What Nobody Tells You About Your Twenties | Livi Redden | TEDxBayonne
The fact of the matter is many of the biggest decisions that leave a long-lasting impact on our lives generally occur in our teens and twenties - college, career, marriage, moving out, handling finances, having children, and so on. Despite all the decision-making, this time of our lives doesn't have to be so confusing and anxiety-driven.
In her talk, Livi explains that a few mindset shifts and some intentional emotional development can eradicate so much of that unease and help young adults build the joyful, fulfilling future they deserve. Livi Redden is an author, speaker, and podcaster who guides teens and twenty-somethings on how to intentionally steer their lives through the power of emotional development, mindfulness, and accountability so they can live the fulfilling, joyful lives they deserve. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Hello everybody. I am 20 years old and from Ukraine. After what I heard in this video I want to cry. I feel that I live in another universe, because building of myself, thinking about the best years of life, thinking before going to sleep "Am I happy enough" - I always have samr answer - no. Because in Ukraine, the genocide of my people by the russians. Right now, I and my whole generation feel that our life is completely lost. Most of my generation aged 16-25 do not see the meaning of life at all. That week I attended the funerals of 2 of my acquaintances who were not even 30 yet. And this happens every month, every week, every day... I really want That such tedtoks would be relevant to me, but all I feel at the moment is envy of my peers from other countries who have opportunities that I do not have and will never have
I cant imagine what youre going through. I am so sorry . There arent enough words. But time has a huge power. Your life changed and it will change again. Stay strong. No bad thing last forever.
sorry to hear that man :( how are you doing today
Please hope for the best always in prayers❤❤
Мені так шкода, що ми це проживаємо і що росіяни крадуть у нас життя в усіх сенсах. Це жахливо, дуже сумно і неймовірно несправедливо. Будь ласка, бережіть себе.
Daily love and prayers will be sent to you and your people💚⭐️🤲 I’m sorry you have to live in time of war and violence, I’m telling you from my personal experience, your grief will end, you will find peace one day, no matter what the external situations are! 💕
"A FEELING OF BEING CONSTANTLY AT WAR WITH THEIR MINDS" 100000000000000000% ✅✅✅✅✅✅
Weak
@@_rd_kocaman You know what, I agree. I am WEAK. I have so much FEAR. I overthink a lot. And it’s very frustrating. But also, if you made this comment with me a year ago, I would have commented a paragraph of hate against you. Today, I’m just happy I’m not in DENIAL anymore. That there’s a lot of aspects in me that needs improvement and I can’t wait to become more courageous! Thank you so much for pointing this out.
@@restymacalisang that's what's up. pain is the feeling of weakness leaving your body keep doing you G.
Video Summary: The speaker discusses the lack of practical emotional and decision-making training for young people in their twenties and emphasizes the importance of developing these skills to lead a less stressful and more fulfilling life. She introduces three pillars: unlearning social conditioning, designing an authentic way of being, and taking action, to promote better emotional intelligence and self-guided growth. The goal is to empower young adults to make conscious choices and create a successful life aligned with their core values. - 00:00 The lack of practical emotional and decision-making training for young people in their twenties - 02:58 The decisions and habits we form in our 20s have a significant impact on our future. - 05:57 The speaker discusses the struggles faced by teens and 20-somethings, emphasizing the need for better emotional and decision-making skills. - 08:56 Living in alignment means aligning your core priorities, actions, and thoughts with your deepest core values, leading to a blissful and fulfilling life. - 11:56 The speaker talks about the importance of intentional growth and why we put forth the effort. - 14:56 Making bold changes in our lives can be scary, but if it feels right, it can bring more peace than chaos.
Thanks (100th like btw👍)
THANK U FOR THIS
@@Tetus7 lmao
fresh outta ChatGPT
Thank u
i'm 22, graduated last year but still unemployed. last year was a hard one because i beat myself up for resting before finding a job. i still feel lost rn but i'm doing my best to pull myself together. this talk reminded me that it's okay to be lost but it's not okay to stay there. we have to make big changes and learn and unlearn things. nothing changes if nothing changes.
You’ll get there - keep going. Find hobbies you enjoy doing, try different jobs and focus on developing quality relationships with friends and family. All food for the soul! You won’t believe how far you’ve come when you’re in your 30’s and look back at your 20’s. Allow yourself to make mistakes too. Good luck!
@@Lowrisun wow. thank you SO MUCH for this. i hope and wish you the best as well 🥹🤍
I'm 26 unemployed. Let's both make positive changes :)
@@lock_checker4342 we're gonna get through this! sending love 🤍
At 22, this REALLY resonates with me. The more work you put into yourself in your youth, the better off you will be for the rest of your life. Such an amazing talk! Y’all should check out her book- The Sooner You Know, The Better! Read this recently and she goes into more detail with these concepts with great humor. Highly recommend!!
Thank you so much, I'll check it out now.
Thank you for sharing, will check it out
Yep, this is true. If you don't, you become a thrity-something nobody, and you really don't want that. So finish school, take a year to really think your future and only then go to college and pursue a degree. Well, unless you already know what you want, then you are one of the lucky few.
I just turned 30. I'm proud of my twenties. I didn't achieve all my goals, certainly am nowhere near successful by societal standards, and deal with a lot of depression and social anxiety issues. But I learned so much about myself and life and have always been "personal growth" and spiritually oriented (pagan and Buddhist). I was suffering and realized no one around me was going to help me/knew about emotional intelligence work, so I went searching (and still am) for my own answers. I'm so far from where I want to be but I've come a long way and honor my process. Self compassion, curiousity, and mindfulness have been my best tools, along with some therapy to help validate my experiences and realize my core values.
Look into something called the VIA survey too for anyone reading- it helps narrow down your strengths, weaknesses, and overall values, and gives suggestions for daily actions that align with said values.
@zila626 I'm glad to hear this, you seem like you are on a good path forward, take care and I wish you a peaceful life /jack from Sweden
You can make it, i hope you get it someday.
This is your journey. If no one ever told you: You're doing great. You own this! Keep it up! 😊
Just turned 34.. I’m glad I’m not alone. Well wishes on your journey through life. 🙏🏾❤️ at a few years older, my advice is to stay in tune and true to yourself. I have faith you’ll be okay ❤
When I was 20, I don't think we have many great resources like this TED talk here. Looking back on my own twenties, I can say that life has a way of teaching me many lessons, some easy, some hard. So when you come across those hard moments, please don't beat yourself up. It is very likely that you're facing that problem for the first time in your life, it is expected to feel very difficult. Just breathe and learn to grow from it. The fact that you're here to prepare for your twenties means you are light years and wiser from tiny me, don't give up!
21, Indian. The title itself was an attention catcher. I graduated this year, and trust me this is the most difficult, confusing, stressed, anxious, and struggling phase of my life. It feels comforting to hear that so many of us are sailing in the same boat. also, I believe this is the only time when we are not running in autopilot mode and are finally getting the chance to think about ourselves, our values, our belief systems, and who we really are. during this phase, I have realized that it is essential for me to spend time with myself and reflect on these questions. stay distant from voices that fade these voices inside of me and continue to REFLECT, REFLECT, AND REFLECT.
I can feel you. Truly.
Bihari here i can feel you
Adulting was always my biggest wish. Making choices on your own and not always being dependant on your parents is a really great thing, but it is scary how the time passes and you kind of feel like not living at all and every day is the same. Comparison is also a thing I started to struggle with as I grew older. Realising how unfair life is. This video made me realise that I am not alone and thing eventually will figure. I hope that someday my work will pay off.
Someday it will pay off, hope that you're in a better space and things have been working out well for you❤
better that than adultering
I am 25. Struggling with choices and doubting whether my actions are correct. By doing efforts of aligning “myself” with the society, I have struggled with self doubts. Probably it’s the best video I watched. ❤
same here..
same here😢
Hope we find contentment in ourselves soon ❤️
Same
same, hits hard
“We must take radical responsibility as soon as possible as this is where joy & fulfilment are born.” Such an important talk for all young people to hear…thank you for sharing your profound wisdom Livi💖
No way!!! I’m 18 years old and listened to this video for the first time ever on an April 26th!!
😲😲😲
"life-changing, life-saving, society-changing skills" that line is powerful and 100% true when it comes to emotional development. This is such an important conversation and you share it so beautifully! Everyone needs to watch this! I'm 23 and this definitely resonated with me from so many different angles. Thank you!
same here, I'm 23 too kk and I'm agree with u
Hi, I hope you would read my text and as a human beings plz... answer of my text. You are love of my life.
I am a sophomore in High-school. Yesterday i wrote an essay regarding schools providing classes for mental stability and support. Following this video i am so grateful that i wrote that essay and overall provided good facts and information exactly like what was given in this video.
This is the other half of the argument on how to live through your twenties that people don't talk about. I love it.
Well, just take a note here for myself. In conclusion, she metioned three important pillars: unlearning, being and doing. Unlearning is kind of unlearning what the society had taught you all your life, learn to hear how your heart truly says, constantly reflects yourself. Being is being your true self, ignoring what other people say about how you should “build your house”. Instead of that, start building it in your own way. You’ll feel the most comfortable in the house you made for yourself. Lastly, doing. You must take the action, even if it is the most scary thing to do. People tend to afraid of the bold changes, cus it’s unpredictable. But actually, if you do it right, it will bring more peace than chaos. Reread all this and find out, the word repeated the most is “yourself”, make sense, cus only if you see through yourself, you find the peace in your soul. And that’s what matter the most.
Absolutely on point- we need to be so much more mindful of our 20’s as it sets the stage of the scene of our lives. Thanks for sharing your story
I’m about to turn 18 years old in a month, and I’m absolutely grateful for convincing myself to watch this. I still have so much to learn about life and this video taught me so many things I have to know about before my 20’s . As a 17 yo kid right now I’m very afraid of making wrong decision of my life. im worried about my future what if I made the wrong choice. I don’t even know what is right for me I don’t know if the decision I made was right or not. But after I’ve watched this video all I know is I gotta work hard. Stop thinking worrying about everything in my life and start to doing it right now whatever I wanted to do. And I’m absolutely agreed with the advice that many adults tell us that “you still have time, don’t worry about it” is the worst advice ever for me. The worst thing u can think of is that you have time.
It is 2:35 after midnight, and I’m sitting alone questioning my quarter life crisis,being lost and sad , knowing that 20’s are my hardest part of life , and i need to survive it And this talk came in my way It’s so helpful and the concept is soothing and supportive Like a friend that telling you : it is okay , you are on the right track ❤❤❤
sending you so much love
The amount of people I've been sharing this video with, is mad. I saved it and downloaded it. I'm 20 so honestly perfect timing.
I’m 24 and these concepts have been heavily on my mind very often these days. I found this video at the right moment.
Wow! This is so eye opening & such an important topic that isn’t talked about enough. Thank you for this talk, all young people need to hear this!
I am turning 21 in less than ten days and graduate college in less than 6 months. This video came as a sort of life saver to me and am I the only one who is tearing up by the end of this ? So glad I came across this
I’m glad it found you my dear🧡
Livi Redden's TEDx talk on intentional emotional development for young adults struck a chord with me, especially as I approach my twenties this year. The idea that mindset shifts and emotional development can alleviate the confusion and anxiety associated with major life decisions resonated deeply. Redden's insights into steering one's life through mindfulness and accountability provided a refreshing perspective on navigating the challenges of this pivotal phase. Her emphasis on proactively shaping our emotional well-being to create a joyful and fulfilling future was both empowering and reassuring. As I reflect on her talk, I realize the importance of incorporating intentional emotional growth into my own journey. Redden's guidance encourages a more purposeful approach to decisions related to education, career, relationships, and personal development. This talk has inspired me to embrace emotional intelligence as a tool for building resilience and steering my life towards a future that aligns with my values and brings genuine fulfillment.
This video was really inspiring to me. I am 21 years old and consider myself to be very successful and on top of all aspects of my health. I have reaped the benefits of working hard to become who I am today. But recently I have been fairly unmotivated and sitting in the back seat. This video has inspired me to try and start an "alignment growth journal." I'm hoping that with at least 4 entries per week, that I can begin to realign my values and actions. "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems." I have definitely been feeling the repercussions of falling to my systems. I would be terrified to learn that I would live the rest of my life like I have the past 3 months if I was to be hardwired today. So with becoming hardwired on the horizon, I will work super hard to act and think the way I want to do so for the rest of my life.
I been feeling the same way as of late- thank u for these words this is smart to do !
@@ian_panganiban I had failed to commit this to habit and haven't started any journaling :( But I did just buy a guided journal today so I am hoping that helps begin the journey. Good luck on your process!
14:26 was my favorite part. Good to hear when you’re ready for big change but scared about the world around you
In my entire life of 20 years no one ever said to me that you have time
You have time!
@@DanaJaneWriter Haha! 😆
PAY ATTENTION! Crucial and lifelong lessons! HELP for young people looking for a more healthy mindset journey! Thank you Livi!
This is so amazing ! Thank you so much for being so brave and sharing your story with us 💕
So powerful! Well done Livi. What a blessing you are to all of us on this planet 💜
Incredible. Probably the best adivce and mindset inspiration I've ever heard. Well, done Livi!
Loved this so much! Such a great thing to be talked about.
Thank you for sharing with us, recently I had been struggle with my life decision, whether did I pick a right job or i dont have enough money so I force to work. My life decision seems like always money and money. This video had motivate me a lot that I need to align myself with own values not other people values, my own happiness is the most important things that I need. Really appreciate that !!!!
Feeling bold after watching this amazing video as an 19 years old girl ! ❤
Couldn't stop holding my tears as i realised how much your talk resonates with me. The outburst came the moment you said 'Unlearning'. Thank you so much! ❤❤❤❤
I'm 21 and I truly needed this. Thank you Livi... Seriously thank you❤️✨
Honestly, I have no idea about how life has been miserable due to misunderstanding from classmates, financial stability, the worries about future and career as well. I suppose I have been focusing so much on something I cant control like overthinking rather than focusing on myself. Thanks to video for reminding and giving guideline for personal growth.
cheers livi!! needed this message you were spot on so MANY TIMES
Thank you for the topic In my 20s,I have been facing problems such as educational and financial,It’s not easy to give up on my graduation to chose the way to find money.Start from now I will not wasting my time by finding money.I will try to grow up more in my 20s and let follow the money with my skills
This is gold! Absolutely brilliant!
I'm 22 when watching this, I've been watching TEDs and this I'm ranking as one of the most resonating with me.Thanks Big time 💯💯
Wow! I NEEDED THIS. Thank you.
Shoutout to Livi! I am so grateful for this video. It affirmed to me that all the work that I've done and the work that I continue to do, to live my life and my being as the most authentic version of myself, is the best thing that I can do for myself. I was feeling a bit lost and being lost is okay. I'm re-aligning with my path and what I want to explore in this life, and that's more than okay! As long as I'm being honest with what I want and who I am and am trying my best and giving myself grace, then I'm on the right path 🫶🏽
THIS🧡
Great speech! Life-changing skills can make the difference.
This is definitely and idea worth spreading!!!
Shes so lovely, gorgeous and smart. I think im inlove. The way she articulates her sentence is very attractive
So glad I found this now and not a decade from now ❤
When she said align with your true core values it all added up. Instantly my brain new what they were, the whole mix(finances, relationships,health,spirit, mentality) so thats what I am going to do. I'll take steps each and everyday to better myself in this regard. The confusion for me came when u are looking at everyone else and it confuses you on whether what you are doing is right or not. This has reminded me to stay true to myself, and also not to be so naive to push onto the future by saying oh well I'll find a wife later in life, what's stopping mw from taking active steps now even if it is uncomfortable in the moment. Thats what life is about, moving towards your goals with hope and certainly that with the work and effort you put in you will eventually become who you have always wanted to be.
So amazing!!
This is true. I started a pandemic prevention project when I was 24 years young in 2014. I'm 34 now and I know how to save world population 😊.
This comment is so interesting if you don’t mind me asking how are you gonna go that?
I truly needed to hear this. Thank you Livi
I am 21, soon turning 22 and I really took so many decisions in my college life to change my life it really worked, like I did acting to increase my confidence, i did dancing, singing, modelling, sports, and bodybuilding. i enjoyed my journey , but I still regret not making right decisions at the right time, after watching you I will work more on myself and I will definiately become more self-confident
Sounds like you did exactly what you needed to do. You explored🧡
LIVI SO PROUD OF YOU🎉
I feel like the speaker was reading my life currently. I m 25 years living in Kenya . Recently I made bold decision of resigning the job because I was feeling that I wasn't adding value to my life but was more money driven. But having listen to the speaker words I feel like I made the right decision for my future. Once again thank you
Moment of bliss au sio.
Truly enlightening ❤️
this is one of the best video i watched in youtube, this is really life saving ❤
Thank you for your sharing, I appreciate it ❤
Hi dear s ean
thanks for such wonderful advice i believe that it will help me a lot as i am in my early 20s
3 Pillars: 1. Unlearning 2. Being 3. Doing "Start being intuitive and intentional as soon as possible."
Love the house analogy! What a cool metaphor.
I feel so much better about my situation because now I know I am not alone in my dilemma of trying to figure out how to live life. Thank you
One of the greatest and useful video I’ve encountered 🙌 thank you
7:45 well said 🙌🏽
Who came here for learning English?
Yeah, this helps me😌
@@jessicavilchez4582 keep going..
@@UkashaWaqas You too😎
@@jessicavilchez4582 yeah sure 😊
👋
Thank you for sharing 🫶
I’m really glad that I listened to this
Just grateful for this talk.❤
such a beautiful and moving speech✨🤍
”The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.“ John 10:10 The answer can’t be personal fulfillment because we will always fail one way or another. I lived this life that she talks about - but personal alignment and emotional/mental health could only get me so far. I was always striving and never arriving at the life or person I wanted to be. Jesus is the only one who can truly satisfy our souls, give us rest, and save us from the destruction around us and within us.
wow this is amazing thank you.
Thank you, Livi. The faster you grow, the better!
I'm 20 something (21) and I feel this very personal, thank u❤️❤️
I am 23, about to graduate college and it is just intense. 20’s are so hard to navigate. Like who am i ? I dont even know yet
Excellent!
There are many many people who needs to hear her
Thank you for uploading this video.
Thank you ❤
Very profound speech, thank you.
My gosh ! Her outfit !
I know I am not living in alignment with my values but unfortunately I won’t be able in order to make a decent living. I want to go study but I can’t afford it while living out of home, the cost of living is simply too high for me to do something I genuinely enjoy. That’s the scary thing about being in your 20s right now, it seems like the world is slowly getting more and more unbearable. There’s so much hate and anger in the world and I count myself lucky to even have what I do right now, it’s all very overwhelming
Thank you so much
"Making bold changes!!!" Thats for me
every part of this resonated with me so deeply
I have 😮n
Is anyone here for learning English
Yes, me!
its mee!😂
Great listen. Very well spoken, very well done!
It’s my first time when I watched your video. I’m obsessed! You are so cute and nice!!
Great Talk
Lovely, Livi, thanks!
I'm in my early thirties, and my twenties were horrendous to start with and eventually ended up to be better. I honestly don't regret the recklessness in my twenties, I personally believe that it was required to make me a better person, a calmer individual and a bit more rational. Don't stress about your twenties, enjoy it and make mistakes. Just be sure that you learn from your mistakes. Yes, 20's can have a significant impact on your life, I don't deny that at all. Learn empathy and think before you hurt someone, sometimes it can be irreversible. Also, please lock your phone away and enjoy your life with your friends and family; and please do take care of your health. Do make bold changes! Best of luck everyone.
1000% love this comment 🧡
Im watching this reading these comments and i so deeply want to comprehend and actually do this but i feel like i literally am fighting a war in my mind and im always losing no matter how much i want to do something no matter how deeply i desire to just go out and do something as simple as food shopping but it feels so phycially impossible for me every second feels like an eternal battle of thinking and losing. I just want a clear head where i can say i want to do something and can just DO IT.
Same here…
This is the art of talking without saying anything. She will leave her audiences with more questions in their mind.
The Conclusion was very life changing, i felt it. Thanks for this.
Unlearning Living in alignment Being Doing
amazing.
The man upstairs!!
Everything changes . But what would you love to do right here right now? What if tomorrow you'll die? What would you do today? Find something you are willing to do for the rest of your life. And Don't quit. Challenges are opportunities for growth. Listen to your true self. Take time off for reflections.
software is digital and hardware physical but i get your point
“correlation does not mean causation” loved that!
Absolutely insane. I alway listen to ted talks or podcasts on the stair-master. I opened up youtube and scrolled, my usual genre of videos not catching my eye and I for some reason click on this video. It’s April 26th, 2024 and I’m 20 years old and listening to this at the gym all by pure coincidence.
I'd say maybe the one thing that can help us distress in our 20s is not being so hard on ourselves life is all about change and I wouldn't say the previous generations advice can help us. We have to figure out life step by step I'm in my mid 20s and really under pressure. Because I see the changes and how previous mindsets don't work anymore