When you've lost the will to do what you need to do
Life is getting harder, and it can feel absolutely exhausting to do even the most basic of activities.
This is due to the finite nature of willpower and our constant battle against high-stimulation activities, especially smartphones.
To regain control you have to take charge of your inner ecosystem.
Let's talk about that.
Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.
mailchi.mp/90ccaf44c876/self-...
Get my book: For When Everything is Burning
bit.ly/forwheneverythingisbur...
Connect with me on TikTok:
/ dr.scott.eilers
Hear the Podcast:
bit.ly/PsychologyOfDepression...
What you'll find in this video
00:00 The Feeling of Losing Time and Control
Life can often feel overwhelming, making you feel like you're losing time and control over your own life. This sensation is due to various factors, and there's a way to regain some control over your daily experiences.
03:31 The Role of Willpower in Decision-Making
Willpower is a finite resource used to make choices among available activities. When your willpower is depleted, you tend to resort to activities that require minimal effort and provide instant gratification. Understanding the role of willpower is crucial for managing your daily choices effectively.
07:02 The Impact of Smartphones on Willpower
Smartphones offer constant access to highly stimulating activities, making it challenging to resist their allure. The pervasive availability of these devices can drain your willpower and leave you feeling exhausted by the end of the day.
10:38 Setting Limits on Smartphone Usage
To regain control over your life and make daily activities more enjoyable, consider setting limits on smartphone usage. You can either remove troublesome apps or establish specific timeframes for phone use, allowing other aspects of your life to become more engaging.
14:29 Taking Charge of Your Inner Ecosystem
While external factors are beyond your control, you can take charge of your inner ecosystem. By managing your smartphone usage and making deliberate choices, you can create a more fulfilling daily experience and reduce the feeling of constant exhaustion.
I'm not worn out from one day, I'm worn out from YEARS of battle and I just avoid, avoid and avoid again.
it takes too much psychological energy
30 years as a first responder..I'm tired
I label myself...The Queen of Avoidance!
@@garth217If that’s not draining I don’t know what is!!
I feel this so hard
Depression is not a sign of weakness. Depression is a sign of having been too strong for too long.
Hmmm, interesting definition. I can see your point. Definitely seems like it could be ONE of the reasons.
My husband says I am a weak person. He doesn’t believe in depression. My mom always said I was a strong woman.
@pambeni5635 Depression is real. 30 plus years as an aviation professional took its toll. The responsibility finally became too much.
@@pambeni5635the problem is the conflicting ideas within yourself. Your mom probably hasn't let you feel your downs and called you strong thinking she's doing you a favour. Your husband focuses on your weakness. Instead of listening to them try to look inside and see and embrace both parts. With some things, you can be weak, with others - you can be strong. Try not to label yourself but rather see your actions.
That is a statement I can agree with. Having to remain strong while adverse conditions continue on and on, it only takes one straw to buckle. Buckled!! Fought like hell to get back to semi normal, no prescriptions, no family, friends or support system. God, my dog and me. I’m pleased to say, I’m back with a whole lot of information to maintain.
All I want to do is sleep. It’s a release from the pain. And when I, awake I’m soooooo exhausted can barely function
Exactly 💯
I know how it feels. I've been dealing with it for 20 years. I always feel like I need to sleep but can't 😢. Life goes by without meaning.
So true I was thinking the same. They say sleep is supposed to refresh hmm not in my world
I had to retire because of so much arthritis pain. I thought if I retired I’d feel better. But then my wife’s health went bad, now I have to take care of her. I can’t do anything I planned to do in retirement, because my wife can’t hardly move, and I’m in pain. There is no treatment or counseling that can treat that kind of depression.
I have been there and was there for about 3 years. 😢 I finally found my way out but not sure how. I think my brain just broke and I got used to how shitty my life has become and accepted it or something. Not sure because my life didn't get easier, I just became less miserable. Still not like when I was say 28, lol.
There were so many times when the smallest kindness kept me going.
Yes. I thanked our block's fire alarm tester today. Because I had to be up for something else. Unusually. Let's thank people 🎉
You start striving for simple interaction.
I'd have to agree w/ that. The smallest little thing, when we are this pathetic and struggling. I try not to let it amplify how pathetic I've gotten, and try to focus on gratitude.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 I've heard someone say don't strive to be happy or decide that if you're not happy that you aren't doing well. Maybe just feeling neutral is ok. Start with neutral.
@@michaelpaul721 Oh sure, neutral is much better than deeply miserable and struggling for every hour. I try and notice and be grateful for being neutral if it happens. Feeling peace is wonderful, even if happiness isn't there too. My goals are damn modest these days. Thank you.
As a broke person dealing with depression on my own for the past 7 years, you have no idea how much i appreciate your videos. Hugs.❤ and thank you so so much.
Hugs to you. Being in pain is one thing, being in pain in isolation is another. 🍀✌️
Being broke is depressing. I’ve struggled with it my entire life. I’m 58.😕
This npc thing sounds like why i was so easily taken advantage of after my divorce.
Your comment hit me like a ton of bricks. I literally paused and asked myself "wait. Did I write this?". I've been dealing with depression and PTSD and anxiety for 8 years due to a disabling work accident and I've been married and have tried to live and keep going for surgeries and so many different types of therapy and the pandemic really hit my marriage and it's been on shaky ground for two many years now but Tuesday night my "husband" brought this woman into MY house to BS me for awhile and asked me why he was at a bar and for 5 months she thought he was single and all of a sudden she finds out he's not and we're just friends but I'm a Christian and I felt like whatever he said about you never leaving the house and other BS all while I've been sick for weeks and meds haven't really helped and our 4 cats are suffering from something maybe allergies but I can't take them to our vet because he's not even in his clinic for 2 weeks and other vets don't want to see them which is BS and wrong and then he brings this woman in to talk for him and he said he needs to go its time. He took care of me but I didn't take care of him when he caught COVID twice and everyone I see and talk to know that's all lies and he was basically Trump and didn't give AF about spreading it to me and it doesn't kill people and it's a 2 week paid vacation for contracting Kungflu. I took care of him. So, I have been dealing with everything by myself and now it's apparently going to be completely alone and somehow survive on SS disability which I'm paid almost nothing and lose everything I built and everything we built.
Please know you are not alone. 😊
It feels especially hard when you have had depression since childhood because you just don't remember a normal, fulfilling life without depression. So there's no reference to go off of. At that point, depression is your life and you just have to find ways to lessen the effects it has on your day to day.
Right there with you. For me the ONLY time I feel best is when I am on vacation away from problems in a nice environment 😌
@@Yolduranduranchronic depression doesn't disappear unless the root issues are solved one by one. And treatment only seems to alleviate some of it. If a vacation was all that was needed it would be prescribed more. Not everyone has the option to temporarily "get away" either, even if it temporarily helped. Not to be negative but not everyone's depression is that easy to treat.
@@chey7691 of course it will not fixed depression, it gives much needed respite from it
They said this is when they feel best, not that their depression is gone.
@Yolduranduran my family goes on 1 vacation a year and I was really looking forward to it this year and was determined to enjoy it no matter what. The whole week derailed and I spent most of it driving and helping to deal with a family member's medical issues. It was so bad that I could not salvage any of the vacation because I was too stressed and tired. It took MONTHS to recover from the disappointment I felt because I really needed to have that break 😩
I just want to get a group of depressed people like me and just cry together. We deserve people who feel the same pain
😂💯😅
@@BeautifulOnes876that's not funny 🙄
I wish the same thing. Life has been hard. I’m 64 and out of will power. I just want to give up. I lost my son to schizophrenia and suicide. I’m raising his son and this week sending him to a long term psych facility for mental illness. I really can’t deal with anymore loss. I also need a group of friends to cry and laugh with.
@@horsegonewild keep your head up. I’m life is hard as hell, but in reality it only gets worse and seems worse because of our mindsets and outlook on life :( Ik it’s hard to be positive when you’ve been through so much, but you deserve to do whatever it is that puts a smile on your face ❤️ keep being the hero, don’t give up 🫶
I feel the same way,,,wish I had some safe place and safe people to hug and talk with.....
It's so hard when you feel you know why you are so depressed and unhappy but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Sometimes it helps to accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can. It's hard though.
I understand. My husband has cancer and I cannot stop this process. I love him very much and cannot imagine my life without him.
@@bobbieriales8764 I just lost my husband to cancer 10 months ago. It has been the hardest 10 months of my life. He was my soulmate and I feel totally lost and empty without him. You will be in my prayers.
This is how I am feeling every day . Thank you for sharing
I'm stuck at this point too, very depressed a long time and it just is. Tried a lot of things and it's dragging on 2 years now. Don't know what to do anymore. Doctor put me back on an antidepressant, but it barely worked last time, so finally went off it. Having a hard time adjusting to it again, but just started. Afraid to hope anything will help, as I had a few false starts where I thought it was lifting, but then it came back super heavy. It gets harder the longer it is, esp. w/ no real hope.
I’m a therapist in Texas and I have to tell you that I’m so proud of you for making videos that talk about the real shit that people go through. You’re really strong and courageous to share your own personal journey with your clients and viewers. I hope that more and more therapists start becoming honest about their own personal human struggles… Because it takes all of the power dynamic away between client and therapist. Such a relief. Thank you so much!
Nearly every human except for the most affluent, megalomaniacal narcissists is essentially a slave, and it definitely wears upon the soul. Ultimately, people must comprehend that their remaining hours are limited. Once an individual's 12th hour (yes) rolls on in, it'll be WAY too late for them to accomplish whatever it is they'd once hoped to do or to be. 🙂 It is what it is. "Time is the only resource for which no creature may bargain..." --DD1 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
Do it in your business and people will relate to you better.
You lost credibility your first sentence. Educated therapist? Nope!
I don't necessarily need to "relate" to my therapist's story. I just need them to listen to me & provide me with strategies/ solutions/ conversation.
Amen to that!
I'm 68 and have been divorced 20 years after 22 years of marriage and raising 5 kids, my youngest son moved out over 4 years ago. Living alone has caused me severe anxiety and mild depression. Doesn't matter what I do, where I go, who visits or who I visit, life is very lonely for me in living alone. I don't want to cook or even bother eating most days. Living alone for me is extremely hard and kills the desire to do anything anymore. I've watched a million YT videos, movies, reading, walking my dog etc. I just can't find joy in anything anymore. I've just lost interest in life basically, it's just repeat, repeat, repeat. The mental exhaustion is real and extremely draining.
I'm in the same boat as apparently are many others. It seems the main cause of the depression epidemic is lack of purpose / meaning. Kids or no kids doesn't seem to matter a lot, people need some significant, personal mission. I think also the lack of real community and separation from nature is causing huge problems. "primitive" societies today not only have the healthiest and longest life spans, but also no word for depression as it basically doesn't exist. Sorry, I'm rambling I guess, just some thoughts, maybe something there might click with you. I wish you the best.
oh honey,I'm sorry I understand. technically I'm married,but I feel like marriage has been over for 3yrs ...
I understand exactly what you are saying. And have felt the same way for the past 5 or 6 years, and especially after the whole "C" Where my family basically divided into their respective corners and now no longer associate with each other. Some days I just remind myself to keep breathing. And that there is still hope that things will get better.
What about hot sex do you like that still?
Take in a boarder. Go and volunteer at an animal shelter.
I'm 62, I have grandsons who totally ignore me because they were raised playing video games and looking at their phones constantly. They never EVER call me nor wish me Happy Birthday. I have tried and tried being close to them but they are too self centered to even care. I have gone to all of their birthday parties, given them gifts and money. One is 20 now and the other is 16. I wish I could have had the grandmother experience and that is one thing that depresses me. Maybe its just the way it is, and maybe alot of others grandparents feel neglected too.
I’m sorry. ❤
@@XiangXiang..657 Thank you. ❤️
You are not alone I assure you. Xxx
Pull back and put your energies elsewhere! Give service to those in need and can appreciate you. Your G children may notice your absence and reach out. If not, then they don't deserve your love or attention. Family or not, invest time and care in those, who invest in time and care for you. You deserve nothing less!! 🌸🌸🌸🙏🙏🙏
@angelaallen2190 I think your comment pulled at many reader's heartstrings. I am nearly 60 now, and by the time I was 13, had no more grandparents. My 2 grandfathers had passed away before I was even born. I wish I had grandparents through my teen years, and know that if I had, my rough personality would have been softened and I would have been more pleasant, compassionate and empathetic at a younger age. Instead, for the first 3 decades of my life, I was deep into my own issues and trauma. I hope you you, that your grandkids realize that the possibility of having you in their lives is a gift that they will only have for a finite time.
the joy has gone out of my "doing". The things I loved to do... cooking, baking, gardening, painting, social activities, even cleaning windows. now, my get up and go has gone. .
Same here. Then I feel bad that my joy is gone and blame myself.
Ditto. Used to find enjoyment in those things, even while living alone. Beginning with my last divorce I've been taking a mild antidepressant for many years. My doctor recently increased the dosage. I'm beginning to think its making me feel worse. Numb and bored. Took the fight right out of me.
It's always the same ol story. Folks get caught up in lazy habits. "Put 1 foot in front of the other." It always works and you're always glad you did. The other key is to change everything habitual you do from the time you awaken. To get out of your habitual comfort zone, because it is a lie and you hate it. When you awaken for the first hour do anything but drink that caffeine. Do anything except turning on a device. Get dressed immediately for, well it doesn't matter. Drink two bottles of water within the 1st hour. It makes a huge difference and tells your body and brain that you're ready to go. If you're still procrastinating, put one foot in front of the other and walk out of that gawd forsaken door. Just keep walking. When you come back, the whole procrastination thing will be gone. Once you get that blood circulating at a faster rate, your body tells your brain, let's go. Caffein is fake. It's your worst enemy. It brings you back to shit level by mid-day or early afternoon. Pound more caffein gets you nowhere, except poor sleep adding to the problem. Caffein has a half-life of 6 to 7 hrs. Meaning it damages your deep sleep. Deep sleep is extremely important for your mental capacity and decision making.
I feel like a stranger in a strange land, and it keeps getting harder and harder to juggle the balls....
A lot of us are those same people
I would like to play in the sandbox. Am in my 70 ‘s
Same. I wish everything would just pause for a min. The shut down during pandemic was my happy place.
@@judyrussoniello1497 go for it!
@@user-he8fy2iy9s yeah, things getting way too hectic
What do you do when you no longer want to live but you have people you can’t leave behind on their own?
Oh 😢 same here
That’s my situation exactly.
I'm right there too😢
Same
Wait till they get older and are independent or they are able to get help elsewhere then once they don’t really need you then do it especially if you over 50 and don’t have much money or poor quality of life
I had to limit watching the news; the endless array of terrible problems beyond my control was literally making me sick. Quitting TV, internet, video games, and allowing only KZhead for social media sure was helpful. Staying physically and mentally active sure helps, too, along with a good diet.
Onerider@ Totally agree with you! The quality of the "news" is nothing like it used to be. Seems to me that the worst angle, the most provocative angle, the most cynical angle, is taken on everything. Columnists, Opinion writers, Commentators, Editors, they chew up good stuff, they ignore anything that is achieving progress, and they doubt everything that crosses their path. I dont mean that we should not acknowledge what is wrong. I mean that media presents facts with a contextual framework that causes relentless FEAR 😨 in those receiving it. Yes, things are happening that are bad. But it ought not incapacite us. Look at citizens in London, United Kingdom, during World War II. Bombed during the blitz. Hungry due to shipping being disrupted. Cold during bad weather. For men, conscription into the Armed Forces. For women, do everything else that needed doing because the men were fighting. And no sign of success. Dark days. Dark times. Did the media of the day TERRIFY everyone? Depress everyone to the point where they would stop even trying? No. The opposite. Bad news was delivered straight. And always tempered with common sense, and with the strength of a collective purpose. A unifying stand against adversity. What has happened since then? Our collective sense of living in a society has been politicised and fractured. We've lost our place. We've lost our confidence that we can make the changes that will soon be demanded of us by a broken environment.
Majority of news is fake.. turn of your television. People were happier when they didn't have black cubes indoctrinating and brainwashing us. Go outdoors.
Yeah tv and social media just fills your head with bull$hit
Fr besides hopelessness, it also makes me beyond angry... also youtube makes me angry, seeing how many people watch opinions of others instead of working on their own life... Why some people care about all these yt videos tf... Starting to hate people but almost as much as my own brain
@@d.5688 but these people aren't smart enough to make up their own opinions
At 73, I never dreamed I would end up addicted to KZhead and yet, here I am. I will take you advice under advisement. Pray for me?
Many old people watch tv all day, I know my grandma did. I‘d say it’s pretty normal imo
I’m 74. A lot has happened in my life I never dreamed would happen. It’s pretty normal when we’ve been alive for a long time. I think if you’re enjoying KZhead then it’s fine to be doing it, however, if watching KZhead is making you feel uncomfortable, like you’re wasting the time you have left to be alive, then maybe do other activities and KZhead as well. It has just occurred to me that maybe you were joking when you said ‘’ Pray for me ?’’ Dr. Scott’s response seemed a bit tongue in cheek, talking about his grandma watching tv all day. He goes on to say it’s pretty normal. No, I don’t think it is what all us old timers are doing. I really hope both you guys were just joking around.
@katherineelizabethco hi. And no, I don't joke about prayer. I'm trying to re-enter a life of doing chores, etc, after unsuccessful back surgery. I need to rise above the pain and DO something. Hubby does it all. He needs a partner not a leech.
@@grammysapeep9013 You see this is an example of the way what we post on social media can be misunderstood. If we would have had this conversation in person my reaction to it would have been different. I’m sorry your back surgery was unsuccessful. You were being serious after all. I wonder if the person who replied to you knew the truth of what you were saying. I think they didn’t, because it would have been heartless. Please take care. I will say a little prayer for you right now.
@@grammysapeep9013Look up the Earthing documentary on KZhead. If you can get grounded for at least 20-30 minutes a day you will be amazed as your pain melts away. All you need is to have your bare hands and feet planted on the ground to create a circuit that will reset your entire body.
I’m 51. I’m just tired of everything.
Me too. I''m 50.
52 and I'm right there with you!
Me too
Same too much things going on in the world gets me down.
55. Kind of there too
People like me who "slip through the cracks" because we outwardly appear to be coping, but privately struggle just to keep going... for me every day is a challenge as I'm technically (and invisibly) homeless and also technically (and invisibly) disabled, but I really try to keep seeking beauty in life's experiences as often as possible to give me reasons to keep living....
Your resilience is impressive, my dear. It's not easy to be homeless and not appear homeless, or to have a disability and hardly anyone can even tell. It's not easy by any means. You deserved to be treated better thus far in life... the investment in yourself, of your time and energy, that is the beauty. Maybe no one has told you, but I'll say it. You are loveable, capable, beautiful, and worth so much more than you realize. ❤ Best wishes!
@Jean-xo3hl aw that's so lovely thank you! 🙏💗
We must be related!😘
In the same boat , at times I get so scared and am so so lonely... My dogs are my everything I have 1 son and 2 grandchildren I child is across the planet and the other Grandchild with his Dad ...I put on a big big front for them and with my part time job I'm allowed to have ...My heart is so broken I also have hidden disabilities and a survivor of many crimes against me .including medical and also by LEO... I am not what you call good company. I speak the truth and I don't sugar coat ..I don't have any friends but do have accaintances My sisters x3 Do not understand me and judge me harshly and have opinions along with other family members most are narcissists s ...I have indured 3 sucides Husband, Adopted Sister , Uncle, also have tried sucide in my teenage years ..after teenage life I found saltice in drinking and drugging clean for over10 years now.. Got remarried andMy second husband was in a horrendous accident and also passed My 3 Rd husband was just recently diagnosed with cancer ..lots of struggles and hardships along the way to where I am today 63 ....I do want to b clear my son and grandson are still a big part of my life ...Just I have my dogs who are so dam loyal and need me and give me unconditional love. I guess whoever has a pet will understand what I mean.... Life can be very very difficult and lots of times I have crawled into bed and stayed in dark room under the blankets contaplating life...I am scared to think about the future I also struggle fincially all my life....
@@cherylschumaker1366Cheryl, I am SO sorry for what you have endured. I'm sorry that you are lonely. You sound like a smart, grounded individual. Keep it up! I'm glad you have your dogs!! Sending you a hug from Dallas 🫶🏼 p.s. give your dogs a hug for me, we can't have pets due to severe allergies 😭 take care!
I honestly think what really has made me depressed and unable to cope in the last couple of years, is the fact that the countryside around me has been developed and there is nowhere to be amongst nature. I grew up surrounded by fields and woods, have lived in small city for many years but had access to the countryside if I felt like going for a walk nearby. I crave the sights, sounds and particularly the smell of woods and fields. I am sure many people do not realise how important nature is, even if you didn't grow up in that environment.
I can't be bothered to do anything, these days! I'm 75 and have always worked both inside and outside the home. Twice divorced, I am living alone (apart from my 2 dogs) and on antidepressants. I think the state of the world and all the rising costs have heightened my anxiety, and I find it difficult to engage with anything, anymore. 😖🇬🇧
Living alone is very hard. No one near to care. I hope you get better.
Sending love from the 🇺🇸
You must be a KD Lang fan!
Me too! I can totally relate!
Me too!!!
Sometimes, all I can use my willpower to do is stay alive. The older I get the less willpower I can summon.
I stopped making to do list and started making lists of what i did accomplish. It really works well for me
💡! That is a great idea, thanks for sharing 👍
This, yes! I find this helps me immensely
@@evadebruijn I hope you find it helpful too.
I started this also. I put my basic must do things down (try and keep it to 2-3) and then add to it as the day goes on.
Discipline. Consistency. Deadlines. Creativity. Reflection. Repeat. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
I found you yesterday while searching "Why can't I do anything?" For someone who can't seem to get out of bed, or see a reason to do anything anymore, they need help now and don't have time to just find a doctor and wait for the appointment and 6 months to a year later, hope it helps. I'm binge watching you now. Thank you. This is a real service to humanity.
Hang in there. Here Comes The Sun! Spring must follow winter. Day must follow night. Life is all cycles and there are no bottoms without peaks. It's probably started to shift already but you haven't detected the change in momentum yet. The second derivative of your equation is positive!
Get some coffee and pretend ! If you already do coffee stop for a couple weeks then go back ! Lol
Lets win souls for JESUS CHRIST🙏 Its the message GOD🙏 is wanting us to do.. seek and focus on HIM.. call a friend your best friend❤️
I agree and can relate to you. I am binge watching this awesome, caring, Communicator myself... I am 77 and a widow. God's speed to you my dear.
After losing my lovely wife suddenly 5 months ago after 47 yrs, I just cannot see me enjoying life ever again, I go for a 2 hr walk nearly daily in Clumber park but its just endless walking, It's the worst I've ever felt, It never ends oneday it will thankfully.
I think most are feeling this way with all that is going on in the world .
You are better than most therapist charging 100+ an hour and you are giving us these small sessions for free. May God bless you greatly and ease your mind and heart whenever you need it most.
You break free from your smartphone/apps/social media just to realize you are alone, everybody around you is on it and being ignored is the new normal.
I was thinking this, too. It won't stop me from addressing my technology addiction, but at the same time I feel this deep sadness and disconnection knowing more people than not are more invested in their smartphones than anything else.
This is so true.
Exactly
Yup!
You are absolutely right....😕
I am a 61 year old woman who has felt guilty all my life for not having will power. But now thanks to you I understand. It's like I don't recognize when I'm getting tired or stressed or anxious or depressed until I just break down, like I've just hit the wall and I have no more power left. I will watch this episode again. I just discovered your videos and this is the first one I've watched.
My God Linda you sound just like me…. 2024 has just got to be different for me…. Good luck to you too
58 woman here U.K. and you aren’t on your own.
55 female UK here Linda, feeling totally the same. Hit a wall for some time, I can't seem to find my way back. It's like I'm dead inside. Good luck to All 🌹
I'm a 61 year old woman, too, and it's so wonderful and encouraging to hear of other women in the same situation as I am. Thank you ladies for being so honest and admitting your struggles. Now, thanks to you, I know I'm not alone. ❤
I’m 62! I often think my energy is more depleted these days because I am slowing down.
Another thing that really really bothers me is other people in my life who have their phones and computers in their faces every single second of every day and night! It’s almost unbelievable how society has become so addicted to smart phones. Planet Earth has become a very lonely place.
You are so right. Technology has taken jobs social skills interacting.or talking they would rather text. It's crazy.
In April 2023 I relapsed after 6 years of being clean. It lasted 13 days. I lost friends over this because they don't understand addiction. I didn't beat myself up and realised what pushed me over the edge. I became complacent. I worked hard, went and got a part time job and never gave in. It would have been easy at 64 to say f it, I turned 65 in October and my life is worth not giving up on. I have some great Doctors at the VA and the friends I've lost to addiction made me stronger and resilient thank you.
This is a really inspiring story. I needed this today.🎉
@@kikijewell2967 Thank you, I really should write a book. I think it would help people and that's all that really matters. Help others has helped me over these 6 and a half years.
Glad you are clean again!
Great courage, God bless you 💕
As someone in recovery with 6 years clean- I’m proud of you! It’s commendable to recover quickly from a “fall.” You’re worth it!
My husband had a stroke 5 years ago and is now in a nursing home. I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts ever since. I’ve been in that “frozen” state a great deal but did not understand what was going on until I saw your videos. Thank you so much for your wisdom. You are wise beyond your years.
I’m actually just much older than you think 😁 but thank you nonetheless!
💯 agreed
Big hugs sent out to you ❤
So sad for you. I think your reaction is normal, you poor darling. You will heal I’m sure but it will take time as much if it is grief. ❤🙏
Acupuncture helps to restore function. I treated both of my parents after their strokes. It is never too late. It wakes up the nerves and muscles and that stimulates the brain to recognize the affected areas again. I'm writing a book about this right now, to share with people how to treat themselves. Please don't give up. I treated a patient who had a stroke over 10 years prior. It will take longer though.
I know that you hit the nail on the head. I am a healthy 67 year old. I work full time at a bank. It can be mentally exhausting at times. When I get home I lay on my bed and spend hours on my phone. Taking away from all the things I should be doing, and actually enjoy doing. I hate it so much. It’s a shame because it has never been like this for me before. I am an artist, I have children and grandchildren, I have family, I have pets, I love to spend time outside….all of these things have seemed to take a back seat to my phone. I just feel tired all the time. It makes me feel guilty and sad.
I wish I could get addicted to something I enjoy. I hate phones. \The wifi waves hurt my head.
Phones are like drugs. When you’re addicted to a drug you’re not necessarily addicted to the chemicals inside, it’s just there is a known personal comfort there that replaces the need for us to search out social interactions. As humans we have to have interaction with others. Otherwise we become emotionally attached to a substitute, which could be a drug, a phone, an illicit activity etc. There is a good video on KZhead called The Rat Park which explains it well.
I understand you! I just saw the video and i was able to delete telegram from my Smartphone! 😊
I have wrestled with the same phenomenon. I work online, so limiting my screen time isn't really feasible. And I have ADHD to boot (easily distracted, always looking for a dopamine hit). I feel like so much of this extra online time for me started with the current political climate and then the pandemic and the current economy. I'll wager it's especially true for people who have been through some trauma and tend to hypervigilance, like constantly checking the news for the next bad thing to watch out for.
It’s probably your diet that’s making you tired
This video just described my life. I find it hard to do anything other than going to work. Taking time to pay my bills and clean my house is almost impossible for me to do like i should, i live alone and have no one to impress or answer to.
I notice that I don't smile any more. I am in a dark place. How many of us don't know how to play any more? Looking at the stars, coloring, walking in nature, laughing at silly things, at ourselves? Being a responsible adult is difficult. There's never enough time. I feel so exhausted constantly. C-PTSD and life pressures make me stay in my broken shell too much. I don't trust people or their motives. I have to get out of this; I'm going under. I'm so pleased this channel exists, and that this man is giving of himself to help others. It is a lifeline to me.
Do you have a life partner? If so, start doing those things you mentioned with them. If you don't have a partner don't give up on finding one. At least try to find a best friend you can do those thi gs with.
@@isabellaflorentina7574 I do.
Don't smile anymore? You made me realise that I don't either. Everyday seems like drudgery pretty much.
The title of the video is the title of my current chapter in life.
Mine too 😢
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope this helps!
Mine too
Same here.
To say the least😆🤪
I think as you get older, you need less sleep, or you're not able to sleep more than 6 hours a day. I go to sleep late, around 1:30 - 2, and wake up around 8.I have always been a night owl, because nights are when I feel best. Mornings are the worst. I'm in my seventies now, and I have learned to manage my depression and anxiety to a certain degree. I have to avoid a lot of things, which of course is not always possible. I really get a lot out of your videos. Thank you for your generosity
I’m the opposite. Struggle to stay awake until 930. Wake up early about 430 am to 5:30 am. I’m 65. My mom told me she never told me to go to ed as a child, I’d just go to bed on my own - early.
I go to bed 10pm - wake up between 11am - 1:30pm. All my life I was a night person.. the last 3 years has been very difficult.
I found nights easier when I had depression because late at night I didn’t beat myself up about what I should be doing. During the day, early evening I would constantly run through things I should be doing but didn’t have the energy.
@@Amanda-uc5jq sometimes sleep is our only relief
I cleaned my car out of all the junk today, but didnt really want to or have the energy to, and now I feel better :) Thanx
I’m always amazed at how good I feel once I start moving. It’s starting that’s hard. Encouraging to hear 👊🏼
I wish I had a car again I’m 66 and miss getting out to drive to seaside!
Coincidentally, I also cleaned out all the junk in my car today (months after your comment) and also felt so much better for achieving something, then somehow found this video and your comment as it was something I was thinking about while doing the cleaning.
As someone diagnosed with ADHD I feel this struggle acutely. There are just way too many things competing for my attention nowadays and it's a constant battle to do the things I actually want to do versus the things I tend to fall in the compulsion of doing.
Yes. ADHD - me too. Also anxiety about doing something I need to do but don’t feel confident about makes me want to reach for cool shiny objects all the more.
😭🤚
i’ve found my ppl
I'm grateful for my ADHD w/ Depression diagnosis b/c now I have tools! I was misdiagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder Type 1 for over 10 years!! The meds didn't work & I was really, really struggling. My daughters were diagnosed w/ ADHD and that prompted my Psych to evaluate me!! Game changer! Correct meds, better tools, etc. ADHD is HARD. Depression is HARD. My Will Power is very depleted. I hope & pray that we will win this battle. Stay Strong, my fellow sufferers ☝🏼
Same.
me...due to Lupus/Fibromyalgia...determination...motivation...🏃gone...🏃...desire to do things...gone...I pray to GOD EVERYDAY for energy...just so damn tired of wearing the smile with the make-up mask everywhere I 🏃 go...just tired...🙏😢🙏
“And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” (Matthew 28:20). Christ Jesus left us His Holy Spirit. Start thanking God for all your Blessings, even if it's just the basics. Our brain responds to praise and functions to uplift us. I know what you are going through. I hold on to Christ Jesus, who paid for all things concerning us.
@@antoinettebranellec5374😘 GOD BLESS YOU BEAUTIFUL...THANK-YOU VERY MUCH!!! 🙏😇🙏
Watch a couple of videos about the carnivore diet. Many people report that problems such as yours disappear. Hang on in there. Xx
Doing anything at all, theses days, takes an enormous amount of willpower that I just don’t have anymore.
It’s sad when my highest activity is aimlessly watching algorithm fed you tube videos and here I am, watching this.
You hit it right on the head. It may not necessarily be my phone, but my husband committed suicide and I am still waiting for him to come back to me. I cannot accept that he did this to me and my son after almost 40 years of marriage. It is like my life was a waste and I don't want to do anything else.
I’m so sorry to hear this. ❤
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Sending you love, light, and peace for your heart. 🩵
I know this is very hard for you and you may suffer from it for the rest of your life, but as a 62 year old single guy who has a clinical depression for 30 years, there may come a moment that there is no other option. You're actually forced by everything in your head to do it. Maybe you can accept this better when you compare it with how you would feel if he had had a heart attack. Otherwise you might end up in the same situation as he was... I wish you all the strength to come out of it.❤
I am sorry for your loss. Your life is not a lie. Your son is real, and worth living your life for right now. And your husband had a terrible weak moment, and made a momentary bad choice that was final. Please don’t ever feel like you might have done something to cause it or prevent it. I tried to commit suicide as a teen, and trust me, it is only about the feelings inside at that moment. The most important thing to do right now is forgive him and yourself (for not realizing how he was feeling, for inadvertently hurting him, for not saying that you loved him enough or in a way he could hear … whatever is torturing you about it). And then live life to the best of your ability for yourself, your son, your other family, your friends and your community.
Hugging you I’m sorry and I know the sun will shine again… until then, hugs in the storm
Absolutely incredible video. It feels reassuring to know I'm not going insane thinking life is getting harder day by day, and that it isn't the fault of any of us.
The world situation isn't helping my symptoms. Inflation, possibile annihilation by nuclear war or climate change. For me, gratitude, meds, meditation and martial arts practice (turning rage outward on a bag) all contribute to getting through my days. I am so grateful to have found Dr Eilers and this channel. I give what I can to a local facility for the homeless. Been dealing with this 'black dog' for about sixty of my seventy-five years. Suicidal ideation has been and is a constant. One day at a time, the serenity prayer, appreciating nature. Making sure the birds can get a meal and a bath.
@@turkson1I think we are all affected by world situations but as I'm sure you know, all that ails the world moves in cycles, this too shall pass - I remember being terrified aged 19 that I was going to at best end up in a nuclear bunker the rest of my short days, I remember the talk in the 80s of how the San Andreas fault line was gonna rip the earth apart, how climate change in the form of the end of the ozone layer was gonna fry us all by 1990.. my Gran used to say don't worry about the state of the world, worry about your own backyard, the world is big enough to take care of itself 😁 which is effectively the Serenity prayer! Stay focused every morning on just making yourself a promise - to have a good day. The time before that and the time after that we have little to no influence over, so try to come to terms with and be at peace with that..(not watching the news is a good way to start!) easier said than done I know and took me until I was nearly 60 to get it, and I have more good days than bad now 😁 Your strategies sound awesome and martial arts is something I've decided I need to take up too!
So many old people like me on here. I’m 65. The world has changed so much and I can’t function in it anymore. Everything is hard for me. I have narrow small feet - hard to find shoes. A narrow face - can’t find eyeglass frames that fit. Small rib cage - special order bras . My elderly mom is difficult and is so old, husband has no friends so it’s on me, I’m afraid to drive because the population density now so I stay home. I’m too depressed to diet and I’m stress eating and feel fat . I’m ready to be done already
I feel you're pain. I'm suffering too. I lost everything. I have depression. .... also, I have regrets, and guilt, for ruining my life. The Stress and anxiety are horrible. I don't do anything anymore , I don't have any desires....
Same. I just want to be with Jesus
@@justmecinnamonplease don’t think like that. Could you enjoy a good book or movie to get your mind off your feelings. Sometimes I feel like you and I force myself to distract my thoughts.
I can identify with you. I am 67. Life is so difficult. I've never been married. I have no children. People can be so cruel at times. I am a highly sensitive person (HSP). My late mother suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She was neurodivergent and so am I. Therefore, I struggle with some of my executive functions. I take medication for depression each morning and anxiety when needed. I retired from my full-time job in December 2019 and began working part-time in June 2022. I'm still working. I need to stay busy around people who appreciate me. Unfortunately, everyone is not going to appreciate you. When close family members (mother, father, sister, brother, husband, wife) don't appreciate you for who you are and for what you do, life takes on a burden that may become unbearable at times. I empathize with you. Take care of yourself. I had to learn how to do so. It was hard, after being raised to take care of everyone else except myself. Be well.❤
@joanfolds476 thank you,.. It's hard for me, I'm happy you were able to get a part time job. That must be nice. You're able to socialize, and have some structure. I'm still suffering, others can't see why ... I miss my job so much. I wish this never happened. Depression is so unbearable, is causing problems. I hope the best for you, & 🙏for you..
I once heard somewhere "You cant logic your way out of depression" and I find that to be true and it drives me insane. I know I am smart and I was always able to solve any problem that arose around me, up until I started suffering from depression. I'm in therapy, I'm motivated and I know what I should be doing, yet I do not have the willpower to follow through. And it makes me hate myself more. The solution would be so easy, just get up, go to sport and do the stuff that needs to be done. My mind is in overdrive and I can't catch a break. But as easy as the solution is, so hard it also is to do. So you do the worst thing, you go lay in bed and put the blanket over your head while you watch stupid videos.
I am in the exact same situation!!! I oscillate between anxiety and depression, and beat myself up constantly for just not having the energy, will, or motivation to do what I know I should be doing. The only relief is to crawl back in bed and lose a few more hours.... which of course makes me feel even worse about myself. I have tried everything I can think of without any real change. I truly hope you find relief!
Everyone here is in so much mental pain. There is no help for any of us in this world. No one cares about us. That's reality. We understand each other but there's no one else who cares. Why do we try? It's a useless endeavor.
I totally feel that.
I struggle everyday and deal with almost constant rejection. Depression is hard to hide but I just can’t be honest about it so I just seem like a bitch most of the time. I have given up trying to please others but on the other hand I try hard to help others whenever I can and that does make me feel better. I pray to God and give him praise for this beautiful planet and enjoy backyard friends like the birds and squirrels. I make them happy by feeding them and that makes me feel good. I try to recognize any small bit of happiness that comes my way.
I work a ten hour 2nd shift. At 65 it's getting difficult to even show up. I have to force myself against everything I feel. Showing up, it's not so bad. But the anxiety of it is torture.
Wow, so I just realized that I am addicted to KZhead. How do I break this?
In my family, we've had 5 suicides, one of those was my mom in 2021. In 2022 my fiancé died from a brain aneurysm and I found him. I've just turned 50 and I have nothing left inside me to carry on. Since he died, we lost our business and I have very little income. I can't and don't want to do anything anymore, things I used to love! There was a reason I found your channel, I'm prepared to try anything. I'm afraid that if I don't, I'm going down the same road as my family members that I loved and lost. 💙 Thank you for your help.
This was so interesting to me. Husband and I are not young ( late 50’s), and doing well on paper. But we have discussed how life today is more complicated and stressful. Our childhoods were the 70’s, teens and young adults in the 80’s . We were the HS kids in Stranger Things. Life seemed happier. Now, post internet, smart phones, on- line shopping, we feel pressed for time. Day just goes by. My 10’s are youtube and Amazon shopping! Bad! We both feel depressed. You are right about limiting technology. I will send this to my adult 20 something sons. Technology is not going away, better learn how to protect our mental health. Thank you
I'm in deep depression for the past 9 years, some days I just can't do anything to get going on my day, it is so hard to start my day, thank you for giving me some hope ❤❤❤
💙💙
❤❤❤
dear therese, sending you mighty hugs from sacred sunny Arizona.. i have named and claimed my relentless, since from birth, depressivness, as a lil furry tangle of threads with sad eyes that perches on my left shoulder.. “he” has been my constant companion of disrupt but through it all, as i have grown and moved thru all the upsets, now “he” is just a wee fuzzball that i have empathy for.. i know! it’s weird right? probably pretty silly sounding too, but it works for me to place my sadness onto some thing.. i have told “him”, “you know, when i die, you will be transformed into the Light with me.. so if you want to stay dark, you will have to depart, from me..” he hasn’t budged so i will be taking away at least one shadow of sadness entity into the Light off this earth plane to dissolve and dissipate..when i go👍🏼🥰🌟.. find your joy again, beautiful friend.. you absolutely matter.. you absolutely deserve it.. there is much beauty still all around.. ❣️🎉❣️
At age 76, I can see what you are saying is so right. I'm almost out of motivation and will power now, but what always works for me is programming my brain to do what I don't want to do. I look at the task and say to myself: "this will get done" then I forget about it. Within hours or days, suddenly, I get up and do that task without thinking. It is as if my body is obeying the previous command in its own time. I use this method all the time to do tasks I don't really want to do. And it works every time. Thank you.
76 here,too. Sure wish you were my neighbor.
@@patyoung5330 neighbours!!!!!! That's another story. 😜
Dang! I knew that people were suffering. I didn’t think I was the only one stuck in a freeze mode but this is outrageous y’all!! We’ve got to get Better!! Humanity depends on us!!♥️
I'm 65 and left a high control religion 15:years ago. When I left, all my friends abandoned me. I've never learned to function in the real world. Everyday/everything is a struggle. My only enjoyment or escape is sleep.
Thank you so much for sharing your own experiences! I have yet to find a therapist who has walked in the shoes of their clients. Your insight is so valuable. So grateful that I found your channel. My new goal is to use youtube as a place to help me work on getting right, not just as a way to avoid the understimulating stuff like laundry n dishes. Thank you again for your honesty and grace! ❤
Okay, but when I do this, every time, every single time, I start feeling better, and when I start thinking “hey I’m doing pretty good right now” something just hits me, and I spiral down again. Why??? 😩
I do know the healing path is more like a roller coaster! I’m the same way I feel like I’m doing well then all at once I’m not. I’m starting to wonder if it’s the healing roller coaster or if I’m maybe self sabotaging? Not sure.
When this happens to me it happens because continuing on the “winning” path starts to feel like it is not really for me. Doing well for extended time is unfamiliar territory and scary stuff to handle alone.
I do this too. It is an addiction and also because we are so used to having low energy and focus that when we have actually have energy our brains want to default to our comfort zone.
I feel the same
This is VERY helpful. I’m on my tablet ALL day. I watch different programs. I watch you, and you’re the first people who made me think, “THIS GUY CAN HELP ME!” Because you are so real and relatable! The one thing that I’m doing differently is watching less depressing stuff and focusing on positive vids like yours. But, I am addicted to this thing! Yet, because of you, I will shut it down and do some productive things. I have stopped spending hours on the phone with my friend. I’ve stopped taking naps. I can do this. You are seriously giving some really good perspective and advice here. Thank youuuu!
This is very powerful. My parents taught me that sometimes you have to just push through to get everything done. That there was no excuse for not getting things done unless you were lazy. I have days where I can’t deal with things and then I feel lazy and like a bad person . I am 65 years old and this causes me a huge amount of anxiety.
Twenty years younger than you, and I feel the same way. I constantly feel like a failure because I often can’t do things.
I’m 57 & feel the same.
We grew up like little work horses. Laziness was the worst form of human you could be! But, no I’m in my early 60’s and I think being “lazy” is important. It really isn’t being lazy. It is connecting with your inner self and your spiritual self and it is a grounding technique to refuel your existence. This is a really complicated world and it feels for most of us that we will never get ahead. We’re just peons for the wealthy. I thought that’s why the United States of America was formed but apparently not. stay true to yourself.. be creative, write some music, paints and paintings, don’t worry about what anybody else thinks, just do it, and hopefully your spirit self will rise again like a Phoenix.
❤
I have a friend who decided to go back to an old fashion flip phone and get rid of cable/internet. She had about 2 hard weeks of withdrawal but after that she was so happy and was so full of life again. She enjoyed the simple tasks again in life. I didn’t quite understand it all but after watching your video it makes perfect sense why she felt that way. We are just over stimulated with these electronic gadgets. I wish I had the courage to do what she did. I’m sure my life would be better for it. However I will take your advice and limit my time. Thanks for all you do in making these videos and being honest and open about your struggles.
We got in a tight bind with money and my cell was turned off along with my Wifi at home, and the first few days were hard especially for my kids but after that it was great! Seriously! I got so much done.. soon as we turned it back on about 2 weeks later, the kids started fighting and listening less and I had my face in my phone and did nothing.
I am almost in tears. It helps knowing I am not the only one feeling this way.
This was a recap of my life over 55 years. I felt like I was a NPC as a human pushing forward when I should have stepped away for 30-60 min to do something totally different. The far away tired stare while my brain was reorganizing the files in my brain. Working 2-3 jobs to survive with a family. Then injuries from said occupations. I’m in a rural area that doesn’t have a LPC, LSW, or psychiatry. I used to be on 1st shooter games to just escape and interact with people around the world. I haven’t touched a video game in 3 years even though science has proven gaming is very healthy for the aging brain. Keep talking into the camera. We are all out here winging it. Your balance of work, life, leisure, goals is necessary to not be a NPC. 👊🏼👊🏼
I was a kid growing up in the 80,s. I feel lucky i can draw on my childhood and teen years where the smartphone did not exist. I find it easy to delete apps that annoy me. Im not on facebook and i only use my smartphone for news, text , photos and as a phone. There was a time i used it much more but i definitely became happier limiting the functions i use it for. Social media is the opposite of good for you.
Thank you, Dr Scott, now I understand why things I used to do, and enjoyed doing, are so hard to accomplish now that I've discovered KZhead. Now I know why I get worn out so quickly. This is hard, so very hard, as I have learned so much from watching videos, and then when I am exhausted toward the end of my day I watch movies or tv shows on KZhead. You have given me a lot to think about so that I can reestablish some balance in my life. I should let you know that I am disabled with a bad back and suffer from ME/CFS and so I am in bed the majority of my time. Watching KZhead or playing computer games was a way to distract my mind from the constant pain.
Me too 😢
I Send You Love And Light To Warm Your Path~
WOW! I thought you were talking about my life! I have worked since the age of 8 either raising brothers, cooking, cleaning, or working at the job 60 hours a week. But now at 65, I feel so drained but also have high anxiety because of the constant adrenaline in my body. But I am "done" all day. I have taken to my bed and watch TV. Movies and series. My husband retired and he's been running the house. I have chronic migraines, up to 20 per month. Arthritis all over, fibromyalgia. I am just tired. It takes a lot of willpower to get up and go to a doctor's appointment. If I go outside it's so I can read. I feel like my body's battery has worn down and the brain can't jump it. Thanks for this video. It will make me think. 😢
Right there with you. CPTSD, here. Just an almost total burnout manifesting in Fibro combined with horribly painful degenerative scoliosis, all the while living with a covert narcissist. I just can’t seem to get a foothold. I was a ballet dancer up to 54 when this pain hit. Within 3 months my former life and the spiritual regeneration that accompanied it, was over. Now, every day is an uphill battle physically and spiritually. I have no friends or family that I can call just to have a silly chat or to commiserate with. It’s really the worst struggle I’ve ever faced. At the end of each day I say “good night “ to God and to myself I say’ “I’m one day closer to going home”. My very best to you, in your personal struggle… I’m so sorry for your suffering.
You've led a good and hard-working life, and the Lord sees this.
Migraines can be successfully treated with acupuncture. Most people do not believe it, but I am an acupuncturist, and it works. Every time. The muscles in the neck get tight and press on the nerves, blocking blood flow. Acupuncture relaxes the muscles, so blood can circulate again.
@@CroisMoi I have thought about acupuncture. I went to a chiropractor back in 1997-2005. It was wonderful! I am on Medicare and I will check to see if it's covered. Thanks.
This is the reason why I still use my 2009 Samsung flip phone. It's all I need.
What I've realized from willpower is that if you train yourself to do the things that are less stimulating and less ideal FIRST, that you can actually enjoy the things that are ideal even more so than just responding and using them to alleviate everyday exhaustion. Anything with a wider gap based on any negative emotions towards an activity can be seen as an opportunity automatically from an inner discipline and lead to more happiness, reaping the benefits of getting things done and gaining a more enjoyable reward system!
Yes, for me this *was* helpful, and you validated some things I'd been thinking about for awhile. As for the phone, I'm sort of addicted to KZhead. When I listen to it, I'm usually also engaging in my favorite activity: doing hand embroidery. Now that sounds like a great, productive thing to do, but I overdo it and allow it to be my tranquilizer in a way. There are always so many things I need to do but don't do because they overwhelm me. Then it's a cycle: I neglect the chores and the stuff that requires thinking, then those neglected things pile up. And then naturally I feel more overwhelmed. I also feel guilty. I really, really enjoy doing embroidery, and it also keeps a lot of negative thoughts out of my head temporarily, which is nice, but I know it can't be healthy to do it ten hours a day.
Wow, Doc, this is an amazing explanation. Really puts a different perspective on everything. Yes, currently neck deep in a KZhead addiction 😂🎉
Your videos are blowing me away because they are so accurate. I feel like you are speaking directly to me. I am so blessed because you miraculously appeared in my YT feed because I was not searching out anything to do with psychology and the human mind. I am a 61 year old man broken in mind. body & spirit who just got out of a rehab for alcohol & opioids and all of a sudden you show up. This is divine intervention. God works in mysterious ways🙏
I’m so glad this content is helping. Lots more to come!
Life has and still is a waste of time for the past twenty years.
I haven't found another channel that talks about these subjects. Your channel is invaluable !! Thank you so so much. Blessings from London 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I have felt a loss of motivation for about 10 years now. I experienced several personal tragedies in addition to physical disability. I felt paralyzed. Your video really resonated with me and I spend too much time scrolling TV and the Web. I was always a "mental" type who found the endless stream of infomation exhilarating. And I love playing endless rounds of Solataire and Sudoku. In the meantime, now that I'm retired, I can go for days without ever leaving the house or doing chores beyond the bare necessities. I know now that I need to limit my screen time. Thanks for some badly needed information to help me break this endless loop.
You’re one of the most helpful content-creators I have found! Thank you for what you’re doing. You only need to see how quickly and completely children get addicted to smart phones to realize how crazy-addictive they are. We old people are almost as addicted as the little ones.
Hello. I’m a psychologist in 🇯🇵. Thanks for your work for the Community 🙏 and for the people working in health in general.
I found your channel at a critical point in my life and truly believe it wasn't by chance. I'm so exhausted from struggling everyday and feeling hopelessly lost and very alone. To know my situation is very common and I have the ability along with your tools to work through it feels amazing! Thank thank you
Me too!
Me too!
Hi. I have an odd impression of will power. I use to think will power came from a place of strength, like the warrior fighting in a sword fight, a heroic thing. Until some years ago when I quit smoking. I smoked almost 3 packs of cigarettes a day. This was before nicotine patches and nicotine gum. It was a process. Willpower cam in to it one day. (This is when people could smoke in restaurants). I was in a restaurant and saw someone nearby me light up a cigarette, at that moment I wanted a cigarette so bad, the smoking looked so good, I could feel the desire/ need through my body, physically, and I stopped my meal and just stared, watching this person smoking. I stared at him through the whole smoking process, I was literally drooling for a cigarette. I was certainly not in any “ strength” minded position, no I was in a mindset of weakness, but I didn’t smoke. That’s what I think willpower actually is, desperately wanting to do something, but not doing it anyway.
The lightbulb has gone off. Wow. Thank you for this video! My '10' used to be reading books until smartphones came along. I MISS reading. Your video has helped me see I can limit my time on the phone the same way I limited my children's time on video games. I did it for them to benefit them. I need to care enough about myself to do the same thing.
I rwalised one day i was, starting to get depressed for lining alone now and all my chikdren married and have theiir own lives. I Then decided to start running lobg distance. And since that time im a province Gold medal holder for years now and my mental stability is, strong Try a, hovby or sport it realy is, a, life saver.. I love to run on my own and enjoy nature ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I just took early retirement and now I need to figure out to do. I have minimal energy but I am hopeful.
❤ This could be the best time of your life. Best wishes 😊
OMG ! ‘Cutesy’ people ! I have Major Depressive Disorder, GAD, subsequent to PTSD from Service. I saw so many ‘cutesy’ therapists who smiled and said “I can make you happy again.” I did not need to be happy….I needed to be made whole again. Thank you for describing in one word what I could never describe. Seeing a trauma informed therapist now and things are going well.
It's hard too when people who have conquered mild depression think because they've overcome it anyone can, without realizing that moderate or severe depression is up to a hundred times more debilitating.
I totally get this. I just stopped going to a therapist who could not understand this.
You are absolutely correct. This is my life right now. I have never felt mentally challenged until now despite divorce, death, loss and other stressors. I’m 80 this year and my life seems to be over. Will take your advice.
It totally makes sense to me!! I spend way too much time on my iPad,watching videos. When I do stop and turn it off, I definitely find myself doing things that I've been putting off. I clean the apt and feel really good about it! I don't feel so useful when I'm on my pad,because I'm NOT! I started doing this after my daughter passed. I had no desire to get off the couch. I'm so glad I got through that FINALLY!!
God be with her and with you
I think this message really needs to be put out there more. I love James Hillman's work because he looks at psychology out in the world not in our own minds. How much of depression/anxiety/anhedonia is due to this huge influx of influence from a technology we haven't even begun to understand it's affects on our minds, and how much is our mum and dad, I actually think we need to really turn the focus onto these societal forces at work in our every day lives moreso and I'm glad you broke it down in this way with willpower. Subscribed!
I agree 100%. I couldn't have said it better.
This video resonates with me. Willpower being finite as it is, becomes even more draining when I beat myself up after doing stimulating but stagnant things, like watching KZhead vids for example. Then I try to do studying like web design, while chastising myself for being lazy. Not to mention that there is a vicious online media, that's very savvy in getting our attention just makes us so outgunned mentally.
I too had a cell phone addiction but, I traded in my smart phone in for a generic flip phone because I wanted to be more present with people around me, and not constantly attached to my phone. Thanks for the talk about high stimulation and taking back charge of our inner ecosystem. ❤ It does open up a whole new world of getting back to priorities but, I’ll still take a pass on dusting.☺
Taking care of yourself doesn't feel like a burden - that line touched my heart!!❤❤❤
Not that it changes anything immediately, but it definitely is a different perspective realizing that others apparently have similar struggles.
Thank you for using your willpower to reach out to so many, instead of playing a game! I’m not very good at phones and computers, having never been educated in their use, but my husband and kids are constantly on theirs and it drives me crazy! It seems so rude…and I feel so left out of their lives. I keep trying but it seems I always screw up! Thank you for letting me realize that I’m note weird!
You're not weird at all, from what we've just seen, you're actually the only one who's choosing to live your life in real time. But this is a big part of most people's lives now.My son is a constant gamer, in fact he and his friends do a large amount of their out of school socializing online & in game. One way I have found to open up a channel of communication with him is when he's on a pause or break, ask him about a game or games he enjoys. It might seem silly, but he really lights up as he talks, and the conversation can lead on to other subjects. So this is time, real time, we get to spend together, I treasure that. In the end it is something he loves, and I'd like to take an interest in what he cares about. Hope it helps.
Maybe you can’t see it through the frustration, but you are the fortunate one for not being addicted to your phone.
You're not weird at all! Most people would say they have too much screen time, I reckon, so you're the envy of many! But you say you keep trying & also feel left out, it sounds like part of you maybe wants to join them, if only for the social aspect? I'm not trying to push you but maybe you could find a compromise: they teach you something simple tech-wise, then swap & pick something for you to teach, or do an activity with them, off- screens? So you're spending more time together in ways that benefit everyone? Sorry if I'm way off base. Just a thought X
First part of this video is me all day and the last just under 3 months. I've been talking to a therapist twice a month and it's been helping a lot. That said, my willpower is not what it was like 10 years ago and I'm just trying to get it back. Sometimes. It's hard to even want to get up again or even do simple things. I appreciate the content. You're doing good work
The thing that is most stimulating to me is watching videos like yours Dr. Scott. I receive a lot of interesting information, they give me hope, but I'm sitting in front of a computer while my family is asleep. It's 4:30 am. So what do I do? Should I delete youtube altogether and not have access to really important great information. I find it really hard limiting it. It's like with smoking probably (i don't smoke), I'll just have one cigarette... It's almost impossible. If I don't watch it for a long time, I get very irritable, feeling like something important is missing in my life, and after a while I snap and go on a youtube binge.
Profound observation. Will power to fight the phone's attraction. Everybody is a junky to it now.
I am 70 years old. 45 years riding a media/film industry career. I must say, I have watched a lot of video's of topics your are covering. You straight on presentation is right on the money. You have a great style. Great motto "Will Power is Not Finite!!! Bravo!
Plus! He has a great voice ❤
Thats my issue it seems every day now. I cant even look at my mail and bringing it in takes playing games with myself.
I'm right there with you I feel the same. It takes all my energy just to go to the store
Mail can be very stressful. I often tell people I’m working with individually to bring it in to session with me so we can do it together ❤️
@@DrScottEilers That is so thoughtful of you. 🤍
Yeah I can hardly get out of bed
Me too. Mail and phone calls. ❤
This is 💯 spot on. People who have taken the no technology channel, they first actually go through withdrawal...after that, sadness, but as the saying goes necessity is the mother of invention, getting outside because you're craving excitement was, like it used to be before the internet, an adventure, talking, families finding out things they didn't know about each other, laughing, cooking, playing old board games or card games together for fun. It was amazing to watch how fast this family adapted, like they never had technology. And yeah, I went down hill when I got apps on my phone 🤷♀️👍👍👍👍.
This is so true, and deep down inside I suspected it but needed to hear it from a professional, stated out loud. I make deals with myself at home..... wash 5 dishes, then I can couch-potato and play Word Power on my phone. Then I'll throw a load of laundry in, and that action enables me to justify shopping for saddle pads on eBay. It's a vicious cycle and I need to get back control. I had a better life before I had my phone.
I like the way you explained this. Especially about willpower. I never knew there were limits to this. I have wasted whole days on my phone and couldn't get the energy to get up and do anything else. Then I would mentally beat myself up for not doing what I should have been doing. It helps to understand why I have been struggling with this. Thanks for this helpful information.
Suffering from dysthymia for the past 18 years, I can relate. Sometimes I feel like there's no point to anything....ugh!
Exhausted caused me to get depressed for years. Like you say it comes with things you enjoy and do too much, also today everything is so complicated, compared to the sixties and seventies, that's if you were born then, I remenis all the time that's what keeps me g☀️
Thanks for acknowledging the different levels of depression and how things are tailored towards mild easy fixes and short term problems. Chronic sufferer here
25% of the way through the video, when you gave the definition of willpower, I immediately realized I need to reduce the number of addictive options available to me in a serious way. This video can save lives. Thank you so much. Subscribed.