Are Intelligent People More Lonely?
It sounds like a hugely arrogant and self-serving suggestion to imply that cleverness might lead you to loneliness. But if you define cleverness in a selective (and modest) way, there may truly be an aspect whereby it can lead to a certain isolation.
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The School of Life But like most of the people on earth; I don't have iPhone, I have android
Yeah, I use android phone too
Why isn't there an Android option?
ASamson123 Because it will be released in 2018 on Android.
Please do a video on people who prefer to read non-fiction as opposed to fiction. Because as a child growing up I always seemed to prefer reading non-fiction material especially chemistry, physics and biology books twice. Over reading fiction for english class which was just so painful and insipid. Where my young brother was the complete polar opposite when it came to reading habits.
"Intelligent people tend to have less friends than the average person, the smarter you are, the more selective you become"-Nikola Tesla
Not necessarily sometimes what they do it isn't what you like to do
@@eddycolon1986 You are actually replying to a quote by Nikola Tesla and not an original comment.
@@johndonwood4305 Thank you, that was my personal belief, i'm glad that my way of thinking reminds you him. But is hard sometimes "swing against river" i don't how to say that in English😂😂😂😂.
I would have Been Nikola Tesla but were bien in an undeveloped country
I didn't say that ~ Nikola Tesla
What it says “Are intelligent people more lonely ?” What people see: “Are lonely people more intelligent ?”
Thank you. So many people came here just to find comfort in the fact that they are lonely. They think “At least I am smarter and loneliness is just a trade off.” People need to learn not to look for appealing qualities in suffering. If you are smart and lonely then you will still be lonely so much so that you’d wish to be stupid. If you are not as intelligent then you may still be on the receiving end of a similar loneliness. People here are using this video to justify antisocial behaviour.🤦🏾♂️
I think this is the most intelligent comment I've seen here
@@10tuntongan Out of the comments here, it is one of the more aware ones.
This needs more likes than the rest of the comments
I have no Friends lol
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” - Carl Gustav Jung I'm not intelligent. I can be dumb sometimes. But I also know that I'm curious & a deep thinker. Sadly, most people don't want to talk about the things that I think & want to talk about. That's why I often feel lonely.
That quote is so true
@@armyshope hey, my sisters love bts too
@@enigmatheinfj5346 That's nice but I really prefer sometimes to not be perceived just as their fan because I have found so much light in the fandom, strong love and support, but also lot of childlishness.For example a girl who found or maybe followed and knew their place-to-go schedule (Which would be fun to do breaking the rules of society,you know) said hello to them was defined by their fans as creepy.They sound more like some overprotective people too. I notice so many things my spiritual energy gets drained often.I swear,I'm extremely extroverted to the level that I insist to bother some people to be my friends and they find it often annoying.
@@armyshope yeah, I understand. My sisters also dislike those kind of fans. They never been to their concert btw.
@@enigmatheinfj5346 which type of fans?
“The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.” -Aldous Huxley
Just because you're lonely, doesn't mean you're smart.
dmed Wow. someone wasn’t smart enough to understand the video.
Usually, it does.
dmed Dude that's not the point of the video.
Someone just read the tittle of the video, right?!
It seems like he/she put this comment up for people who think just because they are lonely, they assume they are too smart for those around them. And no wants to deal with them because of it. Take this comment as a warning people so you don't fool yourselves.
"Insomnia is the revenge of what we tried so hard not to notice in the daylight"
I love this quote ..do you know who said it?
Just get some prescription medication, I now fall asleep within 1 hour. Greatest sleep ever
Insomnia is caused by spending to much time thinking.
Or too much caffeine
Maria Zelekova the dude in the video
I have been to dinner parties where everybody has armour on. Not sure if I explain this. Nobody opens up. It is all about their career, their kids, what holiday they have booked, what car they have just brought. Nobody says I feel crap and I had a shitty week, what about you? Nobody admits their common humanity. I reckon I can have these honest conversations with about 3 people I have known in my life. I can be completley honest and naked with them. Sadly one of them died last year and i miss them terribly. Luckily one of them is my mother. The other is very much alive and listens- a true friends. The rest are passengers. Too many people only want to know us when we are in good shape. As the old blues song goes "Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out".
I feel you! I can only talk about those things with 2 or 3 people. Btw I'm so sorry for your loss🤍
"Everybody has armour on" is the absolute perfect way to describe encounters with most people.
Same... But sometimes I think to myself are people really this shallow? Like maybe that's what they only want to talk about and on the other side there are also people like us who want to go deeper than that.... Idk I kind of accepted it, bc not all people are the same... U just have to find some kinds of yourself and then your good
I'm so sorry you've lost that kind of person. I know it hurts but that's good you've had one and have nice memories about them. I really feel you and you put it in such an accurate phrase about the armor. I'm going through a quite depressive period now and yes, unfortunately not many people around are interested in our minds, thoughts and emotional conditions (especially when we feel blue). I can't really open up to anyone too, so it's the first time I've told a living being about my depression. Sorry I've spited it out on you like this. All in all, I'm glad you have people you can talk to. There're not many, yes, but that's one of the things that makes them so valuable
same thing happened to me. even those who listen to you prefer the company of unconscious and numb minds.
It’s a strange phenomenon. I knew a guy who had a freakish social intelligence. He was a genius at the art of socialising. He could walk into a bar or party and 2 minutes later, everyone would be his friend. Turns out he was the loneliest person in the world. He was so good at winning people but could never keep them.
what does winning someone even mean if they aren't there for your honest self. There is truely nothing rewarding about that.
No such thing as somebody who can be friends with everybody. Not everybody is gonna like u, no matter how friendly/social u are. Nice made up story tho.
That's me
He has two sides
It’s actually a coping mechanism. Chances are he was deeply insecure and studied like ability and socialization from a skill set point of view. He’s great at it But only on a skin deep level.
the more people i meet, the more i like my dog. And i don't even have a dog.
Yeah... So true 😇
Didn't Mark Twain say that -.-
I laughed so hard after reading this.
I had an imaginary friend and he just moved from home.
I was talking about the quote@Saurav Sharma
I am both dumb and lonely
False. This clever comment disproves your alleged dumbness.
Anyone self-aware enough to recognize that, say, they may be emotionally flawed or even slightly below average in terms of intelligence is by no means a _dumb_ human being.
- TheElectricOwl - Could be socially dumb which is the worse kind of dumbness
Same
i feel you bro
I wouldn’t call myself lonely, I simply enjoy my own company more than I enjoy the company of others
Being alone and lonely is different. What you described is being alone. If you enjoy your company then there's no loneliness.
I bet you "enjoy your own company" several times a day.
@@moderoy bruh🤦
Oh
@@moderoy yes
King Solomon: "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." - Ecclesiastes 1:18
There's more wisdom in that book than some would like to think
"Siendo estúpido serás feliz" (being stupid you'll be happy) Jorge Gonzalez -chilean artist
wisdom is not the same as intelligence tho, to be wise you have to be intelligent but some people pretend to be wise using the wisdom of others to look intelligent my point is that everyone can be wise nowadays but not everyone is intelligent
Joyner Maidana I resonate with this verse, the more you gain understanding to the world the more burden it will bring you as Tame impala once said “The Less I know the better “
That is true
Alone not lonely. Voltaire said, "the earth swarms with people who are not worth talking too."
yesssss
He also knew when to use "to".
Voltaire is the man
You can be lonely yet have many friends
*to
This reminds me of a scene in The Simpsons where Lisa says: "As intelligence goes up, happiness goes down. See, I made a graph. I make lots of graphs."
Sharp Thorne Films ill be your friend for a unlockable microtransaction of 10.99 per day
The more intelligent and aware you are, the more you are disgusted by the facade that society puts up.
Sadly all the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
Sharp Thorne Films And I feel I have been forced into a role I didn’t audition for.
But no matter how much you fret this act/chapter, there's an audience member that loves the part you play in their life.
Socialising is such an empty experience so often that the lonely should really never feel like they’re missing out on anything.
Elijah Shewell I said “often” not “always”
agree
For me socializing is not only an empty experience, but furthermore, a waste of time. The only interactions I enjoy are with people who are more intelligent than me, from whom I can learn and grow. Small talk, or worse, gossip, are dreadful. But I am autistic.
@@elsaaforges But don't you think that the more intelligent people that interact with you may feel the same towards you as do the ignorant and blissful world that thrives on small talk and gossip to be [socially] acceptable or "admissible," as the video put it? Also, I can't explain how painful it is, for me at least, to inevitably and repeatedly realize that people will, unfortunately, find this school of thought pretentious or arrogant since it turns them away from a rather interesting conversation. Lastly, why did you mention you were autistic if you don't mind me asking? I hope that doesn't make my comment vain, implying that you may only, or at least, mainly, feel this way because you are autistic.
This is not true. Socializing is how you meet other intelligent people. All it takes is one friend for an introvert not to feel lonely. You just need to be brave and not criticize yourself too much about the failure to connect to those you suspect are intelligent.
“All I’ve loved I’ve loved alone” - Edgar Allen Poe
Yup. Intelligent people think before they do or say anything. They don't say or do pointless things. So they're not very good conversationalists unless its with other intelligent people. But there aren't many intelligent people so they are mostly alone.
You just explained me.
Good deduction
I feel arrogant saying this about myself but this really hits home. In all honesty I just want to understand myself and the things I need to work on to be a better version of me. I feel like being sociable and being a good conversationalist is an acquired skill but I don't want to put forth someone that just isn't mean so that I don't end up lonely and that's what I feel like I have to do to be a good conversationalist. Unfortunately the things I enjoy doing, talking about, and contemplating aren't things that most people find enjoyable. I've noticed an uncanny resemblance between me and my friend whom I regard as an ignorant asshole whenever I get put into a situation where I need to connect with people in the room. Unsurprisingly it works, with the exception that I've added my own personality and spice to not come across as a total jerk. Unfortunately it's his ability to connect and my inability to find others like me or connect that keeps me from removing him from my life entirely. I've talked to multiple people who know him and even though they all enjoy his company tremendously they all think he's a total asshole, this seems totally contradictory and I understand it but I just can't believe it sometimes. I keep hoping that I'll find more like minded people when I transfer to a better school since I didn't really pay my dues when it counted before but it seems like a lifetime away. That's not to say emotionally intelligent people don't exist at more modest colleges but I haven't had much luck lately. To me it seems like everyone just wants to get their shit done and leave so so they can be one step closer to transferring themselves. Life gets really lonely sometimes, and it doesn't feel like something that anyone can help me cope with. If this connects with anyone else who feels the same please tell me, have you overcome it, are you still going through it, what have you done to help yourself, or what do you think I should do even if none of this is applicable?
Average Joe Bro, My advice is to not dwell on the lonely feeling because in reality you're not really alone, there's people just around the corner or in the next house, etc. I think if you're ok with being alone, and keep trying, that mindset will help. Everyone in this world is trying, life is about trying and failing, and trying to succeed. Don't be mad or sad you failed, because failing is more normal than succeeding, you're also learning each time you fail.
Average Joe Bro I’m in the exact situation as you man, except my friend who is an “extreme” extrovert is very emotionally intelligent and one of the few people I can have a deep conversation with. As you, I’m waiting to get out of school in order to meet new people (my friend doesn’t go to my school). My advice would be that you try to find a career in your school/college/university that connects with your personality or mindset and you will very likely meet with people like you there. For example, I very probably will follow the Visual Arts career (not sure how you call it in English) because as the video says, I feel like art is an open-secret Diary where people like us can truly express ourselves, and hopefully that belief will be common among the people I will meet there. Hope you found my comment helpful :)
They are not lonely. They are happy to be alone most of the time. Being alone gives you the time to introspect your self and analyze your thoughts. Being an introvert is a fun of its own kind. Edit: 2/2/2022: I think I have written more about introversion here. Or how being alone doesn't mean we are lonely too. Being an introvert I love to spend my time alone.But That does not mean that I don't meet people or something like that. I have my people, my friends (ofcourse a few friends) with whom I spend my time. And I am the most talkative person there. As it take time for me to open up to others. So most of the people think that I don't talk much (which is also true somewhere). Some people think that I am shy which is also not true. Because it's just taht I don't feel the need to that particular thing. And anyone can be lonely and depressed. But I think it hurts more to an introvert because it is difficult for an introvert to share their feelings to others.
yea but if you are all alone with your own thoughts all the time you have none to bounce those ideas with none to separate the wheat from the chaff so you might end up with a distorted view of reality. none is so smart as to never have a wrong idea. and it is helpful if you have someone you trust to point out errors, like a best friend for example or your wife.
Especially when you can understand your alone because you have depth and the majority of people either don't have depth or reject it to fit in with the "Banter"
"Happy to be alone"??? Come back when life has 'experienced' you, and see if you feel the same??!!!
@@erikmehl2150 very true. Hence why Isolation is Dangerous.
Exactly. Once i stopped adapting to normies just to blend in (because i was always taught socializing is "normal"), i learned so much about myself. And once you get to know yourself, you realize socializing is just a chore, like vacuuming or doing laundry.
"Works of art are humanity's secret diary." I love that statement! I've never heard it articulated why, as a highly self-aware and highly sensitive person, I feel plagued by loneliness. And it often gets worse after visiting with others who, as this video noted, find me too intense and "real". Thank goodness for art and creative talents.
i consider art and literature as authentic works of HISTORY, too, as the history which is curriculum approved is so heavily censored and whitewashed and cut corners to make it easily digestible.
Couldn't agree more.
Enjoying your solitude is one of the greatest thing you can achieve in this overcrowded world.
The world is not overcrowded.
my emotional intelligence is both my greatest source of personal pride and my source of torment.
I like pie.
exactly
i'd like to know you
Just felt that today.
So true for me
It's very sad how most of the emotionally unintelligent are lonely too, but they don't even know it.
mephistopheles the silent chief Spot on. They dismiss it, trying to live life only as they see others do. But what we see is very different from the truth no one ever dares to admit.
mephistopheles the silent chief ah no, that just means they are blissfully happy!
mephistopheles the silent chief ignorance is bliss
thats deep
Im a cunt to other people and still know im lonely.
This is perhaps The School of Life’s best ever piece in my opinion. It very accurately documents the innermost struggles of introverted people in attempting to form meaningful and significant connections with others yet constantly feeling empty and detached as a result of these efforts. I particularly relate to the section in which the narrator articulates the worries and frustrations that an emotionally intelligent person experiences when freely speaking their mind; the fear of being perceived as utterly pretentious and dramatic. Although life as an emotionally mature person can be lonesome, the understanding and connection formed through art and those rare experiences with other like minded people can prove tremendously uplifting and hopeful. Thank you School of Life for this video :)
The history of art is the record of people who couldn’t find anyone in the vicinity to talk to.
We may have to accept that our best friends could have died 250 years ago and be chatting with us... through art. I love this XD
this specific line reminds me of the movie, 'midnight in paris' where the protagonist is obsessed with the past 'golden age' era of Paris & wished if he could live in that time!
This line reminds me of classical era composers and artist who I really admired but never met
I deeply admire Chuck Schuldiner, hes the pioneer of death metal. I started playing guitar because of his music, he died in 2001. I am forever grateful for his music.
I really admire miyamoto musashi for his philosophy (dokkodo) and I wish people were more like him but maybe that's why he was great because he differs from the masses.
I'm lonely because people around me are the opposite of my personality. ..
Adelino Denzel So many dumb people in my school thats why i hang with teachers alot
The worst part us they love you but don't understand you.
Yup. Intelligent people think before they do or say anything. They don't say or do pointless things. So they're not very good conversationalists unless its with other intelligent people. But there aren't many intelligent people so they are mostly alone.
Righteous1 there are also intelligent but young people who let their emotions come until you stop thinking cause ur mad cause theyre still young
Yup :(
I'm not intelligent, just thinking too much. This makes me an awkward and silent person, so I'm lonely
Same
kind of profound and admirable to be able to write those words.
Same:/
Slm
Then find a reason why you are lonely, look and observe the people and what makes them all the same, then you'll know the reason why you should be lonely and why it is something worth to live for.
“The socially acceptable husk we artfully pretend is who we really are” 👍
You have to be completely honest with yourself though: sometimes people blame their loneliness on their "high intellect" instead of realizing that their social skills could use some work. These people probably have ideas worth sharing and meaningful relationships waiting for them, but that won't happen if they don't take responsibility for how they interact with other people. I also think a lot of these people have been hurt in the past (projection much?). I was guilty of this. I had to realize that I wasn't the misunderstood genius my ego wanted me to be - tough pill to swallow, especially since the "I'm very smart" thing was really protecting me from a shitty self-esteem.
You're still lonely, don't you?
Yes the people who blame their loneliness on their high intellect are only harming themselves
My IQ tests at 135. I spend allot of time alone by choice. Allot of people try to interact with me. I usually blow them off.
@@Crazywaffle5150 same here
Deus Ex you have a completely valid point, cognitive level and social level are two differentes stages of lifes, when cognitive level is so high that social level gets deeply damaged or you don't even have social skills to start with, it requires to apply some of that intelligenge to fix the social side of our lifes, and it's no sense in blaming our high intelligence for our poor social lifes. Actually I think it's a duty for that intelligent people to be able to project themselves in society, because nowadays our biggest problem is society is full of people who don't even know where their nose is.
"Yet, there is one resource that is exceptionally well suited to addressing the feeling of disconnection liable to be felt by the emotionally intelligent." Alcohol "art" oh
hahahahahha good shit right there
This should be top comment 😂😂
I have moved to France. My GP is kind and intelligent and agrees with you.
Oh
Definitely lol
Big difference in lonely vs alone. I'm comfortable with myself. Even ONE friend, a real friend, can be enough
"I socialize with equals or no one, and since I have no equals, I socialize with no one." Ignatius J. Reilly
"I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses." - Johannes Kepler “My solitude doesn’t depend on the presence or absence of people; on the contrary, I hate who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company.” - Friedrich Nietzsche "2% of the people think; 3% of the people think they think; and 95% percent of the people would rather die than think." - George Bernard Shaw "Most people would rather die than think; many do." - Bertrand Russell “Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.” - Mahatma Gandhi
They don't sit around quoting people though. Those people do something for the masses. Something will never change, but that doesn't mean a lot of other thing shouldn't happen
Wow,you must be so smart quoting other peoples thoughts,so unique
"KZhead is like horse shit: it stinks but everybody likes to watch it." - It's Candy Time Boys and Girls 2018
You cannot think surrounded of people.
Thisissomethingelse that happens a lot when I try to have intelligent conversation they just spout other peoples thoughts
It’s interesting to see how sarcastic and cynical the comments are. It’s a lot easier and more socially accepted than being sincere. I don’t think this is about justification of character flaws or ego. It is an invitation to take the risk of “being truly alive.” We face the possibility of shame and disconnection whenever we embrace authenticity and seek to “be seen”/make meaningful connections with others. The braver we are with our innermost thoughts and experiences, the more likely we are to be hurt, but also to connect. Of course, there are ways to gradually step outside your comfort zone. Artists, for example, expose their souls, but it’s a barrier in which you can allow someone to criticize your work instead of you. You could also make the argument that art allows for more connection by evoking shared experience rather than detailing a specific one.
The sarcasm and the cynicism comes from being hurt too many times and becoming jaded. Or, at least that’s how it is for me.
I really love your comment. Only one tip from someone who lived as you tell not being an artist. People will hate you or envy and reject you. To me, it is weird, but worthy because one single great soul connection makes me forget - mostly- human misery. Take care, you are one genuine person. Keep in mind all that is worthy has a high cost to achieve. I wish you the very best. P.
Well said. Thx for sharing
Such a brilliant observation
Fantastic comment, and you fill the hole that the speaker/video producer failed to
This explains a lot. I struggle with expressing my thoughts without coming across as someone intense, but music has a very special meaning to me, also, mangas with powerful images hit me the most, in a way that one big panel of a character in the climax of the story with a lot of detail and with the right build up are an emotional shock. Seeing things that way really let you know there are, or were, people who share your very specific way of seeing things and you were fortunate enough to come across such art, and rightfully so, because the author made it for you. The author had the hopes that art would make you feel what they felt while creating it.
Just because one feels alone does not mean they're lonely. One can be surrounded by so many people and feel the loneliest ever in their life. Feeling alone or lonely has taught me to become my own best friend. It's called solitude. It's the most healing experience ever.
Nice cope. But most ppl are lonely and want to have a genuine romantic connection, but can't because they are unable to meet somebody who shares the same views or likes them enough to be attracted to them.
@@CommandoMaster you're completely right, and I think that's an unfortunate truth of the world. Destined to an impossible chase of love. I don't dwell on it because love exists everywhere else besides relationships as well.
Im watching this video to justify my loneliness lol
Lol
I hope ypu are ok, keep some friends and make sure you get some alone time
SAaaame
U are already smarter than 99% of people in this comm section just for admitting it
Very intelligent of you
Everyone in the comments "yea I smart that y I lonely"
I'm a fart.
It's Candy: that y U lonely?
@@jilliansmith7123 Actually, I'm tired of being popular. I WANT SOME DAMN PEACE, OH GOD!
It's Candy: LOL!
@@jilliansmith7123 The fate of farts.
That is truly an astonishingly beautiful perspective on what art is, thank you for that
I needed to watch this for reassurance of my sanity.
Don't forget that just as other people have trouble understanding you, there will be people around you that have aspects of them that you have never really realized. It's impossible to find people who are exactly like us, but if you get to know people (past the different background, different interests, different beliefs) you'll see different fragments of yourself - it's easy to find small bits of everyone that you can relate with. Of course it's good to have people who are really similar to yourself who you can feel comfortable around, who will understand you when you express yourself honestly, but even within a group full of strangers you will have small things in each of them that you can connect with.
It’s not so easy for me to find in others small bits I can relate with. The best I can do is randomly share bits about myself and hope others relate to that.
A very good point!
That's an excellent point and I totally agree with you.
Thanks!
I agree with you
I don't know if I'm highly emotionally intelligent. But i know this, that it is also quite overwhelming to be highly aware of your emotional state all the time. This with a dash of OCD can be very frightening. Loneliness will start to scare you. You only have to seek out people and situations that are comforting. It's in the moments when you're alone(also lonely) that you start to feel excessively aware of your mental state. If you're a sensitive person, you definitely need to keep your mind on something else other than your own emotions. This doesn't mean that you have to push away you feels altogether. You have to discover your own balance in these things.
By far the very best comment&even better then the video!❤😍user-friendly...thanks.
Lmk if u wanna talk.. I can relate 100%
I relate to this a ton....
Sortttt of Brodie if you’re used to being highly aware of your emotions eventually it becomes a natural state of being
Relatable
Whenever somebody say I'm weird I smile and say "thank you" being weird in this world is a bless.
That's what I used to do too
Unfortunately, "loneliness" has a stigma in modern society - that there must be something wrong with the lonely person. In reality, often the lonely person is burdened with greater self awareness and empathy than the average person. Their loneliness is a reflection of seeing themselves, and others, as they really are.
Very few ppl value real life interactions in this modern day. Everybody is on social media, and busy consuming content online. Interactions these days are through text, and shallow/pointless. Most guys are lonelier than ever because girls don't take most men seriously anymore due to the vast amount of attentions/DMs/simps they receive on IG.
This comment section is a prime material for r/iamverysmart
Ok have fun making fun of people simply stating something smart sounding
I'm gonna farm for some karma because of comment section
That's why I came here. Haha. Need some karma.
Hi! I am very smart and you are very stupid. You just act like a usual human creature who can't accept the fact that some are smarter than you. Because I don't care about normal people like you and my time and attention is not worth wasting time on you I am not even bother to answer your comment. BTW my facebook tells me that my IQ is 160 so you can kindly fuck off, my mind doesn't care about your comments because for me you are just like a grain of sand in the sea of quantum physics. I AM JUST JOKING OKAY? CALM DOWN.
I find it interesting that there is a need for many to belittle those who have the audacity to label themselves as "smart" or "intelligent". Do we dislike the fact that they are intelligent? Do we not believe their claims of intelligence? Or do we simply dislike that there are people who are comfortable enough with themselves to self-identify as being intelligent?
I’m a creative and I think differently from everyone. So at the end, I come off to people as weird. I don’t have that many friends. Girls may get attracted to me but once I start talking about my hobbies and activities or whatever, they get turned off. Sometimes I think to myself if I’m boring.
Why I feel you?! :(
Boring because you don't do the same that they do the thing is how happy do you feel i say happy becase is the only feeling that everyone is looking for even alone or with someone
Boring or just too exotic/different from them? If I met a dude who loves football, I would also turn 180 degrees and walk in the other direction, because I have absolutely no interest in sport freaks. Not that there is anything wrong with the dude, it is just personal taste. Perhaps your hobbies are not in the norm and so less people will find you interesting, maybe weird if they have no sense of acceptance or understanding.
Like seeks like for that sense of a connection. I’m the same - but I also like weird. I have friends with the same and opposing views and different idiosyncrasies. Too much of this life is like an echo chamber, (especially now that social media etc has algorithms, so that you only see supposedly tailored content). It’s harder to learn, grow and develop around sameness. Bring on the weird and eccentric! The world is better and more colourful with them in it! ;)
SoundCloud.com/maine_ent you will like some of my songs then
I’ve been lonely most of my life and I do love to write books and create things on top of my passion for science, languages and sustainability. I find writing, creating, experimenting extremely therapeutic because I feel freedom of the mind, peace and tranquility with myself
I truly relate to this. Not to say I have too many troubles socially but not everybody is comfortable exchanging honest “data” of you’re deep thoughts into yourself and will connect when you do. But deep down everyone craves that expression and appreciates when they feel, respect and relate to an art piece. Art is a language in itself
I don't have enough hubris in me to assume that the reason why I'm lonely is because I'm "smart", that does nothing but give people this false sense of superiority and lead them into thinking that it's everyone's fault for not being able to get on their level. For me personally, I'm lonely because I don't know how to open up to others. I get quite anxious whenever I try to have a conversation with someone new, I ruminate over what to say and thus I end up not saying much. I'm very selective when it comes to making friends, because I'm extremely instinctive about others' intentions, all of which turn out to be true. I'm not interested in making saccharine relations with others where hypocrisy is a secret language that I must master. At the end of the day, I rather be lonely than to be stuck with people I don't like.
Somnolent verve You just 100 percent described me in any social interaction. I hardly can't keep up the conversation other than just formal greetings and get straight to the point. People think i'm cold but i can be entirely different, be empathetic and understanding if i wanted to. I'm very great at listening but the problem with me is i always see things in a total different way than they do and i always been anxious if i open up and be honest about my view how it appears to be better solution people will get upset with me and considered me to be even worse when it contradicts with their core beliefs so i would just avoid talking to them in a respectful manner
I'm just like you deep down but throughout my life I've been shamed/chided for being my true introverted self. I've been called "snobby" and "arrogant" for being what I only knew how to be. Now that I'm older and have reluctantly drank society's spiked kool aid in order to "fit in" and live up to social standards (If you're a rebellious introvert with an aversion to society's norms you had better be wealthy) lest I be made to feel an inferior, maladaptive failure, I feel I have betrayed myself. Everytime I shake the hand of a client or a colleague accompanied by my faux, manufactured smile and equally pretentious suit, I feel like throwing up. It's just an act. A facade.
I can relate to a lot of what you say - I think it's ironic that people often crave to be popular and have many friends, but that says nothing about the quality of those friendships. I think many shallow people have many similarly shallow 'friends'.
What you're describing - that certain perceptiveness - is the kind of intelligence being described in this video.
Out of all the top comments on this video, yours was truly intelligent.
I'm not lonely. I just do not like a lot of people.
Dank Weegee I feel this comment on another level. I feel like I'm just picky...
Dank Weegee You be living in a 3017 life than us in 2017
Dank Weegee same
You do not like a lot of people and that's the reason you're lonely. They don't exclude each other.
I don't like alot of people, and that makes me lonely
I'm glad I have found this channel in my teens. It is very helpful for growth, overall knowledge specially when it comes to brain, behaviors etc. I relate to this video and Art is what mostly keeps me company. But I have learned to enjoy being alone but not too much.
I LOVE that this ended with the connection between emotional intelligence and art. I often experience what I perceive to be misunderstanding when I attempt to bear honestly my thoughts and thought processes to others. And, I often end up creating art (songs, written pieces, paintings) when I want to truly express what I am going through, or what I believe, etc. Thanks for the video:) I feel a little understood and remember that I'm not the only one feeling this way. Art. Sigh. I love it.
I guess the saying "ignorance is bliss" holds true
lmao
Some of the truest words ever spoken
Define "bliss".
It's Candy Time Boys and Girls thanks for making me laugh
Untrue. While being ingnorant you still have problems, problems that seem to be big problems and so that makes you unhappy,eventhoug they aren't usually problems we would even take into account,because you are ignorant and don't see that your problems aren't a big deal
I told my friend the other day the more I learn about others the more lonely I get. Socrates part 2
This channel has come a long way 🌻
Excellent video. I can relate enormously, but because it is an emotional issue it is difficult to dissect and come to terms with the fact that finding like minded people who value the opening up about the dark internal turmoils of being human is like looking for a needle in a haystack. This video was a great help in understanding myself. Thank you.
Boy this sure is depressing
I’ve seen you twice today
Klaus Hoxha I've seen you once today
lol
When presented with the truth, you will first be sad or angry. Later the truth will set you free.
No, its not. There's nothing wrong with being alone if you like to be so.
well looking back on all the mathematical, scientific, and artistic geniuses throughout history, the answer is yes, very much so, but that doesn't make it a virtue. as a society we tend to romanticise loneliness and isolation, because it suggests independence and self-sufficiency, but that's conflating loneliness with solitude. everyone needs to learn to stand on their own, but we should certainly not glamourise loneliness as it is a detrimental and ultimately inhumane thing to do to yourself. as humans, we thrive when we are connected, when we are *not* alone. as much as you'd like to deny it, we _need_ that connection. that's why loneliness is sad and dangerous - it is the lack of that connection that we so seek. so, yes, it may be true that intelligent people are lonely but that in no way is an advantage.
ruoweii it's hard for intelligent people to form a genuine connection with most people, most people are incredibly stupid and ignorant, you can only play with children for a while and then go back to hang out with friends. Unfortunately, most humans are ignorant children. Most of them don't even care about learning things as they grow up. I find it impossible to connect with most humans
abhishek chatterjee If you really were smart, you wouldn't be bragging about your intelligence. You're making a fool out of yourself, shut up.
@@e.t.theextraterristrial837 agreed. My problem is i dont have any friends to go back to. Just myself.
ruoweii sometimes intelligent people - even intellectually - are just meant to be alone. No one appreciates intellect; rather they USE it for their own ends.
Intelligent or not being alone is not dangerous or sad. Sad and dangerous is the crazy desire for attention and interaction with people while feeling self pity and worthless. Being alone and feeling loneliness is an art. Once master they longing for interactions and the desire for affection cease to be and left is a cold, empty, peaceful, and calm feeling.
Exchanging notes on what it's like to be alive - I really love that sentence!
The more I’ve tuned in with myself, the more awkward interactions I have when I “be myself” :( That’s how I got to this video. I’ve always been known as very smart. We’re not alone, just feels like it.
I also have this problem of being perceived as too intense or outrageous even though I try to be gentle. It seems I can't avoid producing discomfort since I'm evoking painful things or I'm bringing up subjects that require intellectual effort. With art this problem is avoided because I could say something when I'm ready to say it but it will be openly listened to and understood only when the receiver is ready for it. With art I could also create an atmosphere that eases listening to my message, which is harder to do in the more spontaneous quotidian life. The best example are some SoL videos which at some point I watched but didn't completely internalized yet I went back to months later when I was in a state that allowed proper understanding of their message.
Very few ppl value real life interactions in this modern day. Everybody is on social media, and busy consuming content online. Interactions these days are through text, and shallow/pointless. Most guys are lonelier than ever because girls don't take most men seriously anymore due to the vast amount of attentions/DMs/simps they receive on IG.
I love being alone, I'm not lonely...I have a hard time verbalizing how I feel or what i'm thinking so I remain pretty quiet. I've felt the pain and suffered from the effects of words growing up so I choose them carefully.
"I have a hard time verbalizing how I feel or what i'm thinking... " Your post is very clear.
This has so very precisely described what I've been trying to decipher in myself. Since past 6 months I've been having very strong thoughts that I'm not receiving reciprocation in conversation of the same level of intensity that I express myself in. You see I am a person who thinks and speaks about extremely vast topics (and manage to make topics relate to each other) and I'm a sucker for details and upfront communication thus I speak specifically yet I take conversation as a means of understanding my own thoughts better.
The way I’d describe this phenomenon in my own life is misunderstanding. And I think it’s important to emphasize emotional intelligence. Most people like to see the world in a dichotomy. And that can be limiting. Especially if you choose to see the nuances of life. I think my loneliness stems from others trying to force a dichotomy onto me. People fail to see that I can recognize multiple truths in one situation and consciously decide to form my own thinking from each. It does not align to most people’s simpler way of analyzing the world and may even reflect some fear or insecurity in them. That, or they infer what I say to fit into the categories they’ve chosen... thus leading me to feel misunderstood or even dismissed.
You've articulated what I've wanted to say to my friends for years. Thank you. The world is not black and white we are not black and white everything is color, and every color has billions of more colors. That's how I like to see the world at least. I want to develop some sort of community eventually in my life where I can have likeminded people coming together not for money, religion, or politics but better global human understanding of everything.
If I owned Picasso's Guitarist painting, like this guy, I wouldn't be lonely at all, just buy some friends.
You can buy company but not friends
😂
No, no way to buy genuine friends or love.
Nah just buy some hoes, they’re not genuine anyway
Well I'm kinda stupid and lonely
We all are very stupid in so many ways. But I always tell myself this: if I have to live with myself till the end of my life, then I better be kind and compassionate with myself. I understand what I understand from this world and that's fine...May be this approach helps you too. Have a nice evening :- )
School grades and book smarts does not truly show how smart an individual is.
I agree for the most part - I just wanted to say that self-expression through language, music, and imagery is an essential part of being human.
This is my favourite clip of yours so far, maybe ever. ☺️
Thank goodness for the internet where I can find link minded people to have fun with sometimes
Emmanuel Cadet I agree. I do have some interesting conversations on KZhead sometimes with people. I wish some people weren’t always idiots talking about stupid memes all the time though.
Oh boy, this comment section is gonna be a r/iamverysmart goldmine!
lol
It ain't a bad thing to love and respect yourself IMO
it's also filled with the kind of people that post and comment r/iamverysmart
Harry stones That's probably true, how does that make you feel?
Or people defaming them
I've been trying to have the same things said in various circles(parents, friends, acquaintances) but it becomes rhetoric. The thing keeping me awake at nights .. Almost incomprehensible, this getting soaked with alcohol... Drawing or writing has proven to be the only thing churning it out.... The satisfaction, that pushes that last sigh out before you finally go to sleep. You're very lucky if you find people with whom can communicate even half of this. I felt genuinely happy when this video called it out as heart. Happy that I've found something that profoundly agrees with me... Even if it's just a video. Great work.
Also, I kept thinking through the first few minutes, whether artists can necessarily be called or even ever will be looked as intelligent. The most honest ones I've seen, are troubled af.
But what if it WASN'T about emotional intelligence? What if it WAS about logical, spatial, mathematical intelligence; about knowledge; abstract thinking, and the ability to envision and follow complex lines of causality? I mean, that's what I came here for.
Best way to increase *ALL* intelligence - emotional or otherwise - is by reading, an inherently *"lonely"* practice. No conversations or interactions with others increase intelligence like deep thoughts on paper.
Disagree. Yes, you need an information to start, but it's all around. The main process - thinking. Which is quite secluded, too.
Nope, sorry. Anyone who's done enough reading knows that not only do you form a deeper understanding when the words are physically on paper and you read it to yourself, you also retain the information longer.
reading is not a lonely practice. You read someone else's work. It's and inherently social practice. Social interaction is what tremendously helps development of intelligence. Not only in humans, but also tons of animals.
When you're collecting information from certain events irl you're into them emotionally - delight, fear etc. Memory connected to the feelings is far more stronger, that should be obvious. It's just a counterargument. As a whole, I didn't get what you were saying. Were you implying like school learning? Remembering facts won't make your life much easier. Remembering your first friendship experience, or decisions out of them, will.
I'm talking specifically about intelligence, not only having the information but applying it in daily life. Friendships and social experiences give you insights into just that - social behaviour. As for emotional intelligence, psychological intelligence, spiritual intelligence, academic intelligence and overall wisdom, only reading well thought-out works by others can make you more "intelligent".
I'm happy that I found this channel the art style his voice all so calming keep up the good work!
Seems like a lot of people use rationality of “I’m just too smart” or “I’m introverted” for a lack of effort put into friendships and to be honest with them. Loneliness doesn’t come from lack of connection to each other. It comes from lack of connection to ourselves. When you’re being a mask instead of yourself, that’s loneliness.
Yeah, OK. Most people don't HAVE to put in effort, though. Sure, putting in effort would help them. But it's not a prerequisite to having simply ANYBODY like you. Since I was a small child, I have been left out. I don't know what to do because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. People never tell you how to be better, they just abandon you. And the funny thing is that I get a lot of attraction. It hurts so much to have people actually interested in knowing you for a second or two only to mysteriously leave you. It makes it feel more personal than if people just avoided you from the outset.
Not to be dismissive but truly your response ‘fundamentally’ distorts if not repudiates the video (If that ‘was’ your intent). Your assertion would be correct if social connection were enhanced by greater communication and acceptance of one’s ‘true’ self. As the video indicated, this tends to estrange others - not endear them. The best evidence is the fatuity and triviality that permeates society and manifest personal and social exchanges. If your assertion was correct more content, gravity, significance and complexity would prevail. It is not presumptuous to pronounce that both mass culture and the vast general span of ‘personal’ relationships ‘cannot’ be qualified as such.
I think it is not how it really is. I think there are many people who put effort, but get something bad. Life is not always a perfect way. Of course, one need to keep trying. But it is not right to generalize everyone. And, as stated above, there are opposites - who don't put effort. There are different situations in life. I understand your thought, actually. But somehow it is not that like that. Not every lonely person is arrogant or egocentric. Sorry, but that'show your somment sounded - that every single person is like that.
this video speaks to me deeply. I have thought about this for weeks now, especially when I go to family gatherings or hang with friends. at times I get no reply when I speak on things of substance, yet folks can talk on & on about the turmoil in another person's life. the "To Be Alive" part stuck out to me. people make it seem as tho I am weird, in other words "different" when I don't believe that's the case. I just choose to be myself & I speak how I feel about things instead of following the crowd with a false identity. to be alive means to be true to yourself awhile living righteously. I found myself after years of misery. no different than anyone else, I have gone through rough times. things that I never saw myself overcoming, yet by the grace of God, I look back on my old self & couldn't be any closer to God. We as a people have to be true to ourselves & never look down on or judge people because that's the main reason people are afraid to be themselves. I rather a person be themselves than a character full of facades.
If you are alone that doesn't mean you are intelligent.
Pranoy Dutta I can relate to this lol
To be fair...
Pranoy Dutta He didn't say they were.
Don't confuse being alone with being lonely. One can be surrounded by loved-ones and still be lonely.
you must be a real genius for stating that *sarcasm*
What I am starting to dislike about these films is the voice at the end. It was recorded by a different person and (seemingly) a different microphone. The difference in the audio quality is jarring... Since The School of Life is trying to sell products, I hope they fix this issue. This isn't inteded to be rude; I'm simply, blunt. I do love these videos.
Paul Diamond i unfriend you
Paul Diamond I know what you mean. It kinda irritates my ear or mind or something. It's just so abrasive
I agree. It's at a slightly higher volume and the woman's voice is flat and emotionless. Very off-putting. Sorry if you're reading this, voice woman. There's nothing wrong with your voice per se; it seems you maybe just received not-good direction for this task.
Working on being in the here and now is a start, savouring the moment, sharing who you really are and not what you’ve learned.
Very deep. Explains the frustration and dissatisfaction in much communication and the connection and emotion that can be found in books, poetry, art, and music.
i like to listen bachata, i am more inteligent
Thinking alone is great. I fancy it, it furthers my learning.
Cool : )
Marvin I have come to great conclusions by thinking alone, I'll give you that. But most times my loneliness gives me too much time to think. Anda that's where it becames dangerous (at least in my case). I start going way outside racionality. My main thing is question EVERY single thing, most times related to people and weather or not I like them at all. I always end up questioning if I even like living at all... I mean, I got it all. I havent got a thing missing in my life, but I still seam to not have much interest for it. The think that makes me sick the most is how fake people can be. But on the other hand, the thing that makes me feel better is knowing someone genuine. It's so rare. It's very refreshing! I just felt like writting a little... Sorry if this was crap. And I'm sure there's plenty of english grammar mistakes all over
Tesla was always alone... In a barely lit room ... He preferred it.. And he was one of the smartest humans to ever live : )
aka Amy Thid is stupid, yes you do have more time to think when you are more lonely, but most of the time you at a lose. This is because not only are you isolating yourself when humans naturally are supposed to interact with each other, but your limiting yourself by not listening to other ideas. 2 is better than 1, no?
You should read The Enigma of Reason: A New Theory of Human Understanding by Mercier & Sperber. Reason is a social tool and is poorly equipped for lone use. You will, in fact, learn more and reason far better if you find someone who is interested in discussing the kinds of things you like thinking about.
This video hit home. I find it much more enjoyable to engage with art, and to express myself with it. Strangely, indulging in solitary activities like writing feels less lonely than being among a group of friends I can't quite connect with.
Wow weird how much I can relate
I battled with this dilema in my first “real relationship” I wanted more depth and understanding and we didn’t share that. It felt lonely and I even started a drinking habit. Since leaving that relationship… I found a voice in vulnerability and a direction towards connection with others through this channel. I have 2 boys from that early relationship and my purpose is to bring that so them too can cultivate that in their own unique way. I also realized because I am “being” that source of connection/ vulnerability I also attract people who are the same way or also ignite it stronger in our relationship. This video at 1st saddened me because it shared a tonality that was shared in the messages that it’s difficult to attain it or to have …but you can’t never miss something you already are.
This concept was so painfully obvious, and so beautifully oblivious at the same time, real eye opener.
Fuck me. That voice in the end just completely broke the Zen I was feeling throughout the video.
Why am I watching this? I am not even smart
You could learn to detect *that* and *why* smart people might be lonely. Maybe just slightly more intelligent people. This then could help you to steer conversation into a mutual pleasure. If you might ever be in - and want that position.
you're curious. A lot of times that all it takes to be "smart"
A question I've pondered my whole life is whether or not I'm lying to myself about being lonely or not. Trying to find a way to justify my shyness, introvertion or other tendencies to not pursue my social life as much as others, without the risk of lying to myself. Thank you for this video and this channel overall, Its not the first time I've found myself loving these videos
A 14 year old: "I'm lonely therefore I'm intelligent"
I love your videos, each and every videos is so meaningful and deep.
The Art of Happiness not. Take a real philosophy class. Read Descartes. Understand Plato and Aristotle and their contribution to millennia of thought. Read Camus and Satre.. de decide if you agree with one of the other or neither and why. Those things are meaningful and deep. . Shoot, watch Crash Course; at least it presents ideas in as n unbiased manner and doesn't pretend to be something it's not
they are pretty shit, they just sound amazing
Intiligens is overrated. Wisdom is underrated.
Tht makes no sense
VIGILANT 7 TALENT MANAGEMENT lmao yeah
@@fluffcake3124 It only makes no sense to those without wisdom.
@@fluffcake3124 It only makes no sense to those without wisdom.
@@fluffcake3124 its does. Knowledge/Intelligence is different from wisdom.
We are not lonely, we are alone. "If you're lonely when alone, you're in bad company." Intelligent people improve themselves constantly, and one of the key areas you improve when you're alone, is making sure you're not lonely when alone. In a large part of your life, you'll find yourself being alone.
I am giving a presentation tonight about emotional intelligence for my GCSE retake, 20 years after the first take!!!. How apt to see this!
missclarestube You have to do a presentation for a GCSE? Wow they have really upped the requirments.
well i not am intelligent ... i observe people's bheaviour very closely and read their mind and understand their situation instead of judjing them......i need alone time everyday its kind of healing thing for me sorry for my english
"Read their mind" What
@@marcowashere1615 she means anxiety =))
Well isn't that an Intelligence? You have the ability to know intuitively, and easily understand things that most people might not have... its a gift... but it just means we are going to be lonely in our most of our lives
"I'm not intelligent" sounds like something an intelligent person would say.
ana san you don’t need to understand every situation that is unhealthy
This one hit very close to home. It was kind of surprising to hear this correlation of art and socializing said out loud. Back to writing music for me :)
I deadass had my feelings hurt so i typed in “smart people fragile ego” and this popped up
The other aspect: The people who are considered not intelligent, feels more lonely. They suffer from both loneliness and lack of emotional intelligence, causing not understanding what they're feeling actually, making them more miserable
It's the inability for smart guys to socialize with girls in a funny/charismatic way, where the girls are gonna be attracted to the guy. So he comes across as too logical/boring, and the girls are not interested in hanging out with him, and he feels lonelier than ever.
I'm dumb af and very lonely.
+This Girl This might not help you, but we're all dumb. VERY dumb. 😀 It's true: even the smartest person in the world can know the tiniest of the tiny part of what can be known by humans. So you're not lonely at least one way. 😉 But I understand you can feel lonely. For me, that's a sign that you haven't found something you're passionate about. If you're depressed, that's the last thing you want to hear: "What are you passionate about?" My guess is that you are not passionate about anything. I know because that's what happened to me. During my worst depression, I forced myself to think of things I enjoyed as a kid. Also, of things I did outside my work and family. I've always loved reading and learning new things. So I went back to reading books and magazines on topics that interested me. I wasn't doing it to find my passion. I was doing it because it brought me joy. In the end, it led me to finding my passion. Now, I'm very passionate about spreading encouragement and helping people see the beauty and kindness in the world. So, I hope you'll feel a little better about being dumb (trust me, I'm at least as dumb as you), but also a little less lonely. Have a wonderful day. 💜
Bianca Aguglia Reading your comment brought me so much joy! Thank you so much for this!!😊❤️
cheer up
+This Girl I'm very glad to hear that. 😊❤️
A video that gets me FINALLY i love this so much
This is a beautiful video and I needed to hear it. Thankyou