How to Stop Being Shy (Communicate with Confidence)
In today’s video, I’m going to teach you my 4 tips on how you can reduce your level of shyness when talking to people, including co-workers, your boss or anyone you meet! Shyness is a completely natural reaction and you shouldn’t beat yourself up because you tend to be shy in front of others, but today, I really want you to understand where shyness REALLY comes from…and teach you my 4 tips on how to overcome it. If you've been asking "how do I get rid of my shyness", "how to be less shy", then this video is for you!
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• How to Stop Being Shy ...
Are you someone who identifies with being "shy"? 🤭Do you feel nervous when talking to others, telling yourself that you simply just "don't know what to say...?" Share your story below and tell me how you've overcame it or if you haven't yet, what tips you will be using to do so!
Linda Raynier Thank you verry much
@Ancient Tomato Damn cuh too savage 😂
Did you get a tan?
Yes am shy and when am asked question I became nervous to answer and even during presentation
Thx so much dear Linda Wen speaking with someone and his full focus with me directly I m getting confuse and stop speaking Please help me with this
I feel too shy to speak infront of people. But when i was alone i feel confident to speck out.
Me too
wait - being alone, who will you speak out to? If you mean having an internal dialogue with yourself, then sure makes sense. Otherwise as an introverted approach it's OK to be alone - you just don't need to talk though
Same
Me too
Me too
I think being shy sometimes can be lack of confidence, or worried about what people think of you
I always feel that
Am always shy , i even find it discuss to speak
If you are not an evil person nor wish bad karma on anyone why hold back and close yourself to others? Accepting that got me past it and also realizing that the base of life are relations. We are all a product of human relationships at different levels and nothing could get accomplished without them.
michaela banks Y E S
Im a very shy person even when i walk up infront of people i think that they are talkin abt me
03:41 - Adopt a curious mindset. 04:50 - Elaborate on your responses. 05:15 - Have story to share. 06:10 - Be present and listen intently.
Underrated
Thank you
And don't focus on yourself rather focus on the other person or situation.
Thank you sir 💐.
I’m not a good story~teller.😣
I’m shy, like *EXTREMELY* shy. Talking and socializing is the last thing on my list, people say I’m nice, quiet, and gentle all the time. Here’s something to never say to some one shy “Why don’t you ever talk” “wow you actually said something” those things make me not want to talk anymore. I have all those worries all the time. When someone I’m not close to comes up to me and talks to me, I freeze, I just say “yeah”, or just nod or laugh. The thought that comes to my head is “I bet they don’t like me because I’m shy” and now I know it is because I don’t talk to them. Being shy actually sucks edit: hi! i commented this 1 year ago, and i remember that i commented this because i felt like i wasn’t doing enough with my social skills. i wasn’t good at making friends, talking and standing up myself. i still am struggling with all of those things, but i still found a way to except myself with it and even thought it sucks and i hate myself for it, know it’ll get better:)
Same wtf someone said why don’t I talk I said I didn’t know no one on that class wtf how I was knew on that class
I feel you I already experienced it and it made me feel so down. But I realize that we just need to love ourselves and be confident. Now I changed, not that much but I could say I'm better now than before. It's all in our mindset, still sometimes I think of why I have this kind of personality or feeling when I'm in front of people
I really hate it when they're questioning me why i dont talk!
@@aeiou9423 right!
Yes its really true! I remember years ago when I had family gathering, my aunt deliberately asked if I was mute just because I didnt say anything. I was like wtf and it makes me feel more shy to speak. Until now it is still difficult for me to speak and most of it because I dont know what to say. My mind is busy thinking about what others think about me. This sucks and I really wanted to change but I just find it so difficult😭 well.. thats why I end up watching this video. Hopefully it will helps😢
I don't speak to others because I feel like they'll quickly start judging me. And this starts a chain reaction in my mind and there comes negativity and awkwardness.
Same!!
sameeee
I am same as you before
same..haha
Sounds like social anxiety. Try meditating or taking deep breaths
I am shy but I am talkative. You know that feeling?
I know what you mean 😂😂😂
I am 2
Hahahaha same here 😂😂😂😂
same here
same
I've been shy literally all my life. When I turned 13 I started forcing myself into social events without thinking twice, giving my name to literally everything that I have to socialize with other people. I even volunteered to work in a booth at school (It was like a celebration for something) and that forced me to talk to strangers and that decently made me more comfortable with speaking with other people. I started becoming less shy and I talk almost everyone without being shy. I'm 15 now and I still l lack confidence. I can speak with people but I look uncomfortable and get anxious sometimes. It gets awkward. I hope I'll become more confident with myself.
Kudos to you for putting yourself out there, and bettering yourself. 👍
It is a life long process. Continual progress throughout the years is important, if you learn "everything" but just forget it later then it was a waste of time. Maintain skills and progress.
that's so inspiring!! i'm 17 and starting my journey now, i really feel like i'm going to become at least a little less shy. i'm working on self love and self expression too. we can do this :)
You’re on the right path. Half way there actually. Next step is to attain competence, that just takes time. I became a lot less shy when I felt like i could give informed information on something. Best of luck bud.
Don’t worry your like me I’m 16 and get really really shy to the fact that I get red but honestly this is a teen stage my mom even went through it and now she’s such a confident bubbly mom haha
Wow. This is so true. I used to be shy. Like my whole life...like for 30+ years. When I realized that I was shy because I was self focused, I just started interacting more with people based on the premise that everyone likes me and I started talking to people from a space of being interested in them and genuinely curious about them and no longer worrying about how I appear to them. After years of practice, I’m wayyyy less shy! Now, I’m just my natural normal weird self. 😂😉
That's Great News! Way to Go!
Wow I’ve been shy for the longest and I’ve been trying to work on it .
Lovely
Thanks for sharing ❤
Finally, people in the comments down below who understand me. Can we all just make a club and become friends?
Yes
yess plss
Yes
yes let's do it
Yesss
I agree too much self-consciousness can really affect our way of dealing with others.
soon md indeed,I went through it and it's definitely not a good feeling
soon md true and I don’t want to be like this 😭
am going to try first 2 steps hope they wl work ..i wl be applyng t from today to monday mayb by den i wl b hving a gud habit.aas thy say "it tkes 7 consecutive day to build a character...
Yeah and that's my problem. Im always after what people are thinking of me, if they want me or not and it's disgusting
Tip #5: *Accept Yourself*
My shyness started when I was 8 Bc when I was gonna preset in front of class I stuttered and everyone started laughing at me I almost cried in tears, and I continued my presentation. When I came home my thoughts keep saying that I should stop talking , but I'm very talkative to my close friends and family I'm trying my best to get rid my shyness 🤗. Take care y'all ♥
The same exact thing happened to me! I was probably about 10yrs old... I too, am very talkative 😊 Have a great day!
My shyness started when i was 9
Usually, there's a person in the comment section summarizing the video and getting tons of likes. let's see if that works!! a brief summary of the video; 4 tips to stop being shy: 1. Adopt a curious mindset (shift your attention from yourself to your partner) 2. Elaborate on your responses to your partner (explain more; not just one word) 3. Have a story to share (especially a hilarious one would do the trick) 4. Be present and listen intently (Listen to what your partner is saying and stop being out of the picture) Hope you guys enjoy! :D
Liked!💚
ATLEAST IT'S BEEN A DOSEN OF LIKES :)
@@KM-sf6zy haha ... Yeah better than nothing😂
Not all heroes wear capes lmao thanks dude 😂
Thank you 🙏🏾.
Some of us are anxious in social situations simply because we are naturally born that way. We are not necessarily focused on ourselves.
chuck, you get it. never here doctors say this.
It's totally true! I'm agree with you 😮
Chuck Geer some of us have ptsd. Easy for her to say. I start shaking even when I am trying so hard to listen
Nobody is actually born with social anxiety... We just weren't thought enough to not be anxious when it comes to being in a social setting. We can actually learn and/or get used to it. It's going to be hard for some but it's not impossible tho. With help losing the fear is possible.
@@madilynandujar7155 I was. I suffer from AvPD and inherited from my father.
I think shyness is a habit, so we have to break it by practicing. 🙂
In my experience there's 2 phases to overcoming shyness. The first is the obvious one, putting yourself in more social situations (which makes you more comfortable/confident in them). But for some people, we'll start to put on a persona and become too agreeable even when we don't want to be, and hold back our true thoughts or opinions. The 2nd phase is forcing yourself to just speak what's on your mind. That second phase is important for true freedom, and speaking authentically what you truly want to.
You’ll grow out of it they said...
Yup. I feel like ive grown into it instead, and it’s like my thing now 😂
I hate it I hate it I hate it so much no matter how much I try
They were wrong......
I didnt even grow.
Avelyse Odle relatable
I was too confident when I was little . Because I wasn't insecure I wasn't pretty back then coz I didn't knew what's the beauty standards are So I never payed attention to that but my confidence level went down coz as I grew older I got acne and facial hair which were terrible it dragged my confidence down . As I grew older I started to groom myself and now I look at myself in the mirror and I feel beautiful I tell myself I'm beautiful it really helps 😊❤️ . I am still alittle shy . But I know its okay and I will again become that confident girl I once was .
Hello
Same here 😭💔
Me too ! I was super bold now I need to let go of my insecure parts of me and my nervousness
You looks good tho
Being shy is really effecting my everyday life, I blush so much when talking to people
OMG SAME!
This short video changed my life!!!! This not only prevents me from being shy but the method of “not thinking about yourself” works in lots of situations!
i am quiet person i dont usually a social person i only speak when needed. thanks for help
Me too
Same
Same
Me too
so Introvert
Thanks for the advice Linda R. I'll try to always listen attentively when in a conversation and also be able to stop focusing on myself
Lower self confidence and over self consciousness really comes in the way of communicating with other people. Shifting the focus from yourself to others is a really good tip.
I used to be shy and i think it’s just that I’m focusing on myself, I think I’m clumsy and it always breaks when I want to express myself. I'm often afraid of being off topic
I feel like i have nothing to add to any conversation bc im a super homebody!
Nicki B omg yes! I have no stories to tell😭
Same,i dont know what to say😔
Yes
I suggest telling them interesting stories when you were qt home or when you were little and be curious about his/hers also. As an example.. i talked to a stranger classmate in highschool qbout my gradeschool where we(elem buds) had a group project and i brought earthworms to class , thinking those were part of the project.. i then asked him of his embarrassing momments at the same time reasurring he is not feeling akward and such... then before i knew, we became lost in our own little convo..
I also suggest talking about your qnd their hobbies, likes or dislikes , fav movie, embarrassing experiences,what their doing now, what ..etc 2tip:Be determined enough to overcome your anxiety.. convince yourself (Also give a little prayer in your mind that you may communicate well with others qnd overcome your social anxiety) Cause these are what helped me overcome my social anxiety..heh i still have some left right now.. but not as much as before :>
I am also a shy person and I agree with all the things that you discussed and its very helpful for me
1)Adopt a curious mindset 2)Elaborate on your responses 3) Have a story to share 4) Be present and listen intently
I'm one of those who had been shy when I'm in front of people, trying so hard to embrace my flaws and mistake and do learn from it. This is such a good tips, Well appreciated!💙
Hy!
Thank you 💕
same
Great tips! I’m always a shy person and still is somewhat. But now I totally understand where the shyness is coming from. It’s so true, I’m way to focus on myself image, too focused on what others will think/judge me. I will definitely remember to keep a curious mind. Thanks!
I'm severely shy and my eye contact is horrid. I ramble and laugh at weird times due to nervousness
binky Faith looks the person in the middle of there eyes that usually helps
....same
Saaaame
Lol u funny
This may sound funny but it helps to practice and imagine yourself having a conversation with your reflection in front of a mirror. Maintain eye contact as long as possible and get comfortable with it until it becomes natural to speak to someone that way.
I can talk to my friend and be myself (I’m very weird) and I never can be myself around anyone else. I tip I like to remember is that: People always feel like their being judged by what they say or wear but the truth is that the people you think are judging you are really thinking that everyone is judging them.
Most people are shy because they are scared of what people will think of them. If someone asks you "why dont you talk" or "wow you talked" will make someone lose confidence. And sometimes what will help is that if you treat a shy person like a person who is not shy they will feel normal and start talking more.
I can introduce you to a great universe temple keeper who can help you
I totally agree if you shift focus from yourself to others it really helps! Great video
It is so interesting I love it
I agree that shyness is a learned behavior and it doesn't help when others point it out because you tend to take on the qualities of shyness. I'm glad there are self help videos out there!
After almost 2 years I eventually found you to say THANK YOU. It was the first random video I saw😊 that had sort of trigger for me..... Your video was the start of my transformation process.
How have you dealt with this condition?
@@sbodlamini7476 all our answers are inside us ...
I'm not sure abt that......I've tried everything but the panic and anxiety persists......
@@sbodlamini7476 a ok. When a person says I can or I cannot , in both cases she /he is right .....
These are really useful tips on how to stop being shy and becoming really confident. A lot of people do not realize that shyness can be dealt with. First, it has to be an intentional decision, then an acknowledgement and willingness to move out of your comfort zone. I find this relevant because I have been through a similar journey of moving from reserved to bold and confident and thankfully, I am more than willing to often share the useful tips that made me confident and vocal enough to engage on various platforms.
This is brilliant.. You are so helpful. I use to feel lick I was trapped when in a meeting with my boss and other co-workers cause u are right I was focused on how I feel not about the topic at hand.thanks Linda I'll do what u said in this video thankyou.
I've been shy a good portion of my life. I see pictures of myself as a child and my body language alone tells me I was always like that and it was practiced. Hiding behind my parents. Always fading in the background and I got too comfortable with that. I've been fighting hard to overcome it. I have to be the adult I needed as a child 🚸 to break free from this mindset. I am working to communicate clearly to become a strong leader. Get my points across to accomplish bigger things.
I feel like I can be really shy to speak and have a conversation with someone one day, and the next day I have more confident, and I can speak to everybody, Thats so hard to live with because I Don’t know if I’m going to get shy or not. And when I mean shy like one second I get so red and warm, it looks like I have workout haha.
Thats nice lesson,through this I overcomed such a circumstances,thank you for your time Miss Linda
Hi, please consider making a podcast. I would love to listen to you during my morning commute to work.
You can download this video and convert it to mp3
Pretty you🤙
im one of these people so shy, by the used of vlogging im starting to overcome it. not focusing on my self but by other people. not to be afraid of being judge and what people might say instead im starting to embrace my flaws.
This was a problem for so long, especially on camera. Thanks so much for sharing your tips with us. 🖤
Thank u very much Linda,i've discoverd how to stop being shy
Hi Linda! You really have that CHARISMA thing, which helps us to enjoy your advice and tips without getting bored or irritated to the speaker. Thank you, your videos are helpful!
I tried hard to speak to a guy in my working place and then feeling nervous. The upper week we met at work again on the same spot but I step out to dodge myself thinking he will be talking to the other guy Indoors. Do you know he came out and joined me outside but this time we spoke very good for hours and I feel more confident and comfortable with him. Next time I hope it will be more better Smiles 😊😊
I’ve been diagnosed with asperger syndrome in middle school, so I just accepted my being shy like a part of me, I just avoid every social events and limit myself to do long lonely walks
you were very helpful and what you said was unbelievably true
Thank you. You’re really a big help to us. Im so shy , i get nervous when i speak to someone im not close with.
Yeaaaa, the less you think about yourself the more helpful you become to others. Loved this very good and useful ❤️🙏🏾
I have no idea how else to get rid of shyness but for me it’s having a career that gives you real joy and propels you forward in life, when you’re moving forward in life and having fun at the same time it creates a confidence like no other.
True! There is also something called "power posing"!
I really like the way you speak and talk, its my goal to speak the way you do. Another thing I like is that your extremely confident but not egotistical and threatening. Its the perfect amount of confidence while being very kind and open. When im confident sometimes i come has rude, which I want to correct.
I love this! It really fits in my current situation. I moved here in the US and I just got my dream job, but the problem is that I am way too shy, to the point where it’s giving me a hard to connect with people. I agree with what you mentioned in the video, that I tend to focus too much on myself, being way too much worried on what others will think about me and the result is that I am actually putting myself in an awkward situation. I need to “delete” this shyness in me. I have to move forward and be curious! Glad that I have found this video! 😊 really helpful!
status?
As student, i have a lot of opinions to share with teacher and friends, however i am not confident. After watching this tips, i am more confident to talk and share my opinions to others . thank you for the tips .
OMG What she's saying is so true 😟😟 I'm always talking to myself rather than talking out.
I understand you and I kinda managed to deal with the fear, I even recorded a video about it on my channel if you are interested in it. And have you ever tried to hide when some guest were at your home?
Thanks for sharing Linda
So true, when you shift your focus to learning morning more about them - shyness disappears.
This was absolutely fantastic. I have had my first week at my internship and my thoughts have mainly been about me not being good enough to be there and I see that these thoughts have made me very shy in the work place. Thank you for such a great video!
Thank you ! It helps me alot. I also started practicing speaking in front of a mirror. It helped me because, I do not stop awkwardly and i can make a phrase. The bathroom mirror is ok because, i can see my body language and i can keep eye contact. I practice daily and i do it for a small time, as much as i can, i do not push myself. I had a small talk with a person and it wasn't awkward.
Thank you for helping me to connect my walls with your tricky bridges!
I really like this vid, I felt it can be my key to the success life.. Thank you Linda sooo muchhh
i want to be a teacher and i am raised by a toxic/ abusive parents. i rarely talk in our house so i got used to it, now when i go outside and communicate with some people, it became really awkward and i always got shy because i always think what people will think of my opinion. watching one of these videos really helps me. :)
Many people are shy because of lack of confidence and social anxiety (AKA scared of being judged and negative feedback).
This is exactly happen to me! Thank you for your tips, it's help me to be confident
Hi I am a nursing student who experiences tough times when ever am been asked to do a presentation in the mist of my mates, buh I think u helped me a lot Keep it up
Caesar Asaah same here 💕
Yes I love this! Often the most extroverted people are super shy on the inside! Great video 🙏
When I was a kid all teachers were happy that I never talk or play in class, and they would said that I was a saint and good kid. And I start believe that if I want to be a good kid I don't have to talk, only the necessary. And now, with 16 ( in 6 days 17) it's so complicated to be or to do something else. But now, no one thinks that a kid that doesn't talk is good. I feel uncomfortable at any place that's not my house. I have lost many friendship and the opportunity to make more because of this. But I going to start to change this!!
Thanks for this. You adressed my problems perfectly. Love your solutions very true and practical. I've noticed them in my extroverted friends!
I'm still afraid to seem weird. I still think people aren't interested in what i say, that's why i put myself aside, and stand me away from people. Sometimes i can't stop being shy. It's a kind of shield.
I feel you
Have just started watching this and I really love your energy Linda. You have such an honest, open bubbly loveable laugh : ) I'm looking forward to losing my shyness.
I feel sooo shy honestly 😌 But I always feel free and comfortable when I'm alone
I am from South Korea and this is exactly what I have been looking for
JH S mee too
Thank u!! Very helpful!
Excellent video! Shy person here and everything you said is absolutely true!! Very helpful tips that I'll start implementing immediately! Thank you!
I think what you've said is basically right and true, Raised by a humble and quiet family will turn you into shy and lack of confidence to communicate with others, but if you want to be good like others you need to break that wall, a humble and shy into confident person.
Hi, Linda! I love your video so much and have already sent you a form. Really Hope we can work together to something bigger!
Thank you for sharing these good points! Somehow I know what is wrong but I could not summary these just like you did.
Am shy because i was born into a culture where women are expected to be humble.. am glad i was able to hear this..
*_Thank you Linda. Super inspired by your words and knowledge!_*
Thank you Miss Raynier
I love your voice Linda and the way you deliver it.
You are absolutely wright because it happens with me all the time. When I talks to others .
When I redo my conversations in my head, I seem to be very sociable and so cool 😂
I guessed this is me.Thank you for this amazing video..
Though “Humble” is different than shy - just a note
My problem of being shy is I am worried what other would think about me to much now that I have to focus on others while talking I am going to apply it in my daily life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and God bless
YES! I've been way too lost in my own thoughts in my head to be able to connect or speak with others.
Great video! It’s true as shy people we need to put boundaries on our self awareness and spend more time focusing on the other person. Redirecting this focus is challenging but doable. I’ve been working on my communication skills for a while now and have used and agree with all of the tips mentioned. I love how you explained this topic. Thank you!
Thank you! Big help foe me as a fresh graduate :) btw i like your nail color ;) ♡
Idk why but this made me emotional.. Bc I always think of people judging and they even tell me that I don’t have a voice..
i have watched you videos and look forward to hearing the new ones you put out since these are valuable information that you share with us ! Thanks so much Linda for these videos!
i completely agree with you i think this can help me thx for the advice much love bye!!!!
Linda thanks for helping me, YOU amd YOUR WAYS of speaking is beautiful
What you are saying is totally right, im that kind person shy to speak to people because im thinking of myself too much whenever i talk with new friends. This video help me alot. Thank you.
This is one of my problem for almost 10 years till now. I hope this video help me to overcome my shyness and nervousity in communating other people. Anyways thank you so much for the steps. God bless you😇
Thanks, I really needed that I have very hard to make new friends and I always mess up so I really needed that
Nice video, nice voice , well said😍😍
I was taught to stop bringing so much attention to myself. So i went inwards. Especially, when it came to interacting with men. It started to enter in my singing but i had to fight against it. I told myself that i am telling a story. But i still struggle.with shyness in personal relationship's.
When I was a beginner I had strong desire of speaking English. Day in day out, I was highly anxious of speaking English in public places like coaching institute, friends circle and school where I was studying , but ,unfortunately , it was a fancy of mine only. All the time I wished to say something,i found myself shaky and shattering. I was quite nervous and full of perspiration whenever it was my due to speak. After much public rejection, one day I discovered an idea that changed my life. The other day, I stood before a big glass and started talking to myself for long hours. This technique helped a lot to gain confidence.