Esther Perel with Chris Cuomo: The State of Affairs - Rethinking Infidelity

2024 ж. 23 Мам.
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Esther Perel and Chris Cuomo. Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author Esther Perel takes a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions. Recorded October 9, 2017 at 92nd Street Y.
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  • 39:08 "Divorce used to be the stigma but now it's choosing to stay when you can leave." Well said!

    @diruholic@diruholic3 жыл бұрын
    • That created a rise in my spirit!! Why was is so profound for you?

      @pamelapoe7441@pamelapoe74413 жыл бұрын
    • So beautifully explained.

      @damiongordon6551@damiongordon65513 жыл бұрын
  • Yeap im currently sucked into the esther perel black hole and im loving it! Learning heaaaaps from her

    @StaceyCaryl@StaceyCaryl5 жыл бұрын
    • Been in it for the last 3 days😂😂😂I thought I was tripping 😆

      @submissiveproviderstboth9485@submissiveproviderstboth94854 жыл бұрын
    • Saaaammeee! Somehow she's great to binge on!

      @FoodShowFan@FoodShowFan4 жыл бұрын
    • Shannon dobbs what else from her have you enjoyed?

      @pamelapoe7441@pamelapoe74413 жыл бұрын
    • Same

      @ginavanulzen6681@ginavanulzen66813 жыл бұрын
    • Have you noticed she is not married?

      @Canyoudigityesyoucan@Canyoudigityesyoucan3 жыл бұрын
  • "When you pick a person, you pick a story." So True! Love this woman xxx

    @auntylinda7640@auntylinda76403 жыл бұрын
    • She's wise. That's a declining trait in our species.

      @JamesMc2051@JamesMc20513 жыл бұрын
    • “A story” is a nice way to replace “a baggage”.

      @wosborne5535@wosborne55352 жыл бұрын
  • What she said.... at the end... about best way to speak the ending of a relationship.... made me weep for the truth and honesty and sacredness in the tone and the words. Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

    @kennethwilbanks9713@kennethwilbanks97135 жыл бұрын
    • A deep "cut" will always leave a horrible "scare"..always !

      @deeholloway6584@deeholloway65849 ай бұрын
  • This is a fantastic presentation! She is so deep and sees such a wide spectrum of views that are woven together so well.

    @blueeyessiamese@blueeyessiamese4 жыл бұрын
    • She is a wonderful Counselor and I hope to emulate her in my own work to help married couples and their relationships.

      @gabrielphiri3343@gabrielphiri33433 жыл бұрын
    • Absolutely agree!!

      @aprililes8355@aprililes83552 жыл бұрын
    • I am so happy to find Esther Perel podcasts and presentations. Esther is genius and has an amazing way to deliver the message ! I adore her accent.

      @IrynaGalevska@IrynaGalevska2 жыл бұрын
  • Wow!!! She nailed it, broke it down into so many pieces, until there's nothing left! Everything makes so much sense!!

    @MexRoze5@MexRoze54 жыл бұрын
  • Esther is such a beautiful speaker , so passionate, so articulate, and I love her accent too. Her book is great. I am enjoying reading it. Thank you Esther

    @bibbyni@bibbyni5 жыл бұрын
    • Yes, she IS eloquent and it is alluring

      @moonbeam7815@moonbeam78153 жыл бұрын
    • I admire your knowledge, expertise and ...your charming personality. I have also Polish background am so proud of it. First time I heard your accent I was sure must be something in it I recognised. 😁

      @ewaholmes707@ewaholmes7072 жыл бұрын
  • This is the most amazing and insightful, thought provoking talk I have heard regarding couples and relationships. It's enlightening. Thank you both for it.

    @arocketgal@arocketgal4 жыл бұрын
  • She is amazing and her eloquence and grace and conviction make most interviewers look like baffoons.

    @JasonQiuMusic@JasonQiuMusic5 жыл бұрын
  • Perel said that "Betrayal comes in many forms. Indifference. Contempt. Neglect. Violence." Wow. Very insightful, because there are plenty of actions one spouse does to the other, that bring infidelity to the union, where no sex was involved (yet). Sad. Tragic. That's life, sometimes.

    @kevc21@kevc213 жыл бұрын
  • My 44 plus year marriage story would read like a long novel. Among every thing else you can imagine there was infidelity on both sides.We split up for 3 years and went back and started all over again. We left the past inthe past. These last 25 years have not been easy but so with it! It just gets better and better. I am so glad we decided to reconnect and move forward.!

    @debrajones4840@debrajones48405 жыл бұрын
    • debra Jones mgtow is the best

      @riccia888@riccia8885 жыл бұрын
    • debra Jones nnbxbbhdgdckxhxih d xmmll444rrrrrrtgjhhj

      @matthewhaase6081@matthewhaase60815 жыл бұрын
    • Wow, u really inspire me. Im currently going thru separation from 15years with my husband recently discovered there's someone else and we too have been there but this past stint was so different and wonderful best ever then a blow caused my depression inevitably and he shutdown and became numb. Im crushed and though livid over his ability to replace me so fast n easy so to speak, i have no desire or intent to give up but just dont know what to do

      @bethanyswindle1225@bethanyswindle12255 жыл бұрын
    • can I ask you why you chose to be in a monogamus relationship? I am just asking because I am still figuring it out for myself...

      @voyance4elle@voyance4elle5 жыл бұрын
    • @@bethanyswindle1225 she is great !!

      @elainesavage2225@elainesavage22253 жыл бұрын
  • Betrayal is heartbreaking but when relationships become violent it’s our moral responsibility to remove ourselves from the relationship & protect ourselves, it’s the right thing to do . It’s the only thing to do !

    @stellaryogaarts3265@stellaryogaarts32654 жыл бұрын
    • Stellar yoga Arts And betrayal equals distrust forever...that does not make a true honest relationship

      @rosemontoya3656@rosemontoya36563 жыл бұрын
  • Esther Perel is an empathetic, observant, well-educated genius. Thank you, Esther, and thank you Chris, for bringing us her wisdom. I'm sure she and her book help thousands of people. hugs to you both!

    @miahleissa9599@miahleissa95995 жыл бұрын
    • Some genius !! According to YOU !?? I don't agree at all she is absolutely NO genius !! She writes a book of the typical French way of looking at sex , and marriage ..she paints a B's look at a marriage " sounds really word , and totally out landish , throwing " words around , and screwy "word pictures" that are so far from reality !! It's rediculous !! She is rediculous !! Her take on the whole thing is stupid ..French ..oh yeah !! Sure is , and NOT NEW !!! BUT WHAT DO STUPID AMERICANS KNOW ABOUT THE CRAZY FRENCH !!! SORRY BUT THIS IS THE TRUTH OF HER BS !!!

      @lilypowell1123@lilypowell11235 жыл бұрын
    • @@lilypowell1123 What's your problem? U have this rude comment on the other video too! She's not French like your mother, she grew up in Belgium, not France (maybe she speaks French)! Ester is amazing! Marriage takes a lot of work, determination, patience! (I was married for 10 years - together for12 yrs) and raised my 3 step kids ages 3, 9, & 10 yrs. old for 12 years, and I helped/supported financially my 6 nephews & nieces for their college tuition, books, allowances in the Philippines for 4-6 years, while I worked full-time, and attended night school for pre-nursing classes. Dr. Ester is not stating infidelity/affair is acceptable. Spouses go through a lot in marriage, they need to communicate, trust, and love, etc. If the wife still loves the husband and able to forgive him for his affair, and still wants to work out the marriage and move on then so be it. If not, then they'll go their separate ways! She can't help all marriages. At the end, it's the couples decision!

      @anil.3899@anil.38994 жыл бұрын
    • Chris is a well-educated genius, too. Cultured, seasoned, refined intellect

      @moonbeam7815@moonbeam78153 жыл бұрын
    • She's German🤦 If you're going to have such a deep and hateful opinion make sure you know where your insults are coming from. Raised in Belgium and having both parents from German backgrounds, that BOTH spent 5yrs in concentration camps & BOTH were the ONLY survivor's in their family, you have to expand your mind to really think how she was raised!? Their beliefs?! Their love language?! Position's in the family!? AGAIN try and expand what you've known and believed your whole life, to learn something possibly better than you knew existed 💜

      @cassw4100@cassw41002 жыл бұрын
    • @@moonbeam7815 LMFAO! This didn't age well.😂😃😄

      @lancedukel3436@lancedukel34362 жыл бұрын
  • I made a journal for 2 years with statements an conversations between my husband and me..because I thought I was going mad with paranoia..very clever gaslighting, 😭

    @pippamellon8678@pippamellon86782 жыл бұрын
  • Mrs Esther Perel, Thank you for lending your amazing skills to the world. I have learned so much from you.

    @Shayechique@Shayechique5 жыл бұрын
  • Esther, I have been watching your videos for a very long time, but this video really got to me. You are incredible! I am also Belgian so that got me watching in the first place but your words get right into my heart. I have just remarried at age 68 and have entered into this (4th) marriage with a very different set of values thanks, to an extent, to having listened to you. Thank you. You are truly amazing. PS. My first two marriages were great to start off with, my third lasted 25 years and was wonderful but my husband sadly passed away which broke me. He was fantastic. He was a Belgian Jew - I am Christian. My current marriage is so different but beautiful. I want to make this wonderful man happy. He makes me happy. These words are completely insufficient but obviously impossible to go into further in this space. 😊

    @roselynehue3435@roselynehue34352 жыл бұрын
  • Really enjoyed this interview. Esther is such a dynamic thinker and speaker. Chris did a great job facilitating a rich conversation.

    @gregbabcock9844@gregbabcock98443 жыл бұрын
  • I love esther, her work, her delivery, her approach, her opinions and knowledge, I am not sure if I've seen (heard, read) anything by her that I didn't like. But this interview was hands down, the BEST 60+ mins I've seen with her in an interview format conversation, well, ever. I wish it could have gone on indefinitely. Embarrassing truth, I didn't even know who Chris was before watching this. But I do now! Highly impressive interview.

    @ckinahan1@ckinahan15 жыл бұрын
    • This may speak some truths but she has not mentioned the spiritual side of love including the sexual spirituality .

      @JohnSmith-vy4lh@JohnSmith-vy4lh4 жыл бұрын
    • John Smith exactly!! And that’s what I was looking for, with Jesus, we realize our flesh is weak by our desires but we lean on Him for our strength, and chose to live by faith and trust the Lord will give us a way out of sin if we ask him. But we have to desire to chose his way and not our own

      @pamelapoe7441@pamelapoe74413 жыл бұрын
  • I love you Esther Perel. Thank you! I think there are some relationships worth fighting for and there are some worth letting go of. In the end, the decision to leave or stay is yours.

    @viviananugo6558@viviananugo65585 жыл бұрын
    • Word! Preach!

      @barbaramoorwright2218@barbaramoorwright22185 жыл бұрын
    • Life is about fulfilling happiness. If letting go bring you happiness go for it.

      @Saved.by.Jesus.@Saved.by.Jesus.3 жыл бұрын
  • When someone wants to go, release them no matter the depth of your pain and disappointment. Pour your ability to love into someone who will reciprocate in a way that matches yours.

    @katsmith4905@katsmith49052 жыл бұрын
    • Yes

      @MimiSteel@MimiSteel Жыл бұрын
    • I’m happy that my family

      @csharpless1@csharpless1 Жыл бұрын
    • Brilliant.

      @carolyndukeanderson8880@carolyndukeanderson8880 Жыл бұрын
    • Ingaging in infidelity doesent mean they want to go its just a weakness a lack of vision for the future a refusal to control our thought life., it causes so much pain.

      @neilbush9873@neilbush9873 Жыл бұрын
    • What about talking? Why the affair? What could be healed? What about the good things together? Could be the marriage saved? Please wait, don’t rush, separation to sort things out, If not Then let it go & move forward?

      @albertsax8238@albertsax8238 Жыл бұрын
  • “I don’t think anything of if I just ask the questions” 😂 Such an interesting topic and great interview! Also chris is the whole package

    @ilanak9995@ilanak99954 жыл бұрын
    • He REALLY is!

      @moonbeam7815@moonbeam78153 жыл бұрын
  • I believe most marriages ( 60-70 % in America ) happen not because of being in love with the person, but because of other reasons - belief that you have to be married after dating for few years, you are scared to be alone, belief that you need someone to pay your bills and buy you a house, belief that all your friends are married, so if you want to fit in the circle of your friends, you have to be a part of a couple, it's convenient to have a companion to come home to, habit of having someone to have sex with, belief that " my income and his income will get us better lifestyle", belief that my parents know best and I will trust them to find me a person to marry ...so I'm actually shocked that marriages last as long as they do, and I can totally see that being married for all these wrong reasons would easily lead to infidelity...as deep down you feel that the person you are married to is not "the one", so part of you wants to escape the marriage and continue search for your soulmate, at least that's how I see it...

    @europeblue@europeblue4 жыл бұрын
    • If you're that mentally feeble and malleable then do the bare-minimum decent thing and don't drag innocent people into your black hole of uncertainty's orbit while you figure your shit out at their expense. If you fail to self-actualize in any meaningful way: DON'T ENTER COMMITMENTS THAT REQUIRE TRUST, HONESTY AND FIDELITY. And if you do, take full responsibility and ownership for the inevitable harm and damage you will undoubtedly cause.

      @forsythejones2130@forsythejones21304 жыл бұрын
    • Exactly! The problem is people who also make you doubt your choice and use any knowledge they learn about your spouse’s cheating against you.

      @mounaghm6474@mounaghm64742 жыл бұрын
    • Ever was thus.

      @whazzat8015@whazzat8015 Жыл бұрын
  • My sister just discovered her husband has been cheating for over 10 years. Listening to Esther is helping me to help my sister as she goes through this difficult process.

    @gianghoang5759@gianghoang57596 жыл бұрын
    • Giang Hoang I know of another who went through that. She stayed with him. But I do wonder why he told her...regarding... I've just off loaded this on you. He feels relieved, her heart and mind is shattered...her past and maybe her future. I hope for the best outcome. It truly does affect the spouse, children, extended family and anyone who learns of this. Maybe they need to keep it between themselves if they want to remain married or they'll have to face judgement and opinions of others.

      @manichairdo6346@manichairdo63466 жыл бұрын
    • Giang Hoang sendings her some love sis

      @Mscursed2@Mscursed26 жыл бұрын
    • Belgiun not French

      @lilybrussee1361@lilybrussee13615 жыл бұрын
    • Lily Powell 😂 She’s not French. Sounds like you’re biased by some personal baggage.

      @angelamita9742@angelamita97425 жыл бұрын
    • @@lilypowell1123 she has stated either in this or another interview that she has a french accent but is Belgian.

      @pboyd8354@pboyd83544 жыл бұрын
  • Such a charming, intelligent and extraordinarily articulate person. Very informative interview! Many thanks, Esther Perel.

    @OShaughnessyC@OShaughnessyC4 жыл бұрын
  • She is amazing because she is cutting through all the layers of morality and emotional truisms and gets to the real meaningful issues. She is helpful because once you can accept reality instead of projection or denial etc, you can start your healing. Whatever it means for you or the other, apart or together or something in between, the most important part is to be joyful in your life. Without judgement or shame. That will definitely always be part of it. It’s not a positive thing to keep a secret that you know will fundamentally hurt and potentially cause harm to many people in your life. The secret becomes a land mine. We are starting from a place of dishonesty already because much of what is taught as ideal or expected in relationships is a setup for failure in all but the rarest cases. It is sad that many only reach the point of complete honesty because they have been blown apart by groundwork that they could not see but from a distant perspective is unavoidable. Till death do us part is a very sacrificial oath, and not to the true health of either person so bound. We are very hard on ourselves with little logical reasoning a lot of the time. When this gets bound up in cultural norms and religious traditions it becomes very difficult to understand or accept when the ideal fails that it is okay to move forward or end the relationship. We need to be more careful when we promise something we don’t know how to give because all experiential life is subjective. Personally I think we should throw Morality into the trash bin and allow ourselves the decency to be honest with others and ourselves. Staying in a relationship to save someone a broken heart is just another form of dishonesty. The pain we suffer in secret is the pain we may eventually pass onto others but without any context or understanding. This can ruin lives in so many ways. She is on the right track with her insight and empathy as well as being able to explain nuance to audiences in a non threatening, non judgmental manner. I wish more therapists could have just half of her grace and wit. The world would be a much healthier place.

    @herahagstoz6934@herahagstoz69345 жыл бұрын
    • Hera Hagstoz 01

      @berryjlawson4875@berryjlawson48755 жыл бұрын
    • how well you put your thoughts. i agree, the level of wisdom and enlightenment she reached are very high. when she talks it feels like the veil of vagueness and abstraction that covers things disappears and you see everything so clearly and objectively!! she's mind blowing!! I understand why a man would spend 30-35 years next to such a woman! she is extraordinary!

      @Diamondkity@Diamondkity5 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts. One statement was glaringly true for me, "We are starting from a place of dishonesty already because much of what is taught as ideal or expected in relationships is a setup for failure in all but the rarest cases." Having read that I am reminded of the skills I have learned from Susan Campbell, PhD in her book "Saying What's Real." Her philosophy is, like Esther's, is eye-opening. If we weren't trained to be such liars, we may have better relationships all the way around.

      @paulineschmitt4504@paulineschmitt45045 жыл бұрын
    • Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number and social media handles with Cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Skype,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text and recent messages. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later.

      @emokiriemiabednegoabed2844@emokiriemiabednegoabed28444 жыл бұрын
    • Please try to be more succinct.

      @barbaraladams5304@barbaraladams53044 жыл бұрын
  • this video actually make me open minded, there is always a cause for anything ever happened, maybe we just have to face the real matter instead just being judgement of the idea of infidelity. Definitely gonna read the book.

    @shashazhou432@shashazhou4325 жыл бұрын
  • Wow. So glad I came across this. Her goal was to help people rethink what we feel and what we’ve been taught about infidelity and I definitely have.

    @cherrybomb642@cherrybomb6423 жыл бұрын
  • 54:02 is straight FIRE! Esther has a way to speak so compassionately and assertively that is unmatched.

    @myark55@myark553 жыл бұрын
  • As Esther Perell says, sometimes things hurt, but that doesn't mean they're 'wrong'. Every change hurts. Every broken expectation hurts. Interesting to ponder about what pushes people to tell their spouse about an affair: coming clean being a selfish reason. I like how she cuts right through the BS, bless her for having a clear sight.

    @Misslotusification@Misslotusification5 жыл бұрын
    • As a therapist you would have to take this nonjudgmental perspective.

      @pboyd8354@pboyd83544 жыл бұрын
    • Yea. It’s simple though. Before you make a decision, can you deal with the potential consequences? Proceed after you find your answer

      @NPFfumbi@NPFfumbi4 жыл бұрын
    • Most spouses want to know.

      @mrana2424@mrana24244 жыл бұрын
    • Getting Jacked ...It’s simple though, before you DO something think about the consequences. Why do ALL of the people who have committed adultery that I have ever known deeply regret it? Why do people cry & beg for forgiveness? Beg their betrayed partner to stay?

      @suzimonkey345@suzimonkey3454 жыл бұрын
  • “Ultimately, it is the quality of our relationships that will determine the quality of our lives”...So true...

    @dbdigital57@dbdigital574 жыл бұрын
  • Infidelity is a symptom of an internal conflict. I love listening to this woman since I share her opinions.

    @seriouslyjoking2@seriouslyjoking24 жыл бұрын
    • That is not always true. Sometimes the affair is about one self - not their spouse.

      @korenstewart7450@korenstewart74503 ай бұрын
  • I love the way Chris at the end kissed her hand you don't see that anymore it's a respect for a woman. Chris got great since of humor and his guest as well they both been very understanding to each other and gave each other time to express themselves. Great questions from the audience and I have to give Chris credit for picking the best ones and his guest to answer them.

    @marimetr4261@marimetr42613 жыл бұрын
  • Wow just wow ! What an absolute needed interview for me. My wife and I are going thru a crisis and I think I am now ready to accept and work to rebuild our marriage. I hope my wife can also feel it too.

    @sparky9868@sparky98682 жыл бұрын
  • One of the best interview i've watched on youtube. Chris was funny and overall an amazing interviewer. Esther as always was epic. i love that she mentioned Viktor Frankl. why am i not surprised.

    @rizzamaeong@rizzamaeong5 жыл бұрын
  • This is the longest conversation but very informative video I have ever seen. What a relief.

    @wasabee4639@wasabee46395 жыл бұрын
  • This is a brilliant interview. The guy is fun. The lady is refreshing to listen to.

    @manichairdo6346@manichairdo63466 жыл бұрын
    • Watch Cuomo on CNN - he is true and gives things to you as they are - great journalist / legal. Especailly entertaining when he has his big brother on (who happens to governor of NY)

      @dda3252@dda32523 жыл бұрын
    • Hijuuu John ivî Ho Chinju Iii king oh

      @tracyparmer5117@tracyparmer51173 жыл бұрын
    • Dd A j b v

      @tracyparmer5117@tracyparmer51173 жыл бұрын
    • UK the uu yuh yuh juju ugohj juju juju u o Jin bjguihji Inc univ juju I

      @tracyparmer5117@tracyparmer51173 жыл бұрын
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      @tracyparmer5117@tracyparmer51173 жыл бұрын
  • I think this is Esther’s best interview so far, I think this s£&t ain’t for the weak, love is a constant work and learning, most people just see things black and white.

    @dreamkev@dreamkev6 жыл бұрын
    • You are absolutly right i am in one of the best relationships i have ever had, and let me tell we are happy, but aint easy sometimes

      @sarag.4562@sarag.45623 жыл бұрын
  • Dear Mr Perel, thank you so much for the time and energy placed into this book and the talks which accompany it. For years it had been bothering me that seemingly good upstanding love-able people can turn in an instant and resolve to such a "hateful" crime. Until I was that person, for which-ever reason i did it. Then for a decade i beat myself up for this "crime". I my understanding and acceptance of the human spirit had change over the years and i to have come to understanding that the action of cheating and being cheated is unacceptable but not wrong - for exactly unacceptable for exactly the reasons you mentioned in the the talk and it definitely don't make it less hurtful. For years though we are taught to hurt other by means of cheating is a crime and should be punished in the most serve way as possible and I owned up to my crime and even though i did not get killed physically i killed myself and every other possible relationship there after because of the notion that I am such a bad person. It was such a revelation to listen to the talk and see that someone else did the write about it and talks about it in the bigness that it is

    @debbyhaleytracy@debbyhaleytracy4 жыл бұрын
    • Cheating on someone is the worst thing one can do in a relationship. It is the most pain you can cause another. Good for you that you beat yourself up for it

      @goldbrick2563@goldbrick2563 Жыл бұрын
  • She is amazing in her ability to clarify and elucidate a very difficult subject. Wonderfully done, Cudus to Esher.

    @yaacovba@yaacovba4 жыл бұрын
  • 42:12 this motto is one of the many reasons why people can’t commit. The other half doesn’t fit all the archetypes... and therefore you spend your years trying to find someone who can. It’s like trying to find perfection. The thing is, your other half may not fit all your buckets, and that’s okay!! So long as they try their best and show up to work in a loving relationship to the best of their ability.

    @carinaoliveira5850@carinaoliveira58503 жыл бұрын
  • the best talk with Esther that I hear till now. Thanks for the questions

    @catiaribeiro15@catiaribeiro156 жыл бұрын
  • ‘@23:05 ‘’Maybe you’re not nice enough...and nobody wants to be with you’’ - Esther Perel 🤣

    @Nah-ah@Nah-ah4 жыл бұрын
  • what a great, great interview... 👍👍👍👍🌹 respect to both of them

    @Aikyiomi@Aikyiomi5 жыл бұрын
  • OMG, Chris ….obviously this show is old….but This is like a stand up or sitting… comedy show! …it doesn’t really matter because the subject is timeless and you are killing me with your humor, responses & very personal reactions. We know you so well Chris, also because you allowed us to know you. Thank you, this is very entertaining even if the subject is very serious 👍🇫🇷🇺🇸

    @catherinesalacuse3284@catherinesalacuse32849 ай бұрын
  • These two are so fun to watch together ... great chemistry - great interview! Thank you!

    @mamalovesthebeach437@mamalovesthebeach4376 жыл бұрын
    • Darris B. Nelson ñ

      @tootsie4681@tootsie46815 жыл бұрын
    • great minds

      @SpLcSherilyn@SpLcSherilyn4 жыл бұрын
    • Yes, very challenging for Chris to communicate that he’s open to being with her without upsetting his now ex wife

      @timesize@timesize4 жыл бұрын
    • Josie is a liar, and probably did everything he suspected, if not more before he confronted her. And somewhat successfully, scapegoated him into regretting catching her

      @timesize@timesize4 жыл бұрын
    • Any Chris Cuomo interview is a success! He is brilliant (and stunning!)

      @moonbeam7815@moonbeam78153 жыл бұрын
  • I am married 35 years and people clap. The marriage could have been bad but people clap for longevity

    @Saved.by.Jesus.@Saved.by.Jesus.3 жыл бұрын
    • So true

      @TitusGlennofficial@TitusGlennofficial3 жыл бұрын
  • I have seen several of her talks, and she is brilliant.

    @schappiness@schappiness5 жыл бұрын
  • Let's not ask "is this right or wrong", let's ask "how do we deal with a painful situation without bringing punishment, vilification and condemnation into the picture"

    @hannahmiller3403@hannahmiller34034 жыл бұрын
    • Wow! He cheated and brought a painful situation. I brought punishment, vilification and condemnation. Took my pound of flesh and kicked him to the curb. If there’s any hope he can be a decent partner to his next, “victim,” it’ll be because of me.

      @camillagonzales6917@camillagonzales69172 жыл бұрын
  • This woman is so highly intelligent. I must find this book.

    @peterschaefer1665@peterschaefer1665 Жыл бұрын
  • Love this talk!! Esther is always the best! So insightful!! Chris is sooo funny!! He made the talk even more enjoyable!! Love both of them!

    @JaneZhaozhaoandassociate@JaneZhaozhaoandassociate6 жыл бұрын
    • WRONG SHE'S JUST A TYPICAL FRENCH NUT !!!

      @lilypowell1123@lilypowell11235 жыл бұрын
    • Belgian* … I guess I like nutty people then😊

      @jessielewis4057@jessielewis40572 жыл бұрын
  • The talk was insightful and engaging. Also, the host drove the conversation in an enjoyable manner!!

    @sarojsimkhada8727@sarojsimkhada87275 жыл бұрын
  • She is amazing and I am so happy of that I had opportunity to discover her new way of thinking about relationships between people. She gives me new point of view. Thank you,Estel.

    @mariakirilova4152@mariakirilova41525 жыл бұрын
  • Ester, as always invaluable in sharing her knowledge and experience on relationships. She informs in a way that empowers us to raise our own bar and do better in all our relationships. I’d love to here what a behavioural psychologist would have to say about Chris’ body language.

    @nualankalas7014@nualankalas70144 жыл бұрын
  • At last, it is about broken hearts. He is doing great and releases some female passion in her. In a good, healthy, amuzing way. Good interview. Thanks. 🥂

    @kristine6996@kristine69962 жыл бұрын
  • One thing I like from the Cuomos is their eloquence, elegant speech, assertiveness

    @martaalvarez7478@martaalvarez74783 жыл бұрын
  • The best host among her interviews. Great job. And she's getting more incredible than ever.

    @jjwang2314@jjwang23145 жыл бұрын
  • An amazing, articulate, beautiful and intelligent lady. Love her. He's a very charming, professional and charismatic interviewer who has done a really good job.

    @martynacoffey5980@martynacoffey59803 жыл бұрын
  • Its an amazingly written book by my favourite researcher on relationships. She is one person whom has poured enlightenment into my life.

    @MsLamlum@MsLamlum5 жыл бұрын
  • Esther Perel and Chris Cuomo I am so thankful I was able to watch this dialog about such a hurtful matter. This conversation is an eye opener

    @mayradelacruz2437@mayradelacruz24372 жыл бұрын
  • I have learned so much after listening to Esther’s conferences, interviews, her book, etc. THANK YOU ESTHER'!!!!!!!

    @iracemasanchez5154@iracemasanchez51542 жыл бұрын
  • This is an amazing presentation

    @gailcaplan7015@gailcaplan70153 жыл бұрын
  • Loved this. Great interview and loved Chris wit and Esthers just amazing and a true professional in her work 💖

    @Havanah2006@Havanah20065 жыл бұрын
  • Being in love is not for the weak

    @terriodessky1994@terriodessky19946 жыл бұрын
    • Terri Odessky amen

      @Mscursed2@Mscursed26 жыл бұрын
    • A battlefield plagued with land mines.

      @lluu0211@lluu02115 жыл бұрын
    • Love make you dumb

      @riccia888@riccia8885 жыл бұрын
    • HAHA! Truer words have NEVER been spoken. LOL!

      @Tommi717@Tommi7175 жыл бұрын
    • No such thing as love. More like attachment

      @NPFfumbi@NPFfumbi4 жыл бұрын
  • Infidelity is actually really really common i came across so many guys who were looking to sleep with other people. Relationship is no joke the work that you have to put into it is very real

    @yoyoyo5621@yoyoyo56214 жыл бұрын
  • Esther is an amazing speaker and truly has helped me look at relationships in such a positive way. She looks at each situation objectively to help couples face the challenges they experience. That genuine concern for both people involved in the relationship gives both parties a chance to learn and grow individually.

    @nicolescott2881@nicolescott28813 жыл бұрын
  • Esther- you are an amazing speaker- so pragmatic, so helpful, so honest and fair! Bought your book which is very helpful. Your videos are extremely valuable. Thank you!!

    @CC-xv4vv@CC-xv4vv4 жыл бұрын
  • I’ve looked at this interview several times since it was first published and each time I find a gem of insight.

    @nicharamkissoon9762@nicharamkissoon97622 жыл бұрын
  • What an enlightening and entertaining interview. Esther is brilliant. Chris did an outstanding job as interviewer making this topic a bit more approachable.

    @fliesbyme@fliesbyme4 ай бұрын
  • I love the way Esther Perel is explaining the things about the reality that is really going on nowadays and how to deal with it xxx

    @yasmineelmarini345@yasmineelmarini3453 жыл бұрын
  • What a profound woman. And I love her humor too.

    @axiomaddict@axiomaddict Жыл бұрын
  • Wow!... A whole new perspective - enough for me to resume lookin' for love. This is good stuff! Thank you.

    @terrifranklin7585@terrifranklin75854 жыл бұрын
  • Wonderful lecture on marriage and family counseling. Esther’s book is on my “must have, gotta read” list. Thank you for sharing.

    @surylangman2468@surylangman24682 жыл бұрын
  • Her tone of voice is astounding. She’s super smart and extremely charming. Her accent just makes everything sexy.

    @sweetf3311@sweetf33114 жыл бұрын
    • Im sure he has alot of woman thinking of being with a smart good looking man its only normal out. In the world its not easy. Dont hurt to admire looks. Clean looking sharp dress man. And handsome very.

      @lorraine.lacarra1991@lorraine.lacarra19914 жыл бұрын
    • Look at my daughter's book ciarra cavallro brain waves. Very true also like. The way people think

      @lorraine.lacarra1991@lorraine.lacarra19914 жыл бұрын
    • Lorraine. Lacarra Claras

      @claraseabright7081@claraseabright70814 жыл бұрын
    • Can't we talk about the content of what she's saying rather than sexualizing her "accent"?? ...

      @kaleprincess8268@kaleprincess82683 жыл бұрын
  • Hi! Im from India. My mother said the very same thing to me as told by Esther in this video. We had this discussion approximately 13 years ago, im 27 now. She told me not to feel disheartened if that happens, one person cannot fulfill all needs.

    @Sonaliwithlove@Sonaliwithlove5 жыл бұрын
    • Sonali Gupta -Your mother is wise

      @jeffinerd1@jeffinerd15 жыл бұрын
    • Wow! Your mom has an open mind! Grace and honor to her... I applaud you for being her son!

      @suzanahas4740@suzanahas47404 жыл бұрын
    • If somebody is not complete for someone doesn't mean he/she will be complete for other ,u don't have to decide their value u just have to leave them they will find somebody who will find them complete

      @AnkeshKumar-fx4dl@AnkeshKumar-fx4dl6 ай бұрын
  • THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT ON A TOPIC WE ALL KNOW SO WELL... AWESOME INFORMATION!

    @bettinamcclendon9026@bettinamcclendon90264 жыл бұрын
  • 33:14 This part about feeling alive always sticks in my mind.

    @pumpkinhill4570@pumpkinhill45703 жыл бұрын
  • Friends of mine -after MANY years of living together - got married. Their contract was to re-convene their contract every year on their anniversary. They are now a solid 38 yrs together.

    @amandabrisbane8716@amandabrisbane87165 жыл бұрын
    • That's pretty friggin cool

      @FoodShowFan@FoodShowFan4 жыл бұрын
    • @@thekiwisqu33z34 there are advantages to being married - from the top of my head: for children, for tax or insurance reasons, better mortgage conditions etc.

      @arenasification@arenasification4 жыл бұрын
  • It comes down to respect for yourself and others

    @vivienrhodes4248@vivienrhodes42483 жыл бұрын
  • This was thoroughly beautiful. ♥ So refreshing Esther Perel. THANK YOU for these dialogues.

    @ryalat3682@ryalat36823 жыл бұрын
  • Esther’s writing beautifully captures the dialectic, the drama, the daring to go where most people would go silently. If at all.

    @ellenbruckermarshall4179@ellenbruckermarshall4179Ай бұрын
    • Your partner cheated on you?.

      @AlbertNewton-bf6cr@AlbertNewton-bf6crАй бұрын
  • Chris Cuomo. What a great interviewer! I so enjoyed this and your humor!

    @karab2222@karab22225 жыл бұрын
  • I love when Esther Perel smiles without showing the teeth. it's a mischievous smile

    @alejandrojoselizano@alejandrojoselizano4 жыл бұрын
  • That's why I don't get in a relationship is too much work besides myself and I'm afraid of f****** it up 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    @catherinemartinez2625@catherinemartinez2625 Жыл бұрын
  • This is truly beautiful conversation about a very difficult topic.

    @MiradorAccess@MiradorAccess4 жыл бұрын
  • Thank you Esther, I can finally truly move on from my "failed" marriage knowing that I did not "fail".

    @chasingclouds7101@chasingclouds71015 жыл бұрын
  • That was great she is amazing thank you for bringing her out

    @paulburke9157@paulburke91575 жыл бұрын
  • Esther the work you do is amazing! Please consider coming to NZ in the future 💖

    @si6046@si60464 жыл бұрын
  • You both are so good with the conversations!❤️

    @jjnjimmy@jjnjimmy3 жыл бұрын
  • "this is deep and it makes me uncomfrotable but i want to know more, but i shouldnt be too curious," his words and body language speaks about how he feels. We must keep in mind his father Mario Cuomo former Governor of New York was a deeply religious man and that can explain why Chris Cuomo might feel uncomfortable. Esther is intelligent, educated, and gives great insight to this topic and living in such changing world from vs to the ones our parents have been living in. With such high rate of divorce, her insight helps to understand both sides of the spectrum. She doesnt give an answer per say but gives posibilities and understanding to the individual especially because every relationship is so different.

    @Nadia-ls6qx@Nadia-ls6qx5 жыл бұрын
    • Yes He pulls us in w his funny mix of self-awareness and at the same time, not quite getting it... He unecessarily made the conversation about his own values / hangups and judgments.

      @macummings7818@macummings78184 жыл бұрын
    • Very true! Our strength to resist temptation comes from the Lord Jesus Christ. His word is the blueprint for our time on earth- the fact we have freedom of choice is what many have difficulty with. When left to their on will they fall- which is why we have to consistently resist our will and intentionally chose God’s will. Nonetheless, interesting conversation

      @pamelapoe7441@pamelapoe74413 жыл бұрын
  • I know it would be easier for us all to believe that, when we do something that ‘we’ consider wrong, that we’re gonna find someone to tell us we did nothing wrong, but human nature is an emotional ride. The person who wants forgiving, in most cases believe in fidelity at all other times except when they are not doing something that they themselves also believe is wrong AND hurtful. I don’t believe in telling others which is right, but I do believe that no matter which way you live, that is up to you, but if you know the other person doesn’t live that way or would be hurt, reveal yourself to them and let them choose. I have friends who claim not to believe in fidelity, but it is only at certain times and when it is not at the deficit of themselves. Forgiveness and communication are huge factors in relationships. Forgiveness, when you really do have someone who’s made a genuine mistake and is capable of working to fix as a team; and communication, to be able to communicate to the other person your needs, so that lack of, cannot be a reason listed for cheating, as defined by both people before one of them cheats. Like the piña colada song. If you both could just tell each other your needs; but sadly, lack of communication and behaviors go way back before two people have even met-sorry antifreudians.

    @shvonned.burkemsncrnpagpcn619@shvonned.burkemsncrnpagpcn6194 жыл бұрын
  • A great author ! What would make her great is that she really have understood things totally ,and perfectly. Honestly, there is nothing to add to what she says , because she has made her words as an amazing piece of art ,gathering the best words to use ,and the best articulation with the best and the right thoughts , with the pretty accent, which cover her ideas with the beauty of the voice . She really deserves to be something very important ,and to have a very high position. Society needs so much people like her !

    @NA-je3nn@NA-je3nn Жыл бұрын
  • You guys 🥰 did such an amazingly funny interview, yet so caring, and just everything. Thank you both

    @ali1dr185@ali1dr1852 жыл бұрын
  • her sense of presence has such clarity, within the realm of great change in relationships to oneself, and other. how great to be alive to see this time of exploring, life and love.

    @suzanneperlmutter6031@suzanneperlmutter60315 жыл бұрын
  • He could have taken the effort to introduce Esther Perel and her body of work. Esther is brilliant!

    @slimfast67@slimfast675 жыл бұрын
  • Great interview. I now have yet another book to buy and read

    @eteldias5176@eteldias51764 жыл бұрын
  • You two make such a great and hilarious team!! This was absolutely amazing! ❤

    @chrismarchetti-olson6632@chrismarchetti-olson66323 ай бұрын
  • 22:00 Betrayal comes in many forms! If you treat your partner like rubbish, don't expect them to always be around! 25:00 You've always got control over your actions, what you choose is your responsibility! You make the choice to have an affair, how do you cross the line without conscious choice? 26:00 The model that affairs are symptoms of a problem relationship is not always the correct assumption. A affair has it's own meaning. 28:15 There's no defined definition of an affair ( it's subjective) but the components ( equation) are: Affair = secrecy, sexual alchemy and emotional involvement 31:04 33:15 Affairs are selfish! Affairs are plots of entitlement! Everyone has wants, needs and desires but to what extent? To what point do we take it or fulfill our own desires to the detriment of another that we are committed to? 34:50

    @sf5823@sf58233 жыл бұрын
  • OMG!!! Chris is hilarious! Awesome interview.

    @bumpers17921@bumpers179213 жыл бұрын
  • Esther I am getting obsessed with your work.... it builds my strength on the reality you putting us through...

    @shirleyvilakazis@shirleyvilakazis3 жыл бұрын
  • This is so good. Omg this lady knows her stuff and is on point. Good therapist here. Thank you!

    @dominiquegordon8813@dominiquegordon8813 Жыл бұрын
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