The Brain Expert: How To Raise Mentally Resilient Children (According To Science) | Dr. Daniel Amen

2024 ж. 13 Мам.
782 233 Рет қаралды

Today, let's welcome back renowned brain expert and child psychologist, Dr. Daniel Amen!
We discuss mindful parenting, ways you can set goals with your children, and how to nurture their ability to think independently. Dr. Amen will help you better understand the hacks of raising well-rounded, resilient, and loving individuals in today's fast-paced world.
In this interview, we discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:46 How Do You Set Goals For Your Kids?
04:34 How Do Children Become Free Thinkers?
10:19 Allow Your Child to Get Uncomfortable
13:01 The 20-Minute Practice to Bond with Your Child
17:46 What Does No Boundaries Lead To?
21:26 Why Do Children Shut Down?
24:54 How Do You Repair a Broken Bond?
28:00 Don’t Tell Your Child They Are Smart
31:04 How Can Your Child Solve a Problem?
33:07 You Are Making Your Kids Miserable
35:16 Attachments That Become Broken
37:37 I Don’t Understand My Child
41:54 What is a Loving Discipline?
44:51 My Child is Addicted to Social Media
46:25 What Does Social Do to the Brain?
48:35 Effects of Divorce on Kids
51:01 Teach Your Child to Self-Soothe
53:39 How to Love Your Child Right
Episode Resources:
www.tiktok.com/ @docamen
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www.amazon.com/stores/Daniel-...
danielamenmd.com/
www.amenuniversity.com/
www.npr.org/sections/health-s...

Пікірлер
  • What is something you learned from Dr. Amen? I’d like to invite you to join this community and subscribe to the channel. By hitting the 'Subscribe' button, you're not just becoming a subscriber - you're choosing to make a positive difference in your life.

    @JayShettyPodcast.@JayShettyPodcast.Ай бұрын
    • Will you have Dr Amen on to discuss PANS and PANDAS?

      @JF-hz9ig@JF-hz9igАй бұрын
    • Proposal for next guest on the show: And Blomberg, founder of language learning app THINKIN. I was at his talk at SXSW and it was an absolute blast listening to his story. Although they are a quite young startup, here’s why I believe he’s a great fit for the show: - Alongside Speak and Elsa.Speak, THINKIN is leading the current disruption in the $40bn online language learning market. - While Speak is backed by OpenAI, THINKIN just got acquired by Netflix. - THINKIN makes a pretty bold move by choosing to not be on mobile. - Their app is popular among Hollywood stars including Selena Gomez, and also used by German Bundesliga football teams to help their international players learn the language. - They were recently mentioned on The Tim Ferriss Show. - They went through two startup accelerators. And Blomberg talked really spicy about those at SXSW.

      @jonathan5809l@jonathan5809lАй бұрын
    • Idea for next guest: And Blomberg from THINKIN. He gave a great talk at SXSW and they just got acquired by Netflix.

      @jonathan5809l@jonathan5809lАй бұрын
    • I'd love to hear your take on all the details coming out about your past... and the fact that many things in your story don't line up as you have told them over the years. Are you going to address that?? I know you are aware of the article... but will you address the specific things they say you've lied about?

      @alchapopapo@alchapopapoАй бұрын
    • It would be great if you could do a podcast with Ronaldo

      @studentsimplelife@studentsimplelifeАй бұрын
  • I love how Dr Amen said 20mins of quality time doing something the child loves...that's like finding the child's love language and using that time to show them they are loved. My dad did this so well and I am eternally grateful.

    @sophiag2348@sophiag2348Ай бұрын
    • ❤❤❤

      @JayShettyPodcast.@JayShettyPodcast.Ай бұрын
    • I was only able to see my father every other weekend since being four years old and my dad spent the time that he had with us all on us, talking playing, walking, hiking biking whatever we could do together we did it together and we had the best relationship a daughter could ever ask for, and I learned so much from him, and my own parenting of my three children and I’m forever grateful for him for doing that❤️❤️

      @mindyhanson3273@mindyhanson3273Ай бұрын
    • I have been following him for awhile and this has helped me so much as parent! When kids feel respected they will give it back much more often. ❤️

      @sassysince90@sassysince90Ай бұрын
    • I guess I need to learn to play video games. 😁

      @sweetbeautyblu9921@sweetbeautyblu9921Ай бұрын
    • @@sweetbeautyblu9921 Same here…😅

      @Hi-vw7fg@Hi-vw7fg23 күн бұрын
  • I hang out with my gson who is 10 and has autism. I'm never on my phone. We run around, watch tv, play video games and go on hikes. He'll walk with me and just hug me. He is constantly asking me questions about life. It is the most amazing time I have with him.

    @xochiltrodriguez428@xochiltrodriguez428Ай бұрын
    • I love that 😍 you're a good Gmom...

      @abigailpierce4079@abigailpierce4079Ай бұрын
    • @@abigailpierce4079 thank you. I can't even clean when he's at my house and watching tv. He'll call me and say, Shishi, look. Lol. I wish parents would spend quality time with their kids. I think I would see less issues at the psych hospital I workbat.

      @xochiltrodriguez428@xochiltrodriguez428Ай бұрын
    • You are wonderful

      @ratnakwok3972@ratnakwok3972Ай бұрын
    • You make my heart smile ❤😊 thank you for being his best friend and parent

      @saida4292@saida4292Ай бұрын
    • You are such a bright light in his life. So precious ❤

      @SideQuestEmpress@SideQuestEmpressАй бұрын
  • I will practice the 20 minute more often with my daughter she's 3 and I notice she spends more time playing with her dad than with me and its always because he takes the time to play what she likes and even if I feel like I have a lot on my plate I will try to find those 20 minutes to play with her.

    @fatimaramirez9123@fatimaramirez9123Ай бұрын
    • That is great! Try to do that every day, Even if it is before bedtime! It is nessesary to build that bond, as she grows… When you will look back, nothing will be more important than your relationship with your child/children ❤️ good luck! It will bring you both so much happiness, love and joy!

      @piachristoffersen3740@piachristoffersen3740Ай бұрын
    • I'm like you. I'll try too.

      @euphrates74@euphrates74Ай бұрын
  • "God gave us parents until our frontal lobes developed" This is such a great reminder for boundries ❤

    @sandysanchez7151@sandysanchez7151Ай бұрын
  • My God… I loved two specific suggestions that I never knew how to put into words for my adult children who are now parents so they could help instill qualities they have but I didn’t know how my husband and I cultivated those traits. 1. Self esteem has closest correlation to hard work ethic ( our toddlers began chores at 2.5, had to have paying jobs at 14 on weekend, had to work full time summer jobs in high school) 2. Don’t help with home work, relay to child the potential consequences of them not doing it then allow them to experience them good or bad. 3. Also love love love the difference between saying to a child that’s doing a task like alphabet flash cards “ you’re so smart!” And instead say “ what a hard worker you are” so they inculcate hard work habits that pull them through tasks they’re not good at later on. Pure Gold

    @gunmol61@gunmol61Ай бұрын
  • Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    @steceymorgan814@steceymorgan81421 күн бұрын
    • Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

      @Jennifer-bw7ku@Jennifer-bw7ku21 күн бұрын
    • Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU21 күн бұрын
    • I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

      @elizabethwilliams6651@elizabethwilliams665121 күн бұрын
    • Is he on instagram?

      @Jennifer-bw7ku@Jennifer-bw7ku21 күн бұрын
    • Yes he is. dr.sporessss

      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU21 күн бұрын
  • My dad would take us on long car rides on the weekend just to go for a long ride and be in the same space together and I understand now why he did it. He would play games with us like asking us questions in regards to math he’d give us a scenario of kids how many kids getting on the bus at one stop and then the other and then we have to solve the problem and my dad was always, loving, but firm and just always there for us ready to listen when we needed him and those are some of my biggest memories as a child growing up just being in the car together

    @mindyhanson3273@mindyhanson3273Ай бұрын
    • That is just beautiful! I do this with my son, sometimes just being in the car together, bonding, laughing, snacking, stopping somewhere beautiful 😊, doing the 20 question quiz together etc… such simple things, but so meaningful for our connection! Thank you ❤️

      @piachristoffersen3740@piachristoffersen3740Ай бұрын
  • Oh this conversation is magical. This is required listening for all parents today. I’m sharing with every young parent in my life. 20 minutes a day with your child, uninterrupted, no cellphone, no distractions where you give no directions, no commands and ask no questions. This is golden. I needed this reminder Jay Shetty. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    @avaleen@avaleenАй бұрын
  • Going on hikes and camping trips really helps bond with the kiddos, no phone service , with a new adventure for all. 🔥 show

    @lalo5648@lalo5648Ай бұрын
    • Love that!!!

      @JayShettyPodcast.@JayShettyPodcast.Ай бұрын
  • Here I am thinking I’m completely f*ing this up (parenting) just to hear I’m actually doing it right 🤯 we need to work on bonding more as a family unit.

    @krischeleceaser87@krischeleceaser87Ай бұрын
  • When my kids were in elementary school, they were responsible for making their own lunch and making sure they took it to school.Each one of them forgot their lunch once. When I took them their lunch, I told them that if I had to ever bring it again, I was bringing bread and water. I never had to do that because they knew I meant it!

    @suzannaylor653@suzannaylor653Күн бұрын
  • What a way to break generational patterns. Thank you so much from this single momma of a 3 yo boy. We are learning and winning everyday ❤

    @tessawallis1195@tessawallis1195Сағат бұрын
  • In our house we (mom and dad) tell our two children that they are part of our team and we want to help everyone on our team to do well and make better choices so we will have a better life together. We thank them and say I love you many times a day. We ask them for age appropriate help and give some positive feedback. We treat them the way we wished we had been treated when we were growing and failing. We (mom and dad) both of us experienced ridicule when we made mistakes even over minor things, and we both recall being ignored or berated by peers, parents, teachers, and bosses. We learned early on what kind of people and parents we never wanted to become. Fast forward to our late 30s and early 40s we are parents to two young humans whose lives, their minds and thoughts and emotional development and capacity for empathy we cherish and care for and will protect at all costs.

    @KristenGuyDesign@KristenGuyDesignАй бұрын
  • This is literally GOLD for parents! Thank you both

    @Crob3621@Crob3621Ай бұрын
    • Thank you for watching!

      @JayShettyPodcast.@JayShettyPodcast.Ай бұрын
  • I just stumbled across this video somehow and I had no idea how wrong I’ve been when it comes to parenting. It’s like this doctor was talking directly too me. I’m going to have to watch this multiple more times until I grasp everything he is saying. Thank you for this video.

    @cameronforeman1043@cameronforeman1043Ай бұрын
    • It's beautiful that you are trying to be a BETTER parent That says a lot

      @angiem2375@angiem2375Ай бұрын
    • This is beautiful. I am in a similar boat. I have a 22 month old and I haven't been able to decide on what type of a parent I want to be. Other than that, I know I hope they get my strong sense of self and intuition, and I hope I am the parent they will come to and discuss everything with. I want to be that parent that they actually will go to for advice before making major decisions.

      @snow5962@snow5962Ай бұрын
    • I feel the same way.

      @sandryconner5408@sandryconner5408Ай бұрын
    • Me too.

      @denisenorman4032@denisenorman4032Ай бұрын
  • Both of my parents exhibit traits of sociopathic narcissism, making them deeply abusive individuals who seek to control every aspect of my life. After much reflection and self-preservation, I have made the decision to sever ties with them. I no longer engage in communication with them and have chosen to distance myself entirely. It's a necessary step for my well-being and personal growth. Thanx Jay and thank you Dr.Daniel.

    @luniz-vy4iq@luniz-vy4iqАй бұрын
    • I know thats not easy bc I had to do the same. Good for you @luniz-vy4iq I hope your journey turns out amazing as you build your life for yourself

      @SamuelStJuste-jl1cc@SamuelStJuste-jl1ccАй бұрын
    • Sad…. I see this trend more and more…. Sometimes you do have to distance yourself but ideally come around again stronger and wiser to rebuild the relationship. Our parents did their best and loved us in the best way they could…. If they meant well I would honor that… somehow

      @truthbetold2146@truthbetold2146Ай бұрын
    • Good game plan, I agree. @@truthbetold2146

      @SamuelStJuste-jl1cc@SamuelStJuste-jl1ccАй бұрын
    • Set boundaries but don’t write them off. Goes both ways.

      @grateful7839@grateful7839Ай бұрын
    • Why would you sever ties with them? If you're mature now you should be the one helping them understand how things that they've done hurt you and try to rebuild your relationship with them. They raised you, you have no idea how hard it is for parents to raise their kids. Don't be fooled by modern ideology that teach you how to be selfish. Unless your parents are hurting you physically or mentally there is no reason for you to turn your back to them. Without them, there would be no you

      @gzhen123@gzhen123Ай бұрын
  • Jay Shetty is the GOAT interviewer! He asks questions that the audience wants an answer to and didn't even know we wanted. (And he likely already knows the answer to most)

    @BernitaFord@BernitaFordАй бұрын
  • Omg, I've been saying this for at least 34 years! "Don't send children to be raised by strangers. Yes, attachment. But also..The children FAR outnumber the adults, the ignorant & undeveloped end up influencing & raising one another. The blind leading the blind." This is why after being in child dev't & care & experiencing "parents", I stayed at home & educated my kids myself.

    @perspectiveiseverything1694@perspectiveiseverything1694Ай бұрын
  • You know what helps a child’s self esteem most? An emphasis on education, morals, family, and faith.

    @rayp7135@rayp7135Ай бұрын
  • I considered explaining this to my dad but stopped my self. Not sure if it’s a good or negative thing but ultimately I know I need to correct it from my part as a mother. This video was very revelatory and I hope to honor my self and work on my ego and allow the management of my child in a healthy way. That self attack was just wow. I can’t control the processing of my father and I have realize that it’s not a reflection of my self nor my responsibility but what is, is being to be present and balance my ego for my self and break the cycle. I need this book please.

    @IslandofGirl@IslandofGirlАй бұрын
  • This is a timely indeed topic. I am a Sri Lankan PhD scholar. Sometimes I feel very bad about me and about my child. I have this guilt cycle. What I have learnt in my journey is this. For us to become more balanced and more a better parent is not an individual task. It has a wholistic approach. Partners, care givers, work environment stress, economic stabilty so on etc all have to come in good combination. Sometimes we may know what is actually going on, we know the methods too. But we fail in practicing them sometimes

    @user-qn7ub2ib6g@user-qn7ub2ib6gАй бұрын
  • This interview is pure gold! Imagine if all parents were given this knowledge and the tools to be great parents. How much better our communities would be, how much generational trauma would be avoided. Crime rates would plummet.

    @staceyonekawa5283@staceyonekawa5283Ай бұрын
  • I found this video on my suggestions to watch this morning, after just having an awful morning with my 2 year old. After texting my husband when I got to work, I literally said, we need to figure out something different to do with J. Kicking and screaming and just being mean. I know that what she is doing is because she can't communicate how she is feeling. She's a great talker, but can't always find the words. I'm always in a rush and trying to get everyone ready for work and school. This video just calmed my heart and eased my guilty conscience of being upset and angry when she wasn't cooperating or listening. I ordered the book before the end. Gosh knows I need help with my 5 step kids too. ❤ Thank you!!

    @lmyunek11@lmyunek11Ай бұрын
    • Hugs for you sweet mama! I’m pregnant with number 5 and they’re all my own. So hard! But I can’t imagine working while raising and loving 5 kids that aren’t my own. What a cross and blessing you have! You are amazing for caring so much about your kiddos as well as your step children!

      @MommaBirdd@MommaBirddАй бұрын
    • @@MommaBirdd Thank you so much 🥰

      @lmyunek11@lmyunek1129 күн бұрын
    • Glad you found this. There is so much support now for parents I trust you’ll find the way.

      @aninsidestory@aninsidestory18 күн бұрын
  • I like this guy. It took a second to get into it but he grew on me. “20 min undivided attention” beautiful

    @Bigcountry214@Bigcountry214Ай бұрын
  • Such powerful messages from dr Amen, especially about parents who talk to much because their own anxiety & how important it is to just stop and listen to children. Thank yo both!

    @eval.jambrek7955@eval.jambrek7955Ай бұрын
  • My son is about to turn 3 and he's my entire world. I would do absolutely anything to keep him safe and protect him. With that being said, I agree 100% with everything Dr. Amen is saying. We have to think about the longevity of our parenting decisions. Allowing your child to forget his hw over and over again by bringing it to him will save him in the moment, but what damage is that doing to him long term? He learns no lessons when you bring it. He becomes that much wiser and stronger when you allow him to suffer the consequences of the mistake.

    @Levelupandheal@LevelupandhealАй бұрын
    • Keep devices away as long as possible. And don’t let anyone but you have a say so . I let my kids father get my son a cell even tho I said no, I let my parents buy him video games even tho I said no , and it messed him up . Struggled in school and creeps and explicit content being sent to him . Thankfully I caught it in time and realized my wrong in the way this played out also . But hearing this podcast reassured me that setting that boundary and explaining to his dad and my parents that it was in his best interest not to have any tech till he was 18 or out my house , only now they listen after seeing the negative side effects. Don’t let that happen

      @alexandriasimental4096@alexandriasimental4096Ай бұрын
    • @@alexandriasimental4096 I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way with that. Luckily, my husband and I both are very firm with the no tech rule. It was discussed before our son was born. If family try to offer him a video to watch on their cell phone, I kindly move it away and let them know he doesn’t need it. It sometimes creates awkward tension, but that’s nothing compared to the long term damage they can cause.

      @Levelupandheal@LevelupandhealАй бұрын
  • As an adult born in the 80s, people being in their phones at dinner reminds me of eating with a TV on in my childhood. When we had one TV in the living room we talked while we ate in the dining room. Then we got a TV in the dining room and didn’t talk. But my parents didn’t like each other sometimes although they had amongst the best relationship of the people we knew. Then it was tv trays in the living room and stopped using the dining room except holidays. Video games, TV, and phones are a symptom of people avoiding something else I think 😅

    @mm7846@mm7846Ай бұрын
  • Sense of agency builds indeed a true and competent character. Connection & presence.

    @radazolo208@radazolo208Ай бұрын
  • i think im a great dad at least in my heart and the willingness to be with my children and play with them and teaching them, what i sorely lack is this kind of knowledge

    @awfully.average@awfully.averageАй бұрын
    • 😊 28:30

      @alisonannetts7556@alisonannetts75563 күн бұрын
  • Who is thankful for seeing Dr Daniel Amen back on the podcast this 2024!? Another greatness parental conversation l have heard especially when my own are out of town for myself to do better work in this week! Keep the consistency going Jay, since so much of your audience is resnosating to your work

    @nathanleung5592@nathanleung5592Ай бұрын
    • Iam from worldwide

      @Ajeynaamdhaari636@Ajeynaamdhaari636Ай бұрын
  • Just bought the book. As a parent, we need all the help we can get to raise kids with these new challenges of today’s society ❤

    @lob1248@lob1248Ай бұрын
    • What is the name of the book

      @marykgarciapalacios5981@marykgarciapalacios5981Ай бұрын
    • How to raise mentally strong children

      @arndtlange9573@arndtlange9573Ай бұрын
  • I call it “special time” as well. It’s so amazing! It can be getting a bagel together, walking the dog. It can big or small.

    @nicoleadiaz1@nicoleadiaz1Ай бұрын
  • If I had one wish in life it would be able to visit dr Amens clinic for my brain 😮

    @helenrachel1520@helenrachel1520Ай бұрын
  • Love Dr. Amen! Great advice. And I agree, being present with your children is of utmost importance! And having them learn from their own mistakes (with support) is helpful for them in the long run.

    @dinamangarella3703@dinamangarella3703Ай бұрын
    • ❤❤❤

      @JayShettyPodcast.@JayShettyPodcast.Ай бұрын
  • Thank you “ Jay “ for this PODCAST with “ Dr Daniel Amen “ ❤😊🙏

    @jithenin@jitheninАй бұрын
  • Thank you so much for bringing this wonderful conversation to your podcast. Us, parents need all the help we can get!!

    @pucci0725@pucci0725Ай бұрын
  • I was hesitant to listen to this episode and to my surprise there is so much useful information. My kids are young adults and I find myself trying to deepen our relationship. I agree with Jay when he expands on the concept of win or learn. Am working on softening my voice and creative listening instead of critical listening.

    @mylorenzarcila901@mylorenzarcila901Ай бұрын
  • THANK YOU for this focused talk with THE Dr Amen!

    @nikifun301@nikifun301Ай бұрын
  • What works for my family and parenting doesn’t necessarily mean that will work for others and vice versa. Please just be the parent your child needs. Love them, be there for them and build bond. Don’t get too attached to your child because kids are gift from God. We don’t own them, they’re gift that can be taken anytime.

    @aminazahraa@aminazahraaАй бұрын
    • Like I got only one daughter. When she got married I experienced empty nest sickness for about a month. It was so difficult. I was sick . Couldn't eat sleep do anything yet there was nothing wrong with me when I saw a doctor 😅.

      @nurugizani3075@nurugizani307528 күн бұрын
    • @nuriagizani3075 Hos bless you . And fill the emptyness with his presence

      @magdaladmarttino9552@magdaladmarttino955222 күн бұрын
    • Yes and they need to become autonomous adults and go live their lives.

      @ceregirl5852@ceregirl58522 күн бұрын
  • Thankyou Dr. AMEN and JAY for doing meaningful work . Highly appreciate the efforts of both of You to help raise the kids in a good loving and supportive environment yet giving them the freedom to learn from mistakes . Am implementing them with my sons this very moment .Thankyou for the guidance dr Amen.

    @meenakothari7841@meenakothari7841Ай бұрын
  • Very good questions, Jay. I love that you asked what happens if you question the child while you spend quality time with him. I have a new definition of what quality time means now. Thank you for what you do.

    @claudiakraft1518@claudiakraft151828 күн бұрын
  • Wow, these few days have been an emotional baggage and to come across this is a GEM 💎. Thank you

    @SAJamar@SAJamarАй бұрын
  • Always my favourite speaker Jay genius l love his speech very much.

    @gracejasinthpriyadarsini2489@gracejasinthpriyadarsini2489Ай бұрын
  • This was such a great listen!! As a mom of boys; I am now learning more about childhood development and finding new ways to connect with my little humans. Thank you!!

    @mentoredtoexcellence6961@mentoredtoexcellence6961Ай бұрын
  • I am a devastated parent of teens... listening to this I feel so disheartened, wish this was on my radar when my kids were little. I have always given them and still do - a lot of time, effort and love. I have never been too hard on them or pressured them to be high achievers (mistake??). But as teens they have not turned out that great I don't think. One has ADHD (which is obviously not her fault etc, and it's not a problem in itself) and is very challenging, engaging in risky behaviour that of course I don't condone and am heart broken about. She takes any criticism extremely personally and just wants to run away from home every time things get challenging. The other one is a very anxious with depressive episodes, has engaged in self harm and other things that are completely incomprehensible to me. Let me also say that my marriage is absolutely great, nothing but love and affection, and no arguments. I also feel like Instagram and Tik Tok have been the other two parents in this family. I am honestly at a loss and feel like I have failed to prepare them for life.

    @clockworkpink@clockworkpinkАй бұрын
    • It might help to to take social media away. The pressures of this world are extreme and it is not all your fault. You can only do your best and whatever direction your children decide to go from that is their decision, because they have free agency. But since they are still young, definitely think about taking away social media, especially tik tok. It's been known that that App in particular has been responsible for harming the young ones due to the algorithm targeting them in negative ways.

      @JessMichael150@JessMichael150Ай бұрын
    • @JessMichael150 thank you for your kind words. I have tried to shield them both from social media for the longest time. Of course they find their way to it one way or another. They are 18 and 19 now, not much I can do. I just wanted a simple life and thought that love was enough. I hope that one day they are able to live peacefully and accept themselves. In the meantime I can't help feeling disappointed and desperately worried for them 😞

      @clockworkpink@clockworkpinkАй бұрын
    • Better late than never . Cut out all sugar and carbs from the diet and no tech

      @alexandriasimental4096@alexandriasimental4096Ай бұрын
    • Yes, this would be ideal. However they need to agree to do it as they are legally considered adults. They both drive, they have casual jobs, they attend school / university. They also must have access to technology for their education. There is no realistic way for me to stop them from having sugar or carbs as they are grown up, have their own money and social lives. The only thing that keeps me going is that they might wake up one day and start behaving reasonably. In the meantime I'll just have to deal with my sadness :(

      @clockworkpink@clockworkpinkАй бұрын
    • @@clockworkpink My mom deals with it too. She has me and my older sister, but it's still hard. You're in my thoughts. ♥️

      @JessMichael150@JessMichael150Ай бұрын
  • Wow I literally just googled how to raise a mentally resilient kid and this new one popped up.. (and I’m a regular listener) ..glad to have it right when I need it!

    @melissamaemedina@melissamaemedinaАй бұрын
  • "Be curious, rather than be furious." 😮

    @ezraestrada4992@ezraestrada499215 күн бұрын
  • It took me years to trust this channel because of the world we live in but full respect my G💯

    @chalmerjohnofficial@chalmerjohnofficialАй бұрын
  • He is a genius. It is my hope that i will be able to attend one of his sessions and clinic. He is very practical

    @jerangelalodowica6600@jerangelalodowica6600Ай бұрын
  • I keep waiting for him to come.. he's my favourite 😊😊

    @lifeof_fahmi@lifeof_fahmiАй бұрын
  • I love this topic because I wasn't taught this growing up so I'm teaching myself to listen and ask better questions and be able to prepare for my future when the time comes. Great interview 👍

    @celli6501@celli6501Ай бұрын
  • Thank you for this Dr. Amen. I felt physically sick having to withdraw my help to my college student. I vented to my friends but to my son he sees me as the stone cold Marine. It’s hard as a single parent to balance the masculine and feminine line. I’m holding firm with him but in private it sucks.

    @halehomeschool9964@halehomeschool9964Ай бұрын
    • Keep doing what you know is right Mom! ❤

      @ritaannbarnett@ritaannbarnettАй бұрын
    • I'm going through a very similar situation. My children are teens, and I'm a single father. It's incredibly hard trying to find the right amount of balance.

      @adb2490@adb2490Ай бұрын
    • ​@@adb2490I have realized that those 20 mins daily are magical for my kiddos...sometimes they want more time and i cant always give it to them, so i cherish the time that we do have...

      @peekaxu4352@peekaxu4352Ай бұрын
    • @@adb2490 vent to friends or here, social media apps. It’s getting easier as days go by.

      @halehomeschool9964@halehomeschool9964Ай бұрын
  • My parents and others told me how smart I was my whole life and I continue to tell myself that no matter what. I disagree saying that is wrong. Maybe say youre working so hard as well. My subconscious has programmed myself to constantly say im smart and it encourages the hell out of me to learn and grow. Maybe its just my definition of smart.

    @Bhauer2011@Bhauer2011Ай бұрын
    • I have meet some people who need that constant praises to keep emotional balance because their parents say that to them all the time. Maybe your situation is different but based on my experience empty praises make people emotional dependents and lazy thinker. I have a 5 year old boy, I do not say empty “you are smart”. I rather say encouraging words like “You did it. See it was not that hard”. I say “It is okay to make mistake. It is part of learning” because he is a perfectionist. My dad said to me once, “Math is so easy”. All my college years, I never study math. I didn’t even do homework. I only come in for exam. My friend hate me because I get A with little effort. A parent’s words can be very life changing to a child so I am choosing my words carefully to my son. I don’t need him to feel smart. I need him to achieve his highest potential and mentally strong.

      @annat6249@annat6249Ай бұрын
    • Ty for sharing this .. perhaps it’s not that bad .. I’m always telling my kids that their smart / intelligent..

      @monicatorres4686@monicatorres4686Ай бұрын
    • I was a few minutes in and had to stop the video to get the book!! Got it!!!!

      @monicatorres4686@monicatorres4686Ай бұрын
    • Perhaps we can say, “you work smart” bc I don’t want them to be stuck on working “hard” it’s good to work hard but there is also other ways like working creatively and smart as well..

      @monicatorres4686@monicatorres4686Ай бұрын
    • I agree. I was told the opposite. "You need to work harder for everything. You're average." When I was an adult I found an IQ test from kindergarten. I was 2 points away from gifted. Never had any schooling before kindergarten and grew up poor with a single mom. Still had such a high IQ that they labeled me as "adhd" bc they wanted to hold me back. I always tell my son how smart he is, and he makes straight A's and thinks everything is easy to learn. He's at the top of his class.

      @BlueLuna5@BlueLuna5Ай бұрын
  • I loved Jays book. Thank you for focusing on kids wellbeing.

    @_space.pony_@_space.pony_Ай бұрын
  • Whew this is so good! People really have no boundaries with their children and then I have to have the conversations with my child because these awful untamed kids running around making other kids life miserable.

    @marquettesharie@marquettesharieАй бұрын
    • 20:20 this part was sketch. This guy is too high control. His kids are adults. Let them live their life and go to college wherever they want!

      @user-kd3vg4xu5z@user-kd3vg4xu5zАй бұрын
    • Exactly like teaching your kids not to bully and be kind to 1 another no matter what kind of shoes and clothes they have on or the color of their skin.

      @lionstrength1966@lionstrength1966Ай бұрын
  • Wow I am absolutely blown away by this video. Thank you so much for all these tips. Helpful for self and in parenting. ❤

    @Issamissastar86@Issamissastar86Ай бұрын
  • I learned a lot about raising kids in this video. I’ve followed these two for a few years and together they are awesome.

    @DebbieBurness@DebbieBurness10 күн бұрын
  • Thank you for this insightful conversation.🙏 I don't have children but I have (me and my sister) many confidence and self suficiency/independence problems since we became adults and the more we now the causes and reflect on our childhood and the way we were educated by our parents, tge more we can reflect, understand and question thinks. So that we become healthier and mental stronger human beeings and someone capable of parenting with a growth mindset. This os what I truely belive. So thank you again🧡🌱🙏

    @manuelasaosimao2806@manuelasaosimao2806Ай бұрын
  • Thank you so much. So much learned through this podcast.

    @nakittekastoor237@nakittekastoor237Ай бұрын
  • Amazing interview and information… Didn’t know this before. ..but I start reading together with my son for 30 minutes a day…. my son did not like it at first … I told him this is one way for us to bond…now he knows after dinner and after his piano practice..we read . We also eat together without any phone on sight.

    @Hi-vw7fg@Hi-vw7fg23 күн бұрын
  • Thank you for this! I am so thankful & eager to learn from this conversation!

    @TeacherMom80@TeacherMom80Ай бұрын
  • I like the part by the host "creating routine and rhythm as opposed to.rules and regulations when training up children. # Powerful contribution

    @user-vr9fi4pj6b@user-vr9fi4pj6b12 күн бұрын
  • I help out my kid when she messes up, bring her lunch if she forgot it or music instrument…she needs to know I care for her and when she is old enough she will at some point be responsible for herself, but while she is young she needs to feel that care. That’s the most important!

    @lusinekhachatryan5697@lusinekhachatryan569710 күн бұрын
    • I agree… we can’t expect young children to have adult responsibility on an everyday basis. It’s okay to help them find interest in responsibility and when they take the responsibility then scaffold that.

      @ginagina9592@ginagina95922 күн бұрын
  • Dr is speaking to my soul Really needed this thank you so much 🙏🙌❤️❤️❤️

    @momwalker2706@momwalker2706Ай бұрын
  • Not coddling. This is so important, and needs to be taught to all parents!

    @haaveshesawyerr7309@haaveshesawyerr7309Ай бұрын
    • Where does he say this?

      @ti84satact12@ti84satact12Ай бұрын
  • My parents were amazing ❤ When I was a torrential teenager, one parent would take me for a long drive. We'd sit there, maybe make small talk, but eventually I would open up and talk about what was bothering me or on my mind, and it was my parents' way of reaching me & supporting me during a difficult phase in life. It helped in so many ways, and now I really strive to provide the same stability and nurturing for my two kiddos ❤🥹

    @Bobobaggins93747@Bobobaggins93747Ай бұрын
  • Jays questions were everything I wanted to ask. Amazing conversation 👏👏

    @sanag1050@sanag1050Ай бұрын
  • This was great advice, Parents and Children need it to have a happy and healthy relationship and live in a happy and healthy environment 👌❤🇿🇦

    @cher-ker@cher-kerАй бұрын
  • Ah! Jay's voice I guess I am the only one person who loves jay ' s ( legend 's ) voice ❤

    @VisionaryUplift-wx2sp@VisionaryUplift-wx2spАй бұрын
  • This is wonderful! Thank you Jay for making this available to all of us. Making our world a better place

    @anaavila2490@anaavila249013 күн бұрын
  • Thank you 🙏🏻 absolutely brilliant! ❤

    @margaretsmith1445@margaretsmith1445Ай бұрын
  • This was an enriching conversation. Parenting isn't easy. I wish there was more on this.

    @kaym.2854@kaym.2854Ай бұрын
  • Lots of nuggets in this for adults that don’t even have children ❤ Really enjoyed this

    @christinaroberts711@christinaroberts711Ай бұрын
  • The first 3 minutes of this podcast sounded like great information for how spouses should deal with each other as well. Clariy, presence , connection... ect

    @macleanclassics@macleanclassics13 күн бұрын
  • This episode is pure gold.

    @RebeccaKing-by7rm@RebeccaKing-by7rmАй бұрын
  • Thank you so much Jay🎉

    @BreeFitness.@BreeFitness.Ай бұрын
  • My daughter loves special time. It really means the world to her. It's just she and so I thought we had quality time every day but completely multitasking. We play whatever she wants and just hang out. Uninterrupted

    @finabc518@finabc518Ай бұрын
  • What an enlightening talk! And everytime you asked a question to the doc, I was like omg yes, even I wanted to know that!

    @eses99491@eses99491Ай бұрын
    • Yes!!!

      @JayShettyPodcast.@JayShettyPodcast.Ай бұрын
  • Jay, can I please just say that you are SUCH a brilliant interviewer! I am so impressed and I noticed that in all of your interviews, you are a great listener and ask sooo relevant and crucial questions, so thank you for that! ❤ keep up the amazing work🙏

    @anamaria3421@anamaria3421Ай бұрын
    • Yes he is a good fraud too

      @kelloggole5458@kelloggole5458Ай бұрын
    • He’s a prick look at what’s been published on the guardian about him. You should also watch his interview with Jada Smith that was a terrible interview.

      @Johnnyalanwrench@JohnnyalanwrenchАй бұрын
  • This was so good, I had to listen twice & share it! Thank you, Dr. Amen and Jay.❤

    @kellibarnes2371@kellibarnes2371Ай бұрын
    • Amazing! Thank YOU!

      @JayShettyPodcast.@JayShettyPodcast.Ай бұрын
  • I work at a psych hospital and the focus for treatment is always the adolescent. I always give them a list of YT channels, books etc for the parents. They appreciate it bc they don't know what to do.

    @xochiltrodriguez428@xochiltrodriguez428Ай бұрын
  • Gold, love what Dr. Amen says every time I listen to him.

    @sandyliu6264@sandyliu6264Ай бұрын
    • Same!!!

      @JayShettyPodcast.@JayShettyPodcast.Ай бұрын
  • Love Dr. Amen....book sounds great.....thank you for the great show.

    @justinamontgomery2618@justinamontgomery2618Ай бұрын
  • Thank You for sharing this conversation!!!! My ears are very grateful. ❤

    @whitneymoore9814@whitneymoore9814Ай бұрын
  • I have twin girls and from a very young age I used to give them a choice after explaining to them about the pros and cons of their options and allowed them to choose. They were always responsible for their own choices good or bad and they always chose the right ones almost every time.

    @anthanth8713@anthanth8713Ай бұрын
    • I have twin girls too can you give examples?

      @shelleynoonan1840@shelleynoonan1840Ай бұрын
  • My kids are 3&8 years old .thank you ..needed this

    @pepe340@pepe340Ай бұрын
  • This video made a memorable learning day in my life. Definitely I will raise better kids.

    @gkaur719@gkaur719Ай бұрын
  • This is the best episode soo far

    @nareshkumar750@nareshkumar750Ай бұрын
  • What a great interview! Love the questions Jay!

    @charlottedelamor7812@charlottedelamor7812Күн бұрын
  • The difficulty is for those of us who really have done all the things--not perfectly, of course--but when we have listened to all the advice, allowed the natural consequences, loved unconditionally, limited screentime, spent quality time with them, showed up for them when they need us, without making ourselves too available, allowed them to make their own decisions and stood with them through their mistakes, but the brain is not working right! So, we provide them with counseling, medical intervention, alternative health practitioners and methods, etc. and still, to seemingly no avail! Is there hope?

    @wb5408@wb5408Ай бұрын
    • Absolutely! Maybe you can glean some hope from knowing you’ve done everything you can do and you observe them to see what they are applying 🙏🏾

      @ashleythekidscoachblanco@ashleythekidscoachblancoАй бұрын
  • Ialways follow doc in you tube shorts,just a few months ago ,loved how he explains the topic

    @simmychua3026@simmychua3026Ай бұрын
  • I really enjoyed this video. Eye opening! Thank you for this.

    @iamDonareen@iamDonareenАй бұрын
  • This conversation really help me a lot!

    @gelias2961@gelias2961Күн бұрын
  • I truly believe in attachment!

    @Velaela123@Velaela123Ай бұрын
  • Oh, you mean the Brain Experts! They're a group of scientists and researchers who study the brain and how it works. They're super smart and have made some amazing discoveries about how our brains function.

    @DominionAnako-bb7ry@DominionAnako-bb7ryАй бұрын
  • Thank you for this podcast! It always hits. I needed to hear this ❤

    @mikaelabolinger9796@mikaelabolinger9796Ай бұрын
  • Such a valuable and great interview and Jay, you asked some really great questions.

    @toya7645@toya7645Ай бұрын
  • Legit running to get this book and I dont even have children. Learned so much from this podcast!

    @angiec3669@angiec3669Ай бұрын
  • Well done there Jay! The questions are fantastic! I think very parent gotta listen to this.

    @jespuvansingh2561@jespuvansingh2561Ай бұрын
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