I spent a day with people w/ ADHD
I spent a day with people with ADHD to learn the truth about this highly misunderstood disorder (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
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🧨HUGE thank you to:
▸ JESSICA - / howtoadhd & howtoadhd.com
▸ BEX - / bex_tk & impactparents.com
▸ JOSEPH - / @jbaverage & / jbaverage
❗️ADHD RESOURCES
▸ chadd.org - Dedicated to improving the lives of people affected by ADHD.
▸ cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/index.html - Data and resources on ADHD.
🗯MORE I SPENT A DAY WITH…
▸ SCHIZOPHRENIA - • I spent a day with peo...
▸ BORDERLINE PERSONALITY (BPD) - • I spent a day with BOR...
▸ TOURETTE SYNDROME - • I spent a day with peo...
🎥Crew
▸ Creator, Director, Writer, etc. - Anthony Padilla
▸ Executive Producer - Alessandra Catanese
▸ Production Coordinator, Co-writer & Research - Elise Felber
▸ Director of Photography/Gaffer - Zach Zeidman
▸ Editor - Mike Criscimagna AKA Mork Crispy
▸ Assistant Editor - Patrick Horba
▸ Post PA / Assistant Editor - Ash Duckworth
🎵Theme Music Composer - Matt Good AKA The King of Emo
🖼Portrait painted by: Rhianna Robles - / zerogattsu
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💉Self plug
▸ / anthonypadilla
▸ / anthonypadilla
▸ / anthonypadilla
------------------------------------------
0:00 - INTRO
1:48 - SYMPTOMS
3:32 - EXPERIENCES
11:26 - DIAGNOSIS
15:34 - LIFE BEYOND
come back next week for a truly moving episode, *I spent a day with people w/ TERMINAL ILLNESSES*. 🎙NEW PODCAST: Spotify ▸ open.spotify.com/show/5aOLuPenneHbhLh05fmkeu Apple ▸ podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-spent-a-day-with/id1550213250
ILY ❤
Love the vid!
Whoa, I’m not ready for next week 👀
Thank you for educating people on this topic!!
Please do dyslexia
What people think ADHD is like: “man... my adhd is so bad... oh! A squirrel!” What it’s actually like: *ive read this page 5 times and I still haven’t grasped the concept*
*think
SO TRUE I CANNOT READ WITHOUT SPENDING 17 MINUTES TRYING TO RE-READ A PARAGRAPH
I once spent 20 minutes on a assignment question, 20 MINUTES. Even worse it was a 30 minute assignment. 😑
But like also sometimes you just see a squirrel and get distracted
Bruh so true tho
“I can make 4 full discord servers in a day but I can’t finish this fucking assignment” is my adhd in a nutshell
when i tell you i felt that-
I’ve done that too many times 😭
Yees, actually made a discord server for my uni English courses and forgot an assignment (no deadline) for a solid 6 months
Me making summaries for exams, too endulged into the writing and details, I forget what it was truly about (studying the subject) and instead wrote a whole story about the greek or something and I get annoyed of course cos I 'wasted' at least hours on something that was meant to be a simple summary for my exams about history .... But god I was so into greek mythology so yeah, everything else went to the back burner lol
I may or may not have scared my dnd DM by making a fully automated customized 5e character sheet for my artificer (more variable features than most classes for me to automate) on Google sheets, as well as make my full inventory with an automatic weight calculator, and categorizing every item into a slot size to convert it into our DMs alternate encumbrance system in one night. It's all clean and easily updatable and looks nice, and is color coded so my friends could copy it and know how to fill it out. Oh, and I'm 2 weeks behind on schoolwork, but my fully automated minecraft AFK tower is done.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
As a person with adhd I never even knew the part about being really sensitive to rejection and getting angry or exited out of nowhere. I thought it was just normal but this actually explains a lot.
Yeah same, I thought I just had thin skin but learning that it's an actual symptom of ADHD made so much sense when I realized it
Well, that explains a lot... I've been diagnosed for years, but I don't think that I have ever had it explained until now.
I am 76 years old. I knew as a child that something was wrong. I was considered to be intelligent, but that did not translate into success. I was never diagnosed, but hearing these descriptions of the ADHD behaviours and perceptions is compelling. I wish there had been a knowledge and understanding of this condition in the 50s and 60s when I grew up. Teachers in that era tended to be very harsh towards children who didn’t conform. I was very quiet, so I managed not to be focussed on. However, I will never forget a boy in my grade five class who must have had some form of the disorder.Our teacher was out of the classroom frequently, so we were supposed to monitor ourselves. This boy spilled some ink, (no ballpoint pens in those days ) and he got out of his desk, ran out of the classroom to get paper towels, and collided with the teacher. The teacher grabbed him by the arm, ripped him into the other room across the hall, and strapped him really hard. Every time we heard the strap land, the boy screamed in pain. I was horrified. Recently I asked my non-ADHD twin brother if he remembered this incident. He said, “ yes, I do, and I lost all respect for the teacher that day”. Two of my adult daughters have been diagnosed with ADHD. I would have given up my creative abilities in order to be free of this condition.
🥲 ofcouse... time to stop going behind girls...
@@thekittyqueen3495you can still go for a diagnosis. It can be for reassurance or self validation. You then can get what you need to cope with a busy brain.
What I hate about having ADHD is listening to people say "oh, I'm sooo ADHD" when they do something flighty or absent-mindedly.
There's SO MANY actual adjectives people can use instead of diluting the severity of mental disorders and making them seem like quirky character traits.
AAAH IKR I felt for ppl with ocd when it was “uukg my ocd is so bad right now look I made this line of pens straight” was a trend it’s kinda similar like shush, moron
@Malum me saying I don't like something doesnt make me a SJW.
Fuck, same. I remember once in gym class, this girl was dancing around and being extremely hyper while talking about how "I've got bad ADHD" and I just walked past her and said, "I have ADHD too, and it's ruining my life" before speeding up and walking away.
One time I was struggling with my adhd in class and I was talking about it to some girl and I forgot that she acts like a hypochondriac and she literally said "lowkey think I might have adhd bc yesterday it took me a solid 15 minutes to start my hw"😐
"I was no longer the person with potential, I was the person that didn't reach it" That one legit hurt.
I'm 28 and boy howdy that hit me hard. I struggle with that feeling all the damn time and it's terrible.
I relate so much to that.
It struck hard
That is literally me this year ffs, my parents keep telling me I have potential and I'm only getting lower grades cause I'm wasting it and don't give a f**k. Which isn't true, but what's the point in arguing if they never listen, right?
I thought the same thing to myself, it gave me the push to get diagnosed with ADHD at 31, I'm doing better now after a year of therapy and medication.
I have inattentive ADHD and always wondered why I’m always so forgetful, clumsy, spacey, disorganized and couldn’t concentrate/focus on anything that didn’t interest me and daydreaming all the time. I thought I was just lazy, dumb or something is wrong with me but I was diagnosed not long ago and started taking medication for it. No one thought I had it cause I was a quiet and well behaved girl in class and people often times think ADHD is that little hyperactive little boy that can’t keep still in a classroom.
I'm a daydreamer too. We got ignored in school because we don't cause trouble in class. My hyperactivity is in my head, not my body!
"people often times think ADHD is that little hyperactive little boy that can't sit still in a classroom" omg this is so true. thats literally the reason why my ADHD has been swept under the rug for so long lmfao, bc im too "well-behaved" 😭 the amount of times id ever bring up my struggles and constantly hear "no i dont see it" just shows how many stereotypes there are to this and how symptoms reflect differently for different people
what’s your medication?
@st8rgirl i had the hyperactivity stuff then was forced to take Adderall then gradeschool started feeling like a blank
I’m diagnosed and I still think something’s wrong with me sometimes, even though I know what it is, which makes no sense. I tried medication and didn’t like the side effects of any of them, so idk what to do at this point.
I'm a doctor that was just diagnosed with ADHD at 28 y/o. My presentation was predominantly inattentive and because I had always done well in school and exams, getting straight A's and good results despite not studying or procrastinating and studying at the last minute, no one including myself would have ever thought I would have ADHD. Ironically, I'm in the psychiatry department now and I can say that I was truly blessed to be surrounded by colleagues that noticed my symptoms and advised me to get checked out. Thank you for making this video and helping to raise awareness. World Mental Health Day is on 10th October with the theme being "Mental health is a universal human right". I will try my best to raise awareness during that time and hope to help others like myself who struggle everyday blaming themselves without knowing whats actually wrong. Whoever reads this, I hope you have a good day and do get yourself checked out if you think you might have it because it makes a world of a difference with the right help!
My mom is a doctor and she saw that adhd in me when I was about 1. I got my diagnosis when I was 7.. many don't realize that sleep problems are very common in people with adhd. She was a splendid doctor when she worked (she had to stop because of arthritis in her hands) and I am so, so, so greatful that she saw what the problem was so early! Also I put wrapping tape on the glasses of the person who diagnosed me 😅
@@irmablomberg9380 Owh, I'm glad your mom was able to pick up on your symptoms and got you diagnosed. Many parents tend to dismiss their childrens concerns and find it hard to accept. Your mom sounds like an amazing person :) The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so I'm sure whatever you have chosen to pursue, you will do well!
youre definitely not obligated to share but i would love to hear about the symptoms your colleagues pointed out. i'm trying to go to school for psychology and i think i might have adhd and would appreciate the insight!
@@izme8061Hey. I'm a 13 year old. I wanted to start off by saying how an amazing of a human you seem like. Ik I'm a kid and it would probably not matter, but seriously, god bless people like you. I'm aware it's quite idiotic to ask a stranger for advice, and not to be rude at all, but assuming that everything you said was true, I wanted to focus on the part where you said that your colleagues "noticed your symptoms". Considering how you presented as the inattentive type most of your school life, I wanted to ask what those symptoms were, as long as you're comfortable of course. I'm a 13 year old girl, and I contemplate day and night whether I have ADHD. I couldn't focus for a long period of time to save my life. I start focusing so much on how much I have to focus, which ends up in not focusing, defeating the entire purpose. I grew up in India and my narcissistic mother doesn't believe me, I'm kind of hopeless. I just wanted to ask a kind soul like you as to how it's actually like living with ADHD, of course keeping in mind that everyone can present differently. Your colleagues seem like great people too by the way.❤
Well that almost completely describes me and it was always in the back of my mind but now…. I’m thinking so. I have what some people call “top tier grades”, I play sports and do well, and i am told that since nothing is interfering with my life then I don’t really need to be checked. I will COMPLETELY refuse any medication because I could still get taller and my brain hasn’t completely develop so it’s just not a good choice. I have my life planned till I’m about 35. I want to be a surgeon that’s either a neurosurgeon or orthopedic surgeon and I’ve always been interested in phych. Also MY MOTHER AND SISTER HAS ADHD AND ITS HIGHLY LIKELY THAT MY BROTHER HAS IT TOO LIKE MEEE. I hope you know how well you helped me just with this comment!!! 😅☺️🤙🏽
what people think adhd is: *omg i can’t sit down, i just have to fidget. oh a squirrel!* what adhd actually is: *i have been listening to this person repeat themselves over and over and i still can’t focus enough to process what they’re saying*
I totally agree. I sometimes just forget to process, and other times, I'm focusing so hard on masking I can't process.
@@lillyfrancisco6023 bc of my adhd, im slow. like my reflexes and my ability to process. bc my brain takes an extra few seconds to process what im hearing or what’s going on
@@gabby1181 that’s how I feel but I don’t have adhd
@@ayothatssus8452 yes, most of the symptoms of adhd are normal life problems for regular people. they’re just enhanced for us because it’s a disorder in the brain
This is literally me, and one of the reasons I'm getting tested for ADHD lol I zone out so bad that I can literally be staring at a person that is talking to me and only me, but I'm busy doing literally nothing and the words go straight over my head
“... it affects our ability to sleep...” Me, a person with ADHD, at 3 AM: Well, now that you mention it...
Aaaaw lmao
Me watching this at 3:45am like “huh, how interesting” like this isn’t my everyday life lmao
I feel this on an unhealthy level. I literally have stayed up until like 4 am when I had a class at 8 am the next morning.
2am here, I'm exhausted and I know I gotta get up "early" but am I going to bed? nope. I'll just continue to jump from one video to the next and get on random topics. I started out searching up how two people can listen with their own earbuds to the same device...smh
not me watching this at 4:30 AM lmao
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@@michealharris3221Does dr.sporess ship?
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
these are bots, be warned. just saw the same exact comment from another vid. I’m not anti-psilocybin treatment, but psychedelics def are not for everyone, and ADHD people must be careful with dose cause a gram could have life changing effects.
My partner has ADHD and it's something I really love about him. He sees the world in such an energetic way and has such dynamism flowing through him. He can be around anyone and has such a keen interest in life. He does have hyperfocus and burnout and so these are things I can help remind him about to regulate him. He brings so much sunshine to our world ❤
ahh this makes me feel better about my own adhd thank you ❤❤
I CAN quite connect with YOUR commentary. In my own case, it was a different story. I recently lost the love of my life because my impulsivity and lack of inhibition led me to be rude to her. Additionally, I struggled with financial independence and academic pursuits. She never asked for anything from me, and my ADHD symptoms disrupted what seemed to be my only path to happiness, following two failed marriages, divorces, and being separated from my beloved daughter when she was just 7 years old. Given my experiences, I can't relate to your commentary about your partner's ADHD. Best of luck to you!
@@rafa10perez ahh, I'm sorry to hear you've had such challenges. One of my best friends in the whole world also has it and she struggles with relationships (similar to what you have described). I still have faith you will find people that understand how to navigate your uniqueness and they will be your tribe. I find that if you are friends with or involved with someone it is also your responsibility to learn about their challenges. I still learn about adhd as we go by listening to podcasts and reading studies and also having conversations with my partner and bestie. If they had a physical challenge we would all learn how to care for and understand their challenges, we all deserve to be understood. I hope you find people that are curious and caring. 💜all the best.
@@creekaura keep shining 💜🥰
What a lovely reply and so good to be reminded of the upside. We get caught up in the negatives too much. Xx
HE’S TALKING ABOUT REJECTION SENSITIVITY! NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT!
as a person with adhd I feel so understood
Hell I have adhd and didn’t know about that, I thought it was part of my “mood disorder” and MDD (some of my disorders, not bragging because that’s hella dumb, just explaining) I’m just lost for words. Though I still agree with my diagnosis’ as everything got worse soon before going to the mental hospital for self harm, suicidal ideation, and starving myself.
@@paigecoleman1628 hey yes it's not very known so it's defined possible you haven't heard about it. Btw hope you're doing fine now
Oh my god I was so happy to see it
@@nova-qs6th oh I am, even with all my health and pain issues I’m the happiest I’ve been I feel like, though still very anxious and gotta figure things out. Thanks for the well wishes
“I was no longer the person who had so much potential. I was the person who hadn’t reached it” that hit hard.
Like this is beginning to be me now at 22, and it’s such a devastating feeling.
That is a shitty feeling. About 25-30 is when it set in for me. Many of us "gifted" students were set up for failure in real life. I'm 41 and it still bothers me. Especially having to go on disability.
@@ashtaylor4107 truthfully, it is
I keep clicking and unclicking the like button because it's so satisfying to watch it go from 999 to 1K
*So* hard.
I'm 16-17yo girl and i think I have ADHD. I say "think" because everytime I've asked to go see a professional for a potential diagnosis my parents have shut the idea down immediately (i have epilepsy and they don't want to accept the idea of me having anything else. Anxiety -no your just shy, ADHD - no your just lazy). And after watching this I'm even more sure. Hopefully i can get through to them. I love your videos Anthony 🤩🤩👑
I’m glad you said you think you have it instead of self diagnosing yourself! When you reach the legal age of being an adult, don’t let them shut you down and tell your doctor the symptoms you’ve noticed and why you think you should be tested for ADHD. Getting a diagnosis is one of the first steps to finding out how to live with adhd and what you can do to help yourself! I was diagnosed very young, so I apologize I can’t give much advice regarding the test, but I wish you luck and I hope you’re able to talk to your doctor about testing!
has it happened yet? ^^
@@woegy no sadly but I hope I can do it on my own. I'll be 18 soon. And I'd rather wait rather than fight with my parents wich will only make my metal health worse
kinda in the same situation. I was diagnosed with ADHD five years ago, and I wanna get tested for autism as well, but my mom keeps saying I don't have it cause I "can communicate like a normal person"(that's not what it feels like to me, but ok). I think I'll wait till I'm 18 to get tested, which is only a year from now, so I don't have to tell my mom
@@Rain-ie3xm good for you. 👍😁.
I resonated so much with the woman when she said “A lot of people that have ADHD don’t think they have it because they think they’re simply lazy or stupid.” My entire life, my mother told me I was *choosing* to be lazy, I was *choosing* to fail classes, I was *choosing* to not pay attention. I tried so desperately to be these things that I physically and mentally cannot be. It put so much strain on me. People kept asking me why I was choosing to be this way when I didn’t even know myself! I’m still coping with realizing that my symptoms are not a fault of my own. I try not to blame myself, and instead try to tell myself that when I make mistakes, I am not *choosing* to make them. It feels weird to forgive myself for making mistakes, but ironically, my symptoms are less severe now that I’m not trying to suppress them. I literally almost cried when they talked about feeling helpless, and stupid, and like half of a person that everyone thinks you should be. People always tell you you’re not trying hard enough, that you’re choosing to “fail”. It hurts so much because people expect you to make a cake when you don’t have ingredients.
I feel you dear soul. Have been there.. still am .. 😢
“A lot of people with ADHD don’t think they have it, and they just think they’re dumb, lazy, or aren’t trying hard enough.” Iv’e always felt this. Finally got diagnosed last week. 🙌🏻
Proud of you! Always do what's best for you! I'm 27 and I just got diagnosed a year ago. It's so relieving to finally have a REASON to why we function the way we do!
im not wanting to go there to get diagnosed too bored to
I thought the same thing for a long time turned out I have autism and then everything clicked my bf has ADHD and he tends to be pretty down with it but I'll try my best to cheer him up after all theres not many people with the empathy of aspies
Congrats!! I hope things get better with your new diagnosis 🥰🥰
I almost cried at my diagnosis. I thought maybe I WAS just lazy and stupid.
Only people with adhd will get this: I need to clean.. *scrolls through KZhead* oh an Anthony Padilla video about adh- oh I need to clean *cleans a little as in I picked up one sock* that’s good- I’m hungry. *sits back down and stares at a ceiling* I miss my second grade teacher ;/ *forgets about the video and watches other things* I’m hungry *eats the entire fridge* what did I forget. *zones out for 4 hours* oh I need to clean *cleans up a little of my room, a little of the kitchen, a little of the bathroom but everything still looks bad* I’m gonna sleep *watches Anthony Padilla video about adhd* *doesn’t sleep* EDIT: I hate to be that person but I think this is my most liked comment yet thanks for almost 900 🤡🤡🤡
I CLICKED ON THIS AFTER WATCHING JESSICA'S VIDEO ON HOW TO DEAL WITH CLUTTER BECAUSE I NEED TO CLEAN MY ROOM
Not me currently having a browser tab up where I looked up my high school chemistry teacher on Linked-in at 2 am in the middle of watching this video 😂
Should i be concern about how much i relate to this comment or...?
@@itscris1973 depends: do you have adhd lmaoo
Why do you just described me
As a person with ADHD a thing that makes me feel terrible about myself is the fact that I can't grasp easy concepts,and when I'm being forgetful and not remembering things that I should people call me lazy and it just hurts a lot. I'm glad that ADHD is being noticed because it is truly a thing that people look past. 🐝
Jessica just never misses on how it feels to have ADHD. THe potential part? Oh boy...
Things you should NEVER say to someone with ADHD: “Just focus” “Girls can’t have ADHD” “You’re not THAT hyperactive. You probably only have ADD...” “Stop fidgeting” “Just stand still for a moment” “Why can’t you just be like everyone else?” “If you’re looking around you aren’t listening, look at me when I speak” “No one cares what interests you” “Shut up” As someone with severe ADHD these things really hurt. Just wanted people to know because most of the people who say these things don’t realize they are hurting me.
the look at me when i speak hit hard
@@lilirobles8937 I know, right? With my ADHD I can only really focus on what someone is saying when I am glancing around, so when they tell me that it makes it really hard to pay attention and retain what information they say.
@@avgor3072 yeah it sucks
@Corporal Adrian Shepard MOOD
@Corporal Adrian Shepard amazing
When Jessica said that she didn’t get diagnosed until way later in life because she was a “gifted student” my jaw dropped. That’s exactly what happened to me. I had all A’s my whole life and so everyone said it was impossible for me to have ADHD. When I got to college, my A’s turned into C’s, D’s, and F’s, because for the first time, I was actually on my own with my ADHD, and it took all that for someone to listen and actually diagnose me.
I had a similar experience: considered "gifted" in school, crashed and burned in university (twice) because of the lack of external structure. I didn't even consider ADHD as a possibility until afterwards, when I'd already internalised a lot of self-loathing about my "wasted potential".
Oh god this is exactly what happened with me.... I’m not diagnosed but I’m 100% sure I do have ADHD
I'm currently having the same experiences! I went from a straight A, high honor student in high school who had enough structure to work to a C student in online college who has had multiple breakdowns and chronic burnout. I'm not diagnosed(for reasons out of my control) but I'm 100% sure I have ADHD.
@@mmts96 Seek a diagnosis! If you have health insurance, google their name (ie Medi-Care), otherwise google “psychiatrist near me”. I’m in the exact same boat and I already called mine!
Same! I recognized I might have had it when I was 13 and kept asking my mom to get evaluated and it was always "You're too smart to have adhd you're just lazy" and I'm just now in therapy for the first time and am ab to get evaluated at 17. For me it wasn't college when my grades started going down it was high school because I would never be able to focus long enough to do all my homework but would get straight A's test wise.
I have ADHD. Most of my symptoms are related to my hyperactivity. I am loud and chatty, and I talk really fast. I jump from one topic to another. Every thought that pops into my head, I say with no control, that's the impulsiveness, so I overshare and interrupt a lot. It is extremely hard for me to keep friends. People don't want to be around me because I'm too "annoying." It takes a very special kind of person to stick with me. I only have one friend, and my family is extremely unssuportive and refuses to understand. They are constantly gelling me to shut up, and my mom yells at me all the time because my voice is loud. I don't hear it. To my ears, I'm speaking at a normal volume. So if I can't hear how loud my voice is, how am I supposed to lower or control it? I don't have problems with sitting still. I sit on my chair for ten hours straight focused on my computer because I hyperfocus to the point that I lose all awareness of my surroundings, even touch. When I am not hyperfocused, I get distracted by everything. My water bottle, the cats, a car door opening outside, one of my neighbors coming down the stairs in our building, every single notification on my phone. I will constantly shift around, drink from bottle, get up and get a snack, grab random nearby objects, and fidget with them. One of my biggest fidgets is putting things in my mouth like chewing on straws or towels. Like a baby l. I have trouble with motivation too. When I try to clean, my brain thinking of 10000 things I'd rather be doing and because I hate cleaning because it's boring as hell and overwhelming, so I'm ten times more likely to go do an activity that is fun, buT spend the whole day feeling guilty because I know what I should be doing. ADHD also affects my communication skills. I have severe social anxiety and trust issues. I am socially awkward, say things I shouldn't, overshare, very shy. I try to avoid people now.
You’re not annoying. I hope you can find more people who enjoys the way you are soon. They exist! Keep going! ❤
thank you for speaking on this. every sentence resonates with me and ik what its like to feel annoying to the world. you deserve to be heard and seen
I grew up my entire life with adhd and everything you said has been me to a T! Relationships are hard to hold and friendships are too. I overshare too much and when I find someone that actually gets me or deals with the same things, I don’t want to lose them, which drives them away and the rejection hurts really bad. I had a friend group who seemed all for disability (I had spinal fusion) and supported mental health, but I was wrong. Because when it came to my problems I was somehow “in the wrong” yet they were “always right.” They would treat me like some child and would also tell me things like “we can’t be there for you all the time” and “others have problems too, it’s not about you.” when I never thought I made it about me and never did. It was always somebody else who could garner their sympathy but the second I want at least a little bit of sympathy they “couldn’t help.” They ended up being horrible people, so I ditched them, and started to hang out more with my other friend group who actually understands my struggles and are willing to help me and hear me out and take their time and have patience with me. I want to plead everyone as well: get into their interests, listen to them, try to help. But it never worked and I slowly felt the mask slip off day by day the further I went. I felt like I was spiraling because I was trying to be apart of these things I genuinely had no interest in and just wanted to please others around me so I could fit in. But I never needed to do that, I didn’t have to fit into their interests, I just thought I would lose everyone if I didn’t and they would think I’m boring or obnoxious. I would get called names behind my back like “weird” or “psycho” because I have the tendency to fall hard in love and again, when I click with someone, I don’t want to lose them and my intentions were to never hurt people. I knew people looked and thought about me differently then they said and school had always been hard because of that. I have a hard time regulating my emotions sometimes and while I’m working on it, I always apologize when I hurt someone, but I ever get an apology when someone hurts me and I just have to say “it’s okay” when it’s really not for the fear that they won’t like the truth that I have to share about them, because they wouldn’t like to hear how they’ve actually been treating me and would rather believe I’m just annoying and weird and obsessive. Adhd isn’t just the hyperactivity. It’s the depression, the anxiety, the fear of rejection, hopelessness, and not feeling good enough to “fit in” with others. I completely understand the struggles you shared and just wanted to share some of mine that I hope are also relatable and help you know that you’re not alone!
You seem like a lovely person though, I just want to reassure you on that ! Proof is, I sat and read through your entire paragraph, and lord knows how hard it is for my brain to read long pieces of text without getting interrupted, unless it has captivated me ;) I wish you the best, that find your people, and healing, and that you are accepted as you are.
You as well, wishing you the best @@itscc2004
I like how Anthony wants to understand people with ADHD more and I have ADHD so I appreciate this a lot
When she said that ADHD people are often just trying to catch up I felt that
same, i felt that strongly
Same
So accurate and made me feel less alone
@@Amanda-yp7js And more understood.
@@Ryosuke1208 that too!
I’ve had a lot of my family members discourage me from getting treatment for ADHD.. I’ve always had a gut feeling for a long time that there was something off with the way my brain worked.. A lot of the things that were being said in this video.. HIT HARD. This video makes me realize the importance of getting treatment and going to therapy. As a kid, it didn’t affect me as deeply. I didn’t pay attention, I’d day dream and draw.. but I’d pass or last minute pull off a passing grade. However, as an adult.. it feels crippling. I isolate myself from a lot of people because I don’t want them to know how much of a mess I really am. Then I get depressed and anxious and beat myself up because I can’t complete goals. Logically, I know nothing is holding me back from those goals.. but it’s like I’m trying to solve 7 problems in my head all at once. It constantly feels like my mind is hopping from one thing to another at a stupidly high rate. I’m very ambitious, but once I have to act on it I cave..
I'm 29 years old and never once did I consider that I might have ADHD, I thought everyone just thought and felt the way I do. 3 weeks ago this video made me realise that I might have it. I was officially diagnosed today and start meds tomorrow. Be kind to your brain and don't be scared to talk to someone about it.
How have the meds helped?
@@sucio- sorry for the late reply, I didn't see this. Yes! Meds have definitely changed things in a very positive way. I went on Vyvanse 30mg for a month and it was fantastic, I had no side effects from it at all and had the most productive month I've had in years. I'm not sure how much of that was placebo, but it felt great regardless. I haven't been able to get it again due to the shortage. I tried Contramyl 36mg for a week and had horrible anxiety symptoms and fatigue. It was clearly too high of a dosage for me and Contramyl didn't give me any benefits. I'm now on Concerta 27mg and it's very close to Vyvanse. I feel like I have more of a mental energy boost from it than a control of focus. If you're looking to try meds just be patient with the process until you find what works for you. I was given this advice before I started and it really helped when the contramyl wasn't going well. Good luck!
Holy fuck in my country I have to wait like 2 years to get seen for a diagnosis
@@innominativecompany4231 damn where do you live thats actually ridiculous
@@christiandk09 the UK 😭
Having ADHD isn't just laziness or "crackhead energy."
actually like i hate it when people think its just that
I hated when "friend groups" would call me a crackhead. Happened too much.
Exactly I dont have it but I understand this so many girls are always like ugh I have adhd I'm a crackheadddd
Its like having five brains thinking different thoughts at once
@@Makyah2003 you’re not a weirdo!
this video reminds of the "either people with ADHD need to stop being so relatable or I need to go to the doctor" post
I *just* quoted that
YES
BAHHAHABAJSNSS THESE ARE MY EXACT THOUGHTS
Actually me rn
Me rn
16:38 this part genuinely hurt to hear because I related to it so much. I'm still in the process of trying to get a diagnosis and I'm finally at the point where I'm accepting myself but also fearful that if do not have it then I'll have nothing to blame for the way I am and I've been scared of getting a diagnosis or even talking about it because the idea of me kicking a stir over nothing gives me anxiety that I'll be seen as some sort of attention seeker. After countless months researching and speaking with people with ADHD ive managed to link my own behaviours towards the condition very strongly. But I'm still very worried because I feel like I'm stepping into a place I don't belong in. This video is really inspiring and I hope I can finally accept that I'm trying and I can get help.
I’m also in the process of getting diagnosed. I’ve been on the waitlist for 5 months now🥲 UPDATE 8/28:2023: I got diagnosed lmaooooooo
I had an evaluation recently (6months ago i don’t really know) and ended up being non-diagnosed, my symptoms were not clinical enough and entirely due to depression/anxiety/my current situation of being an burnt-out immature stay-with-mom-and-dad adult/ my other ASD (autism) diagnosis and general emotional instability according to the psych. Despite how I relate to the experiences of people with ADHD. Now my parents are free to blame for being unorganised and lazy and not trying hard enough 😅My case may just be complex because of comorbid conditions though. Sooo it happens but it’s okey, we shouldn’t give up on understanding what we have
omg this was exactly how i was feeling before i got diagnosed. i was so scared of being invalidated or just downright getting it wrong and have nothing to explain my struggles for. but after finally getting that diagnosis, it was honestly rly freeing for me to finally take steps in working around it
Jessica really nailed it. I'm mid 30's and one of those "never reached their potential" people. I feel like I don't have my life together compared to the rest of my family, like I'm behind on some standard. I have no idea what I want to "do", so I'm stuck where I am and spinning my wheels trying to figure it out. I think it's easier to have a negative mindset because it was paved into us as kids that we just aren't trying hard enough, and it's so hard to lay a new mental path through a positive outlook instead. Gotta take things day by day sometimes.
wanna know why girls with adhd aren’t “common” because society writes it off at chatty, etc. most girls get diagnosed until 16-18 yrs
I was one of the lucky ones and got diagnosed in kindergarten-first grade. Which ofc, I’m really grateful for.
I'm AFAB and I was just recently diagnosed,I've always been a kinda golden child and I've never really been a distracting student so it took a very long to get diagnosed but I'm glad that my siblings played attention to the symptoms I showed and I got diagnosed :]
I doubt that claim tbh
Diagnosed at 23! I really wish I would have been looked at earlier, but I didn’t cause I was a good student, maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a failure.. idk..
@@srbmakeup767 I definitely felt that, i’ve always had relatively good grades and didn’t present in a way that would be noticed either. but it was because i had a schedule for school and etc. so when the pandemic hit i really struggled and got tested for a lot of things. Everything does get better!!!!
As a "gifted child" with ADHD, not being able to reach my potential is really my biggest fear. Parts of this made me so anxious
This is me everyday of the past 21 years of my life. I'm so terrified that I'm not going to reach my potential, because that's the only thing that has kept me motivated whenever I was in tears because I couldn't do my homework or was basically called dumb by teacher after teacher. And now that I'm older and it's a lot harder to keep up with others my age that fear is intense.
i get it. it’s terrifying. and it’s not helpful at all when people say that adhd is a ‘super power’. it’s not. sure, it helps me have different out looks, etc, but it also means constantly changing the way that you present yourself, so that the neuro typicals around you can be comfortable. but it does get better. you are not going to fail. you are going to get through it, and you’re going to come out the other side flourishing. i have hit many a brick wall, but i adapt, and push through. that is one thing that is helpful about adhd. we’re really good at solving problems and adapting, because we are constantly thinking about a ton of stuff. you aren’t alone, and i believe in you.
Ugh that is such a good point. When that was first brought up in the video I was admittedly a little confused about why being told you have potential is such a bad thing. Cause for me during high school it felt really motivating! Until it didn’t... and now it’s just become this fear and this pressure.
Same
Same. I've always been a gifted child until I got in highschool (I'm in my second year in hs), things got ten times harder and I failed every single one of my classes. I saw the disappointment in everyone's faces and in everyone's words, it's the worst nightmare. Thanks to this I got my diagnosis though, things aren't great but they're better at least
One thing that no one really mentioned that I find to be extremely important is the fact that people with AD-HD often show signs of other communication disorders or social anxiety without actually having those disorders. In my experience, when you act differently in conversation because of your AD-HD (i.e. talking a lot, talking about one thing because of hyperfocus, or not being able to make clear sentences because your mouth is moving faster than your brain), people will tell you this and treat you like there is something wrong with you because of it. Oftentimes when you have these types of symptoms, people will constantly try to "fix" you by telling you that you need to stop interrupting people or be careful of how much time you take when talking in order to try and make you act like a "normal" person would. This, to put it lightly, does not work, and for me has only made it worse. It's made me hyper aware of all of these things when I'm talking. Instead of talking about something I'm passionate about, a lot of the time I'll just stay quiet out of fear that I'll appear "weird" because of the various things that cause me to act different. I'll just keep all of the various things that I really want to talk about in my head, and all of that will slowly pile up making me want to explode in a rant about various random topics without an opportunity to ever really do so.
So am i
This is why i became super quiet, because i didnt want to be annoying.
exactly what happened to me in middle school, became self-aware enough to try and not be annoying, just became shy
The genetic thing is important. I was 74, moving house, and finding my inability to organise myself extremely frustrating, to the point that I sometimes felt like crying. I realised that, when I had moved nearly 40 years earlier, I'd followed my wife's instructions -- and taken over in the crises. I could do those. A few weeks after completing the move, I read an article by a woman diagnosed in her 40s, when she suddenly couldn't cope any longer with a high pressure executive job (and growing alcoholism!) Apart from alcohol, and the fact that she was rather sporty, most of what she said applied to me, though perhaps more mildly. Then I began to think... My brother was picked at school as being pretty bright, but... They moved him into a high intensity class, so he wouldn't be distracted and forget to do his work. My dad nearly killed himself the day I was born by taking a shortcut to the hospital up a 30m quarry face, and sliding in loose gravel near the top. He still couldn't resist cliffs when my kids visited in school holidays. He had difficulty regulating emotions. Started building projects at 10pm -- and tended to hop from project to project, with long periods of interspersed inaction. Then there was my grandfather, dad's father. Everyone liked him. He was open, talked to everyone, got a bravery medal in WWI by being the corporal who dashed into no man's land under fire to carry a wounded comrade back to the trenches -- but everyone said, "He's such a bull at a gate!" If he thought before he did something, he wouldn't have to do it twice!" Me? I spend all morning wondering what I'll do today. I must have four things in mind. I'll leave at 3 pm -- four times, because i have to go back for phone... shopping bags... the prescription I intended to fill. It took a while to persuade a doctor to refer me for testing. I have three degrees. I had steady employment all my working life, sometimes more than one job at a time. And i was never into sports. I just get lost in Wikipedia/Facebook/the latest history of Australian settlement. The doctors didn't even ask me why I thought I have it. It was nearly Christmas when i got the referral. I decided to call straight afterwards, and put the referral on my coffee table. I had visitors. I tidied up. I can't find the referral now. My second son is much the same.
Yes, genetics can indeed play a role. Your biggest assets now are your intuition and your desire to know. Call the doctor and ask them to mail you a reprint of the referral (it’s harder to lose in an envelope-😉 I was evaluated in my 40s. Working closely with doctors on finding and adjusting medication if needed, coupled with Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and most importantly, a decision to enjoy the heck out of who I am, AS I am, have all given me tools to live an improved life. I wish you many PLEASANT self-VALIDATING (even crying with grief or relief can be so cleansing) surprises on your journey, wherever it takes you!❤
I am also 74 and just diagnosed. My symptoms are very much like yours.
Yes, genetics play a major role in the nature of ADHD, but environmental factors play a significant role too. The chance of inheritance if one parent has ADHD is about 25%, or 40% if both parents have it, so luckily you're unlikely to have passed it onto your own children. It reminds me of my family, where only a minority have ADHD, and the rest cannot and never have been able to relate whatsoever. Understanding that your brain is inherently impaired reassures you that it isn't your fault, especially when taking into account the genetic nature of the condition.
"she has straight As" "she can't have adhd" *TRIGGERED*
That shit is the most annoying thing. I have ADHD but I'm in all honors classes right now, and whenever I tell people I have ADHD they always just say "Really?"
It was stressing me out bcuz I think I have adhd but I have straight A's so idk if that really makes sense
@@muymal6201 get diagnosed first bcuz those 2 could be unrelated but it is a podsibility
Oof same, I’m in the top set (basically means the smartest kids) but I have symptoms of ADHD but I haven’t been diagnosed because of Corona
Yeah personally I don’t have straight As but I used to haha
Jessica’s doctor be like: “What’s wrong? “I think my daughter has ADHD” “What’re her grades like?” “Straight As” “Get out.”
LMAOOOO ☠️
Unfortunately thats like 90% of doctors and therapist and shrinks and such. Maybe not shrinks, but like every one else that you would go to for a referral or diagnosis.
I was getting a masters degree in college and commented to a doctor that I was PRETTY sure I had adhd. Got flat out told 'people with adhd don't get master's degrees' That was years ago and I'm now on adhd meds. People can actually FOCUS for more than 5 minutes on things and that is just wild to me. I could've gotten all my work done AND had sleep!
Dula peep
@@SageAsuka yeah...this is what im scared of. i have all symptoms but my grades are high...i just went to see a doc 5 days ago everything was fine till i said my grades are high, the doc's face immediately changed... i will get a test 4 hours later though... i dont know i dont know i really should go take some rest hope you get what im trying to say lol edit: got diagnosed, but the new problem is my parents, they dont believe what the doc said 😒 oh and i think i will fail my grades horribly this time
i was diagnosed at 3 years old. My mom was called a horrible mom by a DOCTOR because she wanted to put me and my brother on medication. she fought so hard to get us the help we needed. ❤
Nearly started crying while watching this. I have never been able to describe my ADHD accurately enough to my loved ones, but this video has given me the chance to finally give them a window into my world, in hopes that they will all be able to understand me that much better, now. Thank you all so very, very much!! 💜
The “I forgot to listen” hit different. You don’t know how many times I pause and rewind videos movies and shows. I love books but I can’t read because I’ll read a paragraph and forget what I just read.
exactly! i was just about to restart the video, when i realized that i was in online class, and just missed instructions. i THINK that i'm supposed to be writing an essay right now, but my ADD medicine isnt working, so yAy. =,)
Lmao that's why when I actually finish a book I say I've read it at least 3 times
I can ’blackout’ without realizing I did until I watch the same video/film etc again. ( There Will be a certain part that I dont recognize )
YES. i do this so fcking much it gets really tiring, especially when you’re trying to watch something with someone and just can’t because your mind will not keep focus. it’s so draining in general.
exactly. and then when im writing an essay or rly anything and i look back at it and see that i wrote the same sentence two times
"either people with adhd need to stop being so relatable or i need to go to the doctor" update: i am trying to find a doctor to diagnose me but it's kinda hard when your country doesn't really value mental disorders like this 😭 if anyone has resources they'd like to share, please let me know!
Go to the doctor 😂
Go get diagnosed 😂
I think you need a doctor😂😂
Same lol
Go to the doctor. In the mean time hang out with someone with ADHD and then ask them if they see it. We have our own ADD-dar. (ADHD radar). It's easy for us to see the processes and mental habits of people like us, so we may be able to provide some insight for you.
Yea, this is the one that clicked for me. Friend of mine told me it was obvious to her that I had it; she told me about it and it started to make sense. I slowly started chiming with the thought of having ADHD because somehow it explains 99% of my life perfectly. Haven't been diagnosed yet because I kinda suck at ... prioritizing and making appointments and such, but yea. A lot of the things said here have made me violently nod my head, tear up or start noticing my tics. I was the shy gifted boy who would doodle in math class and the teacher would just accept it because I'd ace the exams. And then I'd just fail at the most boring simple stuff. And then impulsively start running. And drawing. And rhyming. And acting. And stopping all those things at a whim. And because creativity and sports are not considered a bad thing, nobody would look into it or hint at the connection. And damn, I felt that "person who hasn't achieved their potential" line. That's me. That quiet boy with this amazing intellect is gonna go places. Oh he's gonna be a doctorlawyer or CEO or he's gonna invent something and make billions. I even felt that negative pressure as a kid. I always hated being told what others think I'm gonna become when I was really not sure of who I even was back then. Now I struggle to just keep a job or do daily chores while at the same time being an overachiever and acing every test. That dichotomy only makes sense for me when I consider myself an AyDeeAgeDeeer. It's absurd to see how common this stuff is. Also, one of my friend's comments towards me noticing how many ADHD people are part of our circle was: "ADHD people befriend other ADHD people because we have the same highs but also the same lows." It's wild; it makes sense. I almost take offense when someone just mentally runs at a constant level. Like why are you not sprinting in the same wrong direction, buddy? Follow me into madness right now! Big thanks to all my non-ADHD friends who buffer me. Society is a beautiful thing in that regard.
I just wanted to thank Jessica and Anthony. Because of this video, I finally found the courage to find a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD and got a diagnosis. I was diagnosis about 2 weeks ago and started Adderall last week. My life makes so much more sense now.
I have ADHD, and I hear from people all the time “your lazy” and I’m like do you understand how much i move around..
i often got called: lazy or wasting teachers their lectures about focussing in class cos they had special classes for people that had to learn to study better and of course it was the basics and they never thought people with attention deficit disorders or dyslexia, etc existed enough.... I would have to hear of classmates calling me obnoxiously loud when the hyper kicked in on my happy days and i literally had to hear teachers complain about my chaotic writing and lack of order and focus etc. took them a good twenty years of my existence to somewhat figure out I had add or adhd (still not fully diagnosed for some reason....).
You are lazy
I would just love for one of those people to spend literally 5 minutes in our brains before they try to tear their own head off. Smh
YOU INTERNALIZE IT!!
@@howiegruwitz3173 Stop trolling, its not doing anything.
the rejection sensitive dysphoria part really hit me. I used to get straight A's until 7th grade and ever since then my mother constantly tells me that "you're not trying hard enough" or "I know you can try harder" etc. and it really fucking hurts because I know that I am trying as hard as I can, but it takes me like 5 times the amount of effort it would take a neurotypical person to do anything.
I'm so very sorry you're going through that, having your mother claim that you're not trying hard enough when it takes you five times more effort than other people. I think it would be a really good idea to show her this video, then sit down the both of you and have a heart-to-heart talk about ADHD and how much her constant comments really hurt.
i 100% feel you, and i’m going through the same exact situation. just know that this time *will* pass! that’s what i tell myself.
I used to be a As student to 6th grade. Now I'm one of the worst ones in class, write Ds and had to repeat a year...
@@jasmintea8825 Why?? 😣
I used to spend almost all of my time when I got home working on homework, when I wasn’t getting distracted or procrastinating. And it always kind of hurt to see people getting the same grades as me and doing a fraction of the work. It was depressing to me and for awhile I didn’t know what my issue was
My goodness. My life. I am a 70 year old grandma with a full time job etc. I have known for about 30 years when a coworker noticed this. Self diagnosis and comparing notes with my nephew. However, it was not until last year at age 69 I got an official diagnosis. Thank you Jessica for letting me know I am not alone even though I often feel alone. Thank you Anthony for this ab video and thanks to the other two brilliant folks with adhd.
It’s the analysis paralysis with ADHD that keeps me procrastinating, if I can’t do it perfectly I don’t want to do
Hearing the phrase "if you just tried harder" or "if you just apply yourself" automatically causes my eyes to tear up no matter what. I cannot say how much I hate that phrase.
Same, I got flashbacks 🥺
Me too. I'm crying so much because I agree with them when they say that. I feel like I lost motivation for life but I am still very nervous about how my life is going so far. I feel like I'm failing myself
"Just use a planner!" Oh yeah thanks JENNIFER you totally cured my adhd now. I'll never forget an appointment or finish a project too late again! 🤦🏻♂️😤😤😤
I used to panic when my parents told me make sure I don’t do something again like loose my keys or forget things and I was always afraid to say I would try harder bc I never believed I could change it
For me all my life I've been told that I have so much potential in everything which translated to me as you could be better but you just aren't good enough right now. That's a trigger for me.
“Little alien rat child wandering around a corporeal plane” is the biggest mood
I want it on a shirt, a mug, anything
@@pennylanekane I'd buy a hoodie with that on it
I heard that and was like YES. Sometimes I am the most oblivious child on earth.
I totally understood exactly what she was talking about too!
god this calls me out so much
I rarely comment on youtube but I saw this video a bit more than 2 years ago. When I first watched it my jaw dropped at how many of the symptoms I was struggling with. I started looking more into what ADHD really was and eventually got assessed for ADHD. Now this week a bit more than 2 years after seeing this video I’ve been diagnosed with ADD! So if it wasn’t for this video I wouldn’t have been diagnosed by now!
Tbh all the symptoms contradict each other I don't even know if I got it or not, like I see people talking about u could be a good student and have adhd and others are like u get distracted in class and u get average or bad grades, some say that u can't focus the others say that u hyperfocus, some say they could sit still the others say u can't sit still for a long time. It's just weird
@@CuttingGrass___ My tip is to stop comparing with others and to look at yourself to see if you're struggling in your daily life. Some of these things have with IQ to do as well. I learned when I was diagnosed, that higher IQ can help with compensating for your ADHD. hence why some can go through school more easily than others with ADHD. But that's why your grades shouldn't matter when going through your diagnosis. Look more at how it affects other parts of your life. Can you clean your room or is it filled with dirty clothes and you've stopped to notice or can you clean your dishes? Do you have trouble remembering stuff like appointments, plans with your friends, or where you left your keys and wallet? Do you procrastinate with turning in assignments or wait until the last day of the deadline? Those are some bigger symptoms to look at. Grades shouldn't matter.
I relate to this a lot to. I’m currently speculating that I have inattentive or combined ADHD. I have many symptoms, and my dad is diagnosed with adhd (the genetic thing). I also have noticed that with my hyperactive (diagnosed) adhd friends, they have mood swings or talk really loud, while I have issues with being too quiet or day dreaming. I’ve also noticed that I have symptoms of both inattentive, and hyperactive, as I interrupt people, talk to fast, fidget with things, but at the same time, I mostly day dream and stare off into space, thinking about a random question. Last thing I’ve noticed (not really) is that I can get so focused into things that I don’t hear people, even if they are screaming at me. This also brings in time blindness; if I don’t have a set schedule, like my school schedule, I get loaded in a meaningless task for HOURS, when I only wanted to watch only a 5 minute video. Though the thing that’s really stopping me from asking my parents about it, is my grades, or the fact that I can get through things really fast in school/rush tasks. It’s really difficult for me to pay attention to things that arnt my own pace, so I usually just do stuff by myself in the corner of the room. Does this make sense? I have more to include.
@@Vuxtro oh FUUUUCK I HAVE ALL OF THOSE I THINK IM JUST LAZY OR? OH NOOOOOOO i dont get distracted easily in class tho. Like i can focus but some of the informing is just not there
We with ADHD try so hard in all aspects of our lives - work, school, relationships, our own home life - and are told we're not trying enough by neurotypical people who don't see the massive amounts of internal energy and effort it takes for us to fight our brains, to try to be neurotypical, only to end up reaching their perception of 'bare minimum.' Thank you so much for talking Jessica. My recent diagnosis of ADHD with autism as a comorbidity has lead me to her videos. She has gained a massive understanding of how our tribe functions. Hearing her explanations through research have been validating my entire life where I'd always thought I was the problem. That I was broken. That I had behavioral issues I could drop to be compliant with society if I chose to. It hurts so much to give something your all - even just getting out of bed can be a lot - only to be told "I'm sorry, but your best isn't good enough," like my previous manager told me last June. We're also told, "Why can't you just---" insert literally any activity/behavior neurotypicals see as normal here. I hate the word 'Just,' because it simplifies everything. It makes it seem like the task that 'Just' is applied to is something everyone can do, but we can't because - in their eyes - we choose not to. When in reality, we try. We really, really try. And because we can't do it, we're perceived as failed humans. We're surrounded by people who think this, so at a very early age, we start to internalize it. The first time I remember being unable to "just do it" was when I was 4, and had a meltdown during Star Tours at Disneyland in 1985. I was overstimulated, had no idea what was happening, everything was a jumble of information I didn't understand forming a ball of chaos inside me and it overloaded me. My brain "shorted out." All I could do was scream and hold onto my aunt's neck. She had a crick in her neck for the rest of the day because of me. And yet, I turned into a huge Star Wars and sci-fi nerd. I'm editing the manuscript of a sci-fi novel I wrote. Let me tell you, focusing to write is INSANELY HARD. This book would have been done 2 years ago instead of taking over 4 if I either didn't have ADHD, or had medication and help.
Please note that not everybody with ADHD has hyperactivity! It's a misconception. I just have the inattentiveness type, but I do have internal restlessness with the feeling of never getting anything done and being overwhelmed with things.
me too yes
Same, it's commonly described as ADD
Hyperactivity affects our mind as well and still counts
@@rudegamer12 ADD is not the correct term though, apparently they changed it recently
@@t.7952 yup! All people w/adhd have BOTH "types" but in different proportions and outward signs.
"Your grades are good but you could definitely do better if you'd put more effort into it." This fucked me up as a child and led me to believe my entire life that my grades were never good enough and that I was never doing enough
I am there right now with an average grade of B and it just fucks me up because i know i can get more As if i just studied more but i just can't
SAME LMA0
When I tell ppl I have mental issues (I have more then 1) I always say I'm trying my best bc ppl always say "try your best" me like bitch I am.
yah i agree same but i lead me now into having bad grades because i never felt like what i was doing was good enough so i gave up trying
Omg I can relate soooooooooooooo much
Just got diagnosed with ADHD and as a redhead, a lot of the things that are because of my ADHD just got pushed away because "Oh, you're a ginger, of course you're gonna be sensitive and enthusiastic and really quick to anger." Super weird to learn that it doesn't all come from my hair color. /gen
The question about "wasting your potential" hit very close to home for me as my oldest sister used to say this all the time and the way Bex explained it made me cry when I wasn't even expecting to with this video. This is why I love Anthony and this series.
ADHD is both over and under diagnosed in children because teachers, parents, and doctors all see it as a disorder of inconvenience for them. If you’re doing a good job of acting normal it never gets picked up
Which is why medicating children's ADHD can be so hard. It must be going fine as long as they're quiet, right?
I totally agree. Even with me being "chatty" or "not doing well in school" was all just chalked up to normal things that a little girl may do. Or she just needs glasses... I mean I did.. but still. I wasn't even diagnosed until I was in my late teens maybe even early 20s. Timelines aren't my thing..
I'm almost sure i have ADHD but until this year when i started university i was the gifted student so never bothered with a proper diagnosis, i tought who cares, i'm doing well without help and without doing much work for school Let's say that this first year of university was hell and every little problem showed up, i really didn't achieve anything and constantly felt overwhelmed And still i won't bother to get it diagnosed cause i learnt that here if you're not diagnosed while a minor and started on some type of prescription while a minor that won't happen as an adult, so even if diagnosed they will tell me to do stuff that sure, helps a bit, but i tried it and didn't fix myself enough to be productive in a meaningful way So yeah, diagnosis it's a big problem and treatment too in some places of the world Edit: to be clear, it's not that i want a prescription for something and fuck them cause they won't give me on, but here almost everything, even stuff that helps mildly and doesn't cause much of a problem as side effects, is blocked behind a prescription, i guess it's good to prevent some type of abuse but it has its cons
i was literally put in corners because of my adhd when it was un diagnosed lmao.... no teacher ever said anything, because thats not what theyre trained to look for
@@bricoley or “shes just lazy”, “shes mixed in with the wrong crowd of friends”, “she just needs to apply herself”
As someone with ADHD I appreciate this episode a lot
Same
same
I have it too
I forgot I was watching it
Same
This video was one of the reasons I started opening myself up to the possibility of having ADHD. Got diagnosed a couple months ago at 24, and though I'm still processing what it is to be diagnosed with ADHD, I'm glad I'm getting the help I never knew I needed. These videos are really informative and powerful. Thank you to everyone involved in the making of it.
This was amazing to watch other people having the same issues that I had growing up, being put in the corner to play during elementry school, having trouble with timelines or constantly forgetting everything, zoning out mid conversation... I'm 24 and I'm only now going into therapy because I'm genuinely scared for my future, I always had a feeling of being just a failure of a human, ending up homeless or having to struggle for life. I really hope that I can learn to live a good, productive life after I'm done with therapy
You can get straight As and have ADHD. Repeat that again. How well you do in school doesn't invalidate having it.
Totally! It presents differently in different people. In school I always did extremely well on tests even though I didn’t study, although because I didn’t have much structure at home I never did any of my homework so my grades were still really bad. But because of my high test scores it was assumed that I was just lazy, and I was told over and over how I just wasn’t applying myself. I was a good student, because it would have been much harder for me to just sit quietly in class I was always engaged. But then I would get home and half the time couldn’t even remember the homework that was assigned from all my classes, I would just think about how I had to do all of it and when I would try to force myself to do it I would often end up overwhelmed and in tears. Even though I knew all the information I couldn’t focus both at home and in school, it felt endless.
Whole heartedly agree. I would soar in certain subjects,but would absolutely fail in others, which would then Segway into the infamous "You have so much potential" conversations with my teachers.
I get really good grades but I am still adhd
I hate this because I always get turned away from doctors (like they won’t even give us a pamflet) because I have straight as
Yea I don’t really know what she was talking about with that one. It’s quite common for young kids and teens with ADHD to be quite intelligent or get good grades.
Another big with ADHD is being “time blind” meaning struggling to be aware of how much time has passed or how long something will take. Quick example, i thought this video came out a month ago and was so happy I was finally getting around to it.... it’s only been out a week
I hate how much i relate to this
yeah! i'm so bad at estimating things, especially how long something will take
Holy cow I do this all the time😅
Yesssss it was literally just 4am
I’m timeblind and have object permanence struggles... it’s a great mix
I was diagnosed with adult ADHD last year so watching this makes me feel seen and understood. Thank you for making this video and helping to spread awareness and take away the stigma and misinformation!
I was just recently diagnosed as an adult with ADHD-inattentive type (what used to be known as ADD), and the things my therapist asked about when we were taking the test to diagnose me were enlightening to say the least. I never realized how much my ADHD was affecting my life, not to mention before getting diagnosed, I thought it was something wrong with me. That I wasn’t applying myself. That the classes I was taking weren’t challenging enough for me. That I was just a bad student. Hearing other people having the same experience was just comforting. Thank you, Anthony, for covering this. ❤️❤️
My fear: going through the expensive process of getting diagnosed, and then being told, "yup, you're just lazy"
Omg this is me. I'm going to therapy and if at some point my therapist tells me that there's nothing wrong with me, I honestly don't know how I should react, if relieved because I'm fine or devastated because uh. so this is just me being terrible, this is who I am :D
I've been told by a therapist, you know yourself better than any doctor could. So if you are adamant try to make it clear. If you think your doctor is just a dick, go ahead and get another
@@renny1835 your therapist would never say that, unless they suck and dont want to be paid I suppose. Anyone could benefit from therapy even mentally healthy people.
No one is ever just lazy there's always some underlining factors. If not a condition you are born with then possibly stress or trauma from the environment. Like many terms used to shame people in the past they derive from not understanding. People feel proud of their jobs or their accomplishments or proud of the way people look at them. And society tried to push the same morals on everyone else in society even on other societies. it's just the symptom of the type of system we live in..
If there's anything I've learned, its that there is a clear difference between laziness and ADHD. Laziness is something you can power through. You don't get anxious about not finishing said task. You can't prioritize your goals or tasks. Laziness you can and in fact can find ways to do things efficiently so you spend less time doing it. Or you just don't care how it gets done
My ADHD distracts me from basic necessities, ex: eating, brushing teeth, showering, cleaning my room, bathroom, etc.
I know! Sometimes even when doing little everyday tasks I end up thinking about how I’m going to have to do that task tomorrow and the next and and literally forever and I just feel exhausted. Or I won’t be able to remember whether or not I already brushed my teeth for example. Or I just forget the task entirely.
@@kaileym4237 Yes!! Same!!
@@kaileym4237 I have this and i just couldn't figure out why. I just thought it was normal??
Question from someone with an ADHD fiancé.. Could your ADHD get so bad that it causes you to stop brushing your teeth altogether?
@@ifiwsaflowridbearose heck yeah! It's something that doesn't even register in my brain without structure. it's not a matter of adhd severity brushing teeth is just another thing to forget especially when thing are busy. Body doubling is something that works for me so my partner brushes it reminds me to brush mine .
I watched this when I first saw it come out. I thought it was interesting and it helped me understand my brother and how he is. It was so amazing how much I learned from this!!! I came back and watched today (6/1/23) and I was really really grateful that you had all done and shared this video. I recently ended up learning I have adhd too. So not only did this video help me with my little bro and helping him, but now it helps me too. Thank you Anthony and company!!!! 💜
I have ADHD and I love how respectful you are when asking questions! Love your Channel!
"When were you diagnosed" "Oh God!" Same, my mom knows my timeline better
Saaame!! I felt that xD
also get that omg, whenever i try to remember when something memorable happened i can never get the year right :,))
Saaaaaame 😂 she told me my magic number is 2, that’s where it all started for me.
i was diagnosed as a child but i don’t remember it i only know my whole life i have adhd
Only year of my childhood i really remember was when I was four, everything between that and middle school is kind of a blur Ps: I’m in high school 10th grade now😅😅
When Bex said, "I forgot to listen" I was like OMG YESSS!! I'll be watching TV, Movies, Tik Toks, sitting through a whole conversation and realise that I have no idea what happened for the pass 20 minutes. I'm so glad they said that.
*insert Pumba voice* OH THE PAAAAIIIIIIN,
Wait no I relate to this but I don't even have ADHD
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
@@_M1l0_ sameee
I do this all the time. I get really into something and forget to listen. I always miss things. Part of this is from my anxiety and depression I get lost in thought from all that's going on.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 31. The first time I took medication I broke down crying. I remember thinking, is this what its like to be normal? I'm not lazy or useless, i just have ADHD.
Thank you Anthony, the Fact that you treated ADHD as a serious topic for an interview like your others is what people with ADHD like myself wish more people would do
this video felt like home
I've never "yes"ed so hard in my life
for reallll
*yes*
Now if he would talk to someone with social anxiety......I'd feel at home
Yeah it felt like a safe place
"alien rat child wandering around a corporeal plane" *I felt that.*
Saame
mood
As a person ho has adhd, I will now call myself that
I think that is part of the dissociation, cause I 100% feel that way in the morning when I wake up, before I get flooded with thoughts I don't even feel myself.
Same
I just found your channel and this video made me subscribe. You talked about a lot of topics regarding ADHD that need to be talked about more, and you explained it all very well. Thank you for creating your content-- you help me feel understood!
I felt so seen and validated. I know these things are true for me and other people, but it’s so nice to see that I am not alone in this.
if I had a nickel for every time I’ve been friends with a “gifted kid” who later found out had ADHD but still struggles for perfection, I’d have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but doctors should rlly throw out the whole “you can’t have ADHD if you have straight A’s” thing
This isn't related but I love your profile picture
oh this is me! Been diagnosed for near a decade now. Was medicated but didn’t like the affects it had on me so i cut cold turkey and now i live w/ it and have little hacks that get me by
Yes! Gosh, my family don't want to make me have a diagnosis if I have ADHD or not because I am gifted, I wouldn't ever have ADHD because I have straight As! Even if I have so many symptoms of having it. It really sucks. But also! This is unrelated but I love your pfp! Venti supremacy!
IK WHAT THE HELLLLL
i wasn’t diagnosed until i was 16 or 17 because of this. i could rarely focus on a thing unless i was hyper focused on it, yet everyone threw it out the window because i was smart and i guess my parents had too much pride. i was only diagnosed after i got genetic testing which showed i had a mutated gene that gave me genetic adhd.
A lot of people don’t realize that ADHD also has a sort of opposite effect than you’d think, and that’s hyperfixation. I could be super into something for days and be super obsessive about it until I finish. Then like a week in I just drop it.
Ugh, that part's the worst. It's fun for a while, but when I'm two weeks in and I still can't think about anything except the game I've been playing for two weeks straight until I finish and I just want to do literally anything else it's like being stuck in a prison.
the amount of hobbies i’ve started and got bored with within a week are insane lmfao so much money like wasted
Yeah, this isn't fun sometimes. I finished the halo infinite campaign on legendary and got every single collectible on the map and in every level. It was terrible. I also studied a hard test for 5 hours every day for a week and passed the test and 7 months later still haven't started another one.
@@JoshuaSilverstein777 that would be me. Hello and 👋
💀💀💀💀Can relate man
I have ADHD I can confirm that it was very hard for me to focus on school work and I was always hyper. This was very helpful. Thank you.
Thank you so much for exploring this topic!! My issue growing up was being told that nothing was wrong with me because I had high test scores. I found out about my ADHD when I was 29 years old and it turned my life around!
A lot of people also don’t talk about how difficult it is to do daily tasks as a person with adhd. It is so hard and an emotional rollercoaster, because you are constantly feeling like you’re letting everyone down around you. It’s hard to stick to the simplest daily routine without forgetting or messing something up. Then you look at peers around you and your just like “why can’t I just be normal like them”.
Same
I stopped caring. If they don't like my bip bop mind then they can stay away...
OMG RIGHT
Apparently I am very good at concealing my ADHD. I was diagnosed at age 25 and when I got diagnosed I was super relieved because I finally had an explanation as to why it takes me so much more energy to live a „normal“ life, to get shit done and be on time etc.
Getting a diagnosis is not the end all be all, I was diagnosed but my parents did not only not treat me, but did not destigmatize it for me. Being told your experience along with your pain are not real and you just need to act normal. I sometimes wish I could send them all the medical proof that I am not only experiencing this but they damaged my esteem so much I am seeking therapy
When Jessica cried while talking about having potential, but not getting anything done by 31, I cried with her. This is my biggest pain right now. I am 28 and so behind in life. I'm afraid I'll never find my place at all
I’m 26 and feel that same pain. Hopefully one day we’ll have it all figured out :/
I'm 28 too and started cring as well. It's interesting because it's not a pain I think about a how lot so when she vocalized how I felt... instant tears.
31 and I’m still in school working on a new major again ugh
yo, your comment is in anthony’s newest video about kleptomania
I’m 38 and also way behind in life… My friends are settled, with husbands & children , their own houses and often running their own businesses… And here I am, single for the past 12 years, living in a rented house with my Mum, with no savings but with great debt (impulse shopper)… I’ve got a great job but maintaining it costs me my entire energy and eats up all the scraps of focus I have… I’ve always been very ambitious, straight A student until the college where suddenly there was a lot more to manage. Never went to uni although it was my dream… Every dream I had is still sat on a shelf collecting dust. And this overwhelming feeling of being the failure my whole life… I couldn’t understand it because I know I am very clever & intelligent yet everyone overtakes me in life…:( Now it all makes sense! You will find your path…🙏🏻😘
that part of it being so difficult to focus on one project because you're trying to cram everything into one day deeply resonated with me. Ever since I started high school I put more research into ADHD and I'm now on my second year of college, still undiagnosed. It's so hard to take anything step by step because you're always so overwhelmed by what it's gonna take to complete the challenge. Dad always thought I was lazy, but I just never got the help I needed
Wow, I actually learned a lot and shed some tears during this video as someone who has ADHD thank you Anthony for making this video. I’ve been watching you since I was little and I’m so glad you were able to come on your own and make this for everyone and keep making videos like this to help spread knowledge to others this video really helped me realize some things about myself. Thank you.
I'm glad I'm not the only one tearing up, especially when she talked about feeling left behind and having to do new stuff while catching up to what you missed...
me: has adhd also me: sits down for 30 minutes straight to watch a video about other people with adhd
lol I'm supposed to be doing my homework but I just had to click on this video. I watched it, dang ADHD. Now I'm behind T-T
i have homework due but i decided to watch this video and now i have to rush it :D thanks adhd :)
ive gone back to this video like 10 times lmao edit- its um 2 hours later and im yet to finish it nice to know im not the only one like this :p
its 3am and i have school tomorrow ;)
😂
“Everything else was just me failing as a person, failing as a proper human being”...... “it was really hard for me when I realized I was no longer the person who had so much potential. I was the person who hadn’t reached it”.... ouch...that hits deep in the soul right this second.....
RIGHTT!!! THAT HIT ME IN THE GUT!
Yeah the second one really hit me like a bullet
* internal 30 yo screaming intensifies *
That hit so hard
same ;-;
When Joey said he didn’t like who he was on the medications, I cried, cause that’s fr what I’m struggling with rn. Earlier I got so overstimulated that I threw my frickin phone across the room. I didn’t like the side effects of medication, but I also feel like I’m constantly battling my adhd symptoms at this point so I just don’t know what to do.
I think you need to experiment with the dosages, but obviously talk to your dr about it. Medications works for most people, but some people need to fine tune the dosages to get one that works right.
Everything Jessica said really resonated with me... thank you for sharing
when jessica talked about being the person who failed to reach their potential i broke down. i hate this. i dont have the money to get a diagnosis, but i KNOW i have ADHD. ive struggled for so long and no one sees it, everyone just sees the "failed potential" and think it's laziness
Oh no! *hugs* i understand that feeling my psychologist told me That i wouldn't be a career i wanted like SERIOUSLY!?
It should not cost money to get a diagnosis from a psychologist. Change my mind.
Jochem Goede exactly!! the health care system in america is so messed up, the fact that some people would rather risk their life than take an ambulance due to the bills that rack up is just insane. it shows how everything is about money. diagnosis, going to the doctor for a check up, etc should _all be free_ .
i’m so sorry you’re going through this :(( being in a tough financial situation can be incredibly hard. there are programs that can help you pay for medical bills/provide money for you to go to the doctor and another option is setting up a gofundme type of thing for others to help you out. hopefully this helps you a little bit, i truly wish you the best
Definitely check out Jessica's youtube channel "HowtoADHD". Even if you cannot get a diagnosis, she has a lot of helpful content that can make things better and improve your situation.
As a person living with ADHD I relate so much to Joey explaining waking up everyday ready to take on your whole "to-do" list but as the day progresses you end up doing nothing because you are overwhelmed by needing to do everything. It's such a vicious cycle and as an adult we are "supposed" to be organized, goal driven, able to complete tasks on our list, etc. When you have ADHD it makes you feel like you are not good enough, you're just lazy, and you question yourself daily as to why you aren't doing better. Really enjoyed this video..thank you for bringing light to what those of us who live with this disorder have to go through.
I feel this so much. My todo list will have about 3 tasks that are extremely simple. Like write an email, make a phone call, go to walmart. I will only complete 1 thing by the end of the day with great struggle in even doing the one thing. And i know how simple the tasks are, but I just cant make myself do them. I am 3 weeks behind in my college work rn and I havent successfully sent that email since February. I am really struggling out here
Me too
Same
Same.
The concept of "wall of awful" on Jessica's channel (2 vids - 13min) addresses this IMHO perfectly and has definitely put a lot of perspective (not hyperlinking cause it looks dodge 🤣) PS She has an amazing community
As someone with adhd I’m happy to see people talking more about this topic as it can very easily get thrown under the rug. Great video
Your questions are so great and the participants answers are so spot on! Thank you for this video. One of the best I’ve watched so far and also nice and fresh and energetic❤
I always felt overlooked as a girl with adhd because the more standardized “traits” or whatever you want to call it of adhd are based off men with adhd and it differs between genders
Same here! I just got diagnosed a few months ago and I'm almost 21 - the thing that brought it to light was going to college and having all of my structure and accountability systems DESTROYED and then suddenly being like "haha what is life and how do I do _anything productive??"_
I got diagnosed at 6 with ADHD, I only think I got my diagnosis because my older brother and my father were both diagnosed as adhd and they knew it was genetic. Unfortunately I didn't get diagnosed as autistic until 21. :/
@Falcon Fern thank you!! I'm working on it slowly but surely. I hope you're able to get a diagnosis and start getting proper treatment as well :)
Thank you. I have not only been ignored by my mother, but even my THERAPIST disregarded me because “I have good grades”
Me toOooo! I was diagnosed last year, and I'm also 21! Growing up, I was always the "weird/freak" girl in schoo and l was like, "why are you like this?". Now I imbrace my ADHD! Pop off y'all! 🤪
I have adhd and being “overwhelmed by thoughts and unable to function in the way modern society sees as normal” is A MOOD
@Corporal Adrian Shepard I’m literally sharing my experiences why are you mocking me
@Corporal Adrian Shepard yh why u moking i have ADHD i dont appreciate that!
@@pennyw2226 ik right
@Corporal Adrian Shepard As someone with ADHD..No honey, you can't.
I love how dramatic it is. He is so empathetic and this shows how he wants others to understand it too :D
This is where I first learnt about ADHD, all my life I was just labeled as lazy, thank you so much Anthony! You completely changed my life with this video.
Oh my god! That part where you feel terrible for wasted potential and being overwhelmed because you to do what you need to do now AND what you should have done before resonates with me a lot!
ADHD is like trying to remember something that was never told to you (Edit) Thanks for 1.5 k likes 👍
Oh my god yes
I have never felt more understood. Yes. Just yes.
for real
LITERALLY
thats it. thats it. thats the feeling
When Jessica talked about “running out of time”, not being where she should be in life, not reaching her full potential, and feeling like a failure, that literally punched me right in the gut... I seriously felt that so much it hurt 😩😔
same i started crying lmao back at it again with the unregulated emotions
Me too you’re not alone
I definitely shed a tear or two there. She put it into the best words for that overwhelming feeling.
I feel like this feeling is literally every day of my life right now :(
i know i was crying
I cried several times with this video, they were telling things about my life like it was something normal and saying that they struggled with it too.... Hearing that I'm not the only "golden child" feeling like I'm human trash now and being stressed about everything everyone does so easily...
i myself dont have adhd but my friend has and i was able to see the signs and honestly I'm glad i met her she was more hyped to hang out and made more friends than me. she was even great with lil kids more imaginative and she was very comforting gave lots of hugs