Illness Anxiety and NPD
2024 ж. 11 Мам.
13 529 Рет қаралды
In this episode, Dr. Ettensohn explores the connection between illness anxiety and pathological narcissism. This episode explores how illness anxiety in NPD can be disguised anxiety about loss of self or psychological disintegration.
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References:
Segal, H. (1957). Notes on Symbol Formation. Int. J. Psychoanalysis., 38:391-397
Winnicott, D.W. (1974). Fear of breakdown. International Review of Psycho-analysis, 1: 103-107.
I will remove comments that are abusive to any individual (including myself) or population. This includes comments that are abusive toward pwNPD.
Im glad u don't support abusing narcissists Sometimes i wonder if ihave narcissistic tendencies
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
As usual, thank you for you imparting of your knowledge and compassion. I wish the whole world knew just what a big deal compassion and patience are to those who struggle with anxieties about being good enough and safe.
Thanks for your comment.
Yes! I agree with Puting Pinoy! I would add my religious connection: your teachings are like the Savior’s…Love your neighbor! Love one Another… By this shall man know, ye are My disciples; if ye have Love; one to another. 🧘🏻♀️☯️💜🙏✨
Does this apply to mental illnesses as well?? My neuropsych eval noted that "Jacob often worries something is wrong with his mind" which is super true
Sure. The underlying anxiety is about falling apart or disintegrating.
@@healnpd I feel like that all the time lol
WoW Once Again 🎉 you took a life tragedy 🎭 and made a warrior who triumphed! I had a psychologist who taught us this way for the homeless and addicted! She saw more strength in suffering souls than weakness
Thank you and thanks for watching. ❤️
❤❤❤
An ah ha moment when you talked about the narc’s health anxiety. This finally explained my narc mother’s never ending “You’ll get sick and go to hospital” when, as a kid, I didn’t eat all my dinner. She had intense terror on her face. She spent every week at the doctors all her life and as soon as one thing was treated another would appear on the horizon. The legacy is that I never made my kids eat ‘everything on the plate’, never impose food on guests and in late 70s visit my doctor once a year. I appreciate the helpful insight you give into the very mind of the narc. Thank you.
Thank you yet again. This has been really helpful to me. I have NPD. I suffered with what we call 'health anxiety' in the UK since I was a teenager, even attending counselling and CBT specifically for it. I later discovered it was a sign of my NPD, which I've since attended therapy for. The illness anxiety reminded me of another existential fear: climate anxiety, or - more broadly - fear of the anihilation of the world in some form or other (climate change being a most pressing example). I've had these kinds of fears since I was a child: nuclear attack, ecological disaster, terrorism ... and all the time, the person most affected by these imagined scenarios was me. I was at the centre of all those fears. I also relate to the 'constant checking'. I would do this with my health, but also the news regarding possible catastrophes. It became obsessional and really only fed the anxiety. As I've worked on my NPD in therapy and on my own, I've noticed that these fears have reduced a great deal, without me having consciously worked on it - such as I did when I was undergoing CBT. It's interesting to notice that fall away. Thank you so much again. Your work has done an invaluable good for many people. You have really helped.
Ditto on the nuclear annihilation and climate fear here. But I think they are legitimate fears, no?
Very interesting. A comment I must make; some children try building their block towers (buildiing a sense of competent self), their caregivers (in my husband's case his patents) constantly kindly point out that the colors are wrong, the stack is getting disorganized, he's disturbing others when his stack falls and he may want to discontinue stacking blocks as it is so disruptive. Ive noticed this about his parents. Such nice people that can not tolerate any form of "rebellion" or expressions of frustration. Everyone must be nice and pleasant.
I am deeply comforted to know there is meaningful help for NPD sufferers. I know several impressive and creative people who can switch to another self and exact cruelty that shocks friends and colleagues. I am in the Arts, and we see this personality type a lot and recognize its roots in childhood traumas.
Again, just such an empathic way to explain it. I actually don’t have almost any of the behaviors of NPD or even the lack of empathy so I get really tired of it being characterized solely in those terms. The way you describe narcissism really describes my experience so perfectly. If I wanted someone to understand me, I’d send them here. Just so grateful for your videos!
Thanks. Please send as many people as you can find, haha. 🤓
@@healnpd 👍😊
mac I totally agree with you about the empathy factor and it's such a contrast to other people, which is understandable, yet seems to be creating more division, especially when it's conveyed that there's absolutely no possibility of change! I want to add that I've also reccommended this channel to quite a few people online, who've mentioned that they've been diagnosed with NPD, or were aware of it anyway, which I'll keep doing. I'll write a proper comment to Dr Ettensohn when I'm not so tired since it was difficult enough doing this one and I wish you all the very best with your healing process, or integration, as he prefers to call it. 😊
I can not thank you enough for the compassion shown on this channel, it's really helped me shift my perspectives and find forgiveness/ release.. I'm beginning to find peace in all my past relationships 🕊️
Glad to hear it. Thank you for sharing!
So great to see this. There is so much self-serving, stigmatising and frankly commercially driven material about NPD on the internet.
Wow. What a coincidence. I used to describe my generalized anxiety as falling down an infinite well as a child with my tiny child bones being so fragile that touching the walls would break them.
I absolutely love the way you reframed this, Dr. - you honestly do give me a lot of hope for a future where maybe there will be less suffering ❤️ thank you!
🙂
Excellent start to finish. The Rob Lowe scene had me laughing (didn't see the movie). Reminded me of the scene in Madagasscar with the monkey's and the leader of them sayin, "If you have poo' fling it now!" 🤣😂🤭 I'm one of several that will stay away from an npd, yet not give up hope they will seek help. I think some can be helped is all. 💫Thank You.
Love this channel. !
Glad you enjoy it!
Me too
Brilliant as always, thank you 🙏 💛
Thanks for watching. 🙂
Hi Dr. Ettensohn, just wanted to ask wether you could do a video on the vulnerability of asking. It’s something I’m coming up against again and again where I need something from someone but find structuring the request really difficult because my shame gets in the way. I find it hard to ask vulnerably or humbly and the sheer terror of the shame of rejection, ie a no, causes me to demand instead, which of course has its own consequences and over time costs me relationships. I’m very stuck with this and would love to hear your take on this and all things vulnerable to a narcissist and how to deal! Thank you for all the work you do 🙏.
Good idea for a future video. This experience is usually called “hiding the self.” PwNPD or path. narcissism have difficulty letting others (or sometimes themselves) know how they really feel and what they really need/want. They are usually afraid of rejection or feeling shame.
You explain everything so well and are so compassionate. I'm really grateful for you and your videos ♥️
Thanks!
Thank you so much for sharing your excellent understanding with us! Incredible work! You've filled in SO many blanks.
Thank you kindly.
You are so good at articulating these concepts. Helps me better understand what happened to someone I love. Thank you.
You are so welcome
Hi Dr.Ettenson, I've bought your book and I've watched all your videos, And I still haven't found the most important piece for me which is how to heal yourself when you feel that you are depressed and traumatized after you've been in a long close relationship with a narcissist and you've fell into their splitting disorder and hate. Please upload a video about healing yourself after being in a close relationship with a narcissist. My happiness is hurt.
Thank you. ❤
Wow, great explanation Thank you
You are so wonderful. Thank you for this content.
This was amazing. TY
Hi Mark. Thank you for your helpful work. Could what you are explaining here also be an emotional flashback? Is there a similarity? Thank you
Hi Mark. I've recently came across your channel and I just wanted to say it's a great channel. I wanted to get your opinion on something if possible. For a long time now I've struggled with my self esteem. When I say struggled with it, I mean from the perspective of I'm extremely externally validating/externally referencing in regards to my sense of self. So if I receive some kind of positive feedback I get a sense of euphoria temporarily (although it never lasts very long and is like a void that can never be filled). On the flipside if I receive negative feedback ie "you're unattractive" or "you're weird" or anything negative like that, I find it absolutely crushing and unlike the positive feedback, it sticks with me a lot longer. It's like I have no inner sense of self and my sense of self is completely dictated by the external (other people) Now having watched some of your videos on pathological Narcissism, and having googled my own symptoms in this regard, the only thing that seems to come up in regards of the need to use others for self esteem regulation is pathological Narcissism. However I don't believe I do suffer with pathological Narcissism as I've never experienced a sense of grandiosity and the other aspects that can some along with suffering with pathological Narcissism. So I guess my question is do you know of any other psychological disorders than can cause an extreme reliance on external validation for self esteem regulation other than pathological Narcissism? Thank you, its much appreciated!
maybe you should investigate the symptoms of "covert narcissism". Since they are lacking the grandiosity part.
@ I've read up on that. I definitely fit some of the criteria, but not all of it. It's an interesting one though and hard to work out.
Very helpful! Thank you. ❤
Could you do a video on Body Dysmorphia? I have struggled with this since I was 11, I was bullied for my personality before highschool and then when I got to highschool I was bullied for my looks too so I had to create the false self, all that matters to me is my appearance because I learned early that my personality was trash, and I wasn't raised to care about a career or other meaningful things because I was too busy being an anxious paranoid child who looked after my equally anxious and paranoid mother who also isolated me. Getting older (I'm 25 this year) is torture because I want to look like how I did at 17-20 forever and can't stand to see obvious changes in my body and appearance every passing month, which to everyone else are insignificant, but I see them every day because I'm constantly looking for them. My Body Dysmorphia gets better when I feel better about myself, when I'm succeeding etc but it alway comes back when I fail at something or my ego is hurt. I don't think I will be able to survive actually becoming older and older in appearance at the moment :(
I’m sorry you’ve struggled. Body dysmorphia is a great suggestion.
Very helpful thank you 🙏
thank you so much for making these amazing videos
Glad you like them!
Thank you🫠
This guy is good . Lots of facts
Thank you very much for sharing! i like the exact way you convey this topic. ..i often watch videos of richard grannon. aside from his dramatic delivery style, what do you think of his opinion on the NPD topic?
It's very difficult having empathy for the dysfunctional or neglectful parent/s that played such a large role in not preparing you, as they should have, for the Real World but once you see it from this perspective it brings some understanding to the generational nature of all of this CPTSD or whatever you want to label the condition you believe you are dealing with. Just as you can't really blame yourself for the things that happened to you as a child, you can't really blame them for the things that happened to them and eventually affected you in such a negative way. You were raised by emotionally stunted or immature parent/s and this was no more their fault than it was yours with regards to the way you raised your own children. The difference is you, unlike your parent/s, are looking for ways to put a stop to this generational condition & are holding yourself accountable by admitting there is an issue that needs dealing with in the first place. You may not be able to fix your parent/s, as they are unable or refuse to address the issue, but you certainly can put a wrench in the works with regards to how they treat their grandchildren and you in the future. Don't be that 6 year old they expect you to be and become the emotionally stable person you want your own children to become. As an adult this responsibility does fall on you. Good luck. Cheers.
What is going on with an NPD/BPD person when they are concerned about your health, but they don't want you around and they mostly ignore you the rest of the time, but if you are sick in their presence, they become openly angry and hostile???? Does this indicate that they can BOTH consider you a bad object, and may be overly confused about where they end and you begin? Is it their own continuing existence that they are really concerned about?
9:53 Thank You !
This makes so much sense to me, my ex partner was obsessed with exercise. Although it was also her fave place to meet new men…
Thank you so much for these videos. They are very well done and informative.
You're very welcome!
Thank you Dr. Ettensohn, very interesting subject and new in opposition to the other repetitive points about npd I found on KZhead so far. I have a question regarding these health anxiety: can they result in psychosomatic issues? Thank you
Yes. When individuals obsess about potential ailments, there is often a somatizing component.
That's good.
Thank you
Welcome!
Can this also be applied to OCD?
I had this same question!
I think it's connected to us trying to get rid of gluten and lactose at the beginning. Maybe some have IBS from all the anxiety as well.
🤔
My narcissist ex husband was reared in a very dysfunctional family, his Father was EXACTLY THE SAME never involved with fsmily issues, always shortage of money and Father also an Alcoholic, his mother had so many children she had to basically rear on her oen snd ABUSED by the husband, now divorced from my narcissist ex husband and he still at 66 running around after different women.
Is Rheumatoid Arthritis psychosomatic in some way?
I do not have NPD, but I do have some of these tendencies and always have fears of falling apart and losing myself. Can this be related to avoidant attachment style?
Very helpful video. In your experience have you seen someone suffering from this type of anxiety actually manifest illness? Ex: someone terrified of a cancer diagnosis, eventually develops cancer. Thanks again for your work.
@sunflowerdaisy813 - I haven’t personally seen it. Chronic stress and anxiety take a toll on the body and weaken natural defenses, so I imagine it would be possible for health issues to develop over time.
Não consigo legenda em português Brasil
My ex lives in fear of dying, pure fear of his afterlife.
🥰
SICKNESS BE GONE!!!!! - Dennis Reynolds
Illness anxiety... more like illness euphoria in my case. Any sign of impending disease looks like a promise it might be the beginning of the end.
@Mikosch2 - I’m very sorry to hear that you feel that way. 😕❤️
:'(
Resiliency is a great buzzword and all, but people feel this way bc they have had experiences that showed them the truth of how fragile & how easily broken our bodies are. Fact is, that only gets worse with time (age). You WILL hurt more as you get older, things will get harder to do, you won't feel as good. And sure, some people exercise really hard and stave some of it off for longer. But it's just a fact, and the info we've gotten already is a preview of what's to come, but worse. Better to face this than try & "reframe" it somehow. Eventually we all have to face this truth.