I spent a day with people w/ PTSD
I spent a day with PEOPLE W/ PTSD to learn the truth about this common, yet highly misunderstood disorder. Sponsors ▸Go to betterhelp.com/padilla to get 10% off your first month! ▸Visit joinhoney.com/PADILLA to get Honey for FREE.
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▸ Kenny - instagram.com/lostimaginations_pryahoocom/ & lostimaginations.com/
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Ooh!
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Hi
You should spend a day with therapists. As a therapist intern, I'd love to see what are common questions that people would ask therapists, and the different perspectives they can bring.
I’m not a therapist but aren’t they supposed to not talk about anything their clients have told them so they wouldn’t be allowed to talk about questions they get asked.
@@ABC-ji1lq of course they can’t talk about clients but I’m sure there are other questions that people may want to ask therapists regarding their job/lives that doesn’t involve confidential info
@@ABC-ji1lq theyre allowed to talk about situations as long as they dont give any indication on who that client was. I have a favorite podcast called psychology in seattle and they talk about experiences with clients but dont tell names, genders, career etc
I am about to be a psychologist next year, I was thinking this same thing!
Been asking for this episode!!
the "trauma olympics" thing is honestly such a complicated issue. like we shouldn't invalidate anyone's struggles but also we shouldn't throw around the word ptsd like it means nothing
Its really stupid, when I talk to someone about my problems they feel the need to talk about how their problems are worse like dude I just want someone to listen.
@@captainmustacheio7493 ah sorry I meant more the clinical side of things/people throwing around mental illnesses like they're emotions. but yeahhh it's really annoying when people feel the need to one up your problems
@@canoncorgi oh I thought you ment the more annoying side of it but yea I agree, its like mental illness and disorders are an aesthetic now
@@captainmustacheio7493 yeah same Like, one time I opened up to my boyfriend about my dad physically abusing me. I repressed all those memories and I didn’t even realize it had happened til I was 17... or I did, but I also didn’t? It’s hard to explain. Same experience as Kenneth. The memories were there but I wouldn’t let myself acknowledge them. When I told my boyfriend, he started off with “it’s a good thing you can’t remember.” Everyone always says that. It’s not a good thing. I thought I was inherently flawed as a person for so long because I was so sad and scared all the time, but I couldn’t see that there was a reason behind it. I thought I had no right to feel that way because nothing happened. Then he followed it up with everything that his mom put him through: marrying a guy who got convicted for murder, not feeding him enough, beating him worse than my dad beat me (at least, I assume. I still don’t know for sure how bad it was for either of us) ect. These things are all incredibly shitty but the more he talked, the guiltier I felt about not being able to remember what happened to me when it was so much worse for him. You know how all these people in the video can’t stand feeling weak? I’m the same and I hated myself *so* much in that moment, I can’t explain it to you. Every part of myself.
I have diagnosed ptsd and underwent treatment for it, but people often don't believe me or don't believe it's that serious. I have been dealing with this for 6 years, and it still impacts me. I can't concentrate, it's hard for me to learn new information, I get extremely frustrated and angry very easily, and I can't recall memories or information well anymore. I have to write things down. I still have nightmares occasionally. Having PTSD or CPTSD has lifelong consequences!
“That happened so long ago, get over it” I was told by my sexual assault therapist that when someone wants you to “get over it” they’re really asking you to “be quiet and be silent” what does getting over it look like to that person? For you to be silent?
That wouldnt be the response of someone with morals and professionalism i'm sorry they said that to you remember you should never feel silenced. Peace
@@crowlc9416 btw u could say they instead of he/she. More respectful plus proper English
@@zerofornow right, english isn't my first language so im still tryna learn. Thanks
@@crowlc9416 okay
@@crowlc9416 They meant their abuser, not the therapist! Just clarifying bc u said "professionalism".
The way Shaylena just described seeing the younger her as a different person is what I've been trying to explain to people in my life so that's kinda epic
I do the same too! Seeing pictures of myself as a child/teen brings me emotional turmoil so I distance myself by calling that girl “her”
I do it too, we all in the same boat out here 💙
my young self was horrible and I try to move on from it. I also refer to my younger self as "her" because it just hurts to associate with that person now. It actually really helps
Same. I view past me as a different person. And I feel pain and regret when I look back at that me. I feel for them like they were someone else. And to this day, I feel like I am 2 people. The body and then the mind. I hurt my body but then I feel bad for it. And then the body hurts me and I feel like this "me" doesn't deserve it. Even when I practice positive thinking, I have to imagine 2 people so that it feels more...real.
Sameeeee
I want to see “I spent a day with Anthony Padilla” I feel like you have your own story to tell 🥺
I would honestly love to see it.
Yeeeees i was about to comment that, only if he wants to of course
Dude, I was JUST thinking that! The way he relates his own stories to the people he interviews really intrigues me.
you should def watch his draw his life story!! it’s really good i recommend! but i 100% agree with you i would love to watch this!
They sorta did this in the Trash Tase podcast, actually titled "We Spent a Day with Anthony Padilla"
As someone who struggles with PTSD, this video means everything
Same ❤️
Same. No one to talk with about it so I was glad to listen to them
Same ❤️
Such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders with this video, means a lot to me and I’m sure everyone else suffering.
Same 💕
Child-on-child SA needs to be talked about more often. It happened to me, and apparently, to a lot of people.
Especially in the teen years. So many kids pressured by others
Yep I feel that my first memory is me in a complex hanging out with this boy named Joel n we were "exploring" or playing house n his mom walked in I was maybe 7 ❤
I’ve been hearing so many cases lately about child on child SA…and I feel a lot of it comes down to parents not teaching there kids the importance of keeping hands to themselves! Every kid needs to understand that They shouldn’t be touching any other child anywhere other then maybe the other kids hand to give something…Because then that leads to curiousity/cluelessness and they end up doing things they shouldn’t.
Honestly
I have diagnosed PTSD from mental abuse I went through as a kid. I was emotionally abused by my father for over 8 years and still am whenever I get to see him. For a very very long time I thought that my pain didn't matter because he never touched me. He never layed a finger on me. If anyone is reading this with at least a drop of similarity I want you to know that emotional abuse is abuse. It's traumatic. Your pain and emotions are valid. You deserve to be heard and loved. Take care.
ya, its sad how no emotional abused ptsd people were in the video. I was emotionally abused and bullied and now i have ptsd.....I still am glad theres a video on it, but ptsd is not just sexual assult or war victims
@Miranda cutie cat Damn straight, never thought I'd need to hear this so bad on a Wednesday afternoon. Thanks, means a lot. Been through a good few years of bullying and terrible stuff, was told that because I had no physical scars from it it didn't matter. You have no idea how invalidated I get sometimes because people say I haven't been through enough for it to matter. Kudos to you, ya almost had me in tears 💙
As someone who'd dealt with emotional and mental abuse from my mother, I can relate very much to what you thought. That feeling of invalidating your emotions because "well, she doesn't hit me" or "oh, well it could be worse". I recently did a test answering questions that my psychiatrist had me fill out (idk if cognitive test is the right word?) but I scored high for PTSD, among other things I had already been previously diagnosed with. Idk if that was an official diagnosis, but I remember being surprised. I didn't realize how much it had effected me since it was just normal. I remember bring confused because I described some of my symptoms to my triplet sister (getting scared at loud noises or footsteps, being upset when some raises their voice at me, flinching, etc) and they said they had never experienced that. I remember being confused why, since we went through the same things. I realized that we did have different experiences as well as different coping mechanisms and the way our brains dealt and perceived it. We're all different and if one person develops PTSD because of it and someone else doesn't, that doesn't mean you're weaker. It just means that you're different and that's okay
My younger sister was recently diagnosed with PTSD from being mentally abused and I am trying to learn how to be there for her since she just started therapy. Do you maybe have some tips for how I as her older sister can help her going through it?
@@desiree3792 I also have an older sister and honestly both of us never stop learning how to help 😅 Everyone is different so I'd say really listen to her. It's painful to remember trauma. Learn her triggers if she has any and if she does get triggered just let her know you're there for her. If she asks you to leave her alone do so. I guess it's mostly just....listen to her. As I said in the original comment, never forget that her trauma is valid. It's painful to remember. And just looking at you're comment I can tell-shes lucky to have a sister who cares and wants to be there ♡
“it happened so long ago, get over it” that sentence is so damaging, and i can’t tell you how many times i’ve heard it. when something traumatic happens to you as a child it affects your development and changes who you are as a person. the trauma grows with you and if you weren’t allowed to acknowledge or work through it, it will plague you for your life. it doesn’t matter how long ago it was, you can’t just get over it
my dad says this to me, and it hurts because I know it's how his own dad taught him to cope. I've seen it make him miserable, but he survived. I just want to be authentically happy and communicate with him openly. The hardest part for me is feeling like this cycle just continues. I hope if I choose to have children I can break that cycle.
@@technicolorheroes i think you will be able to break the cycle, if you have kids of your own. being able to identify that there is a cycle and know how your words and actions affect your kids is the first and most important step
This comment made me cry. Because it's true. I was abused as a child by a family member. I didn't really know at the time that what he did was wrong. It happened only once but when I grew up I realized what he did. Decades already passed but there are moments that I remembered it then I just cry.
@@lazy_blipblop I FEEL this! I was sexually assaulted by my former stepfather who I thought I could TRUST as long as I had known the man. The day after it happened, I was told not to tell anyone and I didn't for fear of what he would/could do to me. He was verbally and emotionally abusive to my mom and younger sister whereas I got more of the physical from him as I would fight back with words and it'd piss him off. Took me almost a year before I told anyone about my assault. I did go to a hearing between him and my mom for their divorce on the off chance that I would have to testify against him and I didn't. Some of my classmates didn't believe me. They thought I made that story up just for attention. My mom and sister both were diagnosed with PTSD from the man. I didn't but I witnessed and still do witness how it has affected them over the years. My sister has now healed enough with the proper treatment for her that works for her to call this her lable.
“It doesn’t matter, you are/were too young to know anyways. it probably didnt/doesn’t happen”
"You're not broken enough", that hit home. I've never had a therapist say this, but UK doctors have. Was turned away from A&E and GP for "not being bad enough for help", and I'm sure many others have too. It's a sad world.
It's so invalidating! I remember having social workers and my own therapist tell me that some kids had it worse so they weren't sure if they should allow me to get out of my abusive home. I feel like that's not something any kid or adult should be told regarding their trauma, it's not a damn competition!
This frequently happens in the uk, a lot of my friends and myself have been told either we aren’t bad enough to help. One therapist of mine even said about a way one of her clients self harms and that put ideas in my head. I’ve had more bad experiences than good with uk therapists
Wow didn't realise this was something others experience in the UK. Thought it might be because I'm not a citizen.
@@chelsealouise3203 that's devastating to hear. I have to admit that a lot of therapist are not good at their jobs. I knew a girl who has 3 masters in psychology, a phd on her way and she's been working with clients for over 10 years and she still cant get her own mental illness under control (she has bpd traits. ) therapists usually go into this field to study their own mind/emotions and not so much to help others.
yea, both doctors and therapists have said it to me, it's so annoying
You should do a video of children who were exploited. I’m talking about like beauty pageants, family channels, and stuff like that. I was severely exploited via beauty pageants from ages 3-7 and was also forced to do cheerleading and wear small uniforms that barely covered me. Child exploitation is something that shouldn’t be ignored.
This is a really good topic idea to bring up, it grinds my fucking gears every time I see anything relating to it. Completely monetized exploitation and abuse is so dehumanizing to see.
i cant stand people living through their children , making money through their children, it’s sick
ur so right he should do that
when the sad part is its mostly our own family who gaves us ptsd we can go through this guys !
This !!! I have so much trauma from childhood and from the people I live with (living with family still). I feel like this isn’t talked about a lot or I don’t hear it from anyone outside of my friend group
It's the feeling of being trapped that hit home the most for me. These people are supposed to care for you and protect you, but now you're in a house that isn't a home, more like solitary confinement, and you have nowhere else to go.
@@dovee1 Omg… Yes… Trapped is definitely a familiar feeling. Like being in a war zone with no escape.
Oh my god, yes. Thank you for saying this. It really hit hard, due to me being in a environment like you explained. My mother was nice, for the most part, But sometimes she'd just get set off and take her anger out on me, like a stress toy. I ended up calling the police after I turned twelve. Emotional abuse is a valid form of abuse, and I dont understand why people don't get that. It's like being confined to chains because THEY don't understand you. Even though i'm older, I still think about it alot. Being in a confined environment like that is not fun. And I really do hope it's taken to notice. Thank you for this.
Facts! It may not be war but it feels like war for anyone who's been through it
I have C-PTSD and what Shaylena said about how she felt that her younger self was an entirely different person is so real. I can't look at pictures of myself from before my trauma and see that person as myself- as Shaylena said, that person looking back at me is too innocent and pure to be me. I really loved how she worded that part.
I related to that as well. It is so difficult to look at childhood pictures of me. I have flashbacks and have massive panic attacks bc when I see that girl in the pictures I start reliving the trauma. I've been in therapy for 20 years and I still have severe flashbacks. I also have severe depression, Bipolar disorder and severe trouble coping with any type of trauma. It all stems from the trauma in my childhood and just builds every time something happens. I am also an empath and I have other people's trauma that builds on top of my own.
It feels like the person you were back then is a stranger and it’s terrifying, because I feel that way too about me from before my first big trauma at age 13. Recently got diagnosed with CPTSD, at age 20 and I feel like it explains a lot about how I wasn’t Abel to cope with my past experiences.
Same. Just got diagnosed with C-PTSD and ADHD and life makes so much more sense now. But anytime I look at old photos, I feel like I'm looking at a stranger.
yes.. looking at that girl thinking how strong she was. but you're even stronger now too❤️god bless everyone in these comments who relates.
Highly relatable. Blessed be, may your journeys and efforts bring you peace ♡
My friend has PTSD and once seeked help through our school. She was doubting herself and said ‘I know I sound crazy don’t I’ and our head of year replied ‘yeah you do sound crazy’. She has had panic attacks, has sat crying for hours just to be called crazy by someone who doesn’t understand her or PTSD. People really don’t understand mental health.
Wow that’s awful
Yeah it's a big problem. I feel like schools are really bad in that area too. I'm so sorry your friend went through that but I'm so glad to see you here giving her a voice. I love you 💙
schools suck, I have never dealt with anything to the scale of your friend, but I did go through my school trying to avoid accepting I have adhd for some reason, blaming my lack of attention and hyperactivity on the food I ate or even my parents.
Your head of year shouldn't be your head of year, in my opinion.
Schools really don’t care. They pretend they do but they just don’t. The trauma I’ve got just from my school experience…anyway, I hope your friend is in a better place now and getting much needed help! ❤️
God, when she talked about how she saw her younger self as someone different, that really hit hard. I have been diagnosed with PSTD so I know exactly what they are talking about.
Same I just stop think of little her as me since I keep thinking ,no that cant be me that didn't happen. PTSD is tough
I feel the exact same. When i look at photos of me as a young child i feel no connection. Like everyone tells me thats me but I dont feel like it is at all.
I don't have ptsd but I do have trauma and I feel exactly the same. Part of me doesn't want to relate to this person because I was weak but also because I'm a completely different person now than I was then. I had to kill younger me in order for future me to stay alive and survive.
@@cennix Over the years it does get better. I completely understand what you mean too but sometimes I see my past self as someone that went through a lot of challenges and had gotten through it. Don't be so hard on yourself in the end.
@presley9679 thank you, that made me feel a lot better. Some part of me still mours for my younger self before the trauma, my young self was just so much more colourful and happy. I miss her :(
"Oh you're not broken enough, I don't need to see you" actually happened to me. I wish it wouldn't happen to anyone but sometimes therapists are just horrific. I don't have PTSD, but she made me see a PTSD specialist. That's okay, that was good to know i don't have PTSD. But she told me things like "you're useless to your boyfriend" or "you're never gonna get out of this if you're not making any effort" (it took all my energy to see her lmao). "I can't help you, you don't have anything!" Like b*tch don't say things like that to someone you don't know, and don't do this if you suspect PTSD like wth what's the logic. She made me fear psychiatrists. So yes, it happens, sadly. But if it ever happens to you, know that it's not your fault, you're not useless, you're seeking help, and it's a huge step towards healing. Don't let anybody treat you like that to the point you believe it ; especially somebody who's supposed to help you.
really upset to hear that that happened to you!! i hope you know that you’re completely valid and it is definitely possible to find another psychiatrist that actually cares
I struggle with Ptsd after witnessing a machete attack when out with my friends. This has affected me in many ways if someone mentions it I can have a flashback or for instance I was out with friends again and I saw someone get put in a chokehold for trying to steal a phone and as a result I had a very vivid flashback and for the rest of the night I thought everyone who I didn't know was carrying a knife. I wake up from nightmares a lot and I'm trying to get over it through therapy. I respect Anthony a lot for bringing these issues to the surface as its often something that people repress. I was listening to his guests and realising we are in the same Boat regardless of the trauma we have experienced/ witnessed. I advise anyone who is struggling to seek therapy as talking can often be the best kind of help. My love goes out to you all and I hope your having a good day, good night, good afternoon wherever you are - Nath
I am so sorry you had to witness that. I’m so happy that you’re in therapy and going through the process of healing. I can’t imagine how hard that is to deal with. Sending love ❤️
Thank you for sharing your struggles 💙 I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Thank you for sharing your story ❤ I hope you won't experience something like that again
I am so sad you had to see and live those awful things. I wanted to say, therapy is THE way to have a healthy life with PTSD. Idk where I'd be without my therapist, and for me I feel like I will forever go to her whenever I feel I'm not ok, but also research, read about it and learn so you can notice when is comming and also talk about it with the people around you so they can support you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
thank you so much for having me on this episode 🥰
thank you for sharing your story shaylena 💞
Yoo
Why isn’t this comment on the top
How did you get on the episode? I would like to somehow share my story sometime through doing stuff like this but idk how. Also you are very brave. Thx for being willing to take the time to do this.
We love you, Shayleena! Thank you for sharing your story with us!
I really like how Anthony doesn’t cut them off after the 5 seconds and let’s them finish speaking
i was diagnosed with CPTSD at 14 years old (around 4 years ago), and im glad CPTSD (reoccurring traumatic event(s) was mentioned and not just PTSD. and also talking about other things, not just sexual assault/abuse which seems to be a common thought that comes up when most people think about PTSD. trauma is trauma. there is no such thing as “small trauma”; minimizing and invalidating trauma because it seems “less than” is not okay. but thank you so so much for this, anthony, autumn, shaylena and kenneth. genuinely. 💕
yep. my trauma is from watching floodwaters rise when i was only 3. for years people have called me ridiculous for having panic attacks when it rains but this comment made me feel better
When Kenneth said what his father told him, forget and move on. It's a good method to just forget the past and live a new life. But that was cynical enough ... when it's hard to let go of all this bad thing that hurt you. I do not even imagine how difficult it will be to do ((
I almost cried, I was told the same exact thing by my mom. Is hard, and you know what I gave it a thought cause I thought she was right, but then I realized, that's exactly what I did my hole life! I forgot so much that it f*ck me up when all came back and there is still some stuff that come out from time to time at random.
I feel this. I try to communicate my feelings with my family and they just say I'm too sensitive and need to be stronger. I fear I have to accept they are not going to heal this trauma with me.
I one time talked to a counselor, (I don't have ptsd btw) and she said "Why not just move on?" Like, yeah... geez... why didn't I think of that...? Anyway, I can sort of relate in this type of situation cause of that.
@@joenysfraticelli9485 True, we must let go, forget and live on, but the problem is how to do this ?? when this trauma does not come out of the head ???? and the larger the wound, the more painful it is, and the longer it heals ... and affects your life
As a person who carries a baggage of trauma from the past I can say that you can try to move on. Forget? Never. When something hurts us physically and psychologically it is impossible to forget, it is what protects us from similar future situations. Fear is a natural instinct, being afraid for example, to put a hand on a burning flame, because it burns us, is what prevents us from putting our hand on the fire, when we have learned that fire hurts. The same is true for any kind of trauma. This is said by a person who did not answer the phone for a year, even if he knew the number of who he was calling. You don't have to live in the past, it's true, but no one can change it ... you can only look forward and try to live with what you have.
Thank you for giving me a chance to share my story! I hope that it is able to reach the hearts that need to hear some healing words 💕
you are inspiring! thank you for using your voice. i love your smile so please keep smiling and you’re a strong woman. thankyou for your courage
Hi
You definitely reached my heart! Thank you so much for sharing your story. 💞🙌💞
Just a few hours ago I watched Thoraya's video where strangers share their secrets. And now I watched this video. I was really surprised to recognize you in this video. You are even wearing the same shirt haha.
@@nvm4086 hahaha I told her that too! I’m Like “people on KZhead are gonna think I own one shirt” 🤣🤣🤣
As someone who has experienced child on child sexual abuse I realised a lot of people don't take what happened seriously and find excuses. It diminishes our trauma.
I have c-ptsd, and i felt it to my core when shaylena talked about seeing her younger self as a completely different person. I remember I mourned for my younger self. It felt like that girl died. I still mourn her.
I know exactly what you mean
Way too relatable
That joyful innocent little girl has died.... I still try to act like her.... Pretend that... That girl IS me... But I still present her to the world... That's why probably all my friends think I'm like the most innocent in the group and the most childish one.....
same, and not that I recommend it for everyone, but psilocybin mushrooms really helped my mental health. I’m still healing, still reconnecting with my old self, but it’s helped me realize that I am whoever I think I am, and I can connect with people a lot easier, finally put myself in their shoes instead of just dismissing them since nobody understands me. ive remembered a lot of repressed childhood memories over the months after my experience. overall memory & emotions are growing stronger tbh. it’s been two years now, and I’m finally back to working. I call it a win. I haven’t been a normal person since I was a kid :’) we’re getting there
i cant even describe the joy i felt hearing someone else say, out loud, that they were sexually abused by their older sibling. then hearing ANOTHER person say that? sibling abuse isnt something you hear about. its always parents or uncles or cousins. i didnt realize how much i wanted to hear someone talk about that until now and i feel so relieved that i want to cry and sexual trauma too. theres such a sense of shame that comes with feeling repulsed by sex. god its such a relief to hear that its not just me. consciously i know it isnt just me but hearing it makes such a massive difference...
Your not the only one. This happened to me to. I hope ur doing ok
It happened to me when I was 5, I feel the same way
As someone for who it was a cousin, what made me feel better was to hear the ages. I always thought somehow it was "less worse" or "more justifyable" for him because he was a young teen and not an older adult, and I thought that getting out of it by myself made it more only my responsability than how it was for other people, so I had less right to talk about it... This whole video was a good idea.
@@naolucillerandom5280 same. i was a teenager and my sibling was a young adult. teenagers being assaulted needs to be talked about more, thats very much still p*dophilia
It happened to my 11 year old sister who recently came out and told us because she was scared. You arent alone, and you and my sister are incredibly strong
He's gone from jokingly skit interviewing flat-earthers to these serious interviews. I do find myself straying away but I'm proud to see these. He's come so far!
That flat earther thing wasn't a skit actually! Anthony was trying to interview people who were flat earthers to see why they might think that way and what their logic is. I definitely agree though, he's come a very long way.
@@Dragonindigo245 Are you sure? Jeez, some of the stories seemed very comical. Though I could be mistaking it for the Alien one? Either way thanks for correcting me!
@@grime69 Yeah I'm sure. Anthony remains very respectful of those he interviews, even if they are a big nutty. The only comical ones I can think of are the Thomas Sanders one and the very old animators interview. He tries to keep beliefs to a respectable level and stuff like CC's a bit comedic.
“…Sometimes existing is exhausting…” The understatement of the decade.
I'm so happy that Kenny is in this because not many men come out to tell their story. My little brother got SA by my cousin and I always felt responsible since I was meant to be watching them but my aunt had me help her sign up her daughter for school. My cousin took my brother to my parents room and kicked out my little sister. I noticed that something felt odd and went into my parents room. It was too late but nothing was ever done towards her even tho it angered my mom when she came home from work. He was around 7 and I was 13 and ik he struggles with it years later.
how old was the cousin & did he go to jail? i really hope your parents told the police
man i can’t reply to all the comments but i’ve been scrolling through reading peoples stories and i just wanna say i’m so proud of you all for sharing your traumas and i want nothing but the best for anyone reading this. and thank you anthony for shedding light on topics that mean so much to so many people that aren’t talked about like they should be! If anyone needs a friend or is going through a hard time please reply i would love to be your friend :)
Seriously, I get so scared to talk about my trauma because nothing physical happened, it was all psychological, and I keep seeing these people online and in person saying stuff like: "You don't have any physical scars, so you don't have trauma. You're just attention seeking." Which absolutely hurts. Others need to realize that what isn't traumatic to them may be extraordinarily traumatic to others.
@@maggieeight-ball16 Agreed!!! there’s so many experiences that i’ve gone through that i justified to myself that i wasn’t physically harmed so it wasn’t abusive/traumatic to me but psychological harm can do more damage in the long run to the way a person lives the rest of their life, i’m wishing you the best, your pain is absolutely valid and no one should have to experience feeling like they’re trauma isn’t real. if it effects you it 100% matters. fuck anyone who says otherwise. they are just lucky enough to not have experienced it
@@jade_kms Legit. People like you help me feel more confident talking about it. I feel so validated when people tell me I'm not over reacting. Especially when you consider the type of person I was before I had my experience, I hope it'd make it make more sense why I'd react the way I did.
Tysm that's very kind of u :)
I wonder what that girl meant by we all experience trauma, like what did she meant by trauma, the girl with multi colored hair
As someone who grew up with a loving family, a welcoming church community, and all the social benefits that come from being a tall white dude, I wasn't expecting to experience trauma that would give me PTSD. But when my wife nearly died after delivering our second daughter, I began having regular panic attacks. These would often be triggered by something as simple as a childbirth scene in a movie, or sometimes have no apparent trigger whatsoever. Thankfully, with the help of my doctor, my wife, and the passage of time, I've been able to overcome a lot of the effects of that trauma. This episode is very important, and thank you for interviewing these guests.
Thank you for sharing with us all!
Im so glad CPTSD was mentioned, as well as Autumn's series of events being her trauma. As someone with diagnosed CPTSD it was so refreshing to be able to be acknowledged since a lot of PTSD representation is like, superheroes and war veterans or extreme violent acts or only sexual assault. I didnt realize I was holding my breath until it was mentioned, after which I sighed in relief.
so many people get ignored just because they weren't SA'd or a victim of violence.. the root of my trauma was a nasty divorce followed by abuse by school peers
Could you spend a day with FOSTER CHILDREN? And learn about their experiences?? I just got out of foster care and have always felt so alone and embarrassed bc I never knew how much kids are actually in foster care ❤️
I started therapy this year thinking I had just depression and anxiety and ended up being diagnosed with CPTSD and a mood disorder. Most of my family doesn't believe me, however, because the only person with PTSD they've been around is my grandfather who fought in the Cold War whose symptoms are much more intense than mine. I guess they don't believe that the physical and emotional abuse I went through for 8 years straight and abandonment by my parents warrants a PTSD diagnosis.
I’m so sorry your family doesn’t believe you. It’s not nearly the same as having loved ones there for you, but just know your not alone. We are so many people going through similar issues and we do believe you ❤️ I truly hope you get the support you need to find some healing ❤️🩹
If you’re comfortable sharing could you explain the difference between PTSD and CPTSD? If you don’t want to that’s okay, and I’m sorry that happened to you, no one should have to go through that
@@cglint I really appreciate that, thank you. 💕💕
@@icypopsicle9082 hi there. PTSD is usually related to a single traumatic event while Complex PTSD is related to multiple traumas over an extended period of time.
My partner didn't believe me either. I ended up attacking him in my sleep & I never knew or realized it. After that he believed me. Don't do this, but eventually there will be something weird or off about your behavior through no fault of your own & they will realize. Please invest in quality therapy, quality food & simple exercise habits. You owe yourself self love ❤
I would love to hear more about male survivors! It's so important for men to come forward and tell their stories so other men dont feel so alone and ashamed.
Agreed, this and same gender assaults.
As a 22 years old male that's been abused sexually by a drum teacher that I've seen like a dad from 12 to 14 years old. I can't help but cry about it alone and trying to cope by drinking and watching videos of people talking about it, so yeah we definitely need this. By the way if anyone reading this has similar problems go check out the therapist episode with Corey Taylor the singer from slipknot. He experienced a lot of trauma and abuse and talks about it openly, it may help you just like it helped me.
@@mreddyfeelgood I’m so sorry you had to go through that. No one should have to experience that trauma and pain. I hope you are in a better place now.
@@mreddyfeelgood i am proud of you that now you are able to talk/type that. I hope it was cathartic to you. I salute you. I hope you're doing okay now and continue being great :)
@@mreddyfeelgood i'm so sorry this happened to you. you absolutely didnt deserve it. i think you're so brave for saying this. i wish you the best in life. sending love and prayers :)
As a person with PTSD, I just want to thank you for being so respectful during your interviews. Last year my ptsd symptoms got so bad my dr was afraid I had early onset dementia (mine manifests in severe memory loss). I've spent the last year implementing new coping mechanisms to move forward. Seeing others describe their stories is so helpful for me, and I'm sure it is for others too. Thank you. 💜
Oh man. I’ve lost a lot of my memory too due to PTSD! It’s like my brain can’t contain the information anymore. It sucks!!
i’ve been a SA survivor for almost 8 years, and the ptsd will never leave.
i can’t express how less alone i feel hearing two people discuss how they were molested by an older sibling
Especially when you feel like you can’t tell anyone or talk about it, makes it so much harder
Should we start a band?
Same but for me it was an older cousin. It was so confusing bc I knew if an adult did it to me it was wrong, but if it were another child??? It took me so many years to accept that it was traumatic
Same here & to hear from people who are further along in life & on different journeys. I relate to aspects from each one of them & that overall feeling of disbelief or unsupportive families & carrying that burden yourself. I’ve been in SA counselling for over a year now & it’s done so much for me. If you are thinking about starting counselling - DO IT. It will change your life. It will be hard at first but then it will get easier to manage & self soothe in hard times & easier to confront your trauma & trauma responses!! Love to you all ❤️
Yeah! I feel like that's something no one ever talks about seriously, people only sexualize it
PTSD is so painful to deal with, I'm glad more people are bringing awareness to it, and I'm glad Anthony is here to talk about it.
It was pretty rough to hear Autumn say “oh a counselor will NEVER say you’re not broken enough for treatment” when that literally happened to me and my husband🙃
Yeah happened to me and a lot of people in the UK too
i don’t think she meant for free
As a survivor it makes me sad that lots of people have been r@ped. What makes me happy is that you are kind to them and don't pressure them to answer questions that make them feel uncomfortable.
From the perspective of a male survivor with CPTSD, I cannot stress enough how important it is to de-stigmatize trauma and sexual abuse. Over 70% of child survivours take thier abuse to thier grave and do not talk to anyone.
Part of it is because they don’t even realise they were abused. It happened to me. I blocked some of it out and some of it I was never told was abuse. I didn’t get ptsd until I realised what happened or maybe I had it and that’s when it got worse. Parents need to tell children what’s ok, what’s normal, what’s safe and that if something happens to go to them for help.
it's devastating that 2 of the people in this episode were SA'd by their own siblings
SA is almost always a family member or someone close. The child usually trusts the abuser.
That's why you should always believe a child that tells you about it.. so sad
Nugget what happens a lot of time is the kid doesn’t understand what happened was wrong. The guy in this video didn’t quite understand. It seems the girl didn’t understand until she got a little older.
Unfortunately it’s often minimized because it’s usually child on child abuse :/
I was too.
About the repressed memories thing, I think it’s common sometimes to remember that it happened but think of it as not a big deal or feel no emotional response from it until you actually try to bypass the barriers and actually process the trauma
Yep… Had this happen today, then the floodgates opened unexpectedly while processing a traumatic memory in therapy.
I love this episode. I was professionally diagnosed with ptsd earlier this year and ppl tend to assume ive been SA'd or abused physically but instead i was just raised by an emotionally manipulative mother and bullied severally growing up. A lot of ppl dont believe when i say i have ptsd bc i look fine but rlly ive been forced to mask my feelings at a young age, things are different behind closed doors and when im alone. Trauma can come from anything, not everyone sees the same thing as traumatic.
I actually cried at shaylena's story. I now think that I might be a SA victim. I was molested by my male friend since kindergarten, but since we were both kids, I didn't think it counts as SA. He was one year older than me and we would be in the same group in kindergarten. He would make me touch him and said that "all boyfriends and girlfriends do this". He would touch me as well. The abuse ended when I was 11, because I moved out the city and we "broke up". I kinda pushed those memories away, I guess it was my way to cope with it. I also sticked with a though that we are both kids, so he didnt know what he was doing, etc. We would meet from time to time, because our families are good friends. He wouldn't do nor say anything. We would chat as good friends. My breaking point was when, around 15, we were both alone in his room and he started making sexual jokes. That made me highly unconfortable and I told him so, but then he slid his hand under my shirt and started touching my belly. I was horrified, scared, my brain just went numb. Since then I started to think that maybe he knew what he was doing. It also triggered my memories. The situation went on a 2-3 more times until I decided to leave house everytime they visited. The guy also stopped to come. So, I guess, I feel safer now. But I still don't know if it counts as AS. I'm confused and in denial. But this video made me somehow validated and at ease, so I would like to thank Anthony, the crew and guests for it. And if someone is reading this, sorry for making it so long. I just had to get some things off my chest.
No, don’t be sorry for writing. I’m so glad that it stopped and it’s sad that you were ever put in this position. I pray that you heal and realize that you were the victim and it’s not your fault. Sending love 💕
It definitely counts as SA, no matter how old you both were. You didn’t give consent so he had absolutely no right to touch you. I hope you realize that none of this is your fault, wish you all the best❤️
it's not your fault at all. I hope you are able to go to therapy or some kind of support group, talk to someone you trust and heal.
i’m so sorry that happened to you, that sounds really traumatic and you didn’t deserve that to happen to you, thank you for sharing your story i hope you’re able to reach out to a professional and heal from that experience, you seem like a lovely person and deserve to heal
It wasn' t your fault, I hope you find comfort in therapy or with close friends 💙
I have PTSD from a car accident when I was 12 and I watched the grill of the car come right at me. I was always afraid to call it PTSD because I felt my response wasn't valid because no one died, we weren't trapped for hours, etc. but that doesn't change the fact that I'm now 23, still petrified of even the idea of driving and regularly have full blown panic attacks when in the car. It was my husband that made me feel valid in calling it PTSD. I hope to one day overcome my trauma.
I had a similar incident happen to me I was terrified of driving due to the car crash. I’m 33 I just started to drive a year again only streets not freeway yet. But there is hope. I hope one day you can over come your fear too.
PTSD can be from anything. I have car driving PTSD too along with other trauma. I'm glad you are working through it.
girl me too!!! im still scared to sit in cars and whenever the car im sitting gets just a tiny bit close to another car i immediately get flashbacks. i broke my nose in the accident i was in and it took almost 3 or 4 weeks for my nose to completely heal. you're so strong. and i hope one day i overcome my trauma as well :)
I had truama from a dream i had- which i actually felt while asleep. Even though its in my sleep i felt it. And it felt so strange... that.. anytime. I get it a car- or even drive close to something big enough like a truck or a bus. It gives me huge anxiety and to start panicking and hyperventilating.. (which if you get to that point either try to remain calm or have someone else you fully trust to drive you) i got ptsd already from. Like. Being s/a ed by a friend when i was 14. So i thought like. This dream i had- wasnt ptsd enduced. But thats because i already got ptsd. Why have it froms something that didnt actually happen. Its very scary how our brains really impact us. Emotionally and mentally.
ive had something like this happen to me no one was injured but a big bus almost hit me the front of the bus touched the back of my leg and now anytime I'm by where it happened i get memories of what happened most of the time but have no idea if its a mild form of ptsd or just normal
21:20: When she said "You're never gonna walk into a counselor's office and have the counselor tell you 'Oh no, you're not broken enough.' That's never going to happen." Sadly, she is wrong. That absolutely happens and has happened to me multiple times. People with complicated diagnosis' are OFTEN rejected because they are too broken, and other times, even the best therapists will think you improved enough to stop before you are ready, and then you spiral... And even the example she gives of being told you're not broken enough when you walk in... Therapists will ask how they can help. And if you aren't ready to open up and be honest, they can't help. Therapy isn't perfect and we need to stop perpetuating the idea that, once you go to therapy, everything gets better. I struggled for nearly 20 years to find a therapist that worked for me, and even then, most of what has helped me was doing my own reading and research, advocating for what I believe I needed. Empowering yourself to take control of your mental health is the most incredible thing you can do. I have been given 10 different mental health diagnosises in my life, including both CPTSD and PTSD. And most of getting over it included watching videos like this! Therapy is immeasurably helpful, don't get me wrong. But if you're not ready to help yourself, educate yourself, and listen to people who have survived, it will be a difficult road. So congratulations for even being here to listen to this. If you are struggling, you're already taking the first step to understanding you are not alone ❤
My Grandma is writing a book and she told me how she experienced something absolutely terrible when she was a child. She was at this place where different people lived above her and she was just exploring. She accidentally walked in on a group of people who then proceeded to do very bad things to her. She went into foster homes and when she told her foster parents about her fear of something like that happening again they got scared of her and sent her to a different home. My heart goes out to people in situations like this. ❤️
Sexual assault is horrendous no matter who it is, sexual assault from a family member a travesty, losing trust all around. Sexual assault from a parent or sibling… wow it can’t get worse than that truly. My heart goes out to all the victims of any sexual crime.
Yeah it’s really sucky. Having it come from someone who you’re innately supposed to trust is.. very difficult. It makes trust in anything or anyone else pretty much impossible for a long time. How could you ever expect anyone to be reliable and trustworthy when all the major people in your life from the very beginning have never been that way. When all you’ve ever known is that letting go of control and vigilance over your situation will have dire consequences. Bottom line is, it’s totally not rad ( ´_ゝ`) but I guess that’s just how it goes, life gives you shitty cards and you have to sink or swim.
I don’t have PTSD but when she talked about how routine is so important and how covid has impacted so many people in that way, I felt it. I’m autistic and my routine is so important. Covid threw off everything and it was hard to get a new routine going.
That part hit me too, I started crying out of the realization. I'm autistic too. I hope we can heal from how covid impacted us in that way
@@Oliver-bq4pp hopefully things are better for you now. It took so long for me to get back to a routine and schedule that worked for me. Sending good vibes to you!
Also autistic. The initial loneliness threw me in for worsened depression symptoms.
I'm not autistic, But I hope you get new routines going and find ways to get yourself going too!:D
Not autistic, but I also experienced this. Can't imagine how it was for you.. hope you guys are all doing better ❤
Mannnnn…this just confirmed some stuff for me. I was telling my family that I thought I had ptsd from a bad car wreck that I was in and they shrugged it off. My grandpa was in Vietnam and ofc he had to tell me “you know nothing about ptsd”. Anytime I see break lights in front of me my heart races and I get nauseous. Sometimes an “ahhh” comes out of my mouth. It’s crazy how your body responds to things even though you try to fight it.
Hi, i was in a car accident and had (and still have but less) lots of stress around roads. I went to a therapist for EMDR therapy for a few sessions and it really helped. Just saw the comment was a year ago but I hope you had the chance to heal
His dad telling him to just forget about is soo shocking! How can they be so unempathic? Reminds me of my parents playing down the abuse they did to me.
When I hear Kenny, I can't help to notice the impacts of toxic masculinity and how he started healing after realizing that himself. Kenny, your story is really inspiring. I hope you keep getting ahead on the path of healing.
First time I've ever seen someone use toxic masculinity properly in the comments! Great job. All to often it's used to demonize men for being men. But saying "you're a man, just get over it" is a perfect example of toxic masculinity.
Hearing Kenny talk about how he helps deal with his trauma using comics nearly made me cry. I've been using Batman family comics to help me cope for years, and having people tell me how unnatural and stupid it was. Hearing someone else do the same thing felt so validating
I mean everybody copes in different ways, wether it's comics or tv shows, as long as it's helping you it's fine
You are valid, keep doing what you love
I remember I would make characters and stories based off things that happened to me to cope. Even if it wasn't traumatic, if I got dumped by my girlfriend, I would still draw and write and listen to music in order to feel better about it. Art is truly a powerful thing.
Dude!!! Me too! Batman has been my hero since before my abuse, he made it feel like he was now watching over me and it wouldnt happen again right? 🦇
I can't tell you how much I jumped when Anthony mentioned the auto-immune disease, Henoch-Schonlein Purpura (HSP) he had when he was young. As a person who suffered the exact disease at age 12, I had no idea there were many others who felt the way I did, being unable to do anything, being in pain for months, feeling like a burden. Thank you Anthony, its good to know I'm not alone.
I heavily relate to Shaylena, from the trauma, to the reaction to men and being clinging when in relationships. It makes me happy knowing I’m not the only person who gets uneasy around men, it’s been something I’ve held guilt for. And the preserving of your younger self as a whole different person is alarmingly common
I love how Anthony is just listening and not interrupting the people talking. Tbh he’s the nicest youtuber, he just listens and lets other talk about their problems. In the end he doesn’t compare his troubles or even say “oh same” or “cool” he gives a good response. I bet he’s a good friend. :(
Agreed👍
Well Karl (Karl Jacobs) said he’s one of the nicest people he know so he’s most likely a great friend and person :)
@@Gracieewaciee ohh thank you!!
@Cactuss there’s multiple youtubers and fans that have met Anthony and said he’s one of the nicest people they’ve met so I think he’s actually a good guy
He’s basically who Shane Dawson tries to be
I’m so happy you got people with CPTSD and talked to people other than just veterans. I was recently diagnosed with CPTSD and it took me so long to realize that what I went through was traumatic bc it didn’t fit the typical mold of what is thought to cause PTSD and I didn’t have the intense visual flashbacks that are usually used to portray as PTSD. I thought I was too sensitive or overreacting for no reason but I was having emotional flashbacks multiple times a day for YEARS. If anyone happens to read this and is struggling, please go to a TRAUMA INFORMED therapist if you have the option. Trauma changes everything when it comes to treatment and having a therapist that understood how to help me changed my life
If you don’t mind me asking, how do you go about finding one? I’m on my own with everything at this point and I have no idea where to even begin, trauma therapy wise.
@@ttylxoxo1929 my therapist is also a firefighter, so he gets it. Tbf I was lucky to find him but its worth finding out about your therapist, what previous life experience they have etc
@@ttylxoxo1929 go on psychology today and you can filter by therapists who specialize in trauma and who take your insurance
What’s an emotional flashback like. I think I’ve had that
Would you say you recovered?
Straight up this is one of my favorite channels on youtube. Brings awareness to subjects that aren't talked about or are taboo. This channel deserves an award.
autumn definitely seems like a very educated and intelligent person. it was really brave of them to come on here, trauma is something that is very hard to talk about and i think she handled it especially well
A common theme with PTSD is that you had to become your own parent, because of neglect or loneliness, unfortunately it all kick-starts when one traumatic experience happens to the child, and not any amount foundations and charity can help, you can't buy attention
@@curtisvenom32 I am so so sorry that happened. There are many good people out there who will love you for who you are and if you need to talk I am right here
@@curtisvenom32 so sorry that happened to you. I hope one day if you need it, you can seek therapy, Ive heard it helps a lot. I hope you find your happiness and love in your life.
@@curtisvenom32honestly I agree, I am not someone with PTSD however I do know a therapist so I asked them about it, and they said that for the first few sessions it feels like it doesn't go away at all, if not gets worse, but after 3 or 4 sessions it gets much better, and they said that it was always recommend, although I have to take it with a pinch of salt because they are a therapist themselves (sorry I'm late I didn't see the notification)
@@curtisvenom32 Thank you and I agree, it seems like you are capable of dealing with it for the most part. However I have to ask, do you hope to overcome it, or forget it and let it fade away, just curious
@@curtisvenom32 no no it's fine and thank you
Somehow I knew Kenneth was a teacher before he even said he was. He just radiates that good teacher energy of being smart, caring, and well-spoken. As an education major in college, that is what I aspire to be!
"Wanted to feel like loneliness is my choice" "Trying to make myself perfect." "looking at HER pictures" This hits so hard. I did not think I could relate to anything in this video, even though I have been through a lot of trauma as a child and developed many unhealthy coping mechanisms.
*TW* I really love that she hasn’t had an experience where a therapist has turned her down for not being “broken enough” but that has happened to me before. I have been turned down help bc I didn’t hurt myself deep enough. It definitely happens
I’m so sorry that happened to you! I’ve definitely had bad therapists who I’ve had to stop seeing cause they made things worse - shopping around for therapists is hard to do when you’re in a trauma space, but is so important to find good care!
yep i had a similar experience where my therapist stopped seeing me because she couldn't figure out what the cause of my anxiety was and "it doesn't seem to bad"
This is honestly my biggest fear regarding therapy and the reason I’ve never tried it. I’d hate to open up about all my struggles and then being dismissed as not “broken enough”.
but what if its true? they can’t be treating just everybody
@@cherylahx127so I asked my counselor about it this morning and she mentioned that in principle, denying someone care/diminishing their experiences goes against the core of being a counselor. She might disagree with one diagnosis in favor of another, but a good counselor would never minimize someone’s pain.
I literally almost cried at the end when the guy was like his dad said to forget about it and move on. People truly don't get it and when people dissmiss stuff like this it hurts so much, I have to deal with CPTSD myself and traumatic flashbacks to certain events..having to deal with that on a daily - basis and told to move on hurts a lot
Same… My dad called my brother’s sexual abuse childhood curiosity (without knowing the details), and also said “That was so long ago…”
@@Elya08 similar thing happened to me. When I finally told my mom about my sister sexually abusing me as a child, she hit me with the “well, kids get curious you know.. are you sure blah blah blah.” And I was like.. so shocked and bitter that I started crying, and I’m not usually a crier. And then she tried to press me for details so I could somehow confirm that what happened was abuse. And I just shut the door in her face and told her never to bring it up to me again.
@@alice-8566 Yuck… I’m really sorry that happened to you. It’s never okay when a parent dismisses their child, especially over sexual abuse issues.
Thanks for covering this. One of the things that I’ve noticed about my CPTSD is that it’s getting worse as I get older. I have had a hard time finding a therapist I can afford. I go through waves of intensity. At the moment I’ve become agoraphobic. I sit on the floor in my bathroom for hours a day. It takes so much work to be around people and I get incredibly embarrassed when I shake and forget simple words. I’ve been able to hold a job, it’s my social time.
As someone that is diagnosed with CPTSD I’m so thankful for this video. I feel seen
Well done to Anthony for keeping up with topics people don’t talk enough about. Learning how to understand what someone is going through, that you can’t understand without being educated on is very important.
Love how respectful Anthony is
his mother raised him very well
Same that man was written ,published and produced by women
@@Gracieewaciee period
@@soya9152 just bc people are great doesn't mean that the parents were, I don't get this saying
Me too, he's such a sweetheart.
Autumn seems so wonderful. When she was listening to Anthony, she was actually listening
i find it so so sweet that anthony is doing everything in his power to make these people comfortable while also spreading information about these topics. he makes sure to get everyone on the spectrum,, sibling sexual assault,, sexual assault in men,, family issues,, abandonment issues,, abuse,, etc.. he even made sure to put their pronouns in their little intros. what a good person
I can understand Autumn so well, though our complex trauma is different: I am a survivor of a narcissistic mother and ill family system. But the idea of not feeling yourself, thinking that nobody will help you ever, you don't care, etc... It's super similar.
*you're the survivor of an ABUSIVE mother
@@theemptypeanutsystem8431 a survivor as I want to see myself, thank you
@@ivinae dont be ableist while describing your trauma. Was your mom diagnosed with NPD? probably not and even if she was, narcissistic does not equal abusive. Abusive does not equal narcissistic. Sure someone can be both, but to call abuse narcissism is stigmatizing, untrue, and ableism. -another abuse survivor
@@theemptypeanutsystem8431 Yes, my mother is diagnosed, and also of schizoid personality disorder. I would say that hitting, threatening and insulting your kids for your whole life is abusive behaviour, maybe in your home that's normal. Those who defend abusers so lightly only can be another abuser (angry after being described and revealed) or a hypocrite who wants to feel like a saint for doing "what anybody else does". Good luck, both are terrible
@@ivinae I always found myself in between people who said my mother is abusive and crazy for doing those things, and that I should get away, and people who say it's normal, or that it's bad but I should just suck it up bc she's my mother, so it's been a weird time. She herself has admitted that she knows she's f*cked up, but she doesn't seen to be able stop or change, specially when my dad keeps enabling and justifying her. I have commented on my experiences regarding the topic handled in the video, but in the end it isn't the stupid perv who keeps me up at night crying of anger, fear, or hopelesness, or made me wish I just wasn't in this world for as long as I can remember, or made me feel trapped and like I was going insane. It always comes back to her.
I'm so proud of Kenneth. My dad had so much trauma and he never worked to be better for his kids, and it messed me up. Kenneth putting in the work to give his daughters a better life is so important.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD, started therapy in april of 2021 and last thursday, my therapist announced to me that we will probably come to an end in therapy soon. 8 more sessions and we're done.😌
This is so incredibly comforting as someone who was sexually abused by a sibling. I have seriously never heard of anyone else with a similar story til now, and it’s amazing to know (though obviously unfortunate) that i’m not alone in that. So glad this was made.
My trauma made me hypersexual even before puberty so I never thought I had ptsd, but I also struggled with Eating Disorders and my body being too feminine and feeling horrible about how I look and I realised that it was all connected. It comes out in different ways for different people
If you don’t mind me asking what caused your trauma
@@thegameplace3748 Being groomed and assaulted sexually most my childhood. Also lots of DV stuff from my father. Honestly remember thinking it was strange how I was only allowed to watch G and PG rated shows when my life was R rated
@@AzuraFallen DV?
@@thegameplace3748 domestic violence
Channelling all the strength and happiness in the world to you~
I love that Anthony is also willing to open up to his guests (and his audience) about similar things he's experienced, without ever making it seem like he's trying to one-up them or making it about him.
I remember the first repressed memory I ever had lol I shot up in bed from my sleeping position and just like gasped like "wait a minute". I had just gotten into bed and just laid down when all of a sudden the memory hit me like a brick wall and I was like "how did I make myself forget about that? I was so upset when it happened and I remember every single tiny detail...why did I not think of this often?" etc etc. It's just like memories your brain pushed to the background so that you don't have to deal with them.
You should do one on survivors of narcissistic abuse. There are still so many people unaware that they are in narcissistic relationships and it can honestly save lives
I could be wrong here, but it's my experience that most people don't actually know what PTSD is. PTSD is rarely diagnosed if it hasn't negatively affected your life for more than six months. In those cases it is not yet considered a disorder. You have still been traumatised, it is still having an impact on your life, but either it "wasn't that bad" (obviously /all/ trauma is bad) or you are an incredibly resilient person. Also the way it is portrayed through mainstream media is dangerously misleading. You're traumatised? You must get violent when you have a flashback. You have PTSD? So are you going to kys, become an addict, a homeless person....? When my trauma response is triggered my first reaction is to try and escape that situation. Whether I can or I can't, either way I have a panic attack and cry hysterically, sometimes for over an hour. I can't stop it, because I was never allowed to cry during my trauma, or even after it. I'm not allowed to bring it up with family, not allowed to let my abuser know what they did and how it has affected me - this one because, and here I quote, "she didn't mean it". Minimisation, invalidation and gaslighting can be just as traumatising as the original event/s. My trauma started more than 25 years ago, and like many people I was traumatised by many people in many contexts, and I had nobody around me who could recognise what was going on. I've had 6 years of therapy and my PTSD is still at the point where all it takes is a few bad days where I feel completely out of control and helpless for the s/cidal thoughts to come back. I honestly believe that if someone had noticed and if I had been given the right help early enough that I wouldn't have PTSD now. I would still have trauma responses sure, but not full PTSD.
This.
Sometimes it is hard for other people to notice, my trauma happened in early childhood and no one knew about it until i said something when I was 15, to protect myself and survive I had to do as if nothing happened, that’s what I thought and what I did. My mom blamed herself for not seeing anything and I had to tell her that it wasn’t her fault because I was the one who hid everything from everyone until I was at my breaking point. Your brain just becomes so good at masking your feelings to protect yourself that it often becomes impossible for others to notice unless you talk about it.
I’ve always wondered if a horrible dentist appointment could be considered trauma. It sounds stupid but it was a horrible time full of pain and fear and it’s happened twice. I never wanted to self diagnose so I just thought “it isn’t bad enough for PTSD” but now I’m wondering about it. A lot of the flashback symptoms that they describe are similar to how I react passing a dentist office or being in one. I start shaking uncontrollably and sometimes I cry cause I wanna leave and the memories are just in my mind the entire time. But I have been diagnosed with anxiety so idk if it’s just anxiety or if that was really trauma that has affected me.
@@not_gabi6508, medical trauma is a thing. One person, I can think of as a good example is Jessica Kelgren, she may have a video on it. IDK if it's PTSD, I've never been formally diagnosed with it myself, nor really met anyone who has been open of it. But, it does sound like you have some trauma if you act like that. Lol, can very much relate to the shaking and feeling of just wanting to cry and escape.
@@not_gabi6508 that does sound like you experienced something traumatic and you are displaying a trauma response to that. It could be PTSD. It could also be a phobia of the dentist, especially if you have heightened anxiety. I am not a professional at all, you should seek help from a licensed psychologist. But no matter what the diagnosis might be, I’m sorry you have gone through that and that it effects your life so much still. Living in fear is a horrible thing. I hope it gets better!
Oh gosh I hate when people joke about having PTSD is so uncomfortable and it makes me sad, like they actually think is a joke? And if someone knows about PTSD, is a constant fight or flight mode, so sometimes is hard for me to process the conflicts cause I feel like either everyone is attacking me or I don't see the abuse cause I'm blind with the meaning the relationships have for me. So sad I didn't got choose to do this vid but at the same time happy that is been talked about and that the people you showed have kind of like the same trauma I have, is actually crazy to know there is more people that have been abuse by their sibling, it blow my mind away since I have never met anyone with this type of abuse happening to them. I'm glad they are ok enough to talk about. Thanks for putting this out there for everyone to see and in the most wonderful way as always.
I agree about people joking about PTSD. I usually see people saying this in the context of something embarrassing or something that they look back on with less positivity than they experienced in the moment. For example, I am a person of faith and I used to go on trips with my church to this thing called Kingdom Bound, a Christian festival at Darien Lake amusement park. We were all high school students that went, and we did very cringy things. I have often heard other people that went on these trips say “oh my gosh, don’t show me that photo (of the trip), it gives me PTSD” or “ew, this song gives me flashbacks to Kingdom Bound”. In this context, it is clear to tell that these people are joking, don’t have a clear understanding of what PTSD is really like, and as someone who actually struggles with PTSD as well as flashbacks, I do find it insensitive and offensive. Now, that is not to minimize anyone else’s experiences with trauma. Trauma happens in many forms and intensities. But trauma DOES NOT EQUAL PTSD. I’ll say it again for the folks in the back, trauma does not equal PTSD. I agree with the person in this video that said we don’t need to compare traumas and we don’t need to compete for who has had the most miserable life. I actually hate that so much. However, people shouldn’t be saying they have PTSD as a joke, or as a way of saying they have a negative association with something. It’s just not the same thing. Even if something is traumatic to someone, that isn’t the same thing as PTSD and I wish the video discussed that more. The way I see it, this is the same thing as someone saying they have OCD just because they are very neat or a perfectionist. Their experience of being particular and feeling the need to make everything just right is still valid, it just isn’t the same thing as OCD. It’s simply incorrect. And it is offensive to people who actually go through the unique set of hardships that go along with OCD. The same is true when applying the same scenario in a conversation about PTSD. We can have empathy for each other’s situations while still understanding that there is a difference between them.
Thank you for saying this! I struggle with wording my feelings but this is it. I sometimes will be in the car with a friend and go “sorry for having to reschedule so much I had a sorta bad trauma relapse the other day” and her dad, multiple times is like “oh we know about trauma *friends younger brother* is gonna have PTSD from *friend* yelling at him” and once I said “sorry everything’s been a lot, I went to the mental hospital yesterday so I’m exhausted” and he went “why” and when I explained he said “that’s not that bad, you would’ve been fine” Her dad is also someone who says the R slur aloe and got mad when I said it was a slur just like the n word so he shouldn’t say it, even behind closed doors
God*
How do you make a joke about that
Yeah it happens to more disorders too, like OCD and ADHD for example It downplays the struggles people go through and I hope you're doing okay
“You’re not broken enough, I don’t need to see you” literally happened to me, so yes, it unfortunately does happen
I'm so sorry, I genuinely hope this was a one-time thing and you found someone that would take your struggles seriously and who you could trust. Suffering is not a competition. No matter what anyone has beeh through, we're all allowed to feel like shit. And we all deserve happiness. And there is no shame in admitting that maybe you might need a little help on your way to get there. But please don't let assholes like this be a major hurdle. You deserve to heal and you deserve to be happy.
Hey Anthony! I'm Taylor, 21 from Sydney Australia and have absolutely loved watching your series. I noticed you haven't interviewed people who have Trichotillomania yet, 'trich' is a hair pulling disorder (it falls under the umbrella of body repetitive focused behaviors that are often linked to anxiety or depression) I started pulling my eyelashes out at just 6 years old due to stress and high anxiety, and have struggled through to my adulthood on different areas of my body (including my head and eyebrows) leaving me with patchy bald spots and no facial hair. Trichotillomania is a disorder that is under-represented in the media and people who have it are often deemed "crazy", in fact anyone who I have ever told in my personal life has never heard of it before. I didn't even understand my own disorder from the ages of 6 - 10 until my best friend at the time researched my symptoms online and SHE told me what it was. I was officially diagnosed at 12 years old, have seen many doctors/therapists and even a trich specialist (there is only 1 trich specialist in Sydney to give you an idea lol) and the only real "cure" is habit reversal training and cognitive behavioural therapy. As it is such an unknown disorder I believe bringing awareness to it on your show will help LOTS of people.
I second this. I also have Trich, it is an ongoing struggle for me and often feels extremely isolating.
I have tricotillomania and I was just thinking about this before seeing your comment!!
As someone with PTSD the biggest misconception I’m faced with all the time is that when it comes to PTSD from abuse. People usually only think you can get PTSD from physical abuse when really emotional and mental abuse can also give you PTSD. It shocks me now that Im diagnosed just how many people in my life doubted me when I brought up the concerns I had about possibly having PTSD solely because what I went through wasn’t physical.
i did multiple papers for school on the link between ptsd and chronic pain and it's a lot more connected than people realize. as someone who has ptsd and fibromyalgia it helped me figure out that i need to take care of my brain FOR my body and vice versa
I have ptsd, and many mental illnesses, so knowing people are like me really helps❤️
I got diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood trauma and some abuse. It sucks so much. It got really bad when I moved in with my boyfriend. My work was stupid stressful and by getting away from my main trigger my work environment got even worse and someone repeatedly triggered my PTSD. I finally wen to therapy and after 6 or so sessions within less than a month I was told I either had to quit the job or admit myself into a hospital. Absolutely sucked because I worked so hard to get were I was but the people were so toxic. I quit and it was the best think I think I’ve ever done. My boyfriend soon to be husband is so understanding and supportive and I never have had that especially since my family is the source of my trauma and they laugh and tell me repeatedly I’m faking. I’ve had to cut family off so I could get myself to a better place.
i'm so glad to see someone who didnt have a single, clearly defined traumatic EVENT happen to them. just like autumn, my trauma was like a frog sitting in a slowly boiling pot. my mom neglected me, made me feel like a burden, made it clear that i didnt matter to her and she would rather not have to care for me - all while i was under 15 yrs. then as i grew into a young adult she started to resent me even more and became violent and made me feel like i needed to leave or get a job to support her all while not having the support a normal teen should have when entering their first job which should be for FUN/saving toward a car or other personal item. i wasnt taught how to get a job or drive or apply to college or any of the life skills you need when entering adulthood and instead when i turned 18 the cord was cut on me emotionally, physically, and financially as if they threw me into a pool without teaching me how to swim and ON TOP OF THAT my mom my got a shitty bf and brought him, a formerly incarcerated man who we had no idea what he was in prison for, into our home (roach-infested motel room) and he drugged her and started sex trafficking her from our front room. i had to take care of my then 11 yr old brother, feeding him, making sure he had clean clothes for school, while navigating my first year of college virtually ALONE. i'm lucky her shitty bf didnt target me as well. I was staying up until 3am guarding my brother while he slept and my mom was raped in the room next to us on a nightly basis. i would fall asleep with the pillow over my ears to try to drown out the sound of the men's bodies slapping against my mom. then waking up at 6am to take public transit for 2 hrs to get to school. and i think the reason this all affected me so poorly where i didnt feel empowered to get a job or move out. is because I was so sheltered as a child before HS that I didnt understand fully what was happening (i didnt know he was bringing men in to have sex with her. i thought he was just railing her every night) my mom has been depressed for my entire life but she had bouts during my childhood where she was extremely attentive and loving and then BOOM depressive episode where she would ignore me, not get me ready/take me to school. i would just try to survive during those depressive episodes hoping she would snap out of it and act normal again. but i never fully understood what was going on, i just felt desperately reliant on her only for everything to result in her hating and ignoring me for good once i became a teenager. i have diagnosed PTSD but i never hear of people's stories like mine where the trauma was slowly happening over the course of your life then a giant traumatic event happens where you dont feel at all prepared to cope afterward because of neglect and emotional ineptness.
I hope you find healing in therapy of close friends, thank you for sharing 💙
This is heartbreaking. You're so strong for getting threw this and I really hope everything turns out okay. Have you tried calling a hotline?
I can really relate to your experience. I also had a narcissistic mom like that and she didn’t teach me any of those things either. I had to get my grandma to teach me to drive, and I figured out how to get my first job on my own (I had to walk there and back sometimes in the dark. I’m still so thankful I never got assaulted) and I eventually put myself through college without any help from her. She also cut me off completely when I made it clear I couldn’t just become a genie and give her money to support her, she completely abandoned me emotionally too. I tried to stay in contact as a daughter but she was so toxic. She really believed it was my job to care for her as soon as I became an adult, even though I could barely care for myself since I had no help from her. I haven’t heard from her in years because the last time I tried reaching out and calling her on Mother’s Day she cruelly said, “Well it’s my day and I don’t want to talk to you.” I have no idea what I did to deserve that kind of treatment. My father was no better since he abandoned me and my sisters when we were all young and haven’t spoken to him in years either. Needless to say, I’ve been diagnosed with C-PTSD. Anyway I just wanted you to know you’re not alone, and I hope you’re in a better place now. 💗💗💗
Always loved getting a cold, because I had "an excuse" to rest. Learning to understand my body now, and giving myself permission to rest before I get sick
Literally me right now 😅
YES omg I did the same thing when I was a teen, before I understood my trauma. Also, that would mean that everyone would be at work/school which made me feel safer.
As someone with PTSD this video is very bittersweet I’m glad I’m not alone in having this mental illness but I feel terrible that we’ve suffered awful things! You were all very brave to speak up and I hope everyone heals 🥺💕
I’m so glad you finally made a video on this! It’s amazing to hear other people’s stories and knowing other people know what you’re going through.. amazing.
it would be nice if you could interview trans people in the future. as a transmasculine person myself i think it would be very beneficial to hear other peoples stories, especially for people who may be questioning their genders. thank you for doing what you do and raising awareness of these sorts of things, it’s very informative and validating for many
Agreed because it’d be nice to hear stories from other trans people
I'm so glad someone commented this I was going to but decided not to but I've been commenting under the replies section for a while because my cousin is trans and I really want to learn more to help her
As another transmasc, I agree
I read this as “trans people from the future” and was thinking wow y’all think Anthony has access to everything
I would love to know if anyone else has dealt with this sentence “I love and accept you but you’ll always be (insert deadname here) to me” because whenever I hear that the conversation I’m having makes me feel so annoyed and uncomfortable but I force a smile on my face because I don’t know what else to do
Shaylena and Kenneth's stories were so important to hear, thank you so much for talking with them. Incest is so often made a joke or not talked about, people don't tend to realize how real and incredibly traumatic it is.
His eyes when he heard the first story just broke my heart expesualy when I heard her finish and the others just. I cant. I'm so happy he did this its even worse when you can relate to it.
This makes my PTSD feel heard. It’s leaked into my adult year and I know it’ll never go away. I’ve found coping mechanisms. Thank you Anthony
I'm actually really relieved, to hear someone saying out loud that they're been abused by a family member, and breaking the stigma around it. I was sexually abused by my mother for around 10 years, and I still feel so much shame, and I'm absolutely terrified that others are gonna judge me (or just brush it off in general, which already hapened each time). I also don't know how to feel concerning about her, since I kinda dissociated her as "someone who would scare me" (even if I didn't quite understand why when I was younger), mixed with the image of a caring mom, and I'm absolutely terrified that I won't be believed again if I say what happened, mixed with the fact that.. While I'm literally seeing a therapist, I absolutely can't talk about what hapened because I'm somehow terrified my mom would get arrested or something, despite what happened (I'm 16, and waiting to be 18 yo since at that moment, then the law won't really considere me as "someone in danger") and the fact that no matter what, I just can't seem to forget it (I absolutely can't let anyone touch me (and in general, I either don't really trust others, or become really distant thinking absolutely everyone know, and that everyone hates me no matter the reason (like, someone being kind to me ? Nah, can't be real), my ocd (I've been diagnosed) with hands washing got worse etc., and I constantly feel like I'm back there). That's really ambivalent, which quite adds to the shame. Anyway, I'm sorry I got carried away, but.. I'm really really glad I saw people actually talking about it, it helps a bit hahah
I feel really sorry for you, what happened to you is rough. But your care for your mother is still a beautiful thing, even if you know she did something horrible, you don't want her to pay consequences for it. I don't want to push you to do anything, as I think I probably wouldn't be able to myself, but maybe you should try to talk about this directly with your mom. Normally you would expect the person that have done the horrible thing to talk about it with the victim but sometimes the guilt on their side is as big (if not bigger, they did something terrible after all while you didn't do anything wrong, you even did quite the opposite actually) as yours. So maybe, if you don't want to talk about it with your therapist which is understandable considering the risk, you should talk with the person concerned. I've never actually told this anyone in my life, but I sa my cousin (which was at the time one year younger than me) when I was about 13. It wasn't like some extreme stuff, I just kissed her in her sleep and gave her a few caresses on her arms and legs, but after some time went by, I started feeling really bad about it. (Kinda like what Kenneth said) I've gone through depression and my cousin is going through it too. I feel like part of mine was because I hated myself for what I did, and I feel like I'm responsible for part of hers. I still haven't talked with her about it. I certainly lack the courage but it's also because I fear to bring her back something she hated while she is the most down in her life. I fear that I remind her of it, while she may have been sleeping through it all, and she feels even worse because of that. I fear that it will ruin the relation between my parents and hers that loves each other so much. It's pretty horrible because maybe we're both waiting for it and she is feeling even worse as time goes on, building that stress of not talking about it to anyone because she also fears to break things. I don't want to make myself look like a victim for what I did since I'm the one at fault, but since then I've had real difficulties to even talk with girls. Most of my relatioships were ruined because of it. Sometimes, I found myself shaking for no reason in fear of being judged, even now after therapy. I know I did something terrible and, trust me, I hate myself for it but I was only 13, kinda lonely and a bit nihilistic. So you know, I'm probably on the opposite spectrum of what you lived, and I feel like what would really help me to talk about it all with her is that I have a clear indication that she is open to talking with me. Anyways, if you wanna talk, here's my Twitter : @Winter_Beast2 just send me messages on how your situation is going and I'll try my best to help in any possible way I can.
Please ignore the other insensitive and selfish reply someone sent. I am glad you were able to relate to their stories in the video, it's nice knowing you are never alone. I can't imagine how hard it must feel to be brushed off when explaining your trauma to someone, just know no one's reaction determines how valid it is. You mentioned that your image of your mom is skewed up with this "caring mom" and "abuser." Here's something that may help. Abusers don't always keep up one facade, to some they are a caring neighbor, a good worker, etc. It makes it so much harder to understand because you would think they act like this to everyone, right? However, abusers care a lot about how others perceive them so they want to be seen as good. It may be hard thinking about reporting her because you feel like you in a way betrayed her, but it's the complete opposite. If you want to seek justice for yourself a different way by moving out and living free from there I get that! Now I can't tell you whether or not legal action would be taken, but chances are if you told your therapist they are legally required to tell someone. Again this could depend on where you live so don't quote me on this. Perhaps you could anonymously send a report? Whatever road you pick I wish you the best.
@@Hi-ys4mc That's not cool. I just wanted to give him some insight on how his mother may be feeling and how to fix their relationship. I didn't ask anything in return either, I just wanted to help. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt his mother the way she hurted him, which is understandable. And sorry if I sound selfish for it but I'm also an human being and that really hurted me. It's the first time I'm talking about it to someone else and that's the first reaction I get.
@@Hi-ys4mc And before immediatly asking him/her to throw his/her mom away, I think a good talk is probably way better. You've got to understand why she did that or you could live with the question in your mind for your whole life. Of course if she fakes the fact that she don't remember, doesn't care or anything like that, then you should do what's necessary and Hi advice is good, but it's still your mom, the person who raised you and certainly loved you. (Tell me if I'm wrong) So talking first seems to be for the better in my opinion. Personally that's what I wish I'll be able to do with my cousin.
@@winterbeast6326 Well it's selfish to talk about how you sexually assaulted someone under the comment of someone pouring their heart out about being sexually abused by their mom. Time and place dude. Especially since you are gaslighting them into thinking their mom "loves" them. No one who loves a child would inflict that pain on them, when you love someone you care about them.
11:48 does hold true. My dad is very adamant on locking the doors, closing the blinds and making sure nothing of value can be seen in case of theft. He lived in the LA area and we now live in a crappy Southern Oregon town. Theft is possible so I get very stressed if I don’t know if the front door is locked when I go to bed. I double check it and hearing my door thud from air pressure will also stress me out at night. I’m also very adamant on avoiding illness like my dad. When the swine flu was going around, I was very nervous about it as a 10 year old. I’m also very nervous about COVID even though I’m vaccinated. It sucks because I’m stressed very often and I think I might have an anxiety disorder. If my dad viewed things differently, I could have probably been more levelheaded with situations like this.
Reminder that you can get PTSD from ANY kind of abuse. Not just physical or seggsual. I personally developed PTSD from mental abuse. I was severely seggsually harassed by a close friend for two years. PTSD comes in many different shapes and sizes :)
i related to anthony's autoimmune disease story a ton, part of the reason i developed anorexia was to have my mental health acknowledged. if my family saw my physical health deteriorating, then that could potentially mean they'd start paying attention to my mental problems for once. it was a cry for help in a sense. the neuroses manifesting physically almost