Just put it IN the dishwasher... #MichaelMcIntyre #Compilation #Relationships Website: www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk/ Facebook: / themichaelmcintyre Twitter: @McInTweet
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I loved how he referred his wife to last year's card to find all the "sweet" things he wanted to say to her. I was married for almost 31 years before my husband died but we had been married about 15 years and I asked him (why do women always do this?) "Why don't you tell me you love me?" (I knew he did because his actions said he did but I just wanted the words.) He said, "Well, I've told you I love you in the past, right?" I said, "Yes". He said, "Well if I ever change my mind I'll let you know."
@maryannanderson75174 жыл бұрын
Omg that's brilliant lol
@briannasumbillo16584 жыл бұрын
Haha
@eirikmurito4 жыл бұрын
That's brilliant. Sorry for your loss
@daisylouise55014 жыл бұрын
Ahahaha!!! Gold!! 👍🤣
@piperuk53664 жыл бұрын
That's so amazing.. ❤
@maeking52684 жыл бұрын
"cause I'm throwing it in and sometimes I miss...." Hahaha lmao 😂
@CovidConQuitTheCensorship4 жыл бұрын
Passionate Picker I always do that 😂😂😂 and I try again until I actually get it in 😂😂😂
@victoriaparker20234 жыл бұрын
Victoria Parker - My ex husband would do this, leave his clothes on the floor near the laundry basket. I could never figure out why. Now I know 😂
@CovidConQuitTheCensorship4 жыл бұрын
Kinda expected that same line to come with the dish washer one ngl "Honey, why do you you always put the plates next to the dishwasher, not in the dish washer? They dont get washed if their just *next* to it!" "...well I'm throwing it in!"
@martinthewarrior50164 жыл бұрын
Everyone who lives with someone who does this, ie, not put dirty clothes in the laundry basket should do one thing: JUST LEAVE IT THERE DON'T TOUCH IT DON'T WASH IT DON'T TIDY IT DON'T PUT IT WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE they will soon run out of clean clothes to wear and when they inquire as to where a particular item of clothing is... your response will be, "where did you leave it?" Motto of the story: If it isn't in the basket it doesn't get washed!
@martinen.50253 жыл бұрын
This is my boys...
@Tanias1123 жыл бұрын
LIKE HOW HE USES HIS FIRST JOKE TO FINSH THE LAST JOKE !!!
@sharonmendes52724 жыл бұрын
That's one of the oldest stand-up writing tricks in the book mate. This guy's painting by numbers and everyone calls him a "genius"... Bizarre.
@AD-kv9kj4 жыл бұрын
Austin Dyer well at least he makes people laugh
@amywarren82134 жыл бұрын
@@AD-kv9kj SO go do it yourself if it is so easy
@wynwilliams69774 жыл бұрын
It's called a call back. It's something most successful comics do
@VRDennis4 жыл бұрын
It's so cheap it's not even funny. I feel dirty when I use it, there's no skill. Its cheap but it works, like selling your soul to the devil.
@timbradshaw54814 жыл бұрын
Well..his wife is right on pretty much everything 🤣
@mirkovalli13974 жыл бұрын
Yes
@johnstew86173 жыл бұрын
Except spontaneity. She clearly meant the opposite.
@hfyaer9 ай бұрын
"The only thing you clear in this house on a regular basis is your internet history and it's disgusting" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@ThornGroves4 жыл бұрын
What monster opens a new milk when theres one already one open??!!!
@chaniefeldmanLevin4 жыл бұрын
I know!So annoying
@karenwangari40574 жыл бұрын
honestly? it's never mentioned as to whether the milk left over is still good or just only good for making buttermilk biscuits. if the milk moves more like sludge than liquid, then i'd go with the bigger question of why he didn't just chuck it.
@kstormgeistgem4614 жыл бұрын
Are you his wife?
@thetruth33164 жыл бұрын
Chanie Feldman-Levin I live w one who opens new everything before the old one is finished.
@mckavitt4 жыл бұрын
My 19 year old son...
@antoniajane54424 жыл бұрын
The dishwasher part is so relatable.
@jipke4 жыл бұрын
@Mister Physics I know what you're talking about, mate, been there. But I was actually referring to the wife bending over and then me groping her lovely butt.
@jipke4 жыл бұрын
@@jipke haha , YES,.. so relatable.. 🤣
@Mushroom321-4 жыл бұрын
I ended up asking my man to not grab my butt EVERY time I walked past him in the kitchen.
@kerensabirch5214 Жыл бұрын
He always ties the joke together at the end giving credit to those who bothered to listen previously and making you feel special for getting it.
@l3onkers4 жыл бұрын
Yeah so even if you missed the whole middle part you can walk away still thinking he was funny 😂
@davisperron42603 жыл бұрын
"I still love you. ....See last year's card for full details." xDDD
@johnstriker4804 жыл бұрын
0:44
@johnstriker4804 жыл бұрын
Yeah that is definitely a thing he said. Why you're quoting a video that everyone who would read your quote literally JUST watched, and why your comment has almost 900 "likes", I have no idea.
@leptoon3 жыл бұрын
@@leptoon This is very common in the comments - people quote the bit that rang true with them the most/made them laugh the most etc. I guess it depends on what videos you're watching 🤔
@natv553 жыл бұрын
It’s a weird thing to do but it doesn’t bother me it’s just strange
@generalbaryonyx68503 жыл бұрын
@@generalbaryonyx6850 I just put a timestamp and a laughter emoji..
@thedarkness973 жыл бұрын
Spot on. He is a brilliant observer with just every day average stuff.
@jc95524 жыл бұрын
‘I knocked her in by mistake’. OMG! I’m crying. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@borleyboo56134 жыл бұрын
LOL, ex would think it was funny to smack my arse while I bent over, and my fat arse would ripple up my back, tipping me over!
@lifewuzonceezr4 жыл бұрын
6:03 "look at me- im n e k e d~"
@cactusmom82034 жыл бұрын
That one episode with rachel in friends when she was home alone 😂😂
@aestheticnugget62844 жыл бұрын
8:01 The woman said to her husband “that’s you” 😂 Also Michael , me and my bestie Bethan are massive fans and always listen to your jokes in our art class 😂
@hannahdiane84514 жыл бұрын
Shouldn't you be doing art
@magmafang71874 жыл бұрын
Jakub Gdaniec it’s the thought that counts lol
@hannahdiane84514 жыл бұрын
Magma Fang yeah but we listen to Michael McIntyre whilst doing art
@hannahdiane84514 жыл бұрын
@@hannahdiane8451 I love hearing you are doing art , art opens parts of the brain and can help with memory and cognitive movement. It's also been proven to help stress and anxiety. Take no notice of comments from others keep enjoying art . Michael is great he lives close to us in North London ☺️.
@bonnienash85854 жыл бұрын
This is not a joke, this is real...but if you don't understand, it's a joke. The one came from Corsica the other came from Georgia, and the third came from Austria, and all three did the same, but they did the same for the same ... and We serve the same ... understand History ....
@jooprodederode93294 жыл бұрын
"You might as well put it in the fn garden" One of the best uses of the f word ever.
@banjopiggottwright18023 жыл бұрын
anyone notice the woman at 8.03 that said to the person next to her that 'that's you' when Michael was talking about spontaneous dishwasher loading 😂
@evieatkins20474 жыл бұрын
Yes I did mentioned further up. He certainly is a observer of people and action
@carolodell61453 жыл бұрын
I completely understand her! The everlasting battle in my house!
@janelletorres52964 жыл бұрын
Janelle Torres fucking hell, you need to sort out your priorities
@billysinge89774 жыл бұрын
@@billysinge8977 yoy have to honor the orhers' work.
@bt78464 жыл бұрын
@@billysinge8977 Oh, because you are the one to do the dishes and laundry?
@mariebourgot49494 жыл бұрын
Putting empty boxes back in the cupboard, fridge ,why do men this??? If it's empty it's trash, throw it away.
@MerimaTropoja4 жыл бұрын
women do it as well, my own mother does this so you're just man hating
@Beatdownkioskman4 жыл бұрын
Less than a teaspoon of milk put back is just lazy, also an empty toilet roll.
@krisbest64054 жыл бұрын
So she won't know I finished it in one go; it will take a few days for her to realise and so it will look normal.
@julius_7264 жыл бұрын
Lol 100% female right here and I am 100% guilty of this XD
@DuchessOfDoofus4 жыл бұрын
My mum does that lol
@raspberrymojitogirldec4 жыл бұрын
I've never watched Michael McIntyre and not laughed out loud enough to feel I've done my abs workout for the day.
@SineadLaws4 жыл бұрын
That’s a pretty good sign. He doesn’t make me laugh that hard but he does make me laugh out loud which is pretty unusual for standup comedians
@davisperron42603 жыл бұрын
“If you open up one more milk.......” I’m shitting myself laughing and it’s 3am so I’m trying to be quiet
@shaya97453 жыл бұрын
Haha same xD 😆 I'm trying to not wake up the whole house but I can't stop laughing 🤣
@tinyspyro81633 жыл бұрын
Why am I watching this I ain't getting a long-term relationship ever 😂
@tommillard41934 жыл бұрын
Omg I relate
@daltontomkins54064 жыл бұрын
Long term doesn't have to mean same roof.
@bt78464 жыл бұрын
@@yjy5448 go back to the basement troll!😂😂
@megabyteme55454 жыл бұрын
@@yjy5448 You're so unaware of yourself that yu can only project on other. I pity any women, girls who's ever been in your life.
@mariebourgot49494 жыл бұрын
@@yjy5448 FFS, you are a fool. Just an incel who has no appeal to women. Fuck off this thread.
@fozzybear88784 жыл бұрын
Has to be my favourite comedian by far!! 👌🏻He’s hilarious 😂
@rukhsanamehrban91254 жыл бұрын
Dishwasher = my husband. Biscuits = my sons. Men 😲🤣
@karolinat41574 жыл бұрын
Karolina T Because women DO TOO MUCH FOR THEM!
@caralama083 жыл бұрын
My brother took the last hot pocket out of the freezer and left the box in there. In fact he did it not once but twice. Imagine wanting a certain food and you reach into an EMPTY box (twice) I found a coffee can in the pantry with no cofffe and a Dunkin’ Donuts empty coffee bag inside. I was like there no way my mon would do this this is my brother
@faketohma2 жыл бұрын
08:22 "Jesus! There's a spoon in my eye." "Sorry, I was trying to be SPOONTANEOUS" 😂😂
@janpraje4 жыл бұрын
spontaneous.😀
@lucelu5514 жыл бұрын
@@lucelu551 They were making a pun by playing on words
@gypsywoman91404 жыл бұрын
This is where the f word is used correctly, you might as well put it in the fn garden, a masterpiece.
@krisbest64054 жыл бұрын
I've been married for 14 years now and I totally relate to that. Spontaneity is almost impossible when you have kids 😁
@juliad99474 жыл бұрын
8:00 "that's you" lol can't imagine how many people just said the same thing. I know i've done that in the past :/
@JayWelton924 жыл бұрын
So is it 4 years? 8 years? 12 years or 13 years? I think Mrs. Michael is gonna have a Word with him one more time tonight.
@Hasan...4 жыл бұрын
4 years married 8 years together before hand. That's 12 years. Then at a show a year later its 13 years
@doms67414 жыл бұрын
Not really. The first clip it's just 4-5 years earlier. The clips are not from the same show
@bellasofiamartiinez4 жыл бұрын
*Mrs McIntyre*
@grimreaper82174 жыл бұрын
@@doms6741 It's not 8 + 4 years, out of the 8 years they have been together they have been married for 4.
@MerimaTropoja4 жыл бұрын
This is a compilation of joke from different shows over the years. He obviously told one joke after 4 years, another after 8 and the other joke after 13 years....
@johnjohansson62774 жыл бұрын
“I’ve read three books” Oh boyyyyy
@faatimahabrahams82124 жыл бұрын
I choked on my biscuit. literally was putting an empty packet back in the cupboard during that joke and literally choked.
@19lashby52 жыл бұрын
the only thing you clean in this house, on a regular basis is your internet history and it’s disgusting 😂😂😂
@TheRoxen924 жыл бұрын
You are my favourite stand up comedian. I love the fact that you are not vulgar, even though you make quite a lot of sex jokes. You are brilliant! Thank you for sharing your work on KZhead!
@annaandrea83204 жыл бұрын
"Goes down as a whole" is priceless. 🤣 "Is there anything else?" is even more priceless. 🤭
@rg22654 жыл бұрын
Oh my God!! This is the exact conversation I have with my partner all the time.........and nothing changes!!!! .. ....
@donna199684 жыл бұрын
OMFG That empty packet back in the cupboard, UGH! Both my sister's and our dad do that. Mum still thinks it's me for some reason 😭😭😭
@hmms52564 жыл бұрын
8:03 that woman said to her bf of screen "that's you" read her lips XD 🤣🤣🤣 I'm weak
@user-yo1ru1on7w4 жыл бұрын
I feel that "milk" comment in my soul.
@zoedujour4 жыл бұрын
My girlfriend and I are celebrating our one year anniversary today. This is a hilarious coincidence.
@benwanada4 жыл бұрын
That’s lucky, you might not have remembered if you didn’t see this. ESSO sell flowers...
@sumguy8354 жыл бұрын
Awww...congrats. I hope you two continue to be very happy.
@VibrationCrystals4 жыл бұрын
Happy Anniversary 😄
@nickymorgan37934 жыл бұрын
Get her pregnant before she runs away
@786qad4 жыл бұрын
Cuteeee
@aliciagraham94014 жыл бұрын
Micheal, you are one of the best comedians of all time!
@mathewdsouza33974 жыл бұрын
8:03 That woman saying 'That's you' 😂😂😂
@patrickdurso97463 жыл бұрын
I never get tired of this one. It’s still good no matter the time 😂
@simplyso43633 жыл бұрын
Mr. McIntyre is the ONLY living comedian who can make me laugh so hard!
@bebeveritas73062 жыл бұрын
I was spontaneous over my girlfriend once. She said 'is that it?'
@thenandnow1114 жыл бұрын
poor you
@FrancescoBellringer4 жыл бұрын
Very funny! But is it just me or does his wife sound a lot like bridget from bridget jones? The expressions, awkwardness and tone is on point 😁
@camillaholmberg39514 жыл бұрын
"The only thing that you clean in this house is your internet history" 🤣🤣🤣
@Larrysbride3 жыл бұрын
He is sooooo seriously adorable! 💞😂💖😂💞
@viviennepopek4 жыл бұрын
As a woman, I agree with the wife on evertyhing re: the milk, dishes etc - isn't it common sense?
@rkfavourites94894 жыл бұрын
*clears throat* "MiNiMuM"
@jacdaniels40393 жыл бұрын
Yes - Real men
@mothiurNCL2 жыл бұрын
I don’t agree re the milk. Like why on earth are you getting upset that there are two milks to choose from?? How could this possibly affect you?
@Hankblue Жыл бұрын
@@Hankblue Depends. If they have the same expiry date, it's just a lazy thing to do but causes no real issues. However if you start using the second bottle and let the first one go off, that's is just plain stupidity.
@susivarga7303 Жыл бұрын
@@Hankblueexpiry date- it has to be finished 3ish days after it’s opened
@FoxGlove89 ай бұрын
I laughed the whole time and finally got belly laughs that hurt! It’s been so long, so good job! And I snorted! 😂
@shaunaleessnackidies3 жыл бұрын
"Men don't need to be seduced.. We can seduce ourselves unknowingly in our sleep" 💀
@AeliaM16Lake3 жыл бұрын
Yes, cannot take ladies for granted😍😍
@rachelring25424 жыл бұрын
🌸 married life.....you have to come up with new shit every year, jump through hoops etc lol 😂 Socks off if it’s a special occasion lol 😂
@sunitafisher47584 жыл бұрын
It's so accurate, about the muting of the t.v and getting re dressed and putting on the glasses ..laughed out...
@ashleyfaller10682 жыл бұрын
This is not just comedy he's giving life lessons y'alll. Gooold
@maymadison3620 Жыл бұрын
BRILLIANT never have too much of Michael McIntyre’s comedy. 💖
@ozzeelady60292 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the laughter you bring to my life.
@chyfields3 жыл бұрын
OMG him talking about his wifes lecture to him is the EXACT same as me and my boyfriend...THE GOD DAMN SAME 😂
@horsez4eva183 жыл бұрын
Anytime I am just a little bit down, I rewatch one of his videos. Now, I’m down to re-re-rewatching and he’s still funny!
@sarahrenfrow97953 жыл бұрын
everything is super relatable :)))))))))). he is amazing
@dianaamiri95204 жыл бұрын
My gosh!, Your impersonations , gestures , paceing is hilarious.. 🤣 I LOVE it!! 😃 I wish I could meet you to thank you!! for so much resonating w/ the pet peeves part.. 😲
@Mushroom321-4 жыл бұрын
"I knocked her in".... I can't breathe 😂
@rodmanm.papros45352 жыл бұрын
This guy was building up a practical joke his whole marriage That is what i call comedian
@user-zi8lg5qu1h3 жыл бұрын
the "please turn over...the page" part was genius
@leiladekwatro31473 жыл бұрын
i love you, please turn over XD
@PangLiur4 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@patrickbonham9494 жыл бұрын
8:03 “that’s you” 🤣🤣
@briannasproule3624 жыл бұрын
OMG he's the best! Love your humour Michael!😂😂😂😂😂🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
@infiniteinspiration16284 жыл бұрын
This is so funny, but its only because it's true! Love this!!
@mrs.thomas-usmcwife56864 жыл бұрын
By spontaneous; buy her a bouquet of flowers out of nowhere 😂
@truecrime83523 жыл бұрын
I love the knowing looks the couples in the audience give each other!😂👍
@JaneDoe-ci3gj2 жыл бұрын
At least your dishes land in the kittchen!😂😂😂
@anjameurer97084 жыл бұрын
Hahaha I hear ya 😂😂
@CovidConQuitTheCensorship3 жыл бұрын
Simply lovely! We got so much rain yesterday and today the sky is cloudy but after this video, sleep all you want sun!
@beatrizlopez95204 жыл бұрын
Warning! Do not eat & drink whilst watching this hilarious funny man🤣 I spluttered a mouthful of tea. 😂
@flamefox8989 Жыл бұрын
Love your shows, have watched them all many times
@sandyporteous18113 жыл бұрын
Lol, I swear, I laugh no matter how many times I watch his shows.
@kathrynblodgett19693 жыл бұрын
Haha I do that now. I’m a newly wed but we’ve together for 5 years ❤️
@zoewood5554 жыл бұрын
He's a Champ in delivery
@YRTEverything4 жыл бұрын
The woman at 8:03 says that’s you to her man 😂😂😂
@nattyt-zk2nx4 жыл бұрын
Very funny, very relatable! Thank you 😄😆
@marshamahaney69974 жыл бұрын
YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS AND CONVEY TRUE DAILY REALITY IN THE BEST EVER OF WAYS. SIMPLY ADORE YOU
@charlottecolley8713 Жыл бұрын
he has nailed this.
@ritaharris23724 жыл бұрын
hahaha. Story of my life. SO glad I am single now.🙋🏼♀️
@melanieohara69414 жыл бұрын
Getting knocked into the dishwasher by your spontaneous partner is the story of your life? Interesting.
@collinslfc4 жыл бұрын
Same!
@KatWoman834 жыл бұрын
@@collinslfc eh?
@Dough-jg8xp4 жыл бұрын
Those on long term relationships will laugh more than those who are not.
@ahmedtawe3na4594 жыл бұрын
Omg this is so accurate 🤣🤣🤣
@ferryface38093 жыл бұрын
That just cracks me up every time I watch it! Women from everywhere are thanking you, Michael! When we are needing a "chat", all we have to do is play this.... hahahaha!
@groovin2mytune2859 ай бұрын
Why is this my husband?! 😂😂😂
@SaltySirenFloriduh4 жыл бұрын
I was watching Inglourious Basterds with a friend on my bed once and then she suddenly paused it. I just remembered.
@BarterTom3 жыл бұрын
“Please turn over - *the page* - please turn over” *glad he specified*
@gingertoastd93673 жыл бұрын
I am sat in my car, on my own, outside my house, laughing like a hyenna. Going to look like an idiot if I suddenly stop laughing hysterically and get out the car and go indoors straight-faced, so, am now considering what sort of a smile to maintain without also looking like a complete twat!!! 🤔😁
@piperuk53664 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣 the dishwasher scene ! 🤣
@phoenixdawn217able4 жыл бұрын
*Please turn over, the page*
@Gayboygirl4 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
@ayes1433 жыл бұрын
"I still love you …see last years card for full details" 🤣🤣🤣PERFECTION. That's the best line.
@mapleacer99252 жыл бұрын
I love this man .... He sends cards!!!! ........
@patricemarie29604 жыл бұрын
I’ll consider myself to be in a long term relationship when we have our 30th anniversary in a few months!
@TimsPracticalPrepping4 жыл бұрын
Congratulations 👍. Laughter is always the best medicine..,, 😁👏
@deborahtyson90052 жыл бұрын
Ha! I really feel for Michael’s Wife on the whole Dishwasher thing. That said, when I lived with my brother & we had a Mini Dishwasher, I’d actually prefer him to leave his dirty Plates & Cutlery next to it because he didn’t know how to load it properly. Ok, so I DO have OCD, but those who think it’s all about that.... it’s not! There IS a proper way to load a Dishwasher to maximise space & ensure all the things get washed properly & this kinda shit gets discovered through Trial & Error. So, for those blokes who get the same shit from their Partners about leaving their Plate NEAR to the Dishwashers, don’t just chuck it in anywhere & think you’re helping - think beforehand & just work out the best place for it.... better yet, FFS ASK! Lol After all, successful relationships are all about GOOD COMMUNICATION! 😉
@RickHignett4 жыл бұрын
oml ME XD
@robyndare77234 жыл бұрын
Are you single?
@bt78464 жыл бұрын
He’s so funny, he always makes me 😆
@SteelTreeGone2 жыл бұрын
Damn! Lost weight! Looks good man! Love the content. Funny as heck!
@xBaristaPaul4 жыл бұрын
My stomach has never hurt more
@katrinablackwood79094 жыл бұрын
Katrina Blackwood Mine has. It was whilst watching The Steve Allen Show in which he celebrated his 80th birthday. It lasted at least an hour & we didn’t stop laughing one second from beginning to end.
@mckavitt4 жыл бұрын
He is brilliant! Could easily have his own television series.
@johnlargan60454 жыл бұрын
My god I have never in my life laughed this hard! Im crying!
I loved how he referred his wife to last year's card to find all the "sweet" things he wanted to say to her. I was married for almost 31 years before my husband died but we had been married about 15 years and I asked him (why do women always do this?) "Why don't you tell me you love me?" (I knew he did because his actions said he did but I just wanted the words.) He said, "Well, I've told you I love you in the past, right?" I said, "Yes". He said, "Well if I ever change my mind I'll let you know."
Omg that's brilliant lol
Haha
That's brilliant. Sorry for your loss
Ahahaha!!! Gold!! 👍🤣
That's so amazing.. ❤
"cause I'm throwing it in and sometimes I miss...." Hahaha lmao 😂
Passionate Picker I always do that 😂😂😂 and I try again until I actually get it in 😂😂😂
Victoria Parker - My ex husband would do this, leave his clothes on the floor near the laundry basket. I could never figure out why. Now I know 😂
Kinda expected that same line to come with the dish washer one ngl "Honey, why do you you always put the plates next to the dishwasher, not in the dish washer? They dont get washed if their just *next* to it!" "...well I'm throwing it in!"
Everyone who lives with someone who does this, ie, not put dirty clothes in the laundry basket should do one thing: JUST LEAVE IT THERE DON'T TOUCH IT DON'T WASH IT DON'T TIDY IT DON'T PUT IT WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE they will soon run out of clean clothes to wear and when they inquire as to where a particular item of clothing is... your response will be, "where did you leave it?" Motto of the story: If it isn't in the basket it doesn't get washed!
This is my boys...
LIKE HOW HE USES HIS FIRST JOKE TO FINSH THE LAST JOKE !!!
That's one of the oldest stand-up writing tricks in the book mate. This guy's painting by numbers and everyone calls him a "genius"... Bizarre.
Austin Dyer well at least he makes people laugh
@@AD-kv9kj SO go do it yourself if it is so easy
It's called a call back. It's something most successful comics do
It's so cheap it's not even funny. I feel dirty when I use it, there's no skill. Its cheap but it works, like selling your soul to the devil.
Well..his wife is right on pretty much everything 🤣
Yes
Except spontaneity. She clearly meant the opposite.
"The only thing you clear in this house on a regular basis is your internet history and it's disgusting" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What monster opens a new milk when theres one already one open??!!!
I know!So annoying
honestly? it's never mentioned as to whether the milk left over is still good or just only good for making buttermilk biscuits. if the milk moves more like sludge than liquid, then i'd go with the bigger question of why he didn't just chuck it.
Are you his wife?
Chanie Feldman-Levin I live w one who opens new everything before the old one is finished.
My 19 year old son...
The dishwasher part is so relatable.
@Mister Physics I know what you're talking about, mate, been there. But I was actually referring to the wife bending over and then me groping her lovely butt.
@@jipke haha , YES,.. so relatable.. 🤣
I ended up asking my man to not grab my butt EVERY time I walked past him in the kitchen.
He always ties the joke together at the end giving credit to those who bothered to listen previously and making you feel special for getting it.
Yeah so even if you missed the whole middle part you can walk away still thinking he was funny 😂
"I still love you. ....See last year's card for full details." xDDD
0:44
Yeah that is definitely a thing he said. Why you're quoting a video that everyone who would read your quote literally JUST watched, and why your comment has almost 900 "likes", I have no idea.
@@leptoon This is very common in the comments - people quote the bit that rang true with them the most/made them laugh the most etc. I guess it depends on what videos you're watching 🤔
It’s a weird thing to do but it doesn’t bother me it’s just strange
@@generalbaryonyx6850 I just put a timestamp and a laughter emoji..
Spot on. He is a brilliant observer with just every day average stuff.
‘I knocked her in by mistake’. OMG! I’m crying. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LOL, ex would think it was funny to smack my arse while I bent over, and my fat arse would ripple up my back, tipping me over!
6:03 "look at me- im n e k e d~"
That one episode with rachel in friends when she was home alone 😂😂
8:01 The woman said to her husband “that’s you” 😂 Also Michael , me and my bestie Bethan are massive fans and always listen to your jokes in our art class 😂
Shouldn't you be doing art
Jakub Gdaniec it’s the thought that counts lol
Magma Fang yeah but we listen to Michael McIntyre whilst doing art
@@hannahdiane8451 I love hearing you are doing art , art opens parts of the brain and can help with memory and cognitive movement. It's also been proven to help stress and anxiety. Take no notice of comments from others keep enjoying art . Michael is great he lives close to us in North London ☺️.
This is not a joke, this is real...but if you don't understand, it's a joke. The one came from Corsica the other came from Georgia, and the third came from Austria, and all three did the same, but they did the same for the same ... and We serve the same ... understand History ....
"You might as well put it in the fn garden" One of the best uses of the f word ever.
anyone notice the woman at 8.03 that said to the person next to her that 'that's you' when Michael was talking about spontaneous dishwasher loading 😂
Yes I did mentioned further up. He certainly is a observer of people and action
I completely understand her! The everlasting battle in my house!
Janelle Torres fucking hell, you need to sort out your priorities
@@billysinge8977 yoy have to honor the orhers' work.
@@billysinge8977 Oh, because you are the one to do the dishes and laundry?
Putting empty boxes back in the cupboard, fridge ,why do men this??? If it's empty it's trash, throw it away.
women do it as well, my own mother does this so you're just man hating
Less than a teaspoon of milk put back is just lazy, also an empty toilet roll.
So she won't know I finished it in one go; it will take a few days for her to realise and so it will look normal.
Lol 100% female right here and I am 100% guilty of this XD
My mum does that lol
I've never watched Michael McIntyre and not laughed out loud enough to feel I've done my abs workout for the day.
That’s a pretty good sign. He doesn’t make me laugh that hard but he does make me laugh out loud which is pretty unusual for standup comedians
“If you open up one more milk.......” I’m shitting myself laughing and it’s 3am so I’m trying to be quiet
Haha same xD 😆 I'm trying to not wake up the whole house but I can't stop laughing 🤣
Why am I watching this I ain't getting a long-term relationship ever 😂
Omg I relate
Long term doesn't have to mean same roof.
@@yjy5448 go back to the basement troll!😂😂
@@yjy5448 You're so unaware of yourself that yu can only project on other. I pity any women, girls who's ever been in your life.
@@yjy5448 FFS, you are a fool. Just an incel who has no appeal to women. Fuck off this thread.
Has to be my favourite comedian by far!! 👌🏻He’s hilarious 😂
Dishwasher = my husband. Biscuits = my sons. Men 😲🤣
Karolina T Because women DO TOO MUCH FOR THEM!
My brother took the last hot pocket out of the freezer and left the box in there. In fact he did it not once but twice. Imagine wanting a certain food and you reach into an EMPTY box (twice) I found a coffee can in the pantry with no cofffe and a Dunkin’ Donuts empty coffee bag inside. I was like there no way my mon would do this this is my brother
08:22 "Jesus! There's a spoon in my eye." "Sorry, I was trying to be SPOONTANEOUS" 😂😂
spontaneous.😀
@@lucelu551 They were making a pun by playing on words
This is where the f word is used correctly, you might as well put it in the fn garden, a masterpiece.
I've been married for 14 years now and I totally relate to that. Spontaneity is almost impossible when you have kids 😁
8:00 "that's you" lol can't imagine how many people just said the same thing. I know i've done that in the past :/
So is it 4 years? 8 years? 12 years or 13 years? I think Mrs. Michael is gonna have a Word with him one more time tonight.
4 years married 8 years together before hand. That's 12 years. Then at a show a year later its 13 years
Not really. The first clip it's just 4-5 years earlier. The clips are not from the same show
*Mrs McIntyre*
@@doms6741 It's not 8 + 4 years, out of the 8 years they have been together they have been married for 4.
This is a compilation of joke from different shows over the years. He obviously told one joke after 4 years, another after 8 and the other joke after 13 years....
“I’ve read three books” Oh boyyyyy
I choked on my biscuit. literally was putting an empty packet back in the cupboard during that joke and literally choked.
the only thing you clean in this house, on a regular basis is your internet history and it’s disgusting 😂😂😂
You are my favourite stand up comedian. I love the fact that you are not vulgar, even though you make quite a lot of sex jokes. You are brilliant! Thank you for sharing your work on KZhead!
"Goes down as a whole" is priceless. 🤣 "Is there anything else?" is even more priceless. 🤭
Oh my God!! This is the exact conversation I have with my partner all the time.........and nothing changes!!!! .. ....
OMFG That empty packet back in the cupboard, UGH! Both my sister's and our dad do that. Mum still thinks it's me for some reason 😭😭😭
8:03 that woman said to her bf of screen "that's you" read her lips XD 🤣🤣🤣 I'm weak
I feel that "milk" comment in my soul.
My girlfriend and I are celebrating our one year anniversary today. This is a hilarious coincidence.
That’s lucky, you might not have remembered if you didn’t see this. ESSO sell flowers...
Awww...congrats. I hope you two continue to be very happy.
Happy Anniversary 😄
Get her pregnant before she runs away
Cuteeee
Micheal, you are one of the best comedians of all time!
8:03 That woman saying 'That's you' 😂😂😂
I never get tired of this one. It’s still good no matter the time 😂
Mr. McIntyre is the ONLY living comedian who can make me laugh so hard!
I was spontaneous over my girlfriend once. She said 'is that it?'
poor you
Very funny! But is it just me or does his wife sound a lot like bridget from bridget jones? The expressions, awkwardness and tone is on point 😁
"The only thing that you clean in this house is your internet history" 🤣🤣🤣
He is sooooo seriously adorable! 💞😂💖😂💞
As a woman, I agree with the wife on evertyhing re: the milk, dishes etc - isn't it common sense?
*clears throat* "MiNiMuM"
Yes - Real men
I don’t agree re the milk. Like why on earth are you getting upset that there are two milks to choose from?? How could this possibly affect you?
@@Hankblue Depends. If they have the same expiry date, it's just a lazy thing to do but causes no real issues. However if you start using the second bottle and let the first one go off, that's is just plain stupidity.
@@Hankblueexpiry date- it has to be finished 3ish days after it’s opened
I laughed the whole time and finally got belly laughs that hurt! It’s been so long, so good job! And I snorted! 😂
"Men don't need to be seduced.. We can seduce ourselves unknowingly in our sleep" 💀
Yes, cannot take ladies for granted😍😍
🌸 married life.....you have to come up with new shit every year, jump through hoops etc lol 😂 Socks off if it’s a special occasion lol 😂
It's so accurate, about the muting of the t.v and getting re dressed and putting on the glasses ..laughed out...
This is not just comedy he's giving life lessons y'alll. Gooold
BRILLIANT never have too much of Michael McIntyre’s comedy. 💖
Thank you for the laughter you bring to my life.
OMG him talking about his wifes lecture to him is the EXACT same as me and my boyfriend...THE GOD DAMN SAME 😂
Anytime I am just a little bit down, I rewatch one of his videos. Now, I’m down to re-re-rewatching and he’s still funny!
everything is super relatable :)))))))))). he is amazing
My gosh!, Your impersonations , gestures , paceing is hilarious.. 🤣 I LOVE it!! 😃 I wish I could meet you to thank you!! for so much resonating w/ the pet peeves part.. 😲
"I knocked her in".... I can't breathe 😂
This guy was building up a practical joke his whole marriage That is what i call comedian
the "please turn over...the page" part was genius
i love you, please turn over XD
😂😂😂
8:03 “that’s you” 🤣🤣
OMG he's the best! Love your humour Michael!😂😂😂😂😂🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
This is so funny, but its only because it's true! Love this!!
By spontaneous; buy her a bouquet of flowers out of nowhere 😂
I love the knowing looks the couples in the audience give each other!😂👍
At least your dishes land in the kittchen!😂😂😂
Hahaha I hear ya 😂😂
Simply lovely! We got so much rain yesterday and today the sky is cloudy but after this video, sleep all you want sun!
Warning! Do not eat & drink whilst watching this hilarious funny man🤣 I spluttered a mouthful of tea. 😂
Love your shows, have watched them all many times
Lol, I swear, I laugh no matter how many times I watch his shows.
Haha I do that now. I’m a newly wed but we’ve together for 5 years ❤️
He's a Champ in delivery
The woman at 8:03 says that’s you to her man 😂😂😂
Very funny, very relatable! Thank you 😄😆
YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS AND CONVEY TRUE DAILY REALITY IN THE BEST EVER OF WAYS. SIMPLY ADORE YOU
he has nailed this.
hahaha. Story of my life. SO glad I am single now.🙋🏼♀️
Getting knocked into the dishwasher by your spontaneous partner is the story of your life? Interesting.
Same!
@@collinslfc eh?
Those on long term relationships will laugh more than those who are not.
Omg this is so accurate 🤣🤣🤣
That just cracks me up every time I watch it! Women from everywhere are thanking you, Michael! When we are needing a "chat", all we have to do is play this.... hahahaha!
Why is this my husband?! 😂😂😂
I was watching Inglourious Basterds with a friend on my bed once and then she suddenly paused it. I just remembered.
“Please turn over - *the page* - please turn over” *glad he specified*
I am sat in my car, on my own, outside my house, laughing like a hyenna. Going to look like an idiot if I suddenly stop laughing hysterically and get out the car and go indoors straight-faced, so, am now considering what sort of a smile to maintain without also looking like a complete twat!!! 🤔😁
🤣🤣🤣 the dishwasher scene ! 🤣
*Please turn over, the page*
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
"I still love you …see last years card for full details" 🤣🤣🤣PERFECTION. That's the best line.
I love this man .... He sends cards!!!! ........
I’ll consider myself to be in a long term relationship when we have our 30th anniversary in a few months!
Congratulations 👍. Laughter is always the best medicine..,, 😁👏
Ha! I really feel for Michael’s Wife on the whole Dishwasher thing. That said, when I lived with my brother & we had a Mini Dishwasher, I’d actually prefer him to leave his dirty Plates & Cutlery next to it because he didn’t know how to load it properly. Ok, so I DO have OCD, but those who think it’s all about that.... it’s not! There IS a proper way to load a Dishwasher to maximise space & ensure all the things get washed properly & this kinda shit gets discovered through Trial & Error. So, for those blokes who get the same shit from their Partners about leaving their Plate NEAR to the Dishwashers, don’t just chuck it in anywhere & think you’re helping - think beforehand & just work out the best place for it.... better yet, FFS ASK! Lol After all, successful relationships are all about GOOD COMMUNICATION! 😉
oml ME XD
Are you single?
He’s so funny, he always makes me 😆
Damn! Lost weight! Looks good man! Love the content. Funny as heck!
My stomach has never hurt more
Katrina Blackwood Mine has. It was whilst watching The Steve Allen Show in which he celebrated his 80th birthday. It lasted at least an hour & we didn’t stop laughing one second from beginning to end.
He is brilliant! Could easily have his own television series.
My god I have never in my life laughed this hard! Im crying!
Omg that is my life! Lol
Love this guy xx
What an amazing talent Michael is!!!