i don’t trust male feminists - and you shouldn’t either
2023 ж. 7 Жел.
93 844 Рет қаралды
Get the SGSG hoodie: shopisla.co
Subscribe to the Weekly ManifesTEA Newsletter: manifestelle.substack.com
Follow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelle
In this episode, Elle explores the topic of men identifying as feminists. She discusses the importance of cultivating women-only spaces and why men's participation in such spaces can be a red flag. Elle also delves into the complex dynamics of feminism, traditionalism, and the unique challenges faced by women who don't neatly fit into either category. The episode ends with a powerful discussion about male behavior in online spaces, the damaging effects of covert manipulation, and the importance of women setting their own standards in the dating market.
"Conservative men think women are private property and liberal men think women are public property" OH MY GOD???? I....I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT. GIMME A SECOND TO PROCESS THAT😦
Andrew Dworkin
All women should read radical feminist theory. Andrea Dworkin's work is still relevant to this day
(Andrea Dworkin was the one who said that)
Simone de Beauvoir 🤌🏼 💕
Wow
don't forget megan thee stallion's ex who tattoo'd "FEMINIST" in big bold letters on his torso cheated on her and then posted memes about his infidelity 😭😭😭 like the jokes write themselves ladies
WHAT???? that's so shameless, oh my god... who even was that?
Most men: “Ah, these women NEED my unsolicited opinion and I’m being OPPRESSED if I’m not allowed in this space”
This reminds me of how angry my ex got about not being invited to my GIRLS trip. He stonewalled me for days and when I told him he hurt my feelings after purposefully forgetting the discussion of why he shouldn’t attend the GIRLS TRIP, he told me my feelings weren’t valid. 🙃But when he hung out with his boys (who are cheaters) and he ignored me for the whole entire day, it was fine. 😅
@@jujubee2903not a keeper ☠️☠️☠️
Absolutely. We need woman only echo chambers.
@@georgev8590 absolutely! women and children NEED to live without their oppressors. especially teenagers and mothers!
This whole situation, for "both sides", is cringe
The WORST man I ever dated was a self-proclaimed “feminist.” He was very performative too. He was reading all the right books, posted about mental health, the importance of therapy, and women’s rights all the time! Turned out he was an emotionally abusive narcissist. And before you say, “everyone can’t be a narcissist” just know that he was diagnosed by an actual psychiatrist. He was very attractive so he was a feminist for the followers and attention.
😮 that sounds so dangerous! I'm glad you're out! please stay safe!! ❤
I believe over 70% of men are narcs of have narc traits.
We can't diagnose NPD, but we can recognize narcissistic traits. Wish people would stop gaslighting victims of such people. "Oh you can't diagnose someone". Tell that to my trauma, Susan. P.S. This isn't directed at you. I'm just sad you have to add the diagnosis disclaimer.
Holy Shit, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Stay Safe love
I actually do believe that the majority of men are narcissists. Idc what anyone says, they're way more common than people think
My first “boyfriend,” the guy who r*ped me multiple times, was very vocal about how he’s a feminist. And after I reported him, he posted about how women get s*xually assaulted and how bad that is.
I’m sorry that happened to you, hun. ❤ These weirdos can be completely insane sometimes. I hope you are in a space of healing and finding peace.
❤❤❤ bless you
Isn’t it enraging? I’ve experienced something more or less the same
It is disgusting. Thank you for sharing your story and spread awareness. I hope you’re doing well. Take care love you are worth it!❤
Omg I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I hope your healing and that you received justice❤
When you see “male feminist” on dating profiles, what that means is that he only goes Dutch and expects sex on the first date.
Exactly. If I see feminism is listed as one of their interests, almost always, "sex positivity" is also a listed interest. Like what?!
@@heathbar8015 Whoa, a sex positive straight man?! How incredibly rare 😂
I once met my friends date. He said something like " I'm a male feminist and I completely believe the notion that women are independent, sound minded and capable which is exactly why I believe in a woman paying her own bill when on a date cause I want her to be able to live by the standards she sets for herself " Absolute cringe.
girl the manipulation 😂
That's why I would never call myself a feminist. People have the strangest opinions on what feminism actually means 😅
That's a lot of words for "Pay for meee and treat meee like a princesssss!!!!" -- a lot of these "feminist" men are insanely feminine and want you to take the male role in the relationship.
Yes! He's saying that for his own benefit, not because he actually believes in equality for women.
Just say you’re broke and looking for a woman to pay your way and get out of my face.
Yep met a guy earlier this year who was a self proclaimed feminist. He then went on to tell me how he could have taken a woman’s virginity but stopped and if it were any other man he would have went there. Mans gave himself a pat on the back for not r-ping someone 🚩
I am not a male feminist I admit I won’t lie saying that I am a feminist cause in reality I am anti feminist
Real feminists don't need to go around bragging about it.
Wow if it isn’t a man looking for approval for doing below the bear minimum because no is the default setting when it comes to intimacy the same way no is the default setting when it comes to giving their life savings or even just a dollar to someone else unless agreed upon earlier. Marriage is not an agreement to intimacy at any point in time during. There are actually good or decent men out there who wouldn’t brag about not traumatizing a woman like that for life.
@@laurennelson3918 I don’t need no approval from anyone
I’m both a feminist and a spoiled girl, in a perfect world I wouldn’t need to be neither, but we don’t live in a perfect world
what's wrong with being spoiled?
@@Vindicador01Dream on.
@@ShaiLaiBeing spoiled can lead to entitlement. But being wealthy or investing in self-care is completely different.
Feminists can be spoiled too
@@ShaiLai in a perfect world there’s no patriarchy that you can capitalize on
11:09 “ they say men are visual creatures and then they look like that” 💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂
@@taemmatewomp womp
Male feminists are so sus lol
Nice guys
They’re always the first to try and do violent things in the bedroom because “isn’t it liberating?”
Might be an unpopular opinion, but this includes gay feminist men, too. Some of them low key hate women.
@@andregustavolr2k22 are you a spoiled girlie?
@@andregustavolr2k22 are you slow? Watch the video and maybe it won’t go over your head this time
***PLEASE CREDIT THE AUTHOR OF THAT QUOTE*** Andrea Dworkin is the Author to Credit for Right Wing Men think women are Private Property and Left Wing Men think women are Public Property in her 1970's Book, 'Right Wing Women'. If you want your mind blown, read any of her work. She was an absolute visionary.
👏👏👏
she was so ahead of her time, especially about p0rnography and leftist males.
@@kenshinrurouni3784A commenter didn't give credit, not this channel.
@@Robin-kp1jgwomp womp. Get outta here with your purity shit. No one can pass it. Manifestelle is giving tangible, applicable life advice, what’re y’all giving women? Armchair philosophy bullshit. Can’t even be happy that Andrea’s ideas are getting out there.
@@Robin-kp1jg Really? It seemed like you were just shitting on manifestelle.
Plenty of men are feminists but the ones who are "in your face" about it are the most suspicious of being performative.
Exactly!!! You said in a way I couldn't, and you made it sound so easy. Lol. I know tons of great people, but the ones overfocused on being male feminists and voicing it aaaaall the time... Those are weird as hell.
I rarely call myself a feminist for this reason, I don't like the performativity of it
@@jordanjohnson9866 are you a bot or a man? either way, what?
One thing my grandma said and that sticks with me is: your grandpa saw me as a good match 'cause he could use me. So I didnt see nothing wrong with using him too. At the time, I thought she was awful. She really was, but this was one of the few times she was absolutely right
Bubbe had her priorities in order 🙏
Grandma was smart
I've recently been embracing what I'm calling Grandma Energy - being tidy, organised, having my business in order, enjoying cosy hobbies, growing my own food, cooking from scratch, doing crafts with neighbours and taking absolutely no nonsense from men especially ones who are inappropriate and disrespectful. Grandmas have their priorities straight.
@@katec9893 Yeeees, SPOILED GRANNY GIRLIE its a mood in 2024
People need to let go of this idea that relationships aren’t transactional. There’s give and take with everything!
6th wave feminism. Also, the pick Michaels can form their own support group.
🤣😂🤣Pick-Michaels! I’ve never heard it put that way before but I think I’ll borrow that one from you 🤣😂🤣
😂😂😂👌💯 You win the internet today with the "pick Michaels". From today on, I'll call fem-men just that.
Pick Michaels is wild 🤣🤣
Pick Michaels 💀💀💀Okay I'm borrowing that
I was a pick Michael 😂😂😂 So freaking thankful for all these comments and content
I was just watching a TikTok debate held by a male feminist and I had this weird icky feeling on the inside the entire time. There was a panel of two feminist men and three feminist women attacking this right winged man about gender roles. And I felt sick listening to the men in the group arguing about how a woman can lift as heavy as they could and are capable of working long hours out in the sun at a construction site along side them with the women egging them on to say that! I would also say in general is that most men only want to fight for women to be more sexually accessible to them and for the women not smart enough to catch onto that is infuriating.
Funny, most women can’t do the same load of physical labor as men, but when I see road crews, the person holding the sign is often a woman. There are plenty of women in blue collar fields, just as there are plenty of differently abled people who can work with accommodations, or in areas that match up to their abilities. It sounds like none of the men on that panel had any job experience in manual labor. There are many areas in those jobs that don’t require strength. I would argue the main reason there arent as many women in manual labor is that we go to college, and chose different, often better paying jobs fields of work.
Idk I'm a woman and I work a hard manual labour job, that I love and am perfectly capable of
@@MyDuckSaysFucc I agree about the "sexually available" part. That's exactly what I've always thought. "Feminist" men are always the most sadistic types in bed.
That’s why I don’t believe that sex work is empowering for all women. It’s just giving them what they want with extra steps.
@@Elisabetta886 Feminism is great for men when they can benefit from it. But as far as women getting things all on their own, and all for themselves, that’s the part that makes their eyes twitch. Like the main argument is always saying that men have to go to war when it’s like “Baby, when was the last time someone told YOU to go to war?”
I like how you advocate for women not settling for the bare minimum in what is essentially a business contract with men. Preach on.
Funny thing, if you say that out loud, men will call you heartless or whatever. How dare you think about having a balanced relationship and not giving everything you have for free to a man in the name of love. 😂
@@kirin2560 They have the audacity to say so when they're so fucking shameless AND heartless most of the time
@@andrzejdobrowolski9523 Need a tissue?
"We don't owe you space here." That altered my brain chemistry. I feel at home here, you're attitude is hecka contagious. Tysm for creating such a community ❤❤❤
couldn’t agree more:)))
The "sexual revolution" and "free love" served the lusts of "male feminists". Consider what many have said of director Joss Whedon.
Yeah
My abusive ex husband was a feminist.. needless to say that he ended up being a covert narcissit who took advantage of me financially and emotionally, and took me to the cleaners when I stood up to him and asked for a divorce.. don't be fooled ladies.. these men are wolves in sheep clothes
I think my ex at the beginning agreed to equal rights for everyone blah blah blah. Not long before I left him he told me they were equal now and so it's not needed. Meanwhile I'm in the throws of motherhood doing ALL the traditional female roles I didn't sign up for no help for.
Just the title alone deserves a standing ovation. I don’t want those creeps anywhere around me. 👏
❤❤❤
I'm so glad this is being discussed now. I've considered myself a feminist for a long time and when I met my ex who proclaimed himself to be a feminist, I trusted him. It was all nice and dandy until he exposed himself by getting mad at me because I didn't want to be in a 5050 rlts. A 5050 rlts in which he was already making so much more money than me, already having his own business while I was struggling to start my own. During the short time we were together, he paid for a very cheap vacation ONCE and when we were going through the breakup, he brought it up and said he found it weird that I didn't ask to put in my share (even though he himself offered to pay in the beginning like...tf you mean??). Of course I ran as fast as I could while this man was apologizing to me left and right begging me to stay. After all that bs? Sir, please. Lmao it was a big joke, ladies, but an eye-opening experience for me nonetheless. These 5050 men are ridiculous. Elle is right, be very careful with the self-proclaimed feminist men because more often than not, they only do it because they would be benefiting from women's invisible and UNPAID labour.
Ugh there is nothing worse than someone who is not generous. Honestly, I would even pay for a friend's vacation if I had the money and she was struggling
"It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you." I always advocate taking a step back emotionally from what someone says and looking at the effect they have on the people around them and the consequences of their words and deeds. You're right about being suspicious of men who claim to feminists.
I agree i've seen some of them go from being mysoginistic and very anti woman to very anti man suddenly too after they got busted for a crime. It's the same principal as a pick me advocating for a bunch of conservative men and hating on her own gender. It doesn't really fit there style and personality so it's bound to stick out. Both are suspicious I agree because they have a different motive in mind when they switch there demeanors like that some of them are bi polar too and my shrink told me I wouldn't be a good match for someone like this because they would always be picking fights with me and changing there mind. If you call them out for it the blame will immediately be shifted back onto you and they will try to make you look like the crazy one for choosing them as if they didn't have a choice too they did for example I've heard some of these narcissists say, "women commit crimes and kill people too and that's why they go postal more often because he was triggered she was either wearing the wrong outfit or she didn't want to go on a date with them.. that or she did go on a date with him but she slept with him to soon or she cheated on him or dumped him for another man and that's why he killed them. It's there way of taking the focus off what they just did wrong to break the law by not taking any accountability for what they did so naturally they will try to cover it up by saying there being accused or they will change the subject and tell you that your just being too emotional about this and that not all men kill people. Everyone knows that but the goal is to get this to stop happening all together not keep shifting the blame back on other people. Just because everything in life goes both ways doesn't mean people should just keep killing people for absolutely no real reason at all because it won't solve the problem in front of you the only way for people to solve it is to not break the law anymore and for people to start acting right and seeking mental health treatment for there addictions so it's not rocket science and I'm not sure why every year these individuals need a mass shooting or some kind of armed robbery just because there afraid of not being remembered. Think about it I could understand once in the blue moon this happening but this is every other year an event like this happens were a man goes on a mass shooting it's like the elephant in the room that Nobody wants to talk about and instead of addressing it like it's a serious problem it's become some sort of manly tradition for them to go out with a bang and make a fool out all there loved one's on national TV. Then everyone just has to keep sweeping it under the rug as if it never even happened so other men don't feel embarrassed. Then they have the audacity to wonder why 80 percent of women recently initiated a divorce because it's hard to trust people anymore even if you've known them for years. If that many men think this way about their communities it's not safe to choose better if they won't choose to be better men. They just want to destroy everything they built like some kind of child throwing a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way. It's not healthy it's concerning and the government should address it they don't just need to pull these men off the streets and give them housing they need to have some time to themselves so they can rebuild and heal and women can't just keep trying to hold there hands and do everything for them because there not children. The only way to actually save them is to decenter them and let a professional help them heal not a wife, prostitute or a gf. Women are supposed to be like rewards for men that actually love women and work hard to protect there communities they shouldn't just have one because they feel owed. I want a sports car too but it doesn't mean I'll get one unless I put on the work to save for it.
I’d rather be treated like someone’s Rolls-Royce than their 1998 Dodge Caravan.
I'd rather just own my own vehicle and be independent.
reminds me of my "male friend" from 2 years ago, who claimed he was a Feminist and when it was International women's day he went around to all of his male friends saying to celebrate it. But of course he "fell in love with me" even though I clearly told him x4 that I only wanted to stay friends, because: 1. I wasn't keen on him in a romantic way, never was, never will be 2. he earns 18k a year 3. he lives overseas 4. he lives with his mom (if you need to live with family atm for whatever circumstances I understand, but in his case he shouldn't be chasing after women if he doesn't even have a place of his own) 5. he's not as intelligent as I am even though he's 6 years older than me 6. he literally told me that he doesn't know what he wants to do for his future, has zero goals & plays video games 8 hrs per day without monetization (like on Twitch at least) 7. he went to school recently for 2 years to learn Russian so he can talk with his Russian friends, but can't even be bothered to put it to use and become a language teacher 8. he'd always come up to my avatar in Virtual Reality (VR) and kiss (or blow me kisses) me even though I'd tell him multiple times to stop so yeah, I was only friends with him at the time (1 yr) cause he gave me some emotional support during a time that I had needed it. But now I'm done, I'm not wasting my time with him anymore when I could be getting paid. It amazes me how so many men can have the audacity to chase after women knowing that they don't have the resources to support & help look after her, the "hobosexuals" out here are abundant. But please learn from my experience cause I remember spending 10 years being with a hobosexual, NEVER again. I was gaslit for being a "gold digger" by all of my other male friends/aquaintences when I told them that I wanted to have a husband who could at least pay 50% of the bills cause "ughh, you should be paying your own bills, what else are you gonna spend your money on?" 😒 and cause my hobosexual ex didn't have his own place & lived with his mom, I could never move in with him & so I had to stay with my abusive parents that made me work 8+ hrs a day for them for FREE or they'd threaten me & then my ex would literally cry like a baby whenever I didn't spend 6-8 hrs with him EVERY SINGLE NIGHT cause he had no life of his own. And then he'd threaten to end his own life if I ever broke up with him cause I was "his meaning of life." But 2 years ago, I left him a final message & blocked him everywhere not letting him send me a reply. Ppl die everyday, I'm not gonna be held hostage anymore for the rest of my life. Now I've stopped being broke cause I've worked on myself, broken free from my abusive family, I'm happily single (if I find a quality man in the future I don't mind) and I'm living life for me! 💙 sometimes I feel really silly for my past mistakes, but I've had to forgive myself & at least I've smartened up now compared to never coming to my senses.. these vids by Manifestelle have helped me a lot also! I was also abused as a kid/teen/young adult by my parents who were holding me hostage saying that if I ever left them, they'd hunt me down & unalive me so I was unable to think clearly. I was told by them that I deserved nothing, no happiness or joy & that I was a "monster" because I wasn't rich & didn't give them all of my money for free. But now I'm a spoiled girly who spoils herself, I literally feel like I've broken out of prison even though I've never been to prison 😅 just sitting at a cafe by myself I feel so much relief
@@AnnaGrace603 I'm sorry that you had gone through that, I'm really glad that you were able to find your strength 💙when I first met my ex it was online and I was one week from being 16 & he was 28, and at the time I just wanted one person in the world to love me in my life. But little did I know, he was a wolf in sheep's clothing. He wasted my time & my youth, and he knew the entire time that I was being abused by my narcissistic parents but he still never once got a job in the 10 years that I knew him, even though every single day he kept telling me that I was "his soul mate that he loved more than anybody & no other man could ever love me as much as he could." He kept using his walking disability as an excuse on why he couldn't get a job, but he could still walk around 95% just fine though he just needed a cane. He still could of found a computer job or a desk job, but he still kept making so many excuses. People who threaten you saying that they'll unalive themselves if you don't stay with them don't truly love you, if they truly love you they'd want what's best for you. He was truly in his "divine feminine energy" cause I asked what he'd do since I'd be the one earning money in our relationship, and he wanted to be a "house dad" and give me 2-3 kids. Thank the Universe I never continued his dusty lineage of poverty and suffering. He said that he'd "look after me & the kids", but how? you can't even be quick on your feet to bend down with a cane easily to pick up a baby/toddler. But I try not to dwell on it anymore, it's just a cautionary tale I hope that inspires the younger ladies especially. Right now I'm too distracted from living my best life, having fun, spoiling myself and educating myself. I learned that "love" is not enough, which I remember Manifestelle mentioning before too in one of her vids. Cause true love isn't just "words", it's also "action" and to distract me from becoming my best-self.. literally crying if I didn't spend 6-8 every hours with him every single night was selfish of him. And the "gold digger" gaslighting from all of my past "male friends", made me continue to go down a path of poverty & suffering. So I've learned now that male friendships, unless it benefits you financially aren't worth it imo. 9/10 my male friends (all poor dusties or 'King baby' alpha podcast bros) would "fall in love with me", so none were quality men that would actually be able to protect me. I had learn to protect myself. And I did date a rich one too once, but then he became an "Tate-stan" and literally told me that he wanted a "new gf every single week" so yeah, rich guys can be toxic also & he was a cheapskate towards me too. He made 400k a year, and literally only got me a single cupcake for my b'day, no other gift 😅even though I helped him find a new job, comforted him cause he had depression, made appointments for him, cooked, cleaned, gave my body, ect. being the Source that I am, but he was still 100% ungrateful for. But I know that I deserve so much more, I have been so kind and giving but now it's for myself & for people who actually deserve it in my eyes. Not for users, not for abusers, hobosexuals, fake male Feminists or for dusties. It's for fellow kind & generous people, people who genuinely treat me well, serious potential partners who are quality men only and for true female friends who got my back. Now all of my ex male friends wonder why the women in their lives have all left them and it's literally made them aggressive/full of anguish, but I believe they do know why but they just refuse to change for the better because they are all super lazy.
Good for you Enjoy your freedom Girlpower 💃💃💃
Get that bag bestie!
Get rid of male friends like seriously. Even the gay ones because they see you as some weird competition. Surround yourself with like-minded girls
@@Laura-Yu yah, I learned the hard way that I could never be "one of the boys" 😅 in their eyes they will always see me as a s3xual object, someone if they can take to bed they can brag to all of their male friends. I only had male friends cause, I was playing in a VR online shooter esports tournament.. and literally only 4 other ladies who played at the time when I'd play regularly, out of 1000's of players. But we also played during different timezones, so I almost never saw them. But my interests have changed now, I'm no longer keen on regular online gaming, especially with the amount of toxicity going on with male gamers now with the male loneliness epidemic, I'm focusing on my career and getting my bag, aha if I ever play it's once every 2-3 weeks, but a solo game
Yes, men who are feminists a lot of the times sleep around more, you can really start to see their true attentions. This topic reminds me of the early history of china, women were in power, strong and tuff. Then it became more “desirable” for a woman to be weak and frail wonder who made that up 😒. It’s alway been men wanting to be on top and in control, by changing standards of women.
Yup. Exactly.
Heey @ manifestelle , I'm an 18 years old girl, from north Africa, Morocco (North of Morocco) , I want to say THANK YOU ❤❤❤ You really helped me so much in understanding how things work and you inspired me to build a clear vision of my future, I'm currently at my second year of university, I'm studying (math, physics,informatics, chemistry) and yes that's how things work here because it's like a 2 years of college and then you decide what to choose clearly...., anyway, I just wanted to say that the way relationships or should I say interactions between women and men are no different than what you are talking about, the red pill community just brainwashed sooo many men with a touch of religion (which makes it worse) and Yaa , by listening to you I learned how to deal with the whole thing and how to "take that bag while securing my own 😊" , I'm still learning, I was raised to be a modest young lady(Even if I don't wear hijab actually), and to have values, I'm happy and glad my family had always some wonderful and great women , and that i have so many opportunities, thank you again ❤❤❤
Go girl 💜
@@G0ddess_Kateyou made my day 🥺♥️
Awesome! I don't even know you, but I'm so happy for you! Sending love from the U.S.A 💕
Please choose a high earning career and don't give bad men any chance
I have studied and lived in Morocco so I'm a little (lot) aware of the situation over there. Please, keep up the good work. Get that bag and be happy ! You are young and if you are on this page, you are learning valuable info. Good luck in life.
At this point I hope that you, Elle, are writing a spoiled girlie support group handbook/guide. Thank you! We needed this and it's helpful to so many of us girlies
Yess!! I'll definitely buy it.
WE WANT A HANDBOOK!
I need a book from Elle. In the same genre, there is "Ashy men will make you fat" from BurbNBougie, a content creator that is woman-centered. If you love Manifestelle, there is a high cance that you'll love BurbNBougie too.
@@rokiashnell5871 I don't know that!! That's a great recommendation, thank you. I was reading Shera sevens books, they also fit in this genre pretty well hehe
You mentioning how draining and exhausting it is for women to argue with men online opened my eyes. I always did it and would push back and one time I did that to these guys bashing down another girl physically, but they all got so relentless and were faceless, private accounts. They were SOOO draining lmao. They literally will do anything to drain you of your energy and it truly is such a waste of time! Even the girl being bashed wasn't paying mind to it, so I questioned why I did. Your advice on saving the energy instead of using it on these gross ass men saved me so much time and mind fr!
Have you seen those videos on TT where the man pushes his books on the floor and is like “ oh no I’ve just dropped my feminist literature” then he smiles into the camera seductively? I love those videos because men are calling each other out on their OBVIOUS tactics.
I'm so glad that im learning about this at the age of seventeen. I feel like Im doing future me justice.
you're lucky to be exposed to this kind of content that young, I was such a pickme at 17 💀
You definitely are.
same, i’m also 17 but i discovered this kind of content around 16 so i’m also really grateful
You really are!
Very true. I had a self proclaimed feminist male friend in high school and was confused at that time so as to why he was so loud about this thing only in front of females. Your video explains everything. Thanks.
OH MY GOD, I always felt weird crippling feeling when somebody (mostly Indians or Arabic males) would tell me that "they are a good person".... or call themselves respectful. Because usually THESE ones were the opossite and were showing me how ego hurt and selfish they are the second when I exposed themelves in a neutral/polite way. And oh my god, not so long ago, I went out with a guy that told me before the meeting "if we get along I will always bring you flowers"nbut when we met, he showed up without them.. and when I pointed it out and asked the reason behind his words are not matching the actions - he said that IF in the future... Bruh. What value and level of superficialness is this this fuckery. Aaand that was only the top of the red flag behaviours that he was embodying... Yeah.
idk online dating is giving me depressing vibes. Downloaded okcupid few days ago and will delete my profile today.
My dad proclaimed he hated feminists, but was actually surprisingly feminist. Anyway, you never know. Talk is cheap. And that's why I'm all messed up now.
Usually that happens becausr of the steriotypes feminists carry. My dad never proclaimed hate over feminists, but didn't like when I started to study about it. But at the same time, he: pais my mom's college so she could fulfill her dream cause her father stopped paying her college to punish her for marrying my dad. He also raised me at young age to study, have a fullfilling career, advised me to be always financially independent and never rely on a man. (He as a doctor dealt with a lot of marital rape cases). If that's not a feminist guy, idk what it is. And he never had to read tons of feminist books or use t-shirts for that. 😅
Perhaps he doesn't know the actual definition of feminism or what a feminist is? Maybe he's bought into what people say it is. People are completely misusing the word "feminist/feminism". If he hates feminists, he hates women who believe that you should have social, economic, and political rights.
Just wanted to tell you that I’ve discovered your channel recently and I love having for once a space dedicated to women who don’t want to play the “cool girl”. I appreciate you for filtrating the comments and standing up for your values, I find that super empowering. Having grown up in an environment where women were really not cherished, it truly makes me less ashamed of wanting good things for myself. Sending you some love, you go girl 💕💪
My feminist man friend was always invalidating my opinions lol. They're the real incels.
8:17 looool I love you elle 😂😂😂 had me laughing hard at this, guys will only pretend to "support" girls when they want something in return, and the mask falls off when they dont get what they want, Kinda like a pickmesha man 😂
💀 This! I'm starting a game just playing along with these guys until I slowly disagree. (for my safety, it's always online.) Then I keep disagreeing. Just saying, many of them lose their whole mind on the first no and start insulting right away. But I say more than three lines together and i'm "emotional" apparently. 😂😅
@@annabourbonthe amount of men who get so emotional about women being emotional is hilarious when it is not straight up terrifying
9:10, men’s support feels and is conditional, period. We live in this world and it’s time to see it for what it is.
"do other men know that you're a feminist?"🙃
after reading the title, i was like “nah, this doesn’t sit right with me.” but after watching the video, i mostly agree. only performative “feminist” men lurk in female spaces or try to convince you that they’re a feminist. that being said, there are genuinely good men who claim that they are a feminist and actually are one. but again, they are VERY rare. most men who claim to be feminists only do so to get laid and are ashamed to mention their “feminism” in front of their male-counterparts.
I identify as a feminist but I'm starting to see the light in the spoiled girly support group. I've been watching for a while. I don't feel like the goals of this channel conflict with feminism but I get how it could.... but it still feels right, and I'm all for what helps women. I just wish men would help themselves.
Oh my....I am now absolutely stuck in "Devine Feminine Receiving Energy with this melody"🙆, every time a guy around me behaves in that way. Thank you for your support, bestie...It just takes off those little girl pink glasses aside and honestly quite boosts confidence and understanding of my worth, and what exactly going on around in this world, around me and in social groups I take part of... You're the best and doing great enlightening our inside little delulu princesses...
This was so accurate! I've had men in my class (English Literature) call themselves feminist only when the topics included women sharing the load with other men (paying bills/50-50 dates etc). You are so funny Elle lmao 🤪😩😂❤
The worst kind I've seen are the ones that only love equality when it comes to hitting people. "Equal Rights, Equal Fights" they'd say. It's just another way to say they wanna hit women.
This is why I trust conservative men more than liberal men. I may not agree with conservative men or values, but I feel safer knowing that I know EXACTLY who they are. Edit: I’m not telling the girlies to date or be with Conservative men. I’m just saying that I know what I’m getting or how they view me if I speak to one. VS the liberal guy who sometimes and somehow is deep down more misogynistic!
You don't "trust" conservative men, you trust your own judgement when you have more information to go by. Be very careful trusting conservative men, they are deeply misogynistic and have massive institutions like organised religion backing them up.
Exactly. You know exactly what they expect and where they stand. Especially the ones were still staunchly conservative. Liberal men tend to be more of a slip and slide based upon the day and the situation. They are the ones who want to see you succeed, but not to be better than them. They are the ones that wants you to get everything you want and deserve in the room of your space without impeding on their own. They are the ones who are in silent competition with you and will, at times, rely on their traditional patriarchal upbringing to sling mud on your name, to get what they want, and call it fair. Conservative men say, get out, stay out and stay in your lane.
Um….that’s still settling for mediocrity
@@Blue_Azure101 I never said I date them or settle for them. In general in my day to day life I feel safer. It’s like the feminist theory states “conservative men think women are private property, liberal men think women are public property.” I know a conservative man’s intentions. I can swerve and avoid them better. Liberal men like to put on an act so you feel safe, then try to take advantage of you.
Better to trust no humans
Males are self interested and will always put themselves first. Never trust them outside of what they do for you. Give your unconditional love to your children and/or pets.
They wrote an entire Bible around it.
@@brunoqnzbk7891they actually stole the bible and other patriarchal books from the first African women who walked this Earth. Read the Sybil’s & The Cosmic Mother.
The hypocrisy is so crazy and what’s worse is you 100% don’t see it💀men and women are lost.
Im done with all these mens saying they are "femisnists" and just wanting to split the check. You are so right! Goid men dont need to name themselvs, you just know it bu their action. Yeh, besties, wake up!
I have to admit that I am a little bit scared of the day this support group will become so popular that more and more men will invade it and try to dump their opinions here. I have been here since the community was smaller, like 20k subs or something like that, and it felt very cozy. It felt very safe. Don't get me wrong- i love that more and more women see these important eye opening messages, but I am afraid that it will be invaded by the wrong people too and it'll lose the coziness and safety. I guess the only thing left to do is to ignore them (since they clearly know they're not welcome here), but it is making me a little frustrated cuz there are hundreds upun hundreds of male only spaces online and there is NO woman there. But we can't even have one
If makes you feel any better, the day this chann starts to bother these people, it is because it made it's job properly. I don't agree with everything she says, but her job is incredible. But I get your concern. It is horrible to lose a safe space at this super mysoginistic internet/world.
They can't do anything to you on the internet.If they come here is because they want women's attention.I want this channel to become super popular so that more women learn.We cannot turn the tide until enough women realized that they have been duped by this "feminism" version that is popular.
my bf is a male feminist, and turns out he was cheating on me... also he doesn't respect my boundaries
The few I met were cover narcissists.
same
i am with a good guy with centre-left ideals who does not see me as public property. 17:02 just sounds real jaded, don't settle for being private property thinking that's the best option if you're in a relationship. Some guys will in fact see you as a person and value you like a gift. But I do agree with everything else in this video, Elle keeps dropping these bangers and I've learnt soo many things that just ring so true. Never stop queen, you have built the best community.
Men are not allowed in a girls only treehouse, I always knew and said this ❤🎉
Everyone should be a feminist- but when guys go around bragging about it thats a red flag.
"Men are all creeps" facts 💯
My boyfriend doesn't call himself a feminist, but his views fit actual feminism. He's very progressive and all, but he knows in this world, I need someone to provide for me and protect me.
If you need a guy to provide for you, then by definition, both of you aren't feminists, just saying.
@srizangupta1957 material reality is one thing, what I think would be ideal is another. We do want to have children in the future. Children make men get raises more easily, children make women less employable. It's easier that way. Probably, I shouldn't have used the word "need" in there. Also, I don't think feminism is about having to provide for oneself. I personally wouldn't want to go 50/50 with a man, and if I have a child with someone, I expect that person to provide.
@@srizangupta1957 I can fight for equality, to get more maternity leave, for measures to diminish discrimination based on gender. I can do all of that and still choose as a couple for him to be the provider.
It always comes back to words over actions, every time. "I'm a feminist" thing should go in one ear and out the other. As should "I'm a good person", "I'll never hurt you", or anything else that they should be PROVING with their behavior. My only response is a half-hearted smile and a polite but bored "Oh, how nice". OBSERVE THEM. They will try to cold-read you and adjust themselves so they can feed you what you want to hear. That's why I ignore the "what's your ideal man?" or "what do you look for in a man?" questions, too. Be damned if I provide you with a manual on how to play me 🤣🤣 No, sir. Give him room to breathe, let him talk and open up, observe him in various situations and JUDGE HIM ACCORDINGLY. If he's really a feminist, he'll prove it. If he's worth your time AT ALL, he will prove it.
Men don’t do anything without it benefiting them. Simple as 😢
“being a spoiled girlie is malicious compliance”
How do you not have a million subs ?! 👏 👏 👏 I’m 51 and learning so much. I’m a spoiled girly now, and proud of it
Idk I did have male professor feminists and they are some of the first adults to see my potential. One male professor, my left wing us history professor (loved his lecture so I took his higher up discussion courses) and he preached that everyone should be a feminist and that true male feminists marry feminists. My male profs never defined feminism beyond ‘what makes women empowered, equal, safer, happier’ and they never steered discussion unless it was clear the class didn’t do the reading lol. But I think even they were confused about benevolent sexism versus hostile sexism and often left this stuff up to the class. I agreeeee with this video though. My bf will tell other men he’s a feminist and he is the only man I know personally who was scared, angry, and sad when we lost abortion as a federal right. But yeah the men I’ve heard who are legit do the feminist name dropping a lot less and instead will talk about how society is patriarchal and how to make it better for women around them.
Yeah those “true” feminist men do exist. I’m glad you found one 💞
Men will start arguments online but it's weird. I didn't even know a guy was starting an argument when he asked why a picture was epic. So as a former English teacher, I told him elements of an epic and how queen of the damned had those elements. He came back with: you're in your feelings.lol. Me: educating you about an epic upon your request isn't in my feelings. You literally come to me for wisdom. I provided.
I wish I saw all these videos before I ever started dating, could have saved 7 years of trauma and hurt and mistreatment 😢
The moment I realized my hubby was a true feminist was when his friend was complaining about his wife nagging him and my hubby asked, "Did you give her a reason to nag?" The feminist issue that grinds my hubby's gears the most is the rampant use of weponized incompetence by men.
It's the same with conservative and catholic guys talking to catholic girls - if he says he's catholic as it was his main advantage - RUN! Don't listen anything that goes further - RUN!
🎯 my famous - ish did this and does this on his platform. He SA’d me and exploited sex workers after we divorced… I love it here, I’m so glad this content exists regardless of if you are politically aligned with feminism. I am pro woman first.
I love how this page is impeccable with pointing out who the target audience is and the purpose of the message. Not said enough on the internet or in media.
I always crack up when the music plays at 'divine feminine receiving energy/era'
So good😂😂
THIS! So tired of the talking. Time to up our block game fr
🔥🔥🔥 And this is why I am fight to keep working REMOTE as a software developer the world of ultra liberal anti-social misogynistic men. I have so much trauma from having my body physically there with them and have had the displeasure of them not letting me do my work so I can continue to get that 💰.
Im sorry, but “trauma”?? My mom worked as a software developer for years in a company started by a woman developer. I’ve never heard my mom complain about anything that was misogynistic much less traumatic
@@Marloelizabeth.-. "i haven't encountered it, so it's not real, also world hunger doesn't exist because I just ate"
I'm FtM, but even after transition I wouldn't feel comfortable in a workspace like that. Nerdy dudes are the worst, sometimes. All power to ya.
I work with nearly all men, only men directly. None are like tech bros and thankfully I got old and fat but it is still a lot of male energy. I couldn't imagine also coming home and having a man there.
Indeed, don't get mad on men within their Devine Feminine Receiving Energy, just GET PAID. Elle, I've been watching since 2 or 3 months now, and I feel the shift happening by decenter men, and especially center myself. I've 'lost' male friends, but now I see that's only for the greatest of good. I've gained myself (back). And I won't stopping now. I have a quote that says: 'take your own fruits (of labor)'. This was a reminder not to spill my fruits to unworthy people. And since a couple of months I realized 'men' are picking fruits without even asking. I have much to learn on this department, but this gained knowledge is worth more than anything in the world. I'm glad you're here to wake girlies up. Thank you, Elle, for your time to make video's like this 💜💐
I’m so proud of you Elle, you’re articulating on so many points that us nuanced girlies silently debate within ourselves. Your channel is a breath of fresh air. ❤️
Giirl!! We need a Manifestelle merch line specifically for the menz with hoodies and tshirts that state: “I’m in my divine feminine receiving era~” I literally holler everytime Elle says it on screen with the little jingle in the background 😂💀
This. A friend of mine was being made uncomfortable by the attentions of a mutual friend,and they had met through me. I could tell he was coming on too strong, and I tried to gently dissuade him. One day, she messaged, and said, “Im sorry, but he making me uncomfortable.” He basically was “putting coins into the girl machine” as my son calls it - commenting on every post, trying way too hard to impress her, and even sharing one of her posts, saying what a “cool girl” she was when she was in a play. He barely knew her. She didn’t know what to do, and I took it upon myself to play interference and spare her the embarrassment. I messaged him, and said pretty much the truth, the she was shy, and was worried that he was interested in a way that she she just wasn’t. This turned into a huge back and for the between us, with him basically whining about “Why can’t I comment like EVERYONE ELSE”. This is a grown man in his 30s. What really got to me was when he said “Oh, I know SHE HAS ALL THE POWER” that I flipped out, and asked him what in the Andrew Tare was he talking about?!? Dude, you may be unhappy with the source of the information, but once you know you’re making someone uncomfortable you back the fuck away, you don’t double down. I found out he’s never actually dated anyone, and that he’s had an issue with something else years ago. Of course, his Facebook is just loaded with liberal posts proving how he just loves everyone and supports everyone. Unless they tell him to go away.
i need merch with “go find brotherhood” so bad!!! the most iconic line ever
This is so true. I have this guy in my class who tried to have a conversation with me and his first strike were "he's not like other men" and he's often talking about his "loyalty" and "other men are bad and he's good" " I prefer women as friend because men are competitive." And guess what? He's dating two female all at once then brags about it! Plus when he found out I love expensive perfume, he started using a fake chanel perfume infront of me and splashing his fakeness everywhere. This type of men is just thirsty for female attention. Huge red flags. When they can't get you with this tactics, they'll desperately find other ways like showing you their fake perfume from time to time bragging how expensive it is💀
Just laugh at him for no reason every time you see him or he tries to talk to you.Never explain him why.
OMG who wear fake perfume? Lol. Perfumes are generally cheap to me. Fake perfume gezz.
I think the main difference between Elle and a lot of feminists (I am one) is that she deals a lot more with what the world is and how to come out on top in that world, whereas mainstream feminism often looks at changing the world to be better/different. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive, I think they're just different approaches to feminism. I love Elle and this channel
“Ideologically homeless” 😂 this comment alone was worth watching this 💖 Here for the new wave of feminism 🦋
Manifestelle and BurbNBougie are my favorite KZheadrs lately. I spend my time sharing your videos with my girl friends because I want us all to be on point. I don't know what it is but they don't seem as interested as I am. It's okay, they'll get there eventually. But I would hate for them to not know the game. Thank you for your service as always. A truly needed video. My ex never clearly said that he was a feminist and always shared posts about women rights. Then I would listen to his discussions with his friends and something would feel icky. The last time we met, he told me that he felt like women were not worth his time and that he sometimes felt mysoginistic. That's when I knew that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Exes can't be friends. It was my rule and I'm keeping it. I don't need that energy around me.
I literally don't and never have. "Male feminist" just doesn't math.
Wow! Over 100k🎉🎉🎉🎉congrats. I remember a few months ago you had 30k subs. This just shows how relevant this is. Keep up your work
A long term friend of mine forced me to be a friend with a man she was friend's with from her university because she thought we would get along. He was apparently doing his PHD on feminism and was all for women's rights etc. I spoke to him a few times and after that, he would bombard me with messages and get upset when I didn't reply within a certain time, would send me jealous messages if he knew when I was chatting to my son's dad which was literally to chat about my son. I was not dating this loser, yet he was draining my energy. I was working full time and raising my disabled child full time at the time and he knew this. My child and I went away on holiday and I didn't use my social media during this time. This guy sent me soo many messages whilst I was away, said he was 'so worried' about me cause I didn't reply to his messages, thought something bad happened to me even though he knew I was on holiday!! What pissed me off was that my female friend defended this pos, I am not friends with her anymore.
Her response to that male’s comment was queen ass energy lol
These feminist and liberal men secretly hate women, but acknowledge the hard work and strength that they have for their own benefit. He sees a woman who works hard to buy her own car so she can give him rides. He sees a woman who works her way up the ladder so she can go 50-50 or pay the whole bill. He admires a sexually liberated woman who gives freely and waits for a window of opportunity for his turn.
I am so glad that I found your video! I'm 42. I've never heard of "spoiled girlies". But I'm so glad you are here! I've had a complicated relationship with feminism forever. I've had FIGHTS with my feminist friends over it. You are having the conversations I was trying to have 20 years ago. Good for you. Keep it up🎉 also: I called out male feminists like joss whedon waaaayyy before the rest of the world found out they are icky.
I can not tell you how much watching your videos has opened my eyes. It puts everything into perspective
There is this book, "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" which is a book for relationship advice. The author said "A rich woman can only expect sympathy from her rich therapist". This captures the hate spooled girlies have to put up with perfectly. People tend to think that if you are well off financially and a woman you cannot have any problems and oh, don't you dare complaining.
finally a video talking about this! my ex was v open about feminism but a red flag I saw but chose to ignore was how he spoke about women to his male friends.. he also used me sexually and broke up with me right after for a new girl :/ don’t trust the nice guys ladies
Im not a feminist. I’m feminine.
I'm a feminine feminist
@@charmaineespeut4627Im a divine feminine-masculine hardcore feminist
I am a being of love & light, which also has a badass protective shadow-self 😄
I like trains
I'm so feminist I don't date men lol
Was thinking about how the men who treated me the best were all married and fathers of daughters and all worked in agricolture in some way
Responding to them in the comments reminds me of that adage about wrestling with pigs: "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."
I once talked to a guy whom i met in dating app he used to call himself feminist but didnt thought a second to abuse me badly in text messages
Thank you for blessing me with another video❤️
Your videos have helped me so much realizing my value and giving me courage to be more and more firm with my boundaries. I even lost a guy friend lately, who totally freaked out and raged at me when I told him my bare minimum to be friends was for him to follow up on his words. In 8 years I never found out he was this bad! Glad he's blocked now. My life is changing so much for the better already. I'll continue to get more comfortable with saying what I want, need and expect from people. It was so bad that I didn't even dare ask for a minimum before, and it still feels a little scary sometimes, but nothings gonna stop me! Your videos are a huge support to remind myself of where I want to be and what I'm worth. Thank you
My childs father is a feminist... he DV'd me. I had this talk with my dad and husband, both girl dads (my dad never liked my ex), I asked if they considered themselves feminist. Both said no, but I started talking about why they are. They still don't call themselves feminist. My husband whom when heard about Roe v. Wade was game planning how to get women access. Never sent an unsolicited eggplant pic in his life, and ask for my consent constantly. The man that always pays and tips amazingly SWers (online), which I also did SW and if I wanted to go back today he would fully support me making that bag. The man who's hobbies include debating manospher people and alt right loons and is beside me at any protest, gathering, etc. The man that picked me up after the feminist man tore me down, has never called himself a feminist.
As a WOC it's like when people say they're "antiracist" like if you're so antiracist why do you need to remind me every 5 mins how un-racist and fair you are...
Omg I love your energy towards this topic. Your videos are so inspiring and my self-worth and esteem has grown so much because you. I love the view you have toward these topics!
i like this video alot because it really vocalizes the origins of what a "nice guy" is, its like the men who claim they're feminists also probably claim they are a nice guy.
I dated a guy who was a self-professed feminist and leftist but literally told me he categorically disliked white women. But he was white?? I'm mixed race, so was he trying to win brownie points with me or something? Cause lol that was so appalling, it completely backfired. He also said I was being closed-minded when I told him how I felt terms like "menstruator" and "birthing people" were insulting to women. Because why should women be upset about being reduced to bodily functions? The audacity.
I really appreciate your advice and the space you've created for us. My life is improving so much after listening to your videos and making a lot of overdue changes. Thank you!
If men want to throw whatever script (traditional, modern women roles) at us dependent on what benefits them at the time, why not throw the script back at them of whichever one is benefiting us at the time. Same energy returned. And we get what we want (they comply or they go away)
I'm so glad I found this content. It's like finding my voice. Putting words to some of the thoughts I've had for years. So thankful there are so many other women who get it too