We Aren't The Only Ones Paranoid About Election Day, Trump Is So Superstitious He's Re-enacting 2016

2020 ж. 29 Қаз.
2 522 887 Рет қаралды

As Biden supporters hold their collective breath heading into the weekend before Election Day, President Trump is retracing his final steps from the 2016 campaign, hoping that lightning can strike twice in four years. #Colbert #Monologue #LSSC
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: bit.ly/ColbertKZhead
For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: bit.ly/1AKISnR
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: bit.ly/1Puei40
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: on.fb.me/1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: bit.ly/1JlGgzw
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: bit.ly/29wfREj
Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: bit.ly/29DVvtR
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE:
Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! bit.ly/1OQA29B
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Пікірлер
  • At his rally in Minnesota today, Trump said that our doctors get more money when someone dies from Covid. He literally said that. This is how unhinged and desperate he has become. Everytime I think that he can't possibly go any lower, he proves me wrong.

    @DavidJ222@DavidJ2223 жыл бұрын
    • Starting to worry that this is the darkest timeline.

      @TheRAH1@TheRAH13 жыл бұрын
    • @@TheRAH1 Nice Community reference! I have not been able to finish Season 6, though.

      @chandrare2651@chandrare26513 жыл бұрын
    • He's extremely paranoid, adderall won't help. He knows he's done. Bye bye donny, your time is up. Game over 😊

      @chriszerkel5874@chriszerkel58743 жыл бұрын
    • That's actually true. Doctor's fudged the numbers and were paid 20% more for each patient they claimed died from COVID. CDC'S newest numbers Only 6% actually died from COVID

      @stacygagnon6280@stacygagnon62803 жыл бұрын
    • dopes ; 6% deaths is high , and Trump caused them . He knew a year before we were unprepared for an epidemic and chose to do nothing . see “ crimson contagion “

      @shiitakestick@shiitakestick3 жыл бұрын
  • Don't let them intimidate you, or keep you from voting. Don't engage with them. No matter what, VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! 🌊🌊🌊💪💪👍💙🇺🇲💙🇺🇲💙👍💪💪🌊🌊🌊

    @thereisbeautyinthisworld7251@thereisbeautyinthisworld72513 жыл бұрын
    • @Wary of Extremes this right here is proof that the MAGAts and Redhats are sweating buckets. Because they know their good times are coming to an end. Resist. Revolt. Vote Blue. Viva la resistance!

      @gamepapa1211@gamepapa12113 жыл бұрын
    • @@gamepapa1211 I am from India and I support trump

      @liana.chawngthu@liana.chawngthu3 жыл бұрын
    • @@liana.chawngthu well you look pretty silly now don't you.

      @gamepapa1211@gamepapa12113 жыл бұрын
    • @@craig1508 he lost. Get over it.

      @gamepapa1211@gamepapa12113 жыл бұрын
    • @@gamepapa1211 yo I don't watch CNN

      @liana.chawngthu@liana.chawngthu3 жыл бұрын
  • It is so heartwarming to see the love & support stephen's wife gives him. She is there for him every single night, responding with giggles to his punchlines. I recall how he struggled when he 1st lost his audience- hearing dead silence after every joke was rough. We got the old Stephen back once his wife became a fixture on the show.

    @mistresskeke@mistresskeke3 жыл бұрын
  • I'm not American but I get anxiety over this election. Still suffering from 2016 PTSD. Praying for our American neighbors for a much bigger result this election 🙇‍♂️💙💙💙💙💙

    @lovemonstera4144@lovemonstera41443 жыл бұрын
    • Us Americans too! UGH

      @denniswestman2460@denniswestman24603 жыл бұрын
    • Me too. From Australia. Hopefully you will soon be done with that poor excuse for a president. Stay safe.

      @JB-zs1oq@JB-zs1oq3 жыл бұрын
    • Still hoping an orange wouldn't won again here in Quebec.

      @fathfez7991@fathfez79913 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you. We are suffering too. Like being at top of roller-coaster and we either go down and level out or the track ENDS!!!

      @leewhite-graham753@leewhite-graham7533 жыл бұрын
    • @@fathfez7991 what about our pretty boy Justin ?

      @miladabravenec14@miladabravenec143 жыл бұрын
  • Trump's mantra: My authority is total but I don't take responsibility at all.

    @Teejsfolly1929@Teejsfolly19293 жыл бұрын
    • Trump: Respect my Arthur Rioty...and my authority.

      @TheKaiTetley@TheKaiTetley3 жыл бұрын
    • Still four more years 🤣

      @tuyenle8107@tuyenle81073 жыл бұрын
    • @@tuyenle8107 absolutely

      @stacygagnon6280@stacygagnon62803 жыл бұрын
    • When Trump said "i take no responsibility at all", he sounded like the guard in Star Wars who said "there was no danger at all".

      @noctisea8074@noctisea80743 жыл бұрын
    • There's only one way to solve this

      @keeganfernandes9255@keeganfernandes92553 жыл бұрын
  • I'm Canadian and #Biden2020 Please...

    @emmacann2532@emmacann25323 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you for your prayers. I can’t wait for this election to be over. I only pray Biden wins by a landslide

      @kathyroberson1913@kathyroberson19133 жыл бұрын
    • @@kathyroberson1913 dont pray... VOTE.

      @Dudeman9339@Dudeman93393 жыл бұрын
    • Still four more years 🤣

      @tuyenle8107@tuyenle81073 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you friend 😊

      @chriszerkel5874@chriszerkel58743 жыл бұрын
    • 🇳🇿 New Zealander 💯 agree *VOTE* Biden/Harris 2020 *please* - for you, for us - for the *UNITED* states of america -🇺🇸 again - not the divisive hellscape drumpf has turned your great country into, please, for you 🇺🇸 For us all... 🌍🌎🌏

      @juliaconnell@juliaconnell3 жыл бұрын
  • "Long walk but worth it" was my favorite line in this whole monologue.

    @shamanbeartwo3819@shamanbeartwo38193 жыл бұрын
  • Me: That joke about the writers of his monologue was kinda rude. My brain: Who do you think wrote the joke? Me: Ohhhh. My brain: Yeah.

    @FutureDeep@FutureDeep3 жыл бұрын
    • Your brain IS you. I think you might suffer from double personality.

      @funkaddictions@funkaddictions3 жыл бұрын
    • It wasnt rude. It was a throwback to a statistics joke. The original is something along the lines of "if a monkey would randomly write letters for infinite amount of time, it would eventually write all books by Shakespeare"

      @Jakubanakin@Jakubanakin3 жыл бұрын
    • @@funkaddictions wait you dont have at least two voices in your head? oh...

      @waytoohypernova@waytoohypernova3 жыл бұрын
  • "Hey, what's a few hundred thousand deaths? America is full of people!" - Turdman Jr.

    @Arahansannihilation@Arahansannihilation3 жыл бұрын
    • That's his version of 'let them eat cake'

      @BlueSky-oe4fn@BlueSky-oe4fn3 жыл бұрын
    • A Trump minion recently said on TV that they don't have any worries about holding packed rallies in Covid hotspots at all because Trump and Pence have the best doctors in the world. Obviously they couldn't care less about the ordinary Trump supporters.

      @toadjiang7626@toadjiang76263 жыл бұрын
    • There are a few too many if you include the Trumps.

      @petefl1818@petefl18183 жыл бұрын
    • Did he actually say that?

      @magickmoi1261@magickmoi12613 жыл бұрын
    • @@toadjiang7626 And you can just abandon them to the freezing cold waiting for buses for hours. Great combination: advanced age, Covid, and hours in the cold. Darwinism in action.

      @sarahsnowe@sarahsnowe3 жыл бұрын
  • Shout out to the Florida woman in labor who insisted on going to vote before going to the hospital. We should all be such dedicated voters.

    @krejados1@krejados13 жыл бұрын
  • There's no way Don Jr ISN'T on massive amounts of cocaine.

    @GameTesterBootCamp@GameTesterBootCamp3 жыл бұрын
    • Someone needs to set Junior up with a reservation at The Betty for an extended stay. Soon.

      @GoshGus@GoshGus3 жыл бұрын
    • Really. I have noticed that when ever a liberal accuses you of something, they are engaged in that very activity. Just an observation.

      @ralphquaglia5637@ralphquaglia56373 жыл бұрын
    • I find it funny that Trump makes fun of Hunter's drug habits, but his son is an obvious coke head on national tv. He does like to project. lol

      @madlibdb2521@madlibdb25213 жыл бұрын
    • @@madlibdb2521 obvious coke head? Do you have one shred of evidence, about that?

      @ralphquaglia5637@ralphquaglia56373 жыл бұрын
    • @@ralphquaglia5637 oh yeah! I love coke! It's how I can tell!

      @GameTesterBootCamp@GameTesterBootCamp3 жыл бұрын
  • 06:15 the state official really killed it with the clown costume. It’s fantastic!

    @madsox627@madsox6273 жыл бұрын
  • I’m a nervous wreck.And I will stay a nervous wreck until Trump leaves the WH in January.

    @valerieangell7588@valerieangell75883 жыл бұрын
    • 🇨🇦 Got you in my prayers Valerie ❤️

      @deborahbarry8458@deborahbarry84583 жыл бұрын
    • Val the guards could just about face and the WH could become the newest Federal Prison.

      @russellmiles2861@russellmiles28613 жыл бұрын
    • Hugs, Valerie. Tons of hugs.

      @krejados1@krejados13 жыл бұрын
    • ... Preferably in handcuffs.

      @ricmac954@ricmac9543 жыл бұрын
    • You are not alone, Valerie. Our Nation is facing the most pivotal time in the history of our Constitutional Republic. Waiting to see "if we can keep it" is no doubt nerve-wreaking. May the Peace that surpasses all understanding be with you!

      @ydamor@ydamor3 жыл бұрын
  • *PLEASE* people.... 💙vote💙

    @SimplyCaitlinS.@SimplyCaitlinS.3 жыл бұрын
  • INSTANT GRAM Laughed so hard my supervisor finally discovered I watch youtube all day

    @workyoutube7798@workyoutube77983 жыл бұрын
  • "They have the therapeutics to deal with this" Ony if you're the President and gets the best healthcare our money can buy. The rest of us peasants are on our own.

    @themousethatroared3371@themousethatroared33713 жыл бұрын
    • the drugs trump claimed to take are on hold because there is no evidence they do anything for covid. he never had covid. he claimed to have it, have a miraculously quick and painless recovery, and is now out there acting like he is superman, immune, and so has no need to wear those pesky masks. which is exactly what he wanted. AND, he can tell all his cult followers that covid is great, easy, go ahead and get it like i did, you'll love it.

      @nonyabizness.original@nonyabizness.original3 жыл бұрын
    • @@nonyabizness.original myself and everyone i know (save one 85 year old) had a quick and painless recovery, no therapeutics needed. 85 year old was hospitalized and came out fine. Y'all watch too much TV if you're afraid. Try reading scientific journals.

      @jacobawojtowicz@jacobawojtowicz3 жыл бұрын
    • @ The Mouse that Roared. I love your screen name. It’s a great book!

      @mlvogh@mlvogh3 жыл бұрын
  • Trump is SERIOUSLY sweating right now. But I'm nervous that he isn't sweating enough.

    @theincorporatedunplugged8743@theincorporatedunplugged87433 жыл бұрын
    • Shi**in himself

      @sea4cathy@sea4cathy3 жыл бұрын
    • @jai pennycuick in your dreams

      @thelmagoudy9462@thelmagoudy94623 жыл бұрын
    • @jai pennycuick Then I wish you took things more seriously.

      @vincentjohnflorio@vincentjohnflorio3 жыл бұрын
    • Still four more years 🙂

      @tuyenle8107@tuyenle81073 жыл бұрын
    • @Tony From Syracuse no ain't happen the American people have had enough it's going to be Biden in the white house trump in jail have a good day

      @thelmagoudy9462@thelmagoudy94623 жыл бұрын
  • Hello from Melbourne, Australia! I watch your show every night. I'm a big fan ..Keep up the good work guys and fingers crossed that Joe Biden wins. Stay safe USA

    @rv5873@rv58733 жыл бұрын
    • Absolutely. And yay to another Donut day in Melbs.

      @triarb5790@triarb57903 жыл бұрын
    • 🇨🇦 hey from Canada. The world wants to see the end of the 45.

      @deborahbarry8458@deborahbarry84583 жыл бұрын
    • Are you worried about us, that we might not survive as a democracy?

      @Tina-qp7py@Tina-qp7py3 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you, we're doing everything we can to end the nightmare.

      @elizabethwhite1068@elizabethwhite10683 жыл бұрын
    • @@elizabethwhite1068 Do you think it will end on election day? California will vote blue but I don't know about Pennsylvania, Florida, Michigan or Ohio. I can hardly sleep!

      @Tina-qp7py@Tina-qp7py3 жыл бұрын
  • I miss quarantinewhile! You lift our spirits! Thank you.

    @Aztara1@Aztara13 жыл бұрын
  • "The rats cushioned his fall" is a line out of a Stephen King novel.

    @sweepingtime@sweepingtime3 жыл бұрын
  • "He juniored on" oh yes indeed , bonus for that writer.

    @australien6611@australien66113 жыл бұрын
    • All the writers deserve a fat bonus for tonight’s monologue!!!

      @ellengrace4609@ellengrace46093 жыл бұрын
    • @@michaelkors9449 nobody clicks on these bruh. Better find a better tactic.

      @gamepapa1211@gamepapa12113 жыл бұрын
    • @myone lock But multi-colored eyes are beautiful and everyone knows it.

      @raava5648@raava56483 жыл бұрын
  • Toss the rotten pumpkin on November 3rd!🌊🌊🗳️💙💙

    @howdoesthatmakesense@howdoesthatmakesense3 жыл бұрын
  • Colbert: “... Well Liz, you’re wrong.” Me, sipping coffee: Huh?

    @lizzie0hair@lizzie0hair3 жыл бұрын
  • "Electile Dysfunction. Warning: If your Trump lasts more than four years, call your doctor." 😆😆😆😆

    @lazyperfectionist1@lazyperfectionist13 жыл бұрын
    • Must admit I missed that pun

      @fastertrackcreative@fastertrackcreative3 жыл бұрын
  • " he juniored on" so now it's a verb 😄😄

    @snigja@snigja3 жыл бұрын
    • Yeah, except it's more like an _in_ action word for Trumps... ;")

      @schoolhomevrtechnologyassi6286@schoolhomevrtechnologyassi62863 жыл бұрын
  • Can’t decide what is worse...looking at Laura’s face or listening to Don Jrs voice🤢 Thank you Stephen for using comedy to help us get through this.

    @elizabethellis9062@elizabethellis90623 жыл бұрын
    • Yeah - but you could see she was pained listening to him as well! She knew he was full of it 😒

      @EH23831@EH238313 жыл бұрын
    • Oh definitely Laura's face.

      @robynandrews4384@robynandrews43843 жыл бұрын
    • It’s a tough one.

      @fanatamon@fanatamon3 жыл бұрын
  • Another witty monologue. You knocked it outa the park! Thanks for helping me hang on to my last shreds of sanity, knowing I'm not alone out here. Love you man!

    @oucatfive6806@oucatfive68063 жыл бұрын
  • At a time when America _really_ needed a Franklin Roosevelt, GOP gave us a Hoover that _really_ sucks!

    @wilywascal2024@wilywascal20243 жыл бұрын
  • If you haven't voted yet, or received your ballot, go to the polls! VOTE BLUE! Let's fix this mess & help each other!💙💙💙

    @msfair3625@msfair36253 жыл бұрын
    • Blue team all the way! Joe biden president 2020

      @germainepaul1903@germainepaul19033 жыл бұрын
  • So how exactly is 90k new cases each day “rounding the corner??” Or “a number that’s almost nothing??” Or “a really great job??”

    @bizzmoneyb@bizzmoneyb3 жыл бұрын
    • kzhead.info/sun/Z8x_lpWkgqeHdok/bejne.html

      @lisamorgan3271@lisamorgan32713 жыл бұрын
    • Ever since he rounded 4 corners on the parade lap at the Daytona 500, corner rounding keeps popping up.

      @comment2009@comment20093 жыл бұрын
    • @Wary of Extremes a good job is what japan and south korea have done. The US is not a good model for how to handle a pandemic.

      @kanuck1357@kanuck13573 жыл бұрын
    • 101,000 or 99,000 on Friday depending on source. Rounding the corner into a street you don't want to be on. Hopefully it can still be managed and go down heading into winter.

      @Tom_McMurtry@Tom_McMurtry3 жыл бұрын
    • They’re not good at math either

      @chloekey8043@chloekey80433 жыл бұрын
  • Believing in Stephen! Running on all cylinders baby full throttle let's go bro! That's the Colbert we know and love!

    @jhetling@jhetling3 жыл бұрын
  • As always, another wonderful dialogue, Stephen. Thank you for keeping me alive. 💐

    @sandraleehurst873@sandraleehurst8733 жыл бұрын
  • That rat story had me rolling🤣🤣If you ever think you're having a bad day, it could always get worse.

    @stephmimz1061@stephmimz10613 жыл бұрын
    • Please no. I don’t need that. Not today. Not ever.

      @philiphockenbury6563@philiphockenbury65633 жыл бұрын
    • @@philiphockenbury6563 I can...actually *hear* the panic in your voice...!

      @SanbaiSan@SanbaiSan3 жыл бұрын
    • @@SanbaiSan It's less panic and more dread.

      @philiphockenbury6563@philiphockenbury65633 жыл бұрын
  • Legit was talking to my psychiatrist and said that we're essentially all in our houses watching the world burn. Apparently this is my new ok.

    @rebbecachunn@rebbecachunn3 жыл бұрын
    • Those of us who live abroad are watching the flames in horror and dismay. Our thoughts and hopes are with you. Hugs!

      @krejados1@krejados13 жыл бұрын
    • @@krejados1 The world is burning; climate change and obliteration of nature isn’t just happening in America. Apparently people are sweet with it. Let’s all watch teevee and play with our smartphones.

      @svukic1041@svukic10413 жыл бұрын
    • @Rebbeca Chunn Stay strong! We will get through this.

      @charlesr3351@charlesr33513 жыл бұрын
    • :) That was back in August when Seattle skies were so smokey and filled with chemicals from west coast fires that we had to close the windows, doors, vents, AC, and just pray for rain. Now THAT drove me nuts - wishing for rain in Seattle. Life is good, I can see the clouds again.

      @shamanbeartwo3819@shamanbeartwo38193 жыл бұрын
    • Did your shrink tell you you watch too much TV??

      @jacobawojtowicz@jacobawojtowicz3 жыл бұрын
  • "Gnawing anxiety" - I see what you did there.

    @bobmetcalfe9640@bobmetcalfe96403 жыл бұрын
    • That was great, and I also loved his use of Boomtown Rats.

      @mrs0rochester@mrs0rochester3 жыл бұрын
  • "Another timely reminder of how important it is to wear a mask" I don't know why I burst out laughing on that one but I did😅 This was a good monolog. Don't believe polls #GoVote Ya'll🗳🌊

    @myrahj1482@myrahj14823 жыл бұрын
  • Don Jr’s intelligence level is almost nothing. And empathy level.

    @TheSlipperyNUwUdle@TheSlipperyNUwUdle3 жыл бұрын
    • Don jr. thinks he will inherit America.

      @joedufour8188@joedufour81883 жыл бұрын
    • @@joedufour8188 😂😂

      @BoringTroublemaker@BoringTroublemaker3 жыл бұрын
    • That’s because the deaths are in far almost nothing...people are dying of suicide 100 times more and were not causing lockdowns because of that

      @shababrk@shababrk3 жыл бұрын
    • @@shababrk Wow. Call every news agency! 100,000 people are killing themselves a day after finding out just how stupid Trump supporters can be.

      @NeutroniummAlchemist@NeutroniummAlchemist3 жыл бұрын
    • @@shababrk And you actually posted that dumb ass comment?! TF!!

      @ionlywantfactsblessyourhea6262@ionlywantfactsblessyourhea62623 жыл бұрын
  • I voted today! Thank you for getting me through the last four years, Stephen!! I adore you ♥️

    @michellebarrasso3063@michellebarrasso30633 жыл бұрын
    • ☑️ YAY‼️

      @nonyabizness.original@nonyabizness.original3 жыл бұрын
  • The look on the newspersons face as Don Jr spoke - priceless!

    @learntocrochet1@learntocrochet13 жыл бұрын
  • "Boomtown Rats!" I love this guy.

    @Hravani4CM@Hravani4CM3 жыл бұрын
  • Stephen’s hair is the real bombshell of this monologue lol 👌🏻🥰❤️😅

    @luvdyr@luvdyr3 жыл бұрын
    • right? I wonder if the wifey doez it for him 😄😊

      @lindseyariegel7703@lindseyariegel77033 жыл бұрын
    • I thought this was Rachel Maddow 🤣

      @jasonparker9367@jasonparker93673 жыл бұрын
    • Lindsey A Riegel that would be cute!! I really love his hair here! 😃🤩

      @luvdyr@luvdyr3 жыл бұрын
    • That’s some sweet hair

      @Gitanarosa@Gitanarosa3 жыл бұрын
    • Definitely the best waves of 2020.

      @clarewillison9379@clarewillison93793 жыл бұрын
  • “They’ll be stuck with *raging elections!* “ That pun just slayed me, thank you Steven!

    @AquaLantern@AquaLantern3 жыл бұрын
  • We are not paranoid!!NO NEGATIVITY!!WE GOT THIS,MR.STEPHEN!!

    @norafox4789@norafox47893 жыл бұрын
  • O man Donkey Kong was my first game as a teen back in 80's. Memories

    @canarytopaz@canarytopaz3 жыл бұрын
  • That "Electile Dysfunction" bit at the end of the vid was hilarious.

    @seanderoo37@seanderoo373 жыл бұрын
    • I wonder if it is contagious to other countries..

      @AndreasDelleske@AndreasDelleske3 жыл бұрын
    • @@AndreasDelleske Brazilians might say yes?

      @lyreparadox@lyreparadox3 жыл бұрын
    • Call your doctor if your trump lasts more than 4 years. I died.

      @Aleckzandr@Aleckzandr3 жыл бұрын
  • The Donkey Kong joke made me laugh. Haha I loved it!!

    @elhopper3735@elhopper37353 жыл бұрын
  • The psychedelic festival poster is the best thing I've seen in a while!

    @jojoba11@jojoba113 жыл бұрын
  • BIDEN 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

    @sea4cathy@sea4cathy3 жыл бұрын
    • Trump 🗽🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 Biden = 🇨🇳

      @stacygagnon6280@stacygagnon62803 жыл бұрын
  • 😂😂😂 Brother, you are killing me. The rat hole monkey band thing😂😂😂Thank you I really need this

    @goodmorninggilw2836@goodmorninggilw28363 жыл бұрын
  • It’s because they want to save money but don’t realize he isn’t actually helping them do so.

    @desireeespinosa3954@desireeespinosa39543 жыл бұрын
  • I personally know a number of shy trump voters. That’s the danger. People are ashamed but they still support him

    @Ambrosha385@Ambrosha3853 жыл бұрын
    • I know a few shy Biden voters.

      @jbachman01@jbachman013 жыл бұрын
    • Then I don't buy their pseudo-shame. At all. If they were truly ashamed, they'd not support a literal wannabe-autocrat.

      @clavesseptem7223@clavesseptem72233 жыл бұрын
    • Lol losers!

      @wesa5436@wesa54363 жыл бұрын
    • @@clavesseptem7223 I said shy, not ashamed

      @jbachman01@jbachman013 жыл бұрын
    • @jasonnnization 🤣🤣

      @Sebastianvalen@Sebastianvalen3 жыл бұрын
  • I have friends in the US who are Republicans who don’t attend rallies and don’t agree with Donald Trump but are still voting for him. I’m sure there are thousands more like this so don’t underestimate him

    @njanks@njanks3 жыл бұрын
    • I know this...people with huge bank accounts..not the backwoods inbreds...want him because they want to see their money grow and pay no or little taxes..but really..love of frigin money aside..where's your damn morals??? Sold out to the money.

      @sicilyny5375@sicilyny53753 жыл бұрын
    • @@sicilyny5375 Many wealthy people got where they are BECAUSE of a lack of morals. A climb to the top sometimes involves stepping on others to get there.

      @tabitha9323@tabitha93233 жыл бұрын
    • Creepy Joe is going to raise taxes.

      @netteyf3857@netteyf38573 жыл бұрын
    • I have the same thing at my job A lot of people are saying they don't like him, but still want a republican or that they don't fully find him good Their still voting for him or that they really don't like Biden

      @taochi100@taochi1003 жыл бұрын
    • What's really sad is... Trump isnt really a Republican. He just ran as one bc he knew he could win. And he knew they would defend him so they could keep Republicans in power. Sad, really!

      @Glitterbug42@Glitterbug423 жыл бұрын
  • "I wouldn't ask Don Jr. to give a eulogy." No, but I would make him do a basic math test. 😏

    @CloudsGirl7@CloudsGirl73 жыл бұрын
    • “You scored a -5%.” “How?” “You spelled your name wrong again.” “Fake news.”

      @TheRockhead9@TheRockhead93 жыл бұрын
  • 💕💕 We hold our collective breaths all the way from Oz land!!👐👐 ~ We Know America will WIN this Time!!💕💕 ~ Americans Over Tyranny ~!!👐👐

    @totsmini3105@totsmini31053 жыл бұрын
  • 3:00 _There's no way a guy can walk away from that without PTSD_

    @oriontigley5089@oriontigley50893 жыл бұрын
    • He's going to become Ratman

      @ninjabluefyre3815@ninjabluefyre38153 жыл бұрын
  • Don Jr. sounds like he's doubling up the dose for his Best Is Yet To Come Powder.

    @gamepapa1211@gamepapa12113 жыл бұрын
    • @@ghays9742 It's coming from listening to djtj and watching him twitch. Google the effects of cocaine abuse.

      @nadt5547@nadt55473 жыл бұрын
    • @@ghays9742 hey if you can accuse Biden's kid for anything, we can do that too. Probably has more substance as well since a) Junior acted the part of a junkie really well and b) it comes from a much more credible source than Breitbart.

      @gamepapa1211@gamepapa12113 жыл бұрын
    • Double eight balls? Sheet. Triples man. Triples.

      @Aleckzandr@Aleckzandr3 жыл бұрын
    • 👍Underrated comment. Lol🤪🥴🤤😪🤧

      @peggyjaeger9280@peggyjaeger92803 жыл бұрын
  • As always, truly mind blowing!

    @tempesnyder6243@tempesnyder62433 жыл бұрын
  • Dear God, thank you for letting me see this hilarious monologue today. I have no idea how i missed it the first time around, but today was the day I needed it.

    @ammaleslie509@ammaleslie5092 жыл бұрын
  • Stephen my birthday is on Tuesday (I know) and I will be keeping myself busy (day off) and distracted as the day passes and try to enjoy my day...I will be thinking about you and with comfort knowing you are gonna be on top of this and feeling all the anxieties for us...like I've said before YOU have made these past EXHAUSTING 4 yrs bearable...LOVE YOU STEPHEN and THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE AND CONTINUE TO DO 💙

    @irishcladdagh3@irishcladdagh33 жыл бұрын
  • The Rat Pit carried less disease than a Trump Rally.

    @incognitro7634@incognitro76343 жыл бұрын
    • Fewer rats, too.

      @seanbohan9491@seanbohan94913 жыл бұрын
    • @Tyler B #2 The "my body my choice" sentiment disappears when "your body" can kill my body with a single breath.

      @seanbohan9491@seanbohan94913 жыл бұрын
    • @Tyler B #2 Pretty sure the Republicans put an end to "My body, My choice"

      @incognitro7634@incognitro76343 жыл бұрын
    • @Tyler B #2 Actually abortion has a %100 chance of removing an unborn fetus. Hence the term, 'abort'. And it's not your fascist body that is at issue here, it's other, living, breathing people.

      @seanbohan9491@seanbohan94913 жыл бұрын
    • @Tyler B #2 So do cats and dogs

      @seanbohan9491@seanbohan94913 жыл бұрын
  • We are familiar with that in the UK - we have 'shy Conservatives".

    @navarroaustin8243@navarroaustin82433 жыл бұрын
  • “It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?!”

    @SanDeezyBreezy61986@SanDeezyBreezy619863 жыл бұрын
  • This is not a drill! Love you Stephen

    @sethie_shots@sethie_shots3 жыл бұрын
  • Watching you right now on the TV. You are one of the only things getting me through this crazy time. Thank you for your work. ❤️ 🇺🇸 💙

    @jabarnes77@jabarnes773 жыл бұрын
  • All right folks. Hold tight and pray. The day we all dread is finally here.

    @michmanusa@michmanusa3 жыл бұрын
  • Stephen you are here for Americans - I don’t know if you realise how much of a lifeline you are, but through the horror of 4 years of Trump and covid19 you have kept me and millions of people like me. Sane!! You rock :)))

    @pattoad@pattoad3 жыл бұрын
  • i guess all those dominatrixes are giving their subs BLUE BALLS!!! im just gonna take my leave now.

    @MisterFister612@MisterFister6123 жыл бұрын
    • I was just thinking that too. That would have been a funnier punchline. I was disappointed, the joke writes itself.

      @sebastiannemeth-ramirez2160@sebastiannemeth-ramirez21603 жыл бұрын
    • I was waiting for a blue ball line, it didn't come....

      @joelsmith5613@joelsmith56133 жыл бұрын
  • "COVID, COVID, COVID!!" Does anyone else hear "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!" when he says this?

    @TaxidriverBarbi@TaxidriverBarbi3 жыл бұрын
    • We all do :)

      @sandraorzel3976@sandraorzel39763 жыл бұрын
    • Lmao, I thought it was just me.

      @dawnstanley1733@dawnstanley17333 жыл бұрын
    • For its fifth edition, ARTE Concert Festival is back in a period as difficult as it is uncertain to bring live music to life in spite of everything and to support the world of culture and artists. See you in 10 days on @arteconcertFR with Sébastien Tellier, Yelle, London Grammar, Lous and the Yakuza, Ichon, Matt Berninger, Prudence, Arlo Parks and P.R2B live from La Gaîté Lyrique and elsewhere.

      @tomriddler@tomriddler3 жыл бұрын
  • The "don jr hitting on someone at a funeral" bit absolutely destroyed me because it is absolutely within his wheelhouse.

    @TmanT321@TmanT3213 жыл бұрын
  • That guitar riff awoke my soul

    @leahl5007@leahl50073 жыл бұрын
  • I love you, Colbert, but I really missed hearing Evie's giggles in the background tonight. Somehow that makes everything so much funnier.

    @HeyitsDee@HeyitsDee3 жыл бұрын
    • She was there, just hard to make laugh out loud jokes this close to the election.

      @EnglishMike@EnglishMike3 жыл бұрын
    • I heard her.

      @akinpaws@akinpaws3 жыл бұрын
  • 6:38 - Honestly, I was going to give DJTJ a pass on the supposed cocaine habit, but not this time. I've seen it. This guy is hyped on it.

    @deadfreightwest5956@deadfreightwest59563 жыл бұрын
    • Trump jr: alleged coke addict Hunter Biden: verified crack head

      @xerbersucker69@xerbersucker693 жыл бұрын
    • Being addicted to dangerous substances isn't a moral failing; research has shown that addiction is an illness that requires treatment and support from loved ones and community. If DJTJr has an addiction, he needs that treatment like everyone else, but destructive habits don't make you say shit you weren't already thinking or turn you into an uncompassionate waste of jizz. DJTJr doesn't need coke's help, he was all of that already.

      @rachelfox8108@rachelfox81083 жыл бұрын
    • @@xerbersucker69 At least Hunter isn't out spouting stupidity on talk shows.

      @raspberrypicasso5855@raspberrypicasso58553 жыл бұрын
    • He'll disappear for about 30 days after the election

      @jennbatch6377@jennbatch63773 жыл бұрын
    • @@xerbersucker69 at least he didn’t deny it.

      @TAM2031006@TAM20310063 жыл бұрын
  • Goddamnit... EXACTLY when you broke to the footage of the Oregon Health Commissioner, I got an add for McDonald's new apple fritter. I was genuinely confused.

    @spencerferrier3857@spencerferrier38573 жыл бұрын
  • Good luck folks with the election on Tuesday. May the transition of power be peaceful. Best wishes from European fans. Stay safe, stay strong everyone ! 😘

    @olgacharalambous2810@olgacharalambous28103 жыл бұрын
  • Let's take advantage of the Blue Full Moon on Halloween to cast our Binding Spells against the orange one 💫😁

    @reneelyndamartinez1362@reneelyndamartinez13623 жыл бұрын
    • I already voted blue so I guess I am eligible to cast along.

      @shirleyrombough8173@shirleyrombough81733 жыл бұрын
    • Put the hoodoo on the doodoo.

      @alarkalbass6726@alarkalbass67263 жыл бұрын
    • I cast Counterspell

      @scetchmonkey007@scetchmonkey0073 жыл бұрын
    • @@scetchmonkey007 ohhh, Trumpster rolls a 3, your Counterspell deflects off Mirror of Truth. Witches roll a 20.

      @rhov-anion@rhov-anion3 жыл бұрын
    • Voting is a better option.

      @telectronix1368@telectronix13683 жыл бұрын
  • Stephen may be joking but Jr. truly seems coked up.

    @Darbysmommy@Darbysmommy3 жыл бұрын
    • Truly! Truly!

      @mooreandless@mooreandless3 жыл бұрын
    • He gets extremely frantic on interviews and interrupts himself while ranting.. I’ve never seen a sober person do that.

      @ktlemongrass5129@ktlemongrass51293 жыл бұрын
    • @@ktlemongrass5129 Except for Senior?

      @Blunder03@Blunder033 жыл бұрын
    • @@Blunder03 Trump’s definitely hopped up on steroids and perhaps just old fashioned brain damage; he’s always had accusations of drugs throughout in addition. Trump might not drink, but that doesn’t mean he’s not on other drugs.

      @ktlemongrass5129@ktlemongrass51293 жыл бұрын
    • It's no joke. Junior is always whacked out.

      @emanon321@emanon3213 жыл бұрын
  • Excellent monologue, and it seems Stephen got his ultimate guest bookings in one show!

    @KaritKtana@KaritKtana3 жыл бұрын
  • Endless gnawing anxiety... brilliant

    @RaInRusH316@RaInRusH3163 жыл бұрын
  • "Long walk but worth it..." LOL. Yes Stephen that's exactly how this monologue felt.

    @wahn10@wahn103 жыл бұрын
    • I'd be honored if some fellow concerned Americans who appreciate 80s music would take a quick listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performances of DANCING IN THE DARK by Bruce Springsteen and PURPLE RAIN by Prince on my YT channel in tribute to a pair of legendary American classics. Peace and vote 'D' for Decency on Nov. 3rd.

      @willritter4076@willritter40763 жыл бұрын
  • Donkey Kong was my favorite game. My mom would get up 4:00 am in the morning before work to play. She died of throat cancer 3 years last month in my grandbabies birthday trying to complete her Doctorate. Love you Mom ❤️ I know that you would be voting as the first female union shop Stewart in Philly....She went to the March with Stevie Wonder on the train to Washington when I was a little girl. Stevie if you sing with Biden and Barack tomorrow sings a song for Mommy. If she was alive today she would be with you tomorrow. Power to the People. We must fight for Democracy no matter what games they play to silence us. You would be proud of me mom I took your 9/11 born granddaughter to vote for first time today with your great grand baby today...

    @sassythia4678@sassythia46783 жыл бұрын
    • Wow, that could be a novel!

      @silvasilvasilva@silvasilvasilva3 жыл бұрын
    • You have every reason to be proud of your mom. Blessings on you and all your family.

      @shirleyrombough8173@shirleyrombough81733 жыл бұрын
  • That NYC rat hole sounds like my nightmare!! 😂

    @LeftIsBest001@LeftIsBest0013 жыл бұрын
  • YOU are funny in a time we desperately need some laughs! Thanks Stephen.

    @anne7441@anne74413 жыл бұрын
  • Paranoid? Personally, I'm scared af...

    @ginakay354@ginakay3543 жыл бұрын
    • Biden said in his closing remarks in Georgia: “I believe when you use your power, the power to vote will change the course of this country ... so keep that sense of empowerment with you. That sense of optimism. What we can do. What we will do. What we can overcome. What we will overcome.” Keep that with you this weekend.

      @dr.z1657@dr.z16573 жыл бұрын
    • @@dr.z1657 in the meantime, Trump said :" Covid, Covid, Covid,coviid,coviiid, coviiid" choose your side wisely..

      @fabhomer@fabhomer3 жыл бұрын
    • I thought it was just me.

      @thereisbeautyinthisworld7251@thereisbeautyinthisworld72513 жыл бұрын
    • Why scared? Its been 4 relatively good years except for covid. You liberals cry over nothing.

      @Alphadawg88@Alphadawg883 жыл бұрын
    • No fear girl. Only determination and anger.. cause that's the energy we need right now. Fake it til ya make it.

      @rogalos2459@rogalos24593 жыл бұрын
  • He killed that "you single" don Jr look😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 i died 💀 🤣 😭 😂

    @wutflex@wutflex3 жыл бұрын
  • Stephen! This was one of your funniest monologues! I laughed out loud all by myself! Thanks!

    @kathleenrichardson9766@kathleenrichardson97663 жыл бұрын
  • *Wake up voters everywhere! This is the most important election in American history! Vote Biden/Harris! Vote Democrat! Vote for American Democracy, Decency & Justice!*

    @chicagoboy1106@chicagoboy11063 жыл бұрын
  • I'm worried about the lame duck session. 🦆

    @LoganAllec@LoganAllec3 жыл бұрын
    • Agreed. The lame duck will be very scary this year. 😫

      @victoriaeads6126@victoriaeads61263 жыл бұрын
    • I smile when I think of how torqued Trump will get over the word "lame". Ahhhh.

      @willcoder@willcoder3 жыл бұрын
    • If the Senate turns blue then there will be nothing to worry about. But for the love of God Vote Vote Vote

      @alexrowdyrodrigues9716@alexrowdyrodrigues97163 жыл бұрын
    • He is going to wreck havoc on his way out the door

      @jasonflay8818@jasonflay88183 жыл бұрын
    • Lets worry about that when he loses. OK!? Miami-Dade falling behind in voter count. Arent you seeing the news?

      @abemartin1166@abemartin11663 жыл бұрын
  • Please tell me The Late Show are streaming Election Night live on KZhead for your viewers abroad? Johnnie Walker alone won't get me through that night - I need something to numb my senses as well!

    @OhNoNotFrank@OhNoNotFrank3 жыл бұрын
  • LMAO! Love the concert poster for the Fillmore!

    @hopeinsite261@hopeinsite2613 жыл бұрын
  • Ahh...thanks for the jokes Stephen, I needed a laugh! Brilliant monologue.

    @tammytalking@tammytalking3 жыл бұрын
  • Hi, Stephen. Nice to see you on a Friday.

    @thisistheaccountname@thisistheaccountname3 жыл бұрын
  • Can you imagine falling through the street and wanting to yell for help... but decide not to because a rat would scurry into your mouth? Man that’s tough

    @ABitefLife@ABitefLife3 жыл бұрын
    • And the main concern of the man who fell is that he'd be arrested, a reasonable fear, since he is black.

      @shirleyrombough8173@shirleyrombough81733 жыл бұрын
  • "Texas! A state so conservative, their lieutenant governor is an oil derrick with a pistol!" As a native Texan, this made me laugh so hard. Also, I'm a registered Independent and I voted for Biden. 🇺🇲💙🌊

    @heatherkingston1445@heatherkingston14453 жыл бұрын
  • I hear you loud and clear so what I did was I voted early and voted for TRUMP and the whole Republican ticket down the line. Thank you so much for convincing me. I'm sure others will act the same way after hearing your words!!! Colbert, can't thank you enough for pushing me towards Trump.

    @arielvivar1688@arielvivar16883 жыл бұрын
  • 15 foot drop into rat infested hole .... I WILL have nightmares about this .. : /

    @sharonolsen6579@sharonolsen65793 жыл бұрын
    • At least it wasn't... hungry rats

      @FuckGogleplus@FuckGogleplus3 жыл бұрын
    • I would die from a heart attack!

      @tracyanne64@tracyanne643 жыл бұрын
    • @@FuckGogleplus "Snakes... why does it have to be snakes..." I'm the same way about rats (due to a personal experience that has left me mentally scarred)...

      @igorschmidlapp6987@igorschmidlapp69873 жыл бұрын
  • A view from the UK. Your anxiety is going to continue long after the election no matter what the result. Good luck.

    @willsumnall3499@willsumnall34993 жыл бұрын
    • He he, spoken like a true expert! 🤭

      @ericjourdain892@ericjourdain8923 жыл бұрын
  • OMG this is some of the best stuff Colbert has ever done!

    @tatonka411@tatonka4113 жыл бұрын
  • Imagine your life going to school not to learn, going to college to pay for tests, and later selling real estate only to declare bankruptcy and then pay no taxes for decades and give this inheritance to your descendants. Is that what wealth is or is it stealing? They have no shame flaunting everything they never worked for. I got spanked for crying because I wanted to use my neighbors bike at 14. My mom said if it's not yours you cannot use it.

    @india7680@india76803 жыл бұрын
  • Stephen's *"Shy Trump Voter"* impression surprised me! LMAO

    @udornyc@udornyc3 жыл бұрын
    • So many shy Trump voters, here in the KZhead comments section :) Yep. That theory completely checks out.

      @TooSlowTube@TooSlowTube3 жыл бұрын
  • Let's hope for a "happy ending" on Tuesday.

    @nigelnix1@nigelnix13 жыл бұрын
KZhead