The Seditionist Roundup Continues As More Idiots Are Charged For Roles In Capitol Riot
It's time for another edition of everyone's favorite criminal justice segment, A Late Show's Seditionist Round-up Roundup. This week, Stephen looks at the cases of MAGA realtor Jenna Ryan, "moron" ex-boyfriend Richard Michetti, and former bartender Eric Munchel, each of whom now face jail time for their alleged participation in the deadly January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol. #Colbert #Impeachment #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
Stephen’s monologues have made the last 49 months so much more bearable and easier to rationalise... thank you steven and the team at LSSC
Stephen 😉
It's not hard to rationalize when this exists: www.watchdominion.com
He and John Oliver should both stick to the no audience thing. Somehow I like them even more.
Evie can stay though.
Reported for extreme truth
"...after 11 months of this pandemic, I'm mostly potato myself." I feel personally attacked by this entirely relatable statement.
Hey, this is the United States of Insania! I mean, of America! So sue the bastard!
Tots!! We've eaten a few piles of pandemic tater tots at our house. Turns out they cook in half the time under the broiler & are much crispier to boot (oven rack placed dead center).
I’m not all potato. I’m also other carbs
@@fireofevender5515 I thought the the same thing Stephen thought, as I'm sitting here watching this, eating tator tots and fried fish. Pandemic tater tots rock!
Your awesome
That ex-girlfriend of the insurrectionist is my hero!
Me too, and I hope more people turn in these monsters
He's never getting that hoodie back now.
@@avidnongetit8710 I heard about a woman who changed her profile on a dating app to show conservative political views, and every time someone hit on her boasting about how they were in the Capitol building, she sent their information to the FBI.
She's now pretty high on my heros list too! djw.
@@avidnongetit8710 // you mean the liberal monsters that have been rioting in the streets the past 4 years and did over $2 billion in property damage? You guys got a taste of that at the capitol from the other side and now you’re afraid aren’t you?
the raucous laughter from the team is honestly the best thing about this monologue. shit was so funny even the staff that knew about it still laughed their asses off. it's wonderful.
"There is no more time honored defense for a fascist that 'I was just following orders'" Classic. Literally so.
Known as "The Nuremberg Defense" (didn't work all that well for the nazis)
In defence of the n-zis though 😋, they were gonna get executed either way: follow orders and be hung by the allies tribunal, or don't follow orders and be shot by nazi supervisor/commander. Trumpsters have no one pointing guns at them. They have much more free will than the n-zis.
NyJoanzy, Merrick Garland will be doing Robert H. Jackson proud. There is a Federal Courthouse in Buffalo N.Y. named in Honor of Jackson (Chief Prosecutor of the International Military Tribunal at Nuremberg).
Now...wait a minute.. Let me think. I know I heard that somewhere before. Uuuhh...For some reason WWII is coming to mind; and something about Germany, Gestapo, and some idiot with a roach on his upper lip; I think it was supposed to be a mustache. Oh well, it'll come to me at 2am when I'm turning over in my sleep.
.. "...but...but...but the Nazis weren't fascists, they were socialists! It's right there in the name of their party! For my next intellectual trick I will prove that snowballs DO stand a chance in hell.
"Won't someone think of the tots?!" was the best line I've heard in a long while
I'm gonna get "No one has polio. Can you guess why?" on both a tee shirt and mask.
Over a million deaths caused by TB are reported each year. It's the worlds most deadliest infectious disease. The vaccine for TB, BCG, only works 20% of the time. If you think trusting medical professionals is a good idea, read up on the Tuskegee Syphillis trials, or the Quaker oats radiation scandal. We're all guinea pigs, pal.
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10472327/ And another interesting read; that time the CDC found out the Polio vaccine infected 98 million people with SV40. SV40 is a simian virus that increases the risk of cancer in humans.
@@jimmyrustler8983 If you're going to try to force your antivaxx beliefs down my throat, at least: 1) mention that the occurrences and deaths of tuberculosis are highest in nations that have a low distribution of TB vaccines (like India, South Africa, Bangladesh, etc.) and that TB vaccines actually have a 71% effective rate. 2) SV40 infections occured from *contaminated* polio vaccines; the polio vaccines, themselves, didn't cause the cancer. 2a) use current data, because not only did you present a study from the late nineties, but the study, itself, is for the contaminated polio vaccines given between *1955 and 1963*. I do commend you, though, for using data and journals compiled and shared by the same professionals who you claim are using us as guinea pigs.
@@MxDae Guess I'm just being paranoid when the FDA lists Opiate based pain pills as safer than Marijuana then, even though prescription opiates caused 100,000 medical emergencies in one year alone. kzhead.info/sun/irmYddehmJOLeo0/bejne.html We're guinea pigs and cash cows. 👍
@@MxDae www.quora.com/Can-you-sue-vaccine-manufacturers?share=1 Also, remember when BigPharma basically made it impossible to sue them for vaccine damage? Only because they were being sued and losing constantly. Nothing shady there, though.
"hes not the messiah, he's a VERY NAUGHTY BOY!" - Capitol Police Chief 2021
Ha ha.....Life of Brian.
Dayum that ex-girlfriend’s power move was legendary.
To be fair, she couldn't have done it without him.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. That's on him for not knowing that, honestly.
im not so sure it was "legendary". i think this guy is just so stupid that he couldnt predict the outcome of fighting with his ex while committing a felony.
Tru...still these rioters now say its all lies...wow that's a quick 180...bad Nazi the Fuhrer won't be pleased
she better be careful in the future and watch her back now, sadly
Lmao. "I've fallen and I can't hang Mike Pence". Whoever thought of that should get a raise.
That joke killed me 😂
Ikr!!
Badass avatar
Best line of the monologue. I’m still LMAO!
never knew how much I needed to hear Stephen say "SLAY QUEEN!"
I love how Mr Potato Head was always a toy about customization, but making a gender neutral potatohead that can be anything is "destroying the world"
I guess it's almost un-woke, though. Now it says if you have a gender, you can't grow a mustache and put on lipstick. Gotta eschew your gender to unlock the mix-and-match
The fact people are more riled up over a potato’s gender than what happened at the Capitol is really telling of this country.
Republicans aren’t people
@@anatomicallycorrectmuppets8180 I hate to say it but I agree with you
Conservatives are actually a minority in this country but they’re really loud
@@anatomicallycorrectmuppets8180 I agree. The GOP before tRump just wore a mask of dignity, but now the gloves are off and they have publicly embraced domestic terrorism, racism, bigotry, Neo-Nazis, white supremacy, racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, classism, elitism, etc. etc. Biden simply *must* take measures to expunge these traitors from office and into prison, no matter what the alt-right _(Which is now the parties core)_ may say.
@@EdaugEthanbYT Not to mention all the gerrymandering and voter suppression
The crew’s laughter is gold. It just gives such an intimate and genuine feel to the show. Like friends having a good time at work. Just what we need nowadays
I agree. I love the show without an actual audience who feels that they have to laugh at every joke. But I think the laughter here is coming from Colbert’s wife and his son. Of all the late night hosts Stephen Colbert is the only one that can make me laugh out loud. Love his sense of humor.
Hope he doesn't go back to the studio.
@Tina20 I was thinking exactly the same thing.
Yes, but only on the left. But for those IDIOTS?? TO THE GULAGS!!!
Wish they had that passion for hunger, homelessness and honesty.
"Won't someone think of the tots!" I spit my drink out my nose.
That woman turning her ex-boyfriend in to the FBI is honestly such a power move. Forget winning just *that* breakup; I think she just won *all* the breakups. No ex is going to be able to top that...
The only one I ever saw hurt that much, she held a garage sale. Clothing 50 cents apiece; golf clubs, $5. Because she was a good person, she gave him all the money from the sale.
He deserved being turned in to the FBI not just for storming the Capitol but by being so arrogant and controlling he couldn't see her point of view long enough to support her opinion as valid. It's ok to disagree, but some part of me feels like he had some sort of hate and disdain in his heart to call his girlfriend a moron. It just disgusts me so much.
@@johnvaldez8830 To be honest, it almost reads as though they broke up *specifically because* she disagreed with him about the election being stolen. Texting an ex tends to occur in the immediate weeks post-breakup and the way his message was phrased definitely makes it sound as though the election was a significant factor in that. He 100% deserves everything that comes his way and his ex dodged a bullet.
How dare you say "woman" and "her."
@Relic Arcane Dude, give it up. I'm not even Murican and I can see the election was not tampered with. There have been SIXTY-FIVE lawsuits about it that have ALL been dismissed. The ONLY person arrested for election fraud was a Republican trying to vote for T***p under his dead mother's name. Y'all lost. Deal with it.
This show is becoming less talk show and more "chilling out with Colbert in his basement" and I love it
Its awesome. 🤣🤣🤣
😁
@Dick White It's putting me off watching anymore.
He is in his workplace "office," though.
Giggling in the background ☺️
Love that ending "I've fallen and I can't hang Mike pence." Classic.
Holy cow, that was a killer opening.
I was brushing my teeth during the clip of " He is not the messiah, he is a naughty boy" now I need to clean the mirror.
🤣😂🤣😂
They’ve been married for HOW long and he still cracks her up? That is unbelievably adorable! There really is nothing like a happy couple.
Of the two, I bet she's actually more funny... just not under the pressure to _be_ funny for a TV audience. They interact very well.
Wish I had that koolaid
Colbert has writers that assist (feed) him with jokes
@@trumpisaclown7280 What’s wrong with that? It’s his delivery that makes his wife laugh. I think that’s very sweet.
@@trumpisaclown7280 -- He has praised (and joked with) his writers and even the card holder frequently, but in the end I suspect he takes full responsibility for the content of his monologue. He probably has to approve it all and is experienced and clever enough to add a lot to each script 😊😃😊
You should always have Evie there. You’re on fire when you’re making her laugh. It’s perfect.
*/aims nerf bow* "Ow!" "I haven't hit you yet!" XDD
Amen, added bonus I feel the love they radiate towards each other through my tiny bedside tv Now that's rare!
I'm down with keeping this setting permanent. Loving the fun like the bow and arrow toy. Really adds some cozy feeling giggles to it, makes it more relatable and sincere.
Having a wholesome and loving relationship like Stephen and his wife is ultimate life goals
So will the 75k lost XL pipeline jobs!
@Frank Silvers don't throw stones.
@@gunnarraiden5400 Arresting people who try to overturn an election isn't transforming america into a totalitarian government
Absolutely! If I shot arrows at my wife she would beat the crap out of me!!!! I am soooo jealous LOL
I know right!
I love how off the cuff this monologue was. Feels like we're just hanging out with Stephen, and I'm here for it!
I do miss this version of Stephen!
Stephen, you and your writers and Staff Are AWESOME thank you. I'm so happy when your wife is attending. You are the "ones" we all hope to be with someone on a relationship like yours.. ☮️
"I was just following orders." " Stand back and stand by."
Never forget. Not in 1945 Not in 2021. We KNOW where this goes. We've SEEN it refusefascism.org/.
@@elizabethsohler6516 pppppp
@@elizabethsohler6516 Too bad half the country doesn't remember or know where this is going. They evidently don't read history.
@@freetolook3727 they were busy thinking about tossing a leather ball, fucking a cousin or invisible people after their non-existing jobs their voted-for president lost.
@Dudley Burleson You... might want to rephrase your sentence. You're basically saying it's amazing that people cheering for the opposite side of fascists cheer for the arrests of said fascists. Not that it didn't give me a good laugh.
"I'm sorry for attempting a coup. I understand now that what I did was wrong... Now that I'm facing consequences."
We call them coupsequences
@Relic Arcane How's that Kool-Aid taste? Seems like it must be pretty good.
@Relic Arcane Knucklehead.
"Coinseditionces"? 🤔
@Relic Arcane Amoeba brain.
The laughing in the background makes this show now. Stephen has an awesome wife
Was the studio audience not quite genuine enough?
A woman's genuine laughter is the key to my heart. Stephen is a lucky man.
@@fabiofoxmusic3971 don’t get me wrong, he thrives in the studio, but he’s really found a groove here. It took a little bit but I think he’s making these home episodes work. He can interact with 3 people laughing more than he can a whole audience and it’s very charming
AWESOME monologue! this guy loves his job and is nailing it tonight. Ive been a fan for years and don't watch as often as I should. Great to be here, peace from Georgia
Steven does have an awesome wife. It's cheering in these troubling times see a good loving partnership
My favorite Segue ever. “Speaking of Asses”
What do motorized personal scooters have to do with this?
@Richard Pierpoint lol thank you spelling fail
I can't wait till they are all in prison! and their fearless Leader is in the cell right beside them!
"Take a little time to centre yourself, like 5-7 years" 😂😂😂😂😂😂👌
4 with good behavior
“Ow!” “I haven’t hit you yet!” Me and my siblings fighting as kids (2:30)
some ideas for a better planet Matthew 5: 27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Luke 17:1 And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! better stop producing / uploading / watching "music videos".. (or similar videos, pics, profile pictures, thumbnails, title names, headlines, usernames + harmful comments, bad words, swearing, lies, disrespect, harmful lyrics etc! on social media + everywhere else too. "Temptations to sin" / seduction etc. must stop) start deleting? censoring etc? destroy your smartphones, cams, data storage devices etc? would be better. remove temptations / seduction + other evil things from TV, magazines, radio stations, broadcasting etc? would be better. many young people are watching those videos (or reading / typing harmful comments, or doing other bad things!) etc. all over the world. and its NOT ok! parents? (or people in authority): intervene?! seriously wait.. there is more: harmful drawings / comics / animations etc, clothing / styles / hairstyles / behaviour, facial expressions, gestures, dancemoves, acting, exercises, sports etc. harmful things in video games, news, reports, interviews, vlogs / blogs, tutorials, movies, series, trailers, entertainment shows, video productions! (+ backgrounds + surroundings), books, art, artworks, calendars, posters, business flyers, catalogues, leaflets, packagings, stickers etc. (words, speeches (+ voice types, vocal color etc), music, sounds, visuals, references! etc) harmful things in stores and online shops, advertisements + advertising, commercials.. + better stop online dating and other harmful things! maybe.. support ocean or river! clean up organizations? (i think it is of high importance) (in india, pakistan, africa etc) + support animal welfare (animal shelters (money for food or new fluffy dog beds? blankets?, small fluffy carpets? (+ washing machines?), pet vitamin supplements, + pet supplies (dog toothbrushes?), pet toys, dog hairbrush? (parasites!) bath towels, medical checks, dental care? / nail, paw care? etc. pet heating pads? heated dog houses? (for winter or in cold areas), pet cooling mats / pads (on hot days, summer), diesel powered portable generators? (outdoor electric power generation) (to run vacuum cleaners, washing machines etc), solar lamps?, transport vehicles, maintenance work + other improvements, additional staff + volunteers, more safety, beautifications? etc. topiary?? + animal rescue ? (dog rescue projects in india?), animal hospitals?? (in poor countries or districts) or homeless people in your area? (btw governments should help these people! seriously. fast / adequate / individual support?!) support some of them? + always be careful: corona etc! or become a firefighter, volunteer firefighter (+ driver? (pump operator), paramedic or ER doctor? ER nurse? ambulatory care? or shuttle service? (for people with disabilities) + be cautious: corona, hepatitis, tuberculosis etc! become an instructor? (fire and rescue?, emergency medical services?, advanced driving techniques?, advanced first aid?, psychological first aid?, wound care management!? + preventions (decubitus!, contractures!, thrush!, periodontitis!, loneliness?? etc) (nursing homes / home care / hospitals etc + training seminars for employees) + hygienics?, high angle rescue techniques?, first aid for pets?, basic pet care?, junior firefighter programs?) start reading medical books? (anatomy? / physiology? / ECG interpretation? / EMS (paramedic books?) or nursing books? or blood banking and transfusion medicine? or dental engineering? medical or rescue engineering? medical dictionary? (illustrated) become a dog trainer? (rescue dogs, avalanche rescue dogs, therapy dogs) education? + watch out! dogs, cats etc. can transmit / spread corona! become an animal rescuer or animal doctor? + watch out! CORONA! (protection, safety measures etc) caution! they say: Coronaviruses are zoonotic, meaning they are transmitted between animals and people! maybe.. plant a tree? many trees? a walnut tree?? in a park, garden or backyard? a walnut tree = food source (for birds etc) + oxygen generator. + provide water for animals in summer? fresh water source? or bird bath? or food? (daily? or several times a week?) use checklists to improve efficiency? snowy days? become a snowplow driver? (volunteer?) or towing service worker? or pharmaceutical supplier? + be cautious: corona! new technologies + other cool things: Far-UVC light (222nm) efficiently and safely inactivates airborne human coronaviruses?? (+ flu virus and many other?) do research? progress? + installations? (in offices, busses, trains, cars, restrooms, elevators, classrooms, corridors, stairwells, hospitals etc?) .. could save lives. + improve immune systems? (food nutrients?) + portable plexiglass virus shields? (for counters, offices, workplaces, waiting rooms, buses, trains, passenger cabins etc) + air purifiers? (with HEPA filter) or cased UV air purifiers? + limit the number of customers in stores, shopping malls, buses etc?, keep distance + distance floor markings?, + keep windows / vehicle windows wide! open for ventilation? + stay at home? amazing tools for rescue workers: portable hydraulic StrongArm (r) for firefighters etc. ( jawsoflife com ), hands free thermal vision (in mask imaging system), in mask heat vision (temperature display etc) or c-thru technology. + there are more amazing tools! high rise rescue solution? SPARS parachute rescue system? ( cosmic-rs com ) fireproof clothing? + fire escape hoods?! (fire escape hoods and fire escape masks are designed to help you to escape from a burning building. each of these fire escape masks and hoods allows you 15 ? minutes to flee through the toxic gases / smoke) smoke detectors with LCD display?, CO detectors?, fire blankets?, fire extinguisher? (+ fireproof clothing, cap, gloves, safety glasses etc?) (+ fire extinguisher selection chart?) fire suppression systems? smoke extraction? fire protective coatings? (or anti corrosion?), seat belt cutter? useful gift idea? for family or friends etc. (or useful teaching books etc) support fire and rescue departments / services in poor countries or districts? (new helmet lamps, safety clothing + shoes, new equipment, fire escape hoods, thermal monitoring? (thermal vision will help you to track down a fire's source and smouldering fires in dark. glowing embers as well as fire hot-spots can be detected and fighted very fast and efficiently! + mobile infrared cameras could detect hidden hotspots or locate people in smoke-filled buildings), first responder kits etc / communication devices (wearing! portable radios), new vehicles? a turntable ladder?? training verhicles? new motorcycles? (+ customizable / agility / more efficiency, + difficult terrain / crowded areas etc), new firefighter / rescue helicopters? (certain areas) new reanimation boards (for nursing homes / hospitals etc), new lifters? (patient transfer solutions), protection equipment / protective gear (corona), medical oxygen??, ventilators?, AEDs + first responder kits, pulse oximeters, diagnostic penlights, glucometers? (+ strips), + various batteries (or battery charger?), blood pressure cuffs, stethoscopes, weight scales, label machines? (for clothing or other personal things), rescue blankets?, stifneck collars?, thermometers, neck pillows, heating pads / cooling packs (or aspirators + tubes, IV poles, (+ IV (intravenous) nutrition), breath exercisers, electric shavers!, nail clippers!, glasses cleaning cloths, non-slip socks! and many other good things + health care products (high quality products?) etc, compression bandages, medical dressing (+ anti pressure sores (decubitus!) elbow / heel protectors / pads / comfort cushions etc), CPR training simulators?, disposable ambu bags?, new rollators + replacement parts (+ hip protectors etc), wheelchairs + replacement parts (footrests, leg rest, headrest + cushion, armrest pads + comfort pillows?, cushion pads etc. to prevent pressure sores!), gel pads for shoes + back heel pads etc (+ improved skin inspections?! + treatment + reports + regular checks (+ photo documentation? with digital camera (disease / wound / injury processes! etc), anti decubitus air mattress for additional prevention?, + prevent hand contractures? (hand / wrist / finger splints?, hand therapy ball exercises?), auxiliary eating spoon and fork? (stroke hemiplegia rehabilitation training) comfort grips cutlery? (great for parkinson / disabled, suffering with tremors and trembling hands etc), medical alert system solutions?, own phones for all employees? (more efficiency / more safety), electric armchairs (more comfort), ergotherapy? (useful + less loneliness! + caution: corona!), water dispensers (less dehydration) (+ caution: edema / pulmonary edema / other diseases etc.), outdoor corner sofa + table? (garden, terrace / + all weather proof) + electric awning?, lighting solutions? + cool floor / garden lamps? (solar?, waterproof), teamwork + helping each other? (+ watchfulness, attentiveness, helpfulness, care, + honesty, accuracy, + giving helpful tips / hints, + politeness, being thankful, being focused), + preventing back injuries? (employees! / patients) (lift and carry properly. (+ teamwork? / use tools and aids?) + gymnastic exercises for a strong back?, (+ protect (treat carefully) your joints, elbows, kneecaps etc! + your nerves!), + energy and resource saving concepts?, tasty / healthy food? (+ additional: instant soups?, ready meals?, canned foods? for hungry employees / night shift etc), (+ vegan cooking books? give it a try? at home?) + other improvements, beautifications, more safety, comfort etc + spreading good mood? (less sadness) (+ please be careful: corona!)
@@technoraver99 The 1st few paragraphs, you sound like one of the Puritans from days past who wanted to burn women at the stake for being witches. I think they’re called bitches today... Your comment is not a solution for a better planet for everyone. It’s for a ‘better planet’ with YOUR priorities in mind... It is only what you know, not what is known...
@@technoraver99 tl;dr
@@technoraver99hand rest please
That sound bite will be used in court if one day they divorce.
"Seems like indirect way to get to the nose" I lost my shit for the entire week.
Wait, wait, wait... am I to understand that his defense is that he needed the zip ties to restrict his mother’s movements??😬
Yeppers.....
"This will all be edited out, no doubt." "Press X to doubt."
I'd be honored if some fellow Colbert fans would take a quick listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performances of DANCING IN THE DARK by Bruce Springsteen and JACK & DIANE by John Cougar Mellencamp on my YT channel in tribute to the United States of America and our 46th President, Joseph R. Biden. Live acoustic with no autotune. Peace and everybody stay safe.
X
He meant it would be edited out before for airing on television.
"Press X for sarcasm."
Xxxxx
Is anyone old enough to remember when Mr. Potato Head came as a box of lips, eyes, ears etc. and you had to go to the kitchen and get a potato to stick them in? And then a month later you would find this shriveled up, sprouty thing at the bottom of your toy box?
Yes!
@@mfcabrini Mine had a pipe too.
Nice horrible histories name, lol...a shout out to the shouty man!
Me! Me! Ooh, me!
@@jeffhoward162 👍.
So much great Evie content tonight🥺😍 her little giggles give me LIFE, and the way Stephen smiles at her when she laughs is just 🤩🥺🥰
I'm so happy Stephen is having so much fun during these recordings. Love to see it.
May we all find a love like Stephen & Evie ❤️
Please
"When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent." - Isaac Asimov 🖋📃
I love that.
Yes.
@Ol' Dee I wish ALL savages were quiet or at least confined their rage to lengthy books were robots were more humane than the human beings.
Great quote. And it's happening here.
Even better: "There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."
"Don't try to understand 'em Just rope, throw, and brand 'em" 🔨
Brilliant!
RAWHIDE!!!
This didn't age well! You just got arrested for going into the Capital without permission
"This will all be edited out." *Has been one-taking every episode.*
This was one of Stephen Colbert’s BEST Monologues!!!
I'd be honored if some fellow Colbert fans would take a quick listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performances of JACK & DIANE by John Cougar Mellencamp and DANCING IN THE DARK by Bruce Springsteen on my YT channel in tribute to the United States of America and our 46th President, Joseph R. Biden. Peace and everybody stay safe.
Definitely 😁👍
Absolutely!
I heartily agree. Stephen's monologues make the pandemic much easier to live with. Unfortunately, now I can't get that shrill "TIIIINNY PEEEEEEEEEENIIIISS!" out of my head!
Hey yesterdays one was damn good too :)
This segment is absolute fire! Love the dynamic with the engagement with others and the joyful playfulness of it all. Cheers guys, keep doing what you do!!
What a brilliant comedic relief . Thanks for this show .
Stephen: Evie is here! Literally all viewers: *cheers of celebration* EVIE IS HERE!!! 🤩🥳
Evidence is very lucky to be around such a creative man! The laughs never STOP😂😂
Evie darn spellcheck🤣🤣
Evie is the cutest
YAAAAS 🎉🎉💃💃💃💃💕 love Evie
@@suzetteyoung57 Be thankful it was only that. Here are some laugh-out-loud worse ones... www.pinterest.com/lifeofreilly64/damnyouautocorrect/
I want, "no one has polio; can you guess why?" on a shirt.
Obviously due to homeopathic vaccines
Same.
Seriously!! I guffawed at that one. 🤣😅😓
Done: www.customink.com/designs/lol/rce0-00cd-mh6b/share?pc=EMAIL-40778&
That’s the rationale I’ve been using with all the naysayers, but I’m still not getting thru! 😳
Stephen: “This will all be edited out no doubt” Editor: 🤫
All of Stephen's work is excellent, but this monologue was especially excellent! So many memorable lines.
"I'm not Legolas." No, but you are absolutely adorkable.
I think we now know what Stephen and Evvie's courtship would have been like if they'd met as kids.
Nothing will ever replace the laughter of the crew and Evie's laughter once they go back to the studio. 🥰🧜🏾♂️
There are so many audible laughs in this episode! Love it!
Keep it up, Evy. You make us all laugh at Stephen's show (that's meant in the best kindest way).
You know, every time we learn something about the personal life of one of the capital rioters, that time Trump said "I love the poorly educated!" makes so, SO much more sense.
"... I'm not Legolas over here..." No.. he's Darrylgorn!
Yet again, New Message me to the punch...
The live laugh track is killing it, much love Steve, from Ireland
The past several years have been tough and it’s only gotten harder as time has gone on. Being only 25, I have very little hope for the future. Thankfully Stephen Colbert makes it worthwhile
So, that guy with the flexicuffs was just chasing after his mother? What kind of relationship do they have?!
A very naughty one
Ed Gein or Norman Bates comes to mind
I REALLY did not want any visual connected with that question.
🤣😂🤣😂
50 shades of grandma
Evie’s laughs are the best part of the show.
LOL! Only the highest IQ people leave comments here!
I don't know if it is the best but their genuine and wholesome relationship certainly makes the show really great.
I love how much fun you guys have during the monologues lol
Steven!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!! You’re the best, Man!!! We love you in Western, NY!!!
"I've fallen and I can't hang Mike Pence" killed me
Me too 🤣🤣🤣
I have taken an almost perverse pleasure in watching these Capital clowns get arrested over the past month and a half. I hope you keep rounding them up on the show! :D
Schadenfreude is a wonderful cure for four years of being called a "snowflake" or told I had TDS every time I said I knew this would happen.
Just imagine how good it's going to feel once they're done rounding up and charging all the small fry and arrest the ones who actually incited the coup.
@@jarrysciligo5395 One bad thing for me though...i found out last month that an old friend of mine who I grew up with was there and he was the one who dragged Officer Fanone down and held him down while others beat on him. I cried a lot after that. Jan 6 was the worst day for me as an American since 9/11...My friend needs to pay the price.
You and me both, highlight of my day.
So funny Stephen - great opening!!! The laughs were needed. TY
Yes, Insanity is the cure to Reality
"I've fallen and I can't hang mike pence" - holy shit im dying.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
As George Carlin famously said: "When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. And when you're born in America, you get a front row seat."
Look, I hear what you're saying, but regardless of the fairness of it, for some of us, that just isn't enough, and we gotta run onstage
@Real Aiglon coming from the unoriginal response to sound interesting.
colbert isn't that bad. You don't have to watch the video if you don't want
@Real Aiglon Absolutely true! So many people can’t think on their own any more. Very worrying for humanity’s future.
@Real Aiglon Not sure what you're talking about, almost no KZhead comments are Carlin quotes. Unless Just Jeanne posts a lot of them and you're noticing Carlin quotes often coming from them specifically, in which case fair enough.
One of Stephen Colbert's funniest monologues !!🤣🤣🤣 The crew and Evie's Laughter😍😍😍
Thanks so much for your amazing humor!!! It helps in this CRAZY time!!!!🙏🙏🙏
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" Thank you Terry Jones.
Aye The Life of Brian .. Yes Reg If you need a refresher i Have found it Free You Tube Movies and put them on my Playlist .. Deluxe Eclectic Movies .. some other cool stuff
Yes! Meanwhile....GOP (role of the Black Night)! 😂🤣
@@seasiren2619 GOP "I'm invincible!"
Right up there with “A piston engine???”
@@seasiren2619 LOL We are not quite Dead Yet
Her: Ow Him: I haven't hit you yet! Her: But you're going to... This is the best conversation in 2021 yet
I haven’t gotten to that part in the video just yet but I’m guessing it has to do with the GOP?
@@Justusson nope just some wholesome goodness
Sounds like a "Me Too" moment.
Laughter: the best medicine! Mahalo, Dr. Colbert!
"seems like an indirect way to get to the nose" ...from which some of my coffee came when I involuntarily spat it out.
“Won’t someone think of the tots?!” 😂
Somehow, I’m suddenly surprised we didn’t gender those into potato tits. Because Murica
Evie's hysterical laughter after that was wonderful.
I saw that punchline sauntering slowly up 5th Avenue as the joke developed. It was worth the wait, though.
😂❤👍✌!!
There's what, 4 Toy Story movies, everyone in the world has seen, and they have Mr and Mrs Potato Head in it... SMH... How much you want to bet if they make another Toy Story movie he's going to be named Mr.?
And Evie yelling "Ow" before he shoots at her. 😂☠💙🧜🏾♂️
OMFG, you slay me Stephen, great show. Keep the laughs coming my friend!! 🤣
"This will all be edited out no doubt." I GOT DOUBTS!
And then he did spake the words: ‘Evie is here’ ✨🥰✨
Yay! Evie is the best!
“She got a killer haircut, she’s dating a new guy, and she sent Richard to FEDERAL PRISON!!!” 😂
LOL
Idiot Richard sent himself to prison. But you did good girl
Cool Umbrella Corp symbol.
@@nodaknegan9111 It's even the "old" Umbrella logo,... so as far as we know, Umbrella could have been part in all this. O.o (terrible attempt in a joke,.... I apologize for it)
@@MalO.ver1.0.x right lol. I'm set for that eventuality. I live in the woods 15 miles from the nearest small ass town. I also have a total of five wells on my 350 acres and several buildings. I just need to build sniper towers and jangly traps.
The writing on this monologue, stellar 👏🏾🤣
I love that Colbert stuck it to the producer and continued his shinanigans, delivering one of the best segments hes done during the pandemic
Think of the tots! Whoever wrote that deserves more money.
Ruining the world lol
I am going to miss these not-in-the-studio shows, they are a breath of life.
"I've fallen and I can't get up" and "I'm not going to pay a lot for that muffler" - Great to see someone else remembers these ads!
They've kept this show SO entertaining over the lockdown, it's amazing. All talkshow hosts have done great considering the circumstances, but I honestly think this show has been the best, even when it wasn't in the studio a few months ago. I'll almost miss it when the audience returns, without the wholesome laughter and family interaction in the background :,)
"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy." I legit LOL'd.
It's a scene from Monty Python's "The Life of Brian." Great movie.
same here !!! pay that writer double this week !~!
@@stefanbjarnason251 RIP, Terry Jones.
Everyone (!) should watch that movie at least 10 times in his life 👍🏻😉
No! The Messiah IS BLACK ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE
"Won't someone think of the tots?" is the best line I've heard all week! 😂😂😂
LAUGHING! OUT! LOUD!!! Favorite show on KZhead. #TeamColBERT!!!
I love these rebellious editors at The Late Show keeping in Colbert's shenanigans.
During these difficult crazy times, I sure am grateful Colbert is around to give me a few laughs.
“makes your body so gentrified not even white blood cells can afford to stay. “ 🤣
They are missing a huge market here. Instead of 3 potatoes male, female, other. Now we only get one. Idk 3 potatoes sounds better to me. And i hate math
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@shesails25 one potato two potato three potatoe 4.....😂
When I tell u I hollered!!! This monolog was on point! Omg I laughed so much! 🤣🤣🤣 "I've fallen & I can't hang Mike Pence" took me out, yo!
I couldn't stop laughing! One damn good therapy session!
This monologue was quite fun, love when Stephen is having fun
Can't express enough how having Stephen talk to me in these solitary times has helped me keep going. Thanks Stephen. Just wanted to say this.
All of us, honey! We all need each other! Be careful and give your smile to someone else who needs it ...
He kept me laughing which kept me alive. I owe him my life.
Meh, would rather listen to Joe Rogan or even Nick Cannon. Colbert is just the flipside of Fox news.
Amen I often watch him 1st then Rachel Maddow 2nd to get the facts. My blood pressure can't handle straight news without humor to cut the CHILL in my bones as I watch our country in the grip of madness... Thank you for sharing ☮️
Me too.
Its actually amazing how funny this can be without the live audience and the in-person interviews
I love these catch a third wave segments 😂😂😂😂