How Narcissist, Borderline Morph Into Each Other

2024 ж. 26 Сәу.
19 329 Рет қаралды

CIAPS Appointment Letter / c6oggsom2af
Debate since the 1970s: NPD vs. BPD: progression or reaction? (Kerbnerg, Grotstein)
WATCH Borderline=Failed Narcissist: Intermittent Mother, not "Dead" (EXCERPT) • Borderline=Failed Narc...
Othering failure is a defense against the risk of acknowledging the superiority of other people.
By introjecting-incorporating idealized versions of others, the narcissist accomplishes two psychodynamic goals: 1. Self-idealization (self-idolatry); and 2. Avoidance of narcissistic injuries and mortifications, assertion of control and utter self-sufficiency, amounting to efficacious self-regulation (avoidance of the underlying Borderline Personality Organization).
Covert narcissism is an adaptation toa state of collapse, but the narcissistic dynamics and structures remain intact.
BPD is a failure to develop these narcissistic defenses. So, the Borderline is acutely dependent on other people for self-regulation (external regulation).
Being grandiose, s/he is also much more vulnerable to narcissistic injuries and mortifications.
Ironically, her constant emotional dysregulation is the outcome of her desperate attempt to avoid emotional dysregulation by depending on other people, her external regulators.
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...

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  • I often wondered how narcissism and borderline were two sides of the same coin, but you explained this beautifully. Congratulations on your extension at CIAPS!

    @maryvera123@maryvera12314 күн бұрын
  • This thumbnails are getting better and better... 😆

    @KunDziki@KunDziki14 күн бұрын
  • Now I understand why we both had so many similarities with covert BPD and covert npd. A superb insight once again. Thank you Sir..

    @Cold1412@Cold141213 күн бұрын
  • Man. You are hilarious. We love you Sam. Thanks for existing. Your work is so so so valuable.

    @thatbuskerguy@thatbuskerguy13 күн бұрын
  • hi sam, i just wanted to say that in part thanks to your lectures and what you always say, that the only way to deal with a narc is to go no contact, i am doing just that. before i found your information i never thought it was possible, that i would be forever stuck in that situation, but now everything is different so i am forever grateful for this accesibke information that u constantly put out

    @diamondedevil@diamondedevil14 күн бұрын
  • Thanks a lot, dear Professor! By the way, have you been following the streamlined trial in Kazakhstan? There has been an open process on the murder case, the accused is a Narcissist (he admitted to be one) who beat his wife to death and was indignant how dared she die and give him so much trouble. The peculiar thing about the case is that the murderer is a former minister of Economy of the state, K. Bishimbaev. Would be great if you cover that case as the jury + the judge are to make a decision and it's highly likely he will try to escape justice somehow

    @user-vi5ps4cb1g@user-vi5ps4cb1g14 күн бұрын
  • Amazing! The narc I knew would say exactly this. He would say he was having conversations with me in his head, he would always talk about the false self and how he idealised me and would then devalue me. He would tell me that he was my lord! The repeated explanation from you today Sam helps me truly understand this finally. He also forever told me stories where he was the hero.

    @lisafoster9190@lisafoster919013 күн бұрын
  • Congratulations on your continued professorship at the Institute. It seems like you're really thriving there, and the administration recognizes all you bring to the teaching role.

    @brandontylerburt@brandontylerburt14 күн бұрын
  • Best explanation of the relationship between Borderline and Narcissist. Prof Sam Vaknin Prophesies the most accurate information

    @Donken98A@Donken98A14 күн бұрын
  • This was explained so clearly, thank you Professor Vaknin !

    @lyndiacurtis2065@lyndiacurtis206513 күн бұрын
  • This makes perfect sense, I have seen this for myself with a family member, decompensate and regress to a borderline. Thank You Professor Vaknin.

    @LorraineMorsch@LorraineMorsch14 күн бұрын
  • Thanks for the info and my daily dose of emotional armour. Almost free🎉🎉🎉

    @awomen1072@awomen107214 күн бұрын
  • This is groundbreaking!! Keep up this necessary work!!

    @jamiebordelon7941@jamiebordelon794113 күн бұрын
  • Congratulations on your new appointment. All the best..

    @Cold1412@Cold141213 күн бұрын
  • I'm dealing with this situation right now- Vaknin, you seem to read my mind! Aaaaarrrrrggghhh

    @highlandsmokery8421@highlandsmokery842114 күн бұрын
  • This really helped me further understand narcissism and borderline. Thank you for posting this! ❤

    @annjohnson8437@annjohnson843712 күн бұрын
  • ‏כדאי למחוק את הכתובת שלך מהמכתב. אתה יודע יותר טוב מכולנו איזה משוגעים יש בעולם, בעיקר ברגע הזה… באהבה ❤

    @user-il6lh3oq7t@user-il6lh3oq7t14 күн бұрын
    • It’s an c/o address for his publications :)

      @vibra1562@vibra156213 күн бұрын
    • It is not my address. It is the address of my publisher.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin13 күн бұрын
  • Another professor vaknin classic

    @robertjames7859@robertjames785914 күн бұрын
  • Excited to learn about this! It could explain so many things about my ex that baffled me for years!

    @serfnterf5444@serfnterf544414 күн бұрын
  • Thank you so much Dear Professor Sam Vaknin❤

    @user-ju8fn8fu9s@user-ju8fn8fu9s10 күн бұрын
  • Mazel tov Professor! 🙌🏼 The explanation of emotional dysregulation and how it pertains to both personality disorders makes sense and I thank you so very much for the continued education I receive at your trusted school of mind. I am grateful for the insight/wisdom and seeing how it connects to my life is quite powerful. I will be very aware and able to verbalize my experiences with a therapist as I have never had any counseling, though I need it and I am ready. Thank you 🙏🏼

    @marnienowicki4077@marnienowicki407713 күн бұрын
  • I’m diagnosed as borderline, but I don’t understand this attribution that I supposedly feel and emptiness, I never feel lonely or bored , like I feel very entertained in my own company just as much as I enjoy others, like it feels fun if I’m alone and even better if other ppl I like are around. Could I be misdiagnosed or maybe my bpd is mild? Also I don’t engage in self harm and avoid the things that are bad for me like the plague. How can I know if my bpd was accurate or not?

    @cubanadiense@cubanadiense13 күн бұрын
    • @cub.... Maybe ask for things to be revisited diagnostically, or get a second opinion. Diagnostic knowledge is changing all the time.

      @glenyshill72@glenyshill7213 күн бұрын
    • @@glenyshill72 most def. Looking for a second opinion

      @cubanadiense@cubanadiense13 күн бұрын
    • Schizoid PD, not BPD.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin13 күн бұрын
  • Just wow!! Thank you

    @felou8369@felou836913 күн бұрын
  • Crazy you helped me understand my own album 😭a dead place where I’m the only one alive just made everything make sense

    @Imskyhighy@Imskyhighy11 күн бұрын
  • Thanks. Now I known 💚

    @izabelacyrwus7534@izabelacyrwus753414 күн бұрын
  • Thank you, Sam❤️ As always, in great detail) Please tell me, if the borderline was unable to form a narcissistic defense in early childhood, will it be able to form it as a physically adult person due to the severe pain experienced? and how long will it take for her to return to the borderline state or will the narcissistic defense remain with her forever and she will be able to return to the borderline level only after a collapse? (this question is related to the fear of losing partial empathy forever)

    @user-yi8cs5sb7f@user-yi8cs5sb7f13 күн бұрын
    • Borderlines revert to narcissistic and secondary psychopathic self-states, but these are transient.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin13 күн бұрын
    • @@samvaknin Thank you) ✨

      @user-yi8cs5sb7f@user-yi8cs5sb7f13 күн бұрын
  • I’m always reminded of the song How To Disappear Completely by Radiohead when thinking about narcissists as well as the flip side, their victims

    @tinasbeans@tinasbeans12 күн бұрын
  • Narcissism is usually an adaptation to a very competitive enviroment. It is easy to see in show business (Diva behaviour) because they have to compete for gigs and roles very often. That forces them to pretend to be the best all the time.

    @miguelags9514@miguelags95149 сағат бұрын
  • Professor Vaknin, do you know if a traumatic birth can lead to development of BPD traits/emotional dysregulation? Thanks for all the info you share in your videos, it really helps to make sense of things.

    @nighteyes5852@nighteyes585214 күн бұрын
    • BPD has a hereditary component. Search the channel for "brain".

      @samvaknin@samvaknin14 күн бұрын
    • I wish my late husband and I had had knowledge of all this.

      @glenyshill72@glenyshill7213 күн бұрын
    • A child can be born under the spirit of rejection or unwanted pregnancy.❤❤❤

      @teresadvorak6145@teresadvorak614513 күн бұрын
  • Congratulations professor.

    @deepsoulsurfer@deepsoulsurfer11 күн бұрын
  • I'd rather suffer aaaaaall the insuffferable pain than become "Him/Her".... P.S. Good luck to all of us, whoever we are.. 🌌

    @ineseverza1737@ineseverza173712 күн бұрын
  • How does this come into play when the narcissistic son’s mother is also narcissistic? Both are borderline? It’s like the mother & son are both emotionally married to each other - they form their own inner circle as husband & wife…stalking others even after 10 years, lying beyond imagination, belittling everyone, vengeful attitude claiming God “punished” the other person (who figured them out & left) for betraying the narcissist.

    @rk_777@rk_77713 күн бұрын
  • Thanks to Professor Vaknin again. The combining of these two etiologies makes plenty of sense. I have BPD,(likely the Covert Borderline organization that you described. I wonder, if the problem with "othering" in Narcissm could be linked to the problem of introjection in Borderlines. Could the introjection of others also be a solution that protects the Narcissist from the awful feeling of emptiness that has marked my suffering and left me dependent on either some chemical or some woman? The hole that my mother left roots and all when I was abandoned at 3 years of age. Could this also be the apparent difference in the self efficacy of many Narcissists that I have observed in comparison to me and my daughter who has BPD?

    @jerrybailey232@jerrybailey23213 күн бұрын
    • Yes. This is exactly what I have been saying: the Borderline's introject inconstancy is what gives rise to his/her sense of emptiness. Narcissism is compensatory: introjection and incorporation MASK the emptiness, compensate for it.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin13 күн бұрын
  • Love you Sam. What is love? Similar interests? Pheromones? Spirit? Pleasure? Peace? Entertaining stimuli? Loosing control? Parallel universe, I effectively heal through meeting you. Current universe, powerless.

    @HadleyMeredith@HadleyMeredith14 күн бұрын
  • Professor Vaknin, I have a dear friend who is clearly Borderline. And she is constantly Hoovered by her Narcissist male "friend" in an on and off relationship. My experience with her leads me to believe that she may also suffer from Bi Polar Disorder. Is this possible? Thanks, Bob Hazard

    @roberthazard5269@roberthazard52695 күн бұрын
  • The hands are very beautiful

    @viktorgornistov9836@viktorgornistov983613 күн бұрын
  • Dr....Look it up!

    @polyjb1@polyjb114 күн бұрын
  • Question Doc, when the collapse is intensional, and the covert Narcissist self-regulates. Is separating from every external object a way to push pause? Acceptance of others, but avoiding using others by choosing to be alone? Healthy, or not so much?🙂

    @CampChoctawVacationGirl@CampChoctawVacationGirl14 күн бұрын
    • Search the comorbidities channel for "schizoid". Collapse is never intentional.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin14 күн бұрын
    • Wow!😯 Thank you!

      @CampChoctawVacationGirl@CampChoctawVacationGirl10 күн бұрын
  • Maybe it's because I do have some emotional regulation that younger people wanna see how I blow off how I get punked Mostly I inspire them and so musicians adore me People say I am a queen but I don't wanna rule them They can grab a leash on themselves All life lives in my head Lotsa minds overlap mine We are all real

    @alexandriablack8042@alexandriablack804213 күн бұрын
  • How to treat or at least manage narcissism then.. 😢

    @gadohimself@gadohimself13 күн бұрын
    • Watch the therapies playlist.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin13 күн бұрын
  • Prof. Sam Vaknin, how do you translate that into behaviours? how do you recognize that the person is not interacting with the others but with just his internal objects or introjects?

    @PaulKellermanGiovanni@PaulKellermanGiovanni13 күн бұрын
    • Thanks for your videos!

      @PaulKellermanGiovanni@PaulKellermanGiovanni13 күн бұрын
    • Search the relevant playlists.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin12 күн бұрын
  • Are narcs aware of why they behave the way they do? ie all of the Dr's videos.

    @danmeck5978@danmeck597813 күн бұрын
    • Search the channel for "aware".

      @samvaknin@samvaknin13 күн бұрын
  • Would histrionic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder be different adaptations to the borderline base, or is it just borderlines and narcissists who share an initial borderline foundation?

    @aalves9453@aalves945312 күн бұрын
    • Only narcissism and borderline.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin12 күн бұрын
  • can you be a borderline to a narcissist and a narcissist to a borderline at the same time?

    @Nihal-oy2nf@Nihal-oy2nf5 күн бұрын
  • CONGRATULATIONS PROF DR VAKIN ON THE LETTER OF APPOINTMENT 🎉

    @chriskahlson@chriskahlson14 күн бұрын
    • Here is a psychological thriller movie I think you would enjoy (if you have not seen it already) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Snake_Pit

      @chriskahlson@chriskahlson14 күн бұрын
  • Under this theory, wouldn’t it stand to follow that a collapsed (“borderlined”) narcissist could be treated by DBT? Seeing as how outcomes seems to show that people with BPD have a high remission rate even in the absence of treatmentment. Would it be that once one has gone as “far” down BPO that narcissistic remnants linger only to rebuild themselves again following collapse (narc. scar)? I remember in a different video of you that (please correct me if I’m wrong) that DBT in a way gives people with BPD some narcissistic defenses to combat the emotional dysregulation?

    @JulieGottman-yh3of@JulieGottman-yh3of14 күн бұрын
    • No. Search the channel for "mortification".

      @samvaknin@samvaknin14 күн бұрын
    • @@samvaknin I’ll brush up again on that subject. Thanks professor.

      @JulieGottman-yh3of@JulieGottman-yh3of14 күн бұрын
  • Can you get adult adverse circumstances causing problems too like this,or is it only during the brain development stage.

    @user-dk6ro9bj2o@user-dk6ro9bj2o13 күн бұрын
    • Only ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). Watch the From Child to Narcissist playlist.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin13 күн бұрын
    • Thanks Mr vaknin. I've been watching your work for quite a few years now.

      @user-dk6ro9bj2o@user-dk6ro9bj2o10 күн бұрын
  • What do you think about Netflix movie Baby raindeer ? Is this an example of both cluster Bs ???

    @CarolineBolivar-ir5uz@CarolineBolivar-ir5uz12 күн бұрын
    • Among other mental health issues. It is not a movie, it is a series.

      @samvaknin@samvaknin12 күн бұрын
    • @@samvakninyes I stand corrected - the series - is it a good example of narcissists , Borderline and narcissistic abuse dynamics ?

      @CarolineBolivar-ir5uz@CarolineBolivar-ir5uz11 күн бұрын
  • Wow

    @vmw0710@vmw071014 күн бұрын
  • (INTERPERSONAL) disregulation personanaltity disorder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    @KN0132gman@KN0132gman14 күн бұрын
  • western political philosophy is explained in the middle of this video i will let others come to the conclussionw aht this means by themselves.

    @inkbunnybunny@inkbunnybunny11 күн бұрын
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