The FULL segment about how women argue and why there's no reason to hit a woman from Bill Burr's show "You people are all the same"
Пікірлер
Real women don't hit men.
@Geralt--of--Rivia5 жыл бұрын
i just finished witcher 3. playing through ng+ worth my/your time?
@crazy__cripple87045 жыл бұрын
@@crazy__cripple8704 Was that your first playthrough?
@Geralt--of--Rivia5 жыл бұрын
@@Geralt--of--Rivia yup... including the 2 expansions
@crazy__cripple87045 жыл бұрын
@@crazy__cripple8704 Go for it, then. Witcher 3 has good replay value.
@Geralt--of--Rivia5 жыл бұрын
@@Geralt--of--Rivia You're a good bloke.
@----.__5 жыл бұрын
Rule #1: Don’t try to heckle a comedian. It’s like trying to punch an MMA fighter
@brianpraul97582 жыл бұрын
Rule #2: Don't try to punch an MMA fighter. It's like pulling a gun on a President
@rachekane2 жыл бұрын
@@rachekane Rule #3: Don't try to pull a gun on a President. It's like trying to slap the Undertaker
@dsakurai2 жыл бұрын
@@dsakurai Rule #4: Don't try to slap the Undertaker. It's like trying to hug a snake
@fabio52862 жыл бұрын
@@fabio5286 Rule #5: Don't try to hug a snake. It's like trying to avoid an ambush from Jake Roberts.
@lyrina31132 жыл бұрын
@@lyrina3113 Rule #6: Don’t try avoiding an ambush from Jake Roberts. It’s like racing against Usain Bolt.
@yaelmurillo18632 жыл бұрын
"You rub one out. It's the champagne of victory." Just an amazing piece of comedy. Punctuated with so many good lines.
@seanmulloy8546 ай бұрын
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
@edithbannerman44 ай бұрын
He is JUST AMAZING!!!!!
@Seriously...576Ай бұрын
I love the woman who screamed 'Everyday!!!' She made bill's joke so poignant
@shimanoafro5110 Жыл бұрын
Maybe she did it because she knew there were cameras but luckily it added to his bit perfectly.
@hunter4236 ай бұрын
Let's all have a moment of silence for the poor sap that has to go home with that one
@Ten_Thousand_Locusts6 ай бұрын
@@Ten_Thousand_Locusts Why? Can't she joke about it like we did?
@lainarte6 ай бұрын
@@lainarte was she joking though?
@Ten_Thousand_Locusts6 ай бұрын
@@Ten_Thousand_LocustsThat's true we should find out
@LukeVincent-xt4dz5 ай бұрын
Ah yes, the classic “I’m gonna piss him off, then play victim when he gets mad” routine.
@ggates53714 жыл бұрын
My mother does that to me and I am a woman.
@antonijajuric97343 жыл бұрын
EXACTLY
@mitchtrubisky9993 жыл бұрын
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@mitchtrubisky9993 жыл бұрын
Everytime
@TheTraditionalGolfer2 жыл бұрын
This doesn't get enough credit.
@positivelygrowing123212 жыл бұрын
it's weird seeing van gogh with two ears
@myrr995 жыл бұрын
Bro lol wut.
@alexthurow90325 жыл бұрын
Hahahaha great
@hugoguest67465 жыл бұрын
Bro wtf
@antoka12015 жыл бұрын
ok
@nm84095 жыл бұрын
n m νελληη
@antoka12015 жыл бұрын
"Ladies can you at least admit that every ass kicking doesn't just fall out of the sky". I lost it man.
@Simonio810 ай бұрын
😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂
@abdielrosero96852 ай бұрын
oh god I laughed so fuckin hard
@Fr3k318 күн бұрын
Still one of the greatest and most fearless comedy monologues of all time.
@virginiapicker Жыл бұрын
you wanna go to baskin robbins?
@Piitaa_Pain10 ай бұрын
@@Piitaa_Painyou buying?
@MrMb1678 ай бұрын
@@Piitaa_PainTUNA CASSEROLE? 😡👊👊💥
@traceesmith016 ай бұрын
"How come you can't ask questions? If I got bit by a rattlesnake wouldn't you guys have some questions? How did it happen? Did ya not see it? Were ya fuckin with it?? Firemen put out a fire they don't just drive away afterwards they sift through the debris. How did it start? Here's an oily rag!" Hmm. Now what situation? In the present-day? Hmm. What's happening rn? Hm...
@GodJustCopyPasteWhatISay6 ай бұрын
Agree 100%. This was remarkable.
@--pussypatroll--6 ай бұрын
That shit about how his wife slapped him upside the head then said "were gonna discuss this later when you calm down" made me so mad and it didn't even happen to me lol
@loganbibb22716 жыл бұрын
A year or so ago my wife thought I was mad at her for some reason. I wasn't, but she had it in her head that I was. So of course her reaction was to be a complete asshole to me for her own imagined reasons. In the matter of maybe 2 minutes she asks why I'm mad, I say I'm not, there's slight back and forth, and then she slams the bathroom door in my face. I completely lost it like I've never done before. I actually ended up punching a hole through the door and basically breaking it in two. I've had some anger issues in the past, but never like this (and never towards a person - usually dumb shit like technology). Women are absolute masters of pushing our buttons - and all because she THOUGHT I was angry at her for something. It's like they're so complicated within their own heads that they can't actually control it, and therefore they're all crazy.
@rjones68016 жыл бұрын
Logan Bibb I got put through a cinder block wall once...needless to say I still won the fight. Once though, my ex-wife was neglecting me for like 2 weeks and tried to use boobs to manipulate me off what I was doing. When I told her I didn't have time for that, she got pissed and I didn't care. Tldr; She punched me in the back of the head so hard I saw stars.... I threw my chair across the house and calmly said "if I did that to you, one of us would be going to jail right now... I suggest you go somewhere else right now."
@foxvulpes82456 жыл бұрын
The thing is, if both were men (i.e. a friend or bro, repeatedly annoying you for attention) then you'd give him some 'attention' where it hurts, and afterwards both are still cool because they know it was deserved, the the whole issue is resolved. Women just lack those "you brought it upon yourself"-neurons and will probably pass any lie-detector tests when they claim "I didn't do ANYTHING!"
@Radonatos6 жыл бұрын
Wow ... ya'll had bad experience
@margarethafalco636 жыл бұрын
Jay the Climber there is a comedian that kind of talks about that. His case for why Christians hate Gays, and his answer is because they found a loop hole. They don’t have to ever deal with women, and they get all the sex they want. Haha!
@theasian246016 жыл бұрын
“Have a rough day at the factory, come home ‘tuna casserole?!’ And just start swinging” 😂
@alecmccarthy55625 жыл бұрын
Alec McCarthy i read this right as he said it wtfff
@izzyalice9375 жыл бұрын
The way he says tuna casserole always kills me lmao
@ayy_lmao5 жыл бұрын
Hahaha I love Tuna Casserole
@Maksymetzmj5 жыл бұрын
@@Maksymetzmj do you swing after earing or before?
@loristnorton37234 жыл бұрын
F’n hilarious!
@tommydewitt85834 жыл бұрын
That woman who yelled “everyday” had one of those moments like in any sport where you have that magical shot without realizing it. The stars aligned
@RhapsodyinGlueАй бұрын
“Talking about hitting women sweet heart” gets me every time!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂
@northernking4787 Жыл бұрын
Raises a red flag yeah
@ericparrish1515Ай бұрын
"Rub one out... it's the champagne of victory." Greatest line ever!
@jaywilson45203 жыл бұрын
Honestly lmao
@zippysonmcgr84302 жыл бұрын
Damn! It's so freaking true!
@danielmerrell55342 жыл бұрын
Remember that one time when you did that bullshit!
@danielmerrell55342 жыл бұрын
I can see it.
@teariet.tekken-wolffenn58812 жыл бұрын
agreed
@kurtisdiston48512 жыл бұрын
I've told my wife "Maybe we should talk about it later when you have calmed down". I don't think I've ever seen her more visibly pissed off any other time for any other reason than after I said that.
@BrettonFerguson5 жыл бұрын
Tried this about a week ago. We live together, she's losing her shit, I said "When you want to have an adult conversation we'll talk." 3 days of no zero talking later I finally had to give the olive branch. There's no win
@tmccann18765 жыл бұрын
That's because you surrendered. You started on the moral high ground and then relented, giving in to an emotionally manipulative tyrant.
@iilhares5 жыл бұрын
LMFAO I love it
@josevillalobos5475 жыл бұрын
@@tmccann1876 why had you to give up? Fucking idiot
@Scarletraven875 жыл бұрын
Bretton Ferguson damn dude I feel this in my soul
@jeremyshipp44144 жыл бұрын
Could be the best live bit in comedy history when you take into consideration the material, the wording, the crowd interaction, and the overall execution. Bill executed his material like a seasoned vet and the woman who yelled, "EVERYDAY!!!" was a gift from the comedy gods because it fit so perfectly with his act. This is stand-up comedy at its finest.
@westcoastkidd177 ай бұрын
I just want to know if the same people applauding this clip would have the same reaction if this was a female comedian saying similar things about hitting men. "But what did he do that led to it?" and all that. Also even if they were meant to be jokes, it's easy to how they could have influence in a world where abuse of men by women isn't taken seriously enough.
@ChildrensRightsFirst9473 ай бұрын
@@ChildrensRightsFirst947yes, and I'd go on a limb that it would take much less finesse and comedic skill in order to pull that off like Bill here Hitting men is always funny, by default, no context needed Not saying I agree, just saying that's the way it is, men are the disposable sex, once they reach adulthood.
@MinosML21 күн бұрын
I genuinely love how he derives so much humor while simultaneously teaching real life lessons by simply calling out the sheer dumbassery that’s been accepted by mainstream society and logically breaking it down. The “no reason to hit a women” bit seems edgy but it’s simply calling out the sheer arrogance that women are somehow above reproach compared to men and men just have to accept that. It solves literally nothing about what led to that conflict in the first place and does nothing to prevent future conflicts.
@lukeschilperoort99342 жыл бұрын
Well said 👍
@timbaker80202 жыл бұрын
Because it's not designed to fix or prevent anything, it's designed for a gynocentric society
@ararune3734 Жыл бұрын
Women and men both hold women accountable for stuff....Remember the Johnny Depp trial? Women came out of the woodwork to support JD instead of AH. The truth is no one's holding men accountable like we should. Men are murdering and raping at at least 10 times the rate women do, and it's not talked about nearly enough because a lot of men want to stay in denial. Also religion is very sexist towards women, but we don't talk about that much either because a lot of men get angry when they hear about sexism and we can't have that! Lots of male snowflakes out there can't handle hearing facts.
@Anarcho-Communist895 Жыл бұрын
@Ararune we still live in pretty much male centric society
@1fromoutside Жыл бұрын
@1fromoutside in many ways we don't though. I think men just talk less in general. Complain less. Get listened to less. Women get significantly less jail time for the same crimes as men. God forbid a women wants to take the kids away from a man, she starts with the advantage.
@codywood1295 Жыл бұрын
Oh man, the shit he said about women losing arguments is so true.
@doggieGZ7 жыл бұрын
Oh yea.. They will start bringing up past issues which have no relation to the current argument because they have nothing else on you. As he said, you've won then.
@usarmyfl16 жыл бұрын
I LOVE IT!!!!
@Charmer48566 жыл бұрын
After I noticed that my mother does this with me, my sister, and my father, I lost a massive amount of respect for her. It makes her look childish, and it prolongs the issue that started the debate in the first place.
@prw566 жыл бұрын
my mother did this ..and its exactly why my whole family hates her .
@VuongNgocHieu996 жыл бұрын
Hiếu Vương Ngọc healthy relationship
@garintj15476 жыл бұрын
"There's a reason to hit everyone, JUST DONT DO IT. There's a reason to push an old man down a flight of stairs, JUST DON'T IT. Ain't nobody above an asswhopping." - Chris Rock
@Juggalo9725 жыл бұрын
Juggalo972 is do all of them🤔 down south we don’t play that shit. Man woman child .... raise em right or they’re getting slapped
@lt.generalofsalt42735 жыл бұрын
Nice 😊
@josephvonbulow11645 жыл бұрын
@Mildly Amusing Channel Asshole behavior needs to be punished. If it doesn't that shit is just going to get worse. People only change through pain.
@bright.light.sights9334 жыл бұрын
@Mildly Amusing Channel you can punish without violence, but sometimes a dude needs eat a elbow to know talking shit isn't acceptable
@bright.light.sights9334 жыл бұрын
Mildly Amusing Channel there’s a difference between discipline from abuse. Learn it.
@jamesphillips31354 жыл бұрын
After 22 years of marriage I discovered that winning an argument just makes your wife madder.
@alanw505 Жыл бұрын
It doesn't even have to be an argument. It can just be a minor disagreement, and she'll be mad at you if you're right and she's wrong. It doesn't even need to be important. "No, Burt Reynolds did not play Richard, Monica's boyfriend in Friends! That was Tom Selleck!" She Googled it, and wouldn't talk to me for hours!
@bowmaj866612 күн бұрын
100%. I had a buddy of mine actually got married last year. Didn't even last a fucking year because this.... Cretin he married, was as unstable as an out of balance scale. This woman destroyed him and he just took it all. When I was living with them, multiple times I thought to myself, "I wonder how she'd feel if I did the exact same to her?" About 3 months of that crap and I decided to move out. She kept needling me on why I was leaving, I told her she couldn't handle the truth, and low and behold, I was right. I didn't get a quarter of the way through my explanation and she loses her damn mind! It was ridiculous. Thankfully, my friend filed for divorce and is suing her for physical, mental and emotional damage. It's literally an open and shut case cuz I'm one of 5 witnesses
@midnightlupin1 Жыл бұрын
Glad you both got out - How did the court case go if you don't mind me asking?
@jonathanjrgensen67746 ай бұрын
@@jonathanjrgensen6774 Sadly he went back to her and dropped the divorce. He's no longer my friend but I did manage to get a settlement and she lost her job in the process of it all going down
@midnightlupin16 ай бұрын
@@midnightlupin1 You should try to tap that thing, bet it grabs back. Frankly it was the only thing that held us together. And I was right, so far every relationship after was not as good in the sack. Go for it, I'll bet she's up for a way to get back at her ex even if you're on her enemies list.
@theultimatemoderate81655 ай бұрын
@@theultimatemoderate8165 I would much rather put my genitals through a wood chipper than touch the lecherous troglodyte.
@midnightlupin15 ай бұрын
@@theultimatemoderate8165 I would much rather slather my genitals in honey and insert them into a box with poisonous hornets than put them anywhere near that. She's hideous on both the outside and inside. Plus I'd rather not get gonoherpasyphillus 27.
@midnightlupin13 ай бұрын
My wife was talking negative about my mother, each statement got worse and worse. When I defended my mother, and told her to stop talking smack about my mom, she asked me what good my mother ever taught me? I told her "She taught me to never hit a woman"! That shut her up!
@jerami1015 жыл бұрын
😂
@thebitgamer24255 жыл бұрын
ooooooö my fucking God legend
@felixr.41775 жыл бұрын
@@StandYourGroundHomestead I'm very concerned for the amount of Freud I feel from your comment. Are you sure you only love your mom as a parent?
@user-lb4bz8tu2k5 жыл бұрын
J Ron holy shit dude! You got serious issues
@JulianTimMusic5 жыл бұрын
sounds like a threat, i dont approve jerami
@AGreatDayForHockey295 жыл бұрын
The funniest line in this whole joke is “it’s gonna fuckin rust”. Gets me every time.
@davejohnson99893 жыл бұрын
His dog shaking off the morning cold 🥶😎
@classygary3 жыл бұрын
Mine is ‘were you fucking with it?’ 😂
@natwally78692 жыл бұрын
I love the whole set. Watched for years now and I still laugh just as hard
@bryceparascand28482 жыл бұрын
@@classygary The dog thing is actually a reference to an older joke, where the dog feeds off his anger, so like mans best friend doesn't know why dads mad but he's on his side so he's mad too. That's why the dug was shaking like a psycho, bill was raging and the dog was amping up right next to him lol
@adear27562 жыл бұрын
@@adear2756 exactly. was thinking about forwarding this to a friend and he wouldn't understand the dog thing, since he doesn't know the special :D
@arenasification2 жыл бұрын
Love how this bit has a woman positively heckle and another woman negatively heckle and they both just work great
@gokuxavi270 Жыл бұрын
I dated a woman that had no idea what respect or decency was. We'd be out in public and she'd be one of those "get all loud and make a scene" types. I'd always tell her that she's gonna end up getting me arrested because some drunk guy is gonna hear her and think he needs to put his two sense in and get assaulted in the process. I'd just walk away from where ever we were no matter where and leave her there for a while. She stabbed me with a key. Eventually yea, she got hit.
@dedgzus68082 жыл бұрын
Good. If she hit you first she had it coming.
@someidiotwithafryingpan3752 Жыл бұрын
Based
@_Cato_ Жыл бұрын
This is why you need to show you are the one with the leverage not them. Let them think if they fuck up they pay not you. It's not them leaving which is scary, it's you leaving. What woman, especially when they get older, is more valuable than the man? Think about it. Give attention to other girls.
@rockoyhead5 ай бұрын
@@_Cato_on a true story
@zackyzackyzacky15 ай бұрын
@@kellym8287 oh yea, I got outta there years ago
@dedgzus68084 ай бұрын
This guy should be a marriage counselor.
@dickdoug355 жыл бұрын
He is.
@righttoexplain5 жыл бұрын
HE IS! IM GETTING COUNSELING AS I WATCH!
@gunchief08115 жыл бұрын
I learned in my last marriage that marriage counseling is just paying someone to tell the husband how wrong he is, because they know damn well that they will never get anywhere with the wife.
@TheWartHawg5 жыл бұрын
@@TheWartHawg amen brother. Exactly what happened and continues to happen with my EX wife. They always work on the more reasonable one.
@ByWayOfDeception5 жыл бұрын
@@caitlinb.9596 Exactly why they work on the man. They've studied the experiences of others and have learned that a clam can't be reasoned with. Therefore the goal becomes perception manipulation and modification of the guy. If they can get the guy to live within the craziness of the woman, they have a win, and they know that's the only way they'll get it.
@TheWartHawg5 жыл бұрын
I’m a woman and I agree. I’ve seen (and heard) a lot of my male friends/colleagues get bullied by their partners. They took it because she’s a woman and these women had no empathy or respect especially when in public. Making fun of your man, demeaning him, yelling at him, slamming the door in their face wether in a room or car, whatever it is, it’s all disrespectful. There is a way to disagree. Don’t take advantage of this bias and abuse your position. Upsets me greatly because I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where both my mom and dad respected each other and argued like grown ups. Shameful what I’ve seen time and time again.
@workingwomannyc42162 жыл бұрын
I've never been more irritated than when people pretend to know what Equality is. when most people claim "equality" when it suits their agenda, whatever it may be. Equality is equality, a man is equal to a woman and vice versa, and no other way.
@ACertainGuy02 жыл бұрын
@@ACertainGuy0 equallity is when you punch her just as hard as any other guy
@ReptilianAnusWizzard2 жыл бұрын
im never letting sum chick ever disrespect me in public. if she wants to do in public everything can be handled right then and there
@rzwitdauncut2 жыл бұрын
I think the issue is people see that most physical abuse in relationship is done by men and so they think abuse is one sided towards men. When you take into account verbal abuse and emotional manipulation it isn't that one sided anymore. Also, it's an outdated mindset to only chalk it up to the difference in physical strength, because if that were the case then people could just walk away from abusive relationships, but they can't because their a psychological aspect to it that boxes them in.
@darrenfleming79012 жыл бұрын
Would you like to go out on a coffee date someday?
@tahmidjahin1792 жыл бұрын
“You rub one out, that’s the champagne of victory” I definitely felt that 😂😭🏆🍾🥂
@prlreviews17292 жыл бұрын
"I'm talking about hitting women, sweetheart, and I think you just added another reason!" 😆😂
@rohanserrao1372 жыл бұрын
I am a girl, I totally agree. Bill, The truthful savage.
@lekhapratap16525 жыл бұрын
Came 4 the Cookies XD lol
@lekhapratap16525 жыл бұрын
@@cameforthecookies6419 obliviously you don't get the humor but of well lol
@tdl4875 жыл бұрын
Are you single?
@rhapsodyinglue87585 жыл бұрын
That was clearly just a compliment for those who understand KZhead. "The over thinking is very strong with this one" lol
@rhapsodyinglue87585 жыл бұрын
*Noice* 😂 👌
@cameforthecookies64195 жыл бұрын
The most important moment of male progress in the last 20 years.
@NostalgiaMan2 жыл бұрын
Serious as a heart attack. How to argue saved my sanity and marriage
@hiwayhighway99252 жыл бұрын
Your right about that
@quentinparhiala94152 жыл бұрын
I H A T E Y O U
@fabioveloso34692 жыл бұрын
@TipsyBrothers only real beta males call other people on the internet who they don't know beta males.
@boston_nsca2 жыл бұрын
@@boston_nsca ironic of you to say
@MA-yu2ss2 жыл бұрын
Love it when he 'stirs the cauldron' with the mic stand at 10:23
@Stravinsky752 жыл бұрын
I didn't catch that the first time. Hilarious.😂
@juneperry79873 ай бұрын
I've listened to this bit dozens of times but it still never gets old
@jacksondowdle521711 ай бұрын
He's not wrong, lol. I love my gf very much but sometimes when she is losing an argument, she will bring up things that dont even pertain to our conversation....just to get an edge and sometimes it's really hurtful shit.
@ickymclicky3085 жыл бұрын
Why I carry a Zippo 😉
@jim22454 жыл бұрын
Tots m'gots.
@anypercentdeathless4 жыл бұрын
You might need counseling or break up, depending on how terrible the things she says are.
@AngelicBreath11114 жыл бұрын
Respect goes both ways, just let her know you dont need that shit and it needs to stop. Better to be single and rub one out than be with a woman who doesn't respect you.
@afterburned064 жыл бұрын
Icky Mclicky Dump the bitch!
@Rick_Sanchez_C137_4 жыл бұрын
Poor Johnny Depp. If only more people watched Bill Burr...
@dollaz8084 жыл бұрын
Then his case would’ve been worse. He should’ve never married the skank.
@DavidE_dos4 жыл бұрын
@@monicapyle id do more than that
@soulreaper55104 жыл бұрын
James Bond James you’d fuck anything that isn’t nailed down
@ComicWriter-ml3qt4 жыл бұрын
@@ComicWriter-ml3qt 😂😂😂
@soulreaper55104 жыл бұрын
@Jolyne Cujoh that's what he's saying
@Moonshine4493 жыл бұрын
I come back to this just to hear that woman yell in the break of the joke "EVERYDAY" and I swear Bill Burr is one of the most real comedians left out there today. That symphony, unplanned, moment of the crowd participating in the joke is what makes comedy, comedy. He expected that but didnt expect that comment, and the crowd delivered.
@daleschuls10202 жыл бұрын
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
@edithbannerman44 ай бұрын
“Worked like a charm. Worked like a charm!” “Even hockey has two minutes for instigating.” An underrated hilarious line.
@The_ZeroLine Жыл бұрын
My uncle got beat up, violently, by his now ex-girlfriend. The police arrived, came inside, and arrested him. Even though she was clearly the one at the scene who beat him up, the cops still took my uncle away to a temporary cell. Luckily, he was only fined but still, that's just fucked up.
@JeffarryLounder5 жыл бұрын
yikes
@aileenzhao79515 жыл бұрын
That's the shit going down now. The power women weild is outrageous. Your uncle, if arrested, is now part of a permanent database even if his records are "expunged" or "sealed".
@NobleNobbler5 жыл бұрын
+Jeffarry Fined? Fined for what?
@user-wl6bw3jl4n5 жыл бұрын
Chris V He was fined with “harassment” or some shit like that. They knew they couldn’t just fine him for straight up assault, because he didn’t do it. So they aimed lower and accused him of harassing her.
@JeffarryLounder5 жыл бұрын
Your uncle should’ve gone to see a doctor recorded the injuries and sue the county for a miss handling of justice
@Add1835 жыл бұрын
Cause of Bill Burr, I've started winning arguments. He's right gents, Bob and Weave
@qymaruh5 жыл бұрын
@Charles Martel even tho you are right 99.999999999999999%, there is the VERY rare time that a man will win and that's why he's named Chuck Norris...
@stonedjesus98874 жыл бұрын
@Charles Martel Bob and Weave.
@saucegodnas73184 жыл бұрын
The moment she goes rogue, you win. Do the Colin Kaepernick and take a knee.
@jasondyrkacz82704 жыл бұрын
@Charles Martel A "draw" is a win sometimes. At least she stopped talking about it.
@fiftystate13884 жыл бұрын
@@stonedjesus9887 Hey Adolph, you might like to hear how I stopped my ex-wife from calling me "The biggest asshole who was ever born." It's short and it worked.
@fiftystate13884 жыл бұрын
This aged really well
@sohamjoshi93532 жыл бұрын
I have a shitty temper and my wife also has one, so we agreed not to scream at our faces or even go over each other's voice when in close quarters. I appreciate a lot how much we both actually comply with it. Practical strategy simply works amazing. Even though we never had a physical discussion one can tell with our crappy tempers the best is too be conscious about it and create all possible barriers.
@razeru33862 жыл бұрын
Communication is key in a relationship? Who knew! Snarkiness aside, good to hear you are working out
@oz_jones Жыл бұрын
Wear a party hat when discussing tense stuff.
@christopher5200Ай бұрын
I was in a situation where I had no choice. It was my wife at the time. We got into an argument and she became very violent towards me in front of our kids. I didn't want my kids to see it so I tried to take them outside. My son was two years old at the time and she tried to snatch him away from me using a lot of force. She could have hurt him really bad. My gut reaction was to go into protective mode. I backhanded her and she slid half way across the house. She called the police and we both went to jail because we both had signs of an altercation on us. She took out a domestic violence order on me so to protect myself I took one out on her. When we finally went to court the judge looked at my ex and told her that I had the right and responsibility to protect my children from anyone including her. Dismissed my charge and asked me if I still wanted to press charges on her but I dropped them. If the situation were the same I would do it again but only to protect my children.
@jarrodheglar16663 жыл бұрын
Jarrod Heglar I’m glad the judge sided with you there. I
@BM-fz9yc3 жыл бұрын
You are a god good sir
@goonk61493 жыл бұрын
That judge...is the good judge.
@catsangblue3 жыл бұрын
i wouldnt drop the charges if i were there tbh
@nextdoorcatwhosecretlylike82703 жыл бұрын
That is rare. The father wins and deserved to. Awesome.
@denzelortiz73463 жыл бұрын
Lol I love the chick that screams “EVERYDAY”
@ArmandoMPR5 жыл бұрын
I wish my girl would say that shit while sitting next to me. Look at the type of shit women can get away with!
@369pendulum5 жыл бұрын
Daij Shut yo sexy ass up
@369pendulum5 жыл бұрын
@@369pendulum This escalated quickly..
@DracoGangLive5 жыл бұрын
I would like a friend like her
@jackspediceye99615 жыл бұрын
perfect timing.
@sdry5 жыл бұрын
This is my favorite bit. Not only did it get me hooked on burr, but it changed my life substantially in handling relationships. Love this guy
@murderburger1811 Жыл бұрын
“ we’re talking about hitting women sweetheart , and I think you just added another reason “ 😭💀
@terrancemitchell325611 ай бұрын
OMG, I died when the woman in the audience yelled, "EVERYDAY!!!!" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
@naimalovespizza53776 жыл бұрын
Naimal - The feeling's mutual, hon.
@erikbaran71975 жыл бұрын
Later that night, her husband beat her ass lol
@Mistanyycguy5 жыл бұрын
NaimaLovesPizza that was classic
@kingjaven135 жыл бұрын
NaimaLovesPizza And how they brought you back from the dead to comment this?
@DIZAZZO5 жыл бұрын
“IM NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AND SHES NAGGING ME!” 🤣 bill ur the best!!!
@chargersfan05605 жыл бұрын
In fairness the woman who shouted out actually said.... "It's her right".
@seanscanlon90674 жыл бұрын
@@seanscanlon9067 ahhh that makes sense. But kinda see how Bill cant hear her right its far from him. Still that made a wonderful impromptu joke from Bill!
@syedrahim61994 жыл бұрын
"Talking about hitting women, sweetheart, AND I THINK YOU JUST ADDED ANOTHER REASON!" 😂😂😂
@husasizzle4 жыл бұрын
@@seanscanlon9067 No she didn't. She stressed the first word, which does not match the statement you wrote.
@ihsahnakerfeldt92804 жыл бұрын
@@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 So what do you think was the first word there?
@seanscanlon90674 жыл бұрын
The woman who said "EVERY DAY!" rescued the joke.
@fiddleriddlediddlediddle2 жыл бұрын
No it didn't
@theodorerobert6579Ай бұрын
i always come back to this clip .....and it gets new everytime i watch it ....THIS IS GOLD
@kennethmichael57586 ай бұрын
"Rub one out like a man, it's the champagne of victory" - GENIUS!
@StonyRC7 жыл бұрын
StonyRC Yes
@girlspooptoo85676 жыл бұрын
StonyRC
@deanjenkins1656 жыл бұрын
I gotta say... that’s brilliant
@BouganvillaSeeds6 жыл бұрын
StonyRC Genius indeed
@davidarroyo33616 жыл бұрын
StonyRC Dude that is beautiful, like artistic even.
@baishihua6 жыл бұрын
8:00 "Come home 'TUNA CASSEROLE!' and just start swingin.." 😂😂😂😂 I'm in tears
@drake51185 жыл бұрын
Can someone explain this to me ? I'm not a native english speaker. i wanna know what it means, i bet it's hilarious.
@yaneyd935 жыл бұрын
@@yaneyd93 it doesn't really mean anything in particular, primarily just a piece of dark humor out of how America's domestic abuse can literally stem from the simplest of things, e.g. "Tuna casserole for dinner"
@drake51185 жыл бұрын
Thank you, i have just googled Tuna casserole and now i get it :D
@yaneyd935 жыл бұрын
@@yaneyd93 dimwit
@molostone89465 жыл бұрын
Molo Stone racist
@traviscrowell89465 жыл бұрын
I wish I had the chance of standing next to this guy just so that I can hear him talk, I love his sense of humor so much 😂
@sweetmar.y2 жыл бұрын
“Take a knee and run out the clock” Best advice ever! 😂
@christophernavarro94018 ай бұрын
Q:"Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?" A: "Being right makes me happy, darlin"
@peteeastwood16355 жыл бұрын
"Right or wrong, I'm right."
@fiftystate13884 жыл бұрын
Her: Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Me: Are you threatening me, master jedi?
@afmghost17593 жыл бұрын
If I'm ever in the court for hitting a woman, I want bill burr as my lawyer.
@sowen01233 жыл бұрын
And imagine if judge was woman there. 😂
@Latitz3 жыл бұрын
He won't represent you if you hit a woman. That's the whole point.
@MidoReigh3 жыл бұрын
@@MidoReigh his whole point is you shouldn’t just dismiss everything and focus on result. You have to actually look at what happened and lead to that point. He even says it “you cut out the build up and you’re left with the result. It’s crazy”
@armadylsmage66582 жыл бұрын
Lol
@OiVinn-eq1ml2 жыл бұрын
He will need a real law license not one from community college.
@pr1me8402 жыл бұрын
This is healing comedy at its best. Talking about things 90% of couples don't talk about, leading to 60% divorce rate and unhappy compromises of marriages of people too afraid to divorce.
@davidblairmusic2 жыл бұрын
I would never do it. Except. If she hits me first. Especially if she’s a stranger. If she hits me. She’s going down.
@mike.p.14008 ай бұрын
The headphones story is absolutely relatable. That shit is insane. Poke the bear like 10 times and then when the bear snaps they go, "Why are you so mad?" That or a similar stupid response.
@DCul2 жыл бұрын
agreed! it shows a painful degree of immaturity. That's just as petty and immature as walking around blasting the music, maybe even more!
@sohailsayeed93612 жыл бұрын
Gaslighting.
@hoosier30602 жыл бұрын
He pissed her off because he was being petty. She demanded to talk and he blew up.
@ghost2453532 жыл бұрын
@@ghost245353 she was petty first about the dog walking.
@lalanagunarathne72982 жыл бұрын
Unless someone hits you, you don't hit them, unless you are totally simple and incapable of a grown up response.
@pumpkinlyd44092 жыл бұрын
"We're talking about hitting women sweetheart....and I think you just added another reason." Lol haha that was one of the best comebacks towards a heckler.
@tayeelshaikh92286 жыл бұрын
Tayeb Elshaikh You should see the blind hecler and how bill turned it up. It's amazing
@leftheodo5 жыл бұрын
lmao, I think she wasn't talking to him.
@KandelaGC5 жыл бұрын
“EVERYDAAAAAYYY” had me dying
@amarevanhook74537 ай бұрын
“It’s gonna fuckin rust”. This is the funniest moment of this entire segment by far, and there are a lot in here. I find myself watching those few seconds on repeat quite often.
@michaelrey21592 жыл бұрын
Bill Burr is such a freak genius at wading into that gray area along the socially taboo and verboten and then just toying with that boundary in a hilarious way.
@pcolt42 жыл бұрын
I mean, you're right, but why is talking about how to handle relationships properly taboo? I think that Bill Burr has a lot of good social commentary too.
@laynaTheLobster2 жыл бұрын
My guy dives across the line and pulls it with him
@purplegoopguy2 жыл бұрын
yeah, he blew my mind 🖐👀
@Travelling..Bottle..Digger2 жыл бұрын
Burr, like Greg Giraldo are part of a very small group of comedians that can not only pull of pedophile jokes but, actually open with it....and nail it. Burr might not b the GOAT but....he might b.
@trentjacobs39572 жыл бұрын
@@trentjacobs3957 he definitely is the GOAT
@osio75282 жыл бұрын
My mother is a Hispanic. She was beat and abused by my father. She left him eventually. However she tells me this... Don't ever hit a women. You're a man and you're much stronger. However if a girl thinks she can just hit you over and over again cause she is a girl and can get away with it or wants to fight you like a man then you fight her like a man. Don't let any female place their hands on you like that.
@aliquidgaming10685 жыл бұрын
Why would she tell u the latter part? seems to have nothing to do with what she was going through
@aasdfaafa71105 жыл бұрын
@@aasdfaafa7110 Or maybe, she was telling him he has the right to defend himself, and he's not a punching bag for women. if a woman hits me, I'm hitting her back. Equality and all that. More people need to tell there worthless daughters it's not ok to put their hands on others.
@David-zx9nh5 жыл бұрын
@@aasdfaafa7110 she told me that cause she is sensible and knows a man and women should defend themselves. She doesn't think a man should ever place their hands on a female but if a female hits a man then that man has a right to defend themselves
@aliquidgaming10685 жыл бұрын
you have a good mother
@imlookinatyou52515 жыл бұрын
Your mom is an idiot.
@a464755 жыл бұрын
Bill Burr is funny ironic, truthful and wilfully self deprecating at the same time - that takes talent.
@kamilomar9134 Жыл бұрын
This is definitely one of my favorites from him. He brings up a lot of good points about one sided stories, and never asking questions when they need to be asked…. . Smart, smart man.
@MsaprillouiseАй бұрын
As a woman I can fully agree that there are many reasons to hit a woman
@zoeylolers10805 жыл бұрын
Zoey Lolers as Female myself I agree. Especially those who are emotionally imbalanced, loud, lack of manners and couldn’t respond with reasons but emotions.
@lsurech85595 жыл бұрын
Thelondonbadger have some faith and you will encounter a few good ones in life
@lsurech85595 жыл бұрын
No 1. Reason: playing fortnite battle royale
@neptune35695 жыл бұрын
@Daij I found one
@flatperson13065 жыл бұрын
@a wild baka good one. She just gave another reason why to want to hit a woman
@McDiculous505 жыл бұрын
I can't put it into words how happy I am that somebody finally said it. I've had ex's literally throw my own mother's death back into my face during an argument. If I ever even came close to saying something like that to a female people would burn my house down. If we truly want to be equals we need to address both sides of the curtain.
@HiddenTigerObviNinja3 жыл бұрын
God that's so fucked up. Imagine throwing the death of a close one into someone's face just because you're angry with them. The problem with the feminist cult is that it wants to have it both ways: equality for the good stuff (rights and privileges) but inequality for the bad stuff and the responsibility (e.g. being fair game for a beat up). They always oscillate between these two positions according to the situation so that they always end up with the advantage.
@ihsahnakerfeldt92803 жыл бұрын
You gotta get those bitche$ out, they are way too toxic to be involved with
@ALJ90002 жыл бұрын
I have this everytime i argue with my partner she can be very toxic......
@TheTraditionalGolfer2 жыл бұрын
@@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 It's not right for a woman to beat a man just like it's not right for a man to beat a woman. I see the double standard when it comes to women being violent towards men and it's disgusting, but just because women want equality shouldn't mean they are "fair game to for a beat up" because nobody should be beating anyone at all. Period. Nobody should be considered "fair game" because there shouldn't be a game in the first place. If you think that it's justifiable that people should be beaten for reasons other than protection, then you're siding with the women who get away with being violent towards men. I agree with your other statements, but I just wanted to put in my two cents on that one.
@crystaleunoia39742 жыл бұрын
Bill has done a thing about equality like that too. Worth watching.
@marcant62232 жыл бұрын
He brings in a good point, asking questions and understanding what led to it in the first place is the first step towards ending it
@philosophyandhappiness20012 ай бұрын
"I'm starting to turn this franchise around" lol. Makes me bust out into laughter everytime!!
@dancarnahan1919 Жыл бұрын
"Are you the idiot that walked in halfway through the special?" 😂 Imagine paying to watch a special and getting called out for your BS in front of the crowd.
@uncle_cezar3 жыл бұрын
Pretty sure tapings are free
@denimchicken1042 жыл бұрын
@@denimchicken104 Nah everyone would come and ruin the show
@wokeil2 жыл бұрын
The dude roasted a random person lol I would of left
@redrich76792 жыл бұрын
@@denimchicken104 Narrator: "They aren't."
@vanimaladventures2 жыл бұрын
@@redrich7679 its a comedy set. gotta have atleast a little thick skin to not get offended every 12 seconds
@padraigdonelan2 жыл бұрын
“She’s not even in a relationship with me, and she’s nagging me!” 👍
@markturney88435 жыл бұрын
*"I'm not even in a relationship with her, and she's fucking nagging me!"*
@polymathtutoring12925 жыл бұрын
@@polymathtutoring1292 Pay attention meat head you saying the same shit he said...😐
@SonicTheHedgeRat5 жыл бұрын
I feel like that was just a misunderstanding
@iBloodxHunter5 жыл бұрын
@@iBloodxHunter reference to 8 Mile lol
@noahvburk5855 жыл бұрын
@@SonicTheHedgeRat I literally just got done watching the ending battles lol
@ycnthegod27185 жыл бұрын
This is his best set, by far my fav,
@blue7lvn2458 ай бұрын
I think I’ve watched this 20+ times
@JEFFBLACK042 жыл бұрын
When woman says she doesn't want to talk about it, she really does. When a MAN says he doesn't want to talk damnit he doesn't want to talk.
@quentinwooten305 жыл бұрын
When a woman says “I don’t want to talk about it” I’ll ask if they’re sure. They still say “no”, well I’m out of there I’m not playing games. They’re only hurting themselves when they inevitably say some bullshit later about how nobody keeps in touch and makes sure they’re alright or anything.
@ChimericWhite5 жыл бұрын
I actually don't want to talk about it. Mom didn't teach me how to talk about stuff.
@CIorox_BIeach4 жыл бұрын
@@CIorox_BIeach dude I dont know if you see this or not but my mom is always like messing me up amd when I am going to do something that hurts her because I cant stand her like leave the house (I know that she doesn't want me to leave and one time I keep asking her if she wanted me to stay she was saying like YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT I DONT CARE but I was persistent and she finaly said I dont want you to leave ) another time I just left the house and she told my brother to tell me to come back wtf is wrong with women I love them but they are hurting my feelings so much ) thanks for everyone listening to this I just wanted to tell it !
@itsamemario65394 жыл бұрын
Its a me Mario I’m a woman and i totally feel what you are saying!! We’re sorry ok lol
@prettybabyface73134 жыл бұрын
@@prettybabyface7313 it's not right, and it hurts :(
@lockandloadlikehell4 жыл бұрын
One important point that is rarely talked about is: Men are quite often victims of domestic violence, too. And women are quite often the abuser. In the 2 1/2 years I worked as a paramedic i saw 6 victims of domestic violence. 2 were women who were abused by men, one of them later died of her horrible injuries. 2 were a lesbian couple who had kicked the shit out of each other. 2 were men who were abused by women. One of these men had been draged straight out of a drug rehab facility by his girlfriend, forcefully filled up with vodka until he couldn't defend himself anymore and then repeatedly whiped with a powercord, burned and hit with a pressing iron and stabed in the leg with a screwdriver. Guess who got made fun of for beeing pathetic weeklings. Guess who has next to no safehouses and help programs to escape from the violence. This is just my personal observation and has no empirical value whatsoever! But I think any program about domestic violence, that concludes "Men shouldn't hit women" isn't addressing the whole problem.
@MacBorin5 жыл бұрын
are you sure that you didn't also see two who were gay men who beat each other?
@phuck86275 жыл бұрын
@@phuck8627 Gay dudes beat each other every night
@skepticmonkey69235 жыл бұрын
@@skepticmonkey6923 hahaha classic
@jelindy55 жыл бұрын
So sad. No Matter what gender. Keep YO Hands to yourselves ladies! No matter how badly you feel betrayed! Keep It pushin or fall victim to what they say about US! 😎 We need to learn how to DEAL! Without D extra DRAMA!!! Life to short People!😉 Be true to YOU! #Dont Hit Unless U Want 2 B Hit BACK!!!
@keepitreal19995 жыл бұрын
Exactly, because gender don't make assholes. You have assholes everywhere in every faces, and it's ridiculous to separate this kind of thing like that.
@damebucolique5 жыл бұрын
that cauldron stirring at 10.25 killed me 🤣
@anthonymcgrath Жыл бұрын
"Just take a knee and run out the clock". Priceless, Grammy worthy advice.
@tomhecht606819 күн бұрын
“TUNA CASSEROLE!” I don’t why but it’s always that line that got me busting out laughing 💀💀😭😭😂😂😂
@darnell78713 жыл бұрын
08:00 😂😂😂
@josephleonard66953 жыл бұрын
Hahaha, same. I came to watch just for that bit
@tomsmusic20493 жыл бұрын
@@stevendip5318 casserole is usually seen as leftovers and usually microwaved. it being tuna makes it even worse. not much to explain if you think about it for 2 seconds
@asdasd-rp9hx2 жыл бұрын
Lmfao to this day might be the funniest 2 seconds of any stand-up comedy. Still the best overall segment of all time.
@Oozywolf2 жыл бұрын
I'm Wheezing
@ngseverything51302 жыл бұрын
“Even hockey has 2 minutes for instigating” 😆
@nickm88745 жыл бұрын
Bill wasn't lying. That's an actual penalty in hockey.
@jasondyrkacz82705 жыл бұрын
Jason Dyrkacz yes I know. It just amuses me greatly as an analogy
@nickm88745 жыл бұрын
if it’s not a mutual decision, you shouldn’t throw hands
@bryce64458 ай бұрын
This is amazingly relevant now that the Depp vs. Heard case is ongoing.
@evangelostse24772 жыл бұрын
The real comedy is the fact that we laugh more when something real and true is being said. This was as down to Earth true as possible and it was hillarious.
@ardvark846 жыл бұрын
ardvark84 "tuna casserole! And start swinging"
@achilles51995 жыл бұрын
And that sums up the genius of Bill Burr.
@TonyRule5 жыл бұрын
he's saying what we're thinking
@clonesquad48747 жыл бұрын
Clone Squad I WAS THINKIN IT AND THEN YOU SAID IT
@tjrizvi2516 жыл бұрын
Tj Rizvi we’re all connected
@captaf16 жыл бұрын
+Art we are one. We are one. We are one.
@213213yoyo6 жыл бұрын
djjazzyjeff123 now that’s hitting the head on the nail. Makes me want to be a comedian. What better way to vent. Lol
@codycall65135 жыл бұрын
Clone Squad bill burr us secretly a geniuses
@yaboirequis5 жыл бұрын
One of the absolute best...EVER!
@D.Antony8 ай бұрын
Perfect cut from that set.
@seriousseriosity40552 жыл бұрын
Bill Burr Sur, on behalf of all Men the world over, we salute you
@nickcifarelli88875 жыл бұрын
Salute
@josephfernandez57064 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your service, Bill
@rickyalfaro44174 жыл бұрын
Salut.
@anypercentdeathless4 жыл бұрын
*Sir.
@somerandomarmydude4 жыл бұрын
Salute
@xcool71694 жыл бұрын
Rub one out. It's the champagne of victory! Brahh.. 😂😂😂😂😂
@hahahehehoho81915 жыл бұрын
Martian post nut clarity
@oz_jones5 жыл бұрын
literally shaking the bottle
@aysn22775 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@Jacob-if4et3 жыл бұрын
Bill is so right about the way women argue.
@RG-zp2qw Жыл бұрын
That heckler "answer him right" had me in stitches. @6:00
@brianandres64743 ай бұрын
the woman yelling ANSWER HIM was the best way i seen somebody turn awkward crowd input into what i assume was a standing ovation
@kalilstukes27292 жыл бұрын
i was so confused at that part whyd he roast her like that
@BenAri182 жыл бұрын
@@BenAri18 Yeah, now that I'm watching it again I think she actually said that in support of Burr.
@roelfkromhout2 жыл бұрын
@@roelfkromhout yeh same i was like bruh im pretty sure she was w ur bill
@BenAri182 жыл бұрын
@@BenAri18 because he was bombing and went after her
@georgewashington57462 жыл бұрын
I honestly think she was a plant from Bill. The timing was fucking priceless.
@fireboltinc57122 жыл бұрын
“itsGONNAfucKINGRUST”
@awfulbill92835 жыл бұрын
Bee Godly agree funniest line. Dean AUstralia
@drm25665 жыл бұрын
bill is just such a gem
@awfulbill92835 жыл бұрын
"Tuna casserole and just start swingin" is my favourite line lol.
@kristophergap175 жыл бұрын
1:33 this shout "every day!" always cracks me up
@wozzup08 Жыл бұрын
"Answer him right" woman got owned. 😂😂😂
@gotur4 ай бұрын
I want to say, as a woman, I say yes that a woman can be hit ONLY if she attacks you first, same goes for a man. IF someone dares attack you first, you have every right to hit them back regardless of gender.
@lillydachicOfficial5 жыл бұрын
That could be true, but if a man hits back, he has to make sure he hits back with equal or less force. Problem is men are much stronger so it could get ugly real quick. Even a if he just pushed her she could get shaken real bad.
@murilocruz77525 жыл бұрын
Agreed but Bills point still stands
@michaelrivera22125 жыл бұрын
Murilo Cruz if she doesn’t want to get wrecked, don’t punch first. Simple as that, if it’s that bad, just break up or divorce. Just my opinion.
@jackonotobacco52885 жыл бұрын
Yeah I agree. Inflicting physical violence is just asking for it. 99% of the time though men will be penalized.
@murilocruz77525 жыл бұрын
you cant really limit that, If a skinny guy picks a fight with some bodybuilder, he knows what he's getting into and knows the odds aren't in his favor, so do most woman when engaging a man.
@XxSteamStreamxX5 жыл бұрын
"Even hockey has 2 minutes for instigating" LMAO
@rightcoast70494 жыл бұрын
It's true though. Hockey does have a penalty for instigating.
@jasondyrkacz82704 жыл бұрын
There is an oooold hockey game for MS-DOS (probably other ports as well) called Faceoff that has a 30 sec penalty for "losing the fight". Still cracks me up.
@oz_jones2 жыл бұрын
@@oz_jones haha, I used to play that on my old Nintendo. Couple of times it would end up in a real fight between my stepbrother and I.
@stephenmiller23372 жыл бұрын
I think the game was Mario lemieux hockey or blades of steel where whoever lost a fight was penalized 2 min and the winning team had a power play lol. I thought that was great. Great incentive to win a fight other than the obvious.
@chrisrhorer85242 жыл бұрын
The way he uses the mic stand to stir the cauldron is straight-up *chef's kiss*
@darinheinz25543 күн бұрын
Can opener gonna fu*king rust 😂😂😂
@aquaholicdrinks53966 ай бұрын
bill burr - "why can you only ask questions about what the guy did and not the woman, why is that?" the woman responded by saying "It's her Right", as in her right to not be asked questions. LMFAO so stupid.
@joshsullivan85275 жыл бұрын
Gender "equality"
@kaydenbreak89885 жыл бұрын
The chattering cuntfussing of ideologically possessed demons.
@jevans45385 жыл бұрын
Don't matter what is said! Folks will always find something to complain about! The shit is TRUE ! And so funny!!!!
@keepitreal19995 жыл бұрын
She probably also thinks it's her right to murder babies.
@christianw68195 жыл бұрын
'Answer him right'. Means talk to him properly.
@jumhed9944 жыл бұрын
Bill: "I just ghosted her" Every other Man on the planet: "I gotta tell ya, worked like a charm"
@srettamevilabeing13233 жыл бұрын
gotta love the 420 likes. Lets hope it lasts
@stephaanjacques22692 жыл бұрын
In fact, ghosting a woman solves all your life problems, I've tested if a few times myself. I'll take the champagne of victory over needless migraine
@ararune3734 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for opening up about this! Shines the light on the whole situation of NEVER asking for both sides of the story and instantly automatically assuming the Man is 100% guilty and the woman is innocent... Bullshit double-standard!
@bangazondeck58772 жыл бұрын
Take a knee and run out the clock! Brilliant line, and I'm going to be dropping hints of this so many times for work crap, the general toxic person out there, teaching my kids how to deal with their problems gracefully, etc.
Real women don't hit men.
i just finished witcher 3. playing through ng+ worth my/your time?
@@crazy__cripple8704 Was that your first playthrough?
@@Geralt--of--Rivia yup... including the 2 expansions
@@crazy__cripple8704 Go for it, then. Witcher 3 has good replay value.
@@Geralt--of--Rivia You're a good bloke.
Rule #1: Don’t try to heckle a comedian. It’s like trying to punch an MMA fighter
Rule #2: Don't try to punch an MMA fighter. It's like pulling a gun on a President
@@rachekane Rule #3: Don't try to pull a gun on a President. It's like trying to slap the Undertaker
@@dsakurai Rule #4: Don't try to slap the Undertaker. It's like trying to hug a snake
@@fabio5286 Rule #5: Don't try to hug a snake. It's like trying to avoid an ambush from Jake Roberts.
@@lyrina3113 Rule #6: Don’t try avoiding an ambush from Jake Roberts. It’s like racing against Usain Bolt.
"You rub one out. It's the champagne of victory." Just an amazing piece of comedy. Punctuated with so many good lines.
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
He is JUST AMAZING!!!!!
I love the woman who screamed 'Everyday!!!' She made bill's joke so poignant
Maybe she did it because she knew there were cameras but luckily it added to his bit perfectly.
Let's all have a moment of silence for the poor sap that has to go home with that one
@@Ten_Thousand_Locusts Why? Can't she joke about it like we did?
@@lainarte was she joking though?
@@Ten_Thousand_LocustsThat's true we should find out
Ah yes, the classic “I’m gonna piss him off, then play victim when he gets mad” routine.
My mother does that to me and I am a woman.
EXACTLY
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Everytime
This doesn't get enough credit.
it's weird seeing van gogh with two ears
Bro lol wut.
Hahahaha great
Bro wtf
ok
n m νελληη
"Ladies can you at least admit that every ass kicking doesn't just fall out of the sky". I lost it man.
😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂
oh god I laughed so fuckin hard
Still one of the greatest and most fearless comedy monologues of all time.
you wanna go to baskin robbins?
@@Piitaa_Painyou buying?
@@Piitaa_PainTUNA CASSEROLE? 😡👊👊💥
"How come you can't ask questions? If I got bit by a rattlesnake wouldn't you guys have some questions? How did it happen? Did ya not see it? Were ya fuckin with it?? Firemen put out a fire they don't just drive away afterwards they sift through the debris. How did it start? Here's an oily rag!" Hmm. Now what situation? In the present-day? Hmm. What's happening rn? Hm...
Agree 100%. This was remarkable.
That shit about how his wife slapped him upside the head then said "were gonna discuss this later when you calm down" made me so mad and it didn't even happen to me lol
A year or so ago my wife thought I was mad at her for some reason. I wasn't, but she had it in her head that I was. So of course her reaction was to be a complete asshole to me for her own imagined reasons. In the matter of maybe 2 minutes she asks why I'm mad, I say I'm not, there's slight back and forth, and then she slams the bathroom door in my face. I completely lost it like I've never done before. I actually ended up punching a hole through the door and basically breaking it in two. I've had some anger issues in the past, but never like this (and never towards a person - usually dumb shit like technology). Women are absolute masters of pushing our buttons - and all because she THOUGHT I was angry at her for something. It's like they're so complicated within their own heads that they can't actually control it, and therefore they're all crazy.
Logan Bibb I got put through a cinder block wall once...needless to say I still won the fight. Once though, my ex-wife was neglecting me for like 2 weeks and tried to use boobs to manipulate me off what I was doing. When I told her I didn't have time for that, she got pissed and I didn't care. Tldr; She punched me in the back of the head so hard I saw stars.... I threw my chair across the house and calmly said "if I did that to you, one of us would be going to jail right now... I suggest you go somewhere else right now."
The thing is, if both were men (i.e. a friend or bro, repeatedly annoying you for attention) then you'd give him some 'attention' where it hurts, and afterwards both are still cool because they know it was deserved, the the whole issue is resolved. Women just lack those "you brought it upon yourself"-neurons and will probably pass any lie-detector tests when they claim "I didn't do ANYTHING!"
Wow ... ya'll had bad experience
Jay the Climber there is a comedian that kind of talks about that. His case for why Christians hate Gays, and his answer is because they found a loop hole. They don’t have to ever deal with women, and they get all the sex they want. Haha!
“Have a rough day at the factory, come home ‘tuna casserole?!’ And just start swinging” 😂
Alec McCarthy i read this right as he said it wtfff
The way he says tuna casserole always kills me lmao
Hahaha I love Tuna Casserole
@@Maksymetzmj do you swing after earing or before?
F’n hilarious!
That woman who yelled “everyday” had one of those moments like in any sport where you have that magical shot without realizing it. The stars aligned
“Talking about hitting women sweet heart” gets me every time!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂
Raises a red flag yeah
"Rub one out... it's the champagne of victory." Greatest line ever!
Honestly lmao
Damn! It's so freaking true!
Remember that one time when you did that bullshit!
I can see it.
agreed
I've told my wife "Maybe we should talk about it later when you have calmed down". I don't think I've ever seen her more visibly pissed off any other time for any other reason than after I said that.
Tried this about a week ago. We live together, she's losing her shit, I said "When you want to have an adult conversation we'll talk." 3 days of no zero talking later I finally had to give the olive branch. There's no win
That's because you surrendered. You started on the moral high ground and then relented, giving in to an emotionally manipulative tyrant.
LMFAO I love it
@@tmccann1876 why had you to give up? Fucking idiot
Bretton Ferguson damn dude I feel this in my soul
Could be the best live bit in comedy history when you take into consideration the material, the wording, the crowd interaction, and the overall execution. Bill executed his material like a seasoned vet and the woman who yelled, "EVERYDAY!!!" was a gift from the comedy gods because it fit so perfectly with his act. This is stand-up comedy at its finest.
I just want to know if the same people applauding this clip would have the same reaction if this was a female comedian saying similar things about hitting men. "But what did he do that led to it?" and all that. Also even if they were meant to be jokes, it's easy to how they could have influence in a world where abuse of men by women isn't taken seriously enough.
@@ChildrensRightsFirst947yes, and I'd go on a limb that it would take much less finesse and comedic skill in order to pull that off like Bill here Hitting men is always funny, by default, no context needed Not saying I agree, just saying that's the way it is, men are the disposable sex, once they reach adulthood.
I genuinely love how he derives so much humor while simultaneously teaching real life lessons by simply calling out the sheer dumbassery that’s been accepted by mainstream society and logically breaking it down. The “no reason to hit a women” bit seems edgy but it’s simply calling out the sheer arrogance that women are somehow above reproach compared to men and men just have to accept that. It solves literally nothing about what led to that conflict in the first place and does nothing to prevent future conflicts.
Well said 👍
Because it's not designed to fix or prevent anything, it's designed for a gynocentric society
Women and men both hold women accountable for stuff....Remember the Johnny Depp trial? Women came out of the woodwork to support JD instead of AH. The truth is no one's holding men accountable like we should. Men are murdering and raping at at least 10 times the rate women do, and it's not talked about nearly enough because a lot of men want to stay in denial. Also religion is very sexist towards women, but we don't talk about that much either because a lot of men get angry when they hear about sexism and we can't have that! Lots of male snowflakes out there can't handle hearing facts.
@Ararune we still live in pretty much male centric society
@1fromoutside in many ways we don't though. I think men just talk less in general. Complain less. Get listened to less. Women get significantly less jail time for the same crimes as men. God forbid a women wants to take the kids away from a man, she starts with the advantage.
Oh man, the shit he said about women losing arguments is so true.
Oh yea.. They will start bringing up past issues which have no relation to the current argument because they have nothing else on you. As he said, you've won then.
I LOVE IT!!!!
After I noticed that my mother does this with me, my sister, and my father, I lost a massive amount of respect for her. It makes her look childish, and it prolongs the issue that started the debate in the first place.
my mother did this ..and its exactly why my whole family hates her .
Hiếu Vương Ngọc healthy relationship
"There's a reason to hit everyone, JUST DONT DO IT. There's a reason to push an old man down a flight of stairs, JUST DON'T IT. Ain't nobody above an asswhopping." - Chris Rock
Juggalo972 is do all of them🤔 down south we don’t play that shit. Man woman child .... raise em right or they’re getting slapped
Nice 😊
@Mildly Amusing Channel Asshole behavior needs to be punished. If it doesn't that shit is just going to get worse. People only change through pain.
@Mildly Amusing Channel you can punish without violence, but sometimes a dude needs eat a elbow to know talking shit isn't acceptable
Mildly Amusing Channel there’s a difference between discipline from abuse. Learn it.
After 22 years of marriage I discovered that winning an argument just makes your wife madder.
It doesn't even have to be an argument. It can just be a minor disagreement, and she'll be mad at you if you're right and she's wrong. It doesn't even need to be important. "No, Burt Reynolds did not play Richard, Monica's boyfriend in Friends! That was Tom Selleck!" She Googled it, and wouldn't talk to me for hours!
100%. I had a buddy of mine actually got married last year. Didn't even last a fucking year because this.... Cretin he married, was as unstable as an out of balance scale. This woman destroyed him and he just took it all. When I was living with them, multiple times I thought to myself, "I wonder how she'd feel if I did the exact same to her?" About 3 months of that crap and I decided to move out. She kept needling me on why I was leaving, I told her she couldn't handle the truth, and low and behold, I was right. I didn't get a quarter of the way through my explanation and she loses her damn mind! It was ridiculous. Thankfully, my friend filed for divorce and is suing her for physical, mental and emotional damage. It's literally an open and shut case cuz I'm one of 5 witnesses
Glad you both got out - How did the court case go if you don't mind me asking?
@@jonathanjrgensen6774 Sadly he went back to her and dropped the divorce. He's no longer my friend but I did manage to get a settlement and she lost her job in the process of it all going down
@@midnightlupin1 You should try to tap that thing, bet it grabs back. Frankly it was the only thing that held us together. And I was right, so far every relationship after was not as good in the sack. Go for it, I'll bet she's up for a way to get back at her ex even if you're on her enemies list.
@@theultimatemoderate8165 I would much rather put my genitals through a wood chipper than touch the lecherous troglodyte.
@@theultimatemoderate8165 I would much rather slather my genitals in honey and insert them into a box with poisonous hornets than put them anywhere near that. She's hideous on both the outside and inside. Plus I'd rather not get gonoherpasyphillus 27.
My wife was talking negative about my mother, each statement got worse and worse. When I defended my mother, and told her to stop talking smack about my mom, she asked me what good my mother ever taught me? I told her "She taught me to never hit a woman"! That shut her up!
😂
ooooooö my fucking God legend
@@StandYourGroundHomestead I'm very concerned for the amount of Freud I feel from your comment. Are you sure you only love your mom as a parent?
J Ron holy shit dude! You got serious issues
sounds like a threat, i dont approve jerami
The funniest line in this whole joke is “it’s gonna fuckin rust”. Gets me every time.
His dog shaking off the morning cold 🥶😎
Mine is ‘were you fucking with it?’ 😂
I love the whole set. Watched for years now and I still laugh just as hard
@@classygary The dog thing is actually a reference to an older joke, where the dog feeds off his anger, so like mans best friend doesn't know why dads mad but he's on his side so he's mad too. That's why the dug was shaking like a psycho, bill was raging and the dog was amping up right next to him lol
@@adear2756 exactly. was thinking about forwarding this to a friend and he wouldn't understand the dog thing, since he doesn't know the special :D
Love how this bit has a woman positively heckle and another woman negatively heckle and they both just work great
I dated a woman that had no idea what respect or decency was. We'd be out in public and she'd be one of those "get all loud and make a scene" types. I'd always tell her that she's gonna end up getting me arrested because some drunk guy is gonna hear her and think he needs to put his two sense in and get assaulted in the process. I'd just walk away from where ever we were no matter where and leave her there for a while. She stabbed me with a key. Eventually yea, she got hit.
Good. If she hit you first she had it coming.
Based
This is why you need to show you are the one with the leverage not them. Let them think if they fuck up they pay not you. It's not them leaving which is scary, it's you leaving. What woman, especially when they get older, is more valuable than the man? Think about it. Give attention to other girls.
@@_Cato_on a true story
@@kellym8287 oh yea, I got outta there years ago
This guy should be a marriage counselor.
He is.
HE IS! IM GETTING COUNSELING AS I WATCH!
I learned in my last marriage that marriage counseling is just paying someone to tell the husband how wrong he is, because they know damn well that they will never get anywhere with the wife.
@@TheWartHawg amen brother. Exactly what happened and continues to happen with my EX wife. They always work on the more reasonable one.
@@caitlinb.9596 Exactly why they work on the man. They've studied the experiences of others and have learned that a clam can't be reasoned with. Therefore the goal becomes perception manipulation and modification of the guy. If they can get the guy to live within the craziness of the woman, they have a win, and they know that's the only way they'll get it.
I’m a woman and I agree. I’ve seen (and heard) a lot of my male friends/colleagues get bullied by their partners. They took it because she’s a woman and these women had no empathy or respect especially when in public. Making fun of your man, demeaning him, yelling at him, slamming the door in their face wether in a room or car, whatever it is, it’s all disrespectful. There is a way to disagree. Don’t take advantage of this bias and abuse your position. Upsets me greatly because I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where both my mom and dad respected each other and argued like grown ups. Shameful what I’ve seen time and time again.
I've never been more irritated than when people pretend to know what Equality is. when most people claim "equality" when it suits their agenda, whatever it may be. Equality is equality, a man is equal to a woman and vice versa, and no other way.
@@ACertainGuy0 equallity is when you punch her just as hard as any other guy
im never letting sum chick ever disrespect me in public. if she wants to do in public everything can be handled right then and there
I think the issue is people see that most physical abuse in relationship is done by men and so they think abuse is one sided towards men. When you take into account verbal abuse and emotional manipulation it isn't that one sided anymore. Also, it's an outdated mindset to only chalk it up to the difference in physical strength, because if that were the case then people could just walk away from abusive relationships, but they can't because their a psychological aspect to it that boxes them in.
Would you like to go out on a coffee date someday?
“You rub one out, that’s the champagne of victory” I definitely felt that 😂😭🏆🍾🥂
"I'm talking about hitting women, sweetheart, and I think you just added another reason!" 😆😂
I am a girl, I totally agree. Bill, The truthful savage.
Came 4 the Cookies XD lol
@@cameforthecookies6419 obliviously you don't get the humor but of well lol
Are you single?
That was clearly just a compliment for those who understand KZhead. "The over thinking is very strong with this one" lol
*Noice* 😂 👌
The most important moment of male progress in the last 20 years.
Serious as a heart attack. How to argue saved my sanity and marriage
Your right about that
I H A T E Y O U
@TipsyBrothers only real beta males call other people on the internet who they don't know beta males.
@@boston_nsca ironic of you to say
Love it when he 'stirs the cauldron' with the mic stand at 10:23
I didn't catch that the first time. Hilarious.😂
I've listened to this bit dozens of times but it still never gets old
He's not wrong, lol. I love my gf very much but sometimes when she is losing an argument, she will bring up things that dont even pertain to our conversation....just to get an edge and sometimes it's really hurtful shit.
Why I carry a Zippo 😉
Tots m'gots.
You might need counseling or break up, depending on how terrible the things she says are.
Respect goes both ways, just let her know you dont need that shit and it needs to stop. Better to be single and rub one out than be with a woman who doesn't respect you.
Icky Mclicky Dump the bitch!
Poor Johnny Depp. If only more people watched Bill Burr...
Then his case would’ve been worse. He should’ve never married the skank.
@@monicapyle id do more than that
James Bond James you’d fuck anything that isn’t nailed down
@@ComicWriter-ml3qt 😂😂😂
@Jolyne Cujoh that's what he's saying
I come back to this just to hear that woman yell in the break of the joke "EVERYDAY" and I swear Bill Burr is one of the most real comedians left out there today. That symphony, unplanned, moment of the crowd participating in the joke is what makes comedy, comedy. He expected that but didnt expect that comment, and the crowd delivered.
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
“Worked like a charm. Worked like a charm!” “Even hockey has two minutes for instigating.” An underrated hilarious line.
My uncle got beat up, violently, by his now ex-girlfriend. The police arrived, came inside, and arrested him. Even though she was clearly the one at the scene who beat him up, the cops still took my uncle away to a temporary cell. Luckily, he was only fined but still, that's just fucked up.
yikes
That's the shit going down now. The power women weild is outrageous. Your uncle, if arrested, is now part of a permanent database even if his records are "expunged" or "sealed".
+Jeffarry Fined? Fined for what?
Chris V He was fined with “harassment” or some shit like that. They knew they couldn’t just fine him for straight up assault, because he didn’t do it. So they aimed lower and accused him of harassing her.
Your uncle should’ve gone to see a doctor recorded the injuries and sue the county for a miss handling of justice
Cause of Bill Burr, I've started winning arguments. He's right gents, Bob and Weave
@Charles Martel even tho you are right 99.999999999999999%, there is the VERY rare time that a man will win and that's why he's named Chuck Norris...
@Charles Martel Bob and Weave.
The moment she goes rogue, you win. Do the Colin Kaepernick and take a knee.
@Charles Martel A "draw" is a win sometimes. At least she stopped talking about it.
@@stonedjesus9887 Hey Adolph, you might like to hear how I stopped my ex-wife from calling me "The biggest asshole who was ever born." It's short and it worked.
This aged really well
I have a shitty temper and my wife also has one, so we agreed not to scream at our faces or even go over each other's voice when in close quarters. I appreciate a lot how much we both actually comply with it. Practical strategy simply works amazing. Even though we never had a physical discussion one can tell with our crappy tempers the best is too be conscious about it and create all possible barriers.
Communication is key in a relationship? Who knew! Snarkiness aside, good to hear you are working out
Wear a party hat when discussing tense stuff.
I was in a situation where I had no choice. It was my wife at the time. We got into an argument and she became very violent towards me in front of our kids. I didn't want my kids to see it so I tried to take them outside. My son was two years old at the time and she tried to snatch him away from me using a lot of force. She could have hurt him really bad. My gut reaction was to go into protective mode. I backhanded her and she slid half way across the house. She called the police and we both went to jail because we both had signs of an altercation on us. She took out a domestic violence order on me so to protect myself I took one out on her. When we finally went to court the judge looked at my ex and told her that I had the right and responsibility to protect my children from anyone including her. Dismissed my charge and asked me if I still wanted to press charges on her but I dropped them. If the situation were the same I would do it again but only to protect my children.
Jarrod Heglar I’m glad the judge sided with you there. I
You are a god good sir
That judge...is the good judge.
i wouldnt drop the charges if i were there tbh
That is rare. The father wins and deserved to. Awesome.
Lol I love the chick that screams “EVERYDAY”
I wish my girl would say that shit while sitting next to me. Look at the type of shit women can get away with!
Daij Shut yo sexy ass up
@@369pendulum This escalated quickly..
I would like a friend like her
perfect timing.
This is my favorite bit. Not only did it get me hooked on burr, but it changed my life substantially in handling relationships. Love this guy
“ we’re talking about hitting women sweetheart , and I think you just added another reason “ 😭💀
OMG, I died when the woman in the audience yelled, "EVERYDAY!!!!" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Naimal - The feeling's mutual, hon.
Later that night, her husband beat her ass lol
NaimaLovesPizza that was classic
NaimaLovesPizza And how they brought you back from the dead to comment this?
“IM NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AND SHES NAGGING ME!” 🤣 bill ur the best!!!
In fairness the woman who shouted out actually said.... "It's her right".
@@seanscanlon9067 ahhh that makes sense. But kinda see how Bill cant hear her right its far from him. Still that made a wonderful impromptu joke from Bill!
"Talking about hitting women, sweetheart, AND I THINK YOU JUST ADDED ANOTHER REASON!" 😂😂😂
@@seanscanlon9067 No she didn't. She stressed the first word, which does not match the statement you wrote.
@@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 So what do you think was the first word there?
The woman who said "EVERY DAY!" rescued the joke.
No it didn't
i always come back to this clip .....and it gets new everytime i watch it ....THIS IS GOLD
"Rub one out like a man, it's the champagne of victory" - GENIUS!
StonyRC Yes
StonyRC
I gotta say... that’s brilliant
StonyRC Genius indeed
StonyRC Dude that is beautiful, like artistic even.
8:00 "Come home 'TUNA CASSEROLE!' and just start swingin.." 😂😂😂😂 I'm in tears
Can someone explain this to me ? I'm not a native english speaker. i wanna know what it means, i bet it's hilarious.
@@yaneyd93 it doesn't really mean anything in particular, primarily just a piece of dark humor out of how America's domestic abuse can literally stem from the simplest of things, e.g. "Tuna casserole for dinner"
Thank you, i have just googled Tuna casserole and now i get it :D
@@yaneyd93 dimwit
Molo Stone racist
I wish I had the chance of standing next to this guy just so that I can hear him talk, I love his sense of humor so much 😂
“Take a knee and run out the clock” Best advice ever! 😂
Q:"Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?" A: "Being right makes me happy, darlin"
"Right or wrong, I'm right."
Her: Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Me: Are you threatening me, master jedi?
If I'm ever in the court for hitting a woman, I want bill burr as my lawyer.
And imagine if judge was woman there. 😂
He won't represent you if you hit a woman. That's the whole point.
@@MidoReigh his whole point is you shouldn’t just dismiss everything and focus on result. You have to actually look at what happened and lead to that point. He even says it “you cut out the build up and you’re left with the result. It’s crazy”
Lol
He will need a real law license not one from community college.
This is healing comedy at its best. Talking about things 90% of couples don't talk about, leading to 60% divorce rate and unhappy compromises of marriages of people too afraid to divorce.
I would never do it. Except. If she hits me first. Especially if she’s a stranger. If she hits me. She’s going down.
The headphones story is absolutely relatable. That shit is insane. Poke the bear like 10 times and then when the bear snaps they go, "Why are you so mad?" That or a similar stupid response.
agreed! it shows a painful degree of immaturity. That's just as petty and immature as walking around blasting the music, maybe even more!
Gaslighting.
He pissed her off because he was being petty. She demanded to talk and he blew up.
@@ghost245353 she was petty first about the dog walking.
Unless someone hits you, you don't hit them, unless you are totally simple and incapable of a grown up response.
"We're talking about hitting women sweetheart....and I think you just added another reason." Lol haha that was one of the best comebacks towards a heckler.
Tayeb Elshaikh You should see the blind hecler and how bill turned it up. It's amazing
lmao, I think she wasn't talking to him.
“EVERYDAAAAAYYY” had me dying
“It’s gonna fuckin rust”. This is the funniest moment of this entire segment by far, and there are a lot in here. I find myself watching those few seconds on repeat quite often.
Bill Burr is such a freak genius at wading into that gray area along the socially taboo and verboten and then just toying with that boundary in a hilarious way.
I mean, you're right, but why is talking about how to handle relationships properly taboo? I think that Bill Burr has a lot of good social commentary too.
My guy dives across the line and pulls it with him
yeah, he blew my mind 🖐👀
Burr, like Greg Giraldo are part of a very small group of comedians that can not only pull of pedophile jokes but, actually open with it....and nail it. Burr might not b the GOAT but....he might b.
@@trentjacobs3957 he definitely is the GOAT
My mother is a Hispanic. She was beat and abused by my father. She left him eventually. However she tells me this... Don't ever hit a women. You're a man and you're much stronger. However if a girl thinks she can just hit you over and over again cause she is a girl and can get away with it or wants to fight you like a man then you fight her like a man. Don't let any female place their hands on you like that.
Why would she tell u the latter part? seems to have nothing to do with what she was going through
@@aasdfaafa7110 Or maybe, she was telling him he has the right to defend himself, and he's not a punching bag for women. if a woman hits me, I'm hitting her back. Equality and all that. More people need to tell there worthless daughters it's not ok to put their hands on others.
@@aasdfaafa7110 she told me that cause she is sensible and knows a man and women should defend themselves. She doesn't think a man should ever place their hands on a female but if a female hits a man then that man has a right to defend themselves
you have a good mother
Your mom is an idiot.
Bill Burr is funny ironic, truthful and wilfully self deprecating at the same time - that takes talent.
This is definitely one of my favorites from him. He brings up a lot of good points about one sided stories, and never asking questions when they need to be asked…. . Smart, smart man.
As a woman I can fully agree that there are many reasons to hit a woman
Zoey Lolers as Female myself I agree. Especially those who are emotionally imbalanced, loud, lack of manners and couldn’t respond with reasons but emotions.
Thelondonbadger have some faith and you will encounter a few good ones in life
No 1. Reason: playing fortnite battle royale
@Daij I found one
@a wild baka good one. She just gave another reason why to want to hit a woman
I can't put it into words how happy I am that somebody finally said it. I've had ex's literally throw my own mother's death back into my face during an argument. If I ever even came close to saying something like that to a female people would burn my house down. If we truly want to be equals we need to address both sides of the curtain.
God that's so fucked up. Imagine throwing the death of a close one into someone's face just because you're angry with them. The problem with the feminist cult is that it wants to have it both ways: equality for the good stuff (rights and privileges) but inequality for the bad stuff and the responsibility (e.g. being fair game for a beat up). They always oscillate between these two positions according to the situation so that they always end up with the advantage.
You gotta get those bitche$ out, they are way too toxic to be involved with
I have this everytime i argue with my partner she can be very toxic......
@@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 It's not right for a woman to beat a man just like it's not right for a man to beat a woman. I see the double standard when it comes to women being violent towards men and it's disgusting, but just because women want equality shouldn't mean they are "fair game to for a beat up" because nobody should be beating anyone at all. Period. Nobody should be considered "fair game" because there shouldn't be a game in the first place. If you think that it's justifiable that people should be beaten for reasons other than protection, then you're siding with the women who get away with being violent towards men. I agree with your other statements, but I just wanted to put in my two cents on that one.
Bill has done a thing about equality like that too. Worth watching.
He brings in a good point, asking questions and understanding what led to it in the first place is the first step towards ending it
"I'm starting to turn this franchise around" lol. Makes me bust out into laughter everytime!!
"Are you the idiot that walked in halfway through the special?" 😂 Imagine paying to watch a special and getting called out for your BS in front of the crowd.
Pretty sure tapings are free
@@denimchicken104 Nah everyone would come and ruin the show
The dude roasted a random person lol I would of left
@@denimchicken104 Narrator: "They aren't."
@@redrich7679 its a comedy set. gotta have atleast a little thick skin to not get offended every 12 seconds
“She’s not even in a relationship with me, and she’s nagging me!” 👍
*"I'm not even in a relationship with her, and she's fucking nagging me!"*
@@polymathtutoring1292 Pay attention meat head you saying the same shit he said...😐
I feel like that was just a misunderstanding
@@iBloodxHunter reference to 8 Mile lol
@@SonicTheHedgeRat I literally just got done watching the ending battles lol
This is his best set, by far my fav,
I think I’ve watched this 20+ times
When woman says she doesn't want to talk about it, she really does. When a MAN says he doesn't want to talk damnit he doesn't want to talk.
When a woman says “I don’t want to talk about it” I’ll ask if they’re sure. They still say “no”, well I’m out of there I’m not playing games. They’re only hurting themselves when they inevitably say some bullshit later about how nobody keeps in touch and makes sure they’re alright or anything.
I actually don't want to talk about it. Mom didn't teach me how to talk about stuff.
@@CIorox_BIeach dude I dont know if you see this or not but my mom is always like messing me up amd when I am going to do something that hurts her because I cant stand her like leave the house (I know that she doesn't want me to leave and one time I keep asking her if she wanted me to stay she was saying like YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT I DONT CARE but I was persistent and she finaly said I dont want you to leave ) another time I just left the house and she told my brother to tell me to come back wtf is wrong with women I love them but they are hurting my feelings so much ) thanks for everyone listening to this I just wanted to tell it !
Its a me Mario I’m a woman and i totally feel what you are saying!! We’re sorry ok lol
@@prettybabyface7313 it's not right, and it hurts :(
One important point that is rarely talked about is: Men are quite often victims of domestic violence, too. And women are quite often the abuser. In the 2 1/2 years I worked as a paramedic i saw 6 victims of domestic violence. 2 were women who were abused by men, one of them later died of her horrible injuries. 2 were a lesbian couple who had kicked the shit out of each other. 2 were men who were abused by women. One of these men had been draged straight out of a drug rehab facility by his girlfriend, forcefully filled up with vodka until he couldn't defend himself anymore and then repeatedly whiped with a powercord, burned and hit with a pressing iron and stabed in the leg with a screwdriver. Guess who got made fun of for beeing pathetic weeklings. Guess who has next to no safehouses and help programs to escape from the violence. This is just my personal observation and has no empirical value whatsoever! But I think any program about domestic violence, that concludes "Men shouldn't hit women" isn't addressing the whole problem.
are you sure that you didn't also see two who were gay men who beat each other?
@@phuck8627 Gay dudes beat each other every night
@@skepticmonkey6923 hahaha classic
So sad. No Matter what gender. Keep YO Hands to yourselves ladies! No matter how badly you feel betrayed! Keep It pushin or fall victim to what they say about US! 😎 We need to learn how to DEAL! Without D extra DRAMA!!! Life to short People!😉 Be true to YOU! #Dont Hit Unless U Want 2 B Hit BACK!!!
Exactly, because gender don't make assholes. You have assholes everywhere in every faces, and it's ridiculous to separate this kind of thing like that.
that cauldron stirring at 10.25 killed me 🤣
"Just take a knee and run out the clock". Priceless, Grammy worthy advice.
“TUNA CASSEROLE!” I don’t why but it’s always that line that got me busting out laughing 💀💀😭😭😂😂😂
08:00 😂😂😂
Hahaha, same. I came to watch just for that bit
@@stevendip5318 casserole is usually seen as leftovers and usually microwaved. it being tuna makes it even worse. not much to explain if you think about it for 2 seconds
Lmfao to this day might be the funniest 2 seconds of any stand-up comedy. Still the best overall segment of all time.
I'm Wheezing
“Even hockey has 2 minutes for instigating” 😆
Bill wasn't lying. That's an actual penalty in hockey.
Jason Dyrkacz yes I know. It just amuses me greatly as an analogy
if it’s not a mutual decision, you shouldn’t throw hands
This is amazingly relevant now that the Depp vs. Heard case is ongoing.
The real comedy is the fact that we laugh more when something real and true is being said. This was as down to Earth true as possible and it was hillarious.
ardvark84 "tuna casserole! And start swinging"
And that sums up the genius of Bill Burr.
he's saying what we're thinking
Clone Squad I WAS THINKIN IT AND THEN YOU SAID IT
Tj Rizvi we’re all connected
+Art we are one. We are one. We are one.
djjazzyjeff123 now that’s hitting the head on the nail. Makes me want to be a comedian. What better way to vent. Lol
Clone Squad bill burr us secretly a geniuses
One of the absolute best...EVER!
Perfect cut from that set.
Bill Burr Sur, on behalf of all Men the world over, we salute you
Salute
Thank you for your service, Bill
Salut.
*Sir.
Salute
Rub one out. It's the champagne of victory! Brahh.. 😂😂😂😂😂
Martian post nut clarity
literally shaking the bottle
😂😂😂
Bill is so right about the way women argue.
That heckler "answer him right" had me in stitches. @6:00
the woman yelling ANSWER HIM was the best way i seen somebody turn awkward crowd input into what i assume was a standing ovation
i was so confused at that part whyd he roast her like that
@@BenAri18 Yeah, now that I'm watching it again I think she actually said that in support of Burr.
@@roelfkromhout yeh same i was like bruh im pretty sure she was w ur bill
@@BenAri18 because he was bombing and went after her
I honestly think she was a plant from Bill. The timing was fucking priceless.
“itsGONNAfucKINGRUST”
Bee Godly agree funniest line. Dean AUstralia
bill is just such a gem
"Tuna casserole and just start swingin" is my favourite line lol.
1:33 this shout "every day!" always cracks me up
"Answer him right" woman got owned. 😂😂😂
I want to say, as a woman, I say yes that a woman can be hit ONLY if she attacks you first, same goes for a man. IF someone dares attack you first, you have every right to hit them back regardless of gender.
That could be true, but if a man hits back, he has to make sure he hits back with equal or less force. Problem is men are much stronger so it could get ugly real quick. Even a if he just pushed her she could get shaken real bad.
Agreed but Bills point still stands
Murilo Cruz if she doesn’t want to get wrecked, don’t punch first. Simple as that, if it’s that bad, just break up or divorce. Just my opinion.
Yeah I agree. Inflicting physical violence is just asking for it. 99% of the time though men will be penalized.
you cant really limit that, If a skinny guy picks a fight with some bodybuilder, he knows what he's getting into and knows the odds aren't in his favor, so do most woman when engaging a man.
"Even hockey has 2 minutes for instigating" LMAO
It's true though. Hockey does have a penalty for instigating.
There is an oooold hockey game for MS-DOS (probably other ports as well) called Faceoff that has a 30 sec penalty for "losing the fight". Still cracks me up.
@@oz_jones haha, I used to play that on my old Nintendo. Couple of times it would end up in a real fight between my stepbrother and I.
I think the game was Mario lemieux hockey or blades of steel where whoever lost a fight was penalized 2 min and the winning team had a power play lol. I thought that was great. Great incentive to win a fight other than the obvious.
The way he uses the mic stand to stir the cauldron is straight-up *chef's kiss*
Can opener gonna fu*king rust 😂😂😂
bill burr - "why can you only ask questions about what the guy did and not the woman, why is that?" the woman responded by saying "It's her Right", as in her right to not be asked questions. LMFAO so stupid.
Gender "equality"
The chattering cuntfussing of ideologically possessed demons.
Don't matter what is said! Folks will always find something to complain about! The shit is TRUE ! And so funny!!!!
She probably also thinks it's her right to murder babies.
'Answer him right'. Means talk to him properly.
Bill: "I just ghosted her" Every other Man on the planet: "I gotta tell ya, worked like a charm"
gotta love the 420 likes. Lets hope it lasts
In fact, ghosting a woman solves all your life problems, I've tested if a few times myself. I'll take the champagne of victory over needless migraine
Thank you for opening up about this! Shines the light on the whole situation of NEVER asking for both sides of the story and instantly automatically assuming the Man is 100% guilty and the woman is innocent... Bullshit double-standard!
Take a knee and run out the clock! Brilliant line, and I'm going to be dropping hints of this so many times for work crap, the general toxic person out there, teaching my kids how to deal with their problems gracefully, etc.