Mary survived satanic cult rituals
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I spent a day with Mary Knight to learn the truth about recovering from ritualistic abuse ▸ This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp - go to betterhelp.com/padilla to get 10% off your first month ▸Go to joinhoney.com/padilla to get PayPal Honey for free.
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0:00 INTRODUCTION
3:14 REMEMBERING THE ABUSE
8:53 BORN EVIL?
10:55 WHEN IT STOPPED
11:46 UNCOVERING THE MEMORIES
17:13 "MY LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER"
18:02 SPONSOR
20:06 FINDING CLOSURE
26:41 ADVICE TO OTHERS
28:03 BLOOPER
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why do u get up so aggressively in the intros
yo
I’ll totally watch it. Thanks Mr. Padildo
Cool!You should bring cherdleys next time,another talented KZhead comedian
Thank you for making sure people are heard.
When she said “my life is really good now” made me tear up IMMEDIATELY
I also cannot fathom how she can still believe in God after all that, wow.
No me too, I'm so glad she's doing well now
@@michikomanalang6733 that is faith--people gave her her bad situation and god gave her the strength to overcome it and accede to the better life she has now
@@michikomanalang6733 God is good to me!
@@anonymouselixir thanks
It's astonishing that a human being who endured such horrific emotional torture during their entire childhood can even string a sentence together. She deserves all credit for the tremendous compassion and emotional intelligence and love she has found for herself. She is an amazing role model.
She's absolutely phenomenal.
I agree I’m surprised she hasn’t split into multi personalities or something
Many drs don’t believe this woman and the treatment she used can I plant false memories many drs outright speak out against this controversial treatment as it caused people to believe false memories. In the 90s Satanic panic happened due to the amount of people recalling false memories, Anthony should really rethink how he portrays these people stories with zero evidence as the truth :/
@@NF40375 that’s part of the issue DID is debated becuase of situations like this exact one, if it is real this would be the perfect case of dissociation. So it’s really a messy topic, that being said the fact she didn’t go into full psychosis is honestly incredible.
Yall it's not true it's a classic satanic panic
When she said “I looked at my mom and I really wanted her to care” completely broke me. I can’t imagine a little child going through that. I thought I was ready for this interview but I cried through this entire thing. She is so strong and resilient.
You know how it is, many children got beaten until they become purple by their parents but they still reach to high them to ease the reason why their parents have been upset while on the other hand those parents think they have done good because the children still love them.
you believe this woman? smh lol unreal
Im from the netherlands here we got a case about a girl with the same stories she even told here baby was raped killed and burried during a satanic ritual by a top ranking minister. Real journalist (no conspiracy media) found so much evidence it Will keep you awake at night.
As children of abuse . We never stop loving our parents even if they do vile things to us . God jah . Is the only one who can fix all of this .
@@tonyamartin1425 I believe her
the black man who was being tortured in a cross but still had more humanity than anyone envolved because he still tried to save the little girl in the scene really broke me
You really believe this?
@@hilbilliethere’s documented pictures of this happening in history. Are u slow
only white people believe this dumb shit they cant tell when white people are writing for black characters lol he was like the dude in Green mile? like bagger Vance ? Like forest gumps friend?? a white woman made this bs up. Black man white cross lol gtfoh! @@hilbillie
Ikr? And then those creatures killed that brave man
yes they killed the brave man in her imagination lol why was he brave again? lol He died quietly lol @@goodmorning2386
" little girl, go and tell what happened"...I teared up. This poor lady
this felt like a God thing to me..an angel in the darkness
Was it proven that her memories aren't true?
@@aurizzistic what about her cousin though? He experienced the same thing and he even told her he did
@@aurizzisticGive some sources? Edit to add: "Google it" is not a source
@@gungeligung"Could you provide me with sources?" "just google lol" Thats not how you provide sources my guy
To me, the most striking part of this video is how incredibly normal her and her family all look in the photos. They're affectionate, well put together, smiling, doing a range of family activities. They look like people you could see anywhere in your community and not suspect a single thing. It makes me think of how many other people are experiencing things just as horrific as Mary did, and no one will ever know.
They look very abnormal in some of the pics in the doc. A couple were downright terrifying
@@subg8858 the one in front of their house where she's leaning against her dad, neither of them are smiling and her eyes are so empty. It broke my heart.
Abuse is surprisingly normal in a lot of places, especially when it comes to a parent physically assaulting their kid for 'unacceptable behaviour', which is just an excuse really. The signs of abuse are subtle so often overlooked. I was neglected and starved for a while, but no one saw an issue until one teacher realised I wasn't eating at breaks. It took a few years before this symptom alone was seen.
As a survivor of similar atrocities I can say that monsters do not look like monsters. They look like the fun well respected people in the community w a nice smile. People would say “why do you hate your dad? He’s so nice and fun.” Little did they know that that fun cool guy had been raping and torturing his first born daughter (me). It’s a good lesson to not let your guard down no matter how someone looks
Some abusers make sure to project a perfect image. I also learned about false memories and therapists who were… frankly planting false memories of satanic abuse into peoples brains under hypnosis around the time this woman would have been 37.. I’m not invalidating her story but this video did make me think of that.
"Any chance you get be kind to children" 😭😭 This woman is an absolute saint.
Also tough as nails, going through all that and still managing to live an average life after her childhood
@@Mr_Noob-jp8nv thanks!
@@maryknight4450thank you for sharing your experience ❤
I literally CANNOT understand how people could do such disgusting things to their OWN children and make their children suffer. It's so incomprehendable! Mary is so unbelievably strong!
@@gg_ingy not saying all satanists or luciferians are like that, but following satan makes some people do some of the most evil things imaginable or unimaginable. From my perspective, it's better to be with God in the mighty name of Jesus of Nazareth the Christ, than to be without Him or some other spiritual being.
@@gg_ingy all children deserve parents, but not everybody is meant to be a parent. Especially in these end of days.
Because they rejected God and enjoy Satan, he wants us dead.
@Andrés Mcguire-Buckley I'm in the actual spiritual Satanist community and I have never encountered anyone in it whom would harm a child. We do rituals to make ourselves happy or improve at things, mostly.
@@yoyohayli you and the others of your community are an exception, I did say earlier: "not saying all satanists or luciferians are like that".
16:25 "Many people in this organization are accused parents" that line made me gasp. Practically a whole organization created to gaslight victims of abuse into thinking that their memories are false.
Trash 🗑 🚮 parents & the people that support them.
That is exactly what I was thinking
these people are exactly the reason why victims of this type of abuse are doubted
They had to find a way to gaslight the victims. States were passing laws so that accused child molesters could be sued. "False memories" was the idea they came up with. Decades earlier Freud came up with--the accusations are sexual fantasies. That wouldn't work today. Probably.
Does she have any proof of this statement though? Big accusations to throw at people who disagree with a view.
"She's mine, I can do what I want." Wow. That is horrifying. I'm glad she survived. "You tell what happened." Oh god. That women's last act was to give a little girl a reason to live.
This shit didn’t happen
@@jbarbeau92 why do you think that? Is it so unreasonable to see how shitty some people are? Have you not seen how many horrific things happen every day?
@@jbarbeau92 you definitely don't know that, unless you have proof it didn't happen always treat it as it has. This type of behavior of yours kills people, and unless you're a sicko psychopath quit saying stuff like this...
@@axeonee Just ignore him, youtube trolls say stuff like this because they're just attention seeking. It's quite sad honestly
What happened to her parents
It’s deeply tragic how she initially remembered the kitten murder memory as her being thrown as a child, it shows how empathetic she was as a child witnessing such cruelty and how she felt their pain
He told her it would be her body thrown against the wall. She Is empathetic, it's just, i dont think it was all empathy, it was his threat
When she said ‘I wanna stay here with the good people’ even if that meant dying with them in a burning house… that made a lump in my throat 🥺
thanks
I strongly believe her wishing that because having such traumatic experiences in such a young age means you stop realizing the difference between good or wrong, specially when your parents are involved in the wrong side.
She should be proud of herself for breaking the cycle and protecting her kids, what a kind, strong and wonderful woman. I don't know her but I'm genuinely filled with so much pride
She is really very strong
thank you
As someone who wants to be a juvenile probation officer “you can save a child’s life even if you can’t rescue them” has me tearing up
It's true... I hope and I pray over your future so that you may love what you do, with a strong heart and a brave mind. Good luck and I am so grateful you have a strong heart to even want to do something so vital and wonderful 🥺😍🙏
I remember the female officer that just happened to need the restroom when I was taking a "break" during my interview process, after my abuse. She didn't say a word, but I knew she was in there to make sure I wasn't trying to leave the planet. I didn't want her to get blamed for anything that would of happened to me. She didn't deserve that. I went back to the interview instead. Now my life is so much better. I'm glad she was there. Being there is enough, sometimes. Thank you for choosing to just be there.
Have you considered public defense work instead?
as a preschool teacher, I have to agree
@@greengal111796 I do have my bachelors degree in criminal justice. I just want to find the right fit. I don’t to work somewhere where they can’t interact with the kids and honestly try to help them
My mom had a very similar story. Buried alive with a corpse & a breathing tube, raped by most of the men she knew growing up, forced to do other things that I won’t list here. We lost her in 2020. She was 74. I so wish there was a way for me to investigate and learn more. Her story could make for a horror movie. So many unbelievable things. So many mysteries. Such a tortured life…and she was a brilliant woman, the most loving mother I ever could have had. Many of her memories came back during counseling with our pastor when I was very young. She was in her early 40’s.
So awful 😢 There is evil in this world. We are in the midst of a spiritual warfare and people can believe it or not, it’s here. Good versus evil. We have this illusion that life is supposed to be perfect so no one talks about the bad things or says the bad things are all made up. I pray you find answers God bless hun❤
@@realpocahontas1776also way too many people that use religion and Jesus to justify their evil and to manipulate people into thinking it’s ok
What country are you from? Are you from the USA? Do you keep in contact with your moms family maybe hou can ask them about this.....
Your poor Mum. ♥️💐
@@bodgiepotbuddahid guess most of her family was behind the abuse, though.
As a camp counselour, what both of you said about children is sooo true. Just being kind to kids, any time we can, can be so crucial.
yes
I am so glad she made the point that forgiveness is not necessary. Too often have I been told to forgive the people who have done harm to me in order to let go and move on. I do not need to forgive those who feel no wrong in what they have done to me. Not everyone deserves forgiveness and I have been able to move on without giving it.
Don't get me wrong thats a great thing. Unfortunately she may be a victim of a whole different kind of abuse. Her therapist -- the one that did the memory recollection thing -- was more than likely just putting false memories into her head. Keep in mind this was during the satanic panic. Check out Mikey atkins she explained it better on her teal swan video and is an actual therapist unlike myself.
If you don’t forgive you carry a part of them with you forever, call it karma, attachment, letting others have power over you or whatever, only when you can unattach from those who hurt you Can you truly be free from them. But hey, nobody said you need to un-attach, it’s not good or bad, it just is. But it doesn’t change the fact you’re not gonna let go until you forgive. So if you don’t wanna let go maybe you’re not ready yet or maybe you’ll never be, if might cause you suffering in the long run, but it’s not right or wrong, it’s just a choice you make. Maybe you don’t want to stop suffering or stop giving control to other people, that’s not for others to decide. Think of it like you carry someone’s weight over your shoulders, you can get strong and learn to live with it, but it doesn’t change the fact you still carry it. You can also get rid of that weight and forget about it forever and not be affected by it again, to move on can be to learn to survive despite it… or to finally let go and free yourself from it, it’s up to you in the end And yeah I say so from experience and after studying Buddhism, philosophy psychology and psychoanalysis, it’s what I finally realized after so many years of believing the same thing you do, there’s a reason why EVERYONE says it, it’s like “if you love them set them free” and those other phrases everyone says but no one knows why, there’s a lot of nuance behind it
As a survivor of child abuse, I believe personal healing and acceptance is more valuable than forgiveness.
FACTS
this is so true
The story about the black man and his family has me in tears. It's sad that we don't know who these people are and she can't report it because she doesn't know where it happened. Those people deserve to be known too.
I hope that maybe somebody in that family is still alive and knows what happened to their family members. Maybe this will reach them, who knows?
It seems like they are all thankfully dead. At least thats smth :/
@@Jasmine-ow9og I thought more like extended family/descendants who know their family members died in a suspicious way and maybe know some circumstances
It’s fucking made up, don’t worry.
The saddest part is what people are willing to believe with no corroborating evidence. This is why people are still in the process of being acquitted today after spending decades in jail from the first wave of the satanic panic. Example- John Quinney was just exonerated a few short months ago after spending 25 years in prison and the time since as a registered sex offender based on satanic panic accusations in 1991.
My grandma has experienced similar torture and abuse from her family and religiuous members, along with dozens of cult sacrifice cerimonys, she developed DID (dissociative Identity Disorder) which kept splitting with each life shattering traumatic event, they kept happening and her brain kept developing seperate personalities to cope with the trauma. Once the trauma and abuse stopped, she started going to therapy and bettering herself etc, she learned she had over 100 personalities from the trauma. She has never written or spoken publicly about it, not because she doesnt want it to get out, but because the stories and horrors she witnessed would never be believed. Its terrible, but things like this happen so much more often than people would think. BE SAFE OUT THERE, THE WORLD CAN BE A SCARY PLACE!
Her purpose then is to tell that somehow to people, it will find a way to who need it trust me, they believed it, it has so many people whose thinking that, you won't believe it how many, so try it, with faith in God everythings gonna be fine 🫶🪬📿🧿☝️🥰
P.a
OMG my grandma went through the EXACT same situation!!!
@Kalis655 I think I might ask her in a couple years about writing about it or documenting it, I don't want to push her she's in a really good spot and I wouldn't want those terrible traumas to resurface
@@aubrey2366 wow really! That's wild and unfortunate, I hope she's doing well!
The pure strength she has to do these interviews... the false memory foundation sounds like a super villain league, and she brought a camera. Powerful woman
thanks
"We don't need to rescue children, we need to save them by being gentle to them ". What a great human being
By saving a children what are you doing ? You’re rescuing them right ?…… right?
@@patoteto2 Watch the video to understand haha
That's not what she said. She said "You can save a child's life even if you can't rescue them.". There's a big difference. And yes, you can save another's life, whether it's a child or an adult, by being kind and gentle.
“I don’t want other victims to compare their trauma to me” comforts me in the worst way. I don’t remember a lot of my trauma, but I’m almost sure it wasn’t this and there was a part of me that went “see, you haven’t gone through anything like that, how could you be this messed up?” Thank you for this video, and thank you for not making me feel like I’m faking my issues just because I wasn’t in a cult.
I'm glad you got the message I wanted to give. YOUR healing is important, no matter what you experienced. I send you my comfort and my concern. Take care of YOU.
I don’t know where I picked it up, but I always say “whether you’re drowning in 10ft of water or 100ft of water, you’re still fighting for your life”
I've been feeling this shame and guilt as well and when she said that I started crying because that means so much to survivors. I've only just begun my healing journey and it's so hard somtimes...
@@maryknight4450 Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for what happened to you and thank you for showing us that there is light at the end of our healing journey. Thank you for your courage.
People like to play the Pain Game; comparing their struggles to others. An attempt to use their suffering to one up someone else, as if it's something to brag about. I hate the Pain Game. I will never play it. Your suffering may not be as "bad" or "intense" as someone else's in their opinion. But your suffering was real. It IS real. My best example is my menstrual cramps. Women try to compare their menstrual pain. I as a woman do not. I am aware that mine is extreme, but that's my normal. But what is MY normal, is NOT another woman's normal. I know that pain. And she is in pain. And I will use my familiarity to comfort her. Your trauma may not be as "bad" as some may think. But did you go through it? Did you survive? Are you surviving now? You pushed through so much. And no one can take that away. Your trauma hurt you. Just like someone else's trauma hurt him/her. Your pain is real. Your suffering happened. But your recovery will happen too.
I have PTSD and had/have repressed memories. I once told my therapist I wish I'd never recovered those memories. She then told me "No, you wish it had never happened. But it did." That was so hard to hear, because it's true, but sadly we can't change history. I also agree forgiveness is not necessary, I will never forgive. I can accept, but never forgive. It kind of puts the responsibility in the victims hands.
I applaud you for taking the necessary steps to heal. I hope everything goes smoothly in your process 💖
@@RoyalPurpleDinosaur thank you x
take care of yourself, my fellow survivor.
My husband is a survivor of occult ritualistic and sexual abuse from his mother, aunts and uncles, and cult members. It's a miracle he survived after the beatings, cuttings, rape, and poisoning. I feel for this woman.
thanks
I hope your husband is happy now and cut off from those horrible people. My heart is breaking as I'm thinking of an innocent little boy who would at the time think that was normal. You're honestly a saviour to him for understanding and loving him no matter what he's been through ❤❤
thanks for your comments!
❤
The first time I brought a family member into a therapy session, it was my mom. We were discussing the abuse I faced as a child with the therapist and my mom brought up a time my dad had pressed my face into the wooden floor with his knee for minutes so hard one side of my head was entirely purple. I was stunned listening to her, I could not remember ANY of this. Later on when I tried my hardest to think back to those days, I remember one morning putting on makeup for the first time to go to school and not knowing how to apply any of it. I later realized I had been trying to cover up the bruises and my mom confirmed this memory was correct. It's insane the things our brain is capable of to protect us.
Why didn’t your mother take you away from this terrible abuse
@@daisybuttercup6801usually it isn’t just as simple as that, the mother could be dependant on the father for money or housing which is common- and plus the mother could’ve been experiencing abuse too
@@hime8903 that’s no excuse , she could have run away with her children to a police station, or a refuge centre , someone would have protected them. These mothers who let child abuse happen are cowards.
@@daisybuttercup6801 very easy to criticise when your not in that situation, in a ideal world you would be correct but some people are trapped in their abuse by reasons such as fear or lack of understanding
@@daisybuttercup6801 you clearly have never been in such a situation..
can we please give anthony credit for being so incredibly respectful. he is so good at making his interviewees comfortable even when it’s a horrible, heart wrenching conversation.
That was on my mind as well. He’s good at what he does. He needs a late night show, get rid of the unprofessional goobers on tv now.
He also so strong to be able to hear out all of these story’s for multiple of episodes all for the sake of helping people find a voice
She is amazing to be able to tell her story
Most definitely - my hat off to you Anthony for holding such sacred space for Mary to tell her story and change lives. You helped her reach out to people she couldn't have touched otherwise. Beautiful unity community sharing.
Yes, he's wonderful. Like the son everyone wishes they had.
This woman is kind, strong, intelligent, courageous, and loving. She gives off such good energy, I'm in awe. What a wonderful woman.
thanks
@@maryknight4450 Thanks for sharing your story and strength with others. Fantastic work. 🙏🏾 Blessings
Mary is a beautiful, _beautiful_ soul. I appreciate her kindness, her courage and her honesty about what she's been through ❤ Thank you, Mary. From the bottom of my heart....and from all the other survivors, _thank you!_
Many drs don’t believe this woman and the treatment she used can I plant false memories many drs outright speak out against this controversial treatment as it caused people to believe false memories. In the 90s Satanic panic happened due to the amount of people recalling false memories, Anthony should really rethink how he portrays these people stories with zero evidence as the truth :/
Amen
thanks
her comment about feeling confused when her study session with her teacher was over because she was expecting something bad to happen or for him to hurt her because she was so used to the adults in her life hurting her that when he didn’t, it didn’t feel normal… oh my god, that breaks my heart. what a remarkably strong lady ❤️
thank you
I feel like this with my partner sometimes. He's amazing, kind and my best friend. But still, sometimes I brace myself for the verbal or physical assault because that's what I experienced with my parents.
@Mary Knight god bless you I have so much respect and love for you I'm so sorry for what you have been through may god protect you in every way amen ,your so strong and brave xx❤
@@holovoid3306 Omg, the way I struggled with this same thing. Everything is much better now, tho. I'm so glad u also found someone that's so good to u!!!!
It’s so eerie seeing pictures of Mary with her parents knowing all this
Yea- I was actually chilled honestly, it was almost too real for me 😢
The one with her father and how he's smiling at her and she looks uncomfortable as well, its truly disgusting
i know, they seem so normal. its crazy imagining these psychotic things happening in the 50s/60s/70s
Or the Dali Lama as of late lol
“And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.” - Corinthians 11:14-15
I admire how she's so collected. She definetly had a lot of work to do on her mental health and she did it well.
It's absurd to me how someone could disregard suppressing memories in PTSD. I'm in a delicate situation, I keep having to interact with my abusers while some memories are already unlocking, so I'm trying to navigate the old ones while I can't help but still suppress new ones. Anyway, I'm so glad she's getting the chance to tell her story and is now leading a happy life, and I'm glad you're creating this understanding and safe space Anthony
I’m wishing you the best ❤ and hope your situation improves!! you’re very strong, remember not to be too hard on yourself
@@pop8226 thank you a million❤️ luckily I've finally found a support system and I hope to change my situation as soon as possible
Hey I hope things are okay with you. I’m sending love to you and I hope you are able to be in a safe place soon❤
@@allyssach omg thanks so much ❤️ sometimes it's hard but I'm finding my reasons to stay hopeful
I was molested by a doctor and it's been difficult to deaal with because I don't have clear memories and i repressed the memories for so long. It is so meaningful to see people like Mary Knight validate these memories when even you yourself doubt.
I'm so sorry you were put through that, and thank you for sharing. You are stronger than you know❤❤
❤ ikr
But isn’t there therapy and hypnosis? It could be really beneficial. I do a lot of work with my inner child. I had so many revelations.
@@M1985- hypnosis doesn’t work on everyone.
@M1985- not everyone wants to remember. For some it can be more damaging to remember even. Focusing on the emotions and lingering pain is more important
Dissociation is real. I know! I’ve hardly my memories in my life due to abuse This woman is a pure soul and she is phenomenal
Great story, I have always felt compelled to pursue knowledge and power in order to contribute to the betterment of humanity. Been seeking a means to be influential and find out more knowledge about the human race and about the things not everyone is destined to know. I wish to fulfill the goal of enlightenment passed down by our forebears.
I can totally relate to your passion, if all that is what you desire then i think it's achievable. Joining the Illuminatus Brotherhood can lead to the enlightenment you seek and more. I am well aware that the idea of this group may sound mythical but it is possible to join.
@@bartholetbay412 Hi, isn't the brotherhood a myth? I mean sometimes i just feel like it's all just a conspiracy theory.
@@Margart526 Yeah I acknowledge that misunderstanding can occur when people encounter what they don't fully grasp, especially in this internet era. The Illuminatus advocates for the acceptance of all religions. You can look up "Anthony Szymon". Will give you clarity and answers to any questions you might have.
@@bartholetbay412 oh really, i just saw his website, which is interesting. I will leave him a message.
Yeah i do sometimes feel that too, prolly not exactly but i can totally relate.
the quote that she said at her father's grave "God is the only father I've ever had because fathers are protective" made me stop in my tracks. I have never thought about that ever before and I love how her faith is so present in her life even after everything she's been through
thank you
I think it’s powerful, especially considering her parents believed in the other guy. Mary you’re a true inspiration ❤
I know I was worried she would become traumatized of crosses and Jesus in general after what she witnessed from such a young age, but I'm glad it helped build her faith even more!
she is so strong and incredibly brave!
How can you believe in a god protecting you when you went through this. You got lucky you didn't get murdered.
I can’t imagine what she’s been through. Moral of the story, all kids deserve parents, not every parent deserves kids. ❤
very few parents deserve kids
A lot of this she likely hasn't been through. She may believe it, or think she remembers it, but there's absolutely no verifiable evidence that "satanic ritual abuse" exists. She's part of the satanic panic in the 80s and 90s.
@@alimhamad6532 That's a glass half empty way of looking at it with no evidence or statistics
@@pinkrosegurl6987 it’s true tho lol . majority of parents aren’t ready to have children think they are but aren’t . don’t give them enough ir too little attention , don’t feed them in a proper schedule , don’t take care of basic needs , curse around their newborns smoke around them do drugs, arguing , fighting and this is surface level can be much worse … shaking beating leaving shit in their diaper for hours causing rashes and much much worse ..people don’t realize they’re actually susceptible to stuff at all ages regardless of if their memory is strong . it can cause long term affects and majority of people have been messed up by their parents in some way whether they realize it or not , the way they act their decision making is all affects from trauma unknown or known . in some cases can cause full on severe mental health issues like multi personality , bipolar , chronic depression and many many many other things .
@pink rose gurl Nah so many of the people I know went through abuse by their parents. Even myself.
I’m a psychology student and this syndrome is just so fascinating, I studied this topic in a module last semester and find it so interesting. I had to share this video with my psychology group chat. I am so sorry that you went through this, I am so happy you came through the other side stronger and happier
Syndrome? You mean repressed memories? There was a big controversy about false memories of satanic abuse in the 80’s and 90’s being triggered by psychotherapists and hypnosis. While it is possible to repress memories, something this big seems incredibly unlikely. I believe she believes it but without any shred of evidence, it’s hard to believe such stories. Knowing what we do about false repressed memories and satanic panic.
What syndrome? Survivor syndrom? Wtf?
Child sexual abuse including that organised by groups of adults, is not a syndrome. It is a fact of torture and cover up. It happens in school, sports buildings, in the back room of pubs, in ordinary houses, in cellars, in forests, underground tunnels/spaces. It happens in hospitals and all sorts of places.
@@BeeBlot yea idk either
thanks
Mary is right - kindness really helps… because you never know what people are going through, children or adults. Thank you for sharing your story, salute!
her saying the part about not comparing trauma is so comforting for me, i don’t remember an entire year of my life but i know what happened and why i don’t remember it but she is so amazing and i wish i was as strong as mary
Hey I don’t know anything about your circumstances, but I hope you realize that just by surviving that you are strong. Things get rough, but just like trauma, strength isn’t something to be compared
@@lilylohmann614 that means so much to me, thank you so much
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you know that you are stronger than you think! It will take time, and I hope only the best for you on your journey to a healthy life!
Yes. A lot of people almost see it as a competition or feel like they can’t be suffering if someone else is going through things too. But that’s just not true and it can destroy you as a person. We must go through more to feel this way? No you do not need to validate your abuse or justify the lingering trauma. The message she sends is incredible. A truly inspirational woman
i have awful memory problems... they say its a symptom of ptsd but it does not make it easy to deal with. i have kinda lost hope that i would ever get help so i just accept that my memories are gone and i try to stay in the moment. i wish you all dealing with trauma strenght, its gonna be ok.
She is right to speak about it. It needs to be spoken about. My older brother SA me when I was 4-6/7 and he was 16. He did the same thing to our cousin, she was 5 and he was 21. She’d just had her leg amputated from cancer. It was the worst time of my life. I’m 42 now and I’m finally speaking out. The more it’s talked about the more people will realize this is an issue that is too often swept under the rug. Families would rather keep it a secret than to be associated with a known pedophile and be the target of backlash. That’s the sad fact.
I am so sorry I hope you healed ❤ No one ever deserves that and I hope you got justice
Nothing is more brave than speaking up. I haven’t been brave enough to speak up or report about it but seeing stories like yours make me feel safer to do it. We’re in this together 💖
Same thing happened to me. I’m 18 now, and my brother molested/SA me multiple times between the ages of 6-9 when he was 15-18. I totally relate to the sweeping under the rug. I told my parents what happened, and I genuinely do believe they think they’re doing the best thing for me by keeping this a secret but idk.
@@GreyWithAnE42fuck I hope your brother is in jail one day. don’t be afraid to go forward (once you’re ready in your own time) as you’re an adult now and are separate from your parents
@@presleysmith6779 in the middle of healing and no justice.
the blood boiling anger that i felt throughout this episode thinking "How can a human do this to other beings" is......... impossible to calculate.
Look up some cartel videos.
Humans aren’t far from animals it’s a spectrum those more evil are on the animalistic side of the spectrum and the good people are more on the humane side more civilized side where we have grown
Well, I think you'd be "happy" to know that this story is bs. It's just parroting the talking points of the satanic panic(if you don't believe me, then read the wikipedia article on it)
They are puppets of the demon, they let them thou 😢
I relate. I didn't experience sra, but I experienced csa and other extreme abuse. I remember my parents watching the news in the 80s when false memory syndrome was used to gaslight victims and how they celebrated the chastisement of those naughty, disrespectful kids who accused their parents of abuse. They always tell on themselves.
Literally 90 seconds in and the gasp of sheer disgust that has already come out of me was loud enough to wake people up. This one is going to be rough. What an INCREDIBLY strong woman to still be sitting there after that kind of trauma.
i know. i don’t know what to say- i’m horrified.
same- i gasped in true freaking horror
My heart is racing 10 mins straight into the video. This poor lady 🥺🥺😭 It sounds selfish to say idk if I can finish this video. She had no choice as a child
@@savvydee123 Please don't watch if if its too triggering for you. Take care of yourself. I put trigger warnings throughout my memoir, most of which is not very triggering. It focuses on how I healed.
@@maryknight4450 true! as you say being kind to yourself is important. and thankyou so much for sharing your story , it was really horrifying what you went through, but seeing how strong and composed you are now is truly inspiring. how psychotherapy helped you is also very interesting, thanks for sharing what worked for you.
Mary has been so strong through so much. She did a documentary where therapists who didnt believe in her lived experiences just told her right to her face that her experiences werent real and that child sexual abuse wasnt that bad ??? and she was so calm and collected. She is such a strong and amazing woman. My prayers go out to her.
thanks
@Mary Knight thank you for sharing your story and being a voice for so many. ❤️
Man, the urge to become a vigilantly grows and grows everyday
Can we line up those therapists and slap them in the face. There needs to be consequences for mental health professionals who betray people that badly. I get it, you want to think the world isn't that bad, it scares you, so it's easier to gaslight the patient in front of you. But buckle up, real life doesn't care if you think it's "impossible". Don't go into that line of work if you can't stand hearing the most horrific things.
@@alexia3552 fr
This is absolutely horrifying to listen to. Thank you Mary for telling your story. And thank you Anthony for hosting this interview.
thanks
@@maryknight4450no way it’s actually you?
@@phantom_wolf5274 yes. its me. I try to read all the comments.
These SRA stories sound completely bonkers. Without proof its hard to believe.
Yeah the idea of repressed memories has been pretty well discounted.
No... It's very real lots of people have experienced the same things... The whole point is people don't believe them because they assume that people aren't this cruel.. but this was very common amongst the elites
People like you are the reason for so much ignorance.
@@JazzjaseyExactly, Well Said
I'm amazed that this woman seems so down to earth and relatively well adjusted. She's a real soldier. It's heartbreaking that things like this happen even to this day.
Many drs don’t believe this woman and the treatment she used can I plant false memories many drs outright speak out against this controversial treatment as it caused people to believe false memories. In the 90s Satanic panic happened due to the amount of people recalling false memories, Anthony should really rethink how he portrays these people stories with zero evidence as the truth :/
A lil too happy
@@HappyHermitt why shouldn't she be? If anyone deserves heaps of happiness, wouldn't it be her?
She's probably suffering from dissociative identity disorder as are most survivors of this kind of abuse. This can make it appear as though someone is more functional than someone with less complex trauma.
Even to this day? Shoot, with the internet, the deep web, online child porn, and people and companies like Epstein and Balenciaga in the world, I'd say it's happening now much more than it was.
When she mentioned that she grew up in the Seattle area it really hit home for me. I grew up in Salem, Oregon a mile away from fairview medical hospital and my ex girlfriend was a caregiver at a halfway house for mentally disturbed people. She had one client that was a victim of satanic ritual abuse in the town I grew up in. She had scars on her body and was completely destroyed mentally and emotionally. This could have very well happened in the same circle of people somewhere near Salem, Oregon.
Many drs don’t believe this woman and the treatment she used can I plant false memories many drs outright speak out against this controversial treatment as it caused people to believe false memories. In the 90s Satanic panic happened due to the amount of people recalling false memories, Anthony should really rethink how he portrays these people stories with zero evidence as the truth :/
Just like spiked Halloween candy there’s been no actual cases of satanic rituals only made up crap that caused a panic in religious groups
I grew up in Oregon. I'm only now knowing that Oregon ad Washington gave some of the worst sundown Towns in the u
P
I have been to Salem too ❤️
When Mary said she didn’t want survivors to compare their experiences to hers, I couldn’t help but think, “but what I went through is *nothing* compared to what happened to you.” I went through something quite bad for a few months in 2019 and I’ve been told I have PTSD from it. I feel stupid even accepting that, though, because I know people go through so much worse. The fear I have is that if I don’t acknowledge it, will it come out in me sometime later? I was 24 then and I’m 28 now and I’m doing okay, but sometimes I wake up in the night terrified and I *know* it’s because of what happened to me. Sorry if I’m being vague or just dumb x
Many drs don’t believe this woman and the treatment she used can I plant false memories many drs outright speak out against this controversial treatment as it caused people to believe false memories. In the 90s Satanic panic happened due to the amount of people recalling false memories, Anthony should really rethink how he portrays these people stories with zero evidence as the truth :/
Your own healing is important, too. Please take care
@@lagoya thank you, that’s very kind x
I think that what she meant, and I think that’s an important message, is that just because her story is unbelievably bad, doesn’t mean your problems are worth less. No matter what anyone else went through, if you’re struggling with something, you deserve therapy and help and you deserve to heal. What outside circumstances have pushed you to that point don’t matter. You and your problems matter just as much as Mary and hers.
@@featherofajay4667 thank you 🤍
I love how respectful Anthony is towards her and respects her boundaries and yet still asks good questions.
There's a reason she became a social worker even before she recovered those memories. Her subconscious put her in a position to save children the way she herself, should've been saved. What am amazingly strong human being. And as someone with recovered memories that were also corroborated by other victims it's a VERY real thing.
Exactly, that came to be as well.
I don't know about that ,I PERSONALLY WOULD NOT TRUST WITH ANY KIDS PERIOD, SHE LOOKS DEMONIC ,AND PEOPLE LIKE THAT A LIKELY TO DO IT TO SOMEONE ELSE.
As someone who’s been through extremely MINIMAL trauma compared to this and STILL go through so much PTSD because of that, I can’t imagine what she felt when everything was resurfacing. Memory blockage is absolutely real: me and my mom randomly remember the most insane things about my dad, and just look at each other like “Wow I can’t fucking believe we just thought that was normal at the time.” Peace and love
Bless you, my fellow survivor
@@maryknight4450 You're a hero, spreading your story and seeing you like that. Gives so much strength, because that's how you know. You're not alone.
She even said do NOT minimize.... Trauma is trauma and abuse is abuse. ALL ARE VALID
Please remember, you deserve compassion and gentleness no matter what, there's no minimum threshhold for it to be "enough" to deserve to be treated 100% seriously. It sounds like you are aware of how much hurt it's caused you, and I just want you to hear that it matters, and you matter.
Trauma is never minimal❤
So if it is as she claims i have some questions: Where are the bodies of the people killed? Did no one notice those dead people disapearing? How come no action was taken yet? If so many people were involved, how come no one admitted? Do her relatives remember this aswell? If they do, have they been through the same kind of "therapy" as her? This is geniuenly sketchy, the things she claims to have been through are very extreme, someone would have taken notice.
This is false memory brought on with the help of an over zealous therapist. Her parents, neighbors, church members, funeral directors, police officers... all in on it together? I don't think so. 😊 She did a couple other interviews and her stories don't match up lol.
when they got to the false memory syndrome, i remembered how my parents used to beat me and my siblings when we did something bad, and i started bawling remebering how loud i'd scream and cry when that happened. My family is hispanic and its heartbreaking how many other hispanic children and teens have gone through this because it's normalised in where we're from. And i relaized growing up that that was abuse, they stopped hitting us when we grew older and i do love my parents, they are good people it's just how they were raised, they never got to talk about their feelings to their parents. I don't talk to my mom about my feelings because she is just so brainwashed by christianity and the people who preach about not letting their children disrespect them, rebel against them and to keep forcing them to go to church. Going to church was always a struggle because of how she acted, she forced us to follow this religion and yes i do believe in God but i don't believe in changing my whole being and lifestyle just to follow him. The last time she hurt me most physically and emotionally was when we were going to my little brother baptism and i just aboslutley hate seeing the people from church because i know they judge teenagers alot and me showing up as a girl who hasn't been baptised while my little brother is being baptised i knew i was goona get looks, but my mom came into my room yelling at me to get ready but i looked myself in the bathroom hoping she would leave. she got a key and opened the door and hit up and grabbed me and hit me against the door and then started praying over me acting like i had a demon inside me when i felt so hurt and betrayed at how she chooses Chrisitanity over her family . These memories hurt me so much and i still cry at night when they come to mind...
💖
i’m so sorry that happened to you, you didn’t deserve that.
this woman is so strong to be able to even live through this, let alone talk about it. how sick do you have to be to put your own child through this much psychological torture, and to act this horrifically to innocent people and animals?? i'm in shambles when an animal or person dies of natural causes, let alone seeing them murdered in such cruel and revolting ways. absolutely disgusting. props to you for living on, mary.
@@midnightsan9917 You keep spamming this on every comment and it's getting annoying, lol. It's really not that hard to believe her story with how depraved people can be.
I know. She went literally to hell and back and now she's helping others❤❤
@@LordVader1094 its probably a bot just report it
@@sydneylong2322 not a bot I am trying to stop the spread of disinformation love. She obviously has trauma but it may not be exactly what it seems.
@@LordVader1094 she got memory recollection therapy at around the same time as the satanic panic. Plus recovered memory therapy is unproven at best.
hearing her say that forgiveness isnt necessary for healing gave me the reassurance I needed, too many people say to forgive your abusers but that's the last thing I ever want to do. forgiving would mean at least to me that I'm disrespecting myself, disregarding my feelings and my abuse that I'm letting them get away with it. I needed to hear this, thank you so much
I feel like there’s levels.. some things are forgivable and others should not be ignored no matter how much one has moved on. Being able to move on with your life should not mean forgiving.
Forgiveness IS required. SELF-forgiveness. Otherwise fuck these bastards. This is war as far as some of us is concerned
How can a person truly forgive if you can't forget
Forgiveness is like saying my abuse is ok
Forgiveness is for yourself so your own heart can be pure and clear ! If you carry it around it will turn you bitter you have to let it go through forgiveness ! Doesn’t mean you are friends or invite them round for dinner it just means your own heart is pure !
So interestting how peaceful and wise she sounds. You'd thing someone that got through all of these things would be angry and full of rage but she just isn't. Thank you for telling your story, Mary. Hopefully people will be more aware of the world's evil and be protected.
“I looked at my mom and I really wanted her to care"... I cannot tell you how many times I did the same thing.... One of my most important memories growing up was a teacher in ninth grade... I'd been through so many years of issues I'm not going into right now, but trying to do well in school to live up to the mark held before me, and having so many teachers telling me I wasn't good enough... then this one teacher I admired, gave us a test one day that was all discussion questions.. "explain in detail..." I was so scared of what grade I'd get and then have to explain my failure again.. Big class, but when I finally turned it in, I walked up and handed it to him.. he didn't even look at the answers, just marked an "A" on the test and put it in the stack.... I really count that as a pivotable moment in my life. Being good to children is AMAZING
Yes!
As a victim of 3 types of abuse. I appreciate her saying that it doesnt matter the type of abuse you suffer, it can affect you deeply. Basically saying no ones abuse is any less traumatic than another. It all effects us deeply in different ways, and we're all victims the same. I'm happy she survived, and is thriving. Bless her.
my therapist once said that some people might have a broken toe, and someone else might have a broken leg, but it doesn't make your broken toe any less painful. All abuse is bad, some of it is worse.
Stay Strong ❤
As a survivor of severe sexual abuse, rape and torture by my own father, her words hit home. You just go through the motions simply to survive. Years later certain memories haunt you that you didn’t even know existed. I pray for her healing and hope she knows none of it was her fault.
So proud of you for coming so far!! You deserve infinite love hun ❤❤❤❤
@royal subliminals FCC’s rDrRrRf
❤️❤️
I hope you know it was not your fault either. 💕🫂🙏
🩵wish you the best
My heart shattered to hear people call Mary crazy. She is not and she was put through the most devastating and horrific life events from her own family. Now she loves who she is and lives a great life! She deserves it and she is such a strong person.
Horrors beyond my human comprehension. Very cool. In all seriousness, Mary’s story of survival and recovery is nothing short of the most inspiring thing I’ve ever heard. You go, lady.
As a survivor of childhood SA, I can honestly say that our brains are truly incredible, and suppressing memories is part of a protective mechanism...
Hey I just want to say that you are strong and amazing and that what you have gone through are awful but you are strong and amazing and deserved to be love in a safe way. YOU ARE STRONG!!!❤️❤️
Yes but it's also true what she says that even though your memories might be blocked, the stress is still there. Surviving mechanisms are meant to just get away from a certain thread but when prolonged they take much of a physical toll since even though you don't remember why, your brain still works in trauma response mode. Once you start actively working on healing that trauma it's when you truly start to live. I wish you the best in your journey
Yes. That’s true. Unfortunately, our souls will never forget the feelings.
Yes. Very true. I've experienced it
What kills me is I forget most things still, like now that I'm away from abuse, but after so long my brain got so good at forgetting I'm now having issues remembering anything. And shes so right about the being good to kids, my teachers all had figured out something was wrong, but they just didn't know what, so they'd let me stay late and were super kind honestly if it wasn't for a couple of them I wouldn't have made it.
This was easily the most disturbing episode I’ve ever seen on this channel. Absolutely horrifying what happened, I really think we as a society need to really be more aware of these things happening regularly.
I think as a society we should be teaching more about how our memories work and we should be teaching the history of the satanic panic. We should also be teaching media literacy & research and teach people to be free thinkers/skeptics because it's wild that people just take this at face value considering all we know about this topic
@@basedandsingletpilled928 I don’t disagree that there have been cases of therapists accidentally leading their patients to have false memories. However, there are so many more true cases of childhood abuse like this. I don’t know why you would automatically doubt someone who is telling her story. There is no evidence that her memories are false. On the contrary, she later found out that her cousins have similar memories.
You can see that Anthony was clearly shaken up as well although he was really good at managing it.
It doesn't surprise me that these people went to church every Sunday, that some of their friends who went to murder with them were friends from church (if I'm remembering what I heard correctly). There are some actually evil people in churches, they like to look "good" and pretend that they're doing nothing wrong "because I go to church." Sure sure there are nice people in churches too, but that culture is a breeding ground for some of the most vicious violence and hateful acts. I don't understand it.
@@basedandsingletpilled928 there’s much more proof of abuse and organised abuse, and papers that prove the CIA has done similar things. People want control. People know abuse controls people. That is not so much to get. You’re very privileged to ignore the horrendous abuse that has happened and still happens in the world
She’s a very strong woman
Especially because the reporting system that failed her as a child (with not being able to give location evidence as a kid) is the exact same reporting system children must use today. I know because I lived it, and now the man is in jail for 30 years. Jessica Ladd has a 6 minute ted talk about this from 2016. Please PLEASE advocate to change the reporting system to an information escrow. It would have helped me greatly.
Indeed
💪women
doing so much good fr
During 3rd or 4th grade. When i was around the age of 6 or 7. I had this new student in my class. She was a very nice person. Although she was getting bullied by one of my classmates. I was very young and was also experianced with bullying. I felt extremely bad that i couldn't help but the fear of the same thing happening to me again kept me away from helping her. Not only school was a problem for her. Home too. She used to come to school with new bruises everyday. And find excuses like "oh i fell off my bike." I was young and stupid. I belived her. One day as we were walking home. She started crying and told me how he parents beat her up alot. But at that age i thought it was normal to beat your kids if they do mistakes. Because i used to watch my uncle beat his kids all the time. So i just told her that "my cousin gets beat up too" She then proceeded to get angry at my comment and cried more. "You don't understand" No. I really didn't understand. I didn't know what the word "abuse" even meant. After she left school, i heard her mother died and her father is in jail. She was living with her uncle that's why she changed schools. But, I completaly lost contact of her. I am trying so hard to find her. I am currently 1st year of highschool. I really hope she is doing ok. I remember crying years later when i found out what was actually happening and how i ignored her begging for help. Update September 14th: It's the second week of first year highschool and after YEARS of not seeing her, she ended up being in the same school as me. Life is SO weird.
Honey, you were just a child. You can't blame yourself. This has helped you to be sensitive to children like this. I bet you will wind up helping others.
@@kimheath5238 thank you so much ♥️
One of my friends worked at a school where there were kids that went through ritual abuse. She had to leave because she couldn't take it. The kids act out. They can't help it when they're so young. It's heartbreaking, what they've gone through.
I will never understand how people, especially parents, can treat children this way. It's heart crushing, truly.
Hurt people, hurt other people. They experienced abuse, they pass it on.
@@rensaudadethey aren’t hurt… did you not hear the part about the satanic ritual? Also, you must not be a parent…
@@lillymurray8408 i think you’re misunderstanding them. They’re not excusing the parents’ behaviour, they’re explaining why it happens. Nothing they said was incorrect. Hurt people do hurt people. Mary’s mother was very clearly traumatized by her father. That does not excuse her behaviour though.
@@lillymurray8408Did you even watch the video? Her own parents molested, raped and pimped her. Not all parents should be able to be parents to begin with, sometimes horrible people become parents then are horrible parents to their kids. Satanic or not, no religion or lack there of can excuse abuse like or any kind.
@@TootieFruutie well said
I love that Mary's here replying to comments, still trying to help other survivors. Her statement about not comparing traumas was particularly poignant. I had a friend tell me I didn't need to go to therapy because I wasn't bad enough to need it. What bs. Hate that it delayed my journey but my therapist has been so amazing helping me deal with anxiety and chronic pain
thanks
To anyone tempted to compare trauma--somebody's doesn't have to be LESS than yours for you to matter, for what you've been through to matter. There's no hierarchy. If someone is suffering in any degree, it matters, and you are always worth seeking help to alleviate that suffering and to bring more peace into your life.
What happened to her was so horrific and disgusting and I am so sorry for ANYONE who experienced any form of abuse.
Born of such evil parents (and grand parents) she is such a humane sensitive well-spoken person. Incredible! God bless her.
Repression is real I’m a victim of hard core abuse I was 32 and a mother myself before my memories started coming back. It’s bad enough you experience it But to not be believed and called crazy when you speak on it It’s taboo to mention It’s a very hard life to recover from
What is hard core abuse?
Hope you've had help and support, God bless you for staying strong 🙏
I was 34 when my first repressed memory arose.
@@mrsblume3247 Im sorry im from africa and I cant speak english well
@@BeeBlotdid the memory come to you, or did something trigger it?
She's incredibly brave but can I also say the sheer admiration I have for the black man on the cross? That even in such a terrifying and horrific moment, he pretended to go along with it to try and save the little girl. What a horrible thing for him to experience, and what strength for him to have tried his best 😢
agreed
I can't even process it. An absolutely minimal shred of relief for him specifically is that apparently he didn't live to see her be killed. I don't understand how people can so easily take life and do harm. You can just... not do that.
He is certainly in heaven and I'm sure him and that little girl are friends up there.
@@aurora8749 Oh damn! I made it through and this comment made me tear up.
@@aurora8749 So true.
Thank you so much! I am a survivor of trafficking and satanic ritual abuse and noone believed me for so long not even the cops. I am so grateful that she shared her story. I want to go on to share mine and help others and this gives me hope!
What happened?
Was it your own family too? I'm so sorry. We're they freemason?
@@sashasorensen5945 it was not. It started with a gang. I was on drugs and they kept me drugged most of the time so I couldnt leave and they moved around alot
Anthony, I truly thank you for using your platform to showcase such stories. You may not know how much it means to people like me I thankfully was never in a cult, but I've endured childhood abuse. So having felt one person's kindness shine a light in the dark when I needed it the most, really made me relate to her saying that you need to be kind to kids. And be kind to everyone really, because you don't know whose inner child you may be healing or just whose bad day you're brightening.
You know this is especially serious when anthony doesn't fall through the roof
good point! i was expecting him to start with that.
Anthony is amazing at this. He knows when to talk more, joke around with the people he’s interviewing, and when to simply be there to provide a platform for others to speak. I definitely appreciate his sensitivity to tone and his genuine personality!
@@itsarali a lot of talk show hosts could learn a lot from him.
@@maryknight4450 youre so strong for getting through what you go through, i admire you
Sometimes you hear a story so incredibly evil and heartbreaking you struggle to understand how it’s even possible… This is one of those stories. Wishing Mary healing & happiness ❤️🩹
I hate that any of this is real and would love to bury my head under my pillow and wish it away but that would probably definitely dishonor the human beings that have endured and died from this kind of evil so here I am. I think sometimes the most we can do is to be there and listen. God. I hate this.
@Miranda don't worry, the ritualistic satanic stuff isn't real
Thanks Dana and Miranda!
@@Miranda-cl2ul it's false memories. They talk about them in this video as though we don't all have false memories lol don't worry, this isn't happening to kids. This is just a mass hysteria that's been waxing and waning since the late 1970s. Look into the satanic panic and the daycare sex abuse hysteria. The same psychotherapy tactics that caused them are described in this video. There's a great documentary here on KZhead that actually has clips of those types of therapy sessions - it's called "Memory Wars".
@@artdump6592 Why do you think that? You really think there is no way people can be this sickeningly crazy? Well you are wrong. There are so many sickening things people do. She isnt the only one who experienced something like this, her whole group isnt the only one.
There are no words. What a remarkably strong woman.
As an adult I consciously suppress bad memories. I can totally believe it's possible that children do this subconsciously.
Sad thing is when you suppressed the bad, I've suppressed the good too
@@sherryjohnson3804😢 same
Yes, it's a survival technique. 😢
It's absolutely true. I was r*ped when I was 11 years old and didn't remember it until my first consensual encounter when my boyfriend literally turned into that guy on top of me, I screamed, slapped him in the face, and realized I had felt it before. It really affected me to the point that I am on the asexual spectrum when I wasn't before that. It took me a long time to accept that happened to me and what that meant.
Sometimes I question whether my memories are something that I made up. But I recently spoke with an old friend and she remembers it precisely the same way. So I guess it's just a defence mechanism
I haven't even finished yet but I'm still scared by the fact that humans can be THAT CRUEL I wish her best, she's extremely strong
thank you
The part about forgiveness really got me it reminds me of my relationship with my deseased father and the memories that came back to me after the fact he died and my struggle to forgive him. Thank you for this video.
i appreciate so much the comment of not comparing your experiences and that every hurt is valid because thats something so many victims/survivors struggle with. thank you so much for sharing your story mary, you're heard and loved
Parents please listen. YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY NOR CAN YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THEM. That is why we have CPS OR CYS. Disgusting how some people treat children.
Unfortunately CPS and CYS fails most children.
So many parents view children as their property or as a toy instead of a human being. Like all these influencers using their kids as content
@@lillymurray8408 yeah cause 50% is that they cant do anything cause of bs reason or they just dont do enough to keep children safe or be given to safe people.
@@lillymurray8408 yup
cps has failed my biological sister many times and still continues to..
My mom used to tell me about her trauma like it was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Then when I was victimized by a family member, just like she was, she said “I wish you hadn’t told me.” Then when another male family member tried to do the same years later I told her and once again nothing was done. When I was 19 she told me to “get over it/myself because it’s been 3 years” as she was moving that same family member back into her house. I told her she could pick me or this toxic family shit she’s obsessed with and obviously she didn’t pick me. I’m about to be 23, low contact with her for 3 years, and it took so long to realize that she clearly wanted the same things that happened to her to happen to me. she wanted me to get victimized by a family member like she was and I bet she hoped I’d get pregnant like she did. Maybe it comes from an incessant need to be understood, maybe she hoped she could create some perfect child that could completely understand her, maybe it’s just a product of the grooming she had to have gone thru, whatever the case she not only didn’t protect me she held me over the goddam flames. I’m glad to see that things so terrible are able to be overcome, seeing Mary do so well after everything is inspiring. I hope I can turn my experience into a positive story as well one day.
You are so brave, thank you for sharing your story. What a terrible experience to have I'm so glad you were able to get out of that situation. I hope you are living very well now! (also, I'm MCR trash too:) )
You made a great observation on her perhaps wanting you to have the same traumas she had so you could be her perfect child. I assume she felt lonely in her prison and wanted someone as broken as her to share her cell forever.
There is so much said, when one draws a line for abuse from their mother. I think you're really brave that you validated your own being and said 'im not gonna let that happen to me' eventough you understand what hat happened to her. I know and understand my mothers abuse and trauma's. And yet she never protected me, or strenghtened me for the dangers of the world and their predetors. It isnt untill recently, where i finally understood she had been gaslighting me all my life and will continue to do so. And it isnt untill now and in my 30's where ive decided 'i dont need that in my life' it had been hard and terrible and im done with that. But its hard to explain, why i wont see or contact my mother anymore becUsr people feel the need to remind you, thats she is your mother and she loves you...while clearly we know otherwise ❤
My mom to was molested by a family member. When my grandfather tried to molest my sister and we told her. She kept there for weeks until we had a visit with my dad. I accidentally let slip to the court mediator. When my grandfather died a made an off hand joke. I was attacked on line by my uncles wife and my mom's best friend. They called me names demanded I take it down, etc. My mom said nothing because she was hoping to get part of the inheritance that went just to my uncles. I'm finally now dating it.
Sorry to hear that. I'm a mother of 3 girls so one of them a few years back tried to tell me but she was misunderstood because half of us taugh she had a nightmare. Then few years later the 3 came out and told me they had been molested by my husband ( stepfather) they are adults and 2 years before this came out they had agreed for me to Mary him. So you can imagine how I felt. I felt betrayed from both sides. Feelings are understandable but even with those feelings I opted for seperation. Because my daughters come first. I am trying harder to be a better mother and less a woman. They are much better they are joyful none depressed girls because They have God and me to lean on. I also have the support of my parents. I'm am 42 years old I was with this man for 13 years so I realy taught he was there as a father. I only live for my God and children that's it.
This was one of the most difficult things hear. I hear your story and I know how you survived and I am very proud of you. I am glad you are living a good life now.
Flashbacks of abuse memories are overwhelming. I'm surprised she's so composed. She must have done a lot therapy.
Yes. I did a lot of therapy!
i hope anthony is taking care of himself , it can’t be easy to here these stories
So true
I agree man, apparently its possible to develop ptsd from other peoples stories. I knew a dude who worked with fire fighters and they would all tell him their worst stories as a type of debriefing therapy. Dude struggled with alcohol for a long time after
@MrFangsAlot You know mental illness is tricky right? Just coz he has a portrait of himself doesn’t mean he isn’t struggling one way or another. Don’t downplay people’s illness because of possessions
Its a lot harder living them. I hope Mary is taking care of herself.
It is like the psychologists that have mandatory hours with other psychologists so they could "discharge" because hearing those type of situations isn't light on their soul.
as a social worker, this person is an icon she is probably the strongest and most admirable person i have ever witnessed. she should be so proud that she has progressed to this degree
you look so young 😭
I don’t work in any psychology field, and I have been burning to know: could you tell me more about how the psychology community thinks of Ms. Knight, and how we should talk about the trauma someone has uncovered, if someone talks about having uncovered memories of satanic abuse? Just as some reference, I want folks to be believed and to live happy and confident lives, but I’m struggling with the idea of satanic abuse being real and being impossible.
You look 10 years old
@@nodidb3976 she looks like she’s 20 wearing a filter
@@zzz7583 maybe you are right...
I could see Anthony becoming emotional and appalled. God bless her and I hope Anthony is well after being effected by these stories
Oh my goodness, such a harrowing story, but so necessary to speak up about! Thank you ❤❤❤
The smile on her face when she says she's so much happier now is the BEST PART of this interview. I'm proud of her for trusting herself, and I'm proud of everyone that's become part of her support system.
Thank you so much for interviewing her. This interview was so triggering in the best way. My family went to a cult that was disguised as a church when I was a child and I was sex trafficked by my aunt and uncle for a short period of time and experienced ritualistic sexual abuse as well and seeing this brings me hope knowing my family and I are not alone. The main fear I've always had, that keeps me from being more open about my abuse is that no one will believe me because the abuse was so disgusting and unbelievable. I was also told that some of my memories could have been metaphorical but they were indeed, very real, my siblings had the same memories proving it really happened. I'm so grateful that ritualistic sexual abuse and sex trafficking is being brought to the light. It's a horrible thing that happens far more than people know. Thank you again!
I believe you and other survivors, too. I'm disgusted at the fact that so many people still don't believe that satanic ritual abuse is a thing.
So sorry this happened to you. Sending you hugs ❤️🩹😢
I have been listening to stories like this for the past 7 years. I believe you and I believe SRA happens all the time and has been going on all around us for centuries. It’s very hard to listen to and makes me so angry.
thats exactly why these abusers do the insane ritualistic abuse. so no one will believe it.
Praying for you 🥺
This was incredibly inspirational especially the part about not having to forgive but to learn how to be at peace and move on your own way in your own time. Thank you for sharing! And the just be kind to children, cause you never know the impact you are having just by being kind. ❤❤
I'm going thru remembering this kinda stuff happening to me ATM. I've literally had memories of hypnosis being used. And I have handlers coming to my door trying to use old hypnotic cues to get me to forget. But I don't have any evidence. So. I'm just dealing with it on my own. It's true as well, when you open the door. It's hard to close it. I really appreciated this. It's been a tough day.
My husband blocked alot of his childhood memories even simple ones. His sister told him about so many things they went through and how the mom treated them. He almost had a panic attack realizing he couldn't remember years from his child hood. Like a big gap in his life.
Does he even WANT to remember?
Same. I’m 43 and can’t remember my childhood other than a few flashes of of scenes, maybe seven of them altogether. Are you saying you CAN remember your whole childhood?
It is a protective measure by the brain to keep the individual from suffering overwhelm and damage. It happens in severe grief too.
@clairerousseau5759 I can't remember my whole detailed childhood but I can remember since I was perhaps 3 to 4 years old and from there a memory from each passing year. He can't remember a big gap of his childhood and most are related between he was abandoned by his mom for 3 years. He can't remember things that happened during the time with her. Anyways I'm just saying to him to find out about that caused him bad emotions.
@@alicevill2259 I hope he gets better. Now I think something is wrong with me because I hardly remember anything from childhood. I thought that was everyone’s experience…I guess not.
The words from that woman in the burning house were so moving. Even as she was dying she wanted to support Mary and give her a sense of her future.
So tragic 💔 😞 😢 😪 that black family was wiped out all so some kkk weirdos could get their jollies off...And to think people believe black Americans don't deserve reparations is baffling🤯🤯🤯🤯
She saw her spirit and knew she wasn’t bad like them. 🤍
My trauma memories started to surface mid-30's as well. That seems to be the age where it comes up for a lot of people.
Me too and what I’m remembering ….: I really choose not to believe, I cannot accept it 😢
The abuse this poor lady went through is one of the worst I’ve heard. I don’t know how she was able to overcome it.