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I Review Amazon Self Defense Products

Markiplier
2021 ж. 17 Нау.
18 654 667 Рет қаралды
Жүктеу

Have you ever wanted to defend yourself but you don't want to spend a lot of money? Then Amazon is the perfect shop for all your self defense needs!
More Reviews ► • Markiplier Reviews Stuff
Edited By ► / rad_r
And ► / lixiantv
NEW DROPS ► cloakbrand.com/

Пікірлер

  • Wait, so I'm confused. Am I supposed to buy one of these items to defend myself, or am I supposed to call Markiplier when a threat arises? Does he come with a self-defense item included, or should I have one on me? And when Markiplier attacks me, do I call Markiplier to protect me from Markiplier? I have so many questions.

    @mihneazarojanu5761@mihneazarojanu57613 жыл бұрын

    • Lol imagine

      @maggiemccauslin1084@maggiemccauslin10843 жыл бұрын

    • Yes

      @mwebb8434@mwebb84343 жыл бұрын

    • Yes

      @RowanRen45@RowanRen453 жыл бұрын

    • 𝘠𝘦𝘴

      @inouye6594@inouye65943 жыл бұрын

    • I mean all of those options are useless

      @JS-qi1ou@JS-qi1ou3 жыл бұрын

  • I also like how Markiplier is actively trying to replace the one thing he truly lost, not unus annus, not even Ethan, his dearly beloved tactical shovel...

    @grantman5148@grantman51483 жыл бұрын

    • We don't mention it around here, you know how he gets if it is named

      @emperorpalpatine373@emperorpalpatine3733 жыл бұрын

    • Yea, let’s hope he doesn’t make a video and call me out😂, let that piece of Markiplier history Rest In Peace

      @grantman5148@grantman51483 жыл бұрын

    • He lost it???

      @MarinaaAria@MarinaaAria3 жыл бұрын

    • @@MarinaaAria he did, but it’s a mystery how???

      @grantman5148@grantman51483 жыл бұрын

    • @@grantman5148 Dude how did he?

      @oberfeldwebelhans7652@oberfeldwebelhans76523 жыл бұрын

  • Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Also Mark, mere seconds later: Bonks mannequin head on head

    @clutch_zone72@clutch_zone72 Жыл бұрын

  • Honestly is someone pulled out a collapsible staff when squaring up I’d be terrified

    @anni6572@anni65728 ай бұрын

  • The chances of seeing Markiplier angrily walking towards you in a dark alleyway is low, but never zero.

    @ChaseddiHondo@ChaseddiHondo3 жыл бұрын

    • And now he is armed with a taser baton and a whip.

      @miraakthedark8849@miraakthedark88493 жыл бұрын

    • miraak the dark *a t a c t i c a l w h i p*

      @Rahian_El_1@Rahian_El_13 жыл бұрын

    • h

      @johntf2official@johntf2official3 жыл бұрын

    • This has been a psa

      @noneofyourbusiness27@noneofyourbusiness273 жыл бұрын

    • Peace was never an option

      @starkitty66@starkitty663 жыл бұрын

  • "I'm NOT a masochist!" -Mark, literally hundreds of times right before he willing puts himself in pain, as if he was some sort of masochist.

    @jaimebibelot4398@jaimebibelot43983 жыл бұрын

    • "I've always wanted my head to be crushed in between someone's thighs. And I know which part you're thinking, but that's just one of SEVERAL options."

      @TheChordstruckPony@TheChordstruckPony3 жыл бұрын

    • @Jay dude... think for like 2 seconds before you write something. People that are the furthest from a masochist would avoid pain at all cost.

      @enter_feeling6042@enter_feeling60423 жыл бұрын

    • He's not a Masochist.....he just wants to see what he can take

      @FlaschenJoe11@FlaschenJoe113 жыл бұрын

    • @@FlaschenJoe11 on the spectrum of masochist to not masochist he's pretty far in the masochist spectrum

      @enter_feeling6042@enter_feeling60423 жыл бұрын

    • @@enter_feeling6042 dude please, he was obviously being sarcastic

      @aliceh5289@aliceh52893 жыл бұрын

  • mark genuinely thinking that the rape whistle is to.. defean an assaultent instead of alert others is honestly peak comedy.

    @deviantasmr9481@deviantasmr948111 ай бұрын

    • It's not meant to deafen them???

      @0_dearghealach_083@0_dearghealach_083Ай бұрын

    • @@0_dearghealach_083it’s meant to alarm others to get them to help you

      @camuscamel9815@camuscamel981525 күн бұрын

    • 😂

      @Iizzzzzzz@Iizzzzzzz4 күн бұрын

  • I love watching mark struggling to put together a dummy and realizing he went to college for engineering.

    @hina-chan1721@hina-chan17218 ай бұрын

  • Markiplier "i'm not a masochist" Also markiplier "i need a woman who can crush my head between her thighs, it's not sexual it's a power thing"

    @jippo91@jippo913 жыл бұрын

    • What horror has Mark committed to anger out pirate king Monkey D Luffy

      @thetruth7264@thetruth72643 жыл бұрын

    • I need that too, except they have to be anime thighs

      @Pixal_Dragon@Pixal_Dragon3 жыл бұрын

    • DAMN IT YOU STOLE MY JOKE

      @nastyfoxz8021@nastyfoxz80213 жыл бұрын

    • I can't wait to watch his playthrough of RE8, it's gonna be so good.

      @Karlach_@Karlach_3 жыл бұрын

    • That’s not what that word means

      @cameronlikesmilfs3542@cameronlikesmilfs35423 жыл бұрын

  • Every time Markiplier claims he's "not a masochist" it's immediately followed by him getting hurt somehow

    @reformed1trick739@reformed1trick7393 жыл бұрын

    • Omg fucking true can't stop laughing at that

      @joelvz8639@joelvz86393 жыл бұрын

    • "guys, stop calling me a masochist, I'm just testing myself" says as he pours salt into his eyelids "I just wanna know my limits" he lies, sewing sandpaper into his jockstrap "Honestly, the joke needs to die now" comes his voice from an actual Iron Maiden

      @ohheyitsguy@ohheyitsguy3 жыл бұрын

    • As if it was meant to be done

      @amerk5456@amerk54563 жыл бұрын

    • THATS SO TRUE LMAO

      @ZANEKO-@ZANEKO-3 жыл бұрын

    • 999th like

      @tristenarctician6910@tristenarctician69103 жыл бұрын

  • Markiplier was ADHD mode throughout the whole video, this video made me laugh more than I ever did in my life

    @frozenmanfromtheunknown9313@frozenmanfromtheunknown931311 ай бұрын

    • When you forget to take your adderal and have a manic episode and get it on camera

      @baileyelizabethmiles1559@baileyelizabethmiles15596 ай бұрын

  • mark: “ im not a masochist” also mark: “ow this whip hurts real bad” *whips himself again*

    @thislowqualitypillow@thislowqualitypillow9 ай бұрын

    • Just gotta make extra sure

      @selkrasouza6262@selkrasouza62627 ай бұрын

    • @@selkrasouza6262yeah gotta make sure if the whip is hurting you or if your hurting the whip

      @BumbleWick@BumbleWick4 ай бұрын

    • Mark later: this is kinda kinky

      @ladybloodymoon4512@ladybloodymoon45123 ай бұрын

  • What fills me with joy is that steve is apparently shorter than mark which in my eyes would imply that mark is defending himself from a child

    @Srisauccha@Srisauccha3 жыл бұрын

    • All short people are children ✍

      @prettyfunny7616@prettyfunny76163 жыл бұрын

    • so with what i read, short adults don’t exit and are really just children pretending to be adults... makes sense

      @mislaymae@mislaymae3 жыл бұрын

    • Can confirm, we are, in fact children 🤣

      @amandachristensen8189@amandachristensen81893 жыл бұрын

    • Children are scary, OK?

      @-Anemr-@-Anemr-3 жыл бұрын

    • @@prettyfunny7616 as a short person, y e a

      @lillianaa.280@lillianaa.2803 жыл бұрын

  • Mark: “He’s probably not got a lot of electrical resistance on him” Steve: Is rubber

    @reinspartan@reinspartan3 жыл бұрын

    • I just played the video, read your comment and he said it right as I read it

      @amildlydisappointingsalad6058@amildlydisappointingsalad60583 жыл бұрын

    • I said the exact same thing 😂

      @azurejohnstun7976@azurejohnstun79763 жыл бұрын

    • i said the exact same thing

      @llllexllll@llllexllll3 жыл бұрын

    • I was ur 1000 like lol

      @Waylon-Pierce@Waylon-Pierce3 жыл бұрын

    • lol I’ll mo now uio noilio noit’s okthe otheoiin the uuu o myo bo I uo moms momuuuu imiiiiiiouuuuuuuuuno

      @Isa-pe5qp@Isa-pe5qp3 жыл бұрын

  • Mark going through the 5 stages of grief while trying to build Steve is such a mood.

    @graysonallen-vtuber@graysonallen-vtuber Жыл бұрын

  • 17:18 those alarms are actually really great for when you’re walking alone and you need to get attention really quickly if you’re an emergency situation

    @Moonlight_storys@Moonlight_storys Жыл бұрын

  • "YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK...from me...WHO'S PROTECTING HIMSELF...from you! And you're about to be DESTROYED! Except, you have ME on your side!" -Markiplier 2021

    @Sky-hz5sp@Sky-hz5sp3 жыл бұрын

    • Best statement from popular youtuber, Markiplier.

      @xtremethegreatone9775@xtremethegreatone97753 жыл бұрын

    • Bruh

      @rockstarfoxy6381@rockstarfoxy63813 жыл бұрын

    • Yes we watched the video to. We all have ears

      @jadenybrown1070@jadenybrown10703 жыл бұрын

    • @@jadenybrown1070 All good quotes are quoted by other people.

      @Sky-hz5sp@Sky-hz5sp3 жыл бұрын

    • Lmao

      @icebreakerce1942@icebreakerce19423 жыл бұрын

  • Let this be a lesson to anyone willing to attack Mark. You could probably just stand still and Mark will end up hurting himself.

    @NeoMatrix5@NeoMatrix53 жыл бұрын

    • You right

      @iceninja1997@iceninja19973 жыл бұрын

    • Well yeah but who would even slightly want to hurt mark

      @TacitusKilgore347@TacitusKilgore3473 жыл бұрын

    • this had me dying and rotting on the floor

      @mewmewmofo@mewmewmofo3 жыл бұрын

    • Self offence

      @SA-gl1ri@SA-gl1ri3 жыл бұрын

    • @@SA-gl1ri brilliant

      @krisdoesart9643@krisdoesart96433 жыл бұрын

  • 2:14 “DYSLEXIA OVERLOAD” *Me, bursting out laughing in the corner of the room.*

    @epgchannel@epgchannel5 ай бұрын

  • 29:07 After watching Hard2Hurt, I realize that Mark does NOT know how to fight. The tacticle whip is easily the best self defense tool in this lineup. The flashlight baton they chose has many issues, as it can easily be grabbed by the aggressor, very obvious you have it, seems rather difficult to activate the taser aspect (Especially under pressure of a real fight), and Mark doesn't even really test how blinding the light aspect is. I also noticed how Mark didn't follow through with their strikes using the tacticle whip. It doesn't bounce back if you FOLLOW THROUGH, and that also amplifies the damage! Not to mention people can't really grab it too well in terms of leverage due to the pliable nature of a whip. And you can SWITCH to lethality by using that sharp tip of the handle in close range.

    @CusheeFoofee@CusheeFoofeeАй бұрын

  • I keep remembering Sean saying about mark “I can’t tell if he’s a genius or an idiot”

    @jojol.2630@jojol.26303 жыл бұрын

    • Lol and both wade and ethan have told him something along the lines of “youre the smartest dumb person i know”

      @macncheesy0548@macncheesy05483 жыл бұрын

    • The answer is "Both? Both. BOTH. Both is good."

      @Restilia_ch@Restilia_ch3 жыл бұрын

    • Idiotic genius

      @altsc@altsc3 жыл бұрын

    • Its spelled SEÁN

      @kar3n1nblack77@kar3n1nblack773 жыл бұрын

    • Lol im joking

      @kar3n1nblack77@kar3n1nblack773 жыл бұрын

  • this feels like mark kidnapped us and is showing us how not to get kidnapped next time but he's not very experienced

    @saltytooth4u@saltytooth4u2 жыл бұрын

    • AGREED

      @frogselle0fficial233@frogselle0fficial2332 жыл бұрын

    • i think in a way most of his videos feel like that

      @the.kazzie@the.kazzie2 жыл бұрын

    • I- yes

      @dewdebew@dewdebew2 жыл бұрын

    • LMAO

      @HappyMatt12345@HappyMatt123452 жыл бұрын

    • It's tough love

      @Davybackdead@Davybackdead2 жыл бұрын

  • Imagine trying to attack Markiplier and he just pulls out a whip and starts smacking you to death lol

    @FireForgedTitanium@FireForgedTitanium11 ай бұрын

    • I would thank him as I die

      @mossycrown@mossycrown9 ай бұрын

  • “IMMA NA DIEEEEE IMMMMM GOINGGGGG TOOOOOO DIEEEEEEEEE” was majestic 20:06

    @makerofeditsmov@makerofeditsmov11 ай бұрын

  • "Don't try this at home" *is trying it at home* "Be careful" *hits himself with the tactical whip*

    @katiaeisel5005@katiaeisel50052 жыл бұрын

    • I WILL try at home

      @nicolea2839@nicolea28392 жыл бұрын

    • "people might mistake me for some kind of a masochist..."

      @halzion@halzion2 жыл бұрын

    • But then people might mistake him for some sort of masochist

      @goldenyam3010@goldenyam30102 жыл бұрын

    • "Do as I say, Not as I do" I guess

      @lvbboi9@lvbboi92 жыл бұрын

    • I was reading comments and then he hits him self with whip

      @ArthurMorganTheGOAT@ArthurMorganTheGOAT2 жыл бұрын

  • Sometimes it hits me occasionally, to think this is the same guy who comforted my crying sister at a comicon once upon a time.

    @blacksaphire7773@blacksaphire77733 жыл бұрын

    • Aw that’s cute

      @user-rm9lg1zc7o@user-rm9lg1zc7o3 жыл бұрын

    • 👌👌👌

      @memesifoundinmybasement311@memesifoundinmybasement3113 жыл бұрын

    • I wanna like but I don’t wanna ruin the 69 likes

      @greypug7769@greypug77693 жыл бұрын

    • @@greypug7769 too late

      @thehalobro9622@thehalobro96223 жыл бұрын

    • But you got to love the guy, he is funny about it

      @videosongsable@videosongsable3 жыл бұрын

  • I love how Mark is like “I’m not going to use these on myself. I’m not a masochist.” And lixian disproves that statement almost immediately 😂😂😂😂

    @kimichan8981@kimichan8981 Жыл бұрын

  • "You're in a peculiar situation of having too much money." Can't relate.

    @dylancastellanos87@dylancastellanos8710 ай бұрын

  • I don’t think Mark has interacted with another human being in a while.

    @sarahdixon2282@sarahdixon22823 жыл бұрын

    • There's only Steve. And Steve ain't exactly whole.

      @aserta@aserta3 жыл бұрын

    • well besides amy

      @graciedowning566@graciedowning5663 жыл бұрын

    • @@graciedowning566 remeber Amy is robot

      @airsickspace9272@airsickspace92723 жыл бұрын

    • Considering the last time he interacted with an actual human being said human died. (You know if you know, if you don't, that's fine. A year flies fast.)

      @mat8791@mat87913 жыл бұрын

    • @@mat8791 what?

      @SG-pu3rx@SG-pu3rx3 жыл бұрын

  • HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM MARKIPLIER: stand still. He’ll probably just get himself hurt.

    @jimmyjamjangles695@jimmyjamjangles6952 жыл бұрын

    • Yep

      @makingvideosforyou647@makingvideosforyou6472 жыл бұрын

    • HA-

      @Emma-if5er@Emma-if5er2 жыл бұрын

    • step away from the splash zone first, otherwise he might hit you too

      @decentlysmartforanidiot8284@decentlysmartforanidiot82842 жыл бұрын

    • Yes

      @theblade9394@theblade93942 жыл бұрын

    • True

      @xuo6814@xuo68142 жыл бұрын

  • 14:47 *rattles of list* "I'm not going to remember any of those" Relatable

    @spencercox8571@spencercox85713 ай бұрын

  • "You're under attack from me! Who's protecting myself from you!"

    @ariannaturkstra@ariannaturkstraАй бұрын

  • “If I get a discount on ending someone’s life, you know I’m gonna take that chance.” -Markiplier 2021

    @peepoHappyy@peepoHappyy3 жыл бұрын

    • Markiplier, ending lives at a discount

      @wolfenwingsable@wolfenwingsable3 жыл бұрын

    • I heard him say that right as read that, absolutely perfect timing

      @d.v.5613@d.v.56133 жыл бұрын

    • Hand to hand combat. An optionally free way to kill someone.

      @minerxen@minerxen3 жыл бұрын

  • So I'm being attacked by Mark because mark is defending himself from attacking me but luckily i have mark on my side. Seems legit

    @sfnluc1d744@sfnluc1d7442 жыл бұрын

    • hes fighting me and himself

      @Alexander_productions@Alexander_productions2 жыл бұрын

    • @@Alexander_productions from himself

      @phoebusapollo8365@phoebusapollo83652 жыл бұрын

    • @@phoebusapollo8365 With himself.

      @Place_Your_Order_Here@Place_Your_Order_Here2 жыл бұрын

    • @@Place_Your_Order_Here for himself

      @gault6546@gault65462 жыл бұрын

    • @@gault6546 by himself

      @thereebstir9572@thereebstir95722 жыл бұрын

  • "today we are going to test non lethal options of self defense items" *Pulls out a mini-axe with ten sharpened butt plugs*

    @igorusz5747@igorusz5747Ай бұрын

  • The Ham-axe-ench multitool actually does serve one potential useful purpose in self defense: It looks like a tiny hatchet in the dark. Hold it up and charge at your attacker while screaming. If they have any sense, they'll think you look insane and will run away.

    @turtlemun@turtlemun2 ай бұрын

  • Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Also mark: "Tactical whip."

    @ethanhunter1567@ethanhunter15673 жыл бұрын

    • "Attract a mate" lol

      @yawntube9962@yawntube99623 жыл бұрын

    • the comment right under says the same thing the same thing-

      @TryNotToLie@TryNotToLie3 жыл бұрын

    • "He likes his ass the way it is"

      @ayefu@ayefu3 жыл бұрын

    • Noice

      @8-ball350@8-ball3503 жыл бұрын

    • What are you doing here???..go hunt crankgameplays or something

      @icyhot8167@icyhot81673 жыл бұрын

  • Markiplier: People might mistake me for some kind of masochist. The people of a certain one year channel: Stop lying to yourself Mark...

    @connorclemmons8698@connorclemmons86983 жыл бұрын

    • Memento mori.

      @iwuvsmybeanie@iwuvsmybeanie3 жыл бұрын

    • I did not go through one year of that for Mark to still be in denial-💀

      @strawhatsmanager@strawhatsmanager3 жыл бұрын

    • memento mori🦴

      @fin5657@fin56573 жыл бұрын

    • Do you mean [REDACTED]?

      @neonbunnies9596@neonbunnies95963 жыл бұрын

    • Unnus Annus unnus annus UNNUS Annus UNNUS ANNUS UNNUS ANNUS

      @phoebusapollo9269@phoebusapollo92693 жыл бұрын

  • The noise thing actually seems useful for SA resistance. I would still recommend carrying a weapon as well in case the attacker isn't discouraged. (pepper spray, tazer, etc.)

    @aidancfv9919@aidancfv991910 ай бұрын

  • This is literally on the top of my list of videos that make me laugh every time! Mark has literally pulled me out of depression countless times. With Mark tries, Mark’s mom, Unus Anus, Try not to Laugh and so many more he never fails to cheer me up when I’m down.

    @pearlmarley3833@pearlmarley38336 ай бұрын

  • Did you just... test that on your broken foot?

    @OneTopic@OneTopic3 жыл бұрын

    • OT? It's so cool to see ya here!

      @anantkerur557@anantkerur5573 жыл бұрын

    • PLZZZZ

      @beabrooks8402@beabrooks84023 жыл бұрын

    • Omg Topicy wapiky

      @Luna-xb9zn@Luna-xb9zn3 жыл бұрын

    • what happend to his broken foot? hes walking on it just fine..

      @Dengen88@Dengen883 жыл бұрын

    • Who is that?

      @lunatico230ify@lunatico230ify3 жыл бұрын

  • Mark: "I'm not a masochist." Also mark: hates manaquins (buys one), whips himself, flogs himself with a wallet, plays with a knife (scaring himself in the process), and stabs his hand with a spike.

    @vladedin3024@vladedin30243 жыл бұрын

    • That's just pushing the limits of his own body.

      @gamepapa1211@gamepapa12113 жыл бұрын

    • @@gamepapa1211 This is what it means to go even further beyond.

      @grewleo@grewleo3 жыл бұрын

    • Every masochist

      @the_moon_gazer@the_moon_gazer3 жыл бұрын

    • And also gets into the hospital alot

      @JUN0100@JUN01003 жыл бұрын

    • *pain is our speciality*

      @carlover_1298@carlover_12983 жыл бұрын

  • When he said “IM GOING TOOOOOO DIEEEEEEE” I honestly vibed to that

    @Agueybana1978@Agueybana1978Ай бұрын

  • So how did you die? Person: car crash. Another person: cancer Markiplier: in perfect tune bro. In perfect tune

    @ghostthegay9223@ghostthegay9223 Жыл бұрын

  • Imagine breaking into a home and just hearing "Amazon self defense activated"

    @paca7429@paca74293 жыл бұрын

    • Alexa, destroy the intruder.

      @lilbluridinghood6296@lilbluridinghood62963 жыл бұрын

    • 😭

      @dandandydan@dandandydan3 жыл бұрын

    • Alexa, launch the nuke

      @ieatcrayonsforbreakfast7887@ieatcrayonsforbreakfast78873 жыл бұрын

    • Alexa, we need guns

      @anotherdaytobetheslayer7091@anotherdaytobetheslayer70913 жыл бұрын

    • Alexa, deploy the knife-wielding roombas.

      @ReddyRAD@ReddyRAD3 жыл бұрын

  • Alternative Title: I’m a man who owns five ovens, several tactical shovels and now self defense weapons

    @leosydlik4271@leosydlik42713 жыл бұрын

    • A true king honestly

      @reap3514@reap35143 жыл бұрын

    • Don’t forget the inordinate amount of sex toys he bought as a business expense 😆

      @vampirevenus4816@vampirevenus48163 жыл бұрын

    • And the most powerful handheld flashlight on the planet.

      @joelmichaelviado1226@joelmichaelviado12263 жыл бұрын

    • And an ass load of poptarts

      @cudydaze79@cudydaze793 жыл бұрын

    • Take my like

      @AtomBrown69@AtomBrown693 жыл бұрын

  • Mark:I'm NOT a masochist Also mark:*almost broke a window*

    @user-xc6lc6vu9y@user-xc6lc6vu9y4 ай бұрын

  • If Markiplier has an electric baton he is gonna end the world as we know it.

    @radioactivepoptart99@radioactivepoptart9910 ай бұрын

  • Guys, he's not a sadist. He just wants to see how far he can push Steve's body.

    @krampus9376@krampus93763 жыл бұрын

    • Lol, ur Runa pfp is pog

      @Jimmysmum069@Jimmysmum0693 жыл бұрын

    • He’s paid you to say that, hasn’t he?

      @superqmod696@superqmod6963 жыл бұрын

    • steve approves this message

      @scarychy8729@scarychy87293 жыл бұрын

    • @@superqmod696 he dont pay people lest its for items

      @kyutogreywolf4292@kyutogreywolf42923 жыл бұрын

    • @@kyutogreywolf4292 one would hope he pays his editor as well

      @biscuit3456@biscuit34563 жыл бұрын

  • “You gotta keep your count aselfable” fav quote

    @moonbunny1015@moonbunny10155 ай бұрын

  • I love how he’s still trying to defend him not being a masochist

    @soupysoup5104@soupysoup51043 жыл бұрын

    • Non masochist topic Markiplier: I'm NoT A mAsOcHiSt

      @sensational7335@sensational73353 жыл бұрын

    • *proceeds to whip himself*

      @micahrose303@micahrose3033 жыл бұрын

    • A battle no one can win

      @TaeyonRose@TaeyonRose3 жыл бұрын

    • That's the best self-defense

      @TheTrueDoomSlayer@TheTrueDoomSlayer3 жыл бұрын

  • mark’s not a masochist, he just wants to test the maximum of his self defense

    @kronnorkronnor@kronnorkronnor3 жыл бұрын

    • xd

      @DyslexicMitochondria@DyslexicMitochondria3 жыл бұрын

    • Just wants to test his limits

      @hammyhamster229@hammyhamster2293 жыл бұрын

    • that's what a masochist would said 😂😂

      @rimuruains3601@rimuruains36013 жыл бұрын

    • He's minmaxing his defense stat by putting himself through trials and training

      @Ori_nament@Ori_nament3 жыл бұрын

    • Marks next video: I went to the hospital cause I broke my ass.

      @snipershot6014@snipershot60143 жыл бұрын

  • 12:19 when he is talking about the “whip ability” I just imagined the song let it whip specifically when the Treblemackers sing it

    @amarawright7796@amarawright7796Ай бұрын

  • 4:20 Mark - Steve say hi Steve - help 😂

    @GreenFishYT@GreenFishYT Жыл бұрын

  • Mark: “You see me, coming at you, really fast with anger on my face.” Me: Hee hoo?

    @loveforalwaysandforever7178@loveforalwaysandforever71783 жыл бұрын

    • The wrestling video

      @PixelSageYT@PixelSageYT3 жыл бұрын

  • what i understand from this video: - you need to deal a mixt of physical and magic damage to robbers otherwise it will not be effective - markiplier is a masochist

    @DenisEinzbern@DenisEinzbern2 жыл бұрын

    • @very_cool It was a joke, I think.

      @randomguy8092@randomguy80922 жыл бұрын

    • *Do you want to have a bad time?

      @gos358@gos3582 жыл бұрын

    • nonono you don't get it, he isn't a masochist, he just wants to see how much pain he can handle!

      @TheoStarlight@TheoStarlight2 жыл бұрын

    • @@TheoStarlight oooohh yes of course

      @froggy3203@froggy32032 жыл бұрын

    • @@TheoStarlight ahhh you're right! 💀

      @MrRose41@MrRose412 жыл бұрын

  • The tactical pen has a real window breaker on it, while the stabby aluminum won’t break a window nearly as well because it is aluminum and not iron tip. The aluminum one works better just to stab and run while the tactical pen as a window breaker. Video is great.

    @sponge_5094@sponge_5094 Жыл бұрын

  • I love that right after he says im not gonna test the weapons on myself he proceeds to hit himself with steve mate really forgot that people might mistake him for a masochist

    @Ethan-op6sh@Ethan-op6sh4 ай бұрын

  • It’s a competition... Mark: rates takis Ethan: rates fries Mark: *pissed* .. rates self defence tools

    @aaa.-.6831@aaa.-.68313 жыл бұрын

    • And it's def. the most useful.

      @paulinaderegowska4757@paulinaderegowska47573 жыл бұрын

    • @@paulinaderegowska4757 I don’t know the talkies video was very informative

      @aaa.-.6831@aaa.-.68313 жыл бұрын

    • Its deleted channel,,, from a distance

      @prynxeofdarkness@prynxeofdarkness3 жыл бұрын

    • I didn’t realize I wrote friends not fried until now omfg I wrote this half hour ago

      @aaa.-.6831@aaa.-.68313 жыл бұрын

    • Just give me an entrenching shovel and I'm good

      @TravelerZ24@TravelerZ243 жыл бұрын

  • Alternate title: mark definitely not proving that he 100% isn’t a masochist

    @riahtrinity1168@riahtrinity11683 жыл бұрын

    • Markiplier should try every peep flavor

      @cassper2020@cassper20203 жыл бұрын

    • Boooo

      @GamerPro-wd7eh@GamerPro-wd7eh3 жыл бұрын

    • @@GamerPro-wd7eh alright fine lol

      @riahtrinity1168@riahtrinity11683 жыл бұрын

    • or Mark not knowing how to use self defense tools

      @littlestar5830@littlestar58303 жыл бұрын

    • Not only can you hurt yourself with the spike, you can also shrexualy arouse yourself

      @truebluebloodylegend7925@truebluebloodylegend79252 жыл бұрын

  • You can see how close the intrusive thoughts are to winning when he almost takes The Stinger to the window

    @chelseabellman2779@chelseabellman2779 Жыл бұрын

  • 24:18 I was laying in bed, about to fall asleep, and the balloon popping startled me awake 😂

    @OK-Cubing@OK-Cubing10 ай бұрын

  • The public: Why does Mark go to the hospital so much? Mark: Records himself showing off cheap self defense weapons and pointing a taser at his face.

    @kikidoesitall@kikidoesitall3 жыл бұрын

    • Mark is the real life equivalent of Luke shining the lightsaber to his face

      @charlie1296@charlie12962 жыл бұрын

  • Mark: "It's a tactical PEN" Me: "Alright, calm down Percy Jackson"

    @ronvanawesome3281@ronvanawesome32813 жыл бұрын

    • @Clara Hoffman It's just too perfect! The flash light isn't even that good, like the faint glow of the celestial bronze. And being a pen is only its secondary use!

      @ronvanawesome3281@ronvanawesome32813 жыл бұрын

    • YES

      @richtyty9416@richtyty94163 жыл бұрын

    • Noice👌🏽

      @moonthehuman@moonthehuman3 жыл бұрын

    • That is a 10 out of 10 comment

      @aidenluong4634@aidenluong46343 жыл бұрын

    • I have found my people

      @prince_damien_of_darkness@prince_damien_of_darkness3 жыл бұрын

  • I like how it went from non deadly to staving in the eyes

    @Grey_pole@Grey_pole2 ай бұрын

  • 15:48 Those things are commonly used here in Japan too. Very useful. When you're being targeted or attacked, you pull the pin and then throw it. The attacker would usually go for the alarm since it's out and attracts people. That's when you run away

    @kitsune4583@kitsune45836 ай бұрын

  • I was honestly waiting for mark to be like “why isn’t this working” *tases himself*

    @NightOfTheRevolution@NightOfTheRevolution3 жыл бұрын

    • same

      @kellybaden2677@kellybaden26773 жыл бұрын

    • Same

      @richtyty9416@richtyty94163 жыл бұрын

    • Same

      @romanpearce3949@romanpearce39493 жыл бұрын

    • Oh my god that would’ve been hilarious

      @michellepr84@michellepr843 жыл бұрын

    • I was so sure that's what was gonna happen 😭

      @lunaqxii981@lunaqxii9812 жыл бұрын

  • My unkempt quarantine hairdo: Stranded on a desert island Markiplier's quarantine hairdo: Tortured artist spiraling into insanity as he completes his ultimate work

    @JK-zd3md@JK-zd3md3 жыл бұрын

    • So Mark looks like he's from Layers of Fear?

      @DolusVulpes@DolusVulpes3 жыл бұрын

    • @@DolusVulpes no he’s Amazon Keanu Reeves this has been established

      @hxneyedbellsss@hxneyedbellsss3 жыл бұрын

    • @@hxneyedbellsss no... almost correct... but he's more like Amazon Reanu Keeves... there's a big difference

      @nomasan@nomasan3 жыл бұрын

    • Dollar tree Keanu reeves but with 0.1% more swear words

      @landroverrangeroversporths2569@landroverrangeroversporths25693 жыл бұрын

    • @@hxneyedbellsss Amazon Reeves?

      @altsc@altsc3 жыл бұрын

  • 20:08 are we gonna talk about how clean that was tho

    @mylinglivetv@mylinglivetv6 ай бұрын

  • you know the best part about this is not the actual review but mark attempting to assemble the damn dummy 🤣

    @choccowilk@choccowilk3 ай бұрын

  • If mark was charging at me in a dark alley I'd just accept my fate, there is nothing I can do to prevent my inevitable demise at the hands of such an unstoppable man

    @darobash@darobash3 жыл бұрын

    • same

      @sierrastevens7@sierrastevens73 жыл бұрын

    • Yeah, i mean, just look at him. *_4 feet of pure manly rage._*

      @Volvith@Volvith3 жыл бұрын

    • Reject self defense, return to HeeHoo

      @IncarnateSable@IncarnateSable3 жыл бұрын

    • Lol, true, sounds like something out of a horror game.

      @karmaakabane8261@karmaakabane82613 жыл бұрын

    • Aim for the feet! They're his only weaknesses!

      @everythingkumo1041@everythingkumo10413 жыл бұрын

  • I imagine if a thief broke into Mark’s house, it would be several minutes of them trying to harm or steal from mark, who is defending himself with an assortment of devices ranging from questionable to outright stupid. Eventually the thief just says ‘you know what, fuck this” and leaves.

    @ClonedGamer001@ClonedGamer0013 жыл бұрын

    • John wick but infinitely more dumb shit

      @Foreverglow1129@Foreverglow11293 жыл бұрын

    • Thief breaks into my house, and they'll get a free lead injection.

      @Nurse_Xochitl@Nurse_Xochitl3 жыл бұрын

    • @@Foreverglow1129 I'd watch that movie.

      @dawubber6676@dawubber66763 жыл бұрын

    • I can definitely imagine that

      @TaeyonRose@TaeyonRose3 жыл бұрын

    • He'd use the dummy's head

      @potat04@potat043 жыл бұрын

  • the "screechers" as i call them are more of an alarm for other people if your getting taken or robbed than a self defense tool. That's why they come out so easily

    @ThatDigitalDemon@ThatDigitalDemon9 ай бұрын

  • "he probably doesn't have a lot of electrical resistance on him" Literally made of condoms

    @glue3850@glue38503 ай бұрын

  • Everybody: “Mark’s a masochist.” Mark: *There is no war in Ba Sing Se*

    @slamduncan3376@slamduncan33763 жыл бұрын

    • I was literally about to type this exact comment

      @santiagotafoya7906@santiagotafoya79063 жыл бұрын

    • Facts

      @Chelseyanne8@Chelseyanne83 жыл бұрын

    • @Deceased_ he probably watched it 2 hours after that person commented and then found the comment 💀

      @TheRoganExperiencexx@TheRoganExperiencexx3 жыл бұрын

    • @Deceased_ you're not smart

      @thisispissingmeoffroyally428@thisispissingmeoffroyally4283 жыл бұрын

    • @Deceased_ and that makes sense how?😂

      @santiagotafoya7906@santiagotafoya79063 жыл бұрын

  • Mark: “I’m not a masochist” Also Mark: *interested in situational use of the “tactical whip”*

    @mangotheproto4714@mangotheproto47143 жыл бұрын

    • Oh that’s people buy when they can’t find the tactical shovel

      @reenamiller4489@reenamiller44893 жыл бұрын

  • 11:50 brain quickly kicks in

    @Walleyedwosaik@Walleyedwosaik4 ай бұрын

  • The collapsable staff at 27:48 looks like a light saber

    @tuna1000@tuna1000 Жыл бұрын

  • It's midnight, you're in an alley. You see Markiplier running at you, anger in his face. You aren't intimidated. Roll for laugh chance.

    @redacteddata@redacteddata3 жыл бұрын

    • *rolls

      @JL-iw6pq@JL-iw6pq3 жыл бұрын

    • I got a 1... I think I might be doomed

      @killuazoldyck7442@killuazoldyck74423 жыл бұрын

    • I rolled a 14.

      @twelve1738@twelve17383 жыл бұрын

    • Ehh I got an 18

      @witchhazel4443@witchhazel44433 жыл бұрын

    • I got a Nat 29

      @totallyahumancalled_evan1097@totallyahumancalled_evan10973 жыл бұрын

  • Mark isn't a masochist, he's just testing out his pain tolerance

    @cvsp.c@cvsp.c3 жыл бұрын

    • Hmm, sounds like something a masochist would say

      @AtomBrown69@AtomBrown693 жыл бұрын

    • Sure, you can tell yourself that, but we all know the real reason he's inflicting pain on himself

      @whelli9226@whelli92263 жыл бұрын

    • @@whelli9226 he's trying to get the thrill from unus annus again

      @EpicMuttonChops@EpicMuttonChops3 жыл бұрын

    • @@whelli9226 It's a joke, you know that right?

      @cvsp.c@cvsp.c3 жыл бұрын

    • It's only masochism if you like it hahaha

      @YaBigGaymo@YaBigGaymo3 жыл бұрын

  • 2:16 self defense tip: Do not go in dark alleys, problem solved congratulations.

    @IamLeah104@IamLeah1049 ай бұрын

  • I’m sorry but the line “you gotta keep yourcount aselfable” had me cracking up. Ps: I think he forgot to pop up the little thing to blow up the tough guy.

    @fireburst2078@fireburst207810 ай бұрын

  • Markiplier 2021: “People might mistake me for some kind of masochist. Which isn’t true.” Mark on Unus Annus 2020: “Is there a high score I can break for the number of needles you can stick in me....?”

    @leobasketcase2986@leobasketcase29863 жыл бұрын

    • ☠☠☠

      @belladavis2311@belladavis23113 жыл бұрын

    • Oh yea! I remember [REDACTED]. What a wonderful time!

      @k0re673@k0re6733 жыл бұрын

    • @@k0re673 what anime is ur pfp from

      @keiraharding3071@keiraharding30713 жыл бұрын

    • *Lightly slaps the dummy with whip* Mark: you close? you close?

      @lexispark9332@lexispark93323 жыл бұрын

    • Oh my

      @insanitymagic353@insanitymagic3533 жыл бұрын

  • Mark would be the one Jedi to impale himself with his own lightsaber.

    @kingovflesh@kingovflesh3 жыл бұрын

    • Except he would do it on purpose, just to test his limits, not because he's a masochist- he's not masochist- he just wants to see if he can take it.

      @jjmar3875@jjmar38753 жыл бұрын

    • Yeah, either on accident, or because he "wants to see if he can take it" :'D

      @TheJege12@TheJege123 жыл бұрын

    • He would try to impale himself on a non-vital organ too. Just to then see if he can use the force to heal himself.

      @seriasbaconluv@seriasbaconluv3 жыл бұрын

    • When Darth Vader told Mark I am your father Mark replied with: Choke me daddy.

      @pierrelemagnifique205@pierrelemagnifique2053 жыл бұрын

    • @@pierrelemagnifique205 XD

      @midokankaito@midokankaito3 жыл бұрын

  • 3:35 French revolution all over again 😂

    @IanSmentowski@IanSmentowski5 ай бұрын

  • Him almost testing the window on his own window killed me

    @Darksk1ngothgf@Darksk1ngothgf8 ай бұрын

  • “PeOpLe mIgHt mIsTaKe Me FoR a M a S o C h I s T” oh no good sir, there’s no mistake.

    @leahmarcum4541@leahmarcum45413 жыл бұрын

    • lol ikr

      @calebcraft8190@calebcraft81903 жыл бұрын

    • Definitely no mistake. Unus Annus proved that lol.

      @Basstez@Basstez3 жыл бұрын

    • @@Basstez what is **** ****, never heard of that before

      @infamouseneet3992@infamouseneet39923 жыл бұрын

    • @@infamouseneet3992 Had to be there.

      @Basstez@Basstez3 жыл бұрын

    • @@infamouseneet3992 just had to be there buddy, you wouldnt understand

      @lucywilson6075@lucywilson60753 жыл бұрын

  • “People would think I’m a masochist.” Unus Annus fans: *chuckles in remembrance*

    @redheadz8355@redheadz83553 жыл бұрын

    • Unus annus? What's that, it sounds familiar but is it some small channel or something? ... ... ... ... ...

      @nyawul@nyawul3 жыл бұрын

    • @@nyawul Yeah, I feel like I've heard that name before. But it's vague. I can remember where I heard it.

      @rebelgaming1.5.14@rebelgaming1.5.143 жыл бұрын

    • @@rebelgaming1.5.14 too bad you didnt know unnus anus

      @kakyoin5713@kakyoin57133 жыл бұрын

    • @@kakyoin5713 can you tell me the video? I'm literally trying to remember

      @mimegaming3444@mimegaming34443 жыл бұрын

    • @@mimegaming3444 one was brick soccer

      @royal_legend6248@royal_legend62483 жыл бұрын

  • I used to feel bad about being dyslexic, but after this video, I’m glad to say I’m happy to be a happy problem

    @chrisome1982@chrisome19827 ай бұрын

  • What made people think those pop out canes are a self defence thing? They’re a magicians cane, it’s literally just a magic trick, it can maybe hurt you if you fuck up whilst deploying it cause the metal can be a little sharp but it’s literally thin aluminium

    @weirdo337@weirdo3375 ай бұрын

  • "You're under attack from me, who's protecting himself from you, and you're about to be destroyed, exept ...you've got me on your side" ... I can already tell this is going to be a great video

    @Va11ha11a@Va11ha11a2 жыл бұрын

    • I wanted to be the 1st person to comment on this comment

      @Daughter.of.Samyaza@Daughter.of.Samyaza2 жыл бұрын

    • "Big mama jamba"

      @cassie4131@cassie41312 жыл бұрын

    • I like how this bit of silly nonsense he said kinda perfectly describes the relationship between his engineer Mark and Captain characters from in space with Markiplier. Fuckin Captain I trust you but I gotta kick your ass for the greater good, lmao

      @HappyElsen@HappyElsen Жыл бұрын

    • UwU

      @localareakobold9108@localareakobold9108 Жыл бұрын

    • you're* kiddo gg ez

      @seynpurrp@seynpurrp Жыл бұрын

  • Alternative Title: Unsupervised Hyperactive Man-Child Plays With Potentially Dangerous (Discounted) Weapons

    @panzerspark1379@panzerspark13793 жыл бұрын

    • alternative title: man with 3 y.o mentality (and hurts himself) tests discounted self defense mechanisms

      @actually6863@actually68633 жыл бұрын

  • You gotta love Mark for testing and approving Amazon self-defence weapons for the safety of the viewers, The True King Of Fnaf and KZhead!

    @Shadow_Sprinbonnie@Shadow_Sprinbonnie9 ай бұрын

  • I love how the entire first quarter of the video went wrong in every way possible

    @elirayzor@elirayzor6 ай бұрын

  • Markipliers catchphrase is slowly becoming "I'm not a masochist"

    @hudsongarwood7218@hudsongarwood72183 жыл бұрын

    • Unus Annus said otherwise.

      @jakomioftherose2434@jakomioftherose24343 жыл бұрын

    • @@jakomioftherose2434 *Unus Annus? wHaTs tHaT?* (please dont take it for real XD)

      @Cloud24774@Cloud247743 жыл бұрын

    • I mean Unnus Annus died, kinda. So it would seem right for his catchphrase to change lol.

      @camelmanguy9181@camelmanguy91813 жыл бұрын

    • "Hello everybody, I'm not a masochist, and welcome to..."

      @vakuArt@vakuArt3 жыл бұрын

    • Lol

      @camelmanguy9181@camelmanguy91813 жыл бұрын

  • "can't get Steve off" It's OK Markiplier, everyone's needs are different

    @dergderg1471@dergderg14713 жыл бұрын

    • Thats what she said

      @wherecanyoubemylove@wherecanyoubemylove3 жыл бұрын

    • Minecraft Steve

      @DueNorthGaming@DueNorthGaming3 жыл бұрын

    • "Let me go down on him"

      @bertoandon9681@bertoandon96813 жыл бұрын

    • XD

      @iam_crumb@iam_crumb3 жыл бұрын

    • All I need for defence is a twisted tea🥵🥵

      @tannerlheureux4164@tannerlheureux41643 жыл бұрын

  • 20:35 he he he he

    @thesansthatasked@thesansthatasked Жыл бұрын

    • Profile pic checks out 😂

      @the_bob_147@the_bob_14710 ай бұрын

    • [Undertale talking noise intensifies]

      @Wutsizbukkit@Wutsizbukkit10 ай бұрын

    • Bur ur urp

      @PopVR-qj3ns@PopVR-qj3ns12 күн бұрын

  • i love how all of those self defense weapons can also be used for evil

    @mahefaboulanger6029@mahefaboulanger6029 Жыл бұрын

  • Mark is like a child trapped in a mans body, that’s what makes him so great

    @PromptKarma@PromptKarma3 жыл бұрын

    • True

      @blurryface5281@blurryface52813 жыл бұрын

    • Can’t really see that to be honest

      @jp-zp3ds@jp-zp3ds3 жыл бұрын

    • Nah he's just a happy man

      @takahariyt4595@takahariyt45953 жыл бұрын

    • If we can see the beauty in a man child we can truly see and appreciate the worlds best people

      @DeadEyes63@DeadEyes633 жыл бұрын

    • he is

      @Vyclops@Vyclops3 жыл бұрын

  • "You're under attack from me, who is protecting himself from you. You're about to get destroyed, except, you've got me on your side." - Markiplier Logic 2021

    @timfangrad5173@timfangrad51733 жыл бұрын

    • It's only logical to listen to it

      @angelcat2865@angelcat28653 жыл бұрын

    • Now this was awesome!

      @PSVitaat2am@PSVitaat2am3 жыл бұрын

    • I want this on a coffee mug

      @ltstarbrite@ltstarbrite3 жыл бұрын

    • @@ltstarbrite Yes!

      @timfangrad5173@timfangrad51733 жыл бұрын

    • This should be on a shirt..lol

      @rahmat4848@rahmat48483 жыл бұрын
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