Dealing with Loss, Failure and Learning to Meditate ft. Archit Dhoopar (AIR 424, CSE'22)
2024 ж. 19 Мам.
38 998 Рет қаралды
My other youtube channel : / @clarityforupscbydr.sh...
Telegram Channel : telegram.me/mentalhealthforco...
Archit Dhoopar (AIR 424, CSE'22) has an incredible journey of dealing with loss and failures and emerging at the end as a conquerer of it all. This is his story.
Contents :
0:00 - Archit Dhoopar, AIR 424
0:38 - Archit's Journey
2:30 - 4 Failures in Prelims and the toll on confidence it takes
5:22 - Peer Influence and changing attitudes
9:28 - His INCREDIBLE Courage
14:38 - Not Making it in the interview
20:04 - Meditation and low prelims score
24:03 - Taking a break and motivation for Civil Services
31:25 - Just a job
34:23 - It is NOT failure or success
36:17 - Huge Competition and Backup Plan
41:41 - Plan B
44:10 - Final Thoughts
Hi everyone. Archit this side. Thanks for your warm responses. I feel good after sharing my story with you all and reading all the comments humbles me even more. I'm glad that talking about the right things and in the right way is being appreciated by everyone. Let us continue talking about the same and be there for each other through the difficulties and struggles. And most importantly there is always a light at the end of the tunnel so let's walk towards it together. Thanks and my best wishes to you all !
thankyou sir ..being a engineering grad but coming to upsc nd still failing and being confused about whether its good to have plan b ..whether it will reduce my time for prepration per day ..ur insights are eyeopener for me..thankyou ..now i can join any work without a guilt ..nd still try to reach upto the ultimate goal.
Great session. Btw how can one become copyrighter? One has to be based in around delhi? I have to build up an resume on linkdin or what?
from msc physics background actually...
Thank you
Hey archit......pls share your strategy for philosophy and booklist for philosophy. It would be a great help
This video gives me hope.. thank you, you are doing a good job shivin.. God bless you!
May God bless you with health and happiness Dr. Shivin, you are doing a great job ❤
I am smiling after watching someone atleast agreed they did everything what i can say , when feeling sad , life is not end if youre follow someone who is exactly know how to overcome bad situation s 🎉
Sir, ur doing very good thing..
Thanks
Thank you so much ♥️
Thank you so much for this conversation sir.
This is how a real TOPPERS TALK should be ! ❤
This is all i wanted to hear specially after yesterday’s prelims. We need to DETACH ourselves from this attachment with exam. Thank you so much for this session and making me realise that yes this is lonely and i am accepting it but there are so many people going through the same thing.
I'm also following samarpan techniques for meditation it helps alot.. 😇😇
Thank you Shivin. This was needed after yesterday's pre
How I wish this talk to never end. It's always satisfying to listen to you Shivin.God bless u ❤
Congratulations Archit
Thank you for this session.
This kind of honest stuff is what we need. Thankyou sir[s]
Great talk ✨more power to u both
Needed conversation thanku to both of you, for coming with this❤️
Thank u soo much for bringing such video ❤❤❤
Thank u for sharing this❤
Everything well said. Truth must reach to everyone.
Thank you sir ❤
Thanku for sharing this😊
Beautiful. One of the best ones on this channel. Left me with a calming air. Thank you both, it was much needed. :)
Kudos to you Archit sir for being consistent !!! Got to learn from you alot. And big thanks to Shivin sir for bringing this session, really needed it.
Soooo true Thank you
Super proud of your journey Mr. Dhoopar! Thank you for sharing your experience. It takes strength to talk about it
Thank you. And i feel good after sharing this and reading all the responses . 😊
I am in this journey for 7 years now. Atleast mentally. I graduated in Civil Engineering in 2016. Gave my first attempt then. I believed and I still do that I can do it. So I wanted to take up this preparation on a fully fledged basis but my father didn't allow me then(as he knew 2-3 people who couldn't clear this exam despite all efforts and they were from IIT's and NIT's, so my father didn't believe in me blindly) I gave State govt exams and got selected. I was a PSC officer in MP govt. So in job after dealing with just so many hurdles and anyhow making time to study, I gave my next attempt in 2020, then 2021 and 2022. Every single time I missed my prelims with few marks. So finally blow after blow and Papa not supporting me fully to give up the job, and job was too hectic, I finally resigned in August 2022 to give my 100% just for once. I began in 2016 with zero guidance or rather say sick guidance(whatever was available on internet). All serious aspirants of this journey leave no stone unturned so haven't I. Have been through worst of mental states like many of us. Infact have attempted suicide too just many times. Still anyhow motivated myself and pushed back to be in this journey for this is what I always wanted to do. Studies well. Worked my breathe harder. Cried until I shiver and weeped to sleep, screamed just a thousand times may be, have been a horrible kid to my parents for this time, ranting and gruding for many things that they didn't let me do initially and everything else that we all go through. But this time in 2023 I was sure that Paper will be tough but I will make it. I couldn't sleep a night before exam but anyhow held myself tight to give in my best. And was there on time. Don't want to blame. But ITS A FACT THAT YOUR ETERNAL POTENCY, YOUR EXTERNAL ENVIRONMENT AND A FAVOUR FROM LUCK PLAYS TO MAKE YOU ANYTHING OR BREAK YOU. Everything was set with me this time. Atleast I was contented. And despite the fact that the classroom was horrible with bad desk and benches and very chirpy talkative invigilators(I had to ask them to talk slowly many a times) I gave my 100% and I AM STILL NOT THROUGH. Gave CSAT with full focus.That I clear with good margin. But or no use. Didn't check anything kal Himmat hi nahi thi. Opened my GS paper in the morning today and believe me without opening answer keys from coachings there were 15 questions that I saw, and I told myself with checking on any topic or book, I knew I have marked it wrong. I was assured that there was no gap in my knowledge base. So i think the situation in your examination centre plays A LOT A LOT OF ROLE AS WELL. Because you can't keep calm after watching such a shocking paper. Still many many people will clear it. But that doesn't means na ki people who are not clearing it haven't worked hard or that they don't deserve it. We all do. Special thanks to Dr. Shivin and Satyam Jain. You both have played a huge role to keep me on this beautiful journey of being a better human being, especially since August 2022 when I resigned from my job. Right now I don't know what next. I have one attempt but I'm not going to take it. I just can't. I'm done. For there's more to life that is waiting. My family and friends and everything that I have put secondary over this exam. I THINK THAT'S IT FOR ME. I'M DONE. IF NOT A RANK HOLDER I KNOW I AM DEFINITELY A BETTER HUMAN BEING. And if you don't be then perhaps you don't understand the nature of the exam. It will make you better anyway. All those who prepare without job think - I wish I had a job. People like me who were giving it with decent job think - I wish we had the liberty of time to give this exam in a fully fledged way earlier. So anyway we pull reasons to everything good and bad. And most importantly we should not listen to everyone for sure. There are very less people who are genuine and share their honest journey and hurdles. For most of who clear this exam, especially after this Internet Revolution post 2016, their UPSC is just another digital content that benefits them and more than them, the coachings. Sorry I didn't intend to right this long text. But just a message because I have been a part of the administration, please please and please don't join or take any exam for the sake of the name of government written over it. People give a lot ill and biased advice that Government Jobs are better. For prestige and perks and insecurity. or atleast you will get time to prepare for further exams. Let me tell you - ITS ALL A MYTH. EVERY JOB DEMANDS A LOT OF YOU AND YOUR TIME AND EFFORT. And there are just so many things out there to do. Please don't waste your precious years on this exam. Please don't romanticise it if you don't have right guidance, right enviornment. Try for it say 1-2 sincere years. THEN JUST LEAVE ELSE YOU WILL BE MISSING A LOT OF YOUR LIFE. All the very best to all of you! -Shiwali
And yes Dr. Shivin, you are one of the best human beings I have come across. God bless you. :)
You are a warrior aspirant. We fought the battle until the head was cut. I hope you read it about Tipu Sultan Dying a life of a lion for a day is far better than dying a life of a goat everyday. Best of luck for your future endeavours. Good to know many have same fears and same stories.
@@shiwali-or1zs Give it one more time. Don't lose hope.
More power to you shiwali. 🙌 You are absolutely right there is nothing to romanticise in this. Somehow all the sacrifices that we make and efforts that we put are overtaken by the sheer unpredictability of the exam. I am sure you will find something good coming towards you soon. My best wishes for you and let us continue talking about such things in the future as well.
Thanks for sharing this. Upsc is not about knowledge based examination, it demands how u manage yourself in that 2 hours . No matter how much u have done hard work throughout year, but what matters in that 2 hours really matters!!! Your speed , your concentration, your mind stability , your common sense all matter .. if there is fluctuations and instability in your mind during 2 hours then u r finished no matter how much u have well studied . Many lakh of lakh aspirants are trapped in this illusion .coaching institution are glorifying IPS AND IAS as superior and powerful job in country , security , royal entry, bhaukal etc but in reality these services are not like that ..many aspirants are in trapped illusory world .. In human being life , time is limited , out of this there is also uncertainty.. So wasting time is disastrous, it can not be retrieved further. This exam is hard due to its time span period. The real pains occur when u not only miss some marks but u miss 1 year of time .
This is real. Noone will come to you to help while you are struggling and tbh this is normal in this world. Everyone enjoys Sun's bright light but noone asks for how long it's been burning. But isn't that what is making you better and rugged version of yourself. It's simple either be a player and get in ground, work hard, face all type of opinions OR stay in the crowd. But remember noone remembers the crowd. Do you remember who was in the crowd when Kapil Dev got up, saved the team and got us the 1st world cup???
Dr. Shivin thank you
Archit
Some of these beautiful stories go unheard amongst the toppers strategy! Thankyou Shivin Sir for bringing us this conversation! More strength to you Archit Sir!!!
Great session ❤❤
I also lost my mother last year due to cancer. Thanks for this 🙂
Be strong bhen mumma love u so much i feel very bad when i see ur comment
I lost my father 5 years back , being unemployed and preparing for this exam gives stress.
Great session both of u sir You were giving a positive mindset which an aspirant should have Thanks a lot
Your sessions really help me manage my exam anxiety and feel good about myself even amidst chaos. I'm glad I found this channel. Never stop doing the amazing work that you're doing. 🌻
Very honest ❤️
Thanks for the lovely session guys. ❤
A beautiful conversation between two human beings. :)
You both changed my perspective towards upsc exam.. thank you
The stories of guys like these make me get my books again and get up for another attempt
Thank You So Much :)
I came to know about Shivin sir after quite a long time but I'm glad that I know such a beautiful human being like him. He's always with us.
thank you .... 🙂 at the end 🙂
Shivin, please make video on information related to other services as well.
Great❤
I'm glad that someone is actually talking about mental health issues that one faces while preparing for UPSC. Otherwise one would just come across strategy videos and all other associated things but mental health. I used to wonder that why isn't any topper talking about the mental health challenges that they had to face during this preparation. It makes one believe that it's just them that are facing such challenges when it's not true. Thanks and congratulations for highlighting such an important issue.
7:53 very true its just us No one will ever understand the struggles until someone really prepares for this exam....
Nobody talks about this, everybody talks about success, study, hard work but no one expects us to maintain our sanity.
The sad part is that even when one is trying to be strong and stay positive, the so-called relatives and people around us pull us down for no good damn reason. When you explain this very concept of not being a failure, they quip that these are the fancy things that failures come up with. "Sincere nahi the isliye nahi hua aur kuch nahi hai"!!! One of the relatives called me yesterday after exam (Not before to wish me luck) and asked how the paper was. When I said it wasn't as good as I expected, the reply was "Wo to mujhe awaaz sunke hi pata chal gaya tha"!!! Like WTF!!!
Tell them you are happy atleast you tried.. And tell in this world other donkeys are just poking their nose in others life and doing nothing better😅
Congratulations Archit. A friend of mine missed the list by 3 marks this year. He seemed chill and upbeat but I could sense he is faking. It is very difficult.
I remember purchasing my first keyboard in grade 6, when all started telling that either choose UPSC or music otherwise you'll never succeed in life and somewhere I also started believing same but now after listening Archit Sir I'm feeling better and happy that i did not give up learning music. Thankyou very much Dr. Shivin and Archit Sir for sharing your experience and guidance with us ❤
Our empathetic sir. You put yourself in someone's situation and feel genuinely Sir you are Sensei Kakashi to us❤
23:00
32:00
Thanks to both of you.. Archit dhoopar sir congratulations for being consistent.. Congratulations for your determination.. And being strong during tough times which nobody else could do.. Your dad is proud to have a son like you who is determined and consistent 😊
Thanks a lot for your kind words. It does mean a lot. 😊🙏
Dr Shivin you are amazing human being you almost seems unreal your empathy nd humility for others after having cracked UPSC is mind boggling India needs administrators like you 🍁🍁🍁
I got chronic illness after I entered into UPSC preparation and still struggling with it...I can totally relate how it takes toll on mental and physical health. Thanks for this video sir...
So proud of you, Archit. I'm trying to embrace the stoic life as well, and it does lend you a lot of solace. Wish you all the best for your journey ahead. :)
Thanks for the wishes. And yes stoicism teaches us some practical but much needed lessons to live by.
At 11:00 shivin sir started crying by just listening others pain ..I said 1000 times, Shivin sir u r more than AIR1..The best human being i have ever seen in my life..
I grew up in a very difficult environment with both parents having alcohol/substance abuse problems and went through a divorce when I was just 2. Childhood was like a whirlwind of emotions for me with no stability at all. This has greatly affected me in my relationships but that is another point for a different day. I too drifted waywardly after entering college and although I did complete college and got a job in the private sector, my habits eventually caught up and I resigned, left the big city I was working in and went back home. I was already 30 by then. I managed to kick my habit but went through severe depression as I was unemployed and still struggling. I decided to give the UPSC/PSC a try since it was the dream of my grandad before he died. Mind you, by this time, everyone in my immediate family had died. I was all alone save for one grandparent. No one believed in me - that I would be able to clear an exam for a peon, let alone the PSC exams. I did appear for the UPSC prelims twice but I was not successful. Even though STs have the age relaxation, the disadvantage is that at that age I competing with much younger people with no baggage, in terms of emotional issues etc. I then appeared for one of the competitive exams in my state for a contract (Group A) post and somehow I got selected. Three years later, I got through the PSC exams. I now am posted in a very prestigious post and when I think back at my life and what I've been through, I sometimes cannot believe it. My main point is - never ever give up. Never. Never ever give up no matter what. Edit : but there is one aspect of my relative success that still hurts : that I had no one to share it with.(I'm still single btw) No parents to tell, to be happy with. The grandparent I mentioned is very old and doesn't really understand so yes, that is one thing that stings.
Wanting to hug archit sir through the screen while he is talking about his journey . Hats off
Thanks for the warm response 😊🙏
@@architdh We normally tend to think that we alone are the victim and all bad is happening to us only , but listening to others surely is humbling. Uncle will surely be proud and smiling from a better place seeing you sir 💙 Huge respect .
Thanks abhinav. Yes always our suffering seems to be overwhelming. But somehow everyone goes through something or the other. So being understanding and compassionate towards each other is always better. And thank you once again for your kind words. 😊
There will be a time when these honest conversations and stories of failure and struggle become famous among the population and then we can say our society has evolved.
Cabinet secretary 😂 The naiveness and stupidity the entire upsc community will relate to. Glad to know you've grown to think and be better. That's the motivation for me. To change my mindset and work towards the right intent. Thank you Shivin sir and Archit sir. 🙏
This is exactly why i fell in love with dr.shivin. No one gives you the clerity about upsc the way shivin sir gives. Deglorifying upsc is the need of hour . Lets try to save our youths precious years.
Shivin bhai i failed to find my name in the list after interview 2022 but such videos are a form of console to the heartbreak I went after working so hard.....
Salute to you Archit Sir 🙂 Yes aspirants need a backup plan for this exam now. It will be full of surprises next time too. I think it is a policy decision.
Great session sir❤ Just want to add one thing - sir there are also aspirants from small villages/towns who have just done simple graduation in Ba /Bsc with absolutely zero scope in private sector. We have to rely on govt exams to get a job /earn a living... All these concepts like marketable skills have no meaning and are out of scope for us. Most of us have to prepare for govt teacher/bank exams just to be safe and survive. People with medical and engg. background have worked really hard in their early lives and earned this luxury to choose between govt and private sector but we have to prepare for another exam.
I totally understand your point bcz i am also facing this situation right now.
Yes. It's true.
Agreed
Raise this issue bcoz jab tak hum bolenge koi hamari nhi sunega nhi jab tak poor person administration mei baithega nhi poor people ka kuch nhi hoga
hey dear..its just a myth that only medical and engineering students can acquire skill and make themselves marketable after failed attempts..today even simple graduates are earning more than many engineering background even in the it sectr too..u just need a internet connection and right mindset with dedication to learn a new skill ..youtube is full of coding courses or other guidance...take a toll on that.
Sir plz make strategy video on EPFO
Very frutiful session Sir, its really been enlightening throughout, about the rawness and vivid analysis of the journeys and truest perspectives of the journey. Guest Sir really emphasized well on we can only analyse the past retrospectively. I dint give the exam this year, which i thought i would but i was busy elsewhere nevertheless I'm satisfied with the journey of my learnings, it doesnt has to be so precious that it takes toll on ones' mental health, especially who deal with anxiety and panic attacks. Thankyou.
❤️❤️
In between the video, felt like acknowledging...we are never taught to accept the feelings we are feeling, whatever feeling it is. Har feeling starting se suppressed hi reh jati hai and as an adult when it all becomes gloomy suddenly all the suppressed feelings knocks your door and now there's no one who gets it. Also rightly said, acceptance and disassocaition helps, really. At my place, i have felt loner, seen things going bad yet these 2 things helped me keep going. Thankyou Shivin Sir for inviting Archit Sir, it is really relieving!
Shivin ur smile is beautiful keep smiling 😄
Great session. Btw how can one become copyrighter? You have to be based on delhi? You build up an resume on linkdin or what?
Plzmore interview
Plan B , Reinforces Your Plan 'A'.
Exactly.....
It was a great session, what u said about glorification,attachment,selling dream absolutely true. Thank u both of u dwell into what real things happening around this exam, our feelings and our mind is more imp than this exam.ince again thank u shivin from last few months u have been with us and how much u have an impact on us i can't tell you. After seeing paper I did not scared but what I thougt that definitely there would definitely be a shock. still, what I did is just trying to go through the paper with strong hope and a stable mind,I detach my self from my result and I was just trying to solve the paper. Itna stable mind in my exam was possible becoz of u, i dont know what result will be .once again Thank u so much, What really needs glorification of failure itna hard work for all these years in this journey after surving is great thing,i think that needed in our lives ,failure hone ke bad be surving happly is need of the hour for everyone ,not only upsc....! Finally Having GRATITUDE towards what happens at every moment in our lives.
bhaiya aap log fariste ho mere liye , thank you bhaiya
jab hum akele hote hai struggle kar rahe hote hai roz during prep days and any important phase of your life koi nahi ata , pass hue to wah wahi nai hue to roz roz ke tane , shadi ka pressure , ye to kuch karne ke liye bani hi nahi hai itna padhne ke bad kya fayda , so its all our struggle agar aap jeet gaye to sab honge friends be like kya hi kar rahe ho but i don't mind kyunki i know ki what all im going through for preparations except my family , thanks shivin bhaiya for this vedio . hume chalte rehna hai bas
Sir i m feeling very hopeless right now ... Not able to understand what will I do in life,.
A very heartwarming discussion -- really grateful for the session :) On a side note, I have a small request to make Shivin sir -- it would be beneficial if you could keep the Telegram comments disabled for your posts. Maybe you can set up an email ID to separately deal with select queries; keeping the comments open causes more hate to be spewed openly, harming everyone who is a part of the group. I know that one has to be thick-skinned in this journey; however, sometimes a lot of discussion does more harm than good. Since the YT comments are always open, this was just a small suggestion you may consider :)
Hi shivin sir i want to reach out to you regarding mental health .
How do we contact Dr Shivin?
Shivin bhaiya we want live session ppz prelims make everyone hurt ppz we dont know what to do now can we get out of it or go with flow plz help us
Archit was from my College He is from poornima institute of engineering. Really proud of you archit.
Hi poorva. Good to see you here. Thanks a lot. 😊🙏
You had a good soul in your company poorva he’s a gem of a person
I can see balidan badge behind Is he son of a para commando?
Hello sir, this was the only way I could reach you. I just restarted my prep for 2024 as I couldn’t get through 2023 attempt and starting everything all over again from step 1 is making me so anxious with all the self doubts that whether I am doing it right, what if I don’t get through again, is this even my place to be etc. Just wanted to know if it is what it happens coz knowing that everybody is in the same boat makes things normal for me. Thanks in advance sir.
So many thing I agree with but many others i don’t agree to.
pucha kisi ne?
@@pratyushraj8539 it's social media koi kisiko kuch puchta nhi hai sab ko haq hai bolne ka..... although I agree to their points but if someone doesn't agree you can't say like this
How can I reach to you sir? Can you please keep a live session for 2024 aspirants please sir?
Can you have more session on loss please ? I lost a young one and don’t know how to cope with it. In one video you dealt with your loss can you discuss it more
Shivin can u please share your marksheet?..
Shivin, please comment/reply/ to this concern. My prelims was bad. But what is scaring me the most is that a lot of people are saying Upsc has changed the question paper pattern exactly 10 years after the last pattern change. I really hope asking these absurd questions doesn’t become the new pattern.
I think UPSC will follow this pattern for next few yrs Btw horrible paper😕
Ya.... it's my demand also
Lets just hope tat doesn't hpn 🤞🤞
Sir I scared after seeing ppr 2023 And now I feel demotivated , I will give my first attempt in 2024 Please guide me
Hey man !!! Are you doing self study or doing any coaching??
sir a sincere request ....plzz take a session with any person who couldnot make in this exam ...... plzz its a request
Some things become a lot easier to speak about, when you get selected
Sir i m suffering from pain and numbness while writing
Life always finds a way to test us with trials and tribulations - loss and failure being amongst the most difficult. But amidst the chaos, let Archit Dhoopar's message serve as a guiding light - through meditative practice we can find solace and grow from the pain. Let us celebrate our journey, even the toughest moments, for they shape us into who we are meant to be.
This situation hits too close to home.Cant watch beyond 11 mins of this vide.
Indian education is very rigid 😢😢 i cried out
para sf poster behind him