relationships were very catastrophic just like you described them (only feedback I ever got was someone (non-psychiatrist) shrugging it off as "normal teen stuff" so I always wondered.... but I later learned more about narcissism in general and identified with what's called vulnerable narcissism and learned more about that side/angle of it). You described it very well.
@@aus-li I struggled with all of the same things in the general sense (not diagnosed with most of it, but strongly identify/identified with things like perfectionism and struggled with suicidal ideation) up until age 25 or so, now I only struggle with mild autism/social awkwardness, sensitivity to noise and anxiety mostly around people I don't know or connect easily with (age 30).
As someone who's got the same neurotype but not the diagnosis (the diagnosis requires a pattern of criminality) things like these interviews are very important to people understanding sociopathy. It's also worth noting how hard it is to get help when you have this going on. I told a therapist what was going on with me straightforwardly once and that therapist ghosted me- I never spoke to him again.
I think it needs a deeper examination. IF ALL the criminality is related to drug abuse, I think this is more Addictive personality, than Sociopathy.
Thank you for sharing! This took a lot of guts to do. Also, thank you for the phrase "cognitive empathy". I think this will be useful when my emotional disregulation clouds my reasoning in situations that require more logic and a calm frame of mind. Again, thanks!
when literal prison is “one of” the worst experiences you’ve had, that shows a little bit about the struggles you’ve dealt with. i really respect him and his openness and humility
I'm autistic, and I have to say, I really relate to his experiences with feeling empathy - just not always. Sometimes, I have to put genuine effort into feeling "empathy" for people. I have to manually put myself in their shoes and deduce how they're feeling with logic and rationality. Other times, I can't stop myself from feeling empathetic, and it's too much. My friend might be sad, for example, and it'll cause me to sob so much, and feel so utterly terrible for them that I can't even do anything to help. I always have to make myself feel it when a person just needs understanding and comradery, and I always feel over-empathetic when the person needs stoic, outside advice. It's like a curse. I hate it.
It is very impressive, that you are aware of all of this. Dont beat yourself up, doing the hard work of trying to put yourself in Their shoes, takes decipline and you should be proud of yourself, that you are working on it😊
hi, im autistic and me too, this resonated with me very much
Ohhhhhh yeah
Hey, thanks for sharing. A lot of Autistic persons may say the same. It’s not that you don’t have empathy, it just looks different for you. And I am so happy you have friends and cry with them. That’s amazing. Sometimes that’s what they NEED.
@@annikajacobsen5205 why is it impressive, scares me how low standards are for self awareness. Yes I’m aware that sounds rude, genuinely scares me. Definitely seems like there different levels of consciousness.
What he said is absolutely true and honest: everyone wants something from a relationship and everyone manipulates others to some extent, at some point in any relationship. Maybe some people aren’t self aware enough to recognize this, but it’s true.
It's videos like this that helped me yo understand that I had problems, that I was not okay and seek help from professional. That and also my girlfriend that told me I was not ok. This is very educational and I'm glad it's out there. I've been in therapy for the last months
“I’ve learned how not to destroy my life by accident” means so much to me with cyclothymia (fast cycling bipolar). I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum, too strong of emotions that make me disregard moral standards. I believe myself to be a very kind person, but when I have an episode, it’s so different. Therapy can’t make it go away, but it definitely helps me “not destroy my life by accident”
2:58 when they said that they’re didn’t think of relationships as a getting something of someone else or relationships as transactional (which is fair because a lot people don’t see relationships like that) but them proceeded to say the wanted to give respect and receive respect back… that’s literally transactional dude
It's wild, maybe projection? Some of the people I've been in relationships and friendships with who insisted on unconditional love and pointed out my low displays of empathy were very demanding. In a weird way, it almost felt that they were overlooking any potential of transactional expectations on their parts due to an ignorance of boundaries. Like they can't see where the trade line lies if they feel entitled/see others as objects for their own fulfillment.
I think what they were saying was stemming from the idea that we are sold that love should be unconditional. Not only is that unrealistic, its unhealthy. It contributes to the idea that if you love someone you should forgive them if they hurt you- even if they dont necessarily admit they did or apologize and correct the hurtful behavior. Its part of the stigma used to keep people in toxic and abusive relationships. Framing it as transactional is just boiling it down to the most honest, unnuanced, and non-fluffed up version that relationships should be beneficial to all parties and that we should have boundaries and expectations for those relationships. Most people are just too unfamiliar- and therefore, uncomfortable- with the blunt honesty. Its not healthy and should not be standard for ANYONE to not have expectations of things they want out of a relationship. Like you said, mutual respect itself is a transactional thing. Its like a symbiotic relationship.
@@joannabrooks8599 "Framing it as transactional is just boiling it down to the most honest, *nuanced*, and non-fluffed up version [...]". I get your point, but do you even know what "nuanced" means? Because saying that relationships are "transactional" and nothing more is all but nuanced :v
Wanting respect is normal? At least assuming it’s wanting the bare minimum of being kind. Like opening the door for someone expecting a thank you.
@@joannabrooks8599 I do believe true love is unconditional. That's not to say that there aren't all sorts of beneficial relationships built on a more transactional basis, or that people should stay in toxic and abusive relationships and can't have boundaries. I heard once that boundaries are the distance at which you can love you and the other person at the same time and I think it's true. You can love someone unconditionally while still keeping a safe distance from them. Love simply means wanting the best for the other person, born from the recognition that we're all deeply interconnected and there is a little part of them in you, and vice versa. However, that also means that if we hurt ourselves in order to help someone else, we're actually hurting that person, too! So the great thing about loving unconditionally is that we can apply that to ourselves as well. We can grant ourselves grace and forgiveness for our weaknesses and more easily let go of resentment and anger (which is mostly beneficial for the person harmed, it's not really for the person who harmed us who will have to reconcile with themselves for harming others). When it comes to acts of care or personal favors, which can be expressions of love but are not love in and of themselves, of course loving unconditionally does not mean you're obligated to give endlessly without receiving. It just means that, when your cup is full, you share that without any expectation of a return, trusting that the acceptance of your love is its own payment, because it grows the pool of love for all beings. The reality is that, in most cases, if the love is given unconditionally, it has a transformational effect on the other person and it will come back to you in some form. However, you do have to be careful not to drain yourself by doing too much for others without also receiving care and support. I just don't think that means we *need* relationships to be transactional, or that love is inherently transactional. You can give to one person, and receive from a different person, or even an entire community.
Wow this is really enlightening. His honesty is compelling
"my response is usually some like logical like solution to the problem when a lot of the times, that's not what people need. They need you to listen and just be there for them"... my sociopath friend, most people does the same.
he seems like such a sweet person whos just been dealt a ton of shitty cards in life, i'm genuinely so proud of him for being able to turn his life around
"Seems" being the operative word....
@@mydogeatspuke looks like someone missed the point of the video
@@yummowickersham7746 yes, OP did. Not sure why you're telling me though since I obviously already know.
Me 2
he seems so sweet!! He looks like he's trying so hard to get through everything
It's amazing and somehow nice the fact that he says he didn't regret things when he did those things but he did regret having harmed people afterwards and he does not like having harmed others. I think this kinda tell us that they are capable to feel empathy but they need to think about what they did, or someone to explain them. I find this so interesting.
Being a Sociopath is annoying, I have diagnoses of it with Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depression), and Childhood Complex PTSD. When it comes to being a Sociopath I have to constantly keep telling myself everyday to not do specific things because of consequences that I don't actually care about. I have no drive to do anything productive towards my career or long-term future unless I get immediate benefits. Money and capital are very trivial to me. I don't like being told what to do. Scheduling/attending any appointment/meeting is extremely difficult, because I can't find the desire to care (this causes a lot of issues with attending therapy, meeting friends, and/or going to work). So I typically spend a lot of time alone/by myself, because approaching people is awkward and I find it hard to even care. I can meet with people and just not talk for the entire time. I actually think of most people's feelings and relationships with me as burdens, so I subconsciously avoid getting close to people and will even walk out on social situations. I also can't really take on any real roles in group activities without being incredibly toxic or being non-responsive/uncommunicative. Finally being Extroverted with an Anti-Social Disorder like this causes me a lot of problems, which often leads to severe depression and suicidal idealizations.
Omg:( so what does a day in ur life look like?
I wonder do you wish you could have meaningful relationships with people?
Spot on.
Damn... I'm kinda like this. I have bi polar and c-ptsd too, but never been diagnosed with sociopathy. I guess have higher level of empathy, but now idk if it's cognitive empathy or real empathy
Never thought about it. I got tested for IQ levels and other test about my mental state and childhood etc. And basically it said I had antisocial behaviors but I wasn't antisocial, while reading ur comment I felt so seen because I have felt the same way most of my life and I never knew the reason, I don't know about the aspd at all, I think I should go and get another test about this. Tbh it is very hard doing the daily life socially as you said, I know what I have to do, but sometimes I can't find the way to CARE. I do have friends, I love them with my whole heart, I even had a best friend and dated people in the past but it can get hard because I don't wanna deal with their feelings, I have never said that to them, cause' ik it's not what a friend it's supposed to do, but I can be very hard for me to support people emotionally when I see them as burdens that I don't wanna handle. Wish you the best ❤️
5:29 i cant relate to that more. I told my parents about my ASPD diagnosis and they straight up denied it, so i just dont bother bringing it up anymore
this dude seems like a solid dude, just has some issues. his desire to be a great dad is aspirational.
Very fine line between "manipulate" and "influence" or "encourage/discourage".
Awesome episode Thank you all for sharing your thoughts with us
He has more insight about his parenting than most parents I've met. I wish more parents would be so considerate about social heritage.