Opening up about my depression & chronic illness
my graves diagnosis: • i was diagnosed with g...
chris klemens' video: • Mental Health Update (...
MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES:
If you are in crisis, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Free Anonymous Online Support Group: healthunlocked.com/anxiety-de...
Learn About Treatment (plus how to choose your therapist): www.adaa.org/understanding-anx...
Symptoms of Depression (includes a link to a site in Spanish): www.adaa.org/understanding-anx...
instagram • / katherout
twitter • / katherout
tumblr • / kather0ut
blog • katherout.com
TIME STAMPS:
0:00 - hi
1:07 - getting on medication for my chronic illness
2:08 - my mental health getting bad
3:34 - being diagnosed with depression
6:28 - getting support
8:10 - dealing with my illness @ work + ableism
14:22 - treatment / how i started feeling better
18:11 - moving forward
BUSINESS INQUIRIES: if you are a company interested in working with me or you would like me to review a product, feel free to contact me at katherout@gmail.com
I used to take advantage of being able bodied but this year I was diagnosed with cancer. It’s been a rough journey but I most definitely am an advocate now for health in general, and that of course includes mental health. We need to listen to our bodies and put our health first before anything else. Thank you for being honest about your journey!
God bless you! Keep believing
Sorry to hear that. I've found the Chris Beat Cancer program is helping me.
Can someone tell me how u overcome depresstion.fear anxiety when u have chronic illness.plz help
@@annefrankannefrank99 I know you commented this 5 months ago but I wanted to respond! I think therapy is a great place to start. You can get through this! 🤗
Love you Kath ❤️❤️❤️
that shirt makes your eyes pop! so pretty!
"Okay you get 2 serotonin molecules every month, what do you want to do with them?" I laughed because that is SO relatable. But seriously, sorry to hear you're struggling and I'm wishing you well (and more serotonin molecules).
I liked that part too... really helps destigmatize depression when think about it in chemical terms.
Katherine, I’ve been a loyal ghost viewer for a long time-probably since you started college. I need you to know that the things you expressed in this video (and in previous ones) are not “dramatic.” To call it dramatic, I think, is to delegitimize just how intense, impactful, and difficult these life experiences are. I’ve dealt with chronic illness since early college, and then of course all the other mental illnesses that typically follow these things...and honestly, it’s been a cathartic experience to follow along with you over the last year, and to hear your perspective and values shift as deeply as mine did five years ago. I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to go through this year...thank you for having the grace to reflect and share some of it with us.
I really appreciate the video! It took a lot of courage and I know it'll reach those who need it
Truly helpful! Thank you so much for starting the conversation :)
Thanks so much for posting this ❤️ hoping you continue to feel better.
Thanks for sharing your story! I love seeing people talk about this and normalizing it ❤️
I have Graves and I also became clinically depressed about 6 months after diagnosis. As a psychiatric nurse I was very shocked and took it hard but it's actually extremely common for people with Graves to experience severe depression-as our thyroid affects every bodily system and function. A year in you are still very much in the 'early' stages of treatment for Graves. The treatment is long-term and requires a lot of monitoring and tweaking so i'm not surprised you see-sawed when you weren't having your bloods checked. The ups and downs may continue for a while but will eventually settle. As for work- the only people that need to know are your HR dept and immediate manager to enable them to make necessary reasonable adjustments. I personally don't tend to tell other people as it doesn't really affect them and I don't want to be treated 'differently' if you know what I mean. One day Graves will be just a part of you rather than who you are. 😊
Thank you so much for sharing! I was diagnosed with both a mental illness & physical chronic illness this year and I'm so glad you opened up about your experience
You are so well-spoken! I could listen to you all day. Thanks for posting such an awesome video and being so real
Katherine, this has really helped me as did Sarah’s story a few years back ❤️ thank you and you deserve all the love in the world.
THANK YOU for being so vulnerable it's such a hard thing to do on the internet. depression and chronic illness are so common and the more its talked about on the internet, the less alone so many people can feel. we should all take care of yourselves before we can be there for others
I am so sorry about your friend. It sounds like you had a great friendship
Go Katherine!!!! Taking care of yourself is the best form of radical love
Thank you for sharing your struggle.It will definitely help others.
Honestly this is the most real and relatable I've ever heard anyone speak about mental illness online before. Thanks u Kath & love you so much ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Katherine. It really helps when content creators I watch normalize struggles with mental health . Congratulations on working towards managing your mental health, I know how hard it can be. You've got this!
Love this and how open/real you are!! 4 years ago I was in a depressed state too and felt like I was digging myself into a hole and that it would never end. I totally relate to everything you said. And yesss things will get so much better and I think it makes you much stronger too in the future! I hope everything goes well:) and I’m always free to chat
Thank you for your vulnerability, your honesty and your courage! That pit in the stomach feeling you get when you start feeling low again because you're scared it's all gonna start again? I felt that. I've been there. I'm still there sometimes. But your friend is right: it does get better! So much, so incredibly better! To anyone that reads this and is at the bottom of this pit: you will be better someday, and in the meantime, just hang on and be kind to yourself. Just by not giving up, you are doing everything you need to.
Katherine, thank you so much for making this video!! It was so validating and so good for raising awareness for mental health issues❤️ I’m so glad you caught the signs and got help. I’m sure Sarah’s watching of you❤️
Thank you for sharing. I’ve been feeling really lost with my life and living back with my parents just does not help. Thank you for all your videos, it makes me feel motivation that we are not alone 💗
I started crying hearing you describe what depression feels like because I felt so seen. Thank you so much for making this video and sharing. I can’t imagine what you experienced/experience having chronic (physical) illness on top of that but I’m glad that you’ve been able to start figuring out how to feel better! Keep hanging in there! I appreciate every single one of your videos so much
Thank you for talking about this! I have no experience with chronic illness, but I'm so happy we can all finally talk about our mental health.
Thank you so much for addressing health and work. It can be so challenging to navigate, especially when you're new to the workforce all of your managers are telling you you're not sick enough to take even just one day, just because they are underprepared. Such a tough topic to figure out on your own so thank you for speaking on it!
Thank you for for being vulnerable and sharing ❤️ I have struggled with depression and anxiety all throughout my undergrad and it feels good to know that I am not alone in this. Hang in there Katherine, you’re not alone!!
This video hit so hard - I've often struggled with my mental health and this year has been particularly tough, but hearing about your experiences really shows how many people it affects. I'm grateful you've put yourself out there to share what you're going through and I'm sure it will help many others too. Thank you for continuing to be open with us about your journey, and I really hope you are okay and doing well, even if you have to take each day as it comes ❤️
thank you so much for sharing! i really appreciate hearing your thoughts about mental health
I’ve had the same experience of high and low - it’s amazing how strong the medications are, but I hope you are able to see the doctor at every chance you feel the swings. Definitely trust your body, like you said that little sucker is seriously strong
Not sure if I've ever commented before but this was such an important video. I'm so proud of you for doing it! Lots of love from Finland.
Thank you so much for opening up about that this! I was born without a thyroid and a lot of people don’t understand how much it really does impact you and your overall mental health. Sending you the most strength as you go through all of this and I hope it all gets better! Balance is hard to find but the right dose will feel like magic! ❤️
Great video! Depression is something I have struggled with since I was very young and it's always comforting to hear other peoples stories.
You are amazing! I’ve been following you for years but especially your content over the last few months is just something else ✨ I really hope you’ll get to a place where your conditions become manageable for you. As someone who spent years in a dark pit of depression but - for the most part - made it back into the bright side, let me tell you, it will get better. Don’t know how, but it will. 🤍🤍🤍
I've been watching you from the beginning and this is so incredibly helpful. I have had anxiety and depression since college but was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, acromegaly, and bipolar disorder this year. Your discussion on destigmatizing mental health has made me feel so much better. Especially now, going through 6 weeks of radiation and actually using my sick days for sick days not just calling out sick because I'm sick but still being "virtually plugged in" because of this remote work environment stress I have created. Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing! A couple years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety and believe that depression is now in the mix as well. This year, mostly the past few months, I’ve been at the lowest point I’ve ever been mentally. Watching videos like this just makes me feel so validated and I cannot thank you enough for having the courage to share your experience❤️
Thank you for sharing. I went through a similar experience with depression this year. Starting graduate school online in a new school sent me into a downward spiral of depression I’ve never experienced before. Everything you described is so relatable! Just by being open about mental health and chronic illness you are an advocate.
thank you so much for speaking out! as for how I'm doing been missing my friends ever since COVID started, and struggling through college right now.. thank goodness I'm close to finishing school. Hope you're doing well!
Thanks for sharing! It’s way more relatable than you think. ❤️
Thank you so much for this video, really came at the perfect time for me ❤️
Whattt two uploads a week?! YAY!!!! Thank you for speaking up about this topic. I’ve had a tough year as well and I’m sure a lot of us have well. I haven’t considered medication yet.
Sending so much love Kathryn ❤️ thank you for sharing this video with us and talking openly about mental health and overall health, this is such a challenging time for us and while I am glad to watch positive and happy and festive content as we approach the holidays, it also feels so authentic and peaceful and real to listen and engage in honest discussions about coping and slowing down and just surviving these past few months fully acknowledging the privileges that each of us may or may not have along the way. I paused and felt so much joy seeing the text messages you shared because there is nothing like having a loved one or close friend by your side to send long texts with words of encouragement reminding you that no matter what, it will get better, and it’s possible to focus on self care and take things one day at a time. I hope you’re having a great, restful weekend.
You explain all the symptoms you experienced really well.
I understood and could relate to EVERYTHING that you said in this video, as my mental issues has gotten significantly worse as of late. With that being said, I have learned to embrace vulnerability and pursue education on the said issue(s) and having massive empathy for these illnesses themselves. We’re all in this together and I thank you so much for your candor and wisdom! 😊
I have struggled with hypothyroidism for years and also depression so I DEFINITELY feel where you’re coming from! Depression is terrifying and one of the hardest things that I’ve dealt with. I still have my days where it’s hard to get out of bed but if you keep pushing forward and seek help it does get better! Thanks for shining a light on it and normalizing how hard it is ❤️ sending love to anyone going through this, I know a lot more people are having mental health issues during this pandemic
Thanks for your vulnerability and sharing your thoughts with us. Opening up about depression is such a difficult thing to do and I’m glad more people are talking about! I’m a nursing student and it surprised me that a majority of the inpatient psych patients I talked to were college students.
You're not dramatic whatsoever. Hearing your story and your words of encouragement are so needed for me and so many others. Thank you for making this video 🙂.
As someone who’s 3 months post depressive episode, i relate to so much that you said, & just want to say that you articulated the feeling of having depression so well - thanks for being so vulnerable & sharing. It makes people like me feel less alone ❤️
Sometimes I struggle with putting how i’m feeling with my depression into words, and you just did it so well. I definitely got emotional listening to you talk about what seemed like my experience. Thanks Katherine
You are genuinely someone i would do almost anything to date and get to know more on a personal level. I love all of your videos. Thank you
Also on an unrelated note your makeup is on fleek 💕
Love you!!! Thank you for sharing that with us
wow thanks so much for this video, it really hit home for me. I lost an aunt to mental illness a few years back and it was extremely traumatic for my family, it's just weird how I thought I would never be in that place but those feelings hit so unexpectedly. I also have been dealing with a chronic illness for the past 5 years, NDPH, basically I have a constant headache all day every day, and migraines too occasionally. People don't understand at all just how difficult it is especially since it is an invisible illness and hard to accommodate. It is often exhausting, fighting through pain every day and I don't think people often grasp how much it can deplete my functioning because I look "healthy".
Thank you for this video. My partner suffers with severe depression, so hearing you speak so openly about this helps me not only understand you better, but understand him better as well.
You are so right that it is difficult to understand unless you've experienced depression, but you are also so good at describing the feeling. I felt like I could completely follow what you were saying. Thank you for sharing, it is so important.
This was all really well put! I definitely chuckled at the "2 serotonin molecules" part, because I think a lot of us know what that feels like. In general though, this was awesome to see and made me feel less alone. It's not easy to have a chronic illness and mental health issues at the same time, especially when one is very related to the other. It's all about taking it a little at a time and also advocating for yourself whenever necessary. Thank you for this lovely and honest video. 💙
Thank you so much for sharing! As a pharmacy student and as someone who has had severe OCD in the past, I greatly value your insights into your health conditions. Fortunately, I overcame it without medications. Very sorry to hear that you lost your best friend to depression. Keep being strong and take care, Katherine!
Doing well now, but every month or so I have a really hard time so I screenshotted those text messages you shared. Really good stuff, thank you so much for sharing!!
I'm glad I found your channel. I struggle with both depression and Grave's. I really wish I had good advice to give you and really anyone struggling with this, but a lot of bad shit had to happen for me to finally learn for myself how to work through things mentally. Over time, I've just learned how to live with depression, and that trying to resist it or pretend that it doesn't exist will just make it worse. I also went through a phase where I tried to just be positive, and I learned that self proclaimed "positive people" actually damaged me and other people and for that, they are really toxic. I just learned to be more comfortable in my own skin and learn to live with my mental illness because it's not going to go away. I've learned to act more based on logic than emotion, and while I'll never be perfect at it since I'm human, it's helped a lot and I've been able to do a lot more for myself. I started getting serious about art and I've been going strong even though it's felt like torture forcing myself to practice even on days when I absolutely don't want to draw. But as I've pushed through, it's gotten easier because I am pushing through my general lack of motivation and happy feelings, and I guess my brain is actually giving me dopamine now. Hehe.
Thank you for talking about this, I really needed it today. While I haven't necessarily fallen into "the pit" as I have in the past, it feels like this year is a constant cycle of fighting back the depression monsters and managing the anxiety spiral. Like my full-time job is just making sure I don't swing one way or the other b/c I'm afraid if I do start drowning in either side I'll never fight my way out. This year's been so draining to navigate even as a largely able-bodied person I just don't know how some people are handling things with such grace. So thank you again for this video, I teared up watching it! Also, the part about preferring anxiety over depression b/c u know how to handle it is 100% something I've said before and it's so true.
Thank you for making this video! I have a chronic illness and it has wreaked havoc on my life for 2 years now. Sometimes doing simple tasks completely wipe me out. I’m still trying to find the right medication for me and ways to manage my symptoms.
You explain things so well.
Love you Kath. I lost my dad months ago and had very bad arguments with my close families... life have never been so awful and I felt so hard to get out of bed every morning. EXACTLY the same feeling "falling into a very deep pit" and lost control of my own life. It's comforting to hear people talk about mental health and the struggles they are facing. Best wishes to you and people struggling out there.
For anyone who is suffering from anxiety and depression know that your loved and always keep your head held high 💖
Ohhhh girl I just wanted to say that going back on antidepressants, even having to update them frequently, is totally normal! I have had depression on and off throughout my life - also totally normal. Thank you for taking care of yourself and for being transparent about your mental health. You got this. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your experience. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this because I am going through exactly what you went through. Your video validate my doubts and all the emotion I’ve been feeling. I went from hyper to hypo too. I also went through an episode with extreme exhaustion and I am in a hustle culture. Thank again for the video. I just want to let you know that this means a lot to me.
I got diagnosed with graves in august after years of weird symptoms with not realising i was unwell. i took the semester off uni to recover and slowly getting levels to normal. thanks for sharing your graves/brain stories. it was super helpful when i was diagnosed! :)
I really appreciate you being open and very honest about your mental health Katherine! I've been watching you for a while, since your junior or senior year in USC, I'm usually don't comment. But I think it's honestly important that people with platforms are able to show (as much as they're comfortable in sharing) the bad, as well as the good in their lives. I'm sure that a lot more people, either viewers or other content creators, have also had their share of mental health struggles, but have kept it silent. Mental health is obviously still stigmatized, so I do appreciate you taking the time to share this part of your life. I'm keeping you in my thoughts, and I'm so glad that you have resources and supportive friends around you ❤️
I have dealt with anorexia, hypothyroidism, depression and anxiety so I really relate to you, especially on the mental health part. Stay strong, it gets easier to manage ❤
Thank you so much for sharing that Katherine. I definitely have experienced that sudden burst of depression and that feeling of hopelessness. I went through some kind of depersonalization in my senior year of high school and some depression later in university. Recently I’ve been coming to terms with my ADHD and how much it’s actually affected my life so far and how distorted ADHD is and how little we actually know about it. Love this video, would always be willing to hear more of your experiences with this. ❤️
Thank you for this !!❤️
You did a fantastic job articulating your journey! Thank you for being so open on this platform
Your Best Friend Sarah summed it up perfectly.... You do feel like a shell of your former self when you're deep in depression and that in itself is devastating 💔 much love and hugs!
Thanks so much for opening up about this.. it's very courageous of you. I can relate to doing CBT and therapy for depression and anxiety. It's nasty nasty stuff... Insomnia, from my experience, is the worst of them all.
Thank you for sharing your story!!
Another depressive (and thyroid-affected) here. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Thank you for sharing this and other painful but essential testimonies.
Thank you for opening up about this. I was diagnosed with graves in January of 2020 unexpectedly. I already have a heart condition and then later on in October of 2020 I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I am going to a GI specialist this month to find out if I have Crohn’s disease. And also slowly going blind. Life has really been hard for me so seeing that I’m not the only one going through medical stuff that brings out a lot of depression makes me feel better.
Hi, thank you for being you, thank you for being so brave and share what you feel here. Much appreciated🥰 Hopin the best of the best would be with you along the way ahead🧡
I can relate so much 💜 keep fighting!!
Thank you for your vulnerability 💜
thank you for speaking up about mental health!!! COVID has kinda forced me to address these issues / gave me the time to address them and im so grateful for that
Wow can I just say - I felt SO understood as you were talking about your Graves' diagnosis! At the beginning of lockdown, my Hashimoto's initiated, leading to some pretty gnarly hyperthyroidism at the onset before descending into chronic hypothyroidism. The shaky hands, constant anxiety... it's the worst. So is the feeling of being hit by a TRUCK while still in bed at 10 in the morning. And it's so nerve-wracking to wait for the meds to start working (especially as the thyroid functions on the order of months rather than days as with other metabolic processes)! Hard to tell what's mental health and what's thyroid disease, and what's a combination as a woman in her early 20s diagnosed with a lifelong condition. I'd also like to thank you for your openness with your mental health. You as an individual are so strong - you've accomplished so much in your life so far, including taking time to ground yourself and understand your immediate positionality both mentally and physically. As someone else with chronic thyroid illness and chronic depression, trust me - you'll get through this. Suffering just as easily enters your mind as your body, and I am so so glad you've begun the journey of healing
the way I connect to this video on such a deep level omg...i have hashimotos and I constantly feel gaslit about literally having an illness? I have daily symptoms from hashimotos yet i feel like I'm not allowed to like...deal with that. I've had people around me tell me it's not a big deal. I've had to spend a lot of time dealing with realizing my symptoms are valid, they do cause harm in my life and that's ok, and that its just real. So, I totally understand. Thank you for this video
YOU’RE NOT ALONE!!!!! We’re all human and it’s perfectly okay to feel anxious sometimes. A very wise mall Santa that I met, back in 2018, once told me that “even on the cloudiest day the sun STILL shines behind those clouds meaning that no matter how dark it looks, the sun is STILL there and the joy and happiness is there for you as well”. No matter how scary or how uncomfortable things get for you, just know that everything’s going to be okay because you deserve to feel safe, loved, comforted, encouraged and for those who loved you and who really want to help u and be there for you and stay by your side either way. Whether from friends, family or anyone you trust and feel safe with. I maybe an autistic women whose probably may or may not have had a lot of panic attacks but I can honestly tell u. I’ve had anxiety attacks due to my fear of failure in school or at work and not being good enough as a person and losing my job and I’ve also struggled with anxiety and depression for quite a long time so I do understand perfectly well the feelings of worthlessness, lack of self esteem, anxiety, depression, self hatred, loneliness, feeling trapped, frustration, remorsefulness, insecurity and the feeling of wanting to get try to better yourself but always coming out as a failure. Plus having been through Covid and being forced to follow Covid safety protocols like many others, myself, has been deeply traumatizing and extremely difficult for me as well socially, mentally, physically and emotionally. The point is, your anxieties, your depression and everything mental health related DOES NOT define u for who you are, it’s what’s inside your heart and all the things we’ve accomplished in life and the kind of person u REALLY are in your heart that truly defines u for who u are. Some people are not gonna always understand what you’re going through and maybe they never will but as long as you have the people in your life who loved and cared about you or that special someone whom deeply loves u and genuinely cares about u and will do anything in the world to help u to overcome this, you’re gonna come out even stronger and more courageous than ever and before you’ll know it, you’re gonna surprise people by how far you’ve come in the end. Stay strong, have courage, be kind to yourself, take heart and NEVER EVER give up hope because you ARE beautiful and practically perfect just the way you are in every way . ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your experiences Katherine. Your experiences are completely valid. I am Disabled and it wasn’t until the last two years that I started to learn more about ableism and started the lifelong process of unpacking my internalized ableism. I have started a group for other Disabled employees at my company and have found so much solidarity in the community that is growing there. If you ever want to talk about navigating ableism in the workplace or even about internalized ableism, I’m happy to chat :)
As a fellow woman with a thyroid autoimmune disease, this is incredibly validating to listen to, and I hope you're feeling better. ❤❤ Nobody talks enough about the complexities of chronic illness in the workplace, and it was refreshing to hear your perspective on that.
You are stupendous! Also your room is popping off 😛
When I was 22 I went into a deep depression. My mom forced me out of my room after a week to go the doctor and a psych. I now take medication. Iv been taking it for five years. And I’m now correctly taking it and I’m still sad every now and then but for the most part I am capable of being a human now. Going through these times In life is like the realization that life is very very serious. It’s almost that you don’t understand it and how much of responsibility you have all the sudden destroyed me. I hope you are happier now and are looking for success in every day. And that you feel accomplished. Cause this type of thing is no joke.
thank you x100 million
thank you for this! I have anxiety and physical health issues as well, also have experienced depression. I have struggled with part-time jobs in the past because I feel all this pressure to put my 100% in and not take time off when I need it. I worry that I cannot work full-time because of all the demands and how it feels like one cannot take the time off they need for their health.
Thank you so much for this video!
Thanks so much for this 💗
thank you for this. You are so awesome.
I have been silently watching your videos since your college days and I remember when you posted the video about your best friend. To see how far you've come since then is amazing. I have been struggling with my own mental health recently (covid, school, and seasonal combo is not the best lol) and you have definitely made me feel less alone. I wish you all the best in your health journey, and as a medical student your insights into both your chronic and mental health conditions are greatly valued.
Who's a medical student? Katherine is in sales right?
Thank you so, so much for sharing your experience. I've been in a bit of a rut myself and could relate to a lot of what you said. I don't know if what's going on with me is due to COVID times, transitioning to a new school and town, or "actual" depression. I unfortunately related so much to your thoughts on ableism in the work place. I always feel guilty for not working and will often power through a bad day just in case I'm needed. I'm trying to find more of a balance between my work, mental health, and physical health. It just feels nice to know that other people are feeling the same way, even if their life circumstances are completely different. Also what did we do to deserve two uploads in one week?????
Young people are so smart and open about mental illness today. You are teaching the world.
I think the one thing I hate hearing in health care is "oh, but you're young". Thank you for being honest
As someone who struggles with mental health, I always enjoyed your videos but couldn’t help feel like a little bit of a failure and that I couldn’t be successful if I didn’t live up to your no excuses hustle culture lifestyle. While I would never wish mental illness on anyone I am happy to see your compassion and understanding that those internal struggles are valid and really do prevent you from being fully productive 100% of the time.
Stay strong!