How To Tell If Someone Truly Loves You | Femi Ogunjinmi | TEDxXavierUniversity
Is proclaiming your love for someone truly enough? Femi Ogunjinmi brings to light what fully constitutes an enduring, fulfilling relationship through his engaging experiences. Femi Ogunjinmi, mostly known as Gfem is a certified life coach, international relationship coach, award winning motivational speaker, and a radio talk show host who has been improving the lives of singles and couples for over ten years. He has authored two edition books titled, "Revelations of Relationship: What you don't know about finding true love and sustaining relationship." Femi earned his Bachelor of Science degree in Biology from Morgan State University and a Master’s Degree in Business Administration from Benedictine University with a Certificate in Financial Management. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
If they love you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused
natalie I’ve been confused about what he really feels deep down. I kept giving myself excuses on how it can be difficult for someone to open up as long as I could. I guess this confusion is indeed my answer.
So true.
Amen.
@@virajsoni4303 be with someone who equally loves u
E. D some people are just so toxic. They neither want in nor out. They want to stay within your energy and just keep taking. It is so important to recognise, the feeling of desperately wanting to be with someone is so manipulating, it basically shuts out the rationale side of your brain. Never trust your feeling, only intuitions.
Actually watching this to see if I'm properly loving others.
Me too!
Mee two
Hahah
Right lol
Wholesome af
"I now see that goodbyes are for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with their heart and soul there is no such thing as separation" - Rumi
Beautiful
❤
❤
So profound.... ❤ Thx, mate 🫡
When you truly love someone, the idea of cheating already made you feel disgusted.
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I remember telling my boyfriend at the time every time i had a cheating dream i told him & said i felt really guilty. But then later on, after our breakup, he told me he cheated on me 3 times right at the beginning of our relationship
The thought alone should make you feel guilty if you’re a half way decent bf/gf
Today, as you go out, you shall be blessed. You shall return with great fortunes. Your coming in shall be fulfilling. Morning will work for your good. My prayer for you this day is that before you call one, hundreds will arise to favour you. I see people falling over themselves to divinely favour you. As you keep trusting the Lord, He will favour you and elevate you to heights beyond your imagination Have a super pleasant day. message me on WhatsApp +2349157547182 I have a surprise for you God bless
When we love someone, cheating generally doesn’t cross our mind in the first place. However, in hard truth, there are things that can happen that will cause the best person to fall to cheat. When there are severe adverse circumstances that have taken place, especially for a prolonged period, a fall is absolutely possible. Anyone is capable of this fall under particular dire circumstances due to human fallibility, the sheer complexities of human psych and emotions that can surprise us. We’re pushed out of our normal morale. Matter of fact, observing one’s sentiment “after”cheating can be a true tell tale that we actually do love our partner, remorse, regret, and guilt, paired with an inner sadness over whatever it is going wrong in our relationship that led to the tricky door of cheating. “If things are that awry why not leave?” Because many times it’s not that simple, and it would take a book to write all the reasons and scenarios of why. Also, people should note there’s a difference between “love” and being “in love”. They’re not the same. Love is on a strong foundation. “In love” is infatuation. Love does not easily walk away. Infatuation does.
"He says he loves me but his actions don't show it." That speaks volumes.
Glad that resonated with you. We often say so many things that we don't mean or perhaps do the opposite just like the case I mentioned. I appreciate your comment on my talk. Is there anything else that jumped to your mind from my talk or any relationship question you have that I can address?
Actions always speak louder than words! Also, when you tell the truth, you don't have to have a good memory! Thanks to Judge Judy for that one!
@@Gfem01 i really want to but i think i wanna figure it myself.
Everything resonated with me. Everything! The love styles, the cheating, the three things that breaks up a marriage (which by the way were all of them in my case), the sacrifices, the passionate love. Just last night I made a huge list of all of his behaviours that do not show that he loves me and I couldn't believe that there was so many. There weren more reasons to be apart than (and without listing them) there ever could be to stay together. This video confirms and affirms my list. I needed to hear this. I'm ready to hear this. Any sooner and I would have ignored this video. ♥️
It’s all about commitment
When I'm in love with someone I simply can't cheat. My whole being wont even allow it. The thought of it litterally makes me ill.
Davis Davis same here
Same I can't even imagine
I think I really needed this. But if anyone here can give further advice please... So I'm in love with a boy and he used to say he loves me back. But we hardly ever meet because he is so focused on his studies and work... He says his studies will stay always in his life while a girl comes and goes and he doesnt know( although) he hopes that we stay together... So the thing is that he doesn't spend time with me and when he finally did he was looking at the phone often and I got a remark which was quite jealous and he just got fed up with me being jealous but I cannot be not jealous when I hardly see him. .. I need him and I get so many tension during the week that when we finally meet I just cant be happy .. I want him to stay in my life but he doeant seem to make a little sacrifice to give me time
@@maikentiits2942 thank you ... You must be right
THIS!!!!!😍😍😍😍👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 I'm so happy to know ppl like u still exist.
I don't want to date a guy who feels like being faithful is a "sacrifice"
You can hear him moaning to his mates .....she doesn’t appreciate all the sacrifices I made when I married her ...wife struggling with kids, job home etc says ... I wish to ##@@ you hadn’t bothered
Thankyou! If he didn’t do it because he wants to do it for himself then I don’t think I could accept that. He says his intentions behind it are because he loves her, But now he has to spend his life truly lusting after other women, wishing he could be with them, and feeling shame and guilt for it because it’s something that he didn’t give up willingly, he was basically put into a corner. If a man wants a Polygamist or open relationship, there are Women out there who will Oblige
exactly...and same goes for a girl too
He is probably a narcissist..!!
Good luck with your cats then.
He's literally so intelligent and unbothered that it doesn't even even matter if they cheer him on. The man knows himself. I'm a cheer leader!
Second that.
Of course we can’t hear the audience cause only he has a MIC! People don’t think these days I see now
@@queenv777 it might be having no audience at all, as it's pandemic
I too second that
@@queenv777 uhhhh...I could hear the audience responding in another video....
“If you loved someone would you cheat on them?” Audience...........cough
Kozmnavt that was hilarious
😂😂😂
In relation to that question, it baffles me when people say... "I love him/her but..." and then proceed to explain or do things that are the opposite of love, such as: lie, cheat, manipulate, etc. I think the biggest issue is that people DO NOT truly understand the definition of the word love. My measure for love is 1 Corthians 13:1.
Lol
I heard that as soon as I read this 😂
Legend has it, there was no audience.
😂😂😂😂😂
😂
*Just a guy with cough 😂
You're deaf.
Roxy Lipz you’re a little too serious my guy lolll
Love is not something you find. It's something you grow.
This is so true
love is a seed you find and thereafter nurture to let it keep growing and be healthy
you have to find it to grow it...
😊
@paulokula9177nah!😂
To all the hopeless romantics: You will have true love one day! Know your worth & refuse to settle for less. You are worthy!💕
Amen
Thank you For the words It was needed
I feel like it’ll never happen from where I’m looking at. After the heartaches I’ve experienced, my heart is very very guarded.
😀❤️
Welp. I'm 43 and have cats lol. Too late for me!
Love without passion is like a body without a soul. I felt that.
I read your comment exactly at the time he said it.... that was crazy. Must have been a sign for me!! Just had to say that.
@@TC_318 I did, too.... I came to reply saying that it happened to me and apparently i wasn't the only one... I'm mind-boggled.
Like a car without an engine. There's no movement. He had to be quoting some old school rnb lyrics
Yep,but passion has to be chosen to go for the long haul. It sucks when a husbands love is not as powerful as real
@b müller ,I agree. Passion is important but not the most important. A parent doesn't "passionately" love a child, a family member or a friend doesn't need passion to love. That's how long term love becomes. Although passion can be worked on when the bedroom gets dull. It goes up and down,comes and goes,while love stays.
Cheating is being normalized. I don’t like it.
@ Justin Gary Well said!
They call it polyamorous now and pretend it's ok. Its terrible for all people involved.
SERIOUSLY THOUGH!!!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Truth hurts, men: I’m a man it’s apart of are nature.. and it’s more women to men women: I had to forgive you 6 times for cheating, pay back a bit........ 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
And sometimes I get like, " If you cheat on me as I am your wife- THAT'S your life..."Do not risk it.
The worst is when ur the one who is passionate and sacrificial, they take you for granted and use you...😔😔
It should be mutual isn't it...
Sad part
And that's why you have to walk away believing you will surely find someone who love you passionately.I have not found love but I hope I will someday
Yes I have loved him for 23 years and been loyal all the time even though he never loved me back and I now am suffering from PTSD because I have to face the fact that he was just using me all these years!
Today, as you go out, you shall be blessed. You shall return with great fortunes. Your coming in shall be fulfilling. Morning will work for your good. My prayer for you this day is that before you call one, hundreds will arise to favour you. I see people falling over themselves to divinely favour you. As you keep trusting the Lord, He will favour you and elevate you to heights beyond your imagination Have a super pleasant day. message me on WhatsApp +2349157547182 I have a surprise for you God bless
This man's skin is absolutely stunning!
I had to rewatch in 1080p haha!
This audience was so dry. They just don’t like to hear the truth. Bet all the cheaters in the room were really uncomfortable.
cambria moore 🗣Exactly
cambria moore 😂 their empty soul was like, “love? What’s that? I thought this Ted talk was about LUBE”
1.B-efore i met you 2.E-verything wasn't as good as it is now 3.S-lowly our frndship began 4.T-hrough thick and thin you'll still be my frnd 5.F-orever 6.R-ich or poor 7.I-will always love you 8.E-ven if we sometimes fight 9.N-ever forget that 10.D-eath do us apart 11.S-ecret keeper of mine mention that bestie and make them feel very
T Brenneman 💀😂
cambria moore 😂😂😂 so true
RESPECT is what keeps a relationship beautiful even if love fades.
Felicity Joy if you don’t love you don’t respect
@@yumigonell8023 not true. There are a lot of people I do not love but I respect deeply.
To a man, RESPECT is Love.
Kachikikari 82 I believe this is the other way around. Why even think about love without respect? Can you even get there?
true
if you truly love someone, you would never even fathom doing something that would hurt them in any way possible.
so i am assuming you are not referring to cheating... no one is in their right mind when "cheating", or thinking about hurting someone. put the shoe on the other foot.. a woman spends too much money on unnecessary items at the mall, causing financial harm to the couples future for the 10th time.. after several discussions with her partner.. is this not cheating.. this response was wrote in assumption...
@Magnificently Fruity Star Power wqqq
@@cliftonhunter7423 Your talking as if all women like to waste their time at the mall or only use their partners money. Most women have their own money today and can buy whatever they want.
Today, as you go out, you shall be blessed. You shall return with great fortunes. Your coming in shall be fulfilling. Morning will work for your good. My prayer for you this day is that before you call one, hundreds will arise to favour you. I see people falling over themselves to divinely favour you. As you keep trusting the Lord, He will favour you and elevate you to heights beyond your imagination Have a super pleasant day. message me on WhatsApp +2349157547182 I have a surprise for you God bless
@Magnificently Fruity Star Power I
Real love starts after the honeymoon phase is over. I've found that real love can be seen after both of you break each other's heart. If both of you come back after your heart was broken, then you'll know it is meant to be. Everyone always thinks they'll never make mistakes, until the day they do. No one is perfect.
Love this.
I needed this. My girlfriend of 5 years ended things a few days ago and I am destroyed. I have hope that we will be together again and I’m just trying to be patient and trust the best thing will happen.
I don't believe in the honeymoon phase... Myself and my partner have been together for 6 and a half years now and if it is a thing then we are still in it 😍 it is the only true love I've ever found/developed relationship wise... None of my exs could ever match up at all to my current man!
@@alecedmisten7639 thats some false hope ngl like 99.9% of couples don’t get back together. I think you should try your best to focus on what happened, learn from it and grow into your next relationship down the line.
Saw this somewhere Goes something like this: A successful marriage is made up of two good forgivers.
Everyone was so quiet because he has a very calming presence and delivery. Awesome points!
I think so too! Sometimes when you listen attentively, you do not laugh at jokes coz you might just miss something important
idiotic comment. his message is nothing but common sense ... so mediocre like a child's IQ
In my opinion, it doesn't mean they couldn't have laughed. It's as if he were speaking to a bunch of robots. They had no sense of humor. They were too focused on his accent.
@@projectikamva facts
Alexis Martinez 👍🏼 ☮️ 💙
first thing I noticed starting this vid was his glowing, flawless skin 😭
Cindy Nguyen I saw it too , you are right
I swear I got so distracted couldn't listen anymore ahaha
Ina Sincer
All this melanin. I've never clicked so fast. Lol!
Me too!
When he said: Sacrifice; I smiled from hear to hear. For love is, serving one another. What a Real Love God has for us!
Ear to ear
"When we examine love in a break up I believe one of three things has happened. It’s either one: There was no love at the beginning of the relationship to start with. Two; there was something bigger than the love that broke the relationship, or three. The love declined." SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
@@patriciapatfamily6605 When did anyone ask
😂😂😂
💯
Addiction is a larger outside factor
l HEARD THAT! LOUD AND CLEAR 😁
He has a beautiful message and voice. To the audience, If I want to be alone I'll call you guys.
Lmao
Lol 🤣
❤️😂😂😂😂
Exactly. Perhaps, they were just mesmerized by his voice, as I was, tho'.
🤣🤣🤣😂
The guy is hilarious. How brave to keep going inspite of the audience.
Shakita Jones I wish he would’ve farted or belched or something. The audience is on mood tranquilizers
They laughed around 4:20 at McDonald’s joke.
I noticed too. Haha how embarrassing for him.
The worst audience ever.
jerri taylor... omg 😂
Real love does not decline, if it does, it was never there in the first place.🥺
If they truly love you, you will know it and you will feel it! If they have the desire to make you happy and the ability to do so, putting your happiness above their own, then that is true love. If they are kind and compassionate, respect you and take the time to listen and try to understand you, that is true love. Being with you for who you are and not for your money, looks, power or status is true love. People who marry only for money, looks, power or status and not love have about as much chance of staying together as me going to Scotland and seeing the Loch Ness monster!!😆
😂
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
He did a really great job if you ask me. I don't know what happened to the audience just dull.
Idk how he managed going through the entire talk with such a boring crowd. Sheesh
Yes dead...
It's a seeming inability by the audience to embrace and support a person's work and valid, wise message. Why? He looks and sounds different than the majority of authority figures in mainstream media. A bias, if you will. Just is.
They must've edited out the sounds
I think they're so quiet because they are so focused on what he's saying. Plus he has a calming voice
I love how he said multiply the cheating times two. Its cause you're not just cheating on your girl/boy you're also cheating on your self.
Oof.
Ya but he means it for real too. If a guy says he cheated 2 or 3 times you have to multiply by 5 lol I'm half joking 🤣
It's also because you may not know the other 4 times he may have cheated.
mugenyi priscilla why do you presume the cheating is always done by a guy.
@@Unnatural09 you're right. There are cheaters and faithful people of both genders 💗
I love his story about his college days “I was like Hugh Hefner in my own home, with all the bunnys” I couldn’t stop laughing. Can’t believe the audience didn’t laugh at his jokes. I’m so happy he was able to make the sacrifice for love and that he could see that when he was young. I feared it would be a story about how he missed his chance but that’s a beautiful story, so inspirational.
I know fell out laughing! 😂😂😂
Maybe they were too drawn into deep thinking! 🙃
I know.
frr they were so quiet
meanwhile im laughing at everyone
Love without passion is like a body without a soul. Damn that was deep. I feel it.
He sang a Mary J Blige song and nobody joined in or laughed? Wow. Tough, dead audience.
Totally agree, the audience doesn't react at all. What is the point of going to this kind of event?
The guys tone is not one that influences or encourages laughter but his talk was good.
😭😭😭😭😭😭
Cincinnati must be a sad place. Where's the soul there?
Likely because it was a lot of white audience members who don't listen to or know mary j blige's songs.
I’m 25 and convinced I’ll never find love...I hate my generation. The normalization of cheating and having multiple partners ruined the idea of love. UPDATE: I’m now 28 and in a happy & committed relationship ❤️ crazy how life works 🙏🏾
Agreed, but please change your mindset...what you expect is what you'll get. There has to be one person on the planet who thinks as you do 😘
I m the 1 4 u
@@chandsoren5797 lol
Hey! I hate my generation too 😂 Tell yourself if you exist, there is certainly someone for you out there 🧡
The idea of love is toxic, or I should say the romanticized idea of love that we so readily buy into
Respect = love = effort. It's not just what we say but what we do. To feel loved by how our special someone treats us... 😊.
I literally cried 😭.. because my man really love me and I love him too so much. We are in love and we have this TRUE LOVE because we sacrifice for each other.. We leave our old life for our relationship ❤️
Still together?
🥺❤️
Wow so happy to hear that
So happy for you, wishing you long, passionate and sacrificial love together
“Love without passion, is like a body without a soul.” Damn bro, I felt that.
Trill $pill! ♥️🤘💯
very Beautiful words
This is also good for business
im 14 and this is deep
@@freedom2outshine670 That is true. A good business partner should be able to put his or her soul into the business. Thank you for watching my talk. Let me know if you need any advice on relationship
This man is cocoa butter, Shea butter & almond oil all in human form 😍
I think that's that true love glow right there!
...with a taste of honey!
That's the whole reason why I even clicked on the video honestly.
fine he looks like dark chocolate special addition.
Lololol
Love is somewhat relative. Perhaps the most important thing in love is knowing what it means to you and finding someone that fits into that definition. Perhaps the biggest problem in love is that experience may be required before we really know what we want. This may mean broken hearts are inevitable. Knowing that should help, however.
Whenever I've said to a friend I thought I was selfish, they assured me I wasn't. However, I'm willing to give up someone I adore or care about to protect my own health. True love can also be self-love. I just try and do the right thing.
1:55 If you loved someone.... would you cheat on them? *dead silence* *cough*
Mic drop, nuff said
Ikr
...lol..for real uh...dead silence.
PumpkinIII, I would not cheat on anyone , I am not a cheater. That is being dishonest.
Been laughing hard at this😂😂😂😂
True love without actions is not true love. Well said.
Yeah so true. 👍👍
that's the only thing I really took from this talk.
Ik a lady who always says love without action is just a four letter word. She says she dk where the saying comes from though.
That is bs. Maybe you can't act because of certain circumstances but you still love. Though I agree that one can lie that he or she loves you and oftentimes you can tell by their actions. But not always.
@@k.a.3614 for the most part though your actions should be showing you love them. Even sending a message telling them to be safe or call after they get home from a long trip.
A relationship needs more than just love!
True love is what you feel for your children, when you know you would lay down your life in an instant for them.
Be careful of the trap of sacrificing to express and prove your love, especially if you're trying to be an example of true love in the relationship. There are some bad seeds who will steamroll you, and you've got to love yourself.
Sadly, I agree with you. I was in a relationship with a narcissist for about a year. I can honestly say I loved her deeply, sacrifices and all but she was a dishonest, unfaithful, and took advantage of all the sacrifices I made. I think Phillip Phillip's song, Gone Gone Gone, sums up what what should kinda feel like.
Yes, I was steamrolled and still not flat enough for my love. I allowed it, I was joyous in my sacrifices, and now I have less than zero.
Yes we need to be able to tell the difference in advance of spending years with someone if they have the ability to love and will try to reciprocate at it day and night, in/after failure or success, and nearly 100% of the time. It's a trait that is harder and harder to find in people, perhaps because so many modern and comfortable societies are so distracted by the selfish and material stuff they seem to Never get enough of. It's really sad.
That principle is known as relationship equity is meaningless. People stay with you because of what you can do in the future. Not for what you did in the passed. So always invest in your long term skills and your own happiness before investing in the other persons happiness or your relationship.
Sarah M sooooo true real love is not based on what you get out of the situation but being able to be completely autonomous and choosing to love that person.
"True love if not backed up by action is not true love" This got me strucked so hard.
Jewel Jimenez By right action is what he said. There's a difference.
Wag na kc mag english kung d nmn kaya. Struck. Hindi strucked!
6 years of relationship .. just to realise I was just another grl in his life .. just to know what a toxic relationship really looks like up close.. just to understand the value of my self respect ( which was lost tbh ).. just to learn to trust my guts.. just to get hurt in the end.. just to get over the idea of keeping him happy in bed would keep him loyal and faithful.. just to lose my self in the process of "so called" love.. Just loving the idea of being loved. Just giving too much of myself to someone who didn't gv even a handful of him.. Just to get to know how ppl can lie looking straight into ur eyes and not even feel ashamed.. Just to realise how much someone could manipulate you and ur mental state.. Just to get pregnant unplanned and losing the baby , getting stressed and struggling to move on with the fact .. It's all f'ing sick to look back at all of that..
Let me share this on here cuz it might benefit someone going through hard times in his or her relationship. I was going through terrible times with my partner. I suspected he was cheating and I needed proof of this to back my claims. I couldn’t continue with this. All I wanted was to be sure of what was going on before I make any decision. I don’t make blind conclusions; I always want to see the proof for myself. I took the pain of searching for a professional IT expert who can help me spy and track all communication applications on his phone ( WhatsApp,Text messages, call logs and email). I was able to meet an amazing hacker named Webhubghost (@) gmaiilcom his hack services was professionally executed. All the hack was done remotely. He didn’t need physical access to the phone before it was hacked. Under 6 hours, the hack was done. Between these 6 hours, I was given updates about the progress of the hack work. This gave me rest of mind; it was very easy to trust his work. You can reach out to him at Webhubghost (@) gmaiilcom If you are interested in any of his services which ranges from phone hacking to social media account hacking, he will definitely deliver a perfect and swift service for you. I recommend Ben as the best option now because he is fast and reliable. I promised him to share his reputation across all online platforms for getting this done for me at last cause his services are untraceable and efficient not like those fakers I met previously. Email: WEBHUBGHOST (@) GMAILCOM Text: +19044177214
Same here. And I married him and had two kids. Men don't change.
@@readingiscool6865 sis really !
@@readingiscool6865 in general, some people don't change and some do.
@@username-pg6yk how are you now?
Biggie said it best “ Even left all my MF hoes for you.” That’s when you know you in love.
Lol
ughhh this audience is terrible i love his talk. hes doing great
Is not the onions the guys Dreiser desert wood
His tone did not encourage laughter neither is the Talk meant to entertain which is why he was able to continue and not be affected by the crowds emotionless demeanor
Amen to that!!!
His style of jokes wouldnt typically go over well with your typical TED Talk audience
Julie Jean-Mary I agree! They are so dry 😫😑
this crowd is the opposite of his perfect skin... hella dry
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'm weak 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
1. This man is dropping so much knowledge and truths. 2. He looks like he should be on the front page of a magazine. So handsome. 3. His jokes are funny and he’s interactive. 4. That audience is filled with cheaters, there’s no way no one laughed, sang the Mary song, or clapped when he spoke about getting married and having babies. 5. The audience wasn’t ready for this message
but we’re ready 😁
I love the way he tells his story with the couple of jokes and little singing!
"True love is sacrifice, giving up something for another thing that is far more important" I just realised true love can be applied for yourself too.
Nice
That is true love. Self love is the best love. No relationship is more important than the relationship we have with ourselves.
@@nyat5413 truth. :)
Just because someone has a place in your heart doesn’t mean you must make space for them in your life. It feels so damn good when you don’t accept mistreatment from anyone. Letting them go hurts for a moment but is worth it.
Nyasia Tucker i wouldnt want to shake your hand
Im truly not attracted to anyone else when Im in love. I dont notice attraction and people I was previously attracted to I see as far less attractive than the one I love. I pray I can find someone from God true love. I also take care of myself and my partner fully to maintain both of our happiness.
here is the problem, love is only temporary. So once the spark will disappear, you will notice others people again and fall out of love if you don't cheat before
Jillian Angel I’m with you on this!
You're not a man
Yes girl!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I pray too! In today’s society we are a “rare breed” very old school.. ♥️ I wish you luck!
@@monkeymindfrance8356 the spark is temporary love is still there, sometimes when you struggle to even like THEM you will work out because you both love eachother cheating a conscious choice a bad one but a choice for women, it's more of something missing possible emotionally loneliness but for men as well it's something different opportunity and there are people who are willing and they think their wives or main girl won't find out but it's a CHOICE
God makes no mistakes. I stumbled on this by watching something else totally unrelated and it confirms that it is time for me to "try love again" in recognition that it was people, not love, that hurt me and I should not let those flawed individuals keep me in bondage any longer. Thank you Dr. Smalls.
This is amazing, the exact same thing happened to me. I too stumbled across this after listening to Dr Smalls. God is LOVE and He knows our hearts and enables us to recognise that we can be vulnerable and Love again with His wisdom. Thank you Sir for this insightful talk. True love is sacrificial and l especially loved that you mentioned God's sacrificial Love for us by giving us His son. Love and Blessings 🇬🇧😊😊❤
"Love without passion is like a body with no soul " "True love comes with SACRIFICE "❤🔥 TEACH us TEACHER🙏🏾
2:27 "True love that is not backed up with the right action is not true love."
So important but so easy to not notice when with a person who is charming ie they say the right words but their actions contradict.
Then do you know what that action is?
@@nelsonmcgee4599 Yes
I felt that in my soul because i recently ended a longterm relationship because of this
Hi Jedi, thank you for your comment on my video. Why did that statement resonate with you?
Sometimes we are just in love with being in love!
Christine Miller That’s me
@@brittneycofield9153 me too! It's dangerous
That’s not love; that’s called addiction!! Seek therapy!!
We can always find love. The person who will love us is right out here. Sometimes he or she might not know how to love us the way we want. What do you think? Thank you for your thought and watching my talk.
@Lucy Emilia Romaniuk Great questions. What we know is usually from our child hood and parents. However, we can learn love by loving ourselves. As a matter of fact, love needs to start with us because it's what we have that we can share and give to our partners.
My biggest prayer is to be TRUELY In love with someone that loves me back and ever more. I want to experience the kind of love that I wake up everyday knowing this is God’s doing, I need the kind of love that we sacrifice to be better for each other, the kind of love that no matter the arguments or misunderstanding, we are going yo work on it for our good. The kind of love that there is trust, respect, and genuine forgiveness. I hope for a love that never does, love that inspires others to believe in true love… I’m 26, and I still believe that one day this will be my reality by the grace of God 😊💯🙏
True Love is accompanied by actions involving sacrifices.❤💪
One thing I learned from church about love is this. “love is the unconditional choice to sacrificially serve the other person” Love is an action, not a feeling. Love is a choice, not an emotion. Love is choosing to put the other person first, everyday, no matter how you feel. When both people do this, it leads to an amazing lasting relationship. Love is not the warm and fuzzy feelings that eventually fade and lead to a 50%+ divorce rate.
I'm not a church going person, but I 100% agree. Thank you for sharing..
Yes! Actions are true indicators of your true feelings. Not so much when things are going good, but when the hurricanes of life are blowing everything around you apart. Will you let go?
Yes, absolutely agree....no marriage can last with emotional love, it's the action, and the choice that you make that counts
Yes, love is an action and requires putting the other person first (within reason). Love is also an emotion. Being self-sacrificing and servile without love is, uh, like a clanging cymbal. The martyr-syndrome is self-centered (look at how wonderful I am!) The fading of fuzzy feelings is not the cause of the divorce rate. Divorces happen for many, many reasons. Staying married is not always good, getting divorced is not always bad. Not everyone is capable of the empathy required to sustain a relationship the way you describe it. Many people don't have the communications skills it takes. Even when they do, life takes its toll. Stressors can overwhelm even the most wonderful couples. Divorce rates go up when the economy is bad. Divorce rates are higher for parents of twins and more multiples. Divorce rates go up after the birth of a disabled child, after the death of a child, and after other family tragedies. Depression, PTSD, addictions, and other misunderstood illnesses trigger divorce. (If you really loved me you'd quit drinking is utter nonsense.) Even religion can cause divorce if one person's beliefs develop differently than the other's.
Love is a feeling, but yes love is that as well. It is 50 plus do to cheating and not putting the other person first.
The entire audience is cheating on their partners...lol
rattlersunited 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂🤣😅
Lol, I thought the same thing
Lmao. 😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣
😄😂🤣😂
Love and marriage are different. Love is an incredible fulfilling emotion while marriage is a step ahead, when love culminates into marriage, then starts the journey of responsibility. Lovers have no responsibility, but married couples have. Don't take your spouse for granted. He equally puts his best in you. Marriage needs empathy. It needs tact. Sacrifice though important, alone is not enough.
Love is patient, love is kind...FAKE LOVE = messy Lust forbidden stolen honey sweet poison! TRUE LOVE = NEVER Fails!
“Love without passion, is like a body without a soul”
Very true
I felt that
Hahaha
I like the statement: "Love without passion, is like a body without a soul." The comment: "Narcissists have no soul that's why they cheat," clarifies many situations. However, true love 💘 helps one build and continue the relationship.
He's literally glowing in the dark
I know right, they needed to turn on the lights brighter up in there!
skin goals fr
Lol, no man🙈
Lol shoulda gave him a different background my phone brightness is all the way up and hes still dark but I bet he look pretty in the sunshine 🤭
Courtnee Maxey no, he’s not.
Love is clear. When it’s clear, when you’re confused. That’s not true love
When you are truly in love, you can interact with other people but you don't see them as someone you have to keep interested in you and you don't lead them on. You just know in your heart whom you truly desire, no matter what! it just stays the same. People says spark disappears after some months, true love has the power to hold on the person and lift them up in their worst times...as he already explained love has to be greater than any other reasons to cheat, leave or etc.
they're all in awe of his beauty. that's why they're so quiet. He's just too visually perfect
Lisa S wtf are u talking about
Lol Thank you for your kind words and watching my talk
@@Gfem01 you're welcome handsome
All I can see is his shirt and tie!
@@roxannareneerantz638 Nobody asked you Roxanne.
Seems like dislikes are from the same people who were sitting in the audience.
true - how can you not love this beautiful talk??? this guy is awesome!
😂🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, such a dull bunch loll!
True love is sacrifice. When someone loves you & you know you're broken. you'd do anything for that person even if it means letting them go so they can find someone better.
The best story ever told. The one about God’s unfailing love.
Cheating on someone only speaks the truth that you don’t love her that much. If you truly love a person, you can’t afford to hurt her feelings.
lack of real life experiences here, this is not hollywood !!!
My girl said she cheated on me because she thought I'll cheat on her first.... Totally broke my heart wen she did that
...because in doing so you'll end up hurting yourself.
lol , I think cheating happens and sometimes it because their gaps in the relationship
@@mbusiswagumede5274 what do you mean by gaps?
His accent is beautiful
Caramelgodesss Nigerian man he is
Nigerian accents are so beautiful. The way they pronounce words are so cute to me, when they have an accent. I talk with Nigerians on a regular basis.
yes! my friend jay jays from Liberia
HE is beautiful!! 😍💖
Abimbola Roy flawless skin, lovely Nigerian man. My best friend is a lovely Nigerian man
When you realize that you finally, truly, love yourself.
In my opinion true love is everything when we die we don’t take money or anything with us but the memories and love we had with the person next to us that was there for u for many years I think that’s beautiful, if two people love each other breaking up isn’t an option they’ll figure it out together and work thru almost everything but if u cheat that was never love u weren’t satisfied u have to keep looking for that one person that makes u see life different
There must be alot of cheaters in that audience...* crickets* 😂😂
Nurse Judy 😂😂😂
Nurse Judy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣omg
😩😩🤣
😁😂🤣😄😅😆
😂
I love it when he spoke about God's love and used that to illustrate what true love is 😭
Savannah サビちゃん I think this is the first and only time I heard God and his love in any TedX video... amazing! 👏
That made me happy and know i could gather what he was saying ♡
Nice, but what about atheists? They can't feel true love? Kinda selfish.
@Kesil Kesila Wait no, if I understand this perfectly, he just means that God loves us the way someone *truly* loves someone else, so atheists can still have that true love : They just need to use an example , sometimes
Savannah サバンナ Ahmed deedat would have destroyed this guy on quoting that verse. The videos r out there when he destroyed many pastors on that subject
8:01 True Love (/Agape Love/ Αγάπη) can hold a relationship together 8:14 What's True Love? (2 Words: PASSION & ^LOVE= Sacrifice^) 8:33 What is Passion? 8:58 How you can tell if someone truly loves you? Sacrifice
"...love that is not backed up by the right actions, is NOT true love..." 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Cheaters in the audience....the silence speaks 😒
Mrs. Vixen Sanders 😂😂😂😂🤭
lol forreal
Well one guy coughed so maybe theres a small glimmer of hope...
The silence is roaring. 🙁
African Amer96ican 7th
Love is an action Period don’t just tell me, show me
Indeed my Brother that's my quote all day. My Dad told me always watch what people do and not words. Along where the spirit and soul resonate at I've picked up
Narcissistic man and pick me in the comment section
Love should be seen both in action and words. It cannot be just one over the other.
Yeaha
It should also be intentional.
Thank you Femi for speaking the Truth in Love. May God's richest blessings be yours.
Your girlfriend was 'bold' enough to give you an ultimatum, and was prepared to stand by it. Our women today are so afraid to lose their partners that even though they fight, argue, taunt, insult the cheating partner, they still stick with them. You were given the time to sit back and analyse, then make a clear and concise decision. Men today know they can have their cake and eat it too, so they continue to push the limits!
Not all men are this way, the world is to damn big for that assumption. Social media is destroying real relationships day by day, but there are many people who refuse to allow themselves to be consumed in it. When most people are trying to be the next Cardi B or Hugh Hefener, who's trying to be in a real relationship? But there's a catch... If YOU see yourself as a person who's truly faithful, who's to say that someone else like you doesn't exist? There's over 7 billion people in the world today, you're BOUND to run into bad matches because of today's society. But It's up to you to stay strong and find your match. Alot of people today only like the good qualities in people and want to reject the bad when they should make a few healthy compromises but don't, so they throw the WHOLE person out of their lives.
Women, too. They get too little slack for being unfaithful.
V4ultr3mTV nah there’s probably about 5billion now with that flu that’s out hahahaha
Maria Ali women cheat on average just as much as men.
someones_takako very disappointed that I saw a Mgtow comment here
He would’ve gotten better interaction from a wall, what kind of audience is this?
A respectful one?
Haha... Please stop being so funny haha...
Princess lol
@@msmccormick5744 not really. The least they could've done was acknowledge his sense of humor. This was a boring crowd.
Princess he’s boring.
This is so true. Now I can see that my partner never actually truly loved me, because he knew what is hurting me, but he kept saying that it is his right. I sacrificed the story that was a lie for him. I did loved him truly
Being loved by positives is really a gift
Your wife is blessed. This man is handsome.
With amazing skin!
In, spirit. First])
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I really hope so. I don't have faith that what is on the outside is the same as what is done behind closed doors because oftentimes its not but, he does appear handsome and wise. Im sure that he has much temptation.
I know riiiiiight?
"God demonstrated true love. "❤
But it can be so scary bc you might gladly sacrifice for someone but then they might hurt you. Then your sacrifice (whatever it was) has no left you with nothing.
I truly love this. Anyone in your professional care is truly blessed.
How do you know you truly Love someone or if someone truly Loves you: Sacrifice Amen brother
Use feeling -- intuition
different about love and I don't know... not perfect,not expecting... someone come to my life... I really feel that I Love you... feel inside my heart and mind that truly love ..heart not dictated mind teach.
And I'm supposed to surrender 14 minutes waiting for someone to tell me something that simple? Come on!
@@MichaelZedeler play the victim as if someone held a gun to your head and made you watch this on a site where you are in control of what you watch. Meanwhile unless you're a baby every movie TV show etc after the age 12 should teaches the same thing. So get over yourself and go make some real life friends so you can whine to them we get it you don't believe in God great! Ever wonder why you are so lost. How about I get in a car and go to a destination I've never been before get lost and say I don't believe in Navigation whether I believe or not it's available at anytime
@@sherbear1914 I'm not opposed to people talking about God and mixing in anecdotes from their personal lives, but I'm upset that TED has signed off on this.
People spend their lives searching for people, places, and things to satisfy themselves. When you meet another who understands and recognizes your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual personhood; satisfaction is near. You will never leave such a one, and nothing you do for them will seem sacrificial - it's just pure joy. I believe this gift of love is divine. But so many are unaware that this love is possible, and so we settle, cheat, divorce and struggle with our limited knowledge of counterfeit love.
Unfortunately though a lot of people meet the 'one' you know you're supposed to be with at the wrong time! The moral is never settle until you find that special person who ticks all your boxes, physically, emotionally, spirituality and soulfully! If not, you will never be completely happy in any other relationship.
How does one find this love?
Nothing can defeat that. Best way to find love is to not look for it, funnily enough. Through so many broken hearts, and finding my true love, I've learned that when you find a person you really want to love and grow with, you must believe in them, and put in your 100% even when it is not convenient for you. Most of all, be HONEST in the right time, BE CONSISTENT in your effort, and TALK to them about how you feel, tell them everything. If you are afraid of not being accepted by someone, do you really want to hide yourself from the one you're supposed to love? Sacrifice that wall for them. Do it for you too. Accept that person as they are, love them all that they are now, and let them love you. Give them the chance to love you.
@@Satan666Official Beautifully written. I needed to read that. Thank you.
You mean counterfeit relationship
❤ Amen 🙏🏼 it’s not that hard to be good to someone. Do unto others as you’d have done to you. Love does not hurt , love is kind. To cheat on someone who is in love with you is a horrible painful thing to do to someone, you don’t cause that kind of pain to someone you love!
I could listen to this dudes voice all day and not get sick of it.
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I love Femi's voice. He'd narrate an audiobook really well.
He needs to STOP SMACKING his lips tho! 💋
I have a prof with the same accent. I have no problem listening to him the whole class👀
Oh his voice!! so calm and lovable...
Yes, it's so relaxing.
Jamaican mon’
If a man cheats, he does not love his woman. That woman needs to leave if he cheats four times. She needs to leave if he cheats once.
But if a woman cheats it's also the fault of him because he just did not gave her enough time,love,attention etc
ben hosch no, it’s not the men’s fault then, it’s still the cheaters fault, and their lack of confidence etc.
@@bschafer4247 no. Cheating is the fault of the cheater
ben hosch - Exactly. But remember, she’s not cheating if he doesn’t know 🤷🏽♀️
Levi Ackerman - It’s called sarcasm friend. The point is, women are hypocrites but you know what? The cover is being pulled off of them. A day of reckoning is happening.
Guys comes up Spits straight facts... and I really learned from him... and Will cherish these values.. My gratitude for you... thanks
Now a days relationships are more of a hook up types rather than promising to be withstand till the end. People just come into s relationship to escape their lonleyness
" True love that is not backed up by the right action is not true love"
Tru that . ACTIONS say EVERYTHING . words are simply , just words when no action follows them .