The Power of Acceptance
2022 ж. 21 Сәу.
10 303 Рет қаралды
Acceptance is one of the most powerful tools in healing and recovery from almost any mental illness. In this episode, Dr. Ettensohn discusses what acceptance means, why it is so important, and how it applies to healing from pathological narcissism and NPD. This episode also includes instructions for practicing acceptance in the form of mindfulness meditation.
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#npd #narcissism #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #psychology #healing #mindfulness #mindfulnessmeditation #acceptance #psychologist
I will remove comments that are abusive to any individual (including myself) or population. This includes comments that are abusive toward pwNPD.
I'm not a narcissist, but I have borderline traits, anyways that means cluster b, I deeply appreciate non stigmatizing content out there on cluster b mental health awareness.
Thank you for your feedback.
Girly I've been diagnosed with BPD. I totally get that. However I've found our (at least my) issues with radical acceptance stems from the feelings of the stigma and its truth behind it that causes us. When we can accept that inadequate feeling of the truth in the stigma of BPD is when we become closer to healing from BPD. It's been years of treatment for me to accept that I feel inadequate most of the time. So much so I have rages. There's a reason why there's a stigma around us. When we accept the truth in the stigma is the day we start changing the narrative. Bc we will grow from it. It hurts. It sucks and it's effing hard af. But girly it's worth it and we're worth it. It's a beautiful feeling I promise u.
So I didn't appreciate nor like how this creator has said narcissism and BPD are almost exactly the same thing. I was going to suggest that they go back to the drawing board it then I thought that we're in the same cluster and I am very much narcissistic in many ways so maybe he's right. And my reaction will do nothing but prove that yes I'm acting as if I'm a narcissist in that very moment so accepting that negative feelings from being so similar to a narcissist is the very thing that will lead me further away from the narcissist. And no one had to know. Until I sent this to u. Which means I have the control to make sure that each day in each negative feeling I have it's a decision I make to either be a narcissist or take another step forward to heal from my inadequacy. I hope this makes sense and it helps u feel free from the negative stereotypes of ppl who weren't given or taught emotional intelligence as children. But the human mind is a powerful tool that with the choice of knowledge can heal itself. U got this!!
You are just wonderful, Dr. Ettensohn & that's the truth. No NPD flattery included.
I've been going through a pretty painful crisis recently. Thank you so much for giving me hope and some comfort. I was in a really dark place until I've found your content.
❤️
Meditation and self enquiry is actually what led me to realising I am narcissistic and this is what drives my behaviours and moods. It’s something I really haven’t enjoyed learning about myself and part of me wishes I wasn’t so aware, however, through practicing meditation, self acceptance and self love I have noticed how different I am today to what I was 2 years ago. I’m able to hold space for myself and others when there’s pain or disregulation, I’m much more patient & present (not all of the time) and can definitely feel empathy for another since becoming aware of my own struggles. I’d be interested to hear your opinions on NPD and dis regulation in the nervous system Dr and how this affects our emotions, thoughts and behaviours. Could learning to be in the state of rest and digest/ social engagement or safety help us to feel more whole and less relient on receiving admiration from others? I know I definitely feel less needy when I’m regulated but it can be challenging to be there consistently. Anyway, great video
Congratulations on becoming self aware, I applaud you. Is there something that happened that led you to self inquiry? What would it take to help someone else to get to that point? Or do they have to do it on their own because of circumstances?
@@nikhook1114 Thankyou. Illness lead me to self inquiry. Got diagnosed with ME/ CFS so life came to a standstill and my nervous system was completely burnt out. So spent a lot of time journalling/ meditating/ reading a lot etc and questioning everything. Since I wasn’t working, spent a lot of time reflecting on past relationships, looking back to childhood experiences and my behaviours. Always known something wasn’t quite right but never been able to put a finger on it. Anyway stumbled across some info on personality disorders then started looking into NPD and it was just me to a T. Now been in therapy for 4 months and I will continue therapy for years, likely throughout my life. I think they have to be willing to be honest with themselves. If they can’t do that, then they can’t be treated. I don’t think anyone can force them, that will end in more defensiveness and potential rage. Underneath is a lot of hurt and worthlessness, so you can understand why they wouldn’t want to acknowledge there is a problem. The very lay out of the disorder is designed to keep the person in a kind of dream world, one which the individual doesn’t see as a dream, but as their reality so you’re literally popping their safety bubble, which is terrifying from their perspective. I’d recommend ‘mental healness’ KZhead channel if you aren’t already aware. He is diagnosed with NPD and he often talks about getting a suspected pwNPD into treatment 👍 it is possible, but have to admit it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to come to terms with, and it’s very confusing. Hope it helps :)
@T Wills Do you get therapy as well for NPD? Thanks for sharing that mindfulness helps w/ it. That's an encouraging comment.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 Yeh i am in therapy once a week. Meditation and mindfulness are so important for me. When I don’t do it consistently I spiral. Don’t get me wrong it will never ‘fix it’ but it just allows for a bit of space and acceptance around your thoughts and emotions.
@@twillsJKZ any recommendations on a therapist that specializes in NPD?
Thanks for this. I have learned about radical acceptance from DBT books and I have found it very helpful at times. Now I will take it even more seriously. Your explanation of why it's effective is very clear. Up until now I used radical acceptance without really understanding why it helps in times of emotional distress
Oh a channel where I dont feel like a total monster. How refreshing. It baffles me, why there is so much acceptance for people suffering with gender disphoria, yet people, who were raised in an abusive/overprotective manner and developed NPD are seen as monsters who should go live in a cage or kill themselves. Some of these channels pushed me into deep depression, where I seriously considered suicide. The last thing I wanted was to be unable to love someone. I dont pick my "victims" Im no predator and I dont plan on hurting people, Im just deeply unsure of myself...I´m just venting here. thanks for the content.
Ugh, sounds like a horrible experience. I'm glad you are finding more supportive voices in your life.
Hello, Ide be your friend. Cause I get it. I know ea of us have different personalities and why. I’m just over this life. I’m not sick, or bad. I just hate life. I won’t hurt others. Others are cold and rejecting and I don’t care.
At least there's some channels like this. I've been searching narcissism to understand my ex of 10 years. I had to get out because of the cheating, but I don't think his disorder makes him a monster. Glad to see you're self aware and that you feel understood here.
I appreciate this page very much and I believe validating issues of gender dysphoria are also important :)
@@freefind1 yeah, validation is exactly the problem why it's such an issue nowadays. Most kids wouldn't even know about it.
Thank you for your clear description of self acceptance and meditation. I will be giving this a try as self acceptance so hard!
I have been working on balance for 8 years. Much of it started with mindful practices. Thank you for suggesting this and talking about wholeness. Carl jung said, "I'd rather be whole, than good."
Hey, I just wanted to thank you for this channel as a diagnosed narcissist. Love seeing acceptance and compassionate content out there. -tess🖤
New subscriber here! I am glad I found this channel.
Once again thank you for sharing your video it's educational and informative.
Thank you for mentioning grief! It was the start of my healing.
I’d love to hear about NPD and their relation to intimate partners.
Thanks for the suggestion. And thanks for watching. 😊
i just wanted you to know i really appreciate and love your channel. thank you very much for doing it! i like to rewatch your videos because they help me so much when i get lost. for me acceptance is such a hard thing. i struggle with it so much and fight reality instead of accepting it. i know i have to accept it - but still, i try, even though it often feels superficial. and i feel i have to let go of unrealistic expectations and fears in order to have a stable life and relationships. thank you very much again for all the work and kindness 🙏🏼 so good to have you here 🙏🏼
It s important to understand and accept your past, to have a remaining good life without anxiety.
Is this series on going? Been missing your content haha
Thanks for checking in! I’m hoping to put one up this week. :)
@@healnpd Hell yeah looking forward to it! Your channel is always my first recommendation for anyone wanting to learn about NPD (It would be mine but I don't want people in my life knowing about it LOL)
Another excellent episode 🙏thank you! Truly grateful ❤️
Glad you enjoyed it!
I'm afraid of anxiety and panic attacks (that somatic experience is awful) I haven't thought that I should embrace attacks as they will happen no matter what I wanted to get rid of it. Was thinking about it just this morning (I don't have NPD as far as I know) Now I'll try to think differently But, God, how I loathe those physical body reactions. It's dreadful.
How do you get out of the cronic state of collapse ? You should make a video on healing from a collapse there’s none out there
🤔 Thanks for the suggestion!
Great teaching . ( Abraham lincon notised and got the referent from the blueprint arkitekts Book Libery l think That Libery is a treachior on personalities what happened to our identity and our first caregiver ) 😊
Any advice on finding someone qualified for NPD in french in Brussels? Asking for a friend
Hi Dr - If society is creating so much stigma and judgment like you said, and the individual is internalizing that, how can one not be affected by societal exclusion when we are hard wired in our DNA to be affected by experiences of social exclusion/stigmatization?
So, fighting my self-compromising traits in the attempt of "trimming the fat" as a regular pursuit isn't normal? How many people have been professionally diagnosed again, 1%? These dilapidated feelings are definitely a steady background drain on the main, and they boil to the surface when I don't have people or other "dopaminergic activities" to distract me. I mean, dipping into spirituality has provided a lovely buffer zone for the intense negative emotions, so there's that too (honestly, just pick any 3000-year-old story book character and roll with it; Hell, start another fan club if you're up for it!). While I would decide against an official NPD diagnosis for multiple good reasons, therapy could at least help me with my crippling identity issues. I already use the literature to describe my internal landscape, as well as the kinds of interactions I have with others, and I see everything through this lense, so this could at least make the process much smoother.
Dipping into spirituality only makes me more grandiose in my experience, which isn’t something one should do if we want to “heal”. I find the hardest part about being a Narcissist is the incessant Fantasies of perfection. When I first began mindfulness and meditation, I realized how MUCH I actually operate within these “Castles in the Air”. Even when I’m doing something, it’s there. When I’m speaking to someone, it’s there. It’s probably the most intense and uncontrollable when I’m listening to music. I have no chance at meditating with music playing. It’s weirdly similar to Maladaptive Daydreaming, except it’s fantasies about receiving adulation and praise for doing something masterfully or performing some superhuman task. This is why I view NPD as a fantasy based “disorder”. Everything is connected through fantasy, our grandiosity, our entitlement, our unattainable goals and unrealistic expectations, our idealization/devaluation, black and white thinking, magical thinking, etc. Its all rooted in fantasy. With that being said, meditation, yoga and breath work seems to make things worse. Idk if I should just push through it? Because I get rageful, irritable and moody. I devalue the things I’m doing while I’m doing them, as those voices in my mind shout at me, only able to silence them once I stop what I’m doing. It was so frustrating. Idk if it’s my unrealistic expectations?
I really care about my ex girlfriend and with all the information that I’ve gotten from mark and the nameless narcissist I’m pretty sure she has the traits. Is there any way I can convince her that she has it so she can work on it. I feel like she’s in therapy and Is working on the wrong things. She refused couples counseling and wanted to work on her emotions w her therapist and alone.
I have no idea what Dr. Ettensohn is talking about. I’ve been in sober recovery from drugs and alcohol for 11 straight years. I know of mindful meditation and acceptance, but I have no understanding of how to accept the things I don’t like about the world. It feels like, if I am not depressingly resigned to the world, but “active” in any kind out outlook, I will be violently triggered by things that disgust me. I cannot accept a myriad of things in my daily life, and fear the false hope that mindful meditation brings.
Lincoln might have been quoting somebody…
I accept my reality but it s hilarious to repeat all these movies , it a crazy makingb
Why does nobody ever acknowledge that Abraham Lincoln was quoting JESUS (Matthew 12:25) when he said, 'A house divided against itself cannot stand'? He did NOT invent that saying. Please give credit where credit is due.
good point but maybe people quote Lincoln because he is the one who made this quote known to the world (for those who might not have read the Bible (plus not everyone is Christian). Sometimes people need others to bring this into the forefront and make a strong point about them.