Relationship & Trauma Coach Sadia Khan on Untempered Podcast: WE NEED TO KNOW THIS ABOUT TRAUMA!
2023 ж. 10 Шіл.
444 892 Рет қаралды
Sadia sits down with Naila in a one on one private session to discuss childhood trauma. What she reveals is astounding .
Host's Instagram @naila
Sadia Khan: @sadiapsychology
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Follow out IG @itsuntempered to get updates and sneak peaks of new episodes!! Part 2 maybe? I think Sadia needs to come back
Bring her back! 🫶🏼
YES PLEASE! Listening again today!
yessssssssss , this podcast is a viral sound on tiktok so its a must
Having a parent watching you in pain and not offering a hand is a trauma , I felt this 💔
Yes that was my entire childhood. Today at 60 I am minimal contact with my Narc family and I am healing. They ruined my life.
same my dad was a dick. i told him what happened at school one day and at pick up all he did was flirt with my preschool teacher after. He told me he handled it and assumed because I was 4 I didn't know what he actually did.
I felt that deep in my heart too my heart just sank
Or not being allowed to acknowledge any pain other than physical pain and even that was to be essentially ignored until it goes away.
@@truwin37 maybe your kid doesn't trust you with their feelings? I'm not there so idk. Just something to consider.
As a man I don’t see many women on these podcasts admitting her faults, trauma and being accountable. Very courageous!
You’ll always see what you want to see just like everyone else. I see so many podcasts on both women and men having important discussions like never before and it’s actually exciting to see & to learn from but It’s hard enough for us to see and acknowledge our own issues (we all have them) and even harder to change our behavior like for us to worry about who’s keeping up. Just because we are doing the work doesn’t mean others are ready also. Many discussions are happening and opening the doors for many things to improve even if it gets messy in the beginning, it’s happening! Be excited! Don’t fall for the victim mentality, or the need for validation, it will stop you from seeing the big picture & even discourage you from working on yourself.
❤ yes. I see a lot of blaming and no accountability also. I think the women who are admitting and accepting their faults are not posting but in therapy and working on themselves. ❤
Nobody wants to admit faults because society pusjes us to be perfect, especially women. Flawless.
That is unfortunate but it also comes from not being aware and/or being in denial. This is how healing begins. However it is a long process but you are right.
No one Amrit their faults. It’s not gendered
I think this was a therapy session for everyone. Thank you so, so, so much for this.
This is MIND BLOWING. I went through almost the same childhood. Please have her again someday and talk about those who are still struggling to get into a safe relationship. Because they they believe they are hard to love and always sabotage their relationships in the first place.
I got together with a beautiful soul and things were great for a while until she out of nowhere broke up with me. I know after seeing this video and also other videos that she is scared and is self sabotaging. We are still talking and seeing eachother but not as a couple anymore. I really love this woman with all my heart and I feel that she really loves me with all her heart aswell but she just can’t be in a relationship because it’s scary. We had an argument a couple days back and we are currently in no contact (this was her choice to stay in no contact). I am holding myself from texting her or calling her. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I want to make this work and I know she has issues and so do I. We are all human. My friends and family tell me I should leave her and be at peace because she is broken but I don’t see it that way. But it sometimes feels like the more I love her the more she gets scared. But then she comes back and loves me hard for a while to then back away again. I feel so lost I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry for posting I just needed to write this and hopefully someone can help me understand her better.
@@samizadi6379 I my opinion you both need to go for individual therapy and then couple therapy, If you both genuinely want to get along. please do that. It will definitely help you.
@@samizadi6379 Im so sorry to hear that I am going through a similar situation but in my situation I am the one who constantly breaking up 💔 Could she be your twin flame
You aren't alone. ❤
@@HHHondaHHHHey! Yeah she keeps trying to end it but she can’t. She just said on facetime that she has never felt this love before and she is being serious. Every person she left before me she did it easily but with me it’s impossible. What is your situation like? Why can’t you leave your partner/ex?
This was the most communicative, bonding, revealing and in the end healing of all Sadia's interviews I've ever watched. This woman is beyond exceptional. Sadia sees people. That's not skill. That's a gift.
She's extremely gifted and sees the macro view of why we often sabotage our love lives and is able to put in words our experiences.
Sadia always delivers. Its always a pleasure to listen two well-spoken women, no interruptions, straight to the point. Love it!
This is the example of a high value woman who see sense rather than talk her mouth with air....
@@kjp88 lol, since when women +30 are high value?
@@elninokodak9995 do you really understand what a high value woman means?
@@kjp88 You can be a wise, grown woman, but it doesnt make you "high value" in the market. Men prioritize innocence, just because its so rare these days. All women are high value by default, the value just drops down as years pass by. No man needs a woman with a huge emotional baggage. I have 0 resentment towards women, i just tell you how it is. The truth is that most men are simps, therefore women have 0 problems landing a guy that would take care of them. - but in a long run it usually doenst satisfy those women/doesnt make them feel fullfilled
Kjp88 I don't think you know why what a high value woman is.
I've literally been crying through the whole thing. This is so healing, thank you for speaking about it. I've experienced similar situations and was always ashamed of sharing this with people as what you mostly hear from guys is "these are damaged people, stay away". So so healing. Thank you.
You know people don't understand and we can't expect them to. As a married woman myself they best advice I can give is until you got a ring on the finger don't talk about the abuse. Just talk about the good parts in life and ask them questions about their life. That way they get to know you because we are not just identified by our trama. Then later when they are invested you can open up. If they ask you can say you weren't ready to share this with anyone. Only people close to you know about this. Most people will not understand how evil parents are or if you hate your parents like I do. Even with counciling I still resent them as well as they embarrass me. I don't have them in my life and pray they die soon because I don't ever want to deal with them again. And if anyone judges me about how I feel I say FU you were not tortured by your own blood and don't know shit. I am the good person not them for getting the H away from them and not treating people as poorly as they do! I hate people that think it's the person's reactions that are bad well then you don't like my reaction then don't piss me off. Simple!
Can really relate. Totally agree with being there for young kids & empathing emotions.
@michellemyers8583 you dont think a guy is going to feel manipulated or lied to by you waiting till hes invested?
Me too I’m over here balling.. I’m almost thinking how they mentioned the medicine.
We need Sadia to be a recurring guest for a series on this podcast with Naila. This has been beautiful, enlightening, informative, all of the good things about learning about the Self and healing.
❤
Simp…. Lol that is such a weak man’s comment …
Couldn't agree more
Childhood trauma is the main reason what we faced in our adulthood
I cried a lot at the beginning… then I wiped my tears, opened my notepad and started taking notes 📝 thank you so much for this conversation 🙏🏿
This feedback is why I love having these conversations. Thank you so much for listening
@@UntemperedPodcast thanks for creating the environnement for these conversations to happen 🙏🏿I’m in a my thirties too and I wished I had listen to a conversation like this before 🙏🏿I would have helped me a lot 🙏🏿Thanks again for everything you got a new subscriber ♥️🙏🏿
same omgg
Yep same here!
Single mom here with a traumatic childhood. My mother was traumatized and passed it down onto me. She used to tie me to the lemon tree in the front yard when I was two years old because she was terrified to hold me in fear, she would hurt me somehow. I just went into survival mode and raised my son for the last 17 years and never focused on myself, only him and made sure he had everything he needs! I got us Disneyland passes when he was little, and we went almost daily. One day he looked up at me and said, "mommy, can we just go home?" I realized in that very moment that I didn't want to go home. Home for me was a place of fear growing up, a place I spent years trying to get out away from. I knew at that moment I needed to stop running. The pandemic lockdown forced me to stay home for two years and in those years, I created a beautiful, safe environment for the both of us. Today, I love being home and I am now becoming healthy, focusing on myself again...thank you both for this podcast and video!
I liked it when she said “we live in a world where entertainment rather than improvement is what’s we’re focusing on “ ,, so deep ✨
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, I am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, I love her so much, i don't know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
But why did they leave? Women tell men over and over and OVER until finally they are done.
I often have that feeling.... feeling lonely in a crowded room even in my marriage....
Sadia described my life and psychology so accurately in the first 16 minutes... wow. I'm working so hard on healing.
Wow this really opened my eyes to how much childhood trauma I actually have, I'll be working to fix that. I'm so grateful for this podcast for making me aware
What will be even greater is a healthy partner who is aware with the insecurities of their partner and helps them overcome it or heal (as long as there is will from both sides)
I wish I could get a therapy session with Sadia.I need her in my life right now! My boyfriend of 4yrs woke up and went to work one morning last month, and just never came home. There was no discussion, there was no argument… In fact, he was intimate with me the morning that he left. We had just signed a lease together in this apartment, and we have been living together already for over two years. I found out that he quit his job and he moved to another state. I am devastated. I was completely blindsided by this. And it brings back all of the trauma and abuse issues from my childhood. I don’t know what to do to make this pain go away . 😞
I feel so bad I'm so sorry I hope you can heal and figure out how to move on, I think god planed for you to hear this podcast so it may help you.
Thank you 🤗 @@hammernail8232
Im sending love n light your way......I'm hoping u are healing ❤️
I am. Thank you ☺ @@zsuzsibumgarner2522
Don’t worry honey the best thing to do is to choose yourself , happy and focuse on work ❤
I felt like Sadia was talking to me personally. This hit me right where I live. Amazing interview / therapy session.
The hosts childhood was my exact childhood, and im only now realizing how many of my friendships and false start relationships were ended because of my avoidance. I mistook so many trivial situations as confirmation that the person didnt actually like me. The rough part of that is I caused my own anguish. Had I just known I was misreading other peoples actions, I wouldnt have cut so many people off and I wouldnt be feeling so alone. I dont blame my parents because Im older now and know they were just flawed and didn't know the impact of their actions (therapy was not a thing back then), but Im not sure why I can't grant the same empathy for myself. I too was doing the best I knew how. Theres this thing I heard a psychilogist say once but its something like 10% of our brain is conscious thinking, while the other 90% is subconscious. I dont know if thats actually true, but what i do know is theres a part of me im not able to tap into that doesnt believe people will love me no matter how much i try to fight this belief
Maybe it’s not about fighting the belief but accepting it. Like: of course I’d feel this way given my background but what if that belief isn’t true? What if I’m easy to love? What if I can let people love me? What if it’s safe for me to be loved? What if it’s ok to forgive myself? What if it’s ok to open my heart just a little? What if? (Affirmations in question form tend to be easier for the subconscious because the brain goes looking for an answer rather than fighting something). I say this as someone who’s struggled with the same issue so I’ll be repeating those myself 😅 You can also do it with EFT tapping and that can help too. We all did the best we could! There are wonderful people in our future too! 💓🌟
I’m right there with you and it’s a constant struggle to work hard towards change and healing. Never stop working on it, sending you love. I’m right there too
You are enough, you are lovable, you belong! Love yourself to the core. It’s a process , God loves you!🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️👍👍👍🥰
I'm With you and still now coping with it and this is enlightening. It's Just for me it's difficult to trust and be in a relationship. I feel peace when I'm alone and single.
Thank you for this, wow👏👏
Man.. if this isn’t a fact. 2 broken parents. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Education is priceless. We got to start breaking generational curses and healing.
agree
Tuning out is a trauma response.. wow, been questioning this from a long time.. makes so much sense
Wow really love how sadia described childhood trauma and self soothing. Neglect causes trauma. This is such good content! And being a tramatised child I found this so helpful. I've been learning that you attract what your familiar to but what can you do to overcome this and end these patterns, I have abandonment issues too but have become as independent as I can and think I may also be avoidant, how can I make myself feel more safe and secure?
Self love affirmations.
I now watch a sadia post almost daily to help with my innner work . She is so incredibly experienced in emotional and social psychology. It has been and does give me greater understanding and so much more hope so thanks ❤
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my KZhead channel 6 months ago about self development. Now I have 381 subs and > 100 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.
I'm lucky to say that my both parents loved me as much as they could in their capacity. My trauma has been formed as an adult from my X husband which had triggered fear and low esteem .
I wish you had found a man who loved you as much as your parents did.
@@UmarMunir94 Thanks
This is the weirdest podcast I have ever randomly found myself watching. I have never even heard of your podcast. How did we have the same childhood AND the exact same postpartum experience? 😅 I relate to you so hard, the way you cope, the wosdom you've gleaned, and the woundology you carry. ❤
Having a parent that invalidates your trauma makes me question my sanity but this video is super informative and I’ll have to re watch it many times!
Thank you for this amazing convo naila you’re amazing ❤
Thank YOU. 🙌
Thank you, Sadia. Dios los bendiga y proteja siempre
I recently found Sadia and IT have been amazing conversations every single time. This is my favorite interview so far. Keep spreading the love Sadia!
try richard cooper the unplugged alpha. Trauma is an excuse
How did you find her??
Such a valuable conversation, I wish I could have heard it 20 years ago.
I was so afraid that taking medication would make me worse until I tried it and in the first week I experienced such calm around my brain, I could focus and be more present and it gave me an advantage in my mental health journey and it certainly helped with unwanted thoughts. I definitely sleep better. I feel much less anxious. I take 50 mil of Zoloft and I’m so glad I took a leap of faith to try it. ❤ It can definitely help in your trauma healing journey. I suffered for so many years with complex trauma from a child to 48 years old. I finally reached out and tried something different at the urging of my friends and family to see a doctor. God uses doctors to assist us! Don’t be afraid to see a psychiatrist and get some therapy! Sometimes just sharing the stuff that were so afraid of what people might think to a complete stranger (therapist, doctor) can bring freedom and a level of healing and deliverance. Get that stuff off your chest with someone skilled to help you.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So much hitting home! Thank you 4 making this episode!
Thank you so much for this podcast! Please continue to do more!
Wow. This is so good. Thank you Sadia.
Sadia is definitely one of the most inteligent and brilhant women I ever met in all my life. She speaks facts to both sides.
Thank you for speaking out about this. Great questions and answers
Magnificent talk, magnificent studio/sound/picture. A very promising channel is born! Congrats! We love Sadia!
No one has a traumaless childhood. Just because there may not have been any physical violence, there will have been mental emotional programming (although well intentioned) will not have been in alignment. No two individuals are the same. What works for one doesn't work for another. This is why siblings differ so. Our individual perception is unique to us. Just consider what wasn't 'fair' growing up. How did you feel invalidated? Something you may consider a non issue can be highly stressful to another. We all need to work in our own triggers no matter how insignificant we/others think they are. There is always a root cause. 🙏
This is my favorite podcast I’ve heard Sadlia on -- your authenticity set the stage for an insightful talk! Subscribed to hear more because of your authenticity! 🙏
Thank you so much. I hope you continue to follow and listen. Sending you love and gratitude.
I can relate so much! It takes a lot of courage to address that inner child that needs our attention in order to grow and be open to authentic love. Thanks for sharing!!
Thank you! I needed to hear this 🙏🥹
Just found your channel and I couldn’t have related any better. Thank you for being very open 💖
Set healthy boundaries, for oneself and become aware of the people who will Respect & Love one for been themself. Hell they might even apologize if they accidentally cross the line. So, it is very important to clear;y communicate ones needs and then the lines do not become blurred. Triggers : Save One Self from quickly finding one self crossing into the more dangerous territory of getting burned out. This even includes the fact one could feel they are been taken advantage of and so neglect own needs. Tips on How to Communicate Boundaries ... ( Ten as follows) 1. Time Boundary “I can only stay for an hour” or “If you’re going to be late, please let me know ahead of time.” 2. Energy Boundary “I don’t have the energy to help you with [their request] right now, but maybe [this resource] can help.” 3. Emotional Dumping “I understand you’re having a hard time and I want to be there for you, but I don’t have the emotional capacity to listen right now.” 4. Personal Space Boundary “It makes me feel uncomfortable when you [touch or action]. If you can’t respect my space, I’ll have to leave.” 5, Conversational Boundary “This is not a topic I’m willing to discuss right now.” 6. Comment Boundary “I don’t find those types of comments funny.” 7. Mental Boundary “I understand we see things differently and I respect your opinion, but please don’t force it on me.” 8. Material Boundary “Please ask me first before borrowing my [possession]” or “I would appreciate it if you didn’t touch my [material thing].” 9. Social Media Boundary “I don’t feel comfortable with you posting that on Instagram.” 10. Reiterate and Uphold the Boundaries ...
Thank you for these sample scripts, big help. 😇
Thank you so much for this conversation. Everything makes so much more sense.
This was amazing thank you!!
I just drop hundreds tears because finally someone understood how I been treated all this long years growing up with emotional distance mother because of father abused us. I would really like to meet you, we have the same life. Sooo sad, you are mine
This is the best thing I have seen in a long time. So simply described, all just makes so sense. Love it!
This is what i needed today, thank you for this conversation
I love this podcast . You’re so honest and vulnerable.. thank you!!
Thank you for this podcast! Deep respect! 👏🙏
So glad I came across this Chanel. I’m learning more and more. Thank you Sadia
the world needs more podcasts like this. Thank you Nalia for initiating this topic and inviting Sadia as guest. She is a beautiful smart women, very well-spoken, interpret every single point clearly and wholeheartedly
Omg within the first 5 minutes I felt like this was my story !!!!!! Thabk you a million for this so so insightful ❤
Excellent content! It really helped me go deep inside of me and literally look in a mirror of what I've gone thru without even knowing where it comes from
Thank you both ladies! They are great!
I loved this one, it was so educational, please bring her back again
I got here to learn about my trauma responses, and as a new mom i have learn so much more! Wow. Thank you ladies for this! Fist time ive heard both of you.
Thank you soooo much! The best information in the right time 🙏
Wow! Thank you so much for being so true to yourself and authentic - best podcast/interview yet with Sadia. Amazing host! Xx
So happy the algorithm brought this to me and that I clicked on it. This is a beautifully insightful and helpful conversation.
I cried I got educated and I got triggered , I needed to hear this so I raise better kids ! Thank you
Thank you for doing this and sharing this ❤
This was the first time I watch/listen to your podcast and this was an amazing episode. It hit ALOT of things. Thank you so much for doing this. Please have her back for part two!! I have officially subscribed to your channel.
This is so insightful. Makes me love my parents more because of the way they loved me. How lucky I was and am. I know how to do right by my own children. And understand the issues of people around me more.
Thank you soo much for this conversation. You both are awesome! God bless you!
Love podcast set. Love it. And The content has been very educational and eye opening.
What an amazing conversation . Thank you !
I cried the whole time… I relate to this so much it opened my eyes a lot thank you for this
Thank you both so much 🙌☝️
Wow this podcast really hit home in every way! Thank you so much.
I appreciate how honest you were. I really loved this. I think many people need to hear talks like this.
Awesome podcast! Thank you! Learned so much!❤
This is so incredibly important and powerful! Thank you so much!
Soothing is a real thing... I love what you said about anxious people. He trusts you are there so he doesn't call tons and we take it as abandonment..... "trust the process". I love that! Thanks so much for the clarity. I feel I understand my reactions when this happens to me.
This podcast is awesome! Thank you so much 🎉
Thanks a lot it was an amazing podcast, it definitely deserves more views !
Loved it ❤ One of the best I have ever watched. Thank you! 🙏
I am so grateful to have found your podcast. Gratitude to Naila and Sadia. LOve Tasneem
I’m so grateful to learn from Sadia in this season of my life. Thank you!!
As referenced, there’s sooo much power in vulnerability! Thank you ladies for this intellectual, emotional content gem! ❤
This is one of the best talks I've ever heard as an anxiously attached woman. Thank you!
This was probably the 1st podcast I’ve watched in full in a long time. Was so good!
I couldn’t thank you enough for this podcast I was crying the whole way through it.
Childhood trauma leads to complex PTSD in adulthood , neglect , abandonment, abuse manifest itself in emotional desregulation - as a 63 year old male I can attest to everything shared here, on behalf of others like myself I thank you from New Zealand 🤎
incredible hearing about patience and reassurance, its what my partner is trying to do- I feel abandonment very easily - its my trauma, and each time he has to remind me that he's going to be back and that separation is not abandonment.
Amazing interviewer and resource person! Thank you so much for helping me understand me and others at a much deeper level.💕
Thank you so much for this video. Just the other day I watched a video on how almost all the homeless people at skid row downtown LA have childhood trauma and just thinking how important this topic is. Childhood trauma doesn’t get talked about enough considering how much it truly impacts our lives. So much of what was discussed in this video was eye opening for me. I have a lot to work on yet still happy how far I’ve come despite the horrible trauma I’ve experienced. Praying for all who are hurt and suffering❤️
You guys!!!! thank you for talking about this topic it realy helped me in so many ways.
What an episode ❤ This really spoke to me in ways I didn't even know it would. Thank you both, specially to Naila for sharing and being so vulnerable
This was just so beautiful and healing and eye opening! I really needed this.
I am truly grateful for this. Really unpacked most of my traumas! I will sure work on myself!
Really nice, genuine conversation and topics. Thank you!
Thank you all very much, this was so helpful.
This conversation is like a therapy to me. Deeply thankful for your effort you put in this podcast and sharing the experience.
This video just changed my entire life. Thank you for blessing me.
Abandonment is a big trauma
This interview answered so many personal questions I had for myself. I am so grateful for you women. Thank you for giving me closure & knowledge.❤
i am 32 and I feel the same way. barely realizing so much trauma and hurt from my up-bringing