How To Make A Rude Person Look Insecure For Insulting You
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Today we’ll go over how to handle it when someone insults you.
We’ll start with a couple classic “destroy” comebacks. These are great at winning over an audience and embarrassing the person who insulted you. Be warned though, they may make the target of your comeback hate you.
Then we’ll cover some friendlier, more charismatic responses so that you come away looking cool and confident without making enemies.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:17 - #1: The high status reframe
1:40 - #2: Accept the insult and use it against them
2:54 - #3: Insult the insult
3:27 - #4: Draw a boundary
4:31 - #5: The "tit for tat" or "eye for an eye" method
6:25 - #6: Show that you're unaffected
8:18 - How do I build deep, unshakable confidence?
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I’m very tall for a woman. I’m 6ft without shoes. I can’t make myself shorter, so I have no problem with looking taller. I walked into a club one night and this little guy said “wooo….are you a man?” And I looked him up and down, and said “no sweetheart. Are you?” And I walked away. His friends laughed at him, and I won. 😂
Love it 😂
Umm I'm 5'9 my twin is the same height as you..but it's five ft 12 inches.. ladies can't be 6 feet
Shoes are awesome.. you should get some 👍
Beautiful!
I'm 6' in my barefooted and I have had the same boring insults. You're comeback us my go-to. Another one is "more man than you, obviously"
You will always regret losing your temper but you will never regret staying calm and appearing like it does nothing to you.
That's your opinion. Anger is a perfectly valid emotion. Venting does not have to be negative; whereas, pent up frustration may cause adverse reactions if not dealt with properly.
@@rpruneau68 There's appropriate and inappropriate venting, but I can't think of a single time when losing one's temper is appropriate. In addition, not everything has to be verbalized to another person in an effort to validate one's thoughts and feelings. Many things that cause anger can be effectively dealt with within the privacy of our own hearts and minds.
@@rpruneau68 I mean losing in front of people and showing you have lost emotional control.
A lifetime of this proves that your statement is wrong 😂. The words of all the things you could have said will haunt you until you repay your karma of not speaking up.
@@GoddessBlessYou Take time to watch pack animal videos, like how dogs relate to one another and keep the peace in a balanced pack. Why? Because nature helps teach us how to be balanced individuals. We can remain calm against aggression but there comes a point where aggression is only stopped by the fury of the person being bullied. That is, putting enough force and intent behind your action to tell the person that you’ve had enough and won’t put up with more abuse. There are plenty of calm, kind and appropriate venting people out there (myself included) who will share to you how some people don’t get the hint. In fact, calmness only aggravates bullies more. Adequate defense means being a healthy leader for yourself and expressing enough is enough with a response just appropriate enough to the level of the harm.
Don't take hurtful criticism or insults seriously when they come from a person whom you wouldn't go to for important advice.
Thank you for this. I'm going to keep it in mind.
I have had to remind a few rude people that strangers are not allowed inside my skin, so please stop digging.
Absolutely! Consider the source. I worked with a group of mean girls, actually insecure grown women. They wanted to reject me so bad but they never got the chance, I genuinely had no interest in being accepted into their clique. It caused hostility and snarky comments toward me but it matter. I simply didn't care and it drove them nuts that I didn't beg for, and not receive, their validation.
Kevin has the comedy of a dutch woman
@@guysumpthin2974 Don't insult Dutch women, grrrrrrrrrrrr
I told my kids to tell me some of the insults they've gotten while in school and they would come home to tell me. Then I would give them some good comeback lines for friends or even bullies in school. They would come home the next day and say "Mom, I made the classroom/lunchroom fallout laughing with that line"... It really boosted their confidence and cut down on any insults, backhanded compliments or bullying they encountered.
Nice one Sharon 👍
Good mom ❤️
Examples, pls!
What I need to do with mine. Starting middle school has been rough. We practiced but it’s the comebacks that happen afterward that he’s not prepared for.
Awesome mom!
I've built my sense of humor as a defence growing up as a fat kid. Really made me appreciate the power of spoken language as it destroyed every attempted bully and won respect. Probably helped me develop an unhealthy obsession with wording and over analysis, too.
Bullies aren't known for their quick wits so if you can put them down in such a way that they laugh or will look idiotic it's a good defence
You might be good at comedy writing then. Ever tried that?
The power of correct wording is astronomical. If done right you can take a conversation and turn it, not only in your favor but make others believe it was their idea for you to do so. How you speak and what you say when you speak matters more than most people realize.
Fellow fat kid here. Exactly the same. 👍👍
Are you living my life?
A woman called me misogynistic once, I replied "How narcissistic of you to assume I hate women as if you represent all of them".
Litrally any comeback works against this. People who speaks in the manner of : all men are same, all women are same, ALL this, that. Like the person speaking knows meaning and what ALL represent living/died and to be born. I have in my life never assumed and made judgement on this "ALL" factor about anything. People are now understanding that no matter who you are you can never know about ALL to even make an opinion.
@@words007 It's crazy how you thought she meant all men are misognynist by calling one guy misogynist.
Who said you need to "hate women" to be misogynistic?
@@Phil9874 Get outta here. Go find a safe space, would you kindly.
@@Phil9874 Misogynist: "a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women" took me 5 seconds to google it.
My best one was after putting on 10 pounds. A guy with a beer belly said "damn your getting fat". I just smiled, poked his gut and said "just trying to catch up". Smile dropped off his face as I walked away with a smile.
genius love it
😂😂😅 that was dope
🤜🏼🫱🏼🎤 *mic drop* 👏🏼😂
;D)))))) perrrrrrrfect
my brother has a beer belly. a co worker asked him hey bro are you pregnant? and my brother replied yes, wanna touch it, while grabbing his private. that co worker never looked his way again.
#6 “Show that you’re unaffected.” Unknowingly, I used this technique throughout my thirty-one career as a cop. I can’t tell you how many thousands of times someone insulted me as a prelude to their question. Ignoring the insult and answering the question as if it’s sincere almost universally diffused my “adversary’s” verbal attacks. This is great material, I wish I had the influence to make these videos mandatory viewing in our Police Academy. Cheers from Boston
God bless the boys in blue!
defused
Now I'm imagining that wonderful Boston accent.
Thank you, Doug, for your service as a Police Officer
So basically: "Do anything that isn't getting angry, offended or throwing a tantrum." A lot of people today could learn from this video.
True
Yeah don’t show an emotion or reaction to it
maybe watch the video again (it's the second takeaway)
@@luibond9418 in other words, don’t do the most normal thing.
damn i know at least 27 people who would get offended by this comment
Simply ask the person who is attempting to diminish you "what would motivate you to say that"? This lets everyone know that you don't accept their insult as being valid, and puts them in the spotlight, and under intense social pressure, to justify their rudeness.
I've actually done this! Although I said "why would you say that?" instead. She went into a deer in headlights freeze and turned red and I pulled the attention back to me with a subject change. She apologized later that night.
some form of "your stupidity" would be my answer
It also points out the poor judgment used when making a decision to deliberately hurt/upset someone.
I used the almost same tactic. Someone try to insult me, actually a few of them, and I ask, " Give me a good reason to insult me?" and then there is a moment of silence and then we continue our work.
Nah bro 😂
I once had the best comeback to an insult that I still laugh about today. At work I was singing away when someone told me to stop singing and that people like me who can’t sing shouldn’t sing in public. So I said “oh okay, so do you also believe if people aren’t attractive they shouldn’t go outside?”. Would you believe he said yes!!! So of course I said “so what are you doing here?”. As you can imagine the whole office erupted in laughter whilst this guy struggled to regain his posture.
Werent u supposed to be inside an office while saying that tho. It would make sense if u were already outside
At least you were not whistling. Whistling is mindless infuriating noise pollution. There should be a law allowing people to punch whistlers in the face as hard as possible with any kind of retaliation by the whistler scum an immediate 100 year prison sentence. END EXTROVERT PRIVILEGE
@@jahanzebkamal5438Sometimes "going outside" just means leaving one's house.
@@jahanzebkamal5438 It means you shouldn’t be seen in public at all, which makes his super-good burn stand. 😆
Those "victories" sound nice. But it's much better to have a come back that doesn't humiliate people, while still setting them straight. This is what creates respect. Your comeback creates a life long enemy.
Worked as a prison guard. An offender that was always sarcastic and lippy approached me in front of a crowd of them. Him-“ya know, when I get out I’m gonna move right next door to you.” Me- “You can’t.” Him- “why?” Me- “I live too close to a school.” *I walk away* The whole tier blew up.
r/thattotallyhappened cool story bob
Thanks, that's a great angle to exploit, funny.
@@dr.dolzur223 Who cares, it was a great story!
It would be really funny if he rammed a shank into your vitals after that
@@TomSteele93 Who cares.
One of my favorites is when I tell a joke and someone is trying to be condescending and says "Yeah, I don't get it" as though it wasn't even worthy of the title 'jokes'. I replied "I'll tell you when you're older" and even he genuinely laughed at that.
Why would they try to be a Greek paratrooper?
Lol true. Sometimes I genuinely don't get it though, I'm a bit naive but friends know that about me. I'm the one who starts giggling ten minutes later when the penny finally drops. That makes them laugh too 😆
@@vanessamccarthy7807 Sounds like you all had a good laugh!
@@vanessamccarthy7807 As the saying goes. He who laughs last.. Thinks the slowest.
why is saying I don't get it condescending. would u prefer they fake laugh and pretend to get it
I love a good comeback, even when it’s directed at me. I (jokingly) told a coworker once “That file should work. Although I reserve the right to change my mind later-I am a woman after all.” His snappy comeback was perfect: “That’s fine. And I reserve right not to listen-I am a man after all.” 🤣 Touché sir!
Damn!
Quit banging you co workers with man at home
You like him, you're coworker may soon be workin on you..
@@TheRds797 😂 I never met the guy IRL. He worked out of an office in a different part of the state, we only ever communicated over Slack. Plus he was often late and even made me miss my deadline on the last night at that job. (I haven’t worked there for two years now.) Nice enough dude, but I was _kinda_ cursing his name as I clocked out for the last time…
@@TheRds797 long hours on the office desk?
In the Fire Department Academy my nemesis was a stereotypical pugnacious Italian dude. He busted on me constantly... One day he found out we home schooled our children... Trying to embarrass me in front of the other firemen, he says: "Mr. Farnsworth, I would NEVER homeschool my children!" "That's probably a wise choice, Johnny..." 😉😁👌🎯
And there weren’t enough trainees to help put out that burn
@@person8834 🤣😂👌 You're keeping the Spirit alive, aren't you? Humans are fun. Thanks...😄
I wish I'd been home schooled. I was never a good student. Too distracted.
👩🚒🔥🔥👩🚒🔥🔥🔥🔥👩🚒
@@person8834 good one
as a child I dealt with rude kids insulting me (they thought I was weird and quiet) just by laughing whenever they tried to insult me. it made them so angry and confused, it was great! the best way to respond is to stay calm, no matter what strategy you use
That would seem more of my style.
My grandfather used to repeat often: "Never forget your sense of humor, buddy!" Laughter will take you a lot farther in life than constantly *being offended*.
I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't be above laughing at yourself. Otherwise, the rest of the world will do it for you.
If you cannot laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
@@SaviorGabriel Ouch, the last two presidents.
Love this
@@sunjester8254 you are correct: "In the best usage, farther refers to physical distances, further to figurative distance." Although in common usage, the two are often interchangeable. Today I learned...
You know how a joke is ruined if you have to explain the punchline? That's what I've done in the past with someone who's trying to insult me. I'll say "I'm sorry I was just in my head. What was that, please?" And act really interested- full- attention. If they double-down & repeat it, I'll say something like, "What do you mean?" Still, full eye-contact, slight polite smile. It doesn't happen often, but it's very useful. I only had one person, one time lol go to the trouble of Explaining their insult to me. To that, I kept eye-contact for a few seconds, looked away like I was contemplating it, & then came back with "Well, that was hurtful. Did you Mean to be hurtful? Is everything okay? Would you like to talk about something?" --"NO!" ~"Because I'm Here for you if you need to talk something out. You Sure?" { D
Brilliant! Well said. A comeback I've come up with is to calmly say, "I seriously hope you get everything you deserve." No one can argue it. Even if they know they're being insulted because they've been a jerk.
Wow, that must have been a lonely experience; My apologies, I'll leave you to your friends. There are plenty of ways to respond to that position. There isn't any single comeback that can't be countered regardless of how witty we think we are. Many of them can be rehearsed and recycled but eventually will meet its demise...
I love this one.
"But how did you learn all this?" "I follow Josh Otusonya. Mwaha!"
Beautiful man... just beautiful... My mum did something similar to that to some snarky bitchy woman after she'd insulted her in private and she burst into tears! Clearly she did want to talk about something!!!
Don't react to toxic people. Not giving them a reaction when they desperately seek it, is far more powerful.
Exactly it gives someone the moral high ground .
Then they do it even worse.
@@Kelle0284...making everyone around them like them less.
If they mutter some snarky remark on zoom - command them "Please speak into the mic." - but if you decide to react after all for fun / roast-back dopamine release: "How are YOU mad? You're the one doing the insulting - heheahHAHAHAAHAHAA" Real exaggerated leaning back in the chair open mouth laughter. "That made my day."
I'm one of those people who thinks of a snappy reply three weeks later, so I developed _The Look_ when people say something insulting. It never fails.
My mother had a look that kept us in line. I have the high arched eyebrows that say 'seriously?' As I look them dead in the eyes.
I was at work talking to one of my coworkers. He makes a crack about the shape of my head. He said you should stack some books on your head so it looks like a perfect square. I replied your right, you do have an EYE for fashion. The man literally had one eye. The best part was it took him a second too. He said hey your right...wait a minute😔. I apologized for the burn and said, I'm sorry but you get me I get you, it's an eye for an eye. I showed myself out after that lol.
You legend!
Bellend.
Lol
😂😂😂
🤣🤣 I wouldn't even apologise. He totally deserved that and it wasn't worse than what he did.
Innocently ask the person insulting you to repeat what they said as if you didn’t quite hear it, look confused and ask them to explain it. Then watch them squirm with embarrassment with all the attention on them as they struggle to explain something that wasn’t funny.
I like this. Thank you for sharing this. I'm going to try to remember it and use it if necessary❤
"You heard me. What do you feel like I said??😮"
@@kinkypanda0038 If I’d heard you, I wouldn’t have asked you to repeat what you said. What was it? We’re all ears.
@TomRipley7350 "You heard me. What do you feel like I said??😮 ". Apologies for any confusion.
@TomRipley7350 😉 thank goodness you have a sense of humor. Honestly, refreshing for YT.
This video has helped me so much. Someone said “nobody asked” after something I said out of the blue and I replied “what makes you think I was talking to you?” And that shut them up
Best one I heard was a guy calmly say: "Why do feel you need to insult me? I don't insult you."
How about just shake your head and laugh and then say, “You’re definitely the type of person who would say something like that.”
Oh yeah that's a great one
Right. I let myself watch till 2:30. I thought this was gonna be how to insult someone w/ class by being unbothered. I can't even take this seriously after your mom sh. I mean, I guess it was a quick comeback & ppl will always be ppl... but it's still in poor taste. If u gotta do things at the expense of other ppl, u def care & is bothered.
I like this one
Haha yes! Love this
Or telling them that whatever they’re saying are very becoming and they should teach their kids to do the same! Lol
I like saying, “Thanks for noticing.” It works every time and shows strength.
THAT is a great one! So easy.
When you say that to people who state the obvious, it takes on a whole new connotation.
@@PhantomFilmAustralia haha, you are very smart.
@@JamesGreenier I can't help dishing out a witticism to people who state the obvious. My go to _"State-The-Obvious"_ responses are... "Surely you jest." "It seems your university degree just paid for itself." "My god! Columbo can't hold a candle to you!" "Why aren't you a millionaire?" "Whoever said that the nation's IQ is plummeting was clearly lying!" "From now on, I'm calling you Usain Bolt. Nothing gets by you!"
A variation on that I've used is when someone, especially female, says "We need to talk" and you're pretty sure that in your estimation that's less than accurate, just keep walking and say "good to know." I got it from a clip of 2 and a half Men and while the show was pretty hit or miss for me, I've used that a couple times and omg.
I had a woman tell me I was a worthless piece of crap. I said "thank you, glad to hear you think I am improving". while laughing and smiling. She was dumbfounded and rendered speechless. Everyone laughed and I never saw her again for the rest of the night as I was too busy talking to her friends. One of which I went home with.
I'm learning as much by reading the comments as I did by watching the video.
Yea me too
same here
yes, they are priceless
Yes, yes, yes, me too...loving the comments. So much education!
I feel that way about most You Tube videos.
I admire people who makes a comeback with an expressionless, straight face. The late Leslie Nielsen is one of them.
Damn Leslie Nielsen is late? How can that be he was a comic genius we deserve more time.
@@darrylbatchem8985 Bruh it's been like... ten years :/
@@EnjoyCocaColaLight Still processing.
Funny in airplane
I have modelled my humour on that deadpan delivery. It can work a treat.
I've never gotten to use it but one idea when insulted in a serious, not joking way is to act like you don't hear them, lean in and stare at their teeth, point to your tooth and say, "you have something stuck..."
My variation of this (I have used a couple of times) is : how about a breath mint? It can really take the wind out of their sails. I believe I saw it in a movie a while back.
I do this to my friends on a random basis anyway… the laughter is always great because it means they checked whatever the blind man was telling them was wrong 😂
When one of my children scored well on a standardized math test, her father said, “You know she got her math brains from me, right?” I replied, “She must have because I still have mine.”
That’s why my kids said to their dad the other day. We must get our intelligence from you cause mum still has hers! 😂
@@jinde75 perfect!
LOL
When someone insults you say "I don't get it" then smile and walk away, if you can't walk away keep smiling only at that person. Or, "How original! I'm going to remember that the next time I want to tear someone down to make myself look good. Thanks mate".
I once replied with something like "Oh, wow, that was very funny. You are a very funny guy." to some insult, and actually laughed becuase it reminded me of the scene from Goodfellas. The one insulting me started becoming upset and then it make me laugh even more when he asked something of the sort "You think I am funny?"
Important follow up: Was he, in fact, a clown?
Funny how?
@@EnjoyCocaColaLight Some angry jelous dude. In a sense, he was a clow. He assumed that other people can't do something becuase he can't so it. You know, these people who want to drag everyone down to their level.
@@goodmorningsundaymorning4533 funny like I'm a clown?
@@Acord718 do i amuse you?
Insults in essence, are emotional attacks. The best thing you can do is disassociate from the person, yourself and the situation for a brief moment, lock your emotions in a safe place and handle the insult as if it's a theater play and you're doing a scene.
rational detachment
I just ignore them. Act like they said absolutely nothing. Then I will continue to ignore them. Indefinitely.
no insults are intellectual attacks, like a move in chess. It takes great skill to insult effectively.
😂😂😂 this is meant to be a joke right? God I hope so
@@scambammer6102 I said "in essence". Yes, they are intellectual attacks and you need intelligence to pull it off but in essence and in its core, it's an emotional attack that has no rationale behind it
As an Australian it’s second nature to laugh at insults thrown your way and not be offended, it’s like a sport to us
I'm not sure if you are right. Aussies are getting offended by anything nowadays.
Is that because, unlike young Americans, you don't need a safe space, after all every place is safe with you, lol
When I was 15 I was playing in a soccer game and my opponent kept making remarks about my hairy arms. I ignored it and smiled back for a while and he just kept at it. So he said it again, I laughed and said "Yeah, I can see that! And I've gotten past you every time in this game." He didn't say anything for the rest of the game 🤣 At the end of the game, we had won 4-0 and I came up to him to shake his hand and I said "Man, if only your team was as good on the field as you are at talking so much". I left the guy deflated.
How was that even an insult? Having hairy arms just makes you more manly than him.
It was probably his job to hassle you as a team strategy..
If only he had paid more attention to the game instead of checking ur arms out...
@@MegaThunderfist that's what I thought. ha
I wish this existed 32 years ago. I could’ve used it against my bullies.
Just use a delayed comeback. Call them up and be like, "you remember when we were 9 and you said I was fat?"
@@everennui1 haha good idea!
Yah I just beat them up till they stopped bullying me. I feel kinda bad now but I didn't get bullied in highschool after I did a non-lethal Kenshiro attack on them in middle school.
And then they would beat you up some more
32 years later your still thinking about it? Move on!
This entire comment section is priceless!! in college my male house-mate and I were leaving the house and he left the door open. I asked him if he lived in a barn. He said "yes, and I just let out the cow". I laughed snot out of my nose..
Oh… that was good 😂
For years my niece used to constantly make fun of my thinning hair line to a point that it became tiring. One day at a family gathering she decided to try it again to show how "cool" she is. So she asks (from across the table) "Hey uncle George, so when are you getting your hair implants ?" My immediate response was "Whenever you decide to get the breast implants you desperately need". She has never mentioned my hair since.
Yeah commenting on your nieces breasts isn’t the come back you think it is you just look like a creep 😂
DAMN!!
Hahaaaa!
Creepy thing to say as her uncle tbh
@@SilverGreenEyes18 must be flat chested huh
The problem with savage comebacks is that you can't undo them when it turns out you *really* shouldn't have said that.. Regret is a bitter teacher that extracts a harsh tuition. Learn to be a little gentler in life. It will get you further .. or at least it leaves you happier
I’ve regretted my rare cutting/witty comebacks more than I’ve regretted the times I was tongue tied. I realized fairly young that I have a sixth sense for perceiving people’s hidden sore spots, and how dangerous that insight can be when I’m angry. The fleeting dopamine rush quickly turns to guilt.
It leaves me smarter and both of us wiser... Me: I know my power You: You know my power
You sound like a woman. The real and true take is that you have to also read the person and the room, which most of the people in the clips are capable of. You don't want to go nuclear with someone who may not even understand that what they said was an insult, but the nuclear option must be available for the ones who've shown clear intent.
Lol, why would you regret savaging bullies? Occasional guilt or a lifetime of humiliation. What a choice
straight to doormat town
my all time favourite comeback is " i do not wish to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person"
I don’t like wishing harm on anyone so my go to is “may you meet nothing but people like yourself”. A karmic curse to jerks and a blessing to the kind.
Better make sure you're well armed then!
Too nerdy and wordy, it stinks actually
Insults are like an energy. You can reflect it, absorb it, or disperse it. It's what you say that matters especially. Be careful with your words.
From experience, I must say laughing at an insult only works when the person making the insult has no malignant intent with the insult or when there are other people around who will side wide you if things escalate. People who do have malignant intent will simply send more and more insults at you until you set a boundary.
not directly related to this video, but i have autism and systematically applying the advice from this channel has helped me become more charismatic than 95% of my peers.
One of the tips said to answer a rhetorical question as though it were serious. Having Asperger's, I don't detect rhetoric very accurately. So, more than likely, I'll take the question seriously and answer it anyway.
@@reubenmanzo2054 Well you must've roasted a couple guys without knowing.
Wow great job
The Internet is unbelievable. There's so much positive life-changing information we have available for free. That's awesome you found this video and actually did the thing. Most people find this type stuff, get momentarily inspired, then promptly ignore it and continue being their old ways and don't change for the better.
@@reubenmanzo2054 That's a gift in itself. You weren't offended by their insults.
That "can you host" line is genius. Bravo to that kid
I would have said: I guess so-they hired me!😬
That was finn aka mike from stranger things
@@amysyiem Never seen it so...
@@Chris_Cross it's a series"stranger things"
@@amysyiem I know what it is... I've just never seen it, so it's irrelevant to my original comment.
a fat and rude boy in my class asked me jokingly, “doesn’t she look like she would die of type 2 diabetes?” he was talking about this really nice girl in my class, and I fired back with, “I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if you did…” I was scared in my ability to do that💀
Successful people don't become successful that way overnight. What most people see at a glance- wealth, a great career, purpose-is the result of hard work and hustle over time. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life..
Wasp⤵️⤵️
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It may not sound witty or whatever, but when someone says something rude or seemingly offensive, I stop, look directly at him/her, and calmly say, "I'll bet you didn't mean for it to come out like that." They have only two options: Tes ("Yes, I was insulting you")or No ("Yeah, no, it came out wrong.") Either way, it's disarming and forces honesty.
this video makes me looks forward to getting insulted lol
Whoaaaaa what a smart idea, just like einstein!
LOL sameee 😂
I'm a naturally shy person and sometimes people mistake that for not having confidence in yourself. Don't ever get the 2 of those things twisted. Shy people don't always lack confidence in themselves. My sense of humour is so dark and quick that if you insult me in front of people the comeback wont be pretty, you will be laughed at and I won't be affected by your insult. This has happened so many times at work, I've been labelled as brutal and ruthless between fits of laughter from the people present.
I’m not quick witted, I’m a chill dude, so I never know what to say as a comeback…I’m not nervous, my mind just doesn’t go into a defensive mode. But it makes me look weak. I don’t know how to fix that.
Practice and memorize a couple of hard-core come-backs. When I was in school there were wise guys who'd pick on anybody, including me, who were too polite or slow for a hard and snappy reply; thus I kept these two handy: "If I want any s..t from you I'll squeeze your head." "If I want any lip from you I'll rattle my zipper." You won't make any friends with these, but then I never cared for that type of "friend".
If that is your natural responses use it to your advantage. Use the "explain yourself" tactics and mirror it back to them. Pass the ball back. It makes you seem unaffected and more confident than passive. The "what do you mean?" And "are you okay?" And "why are you trying to beat down on me, are you feeling down? What has happened?". It doesn't give them energy back from a reaction and to answer insults with empathy might make people reflect more on their actions and try to be better.
I agree with Basement Guy. Memorize a few good ones
I will share something about my life. Some people(family or friends) try to bring me down with words or actions, but I respond honestly and make it a one-time only. The problem is that if you are trying to prove something, like not showing a reaction to create some impression, it is because you depend on these people emotionally and mentally. And I say there is no need to react with anger but be fully aware of what you deserve, and if other people don't contribute to you in life, don't be afraid to lose people.
Amen!
This is a good comment.
Agree fully. Shame you can’t do the same with colleagues, short of switching careers.
Lose people!
It's very difficult to "lose people" who are married to people you love. You're stuck getting together with them every holiday, birthday, etc. It's a real bummer and no way around it, especially when almost everything they say is snarky, sarcastic, rude, etc, and their entire demeanor is off-putting, aggressive, and defensive. No one can say or do anything for fear their loved one will be hurt, and it brings every gathering down. I've dealt with this my entire life. First, with siblings spouses, and now with children's spouses. 🙄
I love how to deal with bullies techniques. I am a woman only 5 feet tall. I have a friendly personality. Bullies zone in on me like an animal hunting prey. This last guy (last week) I simply either ignored him or gave him a blank confident stare. It was a 2 hour small social event. While I want to be pleasant 99% of the time, bullies do not respond well and it is good to have these fantastic techniques.
Maybe I'm just old (probably ;) ) but do dudes now not like the shortay girls? When I was coming up, the cute 4'11-5'4 girls would get all the play. Sure they might get teased a little for being "fun sized" but that was because he really wanted her number/email. It was the tall ladies who would always get the harsh burns. ("Hey Gigantor, this is a frat party not a WNBA game!")
@@JamesRDavenport Oh! My post was confusing. I was not talking about sexual harassment, I was talking about actual bullying... they try to be a dominate jerk and tell me what to do. It's usually women who give me the most trouble.
How was he bullying you?
Lol. No one cares sweetheart
I love doing the blank stare. It forces them to instantly self-reflect on their absurd comment.
My dad and paternal grandma would insult me quite frequently. I rarely had a comeback because I was too busy absorbing the hurt feelings. I held on to that trauma for years. Thank goodness I don't care much about what people say about me anymore. 👏🏼👍🏼
That is really sad. 😢
Forgive in leave it in God’s Hands, believe in Him with all your heart and He will repay: “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Romans 12:19-21
Good for you!
You developed a thick skin because you had to.
There’s an Italian saying, I don’t know if the literal translation makes sense though: When the offender is nothing, the offence doesn’t subsist.
Definition of diplomacy: Being able to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip! More people really ought to cultivate that type of much needed ability!!!
That's actually a comeback itself: "I'd tell you to go to hell, but I think you'd look forward to the trip!".
ive also learned that when you insult someone that insulted you, look them in the eyes after because it’ll kinda scare them and it lets them know that your not hurt in any way possible and it kinda challenges them like “is there anything else you wanna say?”. Im all about eye contact. Every time i’m insulted, i look them in the eye and i say something, it’s always a dub.
Eye contact and speaking in a monotone go well together.
@@gregmardis9898 and I always use their words and logic on them. If they take the comeback well I usually let it go and bring them into the humor but if they get butt hurt or try to continue to insult me I'll double down and go into ridiculous realm. I've been know to make it a running joke or hours, days or even weeks.
The problem isn't so much coming up with a great comeback, it's coming up with the comeback in a timely manner. If you can't counter the insult within a few seconds, just don't.
Sometimes an awkward silence works great.
My eyebrows stop people from ever trying anything with me!
I immediately pictured Oscar the Grouch😠 Is that accurate? 😉 @elizawilson5981
I was called F**got and G*y every damn day on the bus, and my simple yet loud response so everyone could hear was “Stop licking your lips at me!!”
He was thirsty. 🤣🤣🤣
The problem with the laughing at the insult examples, which makes sense for this video, is that none of those people are actually trying to insult the other person. The context makes them more like joke and you can clearly tell that whatever they're saying is for the absudity and laughter than it is to actually be insulting. This makes it much easier to laugh at where as if someone is trying to insult you the laughter may not come as easy because you realize this persons instent isnt to make you laugh. Basically the intent to offend you can be more insulting that the insult itself even when the insult doesnt really offend you.
it is a garbage video. just celebrity news not instructive about anything
I understand everything you're saying. Drives you mad It's like mind checkers or something I know
Good point. Party of friends roasting each other just4fun is one thing. People who are trully want you down is another, and is not really covered by this vid
Laughing at someone who really is trying to insult you is even more effective. You are telling them that their insult means absolutely nothing to you. You are completely belittling them without saying a single word.
@@jasondashney while it might be more effective the point of my comment was that its harder to do, but even then that isnt always some people just dont give two shits. Because at the end of the day you both realize none of it really matters. Peiple insult and get insulted all the time its up to the individual to let it effect them or not. And in some cases you really shouldn't take bs lying down it just might invite more of it. If i laugh at something that actually offends me i could be saying to that person that i actually find it funny give them a reason to do it more. Now they can pass it off as well its just a joke or whatever. There are circumstances and every situation isnt the same as the next.
My advice-instead of getting angry or offended, be amused. It drives them nuts and keeps you level-headed. I don't mean amused in a mocking sort of way but like amusedly curious about why the other person is being so hostile
Another approach is to very calmly ask - "Did you say that to hurt my feelings?" and wait for their response. You could follow up with a concerned "Why would you want to do that to someone?" or "What would motivate you to do such a thing?" My kids use such an approach at school. The aim isn't to denegrate, just to illuminate. You could also add (if you're feeling a bit nasty)... "Not getting enough attention at home perhaps?". 🙂
excellent replies. A similar response is "If you are having a bad day please dont take it out on me"
@@polar315 Yes, I like it. Or with a slight mod - "perhaps you could consider keeping you bad day to yourself next time...". Merry Christmas to you - Dave
Those are great replies. But that's what they are: Replies. Comebacks are meant to denigrate 🤣
@@Leitefsj Precisely. Once you lower yourself to denigration, you're playing the same game as your aggressor. Depends on your intention - I try hard not to put others down as it's not the person i want to be - and it's something of an indicator of my own level of insecurity. Every time I rise above my impulses and try to be positive, or at worst - neutral, it improves my own self worth. (Sometimes it's a bit tempting to let it fly though...). 🙂
@@deldridg I know what you mean, bro. However, if there's an audience, I'll go as low as I can to burn the mf 😂. Now, if it's just the two of us, yeah, a more non aggressive, peaceful approach is the way to go.
If someone is trying to insult me, I don't care about upsetting them.
Ill sum it up for you. " React without emotion. " Narcissists and manipulators want a reaction. Either their way or upset. Well dont react and take away their power. Youre welcome.
And make them think that they were right?? This is a suggestion to “get some narcissist and toxic people get triggered”?? or is a “prove that their ideas are wrong”?? It’s not a hateful comment, I’m just asking...
@@alfonsomendez9787 no reaction is the best reaction. Are you asking if this gives them the idea that they are right? If so, yes, but they always do. What I’m struggling with more is the ‘sensible’ people that have a certain standing. But still very judgmental and shortsighted, hidden under a layer of being decent and cooperative. These can really surprise you with statements that reflect their deeper sense of self and views of others.
I agree with you, though I would re-phrase your advice to 'don't give them YOUR energy, they just want to steal it from you to prove they are the centre of the universe!' Ultimately, you cannot win in the eyes of a narcissist. Either they consider themselves justified in insulting you or, you become the perpetrator to their internalised victim.
Exactly they want our energy, so dont give them your energy. If you have to live with a narcissist ignore them just say no to everything to save your energy. Othervise stay away from them.
@@vinceturner3863 seriously!!! Thank you, I may get a few insults myself for saying this but I never looked at it that way even though it's the truth....
The Dalton character in The movie, roadhouse, had the best and succinct comeback to an insult I've ever heard and I've used it for over a decade in political forums on the internet. And it's almost universal in it's effectiveness. After being insulted I simply say, "well, opinions vary.". It's probably easy for me because I never actually feel insulted. I always see them as a reflection of the person making the insult. The only human being on the planet that I've emotionally or intellectually given permission to ever hurt me with words is my wife. And she never does.
This is a great comment. Thank you
It's very hard to insult me as well. Maybe even impossible. And even if something DID insult me, the person would never know, because I would act as if it didn't. But I don't get offended by much of anything. I've found though, that being that way, sometimes makes ppl think it's a challenge to see if they can get a rise out of me. There's been a few ppl like that during my life. They try everything in their power to make me angry. Not much makes me angry either...well, unless you mess with my dog. That's not going to end well.
weak
@@scambammer6102 opinions vary. 🤣🤣
That bit about your wife being the only person who you allow in your life to ever hurt you with words shows how committed you both are to eachother. Much respect. 👍
I get verbally bullied by my classmates everyday, and whatever they say it's only after a while that i think "Oh, i should have said this!" One thing for certain, though.*Never show that you are unaffected or laugh along with the joke!* I did this for a good full month, and in the end those guys crossed their limits with a few others joining them, as it shows that anyone could treat you according to their wish.
He missed a type. The Over the Head style comeback. William F. Buckley was a master: "I won't insult you by pretending that you meant anything that you just said"; or "I'd like to agree with you but that would be an affront to your intelligence"
That second one is killer! because it means they have to claim more intelligence and disown the statement, or admit they have just that amount.
The verbal counter punch that will dismantle your attacker peacefully. Thanks
The people who resort to everyone thinks /says are the weakest. I like to respond, "it's me, not we. Speak for yourself." That usually brings silence.
I usually just smile and respond to trolls with “I’ve been through more in life than you can possibly imagine. Your comments don’t matter to me” and walk away. Occasionally I stay and just watch in silence to see how long their angry tantrum will last. Most trolls have left me alone by now, I think they believe that I may be sadistic and treating them like free television. I grew up in a very violent and abusive childhood, so it’s occasionally entertaining to see how unhinged these entitled brats get when you are just silent. A slap in the face would just make me laugh because I’ve been through literal torture. Most trolls seek a reaction or attention. I guess when you have dealt with enough trolls in life, you become the troll. I still find these videos interesting and I feel bad that some of my friends get genuinely upset over hurtful comments. Trolls are worthless so they want others to feel as worthless, jealous, empty and miserable as they are. Misery is the only thing some people are capable of and it’s tragic.
Having some good comebacks in your back pocket can be helpful. It lets people know you arent an easy target therefore gaining respect most times.
Fastest way to build confidence. Just constantly put yourself in challenging situations, get off your phone and go outside and live
F that people are dangerous
@@scambammer6102 ppl are pretty damn frightening out there
Very true
I love how Tommy from Peaky Blinders handles insults or threats while he's talking: he just pauses, ignores what they said, and keeps talking.
My comeback on an insult would be: ‘what a nice thing to say; you must be very proud in saying it!’. Another one would be: ‘you should use that line more often as that’s very becoming, it gives you class!’
I always say "Sorry, I don't value your opinion one bit".
Or: If I want your opinion I’ll give it to ya!
My fave comeback is to say, "He's doing his best." Roll your eyes and add, "That's what's so tragic." Works every time.
Used this, now have 2 black eyes and super high confidence
I love not reacting at first and then tell the person attempting to insult me what they should have said but phrased it in what an actual intelligent or funny individual would have stated.
Don has such great comebacks. Like when he tells Duck he doesn't have a contract or when he says to Herb that "why don't you buy a meal because I'm tired of taking it out from your account"
Don Draper or Don MacDonald?:)
The funny thing about most of these clever comebacks like "Dons" is the lines are the best that a dozen very bright writers could come up with over a period of time. We are just not that fast/clever most of the time with insults they sound more douche than clever.
@@Rambleon444 I only found a few of these comebacks to be actually clever or remotely funny. None of them made me laugh, and this entire video only reinforced my belief that COD isn't really helping anybody as much as it makes people seem very douchey when they try these techniques. I only follow this channel because I'm entertained by all the fails- the COD fails, the Hollywood star fails, and perhaps the most entertaining are the fails in the comments section. Yours wasn't one of them, btw, as your assessment is spot on.
@@Rick-the-Swift There's a good quote “A little fragrance always clings to the hand that gives the roses.” I imagine the inverse- A little stench always clings to the person speaks crap. Thank you for the compliment!
@@Rambleon444 Those are both great quotes! I hope I can borrow yours sometime as well😄
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Acting uneffected and dismissive works too. People only do these things to get a rise out of you. So basically trying to set you up. The way around that is to not give them what they want, and even perhaps what would be worse to them-be kind when they expect anger. It teaches them how to act, as well as keeps you in your happy place. We don’t teach with aggression. We teach with kindness.
What I like to do is give a compliment that will make the person regret it, like "bro, you're a smart guy, I'm sure you're able to reformulate that in a better way." Or "I'm sure you don't really mean to say that."
Providing a compliment to someone that has just insulted you is only effective if you are truly being sincere, otherwise is comes as as sophomoric or juvenile and you appear to be injured or have hurt feelings. "I know you are but what am I" "That's really funny" HaHa. Doesn't necessarily give you the upper hand...
Someone really hurt you, didn't they.
@@Rick-the-Swift lots of people try. bring it
I actually pulled a high status reframe in high school. a girl made some snarky comment to me and I turned to one of our mutual friends and asked if they remembered what her name was. she got very upset.
I’ve been told many times that I have the patience of a Saint . But anyone being rude or insulting to me or any of my family and friends and basically anyone I deem to being bullied. Will be told in short order to curb ignorant attitude. To hell with a witty retort or come back.
You know narcissists cannot take tit for tat, they just flip into victim mode when you return the same favor on them 😂
💯
My favorite come back when insulted or threatened is a simple "oh yeah" or "aight" and just walk away....kill with kindness or silence.
No.
Or say "I KNOW!" really excited sounding like you're amazed they noticed whatever it is they're going on about.
most people who make uncalled for insults are always the ones that have the insecurities themselves! once you understand this you can just laugh back at them 😅
So true 👍 well hidden in their closet
I was leaving a job and at my fairwell, with all the staff present, the CEO gave this wonderful speech with an insult in it. I was HR manager, and believed a happy workforce will mean a healthy company...which him and some other snr management didn't agree with, as they saw people as numbers without feelings. So he praised and then continued to say, "although she was a bit too emotional at times". Before I could think I responded with, "well, at least I have a heart". Some were so pleased I said that and I could see them smiling behind their hands and others turned around so not to face him as they chuckled. That was the end of his speech too.
I was a heavy drinker and then stopped and went back to school and got my AA. My sister made a comment to my cousin and said “I always thought she’d be in AA, not get an AA!” That made me laugh so hard!
The Jordan Peterson clip is perfect, telling the person to reframe in the form of an actual question.
which applies to every word JP says himself
@@scambammer6102 Yeah JP's strongest technique is to rapidly mention a dozen academic concepts to support a single point, which makes it impossibly long to disprove them all. He's only good at presenting lies as objectively true, and making objective truth sound like a lie.
@@MILOPETIT You obviously haven't listened to any JP. He's probably the greatest intellectual of our time. Millions of online viewers, international speaking engagements, and three best seller books. Sorry, but your opinion is just that, an opinion, and not a good one.
@@nathanpeacock9978 ha ha ha guy is a cheezy conman. Donald trump with a bigger vocabulary
@@nathanpeacock9978 I legit have no idea if you're being ironic and that's even funnier
I’m always amazed at what you can get away with if you make eye contact and smile or laugh. They assume you’re joking. Every. Time
Yep. You know you have great sarcastic skills when they can't tell if you're joking or just being mean. They'll usually go for you're just joking. I love it.
Some try to camouflage their mean, disrespectful comments with a smile or laugh. I knew a person, (man) who would try to do that with me. He did not know how close he came to being physically hurt at times. It may work for women but men see right through the fake joking to the real intent.
@@nathanpeacock9978 no, he was just really bad at it. There’s a difference between him being bad at it and you being smart because you caught on. The difference is, I’m not trying to intimidate or be mean. It’s SARCASM, baby and unintelligent people don’t get it
Once we went to a wonderful Vietnamese restaurant on New Year’s Day with my sister in law who at the time just had a habit of being rude..We were seated at the table and the lovely waiter came over and was taking all of our orders and there was a bit of a language barrier. No problem we were getting through it. SIL was just running her mouth for whatever reason and out of nowhere the waiter asked her what her name was. She said her name and he said “no wonder”. Her face was priceless. 😮. I truly think he had zero intentions of trying to insult her but she kept asking all of us; WHY DID HE SAY THAT?? To this day (30 years later) my now ex husband and I still crack up hysterically over that moment and say No Wonder all the time as a general insult 😂😂😂😂
a big part of the trick is the timing you will usually need a moment to think of a reply but you have to do this in a way that people don't notice you actually took that time it's like at 4:40 you may just act like you're letting the insult sink in and then the comeback feels like you had it ready from the start, while you'll actually have used the time for preparing it. it's not easy to create this illusion, but it's necessary otherwise you will rush, and it's incredibly difficult to actually come up with a clever response in a fraction of a second so you either need to sort of make a little act about the silence or use some word filler to delay the actual comeback, while leaving the impression that you were building up to it (even though you didn't know yet what it would be exactly)
Yes I dealt with taking jokes too seriously. I since then stopped & confidence and natural comebacks happened. This video was actually very informative. A+ ✅✅✅✅
Those of us in the South have a very simple and very effective way of responding to an insult and letting them know they cannot affect us with their insult, while at the same time making them feel like they just got roasted but in a way that they really can't take offense to without looking petty and mean-spirited. We just smile and say " bless your heart ".
I have used the "bless your heart" before. Sometimes it leaves people scratching their heads wondering what to say next.
Does this one get old though? I’ve seen a lot of people use it online and even in television.
@@AutomHatter It depends on the way it is said as to what it means. Sometimes is is to show affection and reallty means bless your heart or bless his or her heart if something bad had happened. If it is said sarcastically, it is meant as an insult.
I never thought I’d be “that person” but everyone has a turn ig 1: The high status reframe 0:22 2:Accept the insult and use it against them 1:42 3: Insult the insult 4: Draw a boundary 5: Tue “tit for tat” or “sue for an eye” method 5:21 6: Show that you unaffected 6:27 Your welcome ;))
There's so much info in this video it could've been broken into a multi part series. Also: being able to laugh at yourself is invaluable.
The weakest link one was EPIC....she didn't even know what to do with herself!
She was the weakest link, hence the network cut her loose. 😂
I like to say “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you said. Will you repeat it?” Especially if there are others around.
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I think the drawing boundaries method works sometimes, but it can also give the impression that you're easily hurt or offended. I think being able to genuinely laugh at yourself always wins. Especially if you're getting bullied or teased for your appearance. Gaining the confidence to accept yourself and the way you look is obviously easier said than done, but if you can, it's so worth it. A good example is "Fat Amy" from Pitch Perfect. She's confident and knows that she's overweight, but she uses that to her advantage. This trope has been done in a lot in other series/movies as well, but I've seen it happen in real life so many times, and it really does work. You're basically taking the weapons from the enemies arsenal and using them for yourself, and it ends up with you instantly gaining the respect of your peers, and sometimes even the person who insulted you in the first place.
The thing that works every time is talking about the other person’s feelings and what motives him/her into making the question in the first place. It deviates the attention to the person that makes the question taking out every weight it could have. Feelings are more important than words
If anyone disrespects you always remember this: “So the last shall be first, and the first last” _ Matthew 20:16 this life is only temporary, what matters is the eternal result and how you're going to be there based on the actions you take here. This life is just like destiny shopping for your next life.