Love in modern China: The matchmaker of Beijing
2018 ж. 15 Там.
174 961 Рет қаралды
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In the past 40 years, Zhu Fang says he’s brought 1,650 couples together, it’s made him one of Beijing’s most popular matchmakers. But time is changing, the young generation’s attitudes about relationships and marriage made him confused.
I don't get why some of the comments are bashing on women for liking men based on their success. As if men don't only like women based on their beauty. What's wrong with liking a successful man instead of a lazy bum? No one want to live like a hobo.
@W W Not sure where you are getting your information, so I will gladly read any source that backs your claim. I can understand if its a few guys but a great number of American, UK and Australian men that are going overseas looking for future spouses instead of their homeland. What can be the driving force to make them do this?
Linda 24 because western women aren’t acting like women in the sense that they are losing femininity.
I suspect it is because many women guilt men for "objectifying women." Not that it excuses some of the comments, but I can understand why some of them were made. Many women guilt men for "being shallow," and primarily being concerned with looks. At the same time, they do not consider it a double standard to not give a second glance to men who are shorter, less wealthy/educated, or younger then they are. It is currently socially acceptable for women to be vocal about what they want (i.e. I want someone tall with a six pack who is at least 3 years older than me). The same is not true for men. Imagine the backlash a man would face if he publicly said he does not date women with small breasts, short hair, or older than 30. Example of a double standard. The fact is that men and women objectify each other in different ways. Women are not intrinsically better than men even though some people in our society may want us to think so. Men are influenced primarily by the visual, and women by what men can provide themselves and their children. This can be seen throughout human history (e.g. is a woman fertile and likely to survive childbirth? - is a man going to provide me with shelter, protection and food?). Yes, "slut-shaming" is a thing, but the majority of it, in my experience, is perpetuated by females and not males. Many of the societal pressures women face these days (supposed to look/act/dress a certain way, etc.) are not restrictions set by men, but from their own fellow women. There may be exceptions, but this is generally the case. Also, laziness, or any other vice is gender neutral. A child does not need a mother more than he or she needs a father. There are many misandrists masquerading as feminists, but make no mistake, true feminism is for both genders; not only for women. Same idea for civil rights. It is not only for black people (not everyone black is African American), but for all people of color.
@OdsayI'm not a psychologist, but it seems like those criticisms are coming from your own insecurities. Why do you care who strangers choose to date, or their motivations for dating someone? It could be that you are a teenager, or just a negative person though. Maybe religion has something to do with it... I don't mind what other people do if they aren't hurting anyone (e.g. gay marriage, birth control, etc.).
@@jkxss just plain and simple truth . *slow claps
All the single people out there watching this , you are not alone
This feels good...
I'm kinda relieved knowing that I'm not alone. All of my close friends are attached while I'm still single hahahahaha
@@ainsyf.1259 Sometimes being single is better than being hooked
@@jackievarughese3945 i agree!!
False. I am alone
this man (matchmaker) is a hero, charging so low for an impossible task until success
Like Mr. Fang says, In the old days people's thoughts were very simple and they were straightforward. At that classy matchmaking place, I shudder with all the requirements, I think it would feel like having to interview and show off your material worth. I'll stick to Mr. Fangs way, even if it means 150 dates like that fellow Mr. Fang helped to eventually meet the one!
What a brilliant man! A kind, humble and respectful man! Just beautiful.
It is sad how the older generation pressure their kids to marry and have kids by a certain age. My parents were not like that at all. Marriage and kids do not guarantee happiness. I had 2 cousins who married at what they called the right age but are now divorced with a child. Some people love till the end but widow. Where do divorced and widowed people go? Are they at a dead end too?
i think its more like security and stability is the main concern lol rather than happiness. pressures of life ask them all their life how they gonna economically support their parents, grandparents, or even whole clan especially the era after the one child policy. who's gonna perpetuate the family name and all that and who's gonna take care of them when they're old. you see a lot of chinese parents who view their kids as property and investment so someone can take care of them when they're old. if those kids cant find someone and have children too, then no one will be there for them too.
By having kids in the right age is better because it is healthier and safer compared to too old/young age, but then again, you will not happy if your partner is really incompatible with you, partner will surely come fighting each other but if they still treasure their family, they will surely stay and surely there will times we call happy moment
It’s better to have a partner when ur getting older, what do u do if can’t get up and cook when ur sick in bed in ur 60s and single? As a married couple, u can hold hands to share the burden, pain and happiness of life. If ur single, you have to go through stuff alone without any help.
When you put Money/Financial consideration at the first place in marriage or relationship. Then that is no difference to Commercial life or do shopping.
I kind of agree with @xXxSkyViperxXx Like the old lady near the end was saying about her 40 yo daughter, it's ok if she wants to have fun, have kids or not but important to have someone to share life with when you get old. Maybe with stablity comes happiness at older ages and maybe oneday we'll realise this.
Tips about getting into a serious relationship: don't be superficial, trust me it'd only cause you or her or the both of you so much heartache in the long run. You don't want the headache trust me
no trust me, care about money and their spending habits, unless you want lifetime of anger. If they save money and help with housework and are kind, Then it will work out else, nah
a huge part of the problem is that both Chinese men and women have a set of expectations about one another, which can be a huge barrier for dating and more.
Happiness comes from within, if your not happy by yourself, you will not suddenly be happy because someone else. Maybe you will? Lol dafuq am I talking
VIP ONCExARMY To be fair you might be onto something. Many proverbs and sayings from philosophers talk about how people need to first find happiness in themselves if they expect to live happily. I mean, sure you can be happy with friends or someone your in a relationship with, but how will you do if there’s a point in time when your without them? Can you still manage to be happy and content by yourself even if for a while? Basically you’re never alone when your at peace and find enjoyment within yourself.
Lol literally the episode in "How I met your mother" the matchmaker a hahahha
3:30 The country is becoming so materialistic. When I was in college, I used to dream of touring Hong Kong, Shanghai, and Macau. But now I think I’d just get annoyed by how superficial they are.
150 woman in 8 years?it's a new level of picky.... if i remember correctly there are more man in china than woman right, because of 1 family 1 child policy back then.
He is a legend, because he does not put money before love. 👊😎👍
Incredible
200 million singles lmaoooo that's tufff
Rohit roy Bhai 50-60 lac toh India m bhi honge
@@raodyc usme se me bhi ek hu
I think they said 300 million
That's not counting the 300 million chinese men who can't find a wife.
好喜欢北京老爷子的善良淳朴
it didnt ask the question- who HE is with - and what his own relationship is like . if he was alone- i think that would make the story that more poignant.
They looked at the paper on the wall when they basically standing next to other people that put that same paper... jeeeee
Scary as the undertaker, we are meeting our matchmaker (Sorry I had to)
"Love brings pain"
A country with 3,000 years of history, now what's left there is money, and the greed for more money
Ironically it is officially communist.
Mit Romney should be a matchmaker in China
Its pretty much everywhere. Looks and money matter the most. That's a reality
The match maker god.
"1 is 1, 2 is 2" ah sigh.....those were the good 'ol days.
That statistic is misleading. 200 mil is under 15% of their population. US and UK is around 50%. It also doesn't show what their definition of single means.
Wow
The opposite of love.
If only they can speak a bit english then i guess then can find suitable for them maybe outside their country. Some of them are afraid of speaking foreign for they are not fluent and some don't know..
I’m sorry, but finding someone doesn’t mean you are finding happiness. You can find happiness within yourself, that’s what matters at the end of the day. It works for many people, but not everyone seeks a lover. I never had a boyfriend and I don’t want one, I am happy and content with myself. Boys are mean, so no thank you. I have no problems getting a boyfriend or boyfriends, but I chose not to. I have plenty of men asking me out to be their girlfriends, but I am not a tiny bit interested.
Interesting topic , like what this channel said the younger generation is gradually changing their outlooks on relationships and marriage which sad to say can resolve into conflict. Two reasons 1. Gender ratio deficiency, more males than females 2. It's not traditional anymore or morals for example on Al jeezara news 101 east look up boyfriends for rent in China , where they go on a site to rent a guy to spend time with and hang out with the girls family which in turn the parents didn't buy into it, knowing it was fake. Nevertheless word of wisdom love takes years of experience and moments of growth with that person both morally and mentally as well as passions. This is rather blind infatuation not love . So for more deeper understanding see documentaries - Al Jeezera 101 east - Boyfriends for rent in China and All the single men in China 📚📖📺
The Good Samaritan!
Take me please girl 😂
Well I think their was one mother who doesn't mind that her child doesn't get married or have kids Just someone to be with them so they won't be lonely
she's quite open-minded given her age & the society she's in!
It’s better to be single and carefree!
My aunt has this job
Marriage just isnt popular anymore. In this modern world women can earn and live like men...and men can have a study line of lovers. No one wants to be held down by marriages anymore...they look at it as an old means of survival...when now there are fertility banks, adoptions, surrogates and buying love...marriage is no longer a necessity for a happy life or a big family. For many people a single life is a stress free life...especially in certain countries...well the more wealthy nations at least. Unfortunately, because of this very issue many kids are also left without parents worldwide.😥
Chinese woman is cute and beautiful
It's not the end of the world. You get to do what you want without someone else's input or nagging 😋
In general Chinese women are the most SUPERFICIAL. More than American women they are concerned about a man's wealth, status and height. Rarely do they ask me about his artistic talents or character.
1hourOfLove 有车有房，父母双亡→the best
You mean women are superficial Its ok in every society for a woman to say short men are ugly and they only date men taller than themselves If you ask a woman about their weight you are the asshole Its ok for a woman to be a gold digger If a man is a "houseman" and his wife works hes a useless beta male
You gotta be a chinese man to understand a chinese women.
so you like to eat soft rice after your marriage. can you handle the soft rice.
Lol does artistic talent keep people fed? I get the character part but the art industry is one of the least paid and competitive industry.
Shadilaal Gharjode 😂😂😂
I am wondering how long has match making been in the history of humans
Hey mr. I need you to find a match for meeee hahhahahahah
I need one usa, ambw bwwm
I think one can have happiness without having a family. As long as their contented and lived their life to fullest, I think is enough.
Wealth is a pro-choice for every society. It’s fine. Height and character is second. It’s the typical norm.
Is this how they look for happiness? Not all married people are happy..And another thing, love cannot be bought, neither found, it is built. Matchmaking sucks.
I’ll marry the woman at 3:19 once i go to China.
I see a lot of people saying that these women can't be picky. Why not? We all have a right to pick guys based on what we value and just because your values don't match theirs doesn't make your values any better than theirs. Grow up people. Plus, there's a surplus of men in China so let them be picky. What effect does it have on your life if she's picky? It doesn't honestly. So why be bothered enough to say hatefuled comments?
can i apply? hahaha... just need someone to hug and hold hands with 😂😂 i'm 19..... 1988 was the year i was born 😂😂
Nice 1988
TrLoLiNg Bear 😉😁
Can’t help but feeling uncomfortable how he asserts in the end “you need to have a family first, then you’ll have a happy life” as if that’s an absolute rule people have to obey.
But its true though :)) you’ll see
Words of wisdom can sound square to the uninitiated
This is true, this new generation is totally brainwashed for thinking family doesnt bring hapiness, but that false ! Human is a social animal, he is absolutely need to be in contact with other human for his own life, and family is big part of that. When we saying family, its can be Mom, Dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, or husband/wife. Its necessary... even people who dont want to get married or simply find a partner in claiming that they want to stay single forever... thats false. They lying to themself... these people are not 100% happy in my opinion
I agree there's all different paths if happiness not just one.ppl who think you need to have a partner to be fullied and have a baby to be happy is so dumb.just leave ppl be and let them discover their own happiness in their own way.
It’s heavily based on culture. In China, filial piety is one of the cornerstones of what life is all about. Many countries, especially in East-Asia, follow this collectivist mindset. America is much more individualistic in thinking, so personal achievements tend to take higher priority in life compared to domestic life. But you know, you do not have to have children to have a family...marriage is enough.
I need one
imagine you have only one child because of one child policy and won't marry, that's the end of your bloodline.
Real life tinder... Tinder man
The poor people in China can only buy vietnam combodia or indonesia bridges, sad story
mei Yonosuke Wut u on about??!?
Joseph Stalin This report is all about high income Chinese,the poor Chinese in country side in China bought many bridges from SEA countries. And there are a lot of agency for this business in Vietnam and combodia.
Who would buy a bridge
everything is possible in this world
She meant "brides". The reason there is a huge number of single females in China is because the men goes to other countries and buy a bride. There are countless stories of women entering foreign marriages and getting abused, because they don't know a lick of the language or feeling the pressure of doing whatever the husband or his family wants. The women feel pressure to oblige due to the economic dependency.
what do you do when you're an American whose interested in Chinese Women but ,doesn't want to go to the dating websites..asking for a friend
How old are you singles?
Shallow Chinese . Money is their God .
Have a Nice Couple Life 💖💗💝
Are there matchmakers for gay people too?
Lalu nikah itu buat apa?
I need ur help grandpa
I can help you handsome boy
I would like to find me a young beautiful Chinese here
I just want an anime harem. Is that too much to ask for ?
No dentists in China?
叔叔 is OG
Craaaazyyy if a man has to married at 25 sorry but it was so toxic What's wrong of being single... That's not crime jezzzzz
Any tamil speaking people here. Ivanthan ya, modern மாமா!!
我嫁不出去 認命
A man or woman is incomplete with out each other. And parents knows this better so they are trying to make their child's life successful by searching a life partner after certain age. It's their responsibility.
Those are a bunch of high IQ people, perfect but no partners .
this is why many chinese businessmen do business in different countries and migrate if they find someone
well yeah even in my country, the preference is fellow person although we keep options up if person is great
ph
Pretty side face click bait ended up just another snobbish face on the commuter train.
Married was not find the perfect couple. But its was about sharing of imperfection for the perfect life.
Zhu Fang's a pretty poor matchmaker if it took his client 150 girls and 8 years before he found the one!
Gabriel Tam I’d imagine that’s his record...it’s probably an impossible client that most matchmakers would have given up on long ago
Im trying to find me a man🤣
Ooooo
I HATE DIVORCE
China has more men while Russia has more women. Any government intervention?
These womens must like money But I am not interested
I love China.
69 per cent
sick cultute
Im goin to asia find a wife
Ew.
Made in china
I want to match people...based on their astrology signs 😃
Well that escalated quickly.....
@@kingcolz *ohhhhhhhhhh*
It's sound right to me. But what is your star sign?
thats the dumbest thing ive heard today
You can retire now old man, tinder will do it for you
lol
Ah yes, more reasons as to why I chose to be a MGTOW
@Fenry Adamante lol triggered
Mark Dawson mgtow 4 life bro i got many siblings so idont need to get maried hhahaha no steess lmao
@mrblond188 No, marriage is for people who actually want commitment and have a strong ethic of willing to put in the work. See that's the thing, marriage is WORK, and this generation hates anything to do with work. They sit on their ass and want everything handed to them on a silver platter. They are cowards who have thin skins, and as soon as they face any kind of adversity they cry foul and curl up in their turtle shells and demand momma dearest get them a participation ribbon. Adults now a days have a very impractical view of marriage; they think relationships should be all sunshine and roses and when they get past that one month "honeymoon" stage and have their first fight, they break up and move on to the next fling. Marriage hasn't really changed, yes the purposes of marriage may have, but not the principles. It's the morality of society that has, and that is why there is a 50% divorce rate in the secular population of America.