Ending The Coronavirus Pandemic Is NOT One Of Donald Trump's Accomplishments
With infections and hospitalizations spiking across the country, the United States is clearly a long way from ending the Covid-19 pandemic. But the White House seems to think a nonsensical press release will make Americans believe otherwise. #Colbert #Monologue #LSSC
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." - -George Orwell, 1984
This is an underrated comment.
there is no virus - its an fear mongering agenda to vaccinate and rfid microchip you
@@wyrmpleencensoredagain1219 So over a million real deaths and millions more real infections from real humans just happened by pure coincidence all from the same symptoms that a highly infectious respiratory virus would cause, destroying economies, ensnaring the planet in lockdowns and border shut downs, when a vaccine is reportedly years away, but we shouldn't worry about any of that because some idiot bitch who reads too many facebook conspiracies calls 'fake' on it?
Wyrmpleen Censored Again Why would any one even bother to microchip you since you are already dumb and gullible af??
@@wyrmpleencensoredagain1219 See you at the next Trump rally. Dress warm.
A Trump University poll has the president leading in all 72 states.
I'd be honored if some fellow concerned Americans who appreciate late 70s/early 80s music would take a listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performances of PURPLE RAIN by Prince and SEPTEMBER by Earth Wind & Fire on my YT channel in tribute to the masters of the era. Peace and vote 'D' for Decency on Nov. 3rd.
@Phillipa Scott you missed the joke quit being easily triggered ❄️
Hilarious 😂😂😂
@Phillipa Scott Well you've just embarrassed yourself 🤣
Bada Bing Bada Boom
"I never wanted to be a politician " Hey imagine that, great minds. I never wanted you to be a politician either.
Funny !!!!!!!!
1000%
“If your not voting for me you ain’t black” I guess his running mate isn’t black then.
@@holyphantomx2152 ZER0 Content 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺 *RUSSIAN TROLLBOT ACCOUNT* 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺
My favorite thing about watching Stephen is the way he still makes his wife laugh. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Jon Stewart and his family a few times and he has the same vibe. Genuinely funny down to earth people. Keep up the good work.
Lucky you!
Donnie left many of his fans stranded in the cold in Omaha. It's clear that Donald doesn't even care about his own supporters... and yet they will still vote for him... That's Insane!
Good. Maybe they’ll realize then he doesn’t care about them
for more years 😋
Well they definitely have dedication 😂
@@tuyenle8107 Wow, you really have nothing else to do, and that's honestly adorable
@@OpusTheLeftie Hi, Opus!
Hearing Stephen's wife laugh at his jokes makes me smile so much 😁
kzhead.info/sun/hL6iqa-yboShpas/bejne.html 1
technically, they aren’t HIS jokes, seeing as he has a staff of writers (yet, i’m sure he has input), but i get what you’re trying to say.
Yeah she is definitely very supportive 🙂
Have you listened to Spade and "Heather"? Colbert learned from him, I'm convinced. Good for their rhythm, and comedy just plain needs an actual audience.
Me too.
Evie so cute laughing at her Boo Stephen in the background. I love hearing her laugh at her man. So cute!!!!😄💙
Stephen, when you spray water on a fish, he just finds it refreshing and rejuvenating.
I've come down with a terrible case of TAHS.... Tired As Hell Syndrome...
I think What has been going in in America has given this to most of the world. We are so sick to death of every day a new Idiot trump story. He will take over the history books. Nixon who?
...Honestly, same.
You too!?
"I'm not Sleepy, l'm tired. Of you, Donald Trump. You're fired!" ~ Joe Biden, Epic Rap Battles of History.
Me too. And I am not alone
I love it when Stephens wife laughs at his zingers
Yeap,,,,I like it to😅🤣😅
Are you stupid? Do you understand how absolutely scripted every single video is? Nothing goes unnoticed. Yet you think everything is so oraganic
Me Too! Evie makes it real, and it's they are so cute together.
@@tenacious__b7937 The person questioning someone else's intelligence mistyped the word organic... Good job. Also, that's the point genius. The fact that after decades of being used to his schtick, she still laughs at some things. Also, also. Yes. Everything is scripted, however, there are some ad-libbed moments, and even if you're trying to suggest that those are scripted as well, do you honestly think they are rehearsing everything like they used to? He probably gets a final draft of the script and reads it over like a half hour before they start filming.
She’s a great audience! 😂
I'm so in love with Stephen and his wife's relationship
#relationshipGoals
I ship it.
Trump: "I don't sound like a politician, because I'm NOT a politician. I never WANTED to be a politician. Or a husband. Or a father. Or a Christian. Or an honest businessman...."
" I JUST WANTED TO BE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED! Daddy... oh, Daddy... why did you never love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? Was I not racist enough? Daddy whyyyyyyyyyy? *sobbing* " - the subconscious of Donald Trump, probably
I'd be honored if some fellow concerned citizens who appreciate 80s music would take a quick listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performances of PURPLE RAIN by Prince and DANCING IN THE DARK by Bruce Springsteen on my YT channel in tribute to a pair of legendary American classics. Peace and vote 'D' for Decency on Nov. 3rd.
what pandemic? World Doctors Alliance: no epidemic, normal flu virus, 89-94 percent false positive PCR test. What virus? CDC July 13, 2020: Buried deep in the document, on page 39, in a section titled, “Performance Characteristics,” “Since no quantified virus isolates of the 2019-nCoV are currently available…” That line says the CDC does not have a sample of the virus....from any laboratory in the entire world. Surely some lab somewhere has the virus isolated. Right??? How could the CDC not have one sample of the virus? How are they going to make a vaccine for a virus that has not been isolated?
@@darthknightwingphoenix2081 🤣😅🤣
the funny thing is that Trump's entire life has been based on training to be a politician. he's a shamelss liar and self promoter, he'll say different things on the same subject depending on who his immediate audience is, etc, etc. he ran for President one time previously. he was born to be a politician. the fact that 2016 was the first time he was elected to public office is a mere bit of trivia.
"I never wanted to be a politician" ... spoken like the most politician-y politician that ever politicized.
He just wanted to play one on TV....and God help you all now :(
I always wanted to be a lumberjack!
He was the suckiest suck that ever sucked.
LOL
@@AdeonHawkwood Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
I'd rather watch the entire movie of CATS twice than listen to 5 minutes of a Trump rally
Amen
Evelyn Okay: I just saw a video about the Trump rally tonight. It was very cold outside, and seven people had to be hospitalized because the Trump rally buses that were supposed to take them back home were hours late. You should have seen their breath in the air, like a viral fog all around them.
Ditto! ...is that once with cat bumholes and once with them edited out? 😅
@Robert Heck: Having Dr. Fauci as a White House medical spokesman, who told the truth, was a deflection from official White House policy that is herd immunity. These rallies and White House events are deliberate attempts to spread the disease. I see this attempt to create anger and hate in the America public as a prelude to attacking another country for their wealth and oil, what it make take for another round of free stimulus money.
@@heatherm2140: I can't relate to cat bumholes, but, and I mean butt, here in Niagara Falls there are a lot of skunks along the sidewalk beside the Falls, and I like to hassle them until they turn around and lift up their tail. When i say skunks I saw eleven as a group.
“… so in moments like these, I am humbly reminded of how priviledged my life is.” The ultimate humblebrag, then?
Oh so "humbly" rubbing everybody's miserable noses in her privileged life in times like these... SMH
Stephen: (dabs) Me: Dad, you’re so embarrassing.
And yet we love him for it.
Fourteen billion dollars could feed and house a lot of people, as well as pay for their utilities and groceries; maybe even give some folks some of those mythical bootstraps with which to pull themselves up.
Or a few of Kim Kardashian's parties
That doesnt need to come from the election spending
Yeah, but they don't have $$$ for universal health care.
It's not like that money didn't get spent and enter the economy... It was used to pay people. Swing states in particular get large amounts of money during election years.
N j
I feel like his wife being there gives him such a boost in energy and it's so damn cute.
Their relationship makes me believe in love
@@Chxrlotte I hope you find love.
@@nataliedelagrandiere4022 thank u Natalie
I thought you were talking about Trump and was going to let you know Melania gives him boosts of energy because it reminds him of what Russia is going to do to him once he loses this election.
4:34 He wanted to be...a lumberjack!
Everybody: "The U.S. is recording 500,000 new Covid cases last week alone!!" Trump Cultists: "H O A X ! ! !"
Fans of the real world: ... HOLY SHIT !!!
My favorite thing about watching Stephen is the way he still makes his wife laugh. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Jon Stewart and his family a few times and he has the same vibe. Genuinely funny down to earth people. Keep up the good work.
"I didn't want to be a politician!" - Trump.... THEN WHY DID YOU RUN?! {we know why Power & Money}
As a film history teacher, I really appreciated that "Train entering the station" joke.
?? Which movie or documentary is that clip from?
@@taistanback2054 If I recall correctly, it was the first motion picture ever shown to an audience.
C'mon Jacque, release the director's cut.
@@taistanback2054 Train entering some french station by the Lumier bros. Legend has it, when they showed it to the public, they ran out of the theater screaming, thinking they were going to get run over by a train.
@@taistanback2054 Actually, that's not "a clip from" a movie. That *is* the entire movie, just a train arriving at a station. 50 seconds long, you can watch it here: kzhead.info/sun/ZMigfKl8m3ial6M/bejne.html
Evie's giggling at her husband's jokes in the background is so heartwarming, that I almost don't want it to end. That love and support is endearing.
I agree. It literally makes me smile every single time.
Late to the party tonight, Stephen, but this cheered me up to no end! Thanks!
i said this over at the Seth Meyers’ camp: fellas - please consider keeping this dynamic of Colbert with his wife and a few producers. it’s sooo nice to digest this way! no WOOOOOOs , whistles and hollers from a crowd! but I get it.. with Seth sitting it makes more sense, Stephen stands and moves around so often and I can understand how the energy from the crowd is seen as fuel. people who have ever spent time onstage get it. keep doing what you’re doing guys it’s AWESOME. maybe keep Miss Evie as Stephen’s foil in a directors chair where he’ll play and mug to her as an audience proxy.
As a young person, I feel confident we will be the change. I have hope in my generation.
Yes. But it may come too late. We don't vote enough
@@duckyboi3922 lets start voting more then cjdjdjdndjsn
That's what I thought when I fought for the right to vote at 18 in 1970. But, I have renewed hope with this next generation. So, all you young people, just get out there and vote for our future.
The boomers said the same thing, and look at them now.
Evie is so cute laughing in the background, she makes me laugh too lol.
I have the same impact...... it would not be the same without her giggle in the background. definitely.
Funny - I made a similar comment. Watch your back, John Batiste ; ) I miss John (Jon?)
Agreed. They have such a great relationship. Very inspiring.
I love when Stephen looks over at her after he tells a joke. Especially when a joke is bad. Lol
I love her giggles 🤭
I love hearing his wife laugh at his jokes in the background. It’s so sweet 💗
I was just looking for a comment about Evie. They are so adorable!
I really hope the US gets this election right...and without violence.
Hello from chch! I'm afraid to say that, as a self-diagnosed pessimist, both those things aren't possible. They either vote for Biden, or hundreds die in violent riots.
We will all be sitting on the edge of our seats watching the results come in, locked safely inside. We may not even know the same night who won. I never want to go through this again.
I can't wait to watch the fireworks. And the shootings, looting and general anarchy. With a big tub of popcorn.
Don’t cross your fingers too hard.. the US Capital Establishment that props up trump has sponsored most dictators and fascist states over the past 150 yrs..
I hope that the candidate who actually gets the most votes gets the job this time.
YOU CANNOT JUST VOTE. YOU HAVE TO GET OTHERS TO GO OUT & VOTE. *Biden 2020*. *Biden President*.
@Greg Bors And wear a mask when you do vote in person, btw people when you dont cover your nose with the mask, you might as well not wear a mask. Be responsible, cover your face!
@Greg Bors michael McIntyre
*unless you live in the midwest and everyone you know is Republican.
@motmus mom Actually I would rather have a potato over either option, that potato will probably get just as much done, but since a potato isnt on the ballot the best option is Joe. Regardless, my comment never said who to vote for, only to vote responsibly. Wearing a mask, and wearing it correctly, isnt some sort of social protest. Not wearing a mask is putting your loved ones and community in danger. Its not impacting your freedom. It is obvious Trump supporters dont care about other peoples lives, but I live in a red state, and 99% of my family vote red. I might want to slap them, but I still love them, and as much as I joke about the same with Trump supporters on here, I also dont want to see them hurt or hurt someone they love.
Trump 🇺🇸❤️
Is it weird to have replayed "That is dope to the WAP my tubular younglings" about 736 times? Asking for a friend.
Steve, it's: "Someone pissing down my back and telling me it's raining".
Mrs Colbert laughing and him smiling proudly at her laughing brings me so much joy I’m weak🥺😍
Seems that every time Trump says "we're rounding the corner", there's yet another corner just around the corner. We must be living in a hypercube.
kzhead.info/sun/dNOkZ8uZpWSkpY0/bejne.html
We are going in circles
@@duckyboi3922 actually it's a cube.
we live in a weird 20th dimension space, or at least he does
😂😂😂😂😂
The best thing ever is when Stephen's wife is there, laughing in the background. Seriously, I love it. Make her a permanent fixture, plz :)
“You get to go to the White House! Where they’ll have plenty of covfefe, Big Macs and KFC.”
Mmhhh.... KFC!
I will use “Dope to the WAP” from now on in my everyday life.
thats tubular fam! hope you get your groove on!
🤣🤣🤣OMG me too!😂
(high five)lol
there is no virus - its an fear mongering agenda to vaccinate and rfid microchip you
Why? It has no meaning.
I find it adorable that his wife laughs at his jokes. That’s how you know the love is real.
"No one's done less for women's liberation than I have."
I laugh when when Evie laughs- her mirth is contagious.
He claimed victory in 1972 when he was sued for racism in his apartment building in New York.
He (and his dad and their company) settled, as he's settled so many cases. That's not victory.
Guilty people don’t settle idiot. They win and are exonerated, but nice try dummy.
@Doug Smithart what? We are saying the same thing. Trump is guilty. Innocent people don’t settle, they win. Trump settling shows he guilty and is avoiding a harsher punishment that he would be given if the trial went on.
VOTE! while you are still allowed to, as if your life depends on it, because.it.does.
Biden will crash the economy, then Harris will fly off on her broom.
I can’t believe how the Trumps can not be going in to hiding after being so horribly embarrassed 😩 They should never show their faces except at a trial against humanity. Calling them humans is a slap in the face to the rest of us. Shame on us for not caring sooner
"In moments like this I'm so humbled to be able to eat a fat juicy steak in front of all these starving people, then tell them how good it tastes while burping on their faces" Kim Kardashian
Good luck America. The rest of the world is watching. You can either live up to the ideals you've espoused, or fail spectacularly.
You are a legend!
👏👏👏👏
Bank on the latter. Trump is winning this election. Hook or crook, he is staying in office and each day it is looking more crook.
Oh sis, yeah...were gonna fail...
Yes. Or be thwarted by the first American dictator in the history of America.....
“I never wanted to be a politician” says the man that is doing everything in his power to stay relevant.
maybe if he had not spent three years golfing and tweeting he would not have to have superspreader cult rallies.
Considering he's barely done the job can he really be considered President? It's like someone who got the title and didn't do much else.
@@spiceyhotpot reminds me of the saying - i'm here 8 hours a day , what more do you want ? we had a saying in the marines - when a person could not do their job they were on the sick , lame , lazy or crazy list . frump checks all the boxes .
@@mrwascallyt9865 agreed, it's like the ultimate Participation Trophy, for showing up
He wants ANYTHING that keeps him out of JAIL.
Obama: calls Trump & Kanye jackasses years ago. Today: we get Trump & Kanye running. Please Obama don’t insult anyone, it has too much power.
I watched the "slam" so many times because it made me laugh so much - what a great line!! Keep rolling out those jokes!
Makes me mad that this grifter will be given secret service when he is out of office.
Unless they do the right thing and lock him up
Moffix -- Keep in mind that they'll be the ones who stop him if he tries to flee the country with secrets to sell.
Let’s hope the secret services hands him over to the prison guards.
Miles Taylor is a true American patriot. “To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” ―President Theodore Roosevelt
He is smart. Better to jump ship early. Every other staff in trump’s White House will have problems getting jobs once the clown is out. No one would hire a ex-clown house employee.
He is a grifter.
Wordrd
A "True American Patriot" wouldn't have written a book titled "Anonymous" nearly 2 yrs ago, and continue to lie in the shadows....He should've testified with all the other real patriots at the Ukraine/Impeachment hearings. How many have jumped ship in only the last 2 weeks? Too little, too late, I say....good luck , stay safe, and vote Blue...all the way down the ballot.
I actually read the entirety of that Anonymous book. It was.........utterly predictable. It was an alright read tbh, but I was being convinced of things I had long since been convinced of. And...months ago I soused out who the author was. I'm kinda happy it's him...as I think he's a truly ethical smart human. It's frustrating though.....this is NOT some big reveal. It will mean jack shit NOW. He should have come out LONG ago. _Maybe_ then it could have made a difference....
"Miles Taylor...?" " _who the F0ck is THAT?_ " HAhahaha 😂🤣😂
Stephen, you and your dear wife Evie are a grand team,that brings light and laughter into our lives! God bless you!
Stephen Colbert all the way people! 🤗
Hey Trump, don't go into politics......IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A POLITICIAN. Go back to being the grifter and mobster you always were.
Hey. Keep voting for live long politicians while asking for change. ROFL.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 that washing machine joke almost killed me
"Walking out with washing machines!"? I missed that one, and I don't know how much more proof people need to see this "stable genius" being more like what is on the stable floor!
Good turn of phrase! Thanks!
Trump doesn't know what a washing machine looks like
Ever heard of a dolly cart you old hag
@@donsaul5861 ever heard of a dolly cart idiot.
Y’all just feed off any word he says that you don’t have context to understand. Y’all are like leaches. Just as fking stupid as the people who thought Trump meant the coyotes were crossing children across the border
I love his wife giggling in the background like she hasn't already heard the jokes.
It's all in the delivery.😊
True love:)) relationship goals for sure
She has taken over Jon Batiste's job of laughing about his jokes. We all have to make sacrifices in these times.
I’d giggle a lot too if my husband was raking in $14 million per year.😃
she probably hasn’t hed prob want her to see the material first time on air
"Got in a fistfight with one of the Lumiere brothers, release the director's cut, c'mon Jacque!" LOLLLLLLLL
Your so funny I love your show, watch on internet in the morning so I àm in a good mood all day , thanks
When the pandemic is over, can your wife be a permanent sidekick? Like your Ed McMahon?
Yes, please. I listen for her laugh!
I second that! 👍🏻😁
Like Kimmel's Guillermo.
Yes,yes,yes. I love her laugh. It makes me happy and I haven’t been so happy this year.
You mean VINCE McMahon haha
Stephen is my only smile of the day
Add 'The Stephanie Miller Show' on FreeSpeech.org, Rachel Maddow on MSNBC AND on KZheads 'Beau of the Fifth Column'. Those three people and Stephen keep me sane
Yes I agree. I’ve just found his channel . He’s a funny bloke.
@@susanbrown2909 kzhead.info/sun/dMl7kdacpGWYa5E/bejne.html
I have been appreciating YT show Uhnhhh on Wow Presents. It's given me tons of laughs in quarantine
That beard...yikes. Corona is all in that beard giving out hugs to the crowd.
Seriously. Way to undercut your team's victory by behaving like a jackass...
“Beloved” fantastic 4 series...
Hearing the WH has an Office of Science and Technology is kinda like hearing Donnie has a personal trainer. It sounds like something that should be right... but every indication is that it can't be.
The office of science and technology is just a baking sofa volcano and an x-box
Hahahaha! I needed this.
06:13 Stephen’s pronunciation of “three” ~ priceless!! 😂
14 billion dollars . 🤦🏻♀️ What a sad waste of money. The American political system needs an overhaul.
I'm getting anxious and stressed out already . It's been a lonnnnng 4 yrs. Dear Lord,help Biden win. We've had enough of corruption and greed ,& criminality.
I feel the same way. Had to up my medication, just to get through the following week. Please hang in there. This administration of doom has every on edge.
I agree. This year was the worst of the four years. It's been stressful. I try to be happy and make this new way of life somewhat normal for my 3 young boys. But it's hard. I am hoping for change under new administration. Gotta vote him out!
Agreed- this last year has been exhausting. And I don't have it nearly as bad as some people. I also don't think that Biden is going to be an end to government corruption.....but I am hopeful that he can bring it back down to pre 2016 levels. You know its bad when the world of 2015 starts to look like a comparative utopia.
Trust me, I don't live in the US, but the guy is just exhausting
"Andy Griffith" - the smalltown policeman/sheriff who is *not carrying a gun* , and that in on one episode explained that if he had been, he "never could be sure if people respected [him], and not just the gun"... *that* Andy Griffith?
I'm trying to figure out if the Andy Griffith reruns are a recent push, with Trump trying to regain a batch of the seniors whose votes he lost. If he's been doing it all along -- why the hell? Early on, everyone would have figured that seniors were easily all Trump voters!
No The Andy Gritth who was in a movie about a criminal who is given the platform by the media to angrily speak his mind on how America has done down hill. The criminals angry nonsensical rants lead him to become a celebrity across America and make the media a lot of money, so much so that they give him his on tv show to sell shity products and marries a girl who is 30 years younger then him, and gains a cult of angery white Americans. Realizing America was his sheep, he gains apparitions for going into politics, leading the media to realize they created a monster they couldn’t stop. That Andy Griffith Edit: the film I’m taking about is A face in the Crowd by the way
You mean the fictional show Andy Grifith?
Also they probably didn’t have guns because the Mayberry police department had some pretty dumb unthreatening wimpy Cops. I can’t imagine Don knots or ESPECIALLY Gomer know how to use one,let alone know how to use one.
The original show had moonshiners and Otis, the town drunk. They should do a reboot. This time Mayberry has a meth and opiate epidemic.
Bless the net and Stephen.
I’m soooo glad that you are above the players on the field
1,000+ Americans died of Covid yesterday. Trump: "The pandemic is over! Mission accomplished!"
What is it about US presidents shouting 'Mission Accomplished' when just starting to set foot into, and creating a world of trouble, hey?
Drumpf is a delusional idiot.
2,750 died in Europe yesterday for 225,000 cases and 2,500 today with 246,000 cases for 750,000,000 people. 2.3 times more people. So Europe, South America and Asia just as bad too. Actually Europe is epically bad. What am I talking about? Asia is second. Then it’s USA but South America and Central has lots of Covid too. Australia, New Zealand and almost all 57 countries of Africa. Say 50. Have like no Covid-19. A miracle from heaven.
@@toooldforthisshte1681 Here comes the nail on the coffin big bird. Belgium, Spain, The United Kingdom, Italy, Sweden and France also have had similar death rates to Americas 700 deaths per million and they can challenge the 70,000 per capita GDP. USD that is. Also 9 other Latin American countries just as bad death rates and infection rate. Brazil and Mexico match this death rate yet Brazil is pushing 750 soon. Any more questions big Bird LongHorn?
@P B Hong Kong, Vietnam, Taiwan, Cambodia, Thailand, Laos, South Korea, Malaysia and Myanmar. Sorry Covid-19? What is this? How do u get this? Can u explain more? We puzzeled. Waa Waa Weee. Everybody always challenges USA moral and health authority in the world with their 70,000 usd gdp per capita and say the death rate is unacceptable. But always remember the 6. And for the record I don’t know how Germany dodged this 600 per million death rate epic disaster but their still much under it at, wait for it. 120. Ducking Germans. Always playing dirty. Honour to be on that list the 5 pride countries of riches in Western Europe and Germany skips school for the day for such a distinguishable mention. Shameful 😔
Your slams dance ALWAYS makes me laugh, no matter what mood I'm in. Thanks! I so need a laugh.
... The missus is a lucky woman...😍
My daughter is in New Orleans and had to go get tested two weeks ago at one of those 'field hospitals in a parking lot'. Given the circumstances, i'm just grateful she had access at all.
"Dope to the WAP my tubular younglings" made me laugh so hard 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"That is dope to the WAP, my tubular younglings." Nothing like having to go immediately back in the video thinking "Did I hear that right?"
That response surprised me too. I hope I’m still youngling enough to enjoy a dope WAP.
Do you think he knows?
@@Stethacanthus surely
I had to go back three times to see I’d really heard that right..😳😄
Colbert's giggling wife in the background makes the show for me. I prefer the intimate setting to the live audience. Great stuff.
carrying a washing machine? All I got to do is figure out how to get it through the door with my hands around it :)
"Eat Momma T's dust..." That Kardashian being humble bit had to be the funniest thing ever!
A message from the U.K. The whole world will be waiting with baited breath for the result in the American elections. Waiting to see if America has brought sanity back into the world. To re-elect Trump is beyond madness, to re-elect Trump shown that Americans haven’t learned their lesson and are not ready to climb out of the cesspit Trump has turned America into. For the love of everything holly, let’s not have another 4yrs of this lunacy, you’re better than that America.
If he wins, can I come over there?? Like I’m plotting what to do if he wins lol... oh so sad...
Maria Arakat I’ll pay for your one way ticket
right back at you. You know you have a literal Johnson as your prime minister, right?
@@darthknightwingphoenix2081 Yeah but we all know he's a clown, It was unfortunate there was no-one better at the time to run our Country and like Trump is running into the ground.
@@mariaarakat8823 Sorry if you have a US Passport. You're not allowed in. but we would gladly have you to save you from insanity
"I've never wanted to be a conman but to be honest it was meant to be the moment I was born!" - the conman.
Are you saying that's a quote?
@@bluepuppy1139 kzhead.info/sun/dMl7kdacpGWYa5E/bejne.html
Mr Colbert, you had me with "my tubular younglings."
The low key laughing in the background makes these videos so much better.
Agreed: there is a layer of welcoming warmth and sincere humor when his wife laughs with him and at the jokes. These 2 together are what we need more of. 👍💚
I just love how Trump campaigns for Biden every chance he gets.
It's almost like he secretly wants Biden to win.
@@rebecca8525 Even Melania voted for Biden!
@@ChandlerSomborac Because she wants to leave the White House
Loving the slam and dance! 😅🤣😂
David Geffen's yacht episode last spring ended up w him being publicly shamed all over every news outlet, causing him to shut down his IG account in shame and embarrassment, Kim Kardashian does something a million times more grotesque, same shaming from the media, and she just doubles down and keeps flaunting it. She has no shame.
You have such a wonderful wife. She loves the hell out of you. She laughs at your jokes. And supports everything you do. And are. You’re such a lucky man! My dude!
She’s my favourite cast member. 🥰
As a non American I just want to scream: IT’S NOT THE WORLD SERIES IF ITS ONLY FIR AMERICAN TEAMS. THAT’S THE NATIONAL SERIES.
well, there's one Canadian team, so technically it spans international borders. But it all seriousness, yeah, that's always confused me too.
If *that* gets you riled up, don't ever watch Sunday Night Hot-Potato... er, Football. 🤣
Like how we wish that Americans would call soccer 'football' like the rest of the English speaking world. FYI we call what Americans call 'football' ... 'American football.' Doesn't American football involve the use of hands?
@@mikoto7693 this is a different story
@@mikoto7693 Idk why we do that. I hate american football anyway. It should be named: We will pay you a lot of money to have brain damage and die at a very young age, and damage other people's brains.
I am liking the laugh track you are adding to the monologue.
I NEED A GIF OF STEPHEN GOING FROM THE VULCAN SALUTE TO A DAB OH MY GOD
Dab kzhead.info/sun/h9JmZ9WQq6ubbJE/bejne.html Top 10 most followed person on twitter This video consists the list or count down of top 10 most followed persons on twitter Including Barak Obama Justin Bieber Katy Perry Taylor swift Rihanna and others
gifs.com/gif/vulcandab-7146yB
It’s now too late in many states to mail-in your ballot!! If you still haven’t mailed your ballot, take it straight to the voting office in your city or county!! They are doing all they can to make ballots that don’t arrive by Tuesday to NOT COUNT!!!
I regret holding a full cup of hot tea during "Come on, Jacques!"
Hahaha😂
He had me cryin laughing when he said that!😂😂😂
Colbert: Oh well. I need my coffee.
2:16 just had me rip my eyes out and then laugh so goddamn hard 😂
Lumiere Brothers... Woo! That's a deep cut that had me laughing in my deep gut.
"...get all your lady-chores done - like voting for Joe Biden" 👍👍👍
2:16 Who is this hip, energetic, young hooligan and what has he done with Stephen?
I think he might be day drinking to get through this election cycle?
"Husbands back to work"!??? My JOB Dufus!
"Dope to the WAP" reminds me of when I used to say "YOLO SWAG" to my nephew all the time to drive him nuts 😆😆
I love this man and how his wife is his audience every night. Thanks to them and Sebastian Maniscalco I'm staying semi sane.
kzhead.info/sun/hL6iqa-yboShpas/bejne.html 1
I can't wait for 4 more years of Stephen's aviators! Please vote!
“...Now hand me the pokey stick...”. 🤣