Benzo Dope and Tranq: The Next Wave of the Overdose Crisis
More than 100,000 Americans died of a drug overdose in 2021, the worst year on record. The newest wave of the overdose crisis involves man-made chemicals, including animal tranquilizers, that are being combined with fentanyl to make street drugs that are deadlier and more addictive.
With access to an undisguised fentanyl dealer, Beyond Fentanyl looks at how drugs like “benzo dope” and “tranq” are ravaging North American communities and how U.S. policy affected the latest flood of synthetic street drugs.
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The host of this episode looked like a mess lmaooo. Brush her hair
A few are getting paid to shlt in their own cake they sell Well be a new cartel war
Omg dude so sad I hear you all 4 of my kids are addicts three of them are severe alcoholics/ pill/ meth addicts...I'm jus sick n so depressed bc Im like how did I fail these kids how did I fail them...I some how missed their pain n or whatever it was they cudnt deal with n had to numb the pain...all I can do now is support them if they choose sobriety bc no one can make a person get sober they gotta do tht themselves.
Are you censoring the fre4king text on the shirts. 7:06
je comprendrais jamais de vendre de la dope qui tue assez vite et qui coûte presque rien comme le Fentanyl bref drôle de buisness man parce que d'ici 1 ou 2 ans max ils seront tous morts et ils devront en vendre à des enfants (ce qu'ils font déjà) qui eux vont aussi mourir donc à la fin ils devront attendre devant les écoles enfantines et après je sais pas les home pour pers agées bref en 5 ans tout le monde sera mort bon buisness plan depuis que les Colombiens les laissent pratiquement faire (les Mexicains) voilà le résultat des gens qui sont analphabète souvent
When I was addicted to fentanyl after getting prescribed fentanyl patches for an injury, no one even knew what it was. I would sweat the patches off early and would be dope-sick for a week every month. The withdrawal from fentanyl is something you can't imagine. I ended up going on the street to get something to avoid the nightmare of fentanyl cold-turkey. Finding fentanyl on the street was impossible at the time 2012-2015 so I would buy heroin or roxicodone or Dilaudid. Fentanyl is so strong that I would snort 150 mgs of roxicodone at once and just feel..ok. Not high, just stable. It would make the withdrawal subside. It's truly a nightmare existence. I kicked fentanyl cold turkey in my bed and it was every second of 2 1/2 weeks of Hell. I didn't know if I would survive and honestly, I didn't care. But I couldn't live that way. I laid there, weeping and begging God for mercy. My heart goes out to anyone suffering the slavery of opiate addiction. Fentanyl is a curse.
no lie
jeez thats tough asf, im addicted to pressed street xanax that has fentanyl in it and i want to quit but dont because i dont want to get withdrawals ever
Spent 5 years prescribed 175 mcg. every 2 days. Was cut cold turkey about 18 months ago and been running around since then having a hell of a time trying to keep up with myself. Well, more like keep up with it, because this isn't myself. This is no way to be. I am calling everyday to get a bed in inpatient and should be able to go in the next 2 weeks. God willing. Have lost so much ... I hope that all of us might find our way out of this mess .. and come to find grace. Update: I got a date to go into inpatient .... Its gonna be either one week or two weeks from yesterday so that is good! Its awesome to see all the people who are here sharing empathy and encouragement .... thank you for the kind words !
GOOD BLUES
It is possible tho correct? Opiate addiction is the worst thing I have ever had to go thru
Blackout dope is what we call it where I live in Ontario. It's put me in an ambulance at least 15 times. I threw my 20s away using drugs and only by the grace of God am I still here. For the past 2 years I've been fighting for my recovery, one day at a time. Tomorrow, I start college.. at 31 years old. I pray anyone affected by this disease finds the courage to change the things they can.
strength u got keep going clean proud of u for getting off going to college
@@melissaphillips5178 Thank you. I'm just working it 24 hours at a time
@@letterstocleo9247 thank you so much! I spent a lot of 24s getting to a place where this would even be possible for someone like me and I can't wait to get through it all so I can show others it can be done.
Great attitude! Enjoy life, it's too short.
🌻❤️🦋🌸
I love how she mixes the drug with organic 0 calorie sweeteners for a more healthy approach
Pretty sweet right?
Now that she's on tv, how is she avoiding jail?
@@BuildNumber42asking myself the same question 🙋♂️
At least it's vegan 👍
@@BuildNumber42US and Canadian governments don't care about stopping this problem. That's why the dealers are so bold
What we're witnessing, more than anything, is a mental health crisis that's being overlooked. The consequences are multifaceted, leading to increased homelessness, addiction, crime, and an immeasurable loss of life. We, as a society, can do more and for sure we can do much better.
Sometimes I wonder if it's even that. I think it's just a part of human nature to want drugs. (And money and power, of course.) Philosophically, I don't think putting a substance into your own self is a criminal/immoral act. (Also, if dealing in all this crap is immoral, so is running a liquor store.) Until they figure out a way to change human nature, the drug war will be a failure. And as disturbing as this drug crisis is, it's not as disturbing as the cartel chaos in Mexico. New thinking about all of this is long, long overdue.
It's always been known that it's a mental health issue. All government's deny the truth of its cause because it shines a light on their incompetence and failure to address the real reasons for addiction in our communities. Inequality unemployment bad housing no housing no hope. Enough reasons to start anyone down that track of trying to get away from the misery and hopelessness of your environment. I speak the truth. ✌️☘️
What sucks is IN reality the government JUST DOES NOT CARE...
@@michaeltucci3445why should they?
My family is 4th generation addicts and has major mental health issues. My great grandfather drank himself to death. His son (My grandfather and his brother), my own brother, and 4 of our cousins have committed s*****e after battling addiction and mental health issues. My brother was only 28, it happened this year. He was addicted to meth and heroine, also schizophrenic and died in his “workplace” which was a shed that a construction owner allowed him to live in, provided the drugs and use in; My brother would do manual labor in return. I just turned 24 this November. I have been clean for 7 years. I was drinking by age 10. Addicted to painkillers at 16. My father passed in a drunk driving accident (he was drunk) when I was 9. It set my family free from the abuse finally but spent 4 months in foster care because my remaining family could not agree on who would take us. A 10 year old me, 14 year old brother, and 1 year old sister. My mother used throughout our lives and was never around. She is 6 years sober but could not associate with my brother. My brother was horribly abused, traumatized, and hardened. Even when evaluated the concern was his addiction not for his mental health. They never got to the roots, it was always “you have to just stop. Just stop”. His symptoms were ignored even while in jail or in places where he had withdrawn and not been using (very rare). He was arrested repeatedly AND documented mentally incapable unless following the “proper treatment plan”. Yet he was released repeatedly with no consequences or in patient care required. If he refused to follow court ordered therapy, medications, etc. Which really did work... Nothing would happen. It was “don’t do this again or we will arrest you”. He just could not hang on… we had it too bad. He was unable to see that we’ve made it… he has his own children that he was unable to see for almost 5 years. He was too unstable and unpredictable. He just couldn’t recover. That is barely the surface of our lives but hopefully enough to make you think. I’m not saying that everything my brother and I have been through justifies our addictions. I had a choice. He was mentally ill so his “choice” is way more complicated than “just put it down”. However, we were genetically and environmentally predisposed. We were at a disadvantage. He died, he lost his life to this thing that people call “a mindset”. This delusion that it’s a “just stop kind of thing”. Not just him… I have truly lost count of the friends and family it has taken from me. I’m still standing with all the scars to show for it… I wonder every day why she didn’t consume me the way she did them… I am sick and tired of addiction in this country be ignored and undermined. People are really out here thinking “oh I can do this once and be fine” or “I will never get addicted/My children/My family will never be addicted”… “it won’t be me” But it can. At any moment without notice.. All of a sudden you or someone you love is gone… faded into the abyss that is addiction. And then everyone will looks at you like “why can’t you just stop?”…. YOU WILL LOOK AT YOURSELF AND BEG TO STOP… You can have it kind of rough like we did or have that “3 meals a day with grandma”… It is still a battle, not a joke. It is something we cannot ignore anymore.
It’s really nice of her to take her friends money while slowly killing them. Incredibly noble of her
You're not very good at thinking
@@timothymorano9305 whats to think about she's a dealer selling death. I don't care how clean she wants to call her own dope but its still dope and still kills. So she isn't any better than any other POS dealer
It's insane how demons are now looked upon as angels, huh?
Right? Stupid too lol "only use my first name but show my face the whole time"
but she uses natural cutting agents to make it safer, plus she has narcan on hand!
I was heavily addicted to benzos, which are widely known to cause the worst side effects of any drugs. I know ex heroin addicts who said to me the benzo wirhdrawals are worse than heroin. Anyways, after my doctor cut me off cold turkey when he discovered that I was abusing the benzos, I went through what I believe hell is supposed to feel like. My addiction grew worse as I had to buy them from the streets, and from there, between ages 17 - 20 I barely have any memories of those times. When I was 20, one day I bought the wrong batch of "xanax" and I only ate 2. My parents find me unresponsive and call 911. The fire department was luckily half a mile a way, I die, and get brought back to life. After 3 days in the hospital, with the help of my parents, I tapered off that garbage once and for all. Now, I'm almost 5 years clean! Don't EVER touch that poison please.
It's the opposite for me. I've been through klonopin withdrawl 3 times, (in psych hospitals they cut you off cold-turkey. No controlled substances of any kind even if you're prescribed. I had seizures. Yeah, it wast still going on a month later when I got out and started taking them again. Now it's been 7 years on them, but I would be dead without them. I just cannot function and live a happy and productive life with my severe panic... to me opioid withdrawl is the worst thing imaginable, a fate worst than death itself.. im on methadone now because I would try to hurt myself whenever I went into withdrawl. In my opinion though benzos are pretty much useless for a recreational high. I mean, if you like forgetting what happened for the past few days than realize you went on a bender of some of the most idiotic things I've done. But no euphoria or a real propper "high" like opioids, meth, or even weed.
Well done buddy.
Benzos are absolutely the worst to get off of .. with lasting effects from months to a year
@@camdenretter3226 yeah benzos recreationally are ASS. there were very rare occasions where I hit the "benzo sweet spot," where I got the most pleasurable buzz achieveable without overdoing it and blacking out. I chased 2 dragons, the; 1) Benzo sweet spot. And 2) a dose of benzos to keep the agonizing hell that is benzo withdrawals at bay. During that time I tried all kinds of strange substances and did many things I would have otherwise never done. It was a horrific and very eye opening time in my life. I'm lucky to still be here honestly.
I still think opiate withdrawal is the worst
I started doing drugs since my teenage, got addicted to opioid. Opioid addiction actually destroyed my life. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Was diagnosed with cptsd. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, opioids, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm really happy for you that your wife decided to help you...I hear about alot of family members or so called friends shutting an addict out of their life, which since most addicts do it to mask emotions to me is the worse thing someone can do to an addict.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
Absolutely terrifying. After being homeless and a two time survivor of Endocarditis due to intravenous drug use over the course of twelve years, I totally understand what alot of these people are going through. Living on the streets, shooting everything up, absesses all the time. Been clean off of all hard drugs and needles for three years now. I pray everyday for everyone dealing with this horrible disease. I have lost so many friends, more than anyone should. These videos are great, because they help get this real truth out to some people who may not know or understand. Keep them coming. Thank you. Prayers for everyone effected by this disease 🙏
Don't try hard drugs if you are depressed or have personal issues, because you will most likely get physically addicted because you will constantly get high when you have issues to forget about your problems. I did heroin. It's a good high but it's nothing to chase after, you have deeper issues if you let yourself get addicted to Heroin, Fentanyl and any other hard drugs
Prayers up! 🙏 7 years in & still "struggle" ..for lack of a better descriptive word. God bless ❤
Glad you made it bro
Stay great King! Amazing work
Congratulations on getting clean and staying clean.
I used to snort heroin. Started as a teen. My life went down hill. Got clean when I was 37. It's been 18 years now. I am so grateful to be free. Watching this brought tears to my eyes.
I hope you know JESUS CHRIST as your LORD and savior
Congratulations on your sobriety. The fight never ends.
You got out early, luckily. I quit fentanyl and got out pretty unscathed, one day at a time.
@@hadassahimmanuel1727 I do!
What made u quit, and what helped u stay clean..asking for a friend..
hearing carrie’s dad speak breaks my heart. he’s such a good dad. i hope his kids including carrie can overcome addiction. a girl that used to be friends with my brother in the 5th grade started using and died not even a year later from a fent overdose. drugs are awful and so scary.
If three of his kids are in active addiction, it means he's not a good dad. He doesnnt care much about his children. A loser.
Good dads generally don't raise addicts. Something about his performance felt extremely...stage managed, too.
@@theclockworkcadaver7025agreed. Three of four kids strung out. Definitely a failure of parenting.
@@theclockworkcadaver7025this isnt really true at all their are plenty of present loving and caringprents who because to circumstances out side of their control like trauma ,sa , poverty ,mental illness, etc have kids who will lead into addiction me for instance have been addicted to mary jane(for a short time while i was suicidally depressed) come from loving parents, they maynot be the best but are def better than alot of others , its alot more nuanced, but what i will say is allowing you chikd to face homelessness instead of doijg everythingin your power to help like researchin safe ways to get your child off said drug , making sure they know they are still lived no matter uf they are addicted to a subtance or not , and having open non judgmental convos about the dangers of adolescent drug use and safety if they do decide to do it in the future with moderation and education on testing , who your doung them around etc.
I feel bad for him.
Psilocybin mushrooms healed me . I can't explain it but my experience has been spiritual and eye opening . I also started micro dosing . It really helped me get rid of depression and anxiety .
I've been looking to get my hands on shrooms for my anxiety and stress levels . Any one knows where I can source ? 0:05
@@RobertDavid-fn3qoYes dr.kellyshroom 0:18
@@JohnChristopher-jq1efdr.kellyshroom is the best . He's been my go to for anything psychedelics and shrooms . He's very good
@@DanielJohn-xx6epIs he on insta? 0:07
@@DestinyDonald-vc3cmYes he's dr.kellyshroom 0:04
He pointed out the actual problem and it was brushed passed, which clearly demonstrates why the problem persists. We have an addiction problem, not a Fent, Benzo, or Tranq problem. Every few years the "problem" is simply a different flavor than before. Diminished education system, lack of opportunity, disenfranchisement, treated with callous indifference, no visible avenue which actually provides a way out, hopelessness. The drug will continually change, however, until the cause of the problem is functionally addressed, Addiction will continue to plague society, escalating as more join the ranks of the Lost, Forgotten, and Dismissed.
I agree there is an addiction crisis my issue is our government only cares because they can't profit from it, which they thrive off of. Cigarettes & alcohol they profit hugely and they don't care they are addictive. We've always had an addiction problem throughout history the issue is who profits from it.
Well put 👏
Nonsense we have a weak and dying culture not an addiction probablem. People simply refuse to accept reality and accept any accountability.
W0w
@@tylerrobbins8311 🤦
"They can try and justify that they're selling a better dope, a cleaner dope. Death is still death." this hit me so freaking hard.
They said she is an "ethical dealer." WTF.
Indeed "Death is still death" but is good news for people who suffer, not sleeping and are depressed and suicidal. I wish I have a gun but they can't let me buy one (gun=100% success quick and painless) So Opioids are good news for me and countless suffering people
Death is still deity. But if I was on fentanyl and its was a choice between the 2 and I know the one could kill me faster than the other I would take the reg drug. Every time. Especially if I had OD. With the combo. But.... Did u ever think about being in their shoes. Its all bad but in the end.
Honestly she is doing more good than the goverment is doing. If there wasn't people like supplying a clean supply things would get worse. The government needs to step in and give access to a clean heroin / fentanyl supply with safe consumption sites.
Yeah death is death, she still make money from drug. But i dont know the gov also doing nothing the drug dealer are getting out of control, its better get clean and responsible source of drug then very random mix in the street. Of course clean is the best
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in November. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
@@laurapolonioli6576Yes, bergwilly11_
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@@JamesTaylor-ff4dpIs he on instagram?
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
I used to be a junkie when heroin was just heroin. Im so glad I got out when I did and pray for all these people to find their way out of this bondage and slavery.
Just stick to weed people
@@sirdiealot53 nope. Weed sucks. Gives me insane anxiety now.
Admitting to selling fentanyl on camera with no type of identity cover is insane
In Canada sadly people don’t really get convicted and rarely sent to jail and if they do they are back on the streets next day
pretty much decriminalised there bud.
Yeah it's a weird weird world. We don't even know half of it.
People just dont understhe correct and safe way to go about this kind of stuff... look of Switzerland... Legal Heroin Clinics... look at how much it has actually HELPED The country and iits people...Alcohol... the worst substance is legal everywhere...but real legal medicine is totally against the law... .thats why America has millions upon millions of drug dealers... they see the truth... its the asdicts cuz of the manipulative laws America has that totally manipulates, and screws people over just for the drig corruption companies to make their "legal" money
They didnt use her real name so she's ok. Lol
Kicked fentanyl 78 days ago! I just smoke pot now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been so is my family. Anyone out there going through it you can overcome it trust me.
Congratulations bro!! Keep it up and always remember all you have to lose if you ever go back. I was hooked on fentanyl Perks for almost 2 years and went to recovery and life is so much better without the constant search for a high and paranoia. Once your comfortable enough even try to kick the weed bro.
If you wanna do drugs stick to pot the rest of that stuff messes you up completely !! Also big congratulations 🥳 stay clear my man 😎
Do NA groups
serious business. I don't hear about many people who are actually clean off of fentanyl.
Stay busy , stay focused, take it one day at a time! You've got this 👍🏽 78 days is a big deal !! Be proud !!! Sending love and light ur way!
I lost my son to a methadone overdose on July 27 2018. 5 years later and I still grieve everyday. This video breaks my heart...
I'm so sorry. How old was your son?
@shadowfax9177 he was 22 years old. He was my third of six children.. he held the rest of them together..he was a good, talented, sweet boy. Thank u for asking♡♡
@@littbitterst2328methadone????? Was it liquid????? That's rare, was he a regular user? I'm 36 I've been fighting for 16 years, I'm a chronic pain patient I've been on methadone many times and wish I was just on methadone and not fentanyl now.....wish none but😢
God Bless you & ofcourse Your son in heaven
@@littbitterst2328may he rest in peace he will feel your love forever
Im clean for 4 years now..and i was in the same streets you just saw in Vancouver BC. Now im in Quebec healthy, Happy with my family...thank God!
Him dying before his 40th birthday really made me incredibly sad. He knew it, but wasn't strong enough to stop it... that broke my heart. He seemed like he would have been a really great person.
But he's not in pain anymore, to me, it's the ones left behind that is saddest.,
Dude was practicing dying.
All addicts know how their future will pan out but they can’t do anything about it because in the moment they want, need the drug! They are way more distressed and depressed in reality than feel good from the effects of a drug. They don’t really want to do the drug but they physically can’t control it because their lives arnt in the place they imagined it would be when they was a kid. I was highly addicted to some substance for for 10+ years but with the help of my family I was able to get out of that phase. Most of these people don’t have that support, they are just left on the street to rot and that’s the saddest part!
It has nothing at all to do with how strong you are. And it is very sad that he passed away. Where I live, so many people were dying, mostly from heroin, that our medical examiner was full and it was taking forever to get the autopsies done and grieving families and friends had to wait a long time to actually lay their loved ones to rest. At one point in a town close to me, there were so many overdoses from fentanyl being mixed with heroin, all of the EMTs were out on calls, and they could not get to all of the calls because there were so many.
He was my uncle and he was the best I miss him very much always kind of flaky to have around, but always fun for the kids
RIP Gordo. I'm a recovering addict who had over 15 years clean, relapsed and was out there again for 10 years, and have now been off of drugs since 2013. It's not easy, it's an every day battle! Without going into a whole lot of detail, I am so grateful that I got off of drugs in time to be there for my elderly mother when she got sick and she could trust me to handle her finances and also her medication. That was a real gift from God!
GOD honestly ? no what you did was make yourself useful not a bloody GOD sheep living to die
Sounds good but I doubt you clewn
Awesome Kimberly! Stay loving and grateful
@@G4RR3TTJ thank you!!
@@lukerobson489 why do you doubt he's clean, why are people such assholes, what was the point of that comment
That poor father the fear of losing any one of he's children is just horrific, I'm so sorry you have to go through this xx
To anybody who is reading this: this report is not sensationalist. If anything, it's a lighter take on what is going on. Take it seriously. And parents, watch your children.
Sensationalized. Player.
I used to sympathize with drug addicts until a person that I considered a friend (that was addicted) stole from me. Now I have no sympathy... when addicts only care about the high and do not care about what they do to other people then I cannot feel sorry for them.
The first step is realizing the powers at the top WANT this to take place.
@@TheTinLion please elaborate..
Ed you
Unfortunately we treat addiction in the wrong way. Addiction is not the main problem it’s a symptom of an even bigger problem. There’s a reason people want to be out of their minds, until you fix that reason they will keep using and die.
Interested to hear your take. What's the reason?
@@livingstone8347 Everyone’s reason is different. Mostly it boils down to trauma and an inability to cope in a healthy way. Whether they were never taught/learned or they started using drugs so early it became the coping mechanism. A lot of people like to get high, it can be cathartic and fun, but when people want to get so intoxicated that they become a zombie there’s something more going on there. That’s not a good time, that’s completely blocking out your brain. Thanks
You are so right. It might not be 100% trauma but most of the time it is just that. The opioid epidemic was what started all so sad our government wasn't there for us to keep us safe.
@@MissJellybeanYou’re so right! Mine was definitely trauma. Thank God I got clean before the tranq bs. I thought getting off fetty was bad enough. I’d be dead now had I not gotten help when I did. & therapy saved my life. I went once a week *EVERY* week..for 2 years & 4 months. June 17, 2019. We do recover 🙌🏼
well why can't the us army just send the troops in and wipe out the street cleanse the supplies i don't understand it's US why can't the government deal with this seriously
I’m curious how a lot of these documentaries haven’t gotten people arrested
WTF?
After 21 years in the game i have never heard of anyone using monkfruit sweetener as a cutting agent
Welcome to Canada
Watching this in sober living right now. I've been clean for 13 months now... Never thought I'd make it this far, but I'm on fire and see no signs of slowing down. I'm able to actually enjoy life now, it's incredible. It seriously pains me to see people suffering through what I've been through. I wouldn't wish addiction on my worst enemy.
awe proud of you x
Good for you😊❤️
So awesome!!! I wish you continued success ❤️
Keep going man and never look back, im still suffering but maybe someday i can say the same !
Hope you're still sober and happy 😊
No. Just no. As a man who lived through a 22 year love affair with heroin, I have to say that “blaming” anyone isn’t the answer. As long as the demand is there, the supply will be there as well. Nobody wakes up and says “I’m going to get addicted to heroin today”, the addiction stems from underlying issues that all too often go untreated. When I was 17, I was in a motorcycle accident that should have claimed my life. I broke 37 bones, fractured my skull and managed to grate 40% of the skin off my body by sliding down the tarmac at 60 miles an hour with no helmet, shoes or even a shirt. I was in hospital for 9 months, getting regular infusions of Demerol every 4 hours that entire time. Upon my release, I endured over 2 dozen reconstructive surgeries and was prescribed 240 Oxy 30s and 180 Oxy 15s a month for over 10 years. One day my doctor was raided and shut down, leaving me in debilitating pain until I stumbled across heroin. By the time I realized I was completely addicted, it was far too late. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I was able to get clean and have been ever since. The downside though is that in my early 40s I feel as if I’m living in a 100 year old body. My pain is so severe and constant that basic things like running to the store or taking the dogs out brings me to tears… I’m sorry for the lengthy comment, this just hits home for me. Again, it’s not the drugs or even the individual that’s the problem, it is the underlying issues that cause people to seek comfort in substances and when those substances work so well they obliterate all pain, sadness, worry, etc. you can imagine how difficult it is to turn away from and walk back towards pain, suffering, sadness and so on.
what you’ve overcome is incredible and i can only hope that your pain finds a healthy supportive peace
Praying for God to relieve you of your pain in a supernatural miraculous way.
I am so sorry. This sounds really terrible to me that you struggled so much. I am happy you are clean, and am proud of your success. Keep up the excellent work.
Addiction is always depicted as this selfish thing, someone just chasing a high because they are poor or uneducated. It’s so much more complicated than that. Addiction is caused by pain, either mental or physical, and we can all agree that being in pain is the worst and it’s only natural to seek relief no matter what walk of life you’re from. When there’s no support around you, sometimes a dealer is the only person you have left as a lifeline.
Hang in there don’t let that addiction take what clean time you’ve managed to build up. I don’t know if it will help but I take kratom to help me maybe worth a try to put a dent in that pain. I’ll be praying for you.
We need to accept that people are going to use and have it made legally and clean. Distribute it in clinics. People should have to sign up, have a social worker, and while they're using, their kids are in foster care. We take the money used to police and incarcerate to get kids out of this environment and to offer rehab to those who want it. Those who don't, well, at least we can keep their kids safe. Better funding for social services and child care. If people want to rot, at least we can make it so criminals don't profit. We shouldn't profit as a society either. It sucks but people are rotting in the streets and criminals are making tens of thousands killing them. Accept the problem and get the people in clinics where they're surround by social workers and med staff, not criminals and people sucking the life out of them.
If 3 of 4 kids are addicted, it might be a parenting problem. Move away from the area.
My aunt had 6 kids 4 boys and 2 girls all the boys are dead and 1 of the girls. Drugs were a part of why I lost 5 cousins from overdoses to deals gone wrong. One of my cousins died in the same bed with me as we slept staying over another cousins house. My aunt has not been the same since she lost the first one imagine how she is after losing 5 out of 6 kids.
So Kiesha's cooking and selling drugs, allows herself to be filmed doing so with face unblurred, uses her first name. Extremely bold and or stupid if she thinks this won't bite come back to haunt her.
Remember when vice did that show on the bootleg alcoholic drink maker in NYC?? He got shutdown rather quickly.
It’s very unusual she’s showing her face 😱
for real she gone !
@@angela_tarantulas agree, makes me question the authenticity!….
she's a victim of a disease, who is providing mitigated harm reducing distribution to reduce the public health overload.
i’m so proud of everyone who has overcame a drug addiction. ❤
Thank you!
@@JJ-ru5xr Yeah it's sad, I've seen it too, their dopamine and serotonin receptors are so fried that even after a year they don't feel any enjoyment in normal life. It's fucked up.
No such thing as overcoming an addiction
@@tonygreen7531 Yes everyone is addicted to something, and some are genetically more prone to it. It's just that we as a society do not think of good habits/behaviour as addiction necessarily. Also it's called recovery, and not "overcoming" if you manage to stay off.
Thank you 🤓
She says her fent is good and safe but then says she saved hundreds of lives with narcan. This women is confused
This is horrible anyone involved in dealing drugs like these has no excuses. Anyone who thinks cutting off supply will do any good should seriously reconsider. And to anyone who is going through something like this, i truly, truly hope you get better
There is a lack of spirit and empathy in the world right now unmatched by any point in history. We need communities and families again.
History is long and cruel...
Yes, and these crazy restrictions due to Covid have contributed. This world and our society need to change.
We live in a feel good time. Everything is about making ourselves and others feel good. That's not love. Love is sometimes tough and rough.
Thats right. We all need to think more with our hearts and less with our heads
Unfortunately the world is going in the opposite direction!!
If 3 out of your 5 children are addicted to drugs, and one of them started using heroin at age 13, you did something wrong as a parent. What happened to your children that led them to drug addiction? Where were you?
Exactly. There's a common denominator there and it's not those kids
How neglected does a kid need to be to get into a circle where people have heroin to give out at that age anyways?!
@@annamaria9073 wrong place wrong time, there’s always gonna be someone somewhere tryna make a buck even if it’s your kid at a park and they don’t even know what it is
So sad for so many reasons. Excellent reporting.
I'm a food delivery driver in Victoria BC. I have seen the effects of the legalization of hard drugs in my province. I've lived in my city for over 50 years and it is changed quite a bit in the last few years and not for the better
What stands out
@sopanmcfadden276 open use of hard drugs such as meth and crack. I've also seen people ready their needles for shooting up. A fair bit more homeless and some of the addicts I see just completely slumped over. My guess is their drugs may be late with xylazine.
Thank the left, libs/ndp love drug induced citizens
It’s not legalized…? Do they sell regulated tested dope in stores? No? Then it’s not in any way legal. It NEEDS to be fully legalized. Then it can be properly regulated. Use your head
@drewharrison1840 the only drugs you can buy in stores are alcohol and cannabis products. Possession of hard drugs is now legal. Unfortunately, I think things are going downhill as a result of that. I have way too little information to have any better opinion. I would like to see studies of where this policy has been tried before and what were the results
my god, the guy with the three addicted children. Fucking heartbreaking...
We don’t care African American have been murdered and some in jail for 10 $ bag of weed Fk hypocrites By the way most murderers are from a specific race From the police 🚔 to the civilians Cheers from West Africa 🦅
@Good Bye 🙏🏿
As a father of two, it makes me want to kill every dope dealer until I get popped or arrested but I know it'd do no good - worse dealers with somehow even less conscience than the predecessor would take their place.
I almost cried 🤧
The poor fourth child too :(
"Asked us to only use her first name..." as she shows her face clearly commiting numerous felonies. It blows my mind people are willing to put themselves out there like that. Why? Do they think law enforcement will never see this or use it to find them. Madness.
It's different in BC. Cops won't bother doing an investigation from this documentary. Fentanyl dealers are dime a dozen.
She's in Vancouver. I dont think she is at risk of being arrested or charged by the police there.
@@briano7986 Really? Are all drugs legal there or do the cops not care about it? Seems crazy anyone can sell drugs that are killing people without any consequences.
I thought same thing, but maybe it's known by authorities and somehow allowed to avoid deaths from overdose and fentanyl with whatever chemicals are in it.
@@yvettetorres7829 I don’t know, it just seems crazy to me that anyone can sell any substance, especially one that’s killing people, without having to worry about being arrested.
RIP Gord... bless you and your family. And EVERY family touched by this heartbreaking epidemic RIP Liam Wilsom 4/29/96- 7/27/18. We miss you♡♡
He finally got kinda famous at least
15:00 If all three of your children are addicts, you have failed as a father.
This is my best friend Gordie. I was his best man at his wedding, and we go way back as little shits growing up in a small town in the Caribou of British Columbia, Canada. We were ride or die for many years and we been through a lot and seen a lot. Fortunately, I decided to throw in the towel and I am now almost 8 years sober from alcohol, cocaine and other garbage I used to put in me, as of August. Gordie used to always reach out to me for help and I tried my best to guide him to the right path. Not only as I see Gordie as my brother, I see him as a hero. This does not get any more raw and educational for the people who are thinking about dabbling into hard drugs or the ones trying their best to get out of it and when people save lives, they are heros. I'm sure this video will help save some. I love this guy. RIP, brother Gordie.
His passing and rap footage/conversation at the end fucking killed my heart, bro. Glad I saw this comment. RIP King.
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad you’re safe. 🙏🏼💙🥺
I broke down about Gordie. I asked God a favor. Gordie was a good heart and a pure soul. He did nothing wrong. I just felt some connection there and just care. Im so sorry your friend died. RIP Gordie.
I am so sorry that you lost your friend. Even though he was only a small part of this video, I felt an overwhelming urge to protect him even though I knew it was impossible. I could tell that he had a pure heart and a gentle soul, and it's heartbreaking that he knew he was close to death. I hope he's at peace now and is free of any pain he was in that caused him to choose that life. I'm glad to hear that you managed to get out and get clean, I hope it stays that way. 💜
Awe,Geordie, im sorry to all that knew him.He seemed like a great man.RIP for all i ternally
I was addicted to benzos for years… had my first dose of fentanyl from a Xanax… had passed out for 32 hours, woke up to police and first responders trying to get me back. Stay safe out there, please find the help! I’ve been clean 3 years now going strong!
@@deathdocuments6802 tapering off is the only safe way
Good for you! ❤️
Hey you! You're feet might be dirty but your heart is much cleaner.
“Had my first dose of fentanyl from a FAKE* xanax” you meant…
I died from Fentanyl but unfortunately they revived me
People nod out and then when someone says the word narcan they wake up instantly lol
Rest in paradise Gord. Your older brother, Jerry, is with you now. No more pain and no more suffering. May you both rest peacefully now❤️
I experienced the benzo cut dope and it was scary. I used for 5 years with no real memory issues but relapsed one last time and barely remember 18 months. I was trying to get clean so I UAd at lots of appointments and I was always positive for benzos & opiates despite the fact that I was only (to my knowledge) using heroin. I'm so happy to say that I have 5 years clean now.
I hope you give up drugs completely or it will be very dangerous
Stay strong and don't give up!
@@Relic_of_You yes
Well done,it's not our mistakes that define who we are,it's how we recover from those mistakes.Stay stong and enjoy life!
Congrats man.
I spent 15 years addicted to natural heroin and Xanax & never oded once. After just 2 years on fent I woke up from an od after being treated with narcan. Luckily I have been on suboxone since and I’m about to graduate with my degree in behavioral health and substance abuse. The streets are tough. But there is hope. Anyone that survives this epidemic is an effing miracle and has the potential to help so many who are still suffering. If you want help there are resources to help you. Please choose help. Please don’t use in solitude. Stay vigilant. Your life is precious 💜
proud of u :)
Where are you doing your degree?
How did you get off the xanax? how long were you on those?
How long do you stay on Suboxone?
@@benvpn8856 I was on Xanax and klonapin for atleast a decade. It got to the point that it caused more anxiety than it relieved. Getting off is not easy. But you can get off the benzos the same way you get off the opiates. Very very slowly. Tapering is the only way to get off without the risk of siezures. It’s best to shave off a tiny piece of your pill each time you take it, shaving off more and more each week. Wait till you are stabilized and then shave off more. Eventually you will be on such a small amount you can quit it all together. But this is not for a person who is still seeking a high to deal with their life. You must be ready to remove these barriers from your life and develop healthy coping skills in their place. There are lots of natural supplements like “ the velvet bean - macuna pruriens” than can effectively replace benzos. I have a KZhead channel called CAPABLE OF CHANGE that deals with such issues. Find me over there!! Good luck! 🍀
This show is so very heartbreaking. Even more so because it seems not many people even care whats going on. God bless all.
What in the hell makes a 13 year old start taking heroin? It’s extremely sad, that a child decides to take that horrific path.
trauma
Abusive parents or absent parents
Boredom, spirit of rebellion or peer pressure. Combined with, low self esteem and lack of direction and ambition.
Umm how is that big chick not arrested on the spot? Omg. 😂
I'm sober almost 9 months but was a fentanyl, carfentanil, and benzodope addict. This is such an important documentary and I'm so happy someone is speaking out about how scary the drug users experience is right now. I'd love to share some more of my story and experience, I've seen so much, saved so many people, lost so many friends, it's been a ride. Benzodope is particularly frightening as the withdrawal is nasty, narcan doesn't save you, and you lose days where anything can happen to you. It's so scary but I think the only way to fix this is inject a more safe supply into the market and try to offer more harm reduction efforts and treatment options. Stay safe, dont use alone
Keep strong - you have your whole life ahead of you!!!
Kyle - my prayers are with you - please fight on and help to save others. I lost my sister a number of years ago to drugs and I miss her every day. Those who lose loved ones are left living with the pain of loss. Again Kyle fight on and in turn help those who need it. Congratulations on 110 days . God bless you.
At some point and time, the average American is going to have to realize, that our leadership is behind has a lot to do with this drug epidemic, I was a drug addict for a long time, I have been clean since 2015. A few years ago I really start looking into the war on drugs, I found that our leaders, and officials profit more than the dealers and cartels, we are caught in the middle of a huge business. You should be really proud of yourself, I know how hard it is to make that climb, but Just hang in there, I promise you it’s worth everyday.
@@mark4m557 how do they profit off it, (also glad your clean🙏)
So when was the first time you realized that opiate withdrawal was not anything like you may have thought it was and you were now a slave? I remember sitting on my sofa about 12hrs after taking all my Norco 2 weeka early and wondering why I felt like I had the flu. Had no fucking idea that was only the tip of the iceberg or I'd have quit then
My brother in law died a few months ago from a fentanyl overdose. I had picked him up from jail a week prior, he was so full of life and was sober for the entire time he was locked up. We talked the whole way home and I saw just how happy he was to be out, but addiction is a different type of prison. He was an EMT/firefighter before he got hooked, but sometimes things just don't work out the way they should. I used to use drugs myself and we'd talk about ways for him to get better, I blame myself for not doing more to help him. Keep your family close because there's demons out there just waiting to take hold of em, I miss him and think of him every single day.
i feel ya dude. i lost my cousin and best friend due to the same exact thing. i think/talk about him all the time. hes was one of the people that everybody flocked to, and i miss his energy. RIP to all we've lost to this epidemic.
My prayers are with you 🙏 trust that he is watching over you... love and light from Australia Natcatx 🐈
Don't do no sh.t won't be no sh.t. it's that simple. I have no sympathy.
You couldn’t have done more. Hope your grieving is gentle!
@@indigomoon777 agreed, its a rough situation, and just being there for them was more than most people.
My daughter OD'd and aspirated,had a heart attack, respiratory failure, kidney and liver failure, septic shock and she lost 90%of her hearing. Hospitalized for 9 days 8 of those days ahhe couldn't eat because when she tried she would silently aspirate. She had to learn to walk again. She is 22 with the mindset of maybe a 16yr old.
Don't do drugs. Just don't do drugs. Doesn't matter what substance you use. This is what it will always look like
They are overrated too.
Watching Carrie take responsibility for where she is almost made me cry. She’s still a child. Addicted to heroin at 13. It’s too sad
Her father needs to take responsibility. Carrie's "lot of trauma" may have been molestation. 3/4 of his kids are dope addicts....
13 yrs old. I was still playing Go Rover and kissing boys in the woods. Poor baby.
Drug addicts are liars.. I don’t believe she started at 13… come on now
What kind of home life did Carrie have? And her dad had 3 kids that are addicts? How? What went wrong?
@@tobaccogetting3961 Sadly that isn’t uncommon
Man, I'm so glad that I've been lucky in life. I'm not rich or anything special but I have a quiet, peaceful life with kids in their 20s who are pursuing their careers and, apart from having some mental health issues, not causing me any great worry. My heart goes out to addicts and their families.
so true Carrie! Really makes you appreciate the things you have.
I'm from the GTA and understand the disaster that is fentanyl.The feds don't care
@@browner420 I believe you're right . Drugs are just another way to separate people . I frequently post the following when LEO's in this area make a "big show" with confiscated drugs and arrest the dealers . Cops & Robbers . Is how I see the Drug War .. Sadly, "some bodies" will step into their place it's the way the game works, cops & robbers . So the famous El Chapo is in the ADX Supermax prison in Colorado - So What ?? THE " DRUG GAME " still goes on ................. The "War on Drugs" is over 50 years old, only the "investors" win, losers get caught, and go to J A I L, or maybe, lose their life in a bad deal .. It's past time the "War on Drugs" changes, perhaps the USA will take a look at Portugal and follow their example .. The game: arrest . bond . court . judge . sentence . probation . recidivism Then again, what will happen to the game ? .. Cops & Robbers
I agree with what you have said except for having sympathy for addicts. I have zero sympathy for any addicts. I feel sorry for their families but not the addicts. I grew up in the rural California desert where meth was a rampant problem. I avoided it and raised my daughters, now in their 30s, to avoid the problem. They are raising my grand children to avoid the newest drug problems to the area. But I sure as hell am paying for the drug problem. I have had my shop broken into by junkies over the years that steal my tools. They break into my customers cars and steal things. Regardless of the amount I spend on security measures I still get ripped off. And it costs me money; thousands of dollars each year because I don’t want to collect on insurance and drive up my premiums. This is taking money from my family to fund the addicts drug problem. Why should I feel bad for addicts? And what do the police do? They can’t do anything because the courts in California believe that drugs are not a crime worth prosecuting. I am sick of funding the junkies habits. I have been called heartless, ignorant, even an a**hole for not being sympathetic toward addicts. How about those people open their wallets and pay for the junkies habits for awhile.
God bless u
This was an excellent article on the effects on Tranq👍🏽
Can't imagine what Kensington Philadelphia looks like today 😢
My mother passed 2 days before my 13th birthday from an overdose. The doctors fed her as much as they could for profit. Unfortunately i almost went down the same path, which recently i have opened my eyes too in the past few years. Im 21 now and my life is changing for the better day by day! My prayers go out to anyone battling or lost someone due to something so unfair!
Very glad to hear that 💙
Stay strong and away from this shite !! 💪🙏🧡 Gets easier never really ,a wee bit maybe . 17 years clean w/ 2 minor relapses here . But none for 7 + years n not looking back.
That is so good to hear, especially at your age. Life is a blessing, drugs abuse is a curse. I have a little over 5 years and life is so much better. I wasted so many years addicted. Please stay strong and do whatever you need to stay clean.
Sweetheart ❤ life can be so damn cruel😢… keep shining your beautiful light 🙏🏻💖🌟💖
Hi
I find it hard to believe a dealer would just openly advertise their identity Thanks for all these likes and the replies lol
yeah she’s sus af. especially how she said she takes all these people in and they all hang out there but her house seems rly nice and clean. something’s off
@@_sunchildd her house isn't that clean tbh
Prolly a user too
Likea yeah, who lets their face be filmed so easily.. Political statements much in the vid? Im not even versed in politics what more of a country im not even in. Doesn't heat above 98°reduce Benzodiazepine potency by 50% if not more pending on the type? And did this video just show the viewers how to order drugs online? Lol and they needed to do a piece on "Neo Narcos".. Sus..
It's a recreation! She's an actor you Absolute dummies . God yanks are thick
Damn thats so sad to watch. I was on fent too, it really is hell. It enslaves you completely, the pain of cold turkey is insane. Im so glad that i got into a morphine substitution program & im able to taper it of more and more. My Heart goes out to everyone that suffers from Addiction. Y’all ain’t alone ❤️
That's crazy dude I'm proud of you That's one of the hardest things I've ever heard of
How is she allowed to be on camera making drugs and still be safe from prosecution ? I don’t understand
I’m having trouble understanding how drug dealers appear on camera without hiding their faces or disguising their voices, even demonstrating how they make the drugs that kill the people they sell to and there’s no legal consequences.
Because the police are not collecting the people that look like her.
It's legal in most states now
@HamTeddy26 So that woman you guys are talking about is in British Columbia, and I'm fairly sure she is Native. Honestly, she's exactly the type of person the police here are looking for.
Yeah, it's not like drug dealers haven't been busted a few days after they were in a Vice video.. oops
@@HamTeddy26 this document is fake
There isn't a addiction crisis it's a crisis of hopelessness a society full of people with nothing to look forward to and nothing to lose true despair
Yeah my thought is there's a reason people are starting in the first place.
AGREED.
Definitely
Just got to suck it up and create your own hope don't wait for the world to do it for you.
how is first dealer not arrested immediately after this video?
They pay officials and cops to look the other way. They don't care.
You have to be caught with the drug in your possession surely, or you just say you were making a 'video on perils of these drugs ' and none of the ingredients or 'drugs ' were real . I'm not an expert on American or English law at all but that's what i would think. ✌️
@@LOBO68117I'm no expert either, but it seems to me that the feds would at least have "probable cause" to find her and keep an eye on her to see for themselves what she's doing
Canadian government doesn't care or want to stop the problem. Same with America
She seems so concerned yet selling drugs.
What I love about VICE is that they don’t “sugarcoat” these kind of docs! Keeping it raw is what it takes to educate today’s viewers.
They just found the new fancy sugar you get hooked to...😉🤫
@George Jones how do you make the circle to trump?
The times are becoming more evil and calamities more tumultuous. Get the holy bible and study revelation beginning with new testament because all your anxieties and worries will answered by doing so. Don't let yourselves be diverted by the dramas going on and hold fast to the moorings even if you encounter persecution/prosecution because only those who persevere will enter the kingdom of heaven. 2 Thessalonians 2:3-4 "Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there be a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition; Who opposes and exalts himself over all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sits in the temple of God; showing himself that he is God.
@@achimaufachse5925 hast recht Achim 🤣
They also show how the narcotics were produced, so others may learn from the video and become the next Walter White.
When I was a kid, I witnessed firsthand what drugs did to my family. I vowed to never touch anything that will alter my mind. Even today, I won’t even take prescription drugs. I tore my ACL and meniscus in the military, and they prescribed me 100 Percocet with a refill. Smh, I never took one. Instead, I chose to use an ice machine for pain management. To people who are affected by this disease, continue to push through. You got this! I’m rooting for you!
Amen!
@Jamal Crocker well, I recovered just fine. If the ice machine was enough to take my pain away, then why take meds? For anyone to be prescribed 100 pills at one time for an ACL injury is absurd.
You are a boss
I’m a nurse, I’ve fought with the VA countless times about their over prescription of narcotics. The way the VA acts is anything someone asks for they give it to them bc of the sacrifice they have made, they can ask for whatever- by name and get it. Maybe that’s just where I live but that’s been my experience. The VA hates my ass, I ask them many questions about WHY the reason for the refills and dosage, or even the reason for the rx for example giving so much adderall to someone with ptsd and anxiety.
Hell yeah that’s painful!!
This is heartbreaking...I am so glad I am where I am now in my life! On another note I cannot imagine letting the camera's inside cooking stuff up, smoking etc.
Proudly 9 years clean of hydromorphone, started injecting inter-muscular at 14. I have holes in my arms from injecting. Overdosed 2 times, on my second overdose is when I decided to quit. I quit at the right time cause the stuff on the streets is insane now! Recovery is always possible it just takes time!
this is one of the saddest docs ive ever seen. i am 17 months sober today actually. Im so glad Im not in this cycle anymore. i hope anyone suffering with addiction can get through it cause it is possible despite what our minds tell us.
She eats well hey
Congratulations on your road to recovery. Alot of our addiction is mind over matter. So tell yourself you don't need to use today.... everyday. Good luck
It certainly is a sad documentary. The producers could have enumerated the various persistent harms caused by current policy. And then they could have tasked some ambitious journalists (with help of some researchers- any OSINT folks looking for meaningful work?) to identify the entrenched interests that prevent those harms from attempts at remediation. And use their findings to build an unimpeachable case for why current policy is a failure, what needs to happen if we want better results. And, oh yeah, although it seems obvious, write down what the goal is at the start: Is it to continue to interdict enough drugs to make good PR and have Zero effect on the ground? Or is it to dramatically reduce OD deaths and dramatically increase the number of people who voluntarily seek treatment? Those answers matter. You’re welcome, VICE.
Congrats! I know it’s not easy but keep going ❤ you’re life is worth living
I'm trying to get there I'm begging God I'm begging my dr.s I'm begging anybody to pray and reach out to me.....love
My daughter became an addict when she was a teen, she was lured by a culture that glorifies substance abuse. The same culture that now so ignorantly and harshly passes judgement upon her and me. I am judged for helping, fixing or not helping or fixing. This sick child of mine won’t be helped, fixed or pushed I am judged for over-reacting and under reacting enabling and letting go. Most hurtful of all I am judged to be a mother who’s love for her child must have been flawed. When my child become an addict, I became a mother of an addict, a role that I was not prepared for and I certainly didn’t want. It is a role almost the whole world seams to have an opinion about, whether they know ANYTHING about addiction or not. Whatever I do or don’t do I am judged to be wrong. I no longer pay attention to that, I just keep on doing what I’m doing with love So judged tenderly if you must there is usually a side you have not herd, a story you know nothing about and a battle waged that you are not having to fight. So remember when some one makes a joke or laughs at an addict, remember that there is a mom out there crying herself to sleep and begging god to help her child. I am a mom of an addict, I have been through hell with my daughters addiction, I haven’t given up hope for her, but I have learned to love her from a distance. I can’t-do anything more for her except love her and pray for her.
Hey, my heart goes out to you, as an off and on heroin and coke/crack user ( 20 ) years with H and 23 years with crack, I can see how I've aged my own mother with the stress I put on her, especially in the first 10 years, I mean luckily I don't have a criminal record etc, but the empty promises, the lies, and blags the Christmas's I've ruined ,stealing etc has drained her and I can't ever give her back what I took over all these years.
@Kim Keller. Thank you for your brave response. Are you willing and/or able to offer some insight into what you feel were factors pulling your daughter towards this culture of the glorification of substance abuse? This is really where the hundreds of millions of dollars spent on the 'war on drugs' should be directed. It feels like the barn gates are being shut after the horse has already bolted!
My heart go's out to you Kim. From the day their child is born a parent starts living in a glass house, no one with a child should ever admonish another parent, for it could be their child next. I gave my nephew a roof over his head when my family turned their backs on him, I went to counselling with him and he did get clean, unfortunately he died from a drug related illness. You can only keep doing what you do, she's your daughter, don't listen to anyone other than your heart.
@@technomickdocumentalist2495 I wish my daughter didn’t have a criminal record, unfortunately she does, she has been to jail (I lost count how many times) she went to prison for 5 years and here we are in the same place we started from. She is back in jail right now and all I can do is be happy that she is there and not out on the streets killing herself. It is so hard for a parent to say “I’m glad my child is in jail” Someone may judge me for that, but what else is there to hope for? You are correct, it is VERY stressful, not just for the addict, but for the people who love them. I hope you can stay sober not only for yourself but for your mother and the folks who love you.
@@natanzel4 A lot has to do with what is presented on TV/Internet, a kid might have an “idol” then they find out they are on drugs, the kid thinks “they do it, it must be ok for me” My daughter was slightly above average student, she has told me that she knew it wasn’t “ok” to be on drugs, but she was curious because everyone else was doing them, and before she knew it she was an addicted. She wanted to go and get help several times, but no place would take her unless she had thousands of dollars to give them or insurance that would pay. REALLY??? How is an addict suppose to get a job to get insurance when no one will hire them because they have criminal records and most addicts are unable to work simply because they are looking for their “fix” every day so they don’t start going through withdraws. Does ANY addict have thousands of dollars just laying around in case they decide to get help??? NO All of my funds have been gone a long time ago trying to help her and thousands stolen from me that I’m sure she took for her addiction.
12:09 - 12:30 , crushed my heart into million pieces .. I hope this poison gets eradicated
So sad : 16 years old and OD's so many times that she can't remember ... :(
I don't think anyone who purposely sells Fentanyl as their main product can be considered an "ethical dealer"
Stop being racist.
Right?!? WTF?!?
Literally
But she only uses organic monk fruit sweetener
Yeah, a weird slant right?
A 23 year old friend of mine that had his whole life ahead of him just passed away from this BS.......10/27/2022 REST IN PEACE ENRIQUE 🙏
I’m so terribly sorry, that was only 6 days ago!! My sincerest condolences 💐.😢
RIP Enrique
Wow shes on film proudly showing her criminal activity wtf 😳
Its sad that government doesnt give this problem enough attention. The cost of opioid crisis is something unimaginable compared to other issues.
I'm glad I made it out of 25 years of opiate addiction I had a ridiculous tolerance to benzos and loved to mix them. Im so glad this wasnt around when I was in active addiction. Gods grace saved my life when he gave me my daughter and something to love more than the dope. My daughter saved my life. I cant say the same for all my friends that died to drugs. Over the years one by one I lost every single person I've ever known. I dont see friends at stores or get surprise phone calls anymore, they are all dead. I thank God for the 2nd chance at life he gave me and I strive to be the best dad i can be. My daughters mom is still in active addiction, I'm now divorced and a single dad. I have custody of my daughter now. (That's rare in Pennsylvania!) Gods grace in action.
I have a close lifelong friend...best friend rather, and more like a brother of mine who shares your experience posted above ^ literally to a "T" with the only difference between everything you described being he had a son instead of daughter....congrats on pulling through and stay strong man. I want to tell you though, just as I've told him several times....which is to give yourself more credit in what you've achieved, been through, and gotten out of as sure the children gave each of you that necessary push of motivation and selfless reason to go clean, but a lot of addicts have multiple kids and continue using without even a whiff of change or care given .. you've gotten to where you are because you're a human being living in a completely rotten civilization and depraved society aka America the big bright red n blue busting bodacious bootylicious whore that she's so proudly become unfortunately, but showed you still have dignity, character, a backbone, standards, morals, humbleness, care, responsibility to still strive to be a decent man and a good father in a time we're in where fathers and leader's and role models are so badly needed, but very few are around to even give a damn to even care enough to try. Just a random rant I had to get out there and maybe something you've never considered about yourself but credit you deserve and should recognize. God bless and take care and continue on positive path
God Bless You bro!! I love you!! Stay strong and stay happy my brother, God is amazing indeed, I've been there, 30s, 20s, 15s, 10s, I've never done Heroin but I was sold a fake K9 30 that had fentanyl in it, it got me soo high and I had a really high tolerance for oxycodone I could take 6 30s no problem and then three hours later I take another 6 like it ain't shxt, its really fxcked up, I love hearing stories like yours, they keep me strong, they keep me motivated to do better, I love you bro!! I hope your daughters mom gets clean and moves on!! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!
God bless you both 🙏
Keep up the good work, for you and your daughter. Uoward and onward
Praise God!
I started out with pills due to a car accident. Once I no longer could get prescription medication for my pain I turned to the streets like many do. It went from heroin, to fentanyl and then to fentanyl/xylazine. I’m lucky to have made it out alive and I can only hope and pray those that are still lost find their way. I thank God every day for still having an opportunity to carry on and make the necessary changes to make it in this world. Just don’t forget that these are people, they didn’t ask for this. Be kind, be compassionate and love on another because life is so short.
Why did u need more prescription for your pain? Was the pain still there after you were placed off prescription. I'm still wondering why and how people get addicted to pain killers and resort to other drug use. I still don't understand why I'd want to be knocked out of consciousness, even the feeling of alcohol overdose is awful and I don't want to feel that way ever again.
Benzodiazepines work for a few months, but the body builds up a tolerance to it extremely quickly, to the point where they need it just to feel normal, and the withdrawal effects are so intense that at its worst you wouldn't even be able to put one foot in front of the other to walk, that's how bad it is, you can die from the withdrawal effects, the heart just can't take the pressure..
That dealer was high af on her own supply.
Rest In Peace Gordon. My love died in March from a mix of these drugs after a rehab stay and detox. He felt the pressure to get off maintenance when his mind wasn’t ready for him to be completely off of everything so he tried to balance with benzos n fentanyl he was found by a coworker on the floor gurgling, they thought he was going to snap out of it and left him alone for too long.. came back to him non responsive. They got his heartbeat back but he had too much brain damage and he was declared dead by the hospital March 3rd 2022 after the incident on mon feb 28th. I will miss him always and he was everything to me. These are not just addicts these are people struggling with a disease. Please help us.
Sending you love, strength, and hope ♥
You have to stop. It's all a choice and its up to you to become sober. Not just some bullshit CA sober. I mean 100% sober. You can do it.
Jesus is the ONLY way guys please REPENT OF YOUR SINS AND ACCEPT HIM AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR
choosing death over life with each hit. And if it is truly a disease, then it's terminal. Best to accept that these pathetic souls can only ever be addicts and no amount treatment will save them. Help and efforts, even empathy is wasted on heroin/benzo addicts.
@@hadassahimmanuel1727 Amen
If you want to get rid of the drug problem, you need to make sure kids have better childhoods, the majority of drug addicts are victims of horrendous crimes as children, specifically sexual crimes. I was repeatedly raped as a child. I fight everyday to not alter my consciousness because of the horror and terror I experienced as a child. I envy the ones who over-dose. They are no longer suffering.
Not just making sure kids have better childhoods, but educating them on how to work thru trauma - no matter how difficult - rather than dulling the trauma with drugs and other vices. That's why Kendrick's new album is so important.
It would also help to provide assistance to adult survivors and people with mental issue, which is, just about everyone these days.
id smoke so much bud, aready dew, but would easily do also too much of everything else, my childhood was fine, props to u 4 your strength that bad past sh!t don't define u
There's no easy answer. Not every addict grew up rough. Yes, that may answer for a bulk of serious users. But drug abuse is a pandemic.
Pie 🥧 in the sky turns out to be miles too high! *❤️
But there's no way her neighbors aren't going to tip off police about the drug house next door.
The fathers response was FACTS! Should be charged with MURDER!
Holy. Hell. Makes my boring little life look like a fairytale. The plight of these people is heartbreaking, and I hope that society finds a way to eventually not be so self-destructive. This documentary is an absolute mandate for me, personally, to never complain or feel bad for myself, because I simply have no problems in light of these things.
Watch documentaries about Brazilian or African slums, no out reach programs, ethical dealers, or welfare. No needle exchanges or homeless shelters. At least the weathers usually warmer I suppose. On the flip side, saying you have no problems in light of these things and you will never complain again is foolish. You or a loved one could get cancer tomorrow. Or murdered.
@@OliHandy2008 I get what you mean, but at least it would be a sudden catastrophe as the end of an otherwise good life, with bright sunshine, brisk mornings, good coffee, clear headedness, and easy, simple pleasures. It's been a good time so far, and while it could certainly fall apart tomorrow, or even end, it's nevertheless a life without this particular type of gratuitous hell. Anyway, be well and all the best! 🙂
I know what you mean, I have chronic illness and still I watch documentaries like this and feel lucky for what I do have. Love, family and my sanity ( just lol) a roof over my head and yes good coffee is nectar. Sending love from Spain 💜🦋
It is such a quiet thing to see society fall. Far more terrible is the idea for some to accept it.
Lol. It’s their choice. Stupid.
Lost my 1st born son at 21 years last year. He graduated top of his class, could naturally play any instrument he laid his hands on, and was a premed student. Covid shut down his school, he got a warehouse job and started "experimenting". Because of a hole in his heart between chambers that everyone has developing in womb and 25% of population does not close this hole, when his heart rate dropped too low, it affected him differently. He never had a chance when he smoked that foil of Fentanyl. I feel so robbed. He will forever be part of the 1st 100k OD death in a year statistic. And all this coming down the pipe is so much worse. Wake up people, we are under attack. God help us all.
My deepest condolences 😢🙏🏽❤️
@@daughterofeveandhateroflil2683 Thank you. I try and thank God for the 21 years I was blessed with him rather than allow myself to be angry or despondant, but I am only human and it can be very difficult sometimes.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for your Peace. Keep speaking on it.
😔🙏❤
I’m so very sorry
Heartbreaking misery thrives on those streets.
great job, and great reporter.. keep up the good work
I watched my sister go from a very pretty girl who graduated HS with a 4.0 to someone I didn't even recognize by the end. I still get emotional thinking about it but the silver lining is it got me to quit drinking and I was able to salvage my relationship with my son. The thing that makes me angry is she got most of her poison from a actual doctor.
I am so sorry. My husband lost his brother to coke.
A lot of cases start from doctors prescribing their patients with drugs.. it’s sad and I’m so sorry for your sister.. I hope she’s doing better..
Happening everywhere . Wish you were immune though.
❤️🙏😞
Opposite here. Losing my sis, the only person in my family that remotely understood lgbtq+ matters died, I took up drinking. I feel pretty doomed with the whole thing, but I'm looking on the bright side and trying to not think about her too much. She would probably punch my face if she saw what has become of me.
If we really want to fight the drug epidemic...we need to start by unconditionally loving and supporting our children and youth. Almost all addicts started using drugs as a means to cope with trauma and abuse...usually from childhood. Better Parents = Happier Children = Less Drug Use
Truth
I agree. Teaching children how to process emotions goes a lonnnng way. When you don’t know how to emotionally or mentally cope with things, and you come upon a substance that takes it all away, why wouldn’t you keep going to it? Mental health still needs to come leaps and bounds before it makes a dent in this epidemic.
@@flowersinmyhair55 they need to learn how to control the mind because they dont know… people don’t know how to control it. In Vedic culture ISKCON we teach how to control it very easily😊
Luna, your spot on. Child abuse often leads to those same kiddos use drugs to "cope", my prayers 🙏 for everyone needing it. The daily addiction is a minute by minute struggle for the ones addicted to alcohol and drugs. PRAYERS 2022 FOR ADDICTS.
People need to be educated enough to understand their own mental processes and be able to take care of themselves, you are right emotional maturity goes a long way, but its hard to expect that from a child.
The way that guy sais he knows he's probably gonna die soon from his addiction send chills down my spine. The fact that this drug is not only sucking your life out of you but also your will to live is unbelievably scary to me. Insane what chemicals do to your brain.
Make sure everyone is comfortable. It makes them want to get treatment.
I beat addiction but it still ripped my life apart. I lost my dad to complications from addiction, 2 years later I lost my brother to an OD. 2 years after that I lost my sister to it. In between those, I lost over 2 dozen of my closest friends. Something needs to change.
Adam i am so full of your feelings for your great lost. Please. Dont ever go trying any drug. .your hurt i can't imagine but than again i can i lost my 21 yr.old grandson from this nightmare fentanyl. ) he took it a half of pill to beable to sleep he had severe pain in his neck the Doctors called it a tick no control over it i would watch him suffer in day time. It would hurt me so bad seeing this no one Knows another ones pain. God bless you Adam. Stay safe ill be praying for you.and all who need prayers on this phone. GOD BLESS GOD the one who's name is JESUS.
@@paulmorgan62 I have done something similar. My oldest son was old enough to be able to understand so he seems very against drugs to begin with. My youngest will see it too, I'm sure. I always talk to them and explain things thoroughly so they understand. I'm around my son's every minute of every day. We have no friends or family and the neighborhood we live in isn't exactly the best so they have never had to go to a babysitter or anything like that and I'm glad. No bad habits to pick up and they are never in situations that could scar them. I don't think drugs are going to be a problem but, better safe than sorry.
Thank you Patricia. Faith is something I struggle with. I have been writing and trying my best to get a TV show off the ground but I keep hitting walls. It's mostly financial issues due to having to pay people to pay attention. I have been asking for help and direction but I feel abandoned by God. All I can do, my strongest traits are humor and writing. Physically, I can't be on my feet for 8 hours and I have some health issues. Writing is one of the few things I can do and I have asked God, my dead family and friends....nothing yet. So all I can do is keep moving forward and staying clean. The second I use, it's all over. I need to do this for my own happiness and my family's well being.
I’m truly sorry for your loss Adam. Stay the course and stay strong. You do matter. Love from 🇨🇦
Don't take drugs, simple.
My ex wife is a victim of this addiction. She lost her entire family to opioids and finally graduated to consuming meth. The people that she got caught up with and the situations she gets herself into is a disgusting and dangerous nightmare.
My brother was addicted to meth can totally relate.
Who enabled her ?
At least your not married. It is hard when you care and it hurts. God bless you
Your not a victim if you are making your own choices.
@@gowdsake7103 Do you mean who helped her live?
This made me so sad. I have only one child, just turned 18, we tried to have her for 5 years before conceiving. We think shes on meth. Her behavior is erratic, shes lost a ton of weight and has all the red flags. We are going through pure hell. This doesnt give me hope. Keisha, you are not helping.