Own your face | Robert Hoge | TEDxSouthBank
Father, author of the book 'Ugly' and political advisor Robert Hoge explores why we all need to own our own faces. Sharing his own personal story, Robert examines, life, love, beauty, imperfection and pain in this powerful TEDxTalk.
Robert Hoge has worked as a journalist, a speechwriter, a science communicator for the CSIRO and a political advisor to the former Queensland Premier and Deputy Premier. While he never went far with his professional lawn bowls career, Robert did carry the Olympic torch in 2000. He is married and lives in Brisbane with an eleven-year-old daughter who thinks his Olympic torch would make a really great cricket bat.
@RobertHoge
@TEDxSouthBank
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
his dad is awesome. 6:28: "why would we risk our son dying for the pride of appearance..."
DAMN straight. I have a high level of respect for that.
Sang Nguyen That's because parents love you for you, not for what you look like- whatever your appearance is, you will always be loved
+Sam Works not her mom, she rather had a beautiful barbie girl
exactly. no force in the universe is as powerful as the unconditional love of your mom or dad.
his dad knew the right choice from the beginning. the mother was weak.
The way he stutters the part about his mom...you can tell it’s still painful
Madison Christenson he just has a stutter, but i don’t disagree
I stutter 😓
unkown u spelt unknown wrong
unkown same dude it sucks
His mom.... the way she treated him really rubbed me the wrong way. My mother abandoned me at age 3 and left me to my father to raise me, but what this guy's mom did is so much more painful. To even know that your mother contemplated those kind of thoughts is just horrid. By no means do I have a hard life like he has, my face is actually quite attractive to many women, so I've got the opposite effect. But, I feel so strongly for this man's past, I'm not usually one to shed a tear, but this man has had it rough and I respect him for taking life by the horns and playing with the cards he has been dealt. I pray that he has this kind of strength for the rest of his life.
"I didn't figure I'd necessarily ever be worth painting, but I was done with being the doctors canvas." -Robert Hoge Love this!
So many young girls need that.. so many naturally beautiful girls (and men i assume) are botching themselves with fillers and surgeries to look like a doll.. Roberts face is filled with just as much character as he deserves, things can still be beautiful even if not in a conventional way
He is worth painting too.
This hit me so hard. It did feel like the doctors were more exiting the fact that they were able to use him as a surgical test subject because of his deformity 🫤 story really made me sad. I’m not big in doctors, but this puts them on the same level as police in our current day. Painful to hear, but I am So glad he made it, he’s here sharing this information and his experiences with us today. 💯☮️❤️
Shouldn't you be spitting on people and ransacking malls?
@@CrashTestSkater its poor parenting. but these are the same parents that would ban a book rather than pay attention to the books their kids bring home.
The father loved him unconditionally. Visited him in the baby ward. Didn't want to risk his sons life with surgery. Man thats such a heartwarming thing, yet so heartbreaking that his mom didnt feel the same. His brother giving him the cinfidence he needed when he was 14 was such a touching moment. Robert is a beautiful person through and through. Id give up any semblance of good looks to be loved and cherished as much as he is by his family
His father definitely had loved him unconditionally with just accepting him how he is. It’s seems like his father’s life guidelines doesn’t include people’s opinions and the view that appearance has great hold on your life. It’s very admirable. I agree. But his mother might have been true in that regard of making her sons life a little bit better by choosing to go for surgery. Yes, it was risky but I’m sure she prayed for it to go well and had only good intentions. She might had known people’s true colors to execute such a decision.
We need THESE PEOPLE, not Kardashians...
Oh yeah yeahh - H*ll to the yes!!!! 💜💯
@@KJ99otis You are so right!!!
Truer words have not been spoken.
That's true
what is this comment
he does kind of look like a bad ass comic book character
greyson rhodes A Rob Liefield drawing
he kinda looks like the sand dude from spider man
Marv from sin city
I was thinking the same.
Haha dude I was thinking the same thing. This guy looks like a super villain! xD
He may not look conventional, but there's something really cool about his appearance. Excellent speech
because you have seen him before, wwf kane
@@VinayKumar123 Nope he is not Kane.
@Minisith Unknown of course he is not, resemblance is what I meant
He looks like a Orc
What you are saying is positive Lookism. Don’t you think that’s cynical?
I teared up when they had a family meeting about bringing him home, and how his siblings said yes. What a horrible situation, an innocent life being decided on.
Not horrible, it gave them investment in their new brother, that they chose him. It would be horrible if they'd rejected him.
What you just said iS why abortion is horribly wrong - an innocent life being decided upon by the less than innocent.
@@jerm2011 world is already overpopulated..dont need more unwanted humans being born
@@jerm2011 But you don't live with facial deformity. Not a problem for this guy, but many disproportionately suffer depression.
@@jerm2011wrong. Abortion is gods gift to mankind.
His face is surprisingly easy to get used to
Yes. But I think it is this way not because the way he looks but because the way he presents himself and behave.
Tqú Zonderclassaforsen how about before his surgeries
He reminds me of some fairytale character and loving fairytales i think what he looks like is incredibly cool
It's also because he looks so buff, got a Brock lesnar vibe from him.
Totally agree! After a few minutes of listening to his story and seeing the way he presents himself, you really stop beginning to see the deformity as profoundly as you did when you first started the TED talk. It's really telling: we judge people at first glance, and even though we know we shouldn't, we can't help it.
What's interesting to me is that after the first few minutes of noticing the uniqueness of his face it quickly fades and the person behind the face comes to the forefront.
You said it
ikr. thats so true man!
That's exactly what I said. I realized I didn't even notice his face as he continued his speech.
He is beautiful inside and out.
Exactly!
to be honest his photo as a newborn is so cute, if only people learned to see beauty everywhere..
This! He was so absolutely adorable I would have picked that baby up and cuddles kissed and loved on him so hard 🥹
Agree, such a sweet baby
OMG yes 💯 he would of never left my side!! beauty is on the inside ❤
He looked like a beluga with a melon 🥺.
@@spaghetto9836 🤍
This is easily one of the most powerful videos that you can find on the internet and should be shown to the kids in the schools so that they can start building their world view properly in their youth.
Yes absolutely
Totally agree kid today need this guy and his values more than ever
And then there’s people who get one pimple and start contemplating their entire existence.. Salute to this man. What a strong soul
Ey
I legit came here after watching your Kodak video
So I guess you got his in your recommendation too
BlackySpeakz what’s up! Folks who like real music appreciate this stuff too. Respect.
*NOW*
His story makes any issue I've ever had to deal with seem so trivial.
same.
N-word Jim he's dead bro. Better preach for something that makes something good for humanity instead of some meaningless dipshit that got crossed
Where's that love Jesus spoke so much about? You've got the speaking the truth part down, now focus on loving. Most people aren't going to read a youtube comment and change what they believe, especially if that comment contradicts itself (hatefully saying to follow Jesus, who is the embodiment of love)
Shhhhhhh. You are misrepresenting God with hate. God still loves him and wants good things for Him. What you're saying he is, a "worthless soul" is by it's nature against God's word. Do not be so angry and spiteful. For God is loving and patient. He calls us to be the same.
Agree with you! I have no idea where those guys got their facts but they are surely not from the Bible
it truly sucks that society today is still based off LOOKS and BODY SHAPE. instead of accepting for who we are or cannot control for how our body is shaped or born. so ridiculous. thank you so much for your TED talk. very encouraging on acceptance.
it's how our brains have evolved to work, aint nobody's fault
@@dumbodum Intelligent humans can overcome irrational/unhelpful instincts with logical reasoning when needed, enabling us to act appropriately to the situation. It's one of the perks of our species.
@@ShadowNinetales yea but you’re expecting too much from the average person
@@dumbodum True lol
It has always been like this, and it's only natural. Nature is just cruel.
He is such a brave man . Coming out on stage in front of an audience and talking of owning your face is a task that not everyone could do if they were in this guy's place.
Why is he brave? Do you have a fear of public speaking?...people who are disabled arent brave for living their lives like everyone does. I understand the sentiment and am not "offended" im simply letting you know that your comment comes off as patronising. He could be considered brave for surviving bullying, or speaking at a tedx knowing plenty of people will see the speech he gave especially if you are scared of public speaking. However he is not brave or inspiring for getting on the stage giving his speech because of his face and/or disability. The latter suggests that just because of how his body was made that he isn't capable of living a life just like you or anyone else and needs a pat on the head for simply doing his job. Again i have no malice this is simply me trying to help you see that your comment the way you phrased it is a bit patronising. What you do with this info is up to you. Have a lovely day.
@@anitacrumblyas a disabled person, i agree. Im not brave. My other option is to drop dead. I may as well accomplish the goals i can when i can. I dont need to, or want to, be told i am brave for having conditions i was born with. It is the only life i've known, and not a choice i made. Just because im not "normal" doesnt mean im gonna lay down and give up or try to make myself invisible. That isnt brave. Thats playing with the cards youre dealt.
And this comment, unwillingly, showed the whole problem perfectly. There should not be bravery included in going onto a stage when you don't look "normal".
I couldn’t do it with my face lol
@@kdizzle901I was gonna say the same thing
Thank you Robert, this 15 mins actually made me a better person.
GTiR23
lies
GTiR23 same
Same here . . . I'm going to get a nose job.
lol
he actually looks badass to me. Respect !
I was looking for a comment like this! He looks like a badass alien or lotr ork!
He should do some acting
yeah, he could probably be a memorable actor if he wanted, but the sad thing is most agencies would probably only cast him as a villain or monster.
Right on
I agree he looks badass. He reminds me of the picture of the Doom Guy in the bottom toolbar in the original game. It's a good look actually.
By half way in, I was totally over his appearance and could completely focus on his story. Then I realized the same thing happens when I watch a talk given by stunningly beautiful people. We are by nature driven to study faces. What this video taught me was it is indeed just a study, and only after the complete experience ends do we judge. And when we judge, it is the complete experience that we are judging.
You hit the nail in the head!!
Great comment
I honestly just think this fella looks really cool. It may be the wrong way to look at things but I genuinely find it so cool to see people who look unique. In a world where everyone is striving to look 'attractive' and often use extensive beauty routines that leave many looking very similar, I find it so refreshing to see people who do not adhere to the 'norm' and have their own identity. You're all beautiful in a way, you were born to look the way you do and that's something so very precious.
Same. In a way i'm trying to look at myself too and think more like "if not attractive i look at least cool and different". I don't have facial deformities but for example acne makes me feel like i look different even though its pretty common, but still. In a way i look at my acne (and other things, like body hair as a female) and think "it's something a bit different and cool in a way, if not attractive". Why would i want to look attractive, if i can look interesting instead?
Like honestly 😭🌻
Right like ... I'd love to have known the guy who was 'The Elephant Man' ... I bet he could've had an amazing humor and personality.
I like his voice.. I have studied vitamins and minerals... Especially in pregnancy.. Deficiencies cause sicknesses One major deficiency in birth defects is Folic acid in the early 1st trimester .. Before becoming pregnant..benefit to pay for a complete vitamin and mineral panel That is complete..Iron & B 12 is also very important ❤❤❤❤❤ God bless You all !!
I agree, he's actually a very attractive man, good strong jawline and very nice eyes
THIS is body positivity, not the kind of bs you see and hear all too much these days associated with the term.
Exactly!
You are 100% right
Totally agree. Body positivity should be about things you cannot change about your body, not being too lazy togo for a jog.
TheSaiyanKing You're disgusting.
Myishen Haines Truth hurts, doesn't it ?
honestly he doesn't even look bad. just looks a little unique. nothing wrong with that
He looks like a victim of modern medicine, his story fits the context of scars a lot better. At least thats the only way I can find to relate to a man whose face was cut open and stitched back together a couple times.
TheLethalKnife foreal like he looks normal as you see him more along the video and it's not even bad
He looks pretty badass.
Totally, in a world where every hipster with a beard looks identical, looking a bit different isn't such a bad thing.
Now - sure, but imagine how much pain he must've went through as a kid in school. Kids are fucking awful and do not understand how some people just can't control some aspect of their life, and they will bully everyone who looks or acts a little bit different. Cool that he found peace as an adult tho.
I have a boy with Down syndrome and he was totally undiagnosed. When he came, his mum and I didn't want to see him for the first day. It was hellish. We were both grieving for the baby we thought we were going to have. The second day, we put our pride to the side and went and saw him. 8 years later, we are both totally in love him him and look back to how selfish we were on that first night
I believe that every Down Syndrome child is more beautiful than the next. ❤️
Well done on making it past that first day. Glad that you guys are happy!
You had a natural human reaction and should never be ashamed of it.
@@leed4162 I'm not saying that reaction is abnormal or that there's no reasonable explanation for it, but I don't understand it in the slightest. It's a special needs baby, not a stillbirth. There's a lot of autism in my family, and I haven't heard of anyone in it grieving because the baby didn't come out neurotypical. We are still healthy, lovable, loving humans enjoying a good quality of life, just with our own especially unique ways of thinking - isn't it the same for people with Down syndrome?
@@ShadowNinetales The baby was undiagnosed, so the revelation at the time of birth must have come as quite a shock. The mother and father must have been so overflowing with hormones and emotions after the arduous process of childbirth that I don't fault them for needed time apart to process the sudden information. Down Syndrome comes with many challenges on top of the already challenging experience of raising a child. It must seem extremely daunting when its suddenly presented upon you.
HIS DAD WAS A REAL ONE
He may put humor about it, but I know and I can feel the pain he been through when he was younger
Yep like any of us can. The things said and done to us by others, especially our peers, are very affecting especially as impressionable children, and can last in our memories our whole lives. I'm no exception. :/
tall32guy do mdma therapy its mdmazing
I knew a kid when I was in middle school, couple grades below me. He had been born without a nose, and had gone through repeated surgeries to build one. You could tell his nose was flatter than normal, with a red line of scar tissue going down the center of it. He got bullied, by a couple specific kids I guess, because he looked so different. When I was in 10th grade (so he would have been in 8th grade by this time), I heard that one of the kids who was known to bully him had punched him in the face and broken his nose. The principal did nothing; she said they were boys just rough housing. I remember I got so angry, because I was bullied the entire time I was at that school, and she did nothing about that, either. I started walking down the block to confront her (she lived at the end of my street while I was in middle school), only to discover she had moved the previous year. I just remember how upset I was that day, and how angry for that kid I was.
@@scottcantdance804 i cant believe you did that to that poor kid
I feel it might be a tad short-sighted to say that you "know" the pain he's been through when he was younger - unless, of course, you are of a similar circumstance, in which case you can just ignore my comment.
He's not ugly at all. More like a star trek alien with a cool haircut.
He's owning that v neck too
Gargoyle Senior yeah I love his haircut
Gargoyle Senior He sure is haha
He sounds so chill and friendly too. Makes you want to have a convo with him or just hang out, talk about life
Gargoyle Senior Holy crap he should audition in that movie lol
It’s not the outer shell that’s important it’s the inner shell and this man has a beautiful soul.🙏🏼❤️
sure but when you get rejected even before people get to see who you are having a beautiful soul or not isn't even part of the equation
@@randomguy5189Then those are the not the people you should surround yourself with. If they're so quick to judge and reject all of you because of your face, are they really worth it ?
True , yet many are shallow and judge a book by its cover.
When all seemed lost, A father loved his child and did not give a damn what anyone else thought and as time went on he gained loving siblings that also did not care what others thought. Beautiful.
What would have happended if he hadn't had any siblings?
dude started life on hardcore mode and became a father, while i'm on normal difficulty and struggling to keepp a relationship smh
same
git gud
At least you achieved a relationship.
wtf he got with someone hahahaha
Thoticcus Prime why is that funny?
Honestly, the longer you look at him and watch him talk, the more normal he looks. You see under it really quickly.
Same here, I don’t even see the face as an issue after watching for some minutes. “Doctors Canvas” lolz 😂
From what I understand, I think that the way we perceive attractiveness, and the way we judge likeability, are controlled by the same part of the brain. So when we meet perfect strangers, we are predisposed to like or get along with those who are better looking. However, as we get to know their personality better, we perceive people that we like as better looking, regardless of how they actually look, and if we reeeeeaally don't like someone, we tend to notice more flaws in their appearance. So as you listen to this guy and you like his perspective, your brain will start to perceive him as better looking.
@@moderatesoprano9562 this sound very accurate, thanks for give me a new perspective of the beauty
Probably because your brain connects good characteristics with this face.
You took the words right out of my mouth. 💪🏽
As an aging woman slipping into invisibility, this talk really impacted me. After he spoke for about half a minute, I started noticing him as a regular person. I've decided I'm owning my face.
Yes this talk puts a new slant on us women entering elder years. I do avoid the mirror and look away quickly after the morning getting ready routine. I will give owning my face just as it is a try,
im 18 and invisible
You’re no where near invisible at all. Fantastic singer too btw !
With every word he spoke, he got more and more beautiful.
After 1 minute his face looked pretty normal to me...
My brother has a similar face, looks totally normal me.
I think he looks really friendly. I don't know why
I really like that the younger generation are much, much more tolerant than what came before them.
@@informitas0117 for the most part, and I think social media actually helps.. I love the channel SBSK but some kids can still be harsh with bullying and teasing..
Haifischneik what’s normal ?
I wish this man nothing but a lifetime of happiness and peace!
Jason Gafar same
Dr. Boom you're no better my friend. Using the "R" word is hurtful towards my son who has Cerebral Palsy and autism. Perhaps you've completely missed the concept of this man's message. Shameful.
dude he wasn't talking about the man in the video he was defending the man in the video dumb ass. Some guy called someone else gay in the comment section
No he probaby has not. Its just the issue of us human beings not being in controll of our feelings. And you are way older than me probably so you might now, hatred finds it way the easiest. sadly. Its the negativity in the air, the pain and the frustration of the sadness.
ugh, you could have wished for a normal face for him!
I am a person who only see my flaws when I look in the mirror. it's so bad that this man is so strong than most of us. this man is a true inspiration.
What amazes me so much about this vid is that ok, in the begin of the video I notice his face, but as he speaks and the story involves me more and more, I start not to notice his face anymore, but I'm caught more and more by how good is his speech and precise his voice, and by the end of this amazing story the face is absolutely normal for me. Anybody else? I would say his look is more cool than the average Joe. And how smart and courageous was he in his early years? This man is amazing and really touched me in the deep of my heart.
100% and these people like him are most of the time very interesting people
Heartwarming comment. People like you and Robert Hoge prevent me from fully losing hope in life.
"What is the point of having a beautiful face if you can't see it and be proud of it" -Robert Hoge's brother
Often little children are wiser than adults.
Profound and made me tear up a little when he said that. The truth sets us free and is the most beautiful and heart-moving aspect in life for me.
@@Dank_204 damn me too man not lying
@@marthas.4456 I don't think his brother was that young. His little sister was four years older than him and he was 14 at the time. Meaning that his brother would be at least 19.
"What use is it being pretty if he can't even see himself?"* but yes -Robert Hoge's brother
This man is free in a way that many people will never know.
100%
Is not as he had a choice he was born this way so treatment after another here just realized to accept his appearance . the society we live on is rough we will always judge others for the slightest things .Beauty is at the eye of the beholder not your self but when u accept your self is when you will be free to choose your path.
@@roadwariors7853 He had a choice. That's the whole point.
@@roadwariors7853 Dude... spelling and grammar. Your comment hurts my brain. Even your name contains a spelling error.
@@paddor looks like he proved one of his points though LOL we judge others for the slightest things
5 minutes into your talk, and I realised your face looked perfectly normal to me. I had a cancer removed on my nose a few years ago, it left a scare, but the cancer was gone. I owned that scare, it tells a story.
I am a 23 year old male (5'6") living with bdd. I used to hate getting my pictures taken, missing out on memories because I felt embarrassed that I'd ruin the picture and I can tell you from my experience, I feel my cope is helping others. I can't change who I am but I can change how I think. I've been getting closer to God and noticed my anxiety about my looks went down because I am too busy helping people. He also gave me confidence going to stores and I can honestly say the change in my self esteem made me realize looks truly don't matter it's all about confidence, not arrogance.
What is bdd.
"I was a grade 9 boy, the worst possible form of humanity" Senior quote material
This is kinda ironic for me since in my country a grade 9 is the highest grade you can get in your GCSE exams lol.
@sebbo Bro I only started revising today 😂. If we work hard I'm sure we can do well or at least pass.
@@demonrat3311 how'd you do?
@@bonniejunk I'm assuming they didn't have to do it because of lockdown lol
mata gee grade 9 means year 9 in this context
His parents are crazy. They had their children vote whether or not to bring their child home.
No they're not, I'm very sure many people would have an abortion if a child had these deformities. Nothing wrong with it, why bring a baby into the world who will experience more hardship, and cruelty in their first 10 years then people do in two lifetimes.
yeah, but the dad actually sounds like he really loved him. the mother sounded like a @ though.
Jason Piana but the baby was already in the world. It's not the same as choosing to abort. They voted on whether they would be the ones to 'deal' with his deformities. What was best for them was what they were voting on not what was best for their baby
First take into it that it was a different Time - Gender Eaquality was just brought up and the Hippie-Era just was fading. Also the integrative thinking towards challenged people was not the same as today. Then take into thought that everyone is affected if you bring someone "Challenged" (I really hate this word) into your family - it affects everyone, even the siblings. To ask them about their feelings about it and look at it in a more wideley perspective also prepares them for the coming life with the "different" Brother. As everyone in the Family is affected by this decision everyone should bring in his/her thoughts. Finally, you forget one important thing: The first Vote and the way of handling situations like this first Time was exactly the one as it was the second tim when he learned "to own his face". If his Parents had just decided without asking anyone else, his Brother would not had been present to make this remark which turned the tide - and mostly, with or without the Operation done, his life would not have that meaning as it has now.
Jason Piana I understand your point, why have to go through the pain of bullying, but you can always look at it as, he will grow up to respect himself and know he is different but still the same as everyone else
Unbelievably strong and courageous man, he’s a far more rare and more beautiful human being on the inside than you’d ever find amongst the popular and fashionable people considered ‘beautiful’ on the outside.
Can't stop crying: so much pain and suffering... and still a strong man with healthy soul. God bless you, my friend.
Kids...the baby's ugly...should we bring it in the house? What a Mother!
Dr. Zoidberg your comment is bad and you should feel bad.
KASA kasa it's a joke man. It was a joke about his name
His "younger" sister (who was somehow 4 years old) said yes to bringing home her 5 month old older brother
Luke Loveland I think he meant youngest of his other siblings
Life is magical
"I was a grade 9 boy, the worst possible form of humanity" I love his humor
I'm a boy in 9th grade and I can honestly agree
he really is wonderful :)
but his realness is truly impeccable
So true
omg I thought you said tumor that would've been bad
No one is happy with their face. Its yours though, so be proud of that!
God bless this brave man for speaking and educating us.
If you look long enough at anyone's face you will see the person behind it, it's beautiful
Why are you laughing then????
That's a lovely poetic philosophy. :)
So I stared at my mums face for 10 minutes and she thought I’m Going crazy .
Sometimes my boyfriend and I just look at eachother without saying anything. When I do this, to me he becomes prettier every second. It feels like I see what's inside him.
@@OP-hu7ve noobmaster69?
14:47 that painting is really badass
That looks like a photograph! That's insanely good!
Did you understand whether he liked it? I don't quite get what he means when he says that painter owned his face,because, at least, he didn't try to ditort it, to make it look more normal... I think this is a respectable image of this guy...
you're badass
reminds me of Trevor from GTA little bit
Yeah, I think his point was a little confusing with the way he said: "other people will try to own our faces". After listening to this the second time I think, he might have added "...and that's fine." or also "...although it's hard.". It's hard to believe that other people will be willing to accept our unique features and get to understand how they affect us. This is, I suppose, where this part is coming from.
Please consider: Perhaps don't look to places like Hollywood (and the mediums they obtained them from) for a hero, these super heroes they offer. Perhaps people like this amazing man is what an actual hero is...and the world sure needs heroes.
I loved seeing the portrait. It made tears spring to my eyes. By the end i am thinking he's handsome. Not farfetched.
People who embrace their insecurities are the strongest kind...
Literally
ROBERT ARE YOU ABLE TO DO LIVE VIDEO FOR ME JUST ASKING FOR REAL MONEY AND THE FANCYFACE
@@christinainezbrisbo7264 tf?
💯% true. To realise this takes a lifetime and practice it takes few more for the most.
I have embraced my awesome cankles as a slimmer person!!!!!!!! They are hilarious!
Every face is pleasing when you love the person behind it.
❤️🙏
That's just warm sounding bul... nonsense.
He loves the person he is behind the face
@@user-qe6rp9dt5f I don't think it is bul.... nonsense. Think again and really good this time. You can do it.
My very first love was handicapped, with slight facial deformities, he was the most beautiful human…Bryan was his name, unforgettable first love.
A solid message to hear as I am aging. I don't always like looking at the changes in me, I was attractive when I was younger and that has faded. In the end though, I have earned every last imperfection, it's all how you look at it. What an inspiring talk and message!
Yes, at 63 I'm not the hottie I used to be. But I can think of many things worse than getting old...like dying. I'm going to age as gracefully as I can. And accept every wrinkle and gray hair. It comes with the territory.
I bet you are still attractive, maybe in another way
Those aren’t wrinkles!!! Those are military stripes of victory! You are an over comer - you have cried, silently & then maybe not so much so. But every battle life has throw at you, you have won & become stronger with much more character
@@miapdx503, indeed.
Since this post, my middle aged paranoid schizophrenic homeless son passed away from an accidental Fentanyl overdose. We tried to get him to seek help, we couldn't force it. I look and feel like I have been by a train now. I guess the lesson learned is to appreciate where we are at the moment, it can always get worse in the blink of an eye.
After seeing that photo of him as a baby, it's heart breaking to imagine that poor little guy all alone in the hospital with no visitors. 😢
The sad part isn't really about how he, as a baby, was left alone in the hospital room, because a baby doesn't even think of what people really are, but the sad part is that he had to receive the information that as a baby he was treated like that
Wrz2e joe mama
I honestly cried looking at your comment
@@peratattica I just wanna see his mom with a straight face saying this
Alessasso π danger or knowledge, that’s deep
Didn’t plan to watch the whole thing but god damn this guy is a great speaker
Same😤
Me too
Hardly... keeps stuttering and needs to drink some water, keeps smacking his tongue...
aprilblenk same haha
@@user-tr2dh4xx6u omg I can't stop hearing the tongue noise now whYYY
i am just a tennger , I have scars on have of my face and it's hard sometimes to face the world because it's soo judgemental i thought i was the only one but this video makes me feel so blessed to look different and stand out.
Then run with it and have a great life 😊
This is what bravery and courage look like in real life.
I have no legs too man. I got in a bad accident and lost them about 7 years ago just before my 21st birthday. I’m grateful I got to keep my face. This video is very inspiring to me god bless you bro.
Rome N stay strong brother
May Allah bless you with inner peace and strength. I wish you the best! Allah Is with those who are patient.
and God bless you too Rome N
Rome N lol at first i was sorry for you, but when i saw the videos you liked, i thought, better you than someone useful/with a working brain😅
@@jimpanse4216 And everyone else agrees that your the worst type of person above all. What difference is it to you what he likes? Judgemental to satiate your insecurities. Not bright enough to see the bigger picture.
As a Firefighter in New York I was burnt down my face and head... Thank you for this video.God Bless you.🙏
Jim Morrison God bless and heal you. May you receive strength and grace each day to live and overcome every challenge in Jesus name.
God Bless you. Keep strong
you’re a hero
@@wokeupnew omg thankU but nooo i was doing my job. I know the hazards of my job and I chose to do it because I love it..god bless U!!!
You have amazing courage and strength. May your life be full of happiness and blessings. Thank you for what you do.
it's genuinely poignant how held back we are by this very issue. it is superficial entirely, yet it prevents so much progress for us to suffer through these insecurities.
what kind of specific progress are you talking about?
As I was watching this I realized this man became more beautiful as the video progressed. He is strong wonderful example of how you can change your life for the better. I commend this gentleman on his accomplishments. Good for him.
This man had a wonderful caring father who didn't give a damn about what people thought. Well done Dad
It is easy to say this, but it's another thing when you become a bully of the entire world, or when you see your son being bullied...
he can act like he doesnt care, but the truth is he does BUT he`s living with it
@@lavieja7938 exactly, its unavoidable
Well his dad Just had the courage to live with his son not having any surgery at all. That attitude matters when you have a weird looking baby.
if thy said no tough for him to bring home
*What a strong man. I cant even imagine what he must have gone through. What an inspiration.* And im sitting here being insecure about minor things like my not perfect nose. Pathetic.
Mrmaxmaxl “You don’t know what you’ve got, till it’s gone”... I used to be a neurotic as well till my health went way downhill in 11th grade, now being able to live is a blessing. It’s all perspective, wish you all the best!!! ✌️😀
Relax boy don't let media to make u feel insecure..write your own story.!!
Mrmaxmaxl same I was thinking about my couple extra kg of my body
me too brother
I love crooked or slightly big noses on men wayyy more than 'perfect' noses. I have a tiny nose so I love when a guy has a nose with character 😁
We all looks like same , but he is the unique one. what an great achievement for him.
What a strong mind, he calls it out all too well. Society gets so encumbered by the superficial visual elements of people which inevitably means in many cases; People will disregard others, missing out on the ability of seeing what the "PERSON" has to offer, creatively, intellectually, socially and emotionally. I love this video and the strength of this man's character.
Sometimes I think, how would we be, how different would life be for humans if we were all blind. (And we could get around by feel, if you wanna address the nitty gritty) But really, how different is a blind persons life because they aren't disturbed by their own or other's appearance(s). And yes, we would miss out on so much beauty, esp in the natural world.
@@kateingram6987 But if everyone was blind, wouldn't how someone's face feels, the sound of their voice or something like that just become the new beauty standard?
@@AlexanderNash You're probably right, and I'm sure some blind people are probably superficial in other ways - they're still human.
I got choked up when he spoke about his siblings voting to keep him. Children are incredible.
That one line gave me so much hope
I mean, most siblings would do exactly the same.
I mean, only if they have tegridy’ they wouldn’t do it without no tegridy’
@@josephw.pironti6776 Integrity
Naw bro tegridy
"what use is it being pretty if he can't see himself?" that, is pure wisdom coming from a teenager.
I practically cheered when he quoted his brother...
Yes
that the others can see it and you get the halo effect and people treat you better, get jobs faster, get love and friends faster, get promotions etc faster
@@eskabanofficial not when he's blind lol
Its not for yourself being pretty but for other people to have a better altitude and treat you better
"Understand all the love, and the life, and the pain that is part of your face". Powerfull testimony. God bless this man and his family 🙏
Brave soul, good heart, all the best wishes to this lad.
I'm glad his mother eventually came around and all, but how bout giving some kudos to the Dad for loving his son unconditionally from the start!!
his mom sounds really mean. i don't want to judge too much but wow.
Society says otherwise. Dads ftw
Dads always got your back. Even if your wrong
It was the same for my dad.
@@josie3221 Everybody reacts in different ways. People are not inherently good or bad. I can understand how a mother may initially feel totally disconnected from such a child. It was totally unexpected.
The reason why I clicked on this video? Not a model asking you to love yourself.
I agree and disagree. The biggest obstacle in the room is being graceful. The most attractive person in the room poses as many threats as the least attractive in the room. You don't know what extreme credibility you've lost until you've commanded attention for so long. If only it were as simple as owning your face. A lion doesn't have to say hes a lion because he trusts himself to be a lion. More importantly he trusts you to be prey regardless wgat his face looks like when its time to mate lead or eat.
@Хулан Эрдэнэбаяр you can actually mix up any word, given that the first and last letter are correct and your brain will put them in the correct order and allow you to read it.
I 🤔wonder if anybody clicked on it because they are tired of governments ordering people to wear sheep masks🐑😷
@Хулан Эрдэнэбаяр we know you are a girl, but can you just leave it
@@abfree5501 No. Just you.
Man, I REALLY needed this story. Salute to this man.
"Racing faster and faster just to stand still". This man has bars. Gold.
His confidence makes him attractive.
Indeed it does.
agree
Confidence is key
Why is everyone calling him attractive? He is literally trying to tell you that looks aren't what makes you a good person. But here you are complementing his looks out of all things.
@@pineappleflow2876 How you carry yourself, the way you act, and the way you speak, all contribute to your appearance. It's not just your face.
"i was a grade 9 boy, the worst possible form of humanity" Being a "grande 9 boy" i agree completely
What is a grade nine boy? I am curious now.
Sayam Qazi Someone who is in year 9, third year of highschool.
Grade 9 is not the third year of high school, it is the first year. Grade 11 is third year.
Marie B. 7 first year, 8 second year, 9 third year. Don't know if you noticed this but Robert is not a Yank. You're so confidently wrong.
Mack Teen 9th grade is the first year
What incredible resilience. I'm sorry that life has been such an uphill battle for you, Robert! In this talk, you've taken your greatest liability and made it an asset for all of us. This is amazing.
A really beautiful man. I appreciate you
Can we appreciate how great his speaking is? His voice and confidence and everything
I was about to comment the exact same thing.. but u where first ❤️
I was thinking the same while listening to him
Absolutely
You can learn that in a Speech class.
Absolutely. Love his perfectly appropriate humor as well.
Looking at the painted portrait that was done of his face, he looked like a Roman emperor that won the war with battle scars.. A leader..
He's a leader to me.
It's a good point though. Since yer man here was born with this predicament it is seen as an 'abnormality', but if he was like 'yeah I look like this 'cos I fought off 50 Spartans' people might be inclined to think 'this man is a super human fighter'. Which he actually is.
How true!
Yes!
@Diamond Life ; I did too, it struck me as totally on point.
How inspiring. I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Лишний раз убедилась в том, что когда человек красив внутри, он воспринимается красивым внешне и наоборот. С удовольствием бы общалась с таким сильным человеком в жизни.
He’s married and with an 11 year old daughter actually! So happy for him ❤️
nice
I am not surprised at all.
@@HerbertMAK then get lost and gap hard
Awwww 🥺🥺🥺that’s good to hear.
I dont wanna be that one guy but does she get the same deformity as him?
Honestly, he seems like a really cool guy and his personality completely overcomes his appearance in my opinion.
Sadly judging people by looks and not by character is human nature.
+I4mLegend I beg to differ, sir. Unless we've been brought up to judge people in that way, we won't tend to do it. If we are in fact brought up that way, once we're old enough to think for ourselves we can change that if we choose to and see the equal beauty within everyone
People will always feel more safe and welcome around people who look alike. For example with animals that is important because if offspring looked different that is most likely because of genetic mutation which, in most cases is not helpful.
You're right. I was so captivated by his personality, that i completely forgot about his looks after a few minutes
That's what I thought too.He looks like a pretty cool guy despite his face.
What an amazing man...look at how far you come and your words are so powerful.
Absolutely incredible, I really like how you express what happened and how to be more comfortable in your own skin. Incredible and powerful!!!
"Im done being the doctor's canvas" *Fukin Powerful*
Thanks for the insight John lemon
Thanks for the insight John lemon
Lemon
John
Lemon
Who votes this down. This man has survived more than most of us. Incredible story.
And look at how many down votes! What's wrong with people??
some people using smart phones accidently click on the down votes while trying to scroll atimes.. or maybe he has enemies too you never know
Or maybe some PC people think this is exploitation...
People with perfect faces realising they have it easy?
false statement
Helping humanity :) Amazing talk and thanks for sharing! Message is still making impact years later.
Beautiful bro. How lovely his voice is then
His face isn't ugly or sad. What is sad that he had an illness and his parents even allowed a thought of leaving him
MsJeniferDilan his face is ugly stop lying dude..
MsJeniferDilan I agree with you but there is something kinda funny about the fact your profile picture is leather face haha
MsJeniferDilan his mom is the ugly one
Agreed, the mother /is/ horrific
He's asking you not to pretend he's not ugly. He's talking about embracing what you are... Dude, the sentiment is very 'nice' but it goes against what the guy's saying to you. OWN YOUR FACE, NOT DISOWN IT Moron
It astounds me that the brothers and sisters at their young age were more humane than his own mother.
Let's face it. Most prejudices are learned by children . . . from their parents.
Yeah because they haven’t been tainted by the cruel ways of humanity yet. They’re still somewhat innocent. It’s when they hit middle school is when it all starts... Let the jadedness commence!
Yes.
Adults have been conditioned. Children have no bias
The brothers and sisters wernt in the same position as the parent
Wow what a story. Thank you for sharing it with us!
Loved every second of this inspirational talk, what an incredible story. Thank you.
Finally, it’s not a model saying to you love yourself. Edit: Don’t get me wrong I just don’t see a lot of these videos. It’s usually the other way around.
BelieveInTheHype righhhtt
underrated comment
Your comment deserves more recognition cuz models whoever already confident because of their looks can never understand how it feels like being insecure about your face and stuff! But this guy legit giving his ounce of confidence to everyone around him! His personality is ✨lit✨
@DarthVader I mean, it doesn't make their message less valid though no? Would you rather them go around bragging about how beautiful they are?
@DarthVader Ah, I see.
"and they sat around the kitchen table and voted if I should come home" jesus.... this poor man, and yet he displays such stoic strength
yehnahyeh He's tried in fire
stoic? he seems incredibly emotionally intelligent to me
I'm impressed that he doesn't tear up just by saying that out loud. How horrible
@Wim True, I haven't noticed
When you think about that kinda thing over and over throughought your whole life it no longer upsets you.
That was deep & powerful. Glad you've overcome the pressures and anxiety that come with appearance.
Absolutely superb portrait. Hats off to the artist.