6 Historical Hangovers Making Us Miserable Today
When trying to understand why we might be feeling unhappy, we tend to be drawn to reasons relatively close to home: it might have to do with friends, relationships, health, jobs, families or schedules. What we tend not to do, however, is to start talking about our place in history; it would sound overblown or plain bizarre to begin to pin a sizeable share of our difficulties to broad historical and sociological forces.
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“When trying to understand why we might be feeling unhappy, we tend to be drawn to reasons relatively close to home: it might have to do with friends, relationships, health, jobs, families or schedules. What we tend not to do, however, is to start talking about our place in history; it would sound overblown or plain bizarre to begin to pin a sizeable share of our difficulties to broad historical and sociological forces. Yet whatever role our psyches and our families and colleagues might be playing in our moods, a proper understanding of our situation cannot be complete without consideration of the highly peculiar and novel era in which we exist. We are troubled in part because we dwell in highly unbalanced times…”
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
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Title animation produced in collaboration with
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There was an article within the last year or two that said "The average social media user receives more information in one day than their ancestors 100 years ago did in their entire lifetime." We are in a different reality than our ancestors and we should be more forgiving to ourselves for being able to handle the faster paced reality.
Good point.
There was another article I saw what said I Don give a f****
@@spennny1000 Obviously you did GAF or you wouldn't have left a comment. And another point you bring up, our ancestors dealt with people face to face. You wouldn't be able to hide behind a cheesy username with the gift of distance talking your trash.
@@erinsuzy613 some new research has been done actually at the University of texas and the study clearly shows that people between 16 and 56 who where followed for 10 years in the biggest study on personal value ever conducted by an independent company and it shows that when asked 90% of the individuals genuinely don't give a flying **** about your stupid post 😂
@@spennny1000 It's actually a stupid joke, I didn't laugh. What's interesting is that of all the 136 people who saw this, you are the most engaged in the post you claim to not care about.
"A desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want"
Wise words
Ooooh... I know exactly who I'm gonna use that line on later on
@@Johnstone565The mirror?
@@dstigers6140 ... absolutely
You will still be unhappy even when you get what you want
This is quite possibly the most validating explanation of my depression that I have ever heard.
And yet, the ideas shared in this video; aren't novel.
Try Johann Hari, Gabor Mate and Yuval Noah Harari. Hari is an English journalist, Mate is a Hungarian-Canadian world renowned expert on addiction and trauma with a compelling background. I would call Harari a historian - he is Isreali - he also has his hand on the pulse of the past AND the future of humanity. All three have unique and interesting perspectives that opened my eyes. I also learn something new every time I listen to this narrator - Alain De Botton. FYI -- I got 30 years of depression behind me. 55-yrs-old. Still working on it.... BUT.... I did find all of the pieces. I was doing great for a few weeks.... then I got sick, my husband passed (we were separated, but I'm still devasted), and..... self-care went out the window. The good news is I'm not losing it (YAY!) and I know exactly what to do to straighten myself out.
I would instead recommend Capitalist Realism by Mark Fisher, it’s a really short book but it’s incredibly validating and talks a lot about depression
Allain de Botton is an incredible resource
We "constantly feeling like we are leading the wrong lives" This is my number one feeling the past year or two and there's not a lot worse than feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, almost all the time.
same here :(
Been there, done that - you’ll get through 😊
It means that it is time for a change!! A change in school, place of residence, friends, hobbies, food choices, etc. You're bored!!
I like transformers too butt I wouldn't go that far.
I define relate. It was an extreme effort to change my life but nothing has been more fulfilling. Allow yourself time and work toward it every day if it's important. The time will pass anyway ❤
For my life, this is a masterpiece. I’ve rarely experienced someone so thoroughly articulate so many of my own vague thoughts. Brilliant, and thank you. I needed that.
My thoughts exactly. I for real just sent this to my therapist.
The main takeaway from this video was that we need to acknowledge that our sources of unhappiness aren't directly linked to us, but come from the distractions of the modern world that we don't have the willpower to resist, or seeking for romantic love, and having high expectations but still not knowing how you're going to impact the world. A common thing that happens to everyone today, that has historical reasons to be.
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge; hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." --A.B. (DD1) 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
Its just capizalism baby
The style by which I've chosen to lead my life, especially now during early adulthood, addresses a number of these hangovers. The fact is living day by day, enjoying boredom, a little ignorant of every problem the world suffers helps to undo much pressure to bring to the surface who we truly are but forgot.
So true 🙏
Brilliant Alain! All of the philosophical essays are incredibly deep, yet simple. But this one manages to sum almost all of humanity’s issues from lack of purpose through intimate relationships and food addictions. Every time I listen to the thought of Mr. Alain I feel so enriched and calm, like my soul and brain had the most fabulous food. I’m so grateful for your channel and also love the books and games I bough for my kids and partner, from the channel’s shop 😊
I think this is one of the very best episodes in your channel. Spectacular.
Put another way, do their opposites and you'll be so much happier: 1. Think less about yourself; you're not the center of the universe. 2. Let go of expectations. 3. Focus on what's most important over what's superficial. 4. Don't let your happiness be dependent upon external things. 5. Delay instant gratifications.
@@herculesrockefeller8969Hi Hercules! In fact, these bullet points are indirectly referenced in the video. If the video's title didn't entice people to watch it, perhaps my comment will. It's a good video! 🙂
@@herculesrockefeller8969 Where's 6.?
Great synopsis
1. You'd better think over your issues ; no one else will consider them without payment 2. Letting go of expectations means everyone else can have what they want, except you 3. What's superficial to _you_ could very well be important to someone you care about. 4. It's ok to not want to live in a box under a bridge 5. Those who always delay are never gratified.
I have a PhD, and let me say that this is a refreshing video to watch. I've been discussing this for years but I've only been met with "tut tuts" and so forth. History impacts us deeply, thank you for this video.
A PhD in anything related or unrelated?
Ya I have a PhD too. In fact I'd like to buy the thread a round of PhD's. Wheeeee!!! - you can be anything you want....on the internet.
@@jamesedward9306 this is why people suck, because of your comment right here. This is why so many people are dumb and ignorant. Thanks for volunteering such information about yourself. Bravo 👏
@@AlbertBalbastreMorte it's in education, I teach history, civics, and public policy at a university
This is by far the most amazing video I watched on KZhead. I couldn't agree more, and can't possibly imagine a better way to summarise the reasons of our unhappiness at these modern times. Thank you so much to everyone who put effort into bringing this together.
Thanks for bringing Alain back. Perfect voice for these videos. ❤
Perfectly said! This is my favorite channel! You need to teach these videos in every single school and college.
I appreciate you pointing out the wider context for much of the strain on our emotional well-being nowadays. It pays to know what out-of-our-control forces are at play around the daily struggles we find ourselves burried in
One of the most eye-opening realizations that my therapist taught me about my last relationship was how unfair and senseless it was to have my previous partner be my "everything"--romantic partner, best friend, lover, teacher, coach, therapist, and everything in between. It was unfair because it placed a huge, unrequested burden on them, and senseless because of the simplicity of the healthier alternative: rely not only on my partner but on my friends and family as well, so I can distribute my needs and wants across multiple people. It liberates pressure from our partners, and lets other relationships flourish in new ways.
i’m definitely stealing “historical hangover” 🙂👌
I never thought of donuts as “satanic confections”.
Me too
More like a historic hangover
@@margo3367I was greatly amused to hear it😂
I've had a few of those in my time.
My favourite lesson has started✅ no better school than the School of Life❤❤❤ Love you guys. As always Allan's voice is honey to my ears
videos on this channel always make me tear up a bit, i wish i knew it half a year ago, now i see how important it is to have many people in your life. I ruined a great relationship because I relied on my soulmate to be my everything - my life, I abandoned anyone else to think about him all the time, I'd want to be together every hour, I couldn't handle breaks, and from this growing pressure I put on him gradually, he doesn't want to know me ever again now, because I couldn't change
My empathies. Your story reminds me of someone I know with borderline personality disorder. Something similar happened to him. I hope you find the happiness you seek and you continue to heal from the pain of losing your relationship.
Anytime there is a number in the title, I expect a numbered list. Guess I'll have to watch again, and make the list myself.😐 1) at 1:04 Transcendence: humans are the most astonishing things that humans know of 2) at 2:15 Expectations: we are told we can do anything, yet precious few make a name for themselves 3) at 3:00 Media: we can know almost all big happenings immediately, and small things go unnoticed 4) at 4:05 Isolation: not finding one's soulmate and settling for friendships 5) at 4:58 Work: intangible projects with nothing concrete to show at the end of the day-week-month-year-career 6) at 5:34 Self-Discipline: we have no will power to avoid the pitiless delights of the modern world.
friend you are a friend
Bravo! A big dose of much-deserved tough love, hilariously delivered. I think about our arrogant, ignorant me-ness often, but it rarely makes me giggle. Thank you for this delightful kick in the pants 👋
I think it's more an exoneration.
@cjw6659 I don't think the video was meant to release others from their obligations, but I guess it's how you take it in. I viewed it as taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. Hence creating a better life for oneself rather than dwelling on the externally uncontrollable.
Haha, that's cool : ) I took it as some relief that sometimes I give in to the cascade of current temptations.@@Leo-mr1qz
Thank God (or whatever force put us here) for Alain de Botton.
Also, thanks to his parents, I guess:D
And those parents and the before parents.. 😁 In the end, I guess the 1st "Thank you, higher power" covers it all. 😂🤔
I could listen to his voice all day
This feels like poetry.
nothing hits better in the afternoon than a daily dose of sanity from the school of life
This is gorgeous. Thank you for highlighting the beautifully human spirit trying to break free of modern constraints.
What Gabor Mate calls "the myth of normal in a toxic culture....."
I think this is the best School of Life video ever, and I have,watched a lot. Thank you.
I really hate how people push you into relationships like there is no possible way one can be happy by themselves
I feel like he's saying the opposite - that society pushes this concept of romantic love as a solution to modern ills which is completely unrealistic
SO BLOODY TRUE
Instead of worshipping non existent gods we should have venerated nature, because it's by its wrath for our actions that we're now tumbling towards extinction.
That's crazy man, how come we got 8 billion people and thensome?
@@rickjames5998 Because we're idiotically consuming every natural resource and polluting our environment past the point of no return 😃
@@rickjames5998I don’t think the original post implies we are already witnessing declining global population. I believe the comment is more aimed at human-caused environmental catastrophes that can easily kill hundreds of millions of people, such as nuclear war, extreme weather from man-made climate change, industrialized farming of the few species we most consume becoming ever more vulnerable to disease resulting in mass starvation, intentional discharge of pollution in the air, water and soil making regions of the planet toxic to most life for indeterminate periods, etc. Although such events may not result in extinction, approximate decimation (death of nine tenths) of humanity would be quite possible.
"We look on with envy and rage of those who have evaded the perils of mediocrity." This is an astounding quote! This describes the 2020s emaculatly!
evaded*
What the hell does it mean?
@@nitindadar7933 Yes, my mistake. I'll edit it.
@sneakerbabeful Looking on with the lack of the skill you wish to possess, and having violent anger towards those who have escaped through cleverness or trickery, the serious and/or immediate dangers of moderate, low quality and/or value of life.
Life is rather bad right now... Please - stand tall against FASCISM!!!💙💙💙💙💙
Hearts are red ❤❤❤❤❤
@@thx1168 Not the hearts that signals love for democracy... They are BLUE!💙💙💙💙💙
Your friends all agree 🇨🇦
These videos always come at the perfect time. 💕 I will listen to it often. 6:37
Thank you once again Alain.
There's a distinct Adam Curtis flavour to this video : ) I like the message.
HAPPY NEW YEAR. This is so true, it deserves a medal. Sigh, we are made to feel guilty about everything too. I am still in love with your voice, I hope you still don't mind. 💜
I love the insights the School of Life gives me. Madness does not just belong to me.
This one was exceptional. I would do anything not to exist in the modern world. All I want is to take a walk outside without being filmed by strangers or bombarded with hate speech, prostitution, and violence.
Do you live in a Favela?
The only thing stopping you doing that is your twisted attitude
@@DenkyMannerYou must live a sheltered existence. Why so mean then?
I get it. It’s overwhelming, esp if you’re old enough to remember it wasn’t always like this.
There are such places still like that near most anywhere you can move to cheaply and easily enough if you really wanted, but do watch "The Answer is Not a Hut in the Woods" first
How did you put that into words? All the vagueness in my heart and mind were materialized into this video. Such a masterpiece. This Channel is truly a gift to modern humanity.
Hyper-individualism and the all-consuming force that is Alienation, we absolutely cannot hope to simply live in dignity and delight with these forces rallied against us; change is coming and that old world is slowly dying, but for now The School of Life helps with the day to day.
For an example of a well turned phrase "A plethora of Satanic confections" is hard to beat! The phrase's author must feel powerless in the wake of societies indomitable sugar lust. 😂😂
"...on every street corner" 😂😂😂
Historical hangover is definitely a great way to put it. I’m glad to know other people feel overwhelmed in the same way.
an absolute banger of a video, Alain! spot on!
Hi everyone
Hola 👋🏼
Great comment
Hi
De por sí, vivir es un fastidio
Beautifully compromised ❤ So much input it's hard to breathe, to simply be.
Beautiful, this might be your most powerful video so far 🔥
Thank you for returning to your beautiful essays, Alain! 😘😘
I highly disagree with the opening statement primarily because I live in a society and occupy a space on the internet that constantly speaks about generational traumas and how "society" is at fault for how we've turned out as a generation. Attending to and fixing stuff thats within my reach has made my life a lot better that worrying about things that are/were out of my control.
You’re out of control if you’re needing to be in control so you are, in fact, in the same spot.
@stelmosfire11 nope, not really. The fact that I can wake up at the same time everyday and do what I need to do and still get enough rest, is enough control for me to say that if I focused on other stuff, my life wouldn't have been this good (because it wasn't).
This is such an important thing to realize. People love to throw blame around, saying we are responsible for everything that happens in our lives, but so much of it is determined by things completely out of our control (like the country we're born in, or our genetic composition). Also, an ordinary life is a far better one than a memorable life you need to sacrifice yourself to get (What would you even do that for? Pride? To be remembered? What bearing would that even have on your mortality?). There's no absolute "success", everything is a trade-off.
I love the mid century era clips you used to illustrate your points. Beautifully put my friend. I really felt this one.
Outstanding narrative. Outstanding imagery.
One experience amongst the many or masses is Knowing when someone or a group is determined to bring you down or make you sad offers the potential to empower you with knowledge not to get so sad or depressed. With this knowledge mindfulness offers more support suggesting the worst has already happened in your everyday when things go bad and feeling this at the time opens your experience to moving on with knowledge that many emotions deepen us. I enjoyed this clip and of course it opened my thoughts to reframing and rethinking my reflective practice as well as feelings including sadness. The world is full of people who would prefer that others lived in sadness. This uncomfortable definition of enjoyment is maladptive. This reflects their moods, their lives and this needs to be kept in perspective -active, aware and accepting of what we can change and what is beyond our control.
Wow, that was right on! Thank you for articulating so perfectly how I have been feeling.
Brilliantly put...and so timely. Thank you.
delete social media apps off your phone, makes doom scrolling really difficult when you use the phone's browser
Thanks for another kind, thoughtful, insightful video. Always helpful . ❤
This should be viewed and discussed by the whole world on a regular basis. But we'll probably just carry on scrolling through social media buying stuff we don't need to impress people we don't like and getting more envious, intolerant, lonely and bitter. Oh God!
This is the truth that so many will deny, thank you for your words
Satanic confectioneries 😂. Laughing because I'm currently devouring 4 satanic biscuits 😂
Thank you so much for your efforts . Beautiful graphics and voice.
Very true insights. Thank you for sharing this video.
Oh my goodness, thank you, yes! Why is it this? But it is and for some reason that makes me feel a little bit lighter... Thank you yet again!
This is a really good one, TSOL. Love it
Thanks for the video. I hope it can give me some thoughts to think about my life.
solid advice 👍
You are so good. I feel better already.
This one is going to keep me thinking for much longer than usual.
Brilliant. Thank you.
Loneliness is truly to be avoided,sharing life with someone else makes it richer.
All depends who the other person is.
@@andrewbuswell6010better to be alone than to be with an abuser. And believe me, you’ll be very lonely in an abusive relationship. Although I think alone and lonely are two different things. You can be alone and not lonely or with company and lonely
We're not alone if we learned to love ourselves.... Having someone is special but it's not their job to make me love my life or myself. That's all on me.
Word, thanks. Something felt very very wrong starting in preschool.
Amazing, thank you!
Everything that has ever been has shaped and brought us to who and where we are today...
I love it, and I still prefer longer-form content, even if it means fewer views-I'm aware of that. However, there are certainly those of us who would greatly appreciate the depth and substance it brings.
Thank you. Yes.
Clever humor, leaving an indelible mark and ensuring a return for more laughter.💖
Incredible, incredible, incredible video!!!
Thank you!!!
these videos are so calming to me : )
Thank you!
Yes!
Harder, better, faster, stronger. This is evolution. We are going through growing pains. Don’t forget to let ourselves heal! Our current society doesn’t leave much room for a break… and so it will soon break. Break out of the streams of information being fed to warp our minds and see the potentiality of our own creations! Good luck All 🙏🏼
I was needing this so much.
I realized that history was the major influence on my own life after I watched The Wall for the first time. The themes about WW2 and the loss of Pink's father made me realize that my own father's life was shaped by my grandfather's death in WW2. I have trauma and scars from it myself even though my grandfather and I never met.
You're great.
Very beautiful video ❤ Another big one might be the sense of meaninglessness amidst the great inventions and those of the past. It becomes more difficult to identify with them as they show almost no mistakes. It seems, everything has been said. That's why I listen to a lot folk music which reminds me of human fragility and light transported simply by a guitar and a voice. Film recommendation: Joan Baez - I am a noise. It was very inspiring to see such a beautiful and happy old (but not inside) person. Have a nice day.
Back in the day, lots of hours spent on Dylan, Baez, etc.
I think you're right on. It makes so much sense and I thought about this as I studied history. How dysfunctional our societies are today. Are we a reflection of our society? Or is our society reflection of us.
Ah! This makes me feel so much better 🤩
In the distant past, seems like generational changes were much less pronounced than today. So much change between WWII generation, boomers, Generation X, Millennials, etc. Technology seems to be part of it.
What a great explanation for our discontent in these extraordinary times.
I can imagine our ancesters (if they knew about us in the future today) would think of us being a society of madness with a majority of individuals suffering from megalomania.
Thank you.
this is a wonderful channel
Authors like Lipovetsky and Bauman would agree very much with the ideas of this video. Anyway, its very true that we want a lot of validation nowdays in comparisson with the good (not always good) all days. Thanks for the vid, I´ll take all of this ideas in account.
I agree Alain, but then again it's still my responsibility to act in such a way to remain sane and healthy. Choices, decisions as I go...
This one has hit the bullseye 🎯
Sobering reminder I didn’t know I needed
I fully concur 👍
Nicely done. 😊
You guys make great videos. A good one.
So good i listened to it twice. I needed to hear that so badly. Thank you ❤