It's that time of the year again! And what better way to show those special people in your life how much they really mean to you this holiday season than with the perfect gifts from The Nothing Store! (As long as you can stay awake long enough to pay for them, that is!)
Listen to selected works outside of KZhead:
Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
Video Playlists:
All Playlists ► bit.ly/2HYYG0g
Welcome to ER ► bit.ly/34RQlnH
ASMR Character Performances ► bit.ly/364b2fT
Arkham Sanitarium / Rift World ASMR ► bit.ly/2TRquGu
Experimental ASMR ► bit.ly/3oVOqGG
Traditional ASMR ► bit.ly/2GoRQQZ
Nature Videos ► bit.ly/35ZbJHc
Gameplays ► bit.ly/2Lkmygt
Real Talk ► bit.ly/3n13q4H
ASMR Eating ► bit.ly/3lEe4hq
What is ASMR? ► bit.ly/2VPtC6C
Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
Website ► ephemeralrift.com
I quite like how "we do not accept... first born" implies that all of your other children are good for nothing
I like to imagine someone came In with there firstborn instead of nothing so they had to make it a rule to prevent it from happening again
The fact I’m the second child offends me so.
Ohhhhhh, that makes a lot of sense
I-
In Germany we joke "Kids are like pancakes - you never know what you are doing at the first one". So - in germany it would be "only firstborn" ^^
“They say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day”
Person named nothing:
Usually I don’t laugh at these but I laughed this one time
Useless child
"It impossible..."
Well you exercised your thumbs typing that comment soooo…
the way he throws the clipboard to the side and _carefully_ puts down his pen sends me every time
When does this happen?
@@moonadoo1006 at 0:24 :)
Thank u
@@pancarialice never noticed before😂😂😂😂
Why is is so quiet! Like how I’ve thrown many clip boards in my life but even throwing them is loud.
Finally a store where I can walk out with nothing and not having a guilt feeling
So true
This is what happens when his wife says nothing would make her happier
You have to pay a lot of nothing
Wife: Nothing makes me happier than you! Me: 😢
Just wanted to point this out has anyone ever noticed that ephemeral rift looks like bogan Jesus
take ur like and leave
@@thedestinyghostdinklebot2574 who are you talking to
"We don't accept First born" Me: *[Puts second child on counter]*
I’ve come to make a bargain
Oh. Hey Cthulhu.
Cthulhu has two kids?
Ah didn’t see this before I comment a similar thing 😆 great minds think alike
@@pencil_1078 he has like 4 actually
My "theory" for the nothing store is that every item is so magical and unobtainable for humans that our brains (or maybe even NWO microchips) block it automatically and replaces it with the word "nothing."
I like ur theory
[[hyper linked blocked]]
ah i cant wait for the [NOT NWO COMPLIANT]
Reminds me of Sindri and Brok. They teleport in realm between realms, but because our mind can't understand it, it decides to see nothing at all
So basically, your saying nothing is kind of a substitute for something or someone incomprehensible.
This is basically me writing a small essay on what I did during summer break when returning to school.
lmfao
This is so accurate
Me: *puts first born back in car seat*
*Picks up second born*
@@Facekick48 𝕠𝕞𝕘 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝟜𝕥𝕙 𝕓𝕠𝕣𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤 𝕞𝕪 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 :-/
This comment. WAS A MISTAKE
@@door.4975 it was already a mistake duh 🙄🙄
@@door.4975 Humanity was a mistake
When the game hasn’t quite finished rendering.
Looks like the Cyberpunk 2077 holiday update finally finished downloading!
Last time I ran this, the game was loading perfectly fine but the textures were all missing, they should really fix this bug
Love the wings of fire pfp
@@seamy8959 Thanks
Roblox games when some of the models hasnt downloaded
You can grab any product directly from the screen, even if it's off. Oh! and if you take a look in those shelves behind, you can find a pack of how much she loves you. If a thief enters the store, does he steal everything and nothing at the same time?
*Macintosh Plus - Floral Shoppe plays.
@@amosneek1052 why does it matter? The joke still works, doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or girl or non binary robber
F**k i was gonna give give this comment a like for not havings tags
Schrödinger's heist
@@heathchisenhall1732 His comment is invisible. What's he say?
Plot twist: every child's play/pretend objects end up at these stores
I bought my in-laws nothing this Christmas, kept the gift receipt in case they don't like it.
But who wouldn't like nothing?
@@cupcake5000 Twitter would find some way to hate it.
@@greattitan371 lol I'm sure
Bro, you got a receipt?
@@misty-skies no we have nothing
“Perhaps when you come back again I will be wearing nothing” *I have been lied to*
You dont know that, he could be wearing nothing jewelry
*Perhaps.*
Well he is wearing nothing under his clothes
@@SnorkLayton CURSED BUT TRUE
69th like LETS GOOO
How can this man talk about nothing for 1h? What a legend!
He's done it twice.
well that's a lot of nothing
Sometimes i like to think uncle E is literally just a peaceful SCP that can relax people with his voice. Rooting into you brain giving you tingles and makes you sleep.
this is unironically a great idea for an SCP tho. no horror. no spooks. just a cute creature that makes you sleep when you want to
@@SnoFitzroy exactly, at least someone understands!
"what do you want for Christmas?" "Oh I don't know, nothing really" *SAY NO MORE*
Underrated
*no more*
Nod 's good as a wink to a blind bat, know what I mean, nudge nudge?
How about "say nothing more"?
Ah yes, the amount of "Nothing" has expanded in "Nothing" alot since i came here. "Nothing" could be better
I can sense your comment will get over 2k likes :)
@@user-yq1kn1dg6c ppp}}} p}} popped up ppppp}}} pour ppppppp}} pp} ppp}}}} pp}} pour a}
@@user-yq1kn1dg6c 90 de a
999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
@@dermarsianer3338 Tru doe
Just yeets the clipboard. If he makes a video about how it flew so far it landed into a different characters video thar would be legendary
The nothing store series is definitely my favorite set ER has made so far. I keep coming back to both of these videos!
POV: You're at a Sony store trying to buy a PS5
Bruh
lmfaooo
lol
it's so true it scares me
20:22
I can't wait for a trip to their rival business across the street: the Everything Store.
I was at Bed Bath and Beyond Saturday. Whole lot of the Bed and Bath, not a lot of Beyond. Don't waste your time.
It doesn't have a chance
But that place is expensive
@@U_NoKev yeah it costs everything
@@DevilJhoMama sad thanos noises
Why is his voice so calming man😭
Kinda what asmr is supposed to do
Well he's been practicing for about 11 years
“Is everything here the same price?” “Yes, everything costs nothing” *i’ll take your entire stock*
Stock of what 🧑🏻🦰
@@jellyhamster1872 nothing
@@legendarypillow1450 u know go to Asmr gibi
“I’m sure there’s someone that deserves nothing”
"I'm in this picture and I dont like it"
@Mason Mierzwinski whatl’s up Mason
what are the damn numbers
WHAT DO THE NUMBERS MEAN
@Christian Ball I guess so
"We DO NOT accept first born." 2nd borns: *Chuckles* "I'm in danger."
Frick I’m in trouble
Im both a first & third born depending on what parent you look at Dad - third born Mom - first born
@Robert Scott That was uncalled for
@@dull_demon4717 Stfu band kid. (Jk lol)
@@dylanlunney4623 im not a band kid tho, im an art kid
Plot Twist: Everything in the Nothing Store is invisible and they are just calling it Nothing cuz they have their own brand
I rate this place 5 stars, I once went shopping here and I was lucky enough to find a vintage Nothing Trading Card Pack, I pulled a Onega-Rare card that you can sell for NOTHING ONLINE! Isn’t that crazy, and I got the Pack for the very decent and fair price of Nothing. This place has nothing you need, it’s great
Everytime Ephemeral Rift says "Nothing", take a shot of "nothing"
I almost died of nothingolism
A literal gallon later...
Nothing happened
Every time he says nothing take a shot of vodka good luck
@@johnrodrigues2018 nothing to it I guess.
Man, he threw that clipboard so fast that it looks like he was embaresed to have SOMETHING. In his NOTHING shop
Well you see the paper actually had nothing on it. The clipboard is allowed, as without something on it, it's clipping nothing. Why did he throw it then? No idea. I can come up with nothing
Very suspicious...perhaps a secret message in vanishing ink? I must tell dr corvus....
Imagine how chaotic the world outside of this shop has to be in order to be able to offer nothing to its customers. That would imply that humanity is at a point where it lives in a state of constant sensory overload.
Search up this one artist who sells artpieces of nothing.
"We do not accept First born" "I'll be back in nine months, hold nothing for me"
Lmao
“Is their someone in your life who deserves nothing?”
Yo that got me laughing hard
Of course I know him, he’s me.
Well there is the firstborn son I still have- wait that’s me.
Yes, yes
@@noeljonsson3578 luke: *whines like a little baby as always*
0:24 Uncle E: "Ah yes, welcome and happy holidays" ALSO UNCLE E: *throws the clipboard across the room*
Yeeeeeeeeet
That made me bust out laughing. Love his randomness!
Uncle...
I wonder how he did that without us hearing the clattering
@@evanpalmer4893 pillows, thats my guess
ER: "Have I seen you before?" Me: "Oh, why yes you have. Thanks for remembering. We have a daily appointment to help me sleep." Love your videos, thanks for helping me get a good night's sleep:)
Now we’re just waiting for the everything shop episodes
He still heartin comments?
POV: You're a mom who is trying to get the latest console for their child.
POV: you’re someone at the store trying to purchase toilet paper
@Matthew Schurke very funny, but wouldn’t he be the liquor salesperson, and you’re the alcoholic?
Yeah, i live in spain so my mom and i went into a famous brand of supermarkets called El corteingles, we live at the capital, Madrid and we went to the biggest possible supermarket here and when we arrived the told us they had no xsx neither ps5 left i mean I want the xbox but literally there were lots of ps5 empty boxes
@Matthew Schurke my social studies class is on the 1920's unit
@Matthew Schurke wtf
"Would you like to donate nothing to this charity ?" My empty pocket : My time has come
@@unsettlingcuppofcoffee3144 is broke people were always useful , we can pAY IN LIVES
@@unsettlingcuppofcoffee3144 personally I prefer the raiding approach, you know *KILL* *MAIM* *BURN* and all that
Yo pog 60 nothing! My life is complete now
@@unsettlingcuppofcoffee3144 don't kill me i can give you a couple thousands 🥴🥴
@@unsettlingcuppofcoffee3144 dr pepper
Me: *steals something* Officer: “Hey! What is that behind your back?” Me: “…nothing…”
I like how he chucks the clipboard and then just nervously placed the pen perfectly
*walks in* *reads sign* “Damn it!” *throws away firstborn* *walks out*
damn
They don’t accept firstborn but do they accept the firstborns soul
@@TheUncivilizedNation good idea speeeed wagooonnnee
The sign doesnt say anything about second born tho so...
Abortion 100
"is there someone in your life that deserves NOTHING?" oh yes, i could go on and on..
Nobody deserves nothing. Nobody is a good guy.
Nice pfp
How does he not laugh while saying
Rift: “You can also pay with an arm and a leg.” Edward Elric: _angry short person noises_
Holiday shopping can always seem so stressful, but I have to say that this place really helps me find the nothing that my family wants. The nothing my family deserves
Alternate title “shopping at PlayStation after the ps5 release”
xD
True
I'd like a PS2 with a side of corrupted memory card.
They didn’t even sell cardboard boxes that time
XD 😂
POV: You walked into a high lvl town an try to buy something while being lvl 1
Dang, we aren't even leveled up enough to SEE the items lol and the N.P.C is glitching saying that everything is "Nothing" 🕴🕴🕴
Ya know what im gonna skyrim you **puts bucket over your head**
It’s like trying to hit Goron City first In botw when you have like 20 rupees to your name- tho it’s easier to just run and get the fireproof bois but still lmao ✋ everyone just blows you off like a useless lil shit 💀
POV you go to Vivec immediately off the ship
@@iamsherlocked2882 "gee squidward, maybe santa will bring me a dictionary so I can understand what ya just said!"
Honestly, i feel like this store is placed in a world where everyone uses their imagination, and their imagination got so realistic that they could see and hear things in nothing (the word as well) but the viewer is the only sane person that can see that it is nothing.
Nothing?
.
@@josephstalin9298 Yes. Nothing
I picked up a gift for my girlfriend from this store. You should have seen the look on her face when I told her I got her nothing.
I bet she was ecstatic
“Ten percent of nothin’ is, let me do the math here, nothin’ and a nothin’. Carry the nothin’..”
you get -10% of nothing
I read this and it killed me. i rarely find people who’ve seen Firefly
@@icarusiskidding7207 Finally, someone who gets it!! I was waiting for someone to understand:)
@@happigoth by far my favorite tv show ever made
"or First Born" It wouldn't be there if someone didn't try it.
It's the kind of thing that can go perfectly with the "What the hell happened here" meme format.
Man trades baby for 15 Big Macs. Really happened. America is truly the greatest country.
Dammit my efforts have gone to waste And I collected so many
The first born joke is from the comment of the unintelligible cashier where someone commented if they accepted first born
How about second born
it feels like the nothing gemstone ring is a lvl 100 wizard equipment. increases nothing by 80%
It would help my nothingmancer habilities a lot
4:10 Gotta love the Planes, Trains, and Automobiles reference.
ER: tries selling me nothing Me: *I’ll take your entire stock*
Nomega stonks
But do you have enough nothing to pay?
Epherial rift it is time you are now referenced in multiple videos that arent even ASMR related you need to take control now rise you have waited a very long time for this
Shut up and take my nothing
I wish they had the new nothing 5 in stock I’ve been searching every nothing store
"I'm sure there's someone in your life who deserves nothing this holiday season." SAVAGE, I love it! (Also, so accurate.)
ok rachel
Why do I keep reading Sausage instead of Savage on everything. Am I dyslexic.
@@Vampiratejurien or you are hungry
Might be me, tbh I feel I’ve been a dick to my mom, however she says otherwise.
This man is a genius
Me: "What's your favorite villain in any story, could be a book, movie, tv show, video game, whatever?" ER: "The Nothing, from the Neverending Story. Great movie where the hero fights Nothing - literally."
The first born joke is from the comment of the unintelligible cashier where someone commented if they accepted first born
That's really interesting.
Ah so you Remember him to
That's actually really nice.
Beautiful
I dont know if that's true but in too lazy to check so... *likes comment*
Seeing this in my recommended filled me with inscrutable joy
Wow, we really do get exited for nothing these days, don't we
@@greattitan371 Some Guy Named Sam was literally excited over nothing. The video is about nothing. He is excited for the video. He got excited for nothing.
Welcome to the club
I have been filled with determination
Agreed friend
This is the first time I’ve laughed at an asmr video “do you know someone who really deserves nothing!”
The real beauty behind this is when he throws the clipboard, he silenced the sound when he edited this so you just hear the paper flying through the air
When I ask my mom what is she gonna buy me this Christmas My mom: Nothing
Pog
F
I been told multiple times I am good for nothing!
@@JasonRBeing I, too, have been told I was worth nothing.
When you're broke, but still have to go Christmas Shopping
I’m surprised at how many backgrounds rift has. It’s like he works at Hollywood
Pov: you're actually there to listen to the non-existent music at the nothing store to steal bunch of nothing and run out of there with nothing
ER you should make shirts for your tee spring that say “I went to The Nothing Store and all I got was this stupid shirt”
Or “all I got was nothing” 😂
make the shirt transparent
The Emperor’s new clothes
@@marionettehone 10/10 short story
I got that when I was born
"Have I seen you before?" Well, I've watched/listened to the grand opening of the Nothing Store before sleep countless times.
Saaaaaaame
After some time and thought I really do like you're nothing bow tie it really suits your whole entire outfit in this video
hate to be the guy but: *your
3:32 Wait he said they were nothing stores in the past and future omg I would love to see a cyber punk and 1930s nothing store
It's getting harder to find stores that accept first born sons nowadays "Sorry jimmy you'll have to deal with me for a little bit longer"
"Y'know what, I'm gonna get that kid nothing" It's hard to tingle when I'm trying so hard not to laugh
Great profile pic!
@@ItsLsloSand ;)
I have a love hate relationship with your profile pic 😂
@@serenitygrant8127 That's the correct response. I have a love hate relationship with you knowing what my profile pic is
@GameDox 20 i mean does it really matter?
The fact he said he saw "us" at the grand opening a MILLENIA ago gives us the fact this man has been managing a sustainable business for 1000 years Now that's dedication
This store's selection is even more relevant in 2022. Best value for our money
WOOOO YEAH BABY THATS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT WOOHOO
Have a good day lol
WE'RE MAKIN A UNICORN TAKE A SHIT
@@willowthewisp8659 That's exactly what i've wanted to hear
I totally agree, loved the first one so much!
Same lol
When they said, "Would you rather have nothing for Christmas!?" I think this guy took it WAAAAAAAY too literally.
you should make an invisible object store, where you sell us things we can hear but cant see
“It’s doing a great job spreading awareness about nothing” Like the Red Cross?
Someone should write up an SCP document for this.
Extradimensional SCP-The Nothing Store Would be interesting to make it so that people fixate on it even though there is nothing there. Like millions of aisles of empty shelves and people stuck constantly browsing
@@danielcorey377 almost like scp 3008 but where the shelves are empty
@@danielcorey377 similar to the ikea scp where the store is endless and no one can escape
Lol
@@comrademepmep1634 how did your finals go ?
Rift my dude. The humor in this is masterclass, The clipboard at the start and the ”your last name” at the end. And your delivery is just perfect.
drink a glass of water everytime he says "nothing" stay hydrated
ide prefer not to have my bladder explode thanks /j
I wonder if there is a nothing person in the multiverse where we still have clothes but are invisible to the naked eye
"Is there someone in your life who deserves nothing this holiday season?" LOLLL.
At first I was worried I couldn't pay because of the sign on the register, but then I remembered I still have arms and legs. What a relief.
Your creativity and ability to run with your God given intuition is amazing, been watching you for several years and have only seen you improve and spread love. From your amazing outlandish roleplay’s, to the relatable father and son talks, we thank you for being a haven!
The fact they felt the need to put “no first borns” on the register... I KNEW THIS STORE WAS FAMILIAR! MOM!
“Oh. Greetings, and happy holidays.” *Y E E T*
The Nothing Store is my favourite! I love that the sequel is holiday themed, and that the store is still open when we need it most. And I do know people who deserve “nothing” this Christmas
When you simplify the sentence "...you know that when you donate nothing to them, it is used properly," it becomes "nothing is used properly"
Watching ephemeral rift makes me realize the most random stuff sometimes, like how the shelf in the background vaguely resembles the first level of donkey Kong.
Nobody: ER: YEETS clipboard, but sets pen down GENTLY
the clipboard never landed...
@@coopercounts6581 it entered a rift, where it was sent to a Nothing Store employee of another timeline.
@@coopercounts6581 had to land on something cushioned.
I don't know what you're taking about i saw nothing in his hands😏.
lol
This store has so many of my things here, they have the instrument I play, my girlfriend, and my will to live.
(X) S ame
My car, my wallet, my education, my furniture, so many wonderful things!
My IQ as well
Your videos are amazing. I love just listening to them for their stories. When I’m listening to them so I can fall asleep I get way better sleep than normally, you’re just amazing at what you do
Eve. The clipboard throw was quiet and ASMR sounding! I love it!
Litterally Nothing 156k people: Hm, interesting.
Twice, this is a continuation
You can’t say anything you clicked on too
Overused bad comment
@@salad2.020 ikr?
@@salad2.020 that's why your stupid pizza table clip got ten views lol
Half off nothing. I can't believe it. I think that's legitimately the best deal I've ever gotten on anything.
no, it isn’t, it’s the best deal you’ve ever gotten on nothing
No.
Look at you two, arguing over nothing
i can get all my christmas shopping done here. 10/10
Good to see the shop's all back in stock for the holiday season!
ER: “Is there someone in your life who deserves nothing?” Me: “I know quite a few people...” *Pulls out list of over one million names*
You are a kind and generous person
@@shwingleman Thank you! I pride myself in being kind and giving this time of year.
Honestly me, I have a long, long, long list of people I really hate
Darn he put my name on the list
@@geoffw6007 then keep them away from this shop
ER: Is there someone in your family that deserves nothing? Me: Yes, i know him. He's me!
well i would have to disagree with that statement! :( i hope someone didnt make u feel that way :(
@@maddog9265 your a kind human
ℕ𝕠𝕠𝕠𝕠 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥 🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁 𝕀 𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕤 😌😘😊
I don't even have a person to give nothing to
_Do not assume that mortal, we all deserve something, even anything. Remember, you could be that guy named nothing that was using his third and fourth birthed as payment._ _Viktor Reznov, Modern warfare 4, GTA6_
Why do I always love these nothing store videos? A true innovator I tell you!
An underrated advantage of this RP is that whilst the visuals are great, it loses nothing of its charm when only listening. Makes for great sleep aid.